Latest / Gentlemen Hour / DEPRESSION!
Transcript
- Filthy P: Ladies and gentlemen, we are live! ⁓ How are you, brother? Welcome back. Hey, ⁓ we're recording. I take everything I just said and Yeah, you better take it back now. Hot mic, hot mic. I didn't know it was a hot mic, bro. My bad. Or lie, you don't see the on-air or the things. And all of a sudden you get canceled, bro, by like so Do it live! Fuck it! Yeah, hot line. Do it live! Not nowadays, bro. Sabotage, bro. Alright, Uncle. ⁓ Today's ⁓ episode, today's show is Are Men Allowed to Be Depressed? T ⁓ O. Are we allowed to be depressed? In this very powerful episode of The Gentleman's Hour, ⁓ we're talking about something a lot of men deal with, but few actually talk about. I'm talking about The D. The big D. my. Not that chill, bro. You get all excited, huh bro? Who am I talking to? You or I talking to Desiree? You're talking to a freaking freaking thirteen year old. I'm talking about the big D depression, bro. it's not weakness, it's not failure, it's just being human, okay? Why do so many men feel the need to hide their you know, their daily struggles? ⁓ So hopefully you have a couple personal stories. I know I got a lot. so ⁓ let's let's just drop some some honest, honest, hopefully honest takes, ⁓ honest conversation about, you know, depression, mental health, finding support when ⁓ you know, life gets overwhelming. I know that happens for everybody. ⁓ and that's all next. Don't get all excited, but all next on a very deep Hmm, deep gentleman's hour. In all honesty, seriousness, and hopefully communicate communication, bro. Drop the intro. Never seen you so serious. Thank you. Well yeah, bro. I'm not gonna be joking around. Come on, dog. ⁓ now you won't. Even I know better than that. Good, because depression's a real thing. No, yeah, for sure. Of course. All right, Uncle. Uncle, let's start off with the first sip, brother. So ⁓ just kind of get like both of our like initial feelings on depression. When was the last time? You know, I'm gonna change it. When not when was the last time you When was the last time that you think you were depressed? Or maybe not fully depressed, but just, you know, kinda going through it sad. do you remember how long ago that was, what caused it, and how long did it last? So that's why I'm saying it doesn't have to necessarily be depression, maybe just like you got sad for a moment. When was the last time you let that feeling creep in? ⁓ you know what? Actually, ⁓ it would probably be the last like seven months, bro. ⁓ on and off. On and off. It's ⁓ It's not necessary depression. I I I didn't I didn't I didn't get that bad. ⁓ it was somewhat of a ⁓ kind of like a rut. And basically, you know what it was, bro? It was ⁓ my tío Erasmo passed at the end of last year. ⁓ yeah, yeah, yeah. ⁓ and then shortly after that, my my t Joaquin got sick and w we went up to see him and I think like on actually it was on Valentine's Day. I was up there on Valentine's Day in Salinas. And he passed a couple months after. And then we went to the service. And then ⁓ I think like a week after I got back, I went to my my my padrino service. So it was it you know what? ⁓ a lot of a lot of the stuff that I think I kind of deal with that emotionally wrecks me is is death. Death for sure. Anytime you deal with death, whether it's even if it's somebody who's not you're not very close to It just it it messes with me. And depending on on the relationship I have with the person, it messes with me more, you know what I mean? And that was kind of back and then I had a break and then a break and then it was like boom. It just started all over again. ⁓ so I'm gonna to me that does sound like depression. You know, I'm depressed, you know, it doesn't have to be well, I'm gonna read the definition real quick before that's what I was kinda looking over. I was trying to get the definition up. So it says online, of course, the depression is a common and serious mood disorder that causes persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, and a loss of interest in activity. So I think the main word there is persistent. Because maybe what you're saying is, well, no, because you said it did last month, huh? Cause I was going to say, well, maybe you're just sad in the moment, because death, of course, that doesn't necessarily mean you're depressed, but everybody gets sad up at death. But maybe that event kind of led to a little depression. Cause I The word I took out is persistent, like it doesn't go away. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, you get sad, your uncle died, maybe a couple days, and then it's like, okay, I'm, you know, back to Yeah, of course I'm I'm sad. I still remember him all that, but you're able to get back to like you feel normal again. You're, you know, there's no like lingering effects. Whereas persistent sadness means that like you can't get over it. Like it's three months later and you're like, I can't get out of bed, man. I'm still thinking about my uncle. And maybe maybe I'm not saying this was you, but maybe somebody had like ⁓ things they still needed to get on. Like there's no closure or something. And so it's like it's still in them and they can't get rid of it. So that's what I take depression as. But it's honestly like I don't know. It's hard to really define. But I'm gonna when that's what we're gonna try to jump in and let's let's see. Maybe one of us is currently depressed. Maybe we're both depressed. Maybe neither one of us are depressed. You know what I mean? Let's let's dig into it. Let's see what we happen. Let's see what happens. But for me, the last time was actually this past week. I know you texted me. You're like, Hey, what's up, bro? What's up? You okay or what? Or do I gotta jump over there with you know come over there and pull you out of the bathtub? Or what's wrong with you? I haven't heard from you, whatever. ⁓ I think it's a couple different things. I don't want to go back to that whole issue with my family all that drama, but I'm sure that part partially led to it. But primarily, and this happens to me all the time, ⁓ when my kids are gone for like extended s periods of time. So my daughters are now always gone. They'll come here and there, but so I've gotten used to it, but I still have had my son here. So last week they went on a cruise. And so that's the first time in a while, maybe last year, but that's the first time in a while that they've all you know, there's nobody here. And and it was on Father's Day. So I was just like, and it just happened to be that Desiree was out of town that week. And so I think a lot of it led to just I was just like kinda at home. The good thing is, bro, I was going crazy on some fast food. I was like, what do I want tonight? I mean, it was just me, bro. I could go downstairs and just sit there in my boxers and eat whatever. Hey, if ⁓ if my mom is watching this, turn this off real quick. Cut. I had McDonald's. I had some ⁓ some some dickle, which is what we call Wiener Schnitzel. I had ⁓ I had Burger King. You know the only thing I didn't have, babe, was ⁓ McDonald's breakfast. McDonald's breakfast, but bro, I went. I went buck wild. I felt like crap, but a part of that is what I do. Whenever I feel like I'm depressed, I just like I just want to eat and just sit on the couch. You think you're punishing yourself and feel bad. And I know because I slept, bro. I slept all Saturday and pretty much ⁓ Sunday I went and played golf. So that was good. It got me out the house. But then after golf, I came back home and I just fell back asleep. So I know that's when I know I'm depressed. I just I don't want to get out of bed. And I'm not even tired. I'm just like kind of laying there and my eyes are wide open. I'm just like, ⁓ I don't even want to. I don't want to get out of bed. I just close my eyes and fall back asleep. That's why I know when I'm semi depressed. But, anyways, that so that was my most recent. That was last week. My kids are still gone. And it's just like I think it was also Father's Day. I think it was just like Father's Day, you want to be with your kids. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's just like, ⁓ you know what I did one day too. It was like, I think it was Saturday. I went into my son's room. All for some reason, I don't know if somebody set me up. Normally all of my kids' doors are closed except for my son. Usually my daughter's rooms are closed and my son's is open. Every door to their room was wide open. So I walk in the hall, I just look in, I see my daughter's room empty. I look, my son's room empty. I look at my other daughter's room, why her door wide open, empty. I was just like, ⁓ man. And for some reason I just walked into my son's room and I just laid in his bed. Weird, right? I just like laid down. I was like kind of like a little maybe I was depressed, tired, or whatever. I just kinda like laid in his bed and I was just like, ⁓ I feel I felt like a weird comfort. And then before you knew it, I was I fell asleep. I woke up, it was like eleven at night. I'm like, ⁓ Like what? Where you know that kind of day, that feeling where you're just like you didn't do anything, you just slept, you feel like crap. And I remember I was like, ⁓ I'm gonna go take a shower. Cause I had a golf the next morning, so I'm like, I gotta snap out of this where I went to the shower and and like watch some TV. But for me, I know it's when I when I'm like home alone, I don't have my kids, I go, I can go through and especially Father's Day. So that that one hit me hard. But ⁓ anyways, okay, so those were our kind of our first little examples of most recently being upset, sad, depressed. ⁓ let's talk ⁓ Uncle, let's talk childhood. as a kid, do you think you went through any kind of depression or was it just typical sadness? What do you remember from ⁓ childhood, like your first memories of being sad or whatever? I don't I I I wouldn't say I was a a sad kid. I don't ever remember really being sad or or For sure I don't remember being depressed. I don't know if if maybe as a child you kinda can't you can't be depressed or it's not very common. But ⁓ yeah, I don't remember being sad. I think you know what I do remember? I think I got I got dumped, bro, like in I think it was third or fourth grade. Damn. And I remember I remember I I remember I got I so I get I get dumped, right? And when it happened in school, I was like, Man, I don't care. Like I mean, we weren't doing anything, it was just like a title. I think I made why'd she why'd she dump you for cheating or what? Nah, she dumped me for some other dude, bro. ⁓ another filthy P came along, huh? Yeah, pretty much, bro. Yeah. Like just stepped in and grabbed the reins and took over and like pushed me off the horse. I I remember like from from the little bit that I remember. I remember we we we we had a title. I think I held her hand a few times. I might have gotten like a little peck. Right? Like a little peck, like nothing nothing too crazy. Yeah. And then everybody knew, like, ⁓ you know, so and so, they're they're their boyfriend girlfriend. ⁓ Yeah. And so like it was kind of the thing. But No, I'd say, Yeah, you I'm surprised you weren't already engaged. I'm not you, bro. So so then I got I get I get dumped and she's like, You what? I don't wanna be your boyfriend. I don't I don't want you to be my boyfriend anymore. I I'm I have another boyfriend and I was like I don't care, man. Whatever. Like, you're so set off my back. And then I remember I I walked home, right? And I'm walking and you know, I'm kind of thinking about it. Like, ⁓ that kind of sucks. And man, forget that guy. Whatever. It is what it is. And I remember being in my backyard, bro. Like, I think I went outside I had a dog at the time. And I think I was outside with the dog. And I just I felt sad, bro. I was like, damn, man. And I don't know if it was because I got dumped. The way I got dumped. Or because just rejection, bro, like I don't know if or maybe a mixture of all three. Because you know I I didn't have time to process it until I walked home. And then I go to the back and I'm just chilling with the dog, like I think I was just probably throwing the ball around or whatever. And I'm like, dude, this this freaking sucks. Like like I got rejected. What am I gonna do tomorrow? It's embarrassing. And like I said, we didn't we weren't serious or anything, it's just you know, just I guess our rejection or the the feeling of being rejected, I don't know. Hey, you got her ⁓ her IG, can I check her out or? I don't know what happened to her. You know what? Her dad was in the army? No, this chick that dumped Louie, I just want to see what she looks like. Back like 35 years ago. She thought I was trying to slide in. ⁓ she's in the army? No, her dad was. ⁓ she she like bounced. She like left. ⁓ okay, okay. Okay. ⁓ well, first off, that's crazy. And you wanna know why I know that's crazy story? Because you said you went into the backyard and played with your dog. You hate dogs, bro. You told me you No, I love dogs. You just told me offline we were talking about I said, Why don't you have any dogs? You said I hate effing dogs, bro. No, I I hate dogs. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but then you I also said, Well, how p how come why don't you have a dog, bro? And you're like, 'Cause I hate ⁓ and Laura hates Whatever. No They follow her around when she's cooking. Yes, bro. Hey. Hey, 'cause I never met anyone that hates dogs. That's like saying I hate dogs. I love dogs. Like who hates dogs? All right, let's move on. I love dogs, but it's too much of responsibility right now. I was getting depressed just hearing that you hate dogs. That's damn sad. Okay. ⁓ for me, I don't know, bro, because I don't even know what to pre I would get sad if I didn't like, you know, like, hey, Monk, I get the new Optimus Prime Transformer. No, you know, you you get you're I hate you. You're a D student. You don't love me. I would be it I would be in a room like you deserve anything. I would be in the room sad and crying. So was that depressed? No, that was just being a spoiled brat. I didn't get what I wanted, so I was sad. So depression, I don't you're right, bro. As a kid, I I I'm not gonna say 'cause that's that's ignorant to say kids don't yeah, or insensitive that kids don't get depressed. I know there there's a lot of kids that go through depression. I'm just saying for me, I don't see how I could have ever gotten s like been depressed because there's just you're a kid, you're free, there's things to do, you're playing, you're you're quickly able to just kind of jump into a whole new you know what mean? Like I remember having issues with I don't remember getting dumped by a chick that early because guess what? I wasn't running them streets yet. I was trying I was trying to creep but I wasn't there yet. You were ahead of your time, Unc putting in the third grade. Third grade putting ⁓ in work like that. And then I had a price bell for like twelve years. Hey, I'll I'll but one day I'll tell you about that too. I I did the same thing. I broke up with a chick thinking I about to run run trains everywhere. Not like that, but I mean, you know, just be like be like a locomotive unstoppable with the movies. Not to stop the train. Nothing, bro. I went I went dry. I went I went ⁓ I went X marks the spot dead. Yeah. Put little X's on my eyes, bro. I was done. Anyways, that made me depressed. How about this? A serious little side question. Do you think not getting Not having a woman in your life can lead you to depression. Like not being able to ⁓ fulfill your manly duties, do you think that could lead to depression? This is this is my disclaimer and this is my opinion. Yeah. And my opinion only. I I I am not a professional of of anything, especially not this subject. But I will say this. This is this isn't like I said, this is my opinion, my opinion only. Okay. I think it all depends on the person. I think I think something that might make you depressed or might bring you sadness or might make you lonely, whatever, might not be the same level to somebody else. There's some people I feel like there's some people that that that could be because they might feel like, well, I'm like hopelessness, like I'm not gonna Yeah. There's no solution to this problem. Yeah. And then there's some people that are, you know, like they're gonna they're gonna say, Okay, well, now I'm gonna go try harder. I'm gonna put myself out there. I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna try that. Right. I mean it it all depends on the person that that you are, you know what I mean? Okay. That makes sense. That makes sense. But can you admit this? That there's nothing that can help snap you out of depression like the warm, soft touch of a woman of a woman of woman that you that you care for. You don't think that ⁓ Yeah, or ⁓ or how about a a nice hug where you just rest your head on her, she smells good and you don't think that'll snap you out of a little a little depression. But man, that's the same that's the same thing, bro. It depends on who you are. You if you if you if you're like, damn man, I can't I can't get I can't pick up on a girl. Yeah. And then you pick up on a girl and you're kinda like, Man, now I want to pick up on another girl. That might give you on a different different route. Okay, you're thinking what I'm thinking. You're thinking what I'm thinking, yeah. ⁓ wait, what happened? ⁓ I'm saying if you pick up on a girl and you're back, whatever, but I want another one. Yeah, you go back, right? And you get another one. Okay. And then you pick up on another one. Now you're now you're overwhelmed. Now you're drowning in it. Yeah, it's a young man's air. Yeah, no, no, it can. Maybe I'm just, you know, maybe I'm just man man meat. Yeah, it takes the fun out of it too. There's so many different angles to it, bro. It's crazy. Yeah. No, I I mean the the moral of the story is be careful if you want to slang it around. I think that's what you were that's what you were basically saying. All right, all right. Be careful with anything. Yeah. moderation. Moderation, bro. Okay. If you did as a kid, ⁓ feel like ⁓ you know what I I feel upset or I'm not feeling good. As a kid, did you have anybody else to reach out to? Maybe fellow friends, family, parents, or did you kind of keep your shit to yourself, your stuff to yourself? I think as a kid, for sure, it was it wasn't it wasn't spoken about. I don't I don't I I wish I knew the first time I heard the word depression. ⁓ I would kinda want to know how old I was, how did I hear it? Where did I hear it? Why did I hear it? But yeah, as a kid, I mean me personally, I didn't I didn't really have anybody to talk to. And I don't know if it's because it wasn't available to me or it wasn't presented to me as that. Like I said, I had my mom, my dad, my sister. Right. They were they were in house. My sister left the college and then ⁓ she moved out at a certain point. But I I mean, I always had contact with them. I've had plenty of people. I had friends, I have ⁓ cousins, male, female that were that were around that I'm sure I could have voiced something, but at a certain point I just I didn't I didn't I don't think I felt the need. I kind of felt I'm I'm I'm still kinda like that. I don't necessarily voice certain like needs, certain desires, certain wants. I don't I don't voice that. And why though? W can I cut in? Why? Do you feel like it makes you weak or You just don't want to bottle people. Like I don't I don't want to put my my issues on somebody else. I you know what? I think I think it's more that. I think it's more I don't want to burden people with my pride. Right, right. And I think because obviously you know that I'm I'm okay with being vulnerable. I have no problem. I will tell you stuff that I've never told anybody. I've told like the story about getting dumped. There's probably a handful of people on this planet that have heard that story. At the time, nobody heard it. I never voiced it to anybody. I never said, Hey, I just got dumped. Can I talk? I just dealt with it. You know, and and most of the time it's it's that it's that burden. And and I and I tend to feel like like people have enough on their plate, they don't need to hear my stuff. But on the contrary, I have no problem with listening to anybody. Right, right. You know what I mean? You hit me up, hey bro, like if you would hit me up last weekend, I would have listened to whatever you had to say. I have no problem. If if if anybody has anything that they ⁓ ever want to I there's guys at work that talk to me about relationships, about their kids, about this. And I think I'm a good ear. I don't always give the best advice. I don't always try to give advice. I'm not I try not to preach, but I'm always a good ear. Like, ⁓ shit. And then I'll I'll ask you follow up questions on certain things. And then certain things I don't need to know because it might be personal. You know what I mean? But do you do you like do you like to hear or you're just hey I'm willing to help or whatever. Or do you actually like I I like to hear I like to hear stories. I like to hear because like I said, I'm a I'm a good ear. A lot of people talk to me. People people at work. People that I've worked before that still reach out to me from, you know, other areas that I've worked in. Like there's so many people and they just kinda talk to me and they they'll just, you know, randomly hit me up. Hey, blah, blah, blah. How are the kids? How blah blah and then cool. And then I'll ask ⁓ and then they'll start talking or whatever. So I I don't have a problem listening. I do have a problem sharing though. As as far as like Unless somebody directly asks me, like, hey, are you okay? ⁓ well, you know what, this and that. If you have the time to sit down. Sit down for a moment. Yeah, let me pull up. Pull up a chair. Pull up a chair and then we'll talk. You know what I mean? But for the most part, yeah, no, I try to I'm trying like I said, I feel like people have enough on their plate, bro, and they don't need they don't need me to tell them anything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I kind of feel the same too. I feel like I don't have a problem telling you, and then I just told you what like why I was depressed. So I don't have a problem doing that either. But initially when I'm going through it, same thing. I don't want to really reach out and I don't know why. I d partially probably because I don't want to bother anybody. And partially because some of the times in the very beginning of it, when I'm feeling stuff, I don't even really know what it is. And I'm kind of like, I don't even know what's going on until I figure it out. Then I'm like, hey, that's why I tell you. Like, I I think it's I did I know now it was because of the kids were gone. I went in their room, all that. But prior to that, I was trying to figure out like what's wrong? Why why am I eating fast food and just sleeping? Why don't I feel like what's going on? Where did I get the six piece? ⁓ that's the only thing I didn't go to was ⁓ Chick-fil-A. They were closed on Sunday. I drove around for hours and I couldn't find them. okay, well actually, okay, well, this is kind of the same, but how how did you feel about talking to your parents either together, individually, when you were feeling upset? Was that a no go? Did you do it a lot? Well what's the word? That was a a a no go. At all, at all? Yeah, I know. My I guess that from my memory, my parents engaged with me obviously on a daily basis about the basics. Make sure, you know, get ready, get up, gotta go to school, came home from school, make sure you do your homework. stuff like that. But as far as any kind of emotional or any kind of what would be the word. Any and like there was no There was no communication as far as anything that was going on with me emotionally. Uh-huh. Maybe physically every now and then if they notice, like, hey, you're limping, what's going on? Or you know what I mean? ⁓ I fell out of a tree or whatever. Like stuff like that, they would notice obviously, you know, yeah. 'Cause 'cause they can see it. But if it wasn't visual, it wasn't addressed, basically. Okay. So unless I was like they walk into my room and I'm crying or they come I come out and my eyes are all red and you know what I mean? They're gonna ask me, but if If I didn't show it, they weren't addressing it. So ⁓ how old were you when your sister left ⁓ to go to college? I was twelve. Was there sadness there? 'Cause that was kinda like, you know, she was You know what? There was because she left for ⁓ for I think the first year. ⁓ huh. That she wanna go live in the dorms I ⁓ at UCLA. And it was it was weird because Like we would like my one of my sisters, my sister Amiga, the one that lives in Sacramento now, she would drive her car and we would roll every like Saturday morning. We'd go to UCLA and then we'd pick her up. Right? And then she'd come home. And then at the time the guy she was dating would take her back on Sunday. But it was kinda like, bro, I was like she was leaving every week and I'm like, ⁓ you're back. ⁓ now you're leaving. Now I'm kinda sad. Like it was weird. Like the same thing, kinda like Like where her room would be open and I would walk by it 'cause my room was next to hers. ⁓ and I was kinda like, ⁓ all right. And then her car's there, but she's not you know, sh nobody she's not driving it. That's crazy. You know, so stuff like that, you kinda you kinda felt it, but yeah. I mean, I never told her like, Hey, I miss you, like don't leave. Yeah, yeah. You know, but I kinda knew she's gonna come back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That that's that's kinda weird because she's fully in at UCLA, but UCLA's not that far. Like it's not like you Can't just come home real quick. You what I mean? Like, ⁓ hey, you want to meet us for dinner? Yeah, yeah, I'll be there in a little. You know what I mean? It's like that's kind of a word, but you're right. You walk by a room and it's not that everyday presence of knowing like I know my I look in there, my sister's gonna be like, Hey, shut the door. Get out of here. Get out of here, Uncle Louie. All right. ⁓ Uncle Louis. It'd be like Brother Louie. All right, ⁓ All right, let's do a little another little, I don't know where this came up, temperature check. I guess kind of get the feeling. ⁓ all right. Have you gone through any of these? Because I guess these are signs of depression. Have you gone through any of these? ⁓ suddenly losing interest in hobbies or things you used to love to do? ⁓ I I wouldn't say I I lost, but I did my like I used to like to draw a lot. ⁓ then at a certain point, like. I just I I think I picked up a pen a pen and a paper and I started like sketching something and I was like this kind of sucks and I threw it away and I was like So I kinda lost it for that. Like I know right now the passion for for drawing isn't what it used to be. ⁓ I try every now and then to pick up stuff and it just it's not it's not there, but I don't I don't know if that would be because I'm depressed, but yeah. But what do you think maybe like You felt like you weren't good. And so that kind of like, ⁓ now that made me sad and now like now you associate like I'm just not good with that. I don't care. You know what I mean? Was it that? I no, I just I just lost why would you just lost the or interest? The passion for it. I think because life got so busy and I just I don't really have time for it. And it's like instead of drawing, I'm gonna do something else. Okay. Maybe I'm gonna play, you know, Call of Duty or maybe I'm gonna go wash my truck or something. Right, right. Okay. Yeah. ⁓ what about this? ⁓ for me, I don't think ⁓ 'cause I I feel like I get depressed a lot and I don't really lose interest in my hobbies though. Like look at I was this is probably the most depressed I've been this past week in a long time. In a long time. But yet Sunday morning I was out there golfing, bro. I was out there shooting an eighty three, homie. Distracted homeboy. Taking money and having a good time and talking S and you know, hitting bombs and making putts. You know what I'm saying? So it's like weird. I don't When I'm depressed, it doesn't necessarily mean I don't wanna I won't do the stuff I normally like to do. Maybe I won't answer the call as much when people are like, hey, let's go do this. Like, I'm just not feeling it. But I definitely don't let it like stop me from doing what I'm doing. ⁓ although it did affect me last week. I didn't put out the quickie episode. You saw that, right? I didn't put that one out. I never even looked at it. I don't even know why. For some reason I don't even want to like look at that episode. I don't know. I didn't do anything with it. I just like I haven't even opened it just sitting here on the Maybe one day I'll jump into it, see what we talked about. What is that? It'll be ⁓ It'll be on the D V D. It'll be an extra on the D V D Yeah, the un the unreal Remember when remember back in the day when you get like D V D sets and there'd be like unreleased scenes or something like that? Like, for real? Yeah, like what that's crazy. ⁓ but anyway, so yeah. So for me, I d I I'm still I don't really give up my hobbies or lose interest like that. What about Do you have you noticed that you've ever isolated yourself for a period of time from friends and family because you were, you know, feeling upset or depressed? No. I mean, not not not by choice. I mean, there's been times where like when I was single, where there was I just I think the only person I would talk to was like maybe my mom, maybe my sister from like through text. And some, you know, I had I had certain buddies that I was hanging out at the time with that. You know, they would kind of but they were like they were just coming through just to, you know, hang out. It wasn't like it wasn't like, ⁓ how are you? ⁓ I'm doing good and blah blah blah. Like so I mean again, like not by not by choice, but yeah, maybe like that. ⁓ do you feel like now because typically if I'm not in a good mood, yeah, I do want to kind of isolate myself. ⁓ but I never want to isolate myself from like people in this ha ⁓ like actual house. I'm talking about when my kids all used to be here and stuff. Like if I was sad. I didn't want to isolate from them. I wanted to be around them more. Yeah, they distract you, bro. Right. Or they they pull me out of it almost. Unless, of course, they were the reason I was upset. Then it was like, all right, I need some time away. But no, I they help pull me back in. Same thing now with Desiree. Like if she's here, okay, cool. Like I don't I'm never as sad, sad, because I know she's here and we'll start talking about some other stuff or she'll start acting up or, you know, pulling her antics. So that kind of pulls me out of whatever depression. I think you're right may maybe like if you have something else to focus on, it can kind of take away from, you know, and sometimes tight friends and family can do that for you. Yeah, I don't I don't like being alone. I w especially like ⁓ yeah like that. If I feel like I'm going through like a rut or I'm not I'm not feeling myself, I don't I do not like to be alone. I yeah, a hundred percent would rather be around my kids. doing stuff they like, maybe going outside or whatever. Or just even watching like a show they like. Like stuff like that. really really makes me happy. Yeah. And I I used to have a saying, ⁓ something I I don't really remember exactly how I used to say it, but it was like an idle mind is a scary mind, bro. Idle mind. ⁓ yeah, yeah. Because it's just kind of it's just there. And if you don't if you don't find productive ways to stay busy, all you can do is dwell on the on on whatever's consuming you at the moment, bro. You know what though? That saying sounds like a grandma ish saying or like a saying from the 50. You know what I mean? Like, ⁓ yeah, I an idol mind is a dead. You what I mean? Like an old old ass. It sounds like an old ass saying, but it it does hit. You're right. Keep your mind busy. You know what I Keep your mind busy. That's why they say after you retire and all that, you gotta still do stuff. You gotta still get up. You gotta still keep your mind keep your mind working. ⁓ okay. What about this? Being uncharacteristically irritable or angry. Have you gone through that? yeah, but I'm kind of a grouch by nature, bro. I'm kinda cranky. ⁓ okay. So it's I don't I don't like I said, I don't think there's a certain thing that that ⁓ that it affects it or or brings it out. But I mean Yeah, there's some times where I am crankier, I am moodier, but sometimes it's like, you know, I'm just I'm in a having a bad day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it sounds like it's just it'll fall in that your normal range anyways of your normal range is right here. So maybe you're a little bit outside of it, but Yeah, so to it doesn't it doesn't register. I don't I'm like, ⁓ I'm just having a bad day. I'm you know, whatever. What about this? have you had the feeling of just your whole inside just feels numb? No. Like what would that be? Like no feelings? Like I can't ex I don't I can't experience happiness, sat like I just feel numb, like dead inside? Yeah, like maybe, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. That's that makes sense. That's crazy, bro. Yeah, no, I've never felt that. Yeah, I don't think I don't think I have felt that feel like I would have remembered that. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Like you you you don't you don't in you you can't feel happy, you can't feel sad. Yeah. You just feel nothing like a void. Yeah, a void. Damn, that's something like Dexter-ish, bro. Have you ever seen Dexter? You should watch it. how about this? And I know this. This one is like for me, this is like my how you said, like, yeah, it's hard to tell because I'm always a little cranky sleeping way too much. Because for me, bro, I'll I'll fall asleep right now. You know what I mean? Every once in a while I I pull a trump right here on the show. But so for me, it's hard because I I'm a naturally late, like I love, bro. Nothing more in life I love than a nap where you got like a a ⁓ Saturday afternoon nap where you have nothing on the schedule. Like I can go to bed for an hour, I can go bed for eight hours, I can go to bed for three days. It don't matter. There's nothing. This schedule is cleared. And I know I just get to sleep. ⁓ and you wake up a little, turn over, you're like, ⁓ yeah, it's still it's still dark. Fall back and stuff ⁓ no, those are that that is that's ⁓ to me pure bliss. So So since I love to sleep so much, sometimes it's hard to tell when like, ⁓ wait, and no, actually I'm sleeping because I'm depressed, not because I want to. What about you? Have you ever gone through that with the too much excessive sleeping? ⁓ you know what? That's also weird for me because I love to sleep. I love it. Absolutely I mean, I can take a nap any time of day, pretty much anywhere, bro. Like Hell yeah. Call me up, bro. I'll come over. I'll bring my own some I'll bring my own pillowcase. A little snuggy. Let's get down, bro. I mean, I literally dude, I I can sleep I can literally take a nap, wake up, brush my teeth, and go back to sleep. Like I have no problem. Yeah. ⁓ yeah. So to me that that that is that is normal, but it's not because also my schedule doesn't allow it. So I can't, you know, I can't just nap whenever I want. ⁓ And then sometimes I I I do make the mistake where like I I'm like I'm gonna go to sleep early because I wanna go to sleep, right? Boom. And then I'll go lay in bed at like nine thirty. Damn. And next you know it's like, let me get on TikTok sweat 'cause I'm not sleepy anymore. ⁓ don't do it. Don't do it. It's like, ⁓ snap, it's eleven fifteen. Where the hell, right? ⁓ I thought you were to say it was like eight AM in the morning, Mr. Speaker. Eight AM I'm late for work. ⁓ Yeah, so then it's like, dude, I just wasted an hour and a half with that. I could have been sleeping, but Yeah, yeah. But to me, I mean, I don't think I've done it. Maybe well did I want to? ⁓ yeah, for sure. But I I like I said, I love sleep. Okay. That's like me. Yeah. Hey bro, I'll sometimes I'll go have a monster, you know, energy drink and I'll drink that sucker like a like a baby, like a bottle just before bed, and I'll I'll still go to sleep. Desert's like, how do you go to I can drink co she'll sometimes in the morning bring me coffee? ⁓ thanks, babe. You know that perfect ⁓ fresh brewed coffee just hits you. You're like, ⁓ I feel good. I can literally drink a whole cup of coffee and then like, ⁓ I'm gonna go back to sleep for like half an hour and go right back to bed. Like, I don't know. Nothing works on me, brother. Nothing works on me. You're immune to it. ⁓ I'm immune, bro. I'm immune. okay, how about this? Increased drinking or substance abuse. So like, you know, well I know we all like to partake in a little alcohol, a little drink, a little fun, but Have you ever noticed that, like, man, I'm just not feeling good and I notice I'm just I wanna get just I'm drinking way more than I should. You know what I mean? Like you it's abnormal. It's a Saturday night, huh? No. Or is it not? Yeah, to me, like I said, that's another thing. ⁓ I don't think I've ever drank to numb myself. But I do, I mean, I some there is times where I will say I I drink for the effect because Just, you know, feels good. But yeah, I mean, I don't I'm not drinking at work. I'm not drinking during the day. I'm not skipping meals to drink. Right. Right, right, right. I I don't know. Call it what you want. You have you you feel in control. ⁓ yeah, for the most part. Okay, this is the last one for this temperature check. Have ⁓ you ever simply thought like, yeah, I know I'm depressed right now or I know I'm maybe in a funk or whatever, rather than try to like address it and fix it, whatever the issue is. ⁓ do you just try to like, ⁓ I'm just gonna ignore it. Eventually I know I'll just push through. Even though you might be extending it, but it's like, yeah, this is what I do. I'll I'll just push through. Or do you like ad I need to fix this 'cause I don't like this? I think yeah, I think I've I've probably talked myself through it and just pushed through. I'm sure I'm sure I didn't I didn't a hundred percent resolve it. I'm sure a hundred percent it didn't go away. And ⁓ Yeah, I mean thankfully it it it i like I said, it's it's it's not something that that happens all the time. But also I I do I do try to look at the positive, I guess, and just try to push through and make things better for for me. And sometimes, you know, it's like I said, I know a hundred per s I know it hasn't been resolved a hundred percent, but hey, cl close is good enough. Good. Perfect answer. What do you think about me though for this? ⁓ so like you know, I just told you I was going through depression this past weekend, right? Guess what snapped me out of it? Two things. Like X-rayed it or ⁓ damn. Hey. Time for that drop, babe. Cochino. Cochino. Well, yeah, all right. You're I guess you know me better than I know myself. Yeah. Desiree helped with a little something that got me going physically. But then also, she surprised me with a Father's Day gift, some meta glasses, bro. And so like that genuinely, I think, brought me out of my So does that mean I'm just a ⁓ materialistic or Yeah, that's a word ⁓ you misnailed it. That's a word I looking for. I'm just a material like I I'm just materialistic and meta glasses means more than being sad about my kids being gone on Father's Day. So like maybe I got a real problem. What do you think? Or do you think it's just like ⁓ no, you were coming out of it anyways? No, I think you know what I think it is? I think it's a distraction. There you go. And once you're distracted, your your mind doesn't doesn't think about that anymore. And you're thinking, ⁓ you know what? Let me let me play with these glasses. ⁓ I like this. Let me go, let me go put them on and run around the backyard and see where my boy Max is. You know what I mean? Yeah. Hey, you know what I'm thinking about? Max. Nah. No, no, don't say it, bro. Me and D, me and D put them to use, bro. With those glasses. Ooh, I'm gonna start sending you guys some POVs. This show's about to get this show's about to go next level, honey. To the moon. All right. Uncle, come on, bro. Stop playing around, bro. So This is a serious topic. Please treat it treat it as such. Uncle Louie's favorite segment, rapid fire. All right. Pick one, Uncle, real quick. Exercise or therapy? Therapy. For me, I'm going to say exercise because I've never done therapy. But I I wanted to do therapy, homes. Yeah, I probably would get yeah. I I probably once I do it, I feel like it'll start flowing, bro, like just everywhere, all over. But I feel at first I'm gonna be like, ⁓ All right, talk it out when you're going through your feelings. Talk it out or write it down. That's a tough one. For me, I'm gonna say talk it out. Yeah, I'm gonna say talk it out. But my mom texted me over this week and I think she also she has a little sixth sense. She f felt that I was like depressed or something because she was like, I think she told me or told Desre, like, have Paul write his feelings out. I'm like, I can't barely barely write. I could barely write in school. I can't write now. I'd write like one sentence, be Man, this is too much work, bro. So I I say talk it out. I can't write anymore. How about this? Reach out or deal with your issues alone. Reach This is hard. For me, I'm gonna say recount. Thank you. Hey, bro, you remember the game we were just talking about last on the last episode, right? What game were we talking about? Video game. ⁓ Contra Castlevania. Contra, bro. Contra. Hey. How do you feel when you you know when you're the blue guy and you got your little red partner with you? How do you feel? You know, sometimes it's like, hey, it's hard to beat that game solo, bro. I I'm not gonna lie, I've done it, but I'm saying it's hard. But if I know I got too bad, Uncle with me, I know I got uncle with me right here. As long as you, A, you better not be the type though to steal all the good weapons. You gotta go back and forth. Don't just try to grab everything. Hey, but I get for the laser. If you see spread, you gotta leave that for me because I do the most damage. All right, Uncle. ⁓ what do you think, huh? What do you think is the biggest misconception about depression? ⁓ that it's just sadness and you'll get over it eventually. Perf ⁓ dang. Uncle Louie firing all cylinders and perfect rapid fire. Okay. One thing that you would like to hear whenever you're struggling. Just a check in, bro, like a like a like a like a like a hey, how's it how's everything? ⁓ well. Good. Really? Just cause is there anything you want to talk about? Well actually, now that you bring that up, yeah, I I would like to talk about this, this and this. Yeah. It's hard though. Yeah, it's hard, but you're right. It does feel good. Even if Like you reach out, hey bro, are you okay? What's up? Or wellness check, whatever. But like even though I was like, Yeah, I'm not I'm not I wasn't gonna get all crazy into it 'cause I was already starting to come down out of it anyways. But it does feel good to like it makes you think people are like, Hey, I I you know, I I recognize that there's something up and like it it kind of shows that like, hey, I care about you, bro. Like I do, you know, I wanna make sure you even if we don't get into it, it's like, ⁓ cool, man. That's that's a good like I probably would never use it because, you know, whatever, but I appreciate it, huh? I guess I don't know, but hey, I'm the big buck, bro. I'm the big buck. Come on, bro. I can't start limping and then a tiger gets me or a lion. Come on, man. All right. Lions or tigers or there's bucks? What? Is it like a brown bear? Don't they eat? Isn't that a deer? A buck? Yeah, there's no deers in Africa. ⁓ that's like forests. Forest is yeah, I'm like, no, because I'm a buck, bro. And impolly buck you see me without my shirt on, bro. I'm all buck, not gazelle. All right. Do you think medication can help fight depression or does it just mask it? ⁓ I'm not a doctor, so I'm gonna say I hope it can help. I hope it doesn't mask it. I hope it can help truly get somebody the help that they need and the attention that needs to be addressed. But Yeah, see I'm the I'm the same way. I I've never du taken it. I don't know anybody really that's that's I mean, I'm sure I d have, but I they maybe haven't told me. But ⁓ I don't know. It's kinda to me it's kinda scary 'cause it's like but I guess it is a chemical imbalance, huh? They say when you're yeah, you know what? Guess what? I'm gonna go ahead and plead the fifth two. I'm not a doctor. I'm a doctor of love. I'm a doctor of romance, but I'm not a ⁓ official You're not a doctor of love, bro. Come on. No more. You're very nurse. I'm ⁓ R N no, what is it? A candy striper. ⁓ can volunteer? ⁓ is that what they are? Volunteers? The candy c candy striper? Candy striper, right? ⁓ can you sense when someone is going ⁓ yeah, you can because you hit me up. Can you sense it when someone's going through it and needs help? Like do you have a good sense of like ⁓ I can read people, I can teach I you know what? I will say this. I think I I'm gonna say I I do. Even though I've never been told until now that you're saying it. ⁓ like I said, I I felt something was off with you and and ⁓ you were just quiet. Like you were just randomly like I wasn't seeing you on on Facebook or Instagram. There was no post, there was nothing. And then I obviously I I do know the backstory of of what we're dealing with and I know that that's that's very trying because of the parties involved. You know what I mean? ⁓ I don't know the ins and outs of all that. ⁓ I do know it certain things factor in. but I I tend to I tend to kind of I try to see big picture with anybody that I interact with. And There's guys at work that I'll see them and say, hey, what's up? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they'll sit and they'll they'll literally we'll be in the yard and shake hands, boom, boom, boom. And I will the first thing I do is I always try to crack a joke. Yeah. Sometimes, sometimes you can tell they're not as receptive or they're like, ⁓ they just laugh and like they're keep walking. Yeah. And it's like, okay, something's up. Hey, what's up, bro? You good? Like, there's one homeboy that, like, literally I'll call him and I'll be like, hey, bro, you good? I saw you. You were kind of No, no, no, it's just, you know, blah, blah, blah. Woo, woo. And sometimes it's like little shit, bro. Like, ⁓ I'm I'm fucking swamped at work and yeah, you they're they're hitting me up this or that. You know what I mean? Or like yeah, I'll have people that I used to talk to a lot, and like I said, life got busy and I'll just randomly text them. Hey bro, what's up? Everything cool? How's everything? How the kids? How's the wife? ⁓ we're good, blah, blah, blah. And just to kind of let ⁓ know, bro, like I I haven't forgotten about ⁓ Yeah. And You know, I don't feel like anybody's forgotten about me. I just I understand that life is busy, especially when you have kids, you have a wife, you have jobs, you have a house, you have there's so many things that factor in and if if you don't understand that, you're probably gonna be like left out a little bit because Yeah. Like I'm not doing it on purpose. Like I like I s like I I've been I've been so busy this last time last couple years and like the little free time that I do have I don't necessarily want to do certain things. You know, or I wanna dedicate it to going out to dinner with ⁓ you know, with Laura or you know. Whatever. You know, but yeah. So I I think I d I feel like I do have that and I feel like like I'm I'm easy to talk to. And I hope anybody knows that they can hit me up and I'll listen. Like trust me, I'll listen. I'll never judge you, I'll never try to give you number my opinion unless you want it. I'm not gonna try to solve your problem because sometimes I think you just need a voice. You are a real true uncle. Like, you know what I mean? You are you do you do belong on full house, bro? Like, you know what I mean? Kick that uncle. Guess you I gotta go to Uncle Lily for advice. Yo, yeah, bro. Yeah, that that is ⁓ that is true. You're very ⁓ perceptive. I I gotta get better at that. Cause sometimes I notice it, I'll might notice something or get a little hint, and then I just kinda like, ⁓ nah. If there's something going on, they'll tell me or whatever, instead of like Going with my gut intuition is like, hey, just reach out. Cause it did feel good when you were like, hey bro, you everything good? And I was just like, ⁓ shit. I'm like, why I like why is Louie thinking everything? You know, I like kind of like, ⁓ and then when and then I started thinking, Yeah, you're right. I haven't posted anything, I haven't said anything, I haven't yeah. So all right, bro, that's a that's a good ⁓ that's a good attribute. That's a good ⁓ God how come I can't think of damn words anymore. Hey, chill out, bro. But you know what I'm saying. That's a good like characteristic. Quality to have. ⁓ all right. What approach should we take when dealing with depression in kids? I don't know why this isn't rapid fire, but what approach? I mean, I think just yeah ⁓ communication, yeah, openness, and not necessarily understanding, but giving them a foundation, giving them a ⁓ comfort that you're trying to help. Right, right, right, right, right. That you're there. Like you know how you know how we were saying like like as a kid I wasn't I wasn't depressed, or I don't think I was depressed. And you kind of feel like, ⁓ man, like as a kid you shouldn't be depressed. But also you have to factor in, bro, these kids deal with so much more than we do. Yeah. Yeah. Like I remember like I I think I told you like the whole like the whole Richard Ramirez thing. Like I remember hearing it on the news, right? That's just the news. Now, bro, there's social media, there's friends that talk because they have social media. Right. It doesn't matter. You can limit your kid to screen time. You can limit it to whatever happened. But there's parents that don't. And they talk to these kids, you know, they talk to kids. Right. There's school shootings, bro. How how terrifying is that to know that there's school shootings and you're in school? Yeah. You know what I mean? So that all that factors in. And if you can't understand that for a child's like well being and their health and all that, like you have to try to like ease it up, bro. Like comfort comfort them. Yeah. Yeah. Be there be there for what they need. Right. You know what I mean? It's it's scary, bro. It's it's it's tough. It's scary, yeah, yeah. It's scary. I don't even want to think I couldn't I don't even want to imagine one of my kids being like really depressed. You know what I mean? Like and not being able like being helpless, not being able to help. Like I don't know what to I can't I can because I can take you to the movies. I can take you to the park. I can Get you more dogs, but it's like none of that works when someone's truly, truly depressed. That is scary. I I would never wanna have to deal with that with my kids, either either ⁓ depression or drug abuse. It just it seems it just seems hard. But ⁓ anyways, okay. Would you rather suffer in silence or let it well, we kinda know this now, or let it be known how you're feeling. I think I would s I would suffer in silence probably. I wouldn't want to. But like I said, I don't wanna be a burden. I'm not trying to Yeah. Trouble people with my problems. Exactly. It feels easier just to deal with it yourself. does social media play any part in a person being depressed? ⁓ yeah, for sure. Yeah, right. Because like people seeing and comparing yourself and ⁓ look at these. ⁓ they are hanging. Yeah, I I think that how you were saying before, like when we were kids, we didn't see all that. So we didn't know what I didn't know what was going on with kids in Oklahoma or kids in Florida or my age, what are they doing? Because you're just All all you see is the kids on your block. All of a sudden now it's like you see all these kids are my age and they're taking trips to Europe and they're doing this and you see everybody from all over the world. And so now you're comparing yourself. So yeah, I could see that leading to depression or leading to jealousy, stuff like that. ⁓ okay. Is this true? 'Cause for me, I have my own answer. Is it true or is it a myth that really, really good sexual relations can instantly end any man's depression. See or no. ⁓ I don't know, bro. It like it depends. It depends on it depends on the person. I mean for some it might. Some it might be the highlight of their freaking day of their week. For some it might it might not be enough. You know what I mean? Like, ⁓ that's it. That's it. What is shit, what do you want? A threesome? What do you that's what I'm saying? Like exactly. What if that's what they want and they can't get it? I can't speak for that. I don't know. Yeah. Remember I said one time before, like I don't I don't dream about having a Ferrari because I know I'm never gonna have one. I don't dream about no threesome. I know Desiree ain't gonna she can't hear me. Okay. All right on the back of your shoe in the back of your hand. We're at fifty two minutes. Let's go. Last one. Everybody's favorite, the sensation Uncle Knows Best. All right, Uncle. have you ever first off have you ever seen the movie The Whale? ⁓ no, but I know the premise. Okay, good. That's ⁓ Brendan Frazier, right? You got it. He won, I think he won an Oscar for it, but basically it's this really fat, fat dude who is killing himself. So the whole movie, he's killing himself through food. Everybody in his family, everything has basically abandoned him because he's just but they're like one friend. They never really explain why she was like the nurse to his dad or die. ⁓ no, no, no, no. Okay, let me explain what happened. So he Got married to a woman, had a kid, but he was gay, bro. That fool that fool wanted dudes, right? So what does he do? Eventually he falls in love. I think he was a professor. He falls in love with another professor, a guy. So he's like, Hey, I'm gonna do this whole guy on guy thing. What happens? Gets divorced. ⁓ the daughter, of course, I mean, imagine you're a kid and your dad leaves your mom to go get with another dude. You're gonna be You know, so the daughter was like having issues, she didn't talk with him, whatever. He ended up so he basically ended up Leaving his family to go have his dude have a a relationship, get married to his boyfriend, a guy. The guy, if I recall correctly, I know he dies, I don't know how, but I think the guy got cancer, his boyfriend, or his husband. And so the nurse was there to help with the the husband until he died. And I guess her and Brenda Faser Frazier just become so close that she ends up being like his best friend. She brings him food every day. She comes and helps him out, like whatever he needs. But I the movie is kind of weird to me because it's like, okay, I can tell he's obviously trying to kill himself. Like he just eats like a maniac all day. He even well, there's one scene where he's choking to death because he's eating like a hoagie or something. He's like and she's like has to come over here. She's like, What if I wasn't here? She's like freaking out. But it's like, but every day she so then he's all like sad or whatever. And then she pulls out another sandwich. She's like, here, because he didn't obviously finish the other one. He almost died. She gives him another one. He's like, And he's just like and she's just like okay. And she pet so it's like she's knowingly killing him too. So the movie is progressing like that, where you're like, Well, this is what is this about? This is about a guy killing himself, and then this lady's just like okay with it. Then the daughter comes back into life and she like it looks like she wants to kind of make him I don't know what it's kind of weird, but she comes back into his life. So you think like, and they're starting to kind of get a little bit of a relationship. He's helping her with homework and stuff, he's a professor. And so you kind of get the feeling that like, okay, maybe now he has something to live for. I can see what's gonna happen. The movie's gonna change and he's gonna like, I wanna live for my daughter now. I don't wanna die. No, he still keeps killing himself, which is making the daughter more mad and upset and like disgusted in him, anyways. Hopefully, no spoilers came out a couple years ago, but he ends up just still like the daughter's like, Why are you doing this? you know, da da da and he just like he can't stop. He ends up killing himself. He has like a heart attack or something. And so ⁓ it's sad, but My question to you is I believe you know, obviously he was going through a insane bout of depression. I mean, like, you know, probably guilt over leaving his family, guilt over not having a relationship with his daughter, guilt over being gay and leading the wife, whatever. And then also sadness because the husband who he left all for ended up dying. That's what I guess triggered him just getting fat. He just started going crazy and just eating everything. So, ⁓ my question to you, Uncle, is that ⁓ What do you think can be done to help someone like that where it's just like it honestly seems he was so far gone, it's just so inevitable inevitable that nothing could bring him back. I mean, even his daughter coming back into his life and them kind of re-establishing that relationship couldn't snap him out of it. Do you think there's a depression that's just so bad that it doesn't matter what? Nobody can help them bring them out of it. They're gonna just they're gonna eventually kill themselves or they're gonna die like this. Or do you think there's no such thing as like a lost cause? Like they should have brought in help. They should have done something, anything to make him, you know, try to value his life. What's your opinion on that? Sorry, I know that one's a little that one's a little dark, bro, but that's how I do it. You know, I'm dark I'm the dark boy, so I gotta go with the dark story. I don't know, bro. That that's a tough one because I don't want I don't want to say anybody's a lost cause because I I I truly don't believe that. ⁓ it's just you have to find a way to tap into it, bro, to to communicate, to get that person to kind of tell you what's eating them up inside. And it's really difficult for everybody involved because one, how do you would how do you address it? Two They have they have to want to be able to talk about it. And a lot of times they don't they don't want to talk about it. Sometimes it's admitting that they're like you said, it's admitting that he did wrong. It's admitting that he didn't have a relationship with his daughter. It's admitting that he's sad. Maybe because he maybe he felt guilty because he was gay. You know what I mean? There's so many things involved that It makes it so complex to to to pinpoint. And the sad part is that sometimes it's it's too late. You know what I mean? And like I said, it I don't I don't think there's anybody that is is is a lost cause because I I I I'm very I'm very glass half full type of person. You know, I mean I don't I don't I don't wanna see that for anybody. But I think it depends on where you where you find ⁓ bro. If you find them To the point where they're that big and they're just eating themselves to death, it's really hard to turn that around. You know what I mean? If if if he would have reached out or somebody would have addressed it maybe after it happened, like after the the the boyfriend died, like, hey, how are you? or what's going on? Or how do you feel? You know, I mean there's so many there's so many times where somebody could have said something or done something. Yeah. But also they they didn't, you know, they didn't realize it. And that's that's the struggle and that's the hard part. You know, and I think at the end of the day, ⁓ communication is your is the base. Yeah. Whether it's, you know, a f a checkup on them or whether it's a person that's going through it that just says, you know what, there's there's something wrong. I need I need I need help. And it it sucks because it it doesn't it doesn't always pan out that way and that's that's just tragic. Yeah. You know what's a good point too, you brought up is you said it like once it started hat like w whatever the boyfriend die or the husband died and that's kind of that was like the start of it probably. But it's like a lot of people probably don't realize you're probably like, ⁓ you know, ⁓ he's a little depressed. ⁓ he'll get over. Yeah, it's not that and then before you know it, once that it's almost like that ⁓ what is it? The the ball that just keeps going down the snowball effect. Avalanche, the snowball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's just once it's going now, it's like that's it, bro. You you can't stop it now. But if somebody maybe would have reached out you know, and and communicated with them a little bit right in the beginning. Hey, you know, I know you're gonna go through a really bad time. Let's let's cut this off. Let's snip it right here before we even get started. But that's hard. You know what I mean? That's really hard. And a lot of people don't know, you know, and and you can't force you can't force somebody to open up. You know, I mean you can go every day and hey, let's talk, let's talk. But if that person doesn't want to, ⁓ there's nothing you can do. ⁓ Uncle, if you're going through something Right now, in the past. ⁓ always remember this. Struggling doesn't make you less of a man. I think too many men don't wanna like like show weakness, but staying silent doesn't make you stronger. So look at some of these stories that we're talking about. reach out, reach out to family, reach out to friends, ⁓ reach out if you think somebody else is having an issue, reach out if you're having an issue. You never know, you never want that. That snowball to start, so communicate. I think that was the main thing. as always, Uncle, thank you. Appreciate your insight. thank you everybody else that was watching. Check us out on all the platforms. Now we're on everything, brother. We're on everything. We're next going to Fox News, brother. All right. I'll check you out. I'll check you out. ⁓