Latest / CALL ME MISTRESS / MANIPULATION, CONTROL AND DAMAGES - WHEN TO RUN FROM A TOXIC D/S RELATIONSHIP

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MANIPULATION, CONTROL AND DAMAGES - WHEN TO RUN FROM A TOXIC D/S RELATIONSHIP · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:08
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of call me mistress I'm
0:12
your Hostess mistress Mia and I have with me kinky Kylie.
0:16
Hi Kylie and I, we have gone through some adventures and the
0:22
future looks really exciting because Barbie and I had a
0:27
conversation and I said to her and I did get to talk to her
0:31
about it today. But we've talked that after we
0:34
have this next big event, Barbie and I are sitting down and we're
0:37
planning something really fucking cool and it's going to
0:41
include some really cool content, and Kylie's going to be
0:44
right in the middle of that. Yes, I am.
0:47
I know it's going to be exciting.
0:48
It's going. To be great.
0:50
Yes. Now let's reiterate for our
0:53
listeners, if you're local and you are coming to this event,
0:58
this event is not going to be at the Manor.
1:02
This event is going to be at a private Event Center.
1:06
It used to be an old club back in the day, and it is equipped
1:11
to house a ton of fucking people well into, I think they told me
1:17
the capacity is nearly 600. I think it's like 552, something
1:23
like that. It's around in Wow.
1:24
Yeah, it can house that many people.
1:26
That's impressive for an event. So you can, Can you imagine 8000
1:29
square feet? It's super huge.
1:32
It's got tons of seating, it's got a stage, it's got a full set
1:36
up. Just everything is going to be
1:38
badass, top notch. This is not going to be
1:40
something you're going to be going downtown and saying this
1:44
is something that is in our BDSM world that we want to give to
1:48
our local community. Yes.
1:50
So again, not at the Manor. No, do not show up at me as
1:55
home. There will be no one.
1:56
Here, no one. Here, lights out.
1:58
It'll be done. No one's going to be here.
2:00
So Kylie and I are talking about the do's and don'ts of ADS
2:03
relationship and in this this journey of what we've both
2:07
experienced in our own DS dynamics.
2:10
Kylie is a sub. Yeah, you're very much a.
2:12
Very much sub. And I'm very much a Dom.
2:15
Yes, yeah. But I don't have a Dom space.
2:17
Like I'm not super dominant. Understandable.
2:19
I'm not submissive, so it's a win win.
2:24
You know, it's really cute. Is a certain someone told me oh,
2:28
so long ago, He's like, you know, I just think you're a
2:31
little girl deep inside and you just want a big strongman to
2:35
protect you and love you and nurture you.
2:39
And I said that's really sweet. So for your sake, I'm telling
2:43
you now you should run because when you're in that really
2:49
compromised situation, and I will have you in a compromised
2:52
situation, at some point, you will be very, very regretful for
2:56
saying that because you're going to be very helpless and you're
2:59
going to be at my hands and I will have complete control over
3:02
you. Very intimidating me.
3:05
Yeah, You know, it's just a factual thing.
3:07
Yeah, very, very thing. You know, I've always told
3:11
people to, I've, I've had a lot of Doms that have worked under
3:14
me and they've always come to me and I said, listen, you never
3:17
have to yell. You never have to shout.
3:18
You just have to be very concise in what you say.
3:22
If you slip up in words and you're not concise in what you
3:25
say, it starts breaking apart into cracks.
3:29
And a sub can see right through that.
3:33
Subs are very smart, they're very calculated.
3:36
I have never really come in contact with a submissive that
3:40
signal. No, not really.
3:41
I. Think that.
3:42
I think you have to always be 10 steps ahead of everything.
3:47
I've dealt with more extreme bondage people over the years,
3:50
and I really love that. I've never been a real rope
3:54
enthusiast, but I've become better at the craft.
3:57
But I'm not a shibari expert. I'm not, you know, Kim Baku.
4:01
I'm not Punky. I'm not anybody else.
4:04
I'm not a rigor, I'm not know those things, but I can tie a
4:08
knot. I can make it to where you're
4:10
not going to get out of it. However, chains are always my
4:13
favorite. Steel is always my favorite.
4:15
I love the cold steel. Just like when I'm, when I'm
4:18
doing any type of impact, I love to hit someone with my hand so I
4:22
can feel that heat and that pain in my hand.
4:25
Yeah. So to me, it's it's engaging,
4:27
it's a touch. But it's so important to have
4:29
ADS relationship and to take it serious.
4:32
And people don't realize the level as to which it can go to.
4:36
I know you and I've talked before and I've said, you know,
4:38
I don't think there needs to be a big production for putting a
4:41
collar on someone, collaring someone.
4:43
But it's because when I got married, I didn't have guests
4:46
there. It was just me and him and were
4:48
there and no one else but a photographer and a a justice of
4:53
the peace. So to me it's a personal and ADS
4:56
relationship should be personal and intimate and it should be 1
5:00
of trust. And so I tell you about my
5:03
experiences as a Dom with DS relationships.
5:05
I talk about it all the time. Yeah.
5:07
Yeah, I've heard quite a few of them.
5:08
Right. But for you, I think breaking
5:10
some things down, you've had some not so cool things happen
5:14
to you. Yes.
5:15
And those are the things that I think people really need to
5:18
listen to, to understand how people can take things so
5:22
casually, so cavalier, and not put the importance of a sub or
5:26
their feelings 1st and knowing how detrimental it could be when
5:30
you break that trust. Yeah, it can be a very.
5:32
It can be, yeah. So share your experiences,
5:35
Kylie. So I've only been in one like
5:38
true DS relationship and it was with the person that I lived
5:41
with for eight months of my life.
5:42
We were together 11 months in total and we were BDS.
5:45
And from the start, originally, it started out, she was my Dom,
5:48
I was her sub, you know, full shebang.
5:50
Now, I never did get collared by her, her like officially, but we
5:53
did end up switching our dynamics at some point because
5:57
she wanted to experience more of the submissive side of things
6:00
and I was kind of exploring that top side of things.
6:03
I wouldn't say doming necessarily, but more topping,
6:06
more you're going to do, as I say, kind of aspect.
6:08
So there's definitely doming aspects in it, I would say, but
6:11
it's not what I would call a Dom.
6:13
There were a lot of things that we did that were great, a lot of
6:15
kinks that I experienced that I now love to do that used to be
6:19
like hard limits because of that relationship.
6:22
And there are other things that she has completely ruined for me
6:25
within kink now. Humiliation used to be on the
6:27
table for me. It used to be something that we
6:29
could do, but she used to incorrectly.
6:31
A lot of the times she would go further than I could handle,
6:34
usually verbally. And the biggest thing was being
6:36
treated like an object. That was like my biggest thing
6:39
due to past trauma with my mother, being treated less than
6:42
a human was always something that's affected me and she took
6:45
it way too far. She tried to use me as a table
6:47
one time, and I mean, I wasn't allowed to talk, wasn't allowed
6:48
to move, which makes sense and it's fun to lose that control,
6:51
but. And she started talking about me
6:53
as if I was nothing more than a table mentality.
6:56
Couldn't handle it, freaked out, and now I can't do humiliation
6:58
at all. I still do degradation pretty
7:00
well, but I still have to be treated like a human.
7:02
Even if it's, you know, slut, worthless, pathetic, whatever,
7:05
still have to be a human at the base level.
7:06
So let me let me ask this. Your mother actually treated you
7:10
like a human table. Not no no no my ex.
7:13
OK, but what was it correlating back to your mother?
7:15
My mother in college, OK, everything that happened, I
7:18
wasn't allowed to know about it because anything that could
7:21
potentially upset me would cause my grades to lower.
7:24
My mom, my grandmother, my sister, nobody would tell me
7:27
anything that was going wrong in the family because they didn't
7:29
want my grades to drop. So I was basically treated like
7:32
a number on the sheet. I was treated like keeping that
7:34
number higher was more important than my mental health and my
7:37
emotions than me even getting to know that my grandfather almost
7:40
died from cancer. How does that correlate to the
7:43
table concept? It's not necessarily the table
7:45
itself. It's correlates to being treated
7:48
less than a human because I wasn't being by my family.
7:51
I wasn't being treated like a human, was being treated like a
7:52
score, OK? Because my emotions, what I
7:55
felt, what I thought didn't matter.
7:56
It just mattered on what that grade was.
7:58
And it kind of, it dehumanized me basically.
8:00
And that's where the like table concept comes in, of being
8:03
dehumanized. Did you tell?
8:04
Your mother this. No.
8:05
Hell no. OK, just so we're on the same
8:07
page, all right. No, no, no.
8:10
I did tell her that she's lucky that my grandmother, my
8:13
grandfather, had a surgery and I told her she's lucky he didn't
8:15
die on that table because had he, I would never spoke to her
8:18
again. I did tell her that.
8:19
OK, so let's reiterate for this. So a lot of people don't realize
8:23
how much you can really fuck up your kid, Yeah.
8:26
And so not all of it's intentional.
8:28
It can come from the best intense.
8:29
Because her intentional was not to make me dehumanize, sure.
8:32
Her intention was to help me graduate and to take as much
8:35
stress and pressure off me as possible.
8:38
She just went about it the wrong way.
8:40
Sure, you know, hiding things from your kids can be helpful in
8:44
certain situations, But when it comes to a child who needs to
8:47
know everything because I need to know everything that's going
8:49
on, I'm one of those people that even if it's going to upset me,
8:51
even it's going to piss me off, I want to know.
8:53
She didn't really get because she was afraid that I get
8:54
stressed. My grades would drop and then,
8:56
you know, back to the family. Disappointment.
8:58
We were talking about multi generational dysfunction into
9:01
how they have always been control freaks.
9:04
Yeah. So it was really strange when
9:06
you came over the other day and you were like talking about this
9:09
person, this person. I'm like Kylie, you need to
9:11
focus on yourself. Right.
9:13
Yeah, because you don't need to try to control anyone elses
9:16
life. So you get it from your
9:18
grandmother and your mother and now you branch into trying to be
9:21
a sub and it's hard for you to adapt to certain things, right?
9:26
Do you think it's hard for you to to give control to people?
9:30
Certain people it can be yeah, I have to really trust that person
9:35
to to do it or. I mean, rightfully so.
9:38
Yeah, it, it can. There are some people that like,
9:40
I don't think I could ever give up full control with There are,
9:43
there's just some that I'm just like, I don't think I could do
9:45
it. But there are others that it's
9:46
it comes super easy. So it varies.
9:48
Yeah, Bree told me she was seeing you last night and how
9:51
you were talking to live. Yes, that was so cute.
9:54
She's like, you should saw how cute she was being so submissive
9:58
and sweet. But there's something about live
10:01
that you can relate to so much, and I think This is why a lot of
10:04
Subs relate to her, is that she is this sweet little girl.
10:08
She is that that person that is so kind and so pretty and almost
10:13
like a Snow White. Yes.
10:15
She really is. She's so sweet, She's such an
10:17
ideal person. But then when she closes the
10:20
door on the dungeon, it's a whole different story.
10:22
We get along really well. Yeah, we do.
10:25
Yeah. Yeah.
10:26
She's, she's amazing. She's.
10:27
Easy to get along with. Super easy to get along with
10:30
yeah, we play well together and the times that we have played,
10:33
we play very well together because we both think very
10:35
similar. And I think that's why we get
10:36
along just in every day too, is because we do think so similar.
10:39
So you could have those strong connections with people who are
10:42
dominant that aren't necessarily play partners.
10:45
Play partners, right, because me and Liv aren't play partners.
10:47
We're just friends, but we get along really well.
10:49
Izzy, the trouble with her was we talked about the humiliation
10:53
thing was one of the. You know, part of exploring into
10:56
BDSM is you're going to find things that you like, some
10:58
things that you don't like, but it's when they're taken to the
11:00
dream is when they can start becoming harmful.
11:02
So we've talked about the fact that I like knife play.
11:04
I used to do knife play on top and bottom.
11:06
Now I only do it on top. I will only do it as a form of
11:09
sensation on top. I don't cut unless specifically
11:12
ass. And even then I'm very cautious
11:14
about who I do it with because it is very dangerous to do when
11:17
you're playing with blood. You can get infections,
11:19
diseases, know what you're doing.
11:20
If you're doing blood play, it could be very dangerous.
11:22
But I mostly just stick with sensation.
11:23
I like to do heat and ice, that kind of thing with the blade
11:27
because it's metal. So metal gets really cold, but
11:29
metal also gets really hot. So it's kind of like a nice, you
11:32
know, tool to use with temperature play and it helps
11:34
with sensation. I used to do it.
11:36
Yeah. I used to do it on top and
11:38
bottom. I love the danger in a lot of
11:40
play when they can. That CNC aspect, that choking
11:43
almost to the point to passing out, like those danger elements.
11:47
Yeah, they're great. It's that fear aspect.
11:49
But it's so freeing at the same time.
11:51
So that's why I played with knives on bottom.
11:54
Now I can't do knives on bottom because.
11:56
You can't trust people, Yeah. Well, it's not as I can't trust
11:59
people, it's that that every time there's a knife near me, my
12:02
brain immediately goes, what if they're going to be like her?
12:06
Isn't that sad? And.
12:07
It sucks because what happened is we did knife play.
12:10
I never wanted to do blood play. I never wanted blood.
12:12
You know how I am about bodily fluids.
12:14
I'm not. I don't spit and coma.
12:15
Really the only two I want in or out of our body, on or out of
12:18
our bodies at any given time. If there's more bodily fluids
12:21
than blood or spit, I mean com or spit, we have a problem.
12:24
Something's gone haywire somewhere.
12:26
And blood was one of those that I didn't necessarily want to
12:28
venture into or play with or anything like that.
12:30
She cut me without my permission the first time, no big deal
12:33
whatever. We talked about it, told her not
12:35
to do it again, and it was months before she cut me with a
12:38
knife. Now we played with knives again
12:39
but it would been months. But since she had tried to cut
12:41
me, we got in a bad spot with our relationship and I'm about
12:43
to get more into this in a minute.
12:45
We got in a bad spot in our relationship and she cut me
12:47
again with no regard. Good Lord, what the fuck?
12:51
Yes, purposely when when against my hard limit and just said no.
12:56
Respecting hard limits super important.
13:00
You don't say. You don't say.
13:01
You would think that that's common knowledge, but it's
13:03
really not something else that's super important.
13:05
Giving aftercare. Yeah, a lot of people value
13:08
aftercare. Yes, depending on there.
13:11
There are some scenes where I feel like aftercare isn't
13:13
necessarily important. If the sub is fine with no
13:16
aftercare, sure. It's more what the sub's
13:18
comfortable with because I've done scenes where I'm like,
13:20
yeah, just go away. I don't, you don't.
13:22
Need it? You're done.
13:23
I don't need it. I'm done.
13:23
But there are a lot of scenes, especially when I go into
13:26
subspace, that I have to have in order to come out of it because
13:28
I go so far into subspace. We've talked about this before
13:31
too, how deep I get. I mean I go basically non verbal
13:35
a lot of times. Sure, that's understandable.
13:37
So we're going to branch into this, right?
13:39
So you've had experiences in a negative sense of the physical
13:45
and how you know she broke your trust, She did the cutting,
13:48
didn't take it serious enough. And now we go into how about the
13:52
verbal humiliation of things? Was she a manipulative person?
13:57
Very. So one of our biggest downfalls
14:00
in when we played was our relationship.
14:03
So we were together and we had the DS relationship.
14:06
It was, you know, one in the same.
14:08
She would verbally, she was not big on verbal degradation
14:11
outside of scenes normally, but what she would do is she would
14:14
bring our real life relationship problems into our BDSM scenes.
14:21
So she would basically punish me for things that she felt like I
14:26
should be punished for in our relationship.
14:28
Not not like everyday like didn't do the dishes, you know,
14:32
fun role play, like our differences in religion, our
14:37
differences in marriage. Like she would bring those
14:39
things up in scenes and more or less punish me for them.
14:43
Classy. Very another thing, and her
14:46
punishments could when I did brat because I've always been a
14:49
brat, but what she would do is if I was a brat, if she didn't
14:54
want to handle me being a brat, what a lot of times she would do
14:58
is she would punish me for that, which is very normal brat
15:01
tammers, you know, they punish brats, they try to keep them on
15:04
track and brats push limits for fun.
15:07
Very common, very well known. Nothing.
15:09
No problems there. Until your punishments are
15:13
things that shouldn't be punishments like.
15:16
Yes, that's what I was going to ask.
15:17
Examples please. Like like ignoring safe words.
15:22
Oh God, yeah, OK. One of the other things she did
15:26
with safe words is I was never allowed yellow.
15:28
Yellow was never allowed because I could either handle it or I
15:31
couldn't. There was no in between.
15:34
There was no breathers, there was no and nothing like that.
15:37
Yellow did not exist, sure, but red meant no aftercare.
15:41
Because I failed. Wow.
15:42
Yes, she's classy. So classy.
15:47
Okay, nice. That's what I meant.
15:49
I told you earlier about safe word respect, respecting.
15:52
Safe words, Yeah. That's so fucked up.
15:54
So what else about verbal humiliation have you found to be
15:57
intriguing with people that you've come in contact with in
16:00
their lifestyle past X? That kind of thing?
16:02
Was she, would she bait you with something, for example, and then
16:06
try to manipulate it like you said?
16:08
I mean, she went and said, you know, if you use the red, if you
16:11
use red as a safe word, that's it.
16:13
You don't get aftercare. Right.
16:15
So you failed. So you failed, I mean.
16:17
Manipulation. That's.
16:18
Huge. Yeah, yeah, that was that was a
16:21
bad 1. And I was really scared
16:23
truthfully, when when I left her that I was terrified that I
16:26
wasn't going to safe word with someone.
16:28
Like I was literally terrified that like, I may not be able to
16:31
play anymore because what if I'm too scared to safe word with
16:34
somebody else? Yeah.
16:35
Because that's a real fear. If you have someone that
16:37
disrespects your safe words and then you go play with someone
16:40
else, a real fear is that person might disrespect them too, and
16:43
you're in the same situation. I can still safe word though,
16:45
because I'm safe. I have my words and I can and
16:47
we'll use them as I have come to find out.
16:49
But I don't have that fear as bad as I thought I was going to.
16:52
But it is scary. Yeah.
16:54
And I'm really glad that like it didn't actually ruin like my
16:56
like I'm not scared of safeworthy like I thought I was
16:59
going to be. Well, that's good at least.
17:01
But. There was a another person, the
17:03
person I've been involved with for the past month that we just
17:05
that I just cut off with here recently.
17:08
The guy, the V card guy, sure, as we call him Gold Star guy, I
17:13
guess would be more accurate, but he would verbally manipulate
17:17
by doing things like saying you're mine, I'm going to do
17:20
this because you're this no regard like basically baiting me
17:24
to continue to come see him every week, continue to be
17:28
involved with him every single day and that kind of thing.
17:31
He would be very verbally manipulative.
17:32
I didn't struggle with that as much with Izzy as I did with
17:35
him. He would a lot of the times
17:38
switch his wording. So sometimes I was valuable, I
17:41
was important, I was worthy. Other times I was a passing girl
17:45
or a breeze or just another fuck toy.
17:48
It's that it's that keep you on the on the leash and it keeps
17:52
you guessing and it keeps you in that mindset of let me keep
17:55
doing these things to keep getting those positive
17:57
compliments and things, which is what he was doing.
17:59
Yeah, baiting you and then keeping you on the hook.
18:01
I got it baiting and keeping me on the hook.
18:05
That's really, really interesting.
18:08
I found it so often that I've dealt with other Doms and I've
18:13
seen that happen time and time again because people will tell
18:16
me Subs coming to me, they'll say, yeah, you know, I talked to
18:19
this Dom and and it's usually men who do it to women because
18:23
they think they can. They feel like they're much more
18:26
superior so that the women are inferior to them.
18:29
Right. Misogynistic.
18:30
Assholes, very misogynistic and and so they'll talk down to
18:34
them, they'll condescend, and then they'll automatically say
18:37
that they're in charge of them and that they own them.
18:40
And it's like, this is an online domination.
18:43
For example, I've had people say or women say, yeah, I've been
18:46
online dominated. And it was great.
18:48
But then it got really weird. He wanted to talk to me and I
18:52
wasn't into it. And but then I see it in a
18:55
physical sense, and I see doms that try to make the rules as
18:59
they go along, and then they try to manipulate things that will
19:03
benefit them instead of the sub. And it's like, what do you say
19:07
to that? That they're not real Doms.
19:10
Yeah, kind of like that. Because they're not.
19:12
You have to respect what the sub wants, but and it is a sub's job
19:17
to respect what the Dom wants too, but they have to align.
19:19
It's a mutual respect. It's a mutual respect.
19:21
Yeah, it's a mutual respect. It's a, you know, it's just like
19:24
I told you when we talked about it the other day.
19:27
I said that slave automatically wanted me to give him rules, set
19:31
the parameters for everything. And it's like, I don't know you.
19:34
I don't know anything about you, right?
19:36
So how can I set rules when I don't know your life?
19:39
Like, yeah, I would assume you had a job, right?
19:42
All these things I can make assumptions all day long, but
19:45
whether or not they're true or not.
19:46
We don't know until. It's moot.
19:49
Yeah, till you know it's it doesn't mean nothing.
19:52
Exactly. So nothing is validated at this
19:54
point. But yeah, that's interesting.
19:56
Yeah, one of the things I struggled with in DS
19:59
relationships, and part of the reason why I'm not really in one
20:01
or looking for one at the moment is, is rules.
20:03
Rules set expectations. You have these list of rules and
20:07
they set expectations for you to continue them.
20:09
I have a trouble of managing expectations.
20:12
I didn't set like it. It bothers me because I was, you
20:15
know, I was the kid that was going to go to college.
20:16
I was the kid that was going to do this.
20:17
So I lived up to other people's expectations of who I was
20:20
supposed to be all my life. So in the role of DS, I don't
20:24
necessarily want expectations that I don't set, which is why
20:28
DS relationships aren't something I'm super trying to do
20:33
is because though I love submitting, though I love giving
20:35
up the control, I love feeling free and all the amazing things
20:38
that comes with submission rules and expectations are something
20:42
that I struggle with. Charles and I had talked the
20:44
other day and he was telling me that for a lot of submissives or
20:48
slaves, when they struggle to be that perfect sub, it puts so
20:52
much pressure on them. And you don't think about it
20:54
that way from a Dom's perspective, because I choose my
20:58
slaves accordingly to how I feel for them, their connection.
21:03
You know, I have to love them in some way, but I don't put high
21:07
expectations on the ones that I don't feel like really could
21:11
handle a lot of rules, right, Because a lot of them can't.
21:15
Right? Yeah.
21:16
And so it's like getting to know the person, getting to know
21:19
their routine, getting to understand their mental health,
21:21
how they view life, their expectations of themselves,
21:25
their goals. And This is why I think it's
21:28
important that you sit down and say to your your submissive or
21:32
your slave, what are your expectations from our
21:34
relationship? What can I do to help you, you
21:37
know, improve your life and make your life better?
21:40
Right. It can also be really hard with
21:42
Subs that are like me, in the aspect of we don't really know
21:45
who we are. Without helping someone, it can
21:48
be difficult to be like, well, what are your goals?
21:50
What are your expectations for yourself when you set your whole
21:54
life based on what other people need of you and it it gets
21:58
complicated for for Subs who have to deal with that.
22:02
You know Kylie, you're a woman. But I can say this, that in the
22:06
2 male Subs that I have, they both feel compelled to still be
22:13
that manly man. And I think that is the biggest
22:16
part that they struggle with. You know, you as a woman, you
22:20
can be submissive and you could be sweet and it's cute because
22:24
it's a you're a woman because I'm a woman and it's sexy and
22:26
it's cute. But a man that has grown up
22:30
behind really domineering fathers, especially letting that
22:34
go out the window where they have to be this submissive to a
22:40
Dom, it's so difficult for them at times.
22:44
I imagine. It's so hard to not be that
22:46
manly man and let it go. It's interesting.
22:51
It is, yeah. Now you said something earlier
22:54
too, and it was bringing real life into the scene.
22:59
Yes, me and my ex, we did not agree on religious affiliations,
23:04
but that way the religious affiliations, we did not agree
23:08
with marriage. We did not agree on kids choices
23:11
that are one or the other. Sure, you can't be somewhat
23:15
married, you can't somewhat have a kid.
23:18
You know, there's no middle ground with someone who wants 0
23:22
kids and someone who wants 5. You don't have a middle.
23:24
Ground. No, you don't.
23:26
But she would punish me in scenes, she would do impact
23:29
scenes, she would do tease and denial scenes, all kinds of
23:34
things like that. And there were times where she
23:36
would literally force a scene to go until I called Red, like
23:40
forced me to go to Red. And then so that for the purpose
23:43
of not giving me aftercare because she was pissed over
23:46
something that had nothing to do with in the DS relationship we
23:50
had. It had to do with our
23:51
relationship problems that were falling apart because of how
23:54
different we were in our aspects of life.
23:57
She believed in traditional marriages.
23:59
I'm just a person who's never personally believed in them.
24:02
If it was work for you, great. It's not what works for me and I
24:05
don't want that. It made her upset that I
24:08
wouldn't do that. I can't do marriage.
24:11
She wanted to be married within the next three years.
24:15
I wanted kids. She didn't.
24:18
It was it created a lot of problems because it just started
24:21
trickling down into every small thing started becoming a fight
24:24
and those small little fights over I don't want to eat here, I
24:27
want to eat there. That could be a blow up argument
24:30
because when you're and it was like we had, we actually stopped
24:34
talking for a good bit. Just other than communicating
24:39
things that need to be done around the house.
24:41
We didn't even talk because every conversation LED into an
24:44
argument. She wanted me away from my
24:46
family. I, you know, I refused to let go
24:48
of them. She wanted me to do this.
24:50
I didn't want to do that. So I didn't even my social
24:52
anxiety, parties and stuff, being around people with a bunch
24:56
of events, not the easiest thing for me to do because I have
24:58
super bad social anxiety. It's gotten better over the
25:01
years, but it's still not great. But she wanted to have parties
25:05
and be around people every single weekend and wanted me to
25:07
drag to every 1. And I just can't do that
25:09
mentally. Gotcha.
25:10
That would make her upset that she had to go without me.
25:12
The fact that we I have a couple of different eating problems, as
25:15
you well know. Yeah, it would make her upset
25:18
that we couldn't eat the same things at dinnertime every
25:19
night. Those are things that could be
25:21
compromised. Those are things you can work
25:22
towards. Those are things that you can
25:23
either fix or. But she didn't want to work on
25:26
them. She just wanted me to do exactly
25:27
what she wanted me to do and not have any regard for what I
25:29
wanted or needed. Even so, we actually got to the
25:32
point where we weren't talking and eventually take it to the
25:34
point to where we weren't playing either.
25:36
We actually, by the time that we broke up, we had not had sex in
25:38
a week and hadn't played in over two months by the time we broke
25:41
up, because we weren't, we just couldn't get along.
25:43
And she and she would bring those problems like the eating
25:46
stuff, she would bring those, she would bring those things up
25:49
and would more or less punish me for those things in the realm of
25:52
BDSM, which is not what it should be used for.
25:55
Oh God, no, no. Bratting's one thing, but she
25:58
could take bratting too far too. I would brat a little bit and if
26:01
she wasn't in the mood I'd stop. But even if I just bratted a
26:03
little bit, it could have a major blow up instead of just
26:06
saying, hey, can't handle the bratting right now.
26:08
If she would blow up and she would do scenes and I put those
26:11
in heavy quotations because one time she shoved a my biggest
26:16
dildo that we had shoved it in me with no prep, no Lube, no
26:18
nothing. And I ripped and she just left
26:22
me there and went in the kitchen and started making breakfast
26:24
because I touched myself without her permission.
26:25
That was my crime. Wow.
26:28
She actually had me thank her for not forcing me to do
26:32
penetration for the next week for me to heal.
26:34
Wow, such a fucking gem. Wow.
26:38
Wow, that is so crazy. It's insane.
26:40
I've had some bad experiences in BSM but I've also had some
26:44
amazing ones. I mean there's there's so many
26:46
amazing Doms too. I know I'm just, I still get
26:50
caught in that just thinking, wow, it was.
26:52
Bad. It was bad.
26:53
What I hate, Kylie, is to hear someone take your sweet little
26:57
vulnerable self when you're, you know, 24 year old kid and you're
27:01
a kid to me. I'm sorry, I I'm twice your age.
27:05
And the thing of it is, I would never think for a second to ever
27:09
do that to someone intentionally.
27:10
To be ugly and hateful and malicious and vindictive and
27:14
fucking crazy, because that's fucking crazy.
27:17
Yeah, sometimes our punishments were taking away affection too.
27:20
She wouldn't kiss me, she wouldn't hold my hand, she
27:22
wouldn't hug me. Basically, treat me like a
27:24
stranger was also a punishment she did quite frequently.
27:28
Wow, that is that's insane to me.
27:31
Well, I'll tell you this. We're going to go on a positive
27:34
light on this episode because we're going to switch gears now
27:39
and I'm going to tell you I had a lovely little scene the other
27:41
day and it was perfect. It was a perfect little scene.
27:48
And it was funny because my little Sissy, we didn't play in
27:52
the dungeon. We played in my house.
27:55
And he was very much, it's cute because I didn't tell him to
28:01
bring his play bag, but he brought his play bag.
28:05
I said, Oh, I didn't know you were going to bring the the
28:08
stuff. And he's like, well, you didn't
28:10
say anything about it, but I just brought it just just in
28:13
case. And I'm like, and I'm like,
28:15
look, you never have to ask me. I'm down to clown 24/7 all day
28:21
long. But anyway, I'd ordered him this
28:24
cute little onesie and it was more or less to me.
28:29
It looks like a ballerina outfit but without the Tutu.
28:32
It's like this soft pink and it's got little diamonds in it
28:37
and it has drop down shoulder straps where it has the long
28:42
sleeves and it's real feminine and it's a cute little bodysuit
28:46
and it's just little snap at the crotch.
28:48
It's so fucking adorable. Yeah.
28:53
So I put that on my Sissy and then I put his steel cuffs on
28:57
and then the mittens. Have you ever?
28:58
Worn mittens? No what?
29:00
Do you think about wearing mittens?
29:01
You might like it. I'd.
29:02
Probably be down. I think you would.
29:04
Probably. I mean, I like bondage and all
29:06
its forms from what I've experienced thus.
29:09
Far. They're soft and squishy on the
29:11
inside. They're really cute.
29:14
Probably keep me from fidgeting. Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to
29:17
get you mittens, Kylie. I know someone would be
29:21
appreciative about stop fidgeting during scenes.
29:26
I'm gonna get you mittens and I'll be like, look, Kylie, you
29:29
can't touch yourself. Chastity for women has to be
29:33
creative, guys. Yes, yes, it'll be great, but
29:38
but we did a great scene and you know, for him, it's not calling
29:43
it a scene. It's a real life situation.
29:46
And I do bring up real life situations during the scene, but
29:50
not in a malicious way. So fuck your ex for doing what
29:54
they did. But when I bring up something,
29:56
it's like, Hey, do you remember that time you said AB and C?
30:01
Or you remember that time that you got home late or you didn't
30:07
ask permission for this? These are small little things.
30:11
They're not. Hey, you fucking cheated on.
30:14
Me right, right, I'm gonna. Kill you.
30:17
It's, it's these small little things that you know they didn't
30:22
do right. Oh, for example, I said to
30:25
certain someone, I said, hey, you know, you lifted the toilet
30:29
seat. You need to put the toilet seat
30:30
down. You remember we've had this
30:31
conversation before, so it's things like that you bring up
30:35
and it's fun. Yeah, it's more funny in an
30:37
aspect if it's little that doesn't bother me.
30:40
Like that would bother me. No, it wouldn't bother anybody
30:42
because these are. Normal things to bring up
30:44
because it's funny, but yeah, your religious affiliation, fuck
30:48
that. But.
30:49
You're not Christian enough for me.
30:51
Let me beat your ass until it's black and blue.
30:53
Shit. So crazy.
30:57
But yeah, so anyway, so I did little things ultimately, I I
31:02
was really creative. I found this chastity ring that
31:05
attached to the actual case of the chastity and it was perfect.
31:10
It was a perfect round ring and had a clamp and it has the hole
31:13
for the lock and I had a great master lock on it.
31:16
So I took that and attached it to the O rings on his cuffs and
31:22
I locked it. It was perfect.
31:23
It didn't give it too much leeway.
31:25
It was maybe spaced out three inches, if that, and it was
31:28
great. And so once we did that and he
31:31
had his hands behind his back, I mean, he's pretty much all
31:34
access. And then of course, pull that
31:36
collar and the leash and make them do things that they really
31:40
need to get done. It's great find somebody that
31:42
can bond me up because Jesus, here we are talking.
31:44
I'm like, do you know how long it's been since I've been in
31:45
cuffs? Well, I tell you what, Jesus
31:48
highly, we should do this. I have a really cool pair of
31:52
cuffs like we talked about for you.
31:54
We could use it for you because you have small wrists.
31:57
If I really wanted to, maybe, but I'm not.
32:00
Again, I don't know. I know, but you know what?
32:02
If you have mittens on, you can't get them off.
32:03
That's true. With mittens, I wouldn't be able
32:05
to get them off. My hands would be blocked.
32:06
Yeah, we could do that. We could put mittens on you with
32:09
it. We're going to order you some
32:11
mittens. That's it.
32:12
Enough is enough. Order mittens or.
32:14
Not Mittens. Yay, yay.
32:16
But you know what? That's what we should do.
32:17
We should do a really good bondage scene for you and have
32:21
you bound and nice and comfy cozy.
32:25
Nice and comfy. Cozy.
32:26
And then we'll make a lovely little video of it, and then
32:30
we'll bring Abby in and she can do dirty little things to you.
32:35
She would love that she. Would love that.
32:37
She would love that. So we can get some footage just
32:41
for only for loyal fans. Loyal fans, Loyal, yes.
32:46
And then we could do just little snippets for Fetlife so people
32:51
can come on there and look and be fun.
32:54
And we can do kind of like an intro scene slash tutorial for
33:02
people and kind of show them a few things about the bondage
33:05
cuffs and the mittens and all that.
33:07
Kind of like a demo. Yeah, kind of like a demo.
33:09
We can do that. We could.
33:10
Definitely do that. That'd be I think people will be
33:11
interested in watching. That I think so.
33:13
Like an educational standpoint. Yes, yes, I.
33:16
Think that would be interesting. We'll put you in something sexy,
33:18
but nothing, you know, too raunchy until after we flip the
33:21
script on another episode for loyal fans.
33:25
Loyal fans. Then we'll take off the clothes.
33:27
Yeah, take off the clothes totally.
33:30
But yeah, you know, and then aftercare for me was after I
33:33
took and I had everything taken off of him and put the collar
33:39
and leash away and did all that. I held him and rubbed him and
33:43
caressed him, watch a little TV until he fell asleep.
33:47
Yeah, easy peasy. People don't realize that Subs
33:51
are very simple. Oh yeah, very simple, right?
33:54
It's very easy to take care of them.
33:56
And I was telling Liv about the scene, and she's like, you know,
33:59
that's probably something he's always wanted but never wanted
34:02
to ask you for. And I said, well, that's the
34:06
thing. So many Subs don't want to ask.
34:07
For it, right? Yeah.
34:09
Oh yeah. There's so many things that I
34:10
probably want to do that I just wouldn't ask for.
34:12
Well, Kylie, I think you need to make a list of it and then that
34:16
way we can do it regardless, with or without, you know, some
34:21
asshole Dom. Yeah.
34:24
Yeah, serious. Maybe the last?
34:25
Time I'd done bondage was in December.
34:29
Oh wow. That was the last time I done
34:32
bondages was December. OK.
34:34
Jesus Christ, it's mid-May. I know it's 5-5 months later
34:38
I've. Played since then, don't get me
34:39
wrong, but the the guy. Bondage.
34:42
Aspect the bondage The bondage is one of my biggest kinks
34:45
though. One of my bigger 2.
34:47
It is. You haven't been in the bondage
34:49
bag. I haven't been in any sleeping
34:51
bag or back bed or anything like that.
34:53
Okay, okay, well we can do that. We can do that.
34:55
That's easy stuff. Have you been Saran wrap
34:58
bondage? Nope.
35:00
See that's my favorite. I love the Saran wrap bondage
35:04
because I get it nice and tight and my thing of it is a sweat
35:08
and you're in there and you're like stuck and I'm like, try to
35:11
move. Show me how you can move.
35:14
They're like. And then finally at the end of
35:17
the scene, after you let them come and you've done all these
35:21
things to them for about an hour or so, then you cut them slowly
35:25
and say you come out of your cocoon.
35:28
You're now a butterfly. That's cute.
35:32
It's. Cool, it's so cool they love it.
35:36
But anyway, I think that you're awesome, and I think that your
35:42
past Doms suck big donkey Dick. I agree with that, yeah.
35:47
There were good moments, don't get me wrong.
35:48
Yeah, well. It's amazing moments, but.
35:51
When a woman takes advantage of you like that, tears your rib
35:54
shoe and mistreats you so badly, that is a predator.
35:59
That is someone who is an awful fucking human being.
36:03
So until then, Kylie, thank you so much.
36:05
Yeah, I've been great. Thank you for sharing all of
36:07
that. Absolutely.
36:08
Until next time. Until next time, Kylie, say it
36:11
for me. This has been the latest episode
36:14
of Call Me Mistress.