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The One Thing That Separates People Who Change Their Lives From People Who Don't. · Unlocking The Paradigm Portal

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  Good morning everyone. Welcome back to unlocking the
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  Paradigm Portal. My name is Sarah and it is
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  Friday. And if you've been with me this
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  week, and I mean really with me, I need you to take a second
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  before we dive in and just acknowledge that I really wish I
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  had one of those applause sound effects.
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  So Monday we talked about becoming the lighthouse and then
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  Tuesday night we sat with fear and what it does to our
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  decisions. And Wednesday, I pushed you hard
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  to stop waiting, to feel ready and take one action before the
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  sun went down. Did you do it?
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  And last night we went deep into learning the difference between
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  your intuition and your fear, between the voice that just
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  knows and the voice that's just scared.
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  So this is a full week of inner work and that is everything.
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  Seriously, it's everything. And most people are too afraid
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  to do it or too afraid of what they may find.
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  And you're not. And I'm proud of you.
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  High 5 yourself. You're going to hear a lot of me
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  saying high 5 yourself today because I'm feeling good.
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  So before we go anywhere today, just put your hand on your heart
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  for just a second. Like literally put your hand on
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  your chest. Did you take that one action on
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  Wednesday? Did you and did you lay that one
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  stone? I don't care how small it is.
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  It can be something as simple as I drank a glass of water high 5
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  yay, that's a victory. It can be something really big
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  like, I don't know, I, I actually made an entire program
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  this week that was super huge and it's awesome and I'm excited
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  and I will talk about that at a later date.
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  So if you did take lay the one stone, you figured it out.
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  You took action. I want you to feel that.
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  Don't brush past it. Don't minimize it.
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  And don't say, yeah, but it was just one small thing.
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  I don't give a crap. One small thing matters.
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  So feel it. That was you choosing your
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  future over your comfort zone. That's a big deal.
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  That was you being the lighthouse instead of waiting
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  for someone else to light the way.
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  And if you didn't, that's OK too.
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  That's what today is for. We don't shame here.
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  I don't shame, I don't blame, I don't judge, I don't criticize.
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  We are all on our own journey, making our own choices and
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  having to find our own path. I'm just here to encourage you
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  to lay one stone. So we're just going to keep
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  going because today I want to talk about the one principle
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  that I believe more than almost anything else.
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  And you will probably hear me say that repeatedly because
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  there's a lot of things that I super believe in.
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  And that is the difference between the people who transform
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  their lives and the people who stay stuck in the same loop year
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  after year after year. It's not about talent, it's not
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  about timing, and it certainly isn't about resources or
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  connections or luck. It's this.
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  The people who change their lives are the ones who do one
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  thing consistently, even when it feels too small to matter.
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  Pebbles matter too, and I'm calling it the one Stone Rule 1
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  stone every day, no matter what. No matter if it's a big stone or
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  a teeny, teeny tiny stone. Not ten stones when you're
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  feeling motivated, or 0 stones when you're not.
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  Not a perfect week followed by a complete collapse. 1 stone laid
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  with intention every single day. And here's why this works.
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  And I want you to really hear the signs of this.
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  Because it's not woo woo. It's not motivational fluff.
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  It's how your brain actually operates.
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  Your brain is a pattern recognition machine.
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  It is constantly scanning your behavior and drawing conclusions
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  about who you are. So every action you take is a
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  vote. It's a vote for the identity
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  you're either building or dismantling.
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  And when you lay one stone, when you take one small, consistent
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  action toward the person that you're becoming, your brain
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  registers it not as a big dramatic transformation.
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  And that's where most people get hung up.
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  They want the easy button. They want to already be at the
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  finish line. Sorry, friends, that's not how
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  it works. And as a data point, this is who
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  I am. This is what I do.
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  And here's what's extraordinary about that.
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  The action doesn't have to be big.
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  In fact, it's better if it's not.
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  Because big, dramatic actions are hard to sustain.
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  They require enormous energy and perfect conditions and the right
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  mood and enough sleep. And do you see where I'm going?
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  Here you can find all the reasons to avoid doing it.
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  Or you can take these small actions that can be done on your
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  worst day. They can be done when you're
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  exhausted and overwhelmed and the last thing you feel like
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  doing is growing. And it's those days, the days
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  that you lay the stone anyway. Despite the fatigue, despite the
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  frustration, despite everything feeling like it's just out of
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  control around you. You lay that stone, and that
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  will build the strongest part of your lighthouse.
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  So think about water and rock for a second.
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  Water doesn't carve the Grand Canyon in a day, right?
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  And it doesn't show up 1 morning with enormous force and dramatic
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  impact and reshape the landscape in one single massive heroic
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  effort. It just keeps moving,
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  consistently, persistently, without apology and without
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  stopping. And over time, over patient,
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  relentless, unsexy time, it carves something breathtaking.
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  You are the water, your life is the rock, and you're 1 stone.
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  Every day is the current that never stops.
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  Now I want to get specific with you because I don't do vague
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  here. I am all about full
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  transparency. I don't read between the lines.
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  I don't deal with bullshit. Vague is where good intentions
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  go to die. Have you ever heard someone say
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  the path to hell is paved with good intentions?
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  Intentions. That's, you know, a thing.
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  But our intentions backed up by action.
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  So your one stone is not the same as mine.
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  It's not the same as the person listening to this in their car
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  next to you. Your one stone is the specific,
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  concrete, non negotiable daily action that moves you toward the
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  life, the relationship, the career, the version of yourself
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  that you decided you were building.
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  You decided, I say this all the time, what do you want?
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  Most people don't allow themselves the time to actually
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  answer that or they get so frustrated they just give up and
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  say I don't know. And then they keep doing the
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  same things over and over again. But you, my friend, you are here
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  still listening to this at like 8 minutes in.
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  So that tells me you give a shit and you want to make change.
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  So I'm going to ask you and I want you to actually answer this
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  out loud if you can so that you can get it into your head.
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  Even if you're alone in the car, even if you're with other
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  people. I don't care.
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  What are you building? Answer that.
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  Not what you wish you were building.
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  That's a Daydream and a fantasy, not what you think you should be
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  building. That's other people's
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  expectations. But what are you actually
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  building? What is the thing that lights
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  you up? The thing that scares you a
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  little bit, or a lot of it? The thing that you keep coming
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  back to, even when you try to talk yourself out of it?
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  Name it. Put it into words.
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  Now, what is the one stone for that thing, the one action small
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  enough to do every single day without perfect conditions, that
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  moves you forward? Is it writing one paragraph?
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  Is it making one phone call? Sending a text, having one
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  honest conversation? Doing one session, whether it's
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  body work or therapy or going to the doctor, whatever it may be,
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  sending 1 e-mail or saying one true thing out loud.
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  Name that thing too. Because here's what I know about
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  the people who show up to their lives.
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  They really show up. And I don't mean they just are
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  surviving their life. They're not superhuman.
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  They're not endlessly motivated. They do not have easier
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  circumstances or fewer obstacles or more hours in the day.
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  They just refuse to let a day pass without laying one stone,
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  even on the days that that stone feels impossibly heavy.
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  And I'm getting this visual in my head of that the Greek half
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  human, half God. Was it Perseus?
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  I can't remember the one that had to keep pushing the stone up
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  the hill. If anybody remembers what that
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  one is, put it in the comments please.
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  So even on the days that nobody is watching, they don't let a
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  day pass without laying one stone.
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  Even on the days that they wonder if any of it is working,
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  they lay the stone and they trust the wall.
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  So you made it to Friday again, High 5 yourself.
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  That means you survived another week of whatever life is
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  currently asking of you. And it is asking a lot, I know
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  it is. But you're here and you showed
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  up for yourself this morning when you could have hit snooze
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  and scrolled and sleepwalked into your day.
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  Because it is 6 frickin AM. That was a stone.
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  So here is your Friday challenge, and this one carries
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  you into the weekend. I want you to write it down.
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  Like actually write it. Not just think about it #1 what
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  are you building? Get clear.
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  Very picture it, very pristine, precise, laser focus, clear #2
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  what your one daily stone is. What is your one daily stone for
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  today #3 what did you lay this week?
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  Even the small stones, Especially the small ones.
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  What stones did you lay this week?
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  And then I want you to look at that list and recognize that you
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  are not the person who is waiting for their life to
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  change. You are the person who is
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  changing it one stone at a time. The lighthouse was built that
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  way and so are you. So I hope that you have the best
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  Friday ever and get your ass out there and lay your stone.
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  Let's go. It's time to move.