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CIMC 149: When Resentment Shows Up in Your Libido · Dr. Danielle Difference

• 0:00
  Welcome
• 0:00
  to
• 0:00
  The
• 0:00
  Crying
• 0:00
  in
• 0:01
  My
• 0:01
  Cheesecake
• 0:01
  podcast,
• 0:02
  where
• 0:02
  we
• 0:02
  stop
• 0:02
  settling,
• 0:03
  stop
• 0:03
  spiraling,
• 0:03
  and
• 0:04
  stop
• 0:04
  living
• 0:04
  bodies
• 0:05
  and
• 0:05
  lives
• 0:05
  that
• 0:06
  feel
• 0:06
  too
• 0:06
  small
• 0:06
  for
• 0:06
  who
• 0:06
  God
• 0:07
  created
• 0:07
  us
• 0:07
  to
• 0:07
  be.
• 0:08
  I'm
• 0:08
  your
• 0:08
  host,
• 0:09
  Dr.
• 0:09
  Danielle
• 0:09
  Naturopathic,
• 0:10
  doctor
• 0:10
  Root
• 0:11
  Cause
• 0:11
  detective,
• 0:11
  straight
• 0:12
  talking
• 0:12
  coach,
• 0:12
  and
• 0:12
  the
• 0:13
  woman
• 0:13
  who's
• 0:13
  gonna
• 0:13
  tell
• 0:13
  you
• 0:13
  the
• 0:13
  truth
• 0:14
  about
• 0:14
  your
• 0:14
  health,
• 0:14
  your
• 0:15
  habits,
• 0:15
  and
• 0:15
  your
• 0:15
  spiritual
• 0:16
  life.
• 0:16
  Even
• 0:17
  when
• 0:17
  no
• 0:17
  one
• 0:17
  else
• 0:17
  will.
• 0:18
  If
• 0:18
  you're
• 0:18
  exhausted
• 0:19
  from
• 0:19
  starting
• 0:19
  over,
• 0:20
  overwhelmed
• 0:20
  by
• 0:20
  symptoms,
• 0:21
  no
• 0:21
  one
• 0:21
  explains
• 0:22
  or
• 0:22
  you're
• 0:22
  ready
• 0:22
  to
• 0:22
  take
• 0:23
  radical
• 0:23
  responsibility
• 0:24
  for
• 0:24
  the
• 0:24
  woman
• 0:24
  you're
• 0:24
  becoming,
• 0:25
  you're
• 0:25
  in
• 0:25
  the
• 0:25
  right
• 0:25
  place.
• 0:26
  This
• 0:26
  is
• 0:26
  where
• 0:26
  faith
• 0:27
  meets
• 0:27
  physiology,
• 0:27
  where
• 0:28
  mindset
• 0:28
  meets
• 0:28
  metabolism
• 0:29
  and
• 0:29
  where
• 0:29
  real
• 0:30
  transformation,
• 0:31
  that
• 0:31
  lasting
• 0:31
  kind,
• 0:32
  it
• 0:32
  actually
• 0:32
  happens.
• 0:33
  Let's
• 0:33
  get
• 0:33
  into
• 0:34
  today's
• 0:34
  episode.
• 0:36
  Hey
• 0:36
  guys,
• 0:36
  it's
• 0:36
  Dr.
• 0:37
  Danielle,
• 0:37
  and
• 0:37
  today
• 0:38
  we're
• 0:38
  diving
• 0:38
  into
• 0:38
  something
• 0:38
  that
• 0:39
  everyone
• 0:39
  feels,
• 0:40
  and
• 0:40
  almost
• 0:40
  no
• 0:40
  one
• 0:40
  admits
• 0:41
  out
• 0:41
  loud,
• 0:42
  but
• 0:42
  we're
• 0:42
  gonna
• 0:43
  go
• 0:43
  there.
• 0:43
  We're
• 0:43
  gonna
• 0:44
  talk
• 0:44
  about
• 0:44
  resentment
• 0:44
  and
• 0:45
  how
• 0:45
  it
• 0:45
  quietly
• 0:45
  shuts
• 0:46
  down
• 0:46
  your
• 0:46
  libido.
• 0:47
  Listen,
• 0:48
  if
• 0:48
  last
• 0:48
  week's
• 0:48
  episodes
• 0:49
  hit
• 0:49
  home
• 0:50
  because
• 0:50
  you're
• 0:50
  really
• 0:50
  struggling
• 0:51
  with
• 0:51
  attraction,
• 0:52
  this
• 0:52
  episode
• 0:53
  is
• 0:53
  going
• 0:53
  to
• 0:54
  be
• 0:54
  one
• 0:54
  that
• 0:54
  explains
• 0:55
  why.
• 0:55
  And
• 0:56
  this
• 0:56
  is
• 0:56
  the
• 0:56
  emotional
• 0:57
  backbone.
• 0:58
  This
• 0:58
  is
• 0:58
  the
• 0:58
  part
• 0:58
  of
• 0:58
  the
• 0:58
  story
• 0:59
  that
• 0:59
  you've
• 0:59
  never
• 1:00
  been
• 1:00
  invited
• 1:01
  to
• 1:01
  actually
• 1:01
  name.
• 1:02
  And
• 1:03
  I
• 1:03
  want
• 1:03
  you
• 1:03
  to
• 1:03
  breathe
• 1:04
  before
• 1:04
  we
• 1:04
  get
• 1:05
  started
• 1:05
  because
• 1:05
  this
• 1:05
  is
• 1:05
  gonna
• 1:06
  get
• 1:06
  a
• 1:06
  little
• 1:06
  personal
• 1:06
  and
• 1:07
  it's
• 1:07
  gonna
• 1:07
  get
• 1:07
  kind
• 1:07
  of
• 1:07
  real
• 1:08
  or
• 1:08
  very
• 1:09
  real,
• 1:09
  and
• 1:09
  it's
• 1:09
  gonna
• 1:10
  touch
• 1:10
  the
• 1:10
  part
• 1:10
  of
• 1:10
  you
• 1:10
  that
• 1:11
  you've
• 1:11
  been
• 1:11
  trying
• 1:12
  to
• 1:12
  ignore
• 1:12
  for
• 1:13
  years.
• 1:14
  But
• 1:14
  we
• 1:14
  don't
• 1:14
  do
• 1:14
  shame
• 1:15
  here.
• 1:15
  We
• 1:15
  don't
• 1:15
  hide
• 1:15
  things
• 1:16
  here
• 1:16
  and
• 1:16
  we're
• 1:16
  just
• 1:17
  not
• 1:17
  gonna
• 1:17
  like,
• 1:18
  you
• 1:18
  know,
• 1:19
  give
• 1:19
  ourselves
• 1:19
  that,
• 1:20
  that
• 1:20
  platitude
• 1:21
  of,
• 1:21
  I
• 1:21
  should
• 1:22
  be
• 1:22
  over
• 1:22
  this
• 1:22
  by
• 1:22
  now,
• 1:23
  here,
• 1:23
  right?
• 1:24
  We're
• 1:24
  gonna
• 1:24
  do
• 1:24
  truth,
• 1:24
  compassion,
• 1:25
  clarity,
• 1:26
  and
• 1:26
  we're
• 1:26
  gonna
• 1:26
  actually
• 1:27
  get
• 1:27
  some
• 1:27
  real
• 1:27
  solutions,
• 1:28
  not
• 1:28
  surface
• 1:28
  level
• 1:29
  advice
• 1:29
  that
• 1:30
  doesn't
• 1:30
  get
• 1:30
  to
• 1:30
  the
• 1:30
  root.
• 1:31
  So
• 1:31
  you
• 1:31
  ready?
• 1:32
  Let's
• 1:32
  go
• 1:33
  in
• 1:34
  my
• 1:34
  clinic
• 1:34
  more
• 1:34
  and
• 1:34
  more,
• 1:35
  and
• 1:36
  I
• 1:36
  am,
• 1:36
  I'm
• 1:36
  just
• 1:37
  hearing
• 1:37
  that
• 1:38
  women
• 1:38
  are
• 1:39
  just
• 1:39
  really
• 1:39
  struggling
• 1:40
  in
• 1:40
  their
• 1:40
  marriages
• 1:40
  and
• 1:40
  February
• 1:41
  is
• 1:41
  about
• 1:41
  this
• 1:41
  month
• 1:42
  of
• 1:42
  like
• 1:42
  love,
• 1:42
  right?
• 1:42
  Like
• 1:43
  we
• 1:43
  think
• 1:43
  about
• 1:43
  love
• 1:43
  and
• 1:44
  relationships
• 1:44
  and
• 1:44
  things
• 1:45
  in
• 1:45
  February.
• 1:46
  And
• 1:46
  honestly,
• 1:47
  I
• 1:47
  think
• 1:47
  a
• 1:47
  lot
• 1:47
  of
• 1:47
  pregnancies
• 1:48
  happen
• 1:48
  in
• 1:48
  February
• 1:49
  for
• 1:49
  some
• 1:49
  people,
• 1:50
  but
• 1:51
  a
• 1:51
  lot
• 1:52
  of
• 1:52
  them,
• 1:53
  a
• 1:53
  lot
• 1:53
  of
• 1:53
  women
• 1:53
  will
• 1:54
  start
• 1:54
  asking,
• 1:56
  um.
• 1:57
  So
• 1:57
  asking
• 1:57
  questions
• 1:58
  like,
• 1:59
  why
• 1:59
  do
• 1:59
  I,
• 1:59
  why
• 1:59
  do
• 1:59
  I
• 1:59
  just
• 2:00
  not
• 2:00
  feel
• 2:01
  the
• 2:01
  same?
• 2:01
  How
• 2:01
  can
• 2:01
  he
• 2:02
  love
• 2:02
  me?
• 2:02
  How
• 2:02
  can
• 2:03
  he,
• 2:03
  whatever?
• 2:04
  And
• 2:04
  when
• 2:05
  I
• 2:05
  ask
• 2:06
  them,
• 2:06
  I'm
• 2:06
  like,
• 2:07
  what
• 2:07
  are
• 2:07
  you
• 2:07
  done
• 2:07
  with?
• 2:08
  Like,
• 2:08
  what
• 2:08
  are
• 2:08
  you
• 2:08
  actually
• 2:09
  just,
• 2:09
  when
• 2:09
  you
• 2:10
  say
• 2:10
  you're
• 2:10
  just
• 2:10
  done,
• 2:11
  what
• 2:11
  are
• 2:11
  you
• 2:11
  done
• 2:12
  with?
• 2:13
  And
• 2:15
  resentment
• 2:16
  doesn't
• 2:16
  always
• 2:16
  feel
• 2:17
  like
• 2:17
  anger,
• 2:18
  but
• 2:18
  they
• 2:19
  don't
• 2:19
  have
• 2:19
  to
• 2:19
  say
• 2:19
  these
• 2:19
  words.
• 2:20
  Instead,
• 2:20
  it's
• 2:21
  just
• 2:21
  like.
• 2:22
  I
• 2:22
  want,
• 2:22
  like,
• 2:22
  I
• 2:22
  guess
• 2:23
  what
• 2:23
  I
• 2:23
  want
• 2:23
  you
• 2:23
  to
• 2:23
  say,
• 2:23
  like
• 2:24
  realize
• 2:24
  is
• 2:25
  that
• 2:25
  resentment
• 2:26
  is
• 2:26
  slow,
• 2:27
  it's
• 2:27
  steady,
• 2:28
  and
• 2:28
  it
• 2:28
  is
• 2:28
  an
• 2:29
  erosion
• 2:29
  of
• 2:29
  your
• 2:29
  emotional
• 2:30
  capacity.
• 2:31
  Resentment
• 2:32
  doesn't
• 2:32
  look
• 2:32
  like
• 2:32
  rage.
• 2:33
  It
• 2:33
  doesn't
• 2:33
  look
• 2:33
  like
• 2:34
  you're
• 2:34
  blowing
• 2:34
  up
• 2:34
  all
• 2:35
  the
• 2:35
  time.
• 2:35
  It
• 2:35
  doesn't
• 2:36
  look
• 2:36
  like
• 2:36
  you're,
• 2:37
  uh,
• 2:37
  just
• 2:38
  like,
• 2:38
  it
• 2:38
  doesn't
• 2:38
  look
• 2:38
  like
• 2:38
  you're
• 2:39
  messy.
• 2:39
  You
• 2:39
  feel
• 2:40
  it
• 2:40
  inside
• 2:41
  though.
• 2:42
  Okay.
• 2:43
  It
• 2:43
  takes
• 2:44
  time
• 2:44
  to
• 2:44
  build
• 2:45
  up
• 2:45
  resentment.
• 2:46
  It's
• 2:47
  tiny,
• 2:48
  unspoken
• 2:49
  moments
• 2:49
  that
• 2:49
  your
• 2:49
  nervous
• 2:50
  system
• 2:50
  holds
• 2:50
  onto
• 2:51
  even
• 2:51
  when
• 2:51
  your
• 2:51
  mouth
• 2:52
  doesn't
• 2:52
  even
• 2:52
  notice,
• 2:53
  right?
• 2:54
  So
• 2:54
  when
• 2:54
  you
• 2:54
  start
• 2:55
  saying
• 2:55
  things
• 2:56
  like,
• 2:57
  I'm
• 2:57
  tired
• 2:57
  of
• 2:57
  doing
• 2:57
  everything.
• 2:59
  I
• 2:59
  feel
• 2:59
  like
• 2:59
  I'm
• 3:00
  the
• 3:00
  only
• 3:00
  adult
• 3:00
  in
• 3:00
  this
• 3:00
  house.
• 3:01
  No
• 3:01
  one
• 3:02
  notices
• 3:02
  how
• 3:02
  much
• 3:02
  I
• 3:02
  carry.
• 3:03
  I
• 3:03
  wish
• 3:04
  he
• 3:04
  saw
• 3:04
  me.
• 3:05
  I
• 3:05
  wish
• 3:05
  he
• 3:06
  listened.
• 3:07
  I
• 3:07
  wish
• 3:07
  he
• 3:07
  helped
• 3:07
  without
• 3:08
  being
• 3:08
  asked.
• 3:09
  I
• 3:09
  wish
• 3:09
  I
• 3:09
  didn't
• 3:10
  have
• 3:10
  to
• 3:10
  remind
• 3:10
  him
• 3:11
  again.
• 3:12
  I
• 3:12
  wish
• 3:12
  he
• 3:12
  just
• 3:13
  would
• 3:14
  hold
• 3:14
  me.
• 3:15
  Without
• 3:15
  wanting
• 3:16
  something
• 3:16
  else,
• 3:17
  I
• 3:17
  wish
• 3:17
  he
• 3:18
  would
• 3:18
  just
• 3:18
  rub
• 3:18
  me
• 3:18
  without
• 3:19
  wanting
• 3:19
  to
• 3:19
  like
• 3:20
  have
• 3:20
  a,
• 3:21
  you
• 3:21
  know,
• 3:21
  tit
• 3:21
  for
• 3:21
  tack
• 3:22
  kind
• 3:22
  of
• 3:22
  thing.
• 3:23
  I
• 3:23
  wish
• 3:23
  I
• 3:23
  didn't
• 3:23
  feel
• 3:23
  so
• 3:24
  alone
• 3:24
  in
• 3:24
  this
• 3:24
  marriage.
• 3:25
  That
• 3:25
  is
• 3:26
  what
• 3:26
  resentment
• 3:26
  sounds
• 3:27
  like,
• 3:28
  and
• 3:28
  so
• 3:28
  I
• 3:28
  really
• 3:28
  just
• 3:29
  wanna
• 3:29
  be
• 3:29
  very
• 3:29
  clear
• 3:30
  that
• 3:31
  this
• 3:31
  is
• 3:31
  resentment
• 3:34
  in
• 3:34
  the
• 3:35
  inaction.
• 3:37
  And
• 3:37
  what
• 3:37
  it
• 3:37
  feels
• 3:37
  like,
• 3:37
  things
• 3:38
  that
• 3:38
  you're
• 3:38
  saying,
• 3:39
  all
• 3:39
  of
• 3:39
  that,
• 3:40
  because
• 3:40
  here
• 3:40
  in
• 3:40
  the
• 3:40
  Dr.
• 3:40
  Danielle
• 3:41
  difference
• 3:41
  is
• 3:41
  that
• 3:41
  I'm
• 3:42
  listening
• 3:42
  to
• 3:42
  your
• 3:42
  words
• 3:43
  and
• 3:43
  I'm
• 3:43
  connecting
• 3:44
  them
• 3:44
  with
• 3:44
  what?
• 3:44
  With
• 3:45
  what
• 3:45
  you're
• 3:45
  actually
• 3:45
  feeling
• 3:46
  and
• 3:46
  where
• 3:46
  that
• 3:46
  actually
• 3:47
  is
• 3:47
  in
• 3:47
  your
• 3:47
  body
• 3:48
  and
• 3:48
  how
• 3:48
  we
• 3:48
  go
• 3:48
  through
• 3:48
  this.
• 3:49
  Right.
• 3:50
  And
• 3:50
  you
• 3:50
  know,
• 3:51
  the
• 3:51
  funny
• 3:51
  thing
• 3:52
  is,
• 3:52
  is
• 3:52
  that
• 3:52
  we
• 3:52
  can
• 3:52
  mask
• 3:53
  all
• 3:53
  day
• 3:53
  long.
• 3:54
  We
• 3:54
  can
• 3:54
  hide
• 3:55
  and
• 3:55
  pretend
• 3:56
  all
• 3:56
  day
• 3:56
  long,
• 3:57
  but
• 3:57
  our
• 3:57
  body
• 3:58
  knows
• 3:59
  what
• 3:59
  our
• 3:59
  mouth
• 4:00
  won't
• 4:00
  say.
• 4:00
  And
• 4:00
  thus
• 4:00
  our
• 4:01
  libido,
• 4:01
  our
• 4:01
  sexual
• 4:01
  desire
• 4:02
  is.
• 4:03
  Directly
• 4:03
  tied
• 4:04
  to
• 4:04
  our
• 4:04
  emotional
• 4:04
  safety,
• 4:05
  especially
• 4:05
  as
• 4:05
  women.
• 4:06
  If
• 4:06
  our
• 4:06
  emotional
• 4:07
  connection
• 4:07
  isn't
• 4:08
  there,
• 4:08
  then
• 4:08
  our
• 4:09
  attraction
• 4:09
  isn't
• 4:09
  there
• 4:10
  and
• 4:11
  it's
• 4:11
  not
• 4:11
  a
• 4:11
  love
• 4:12
  issue.
• 4:12
  It's
• 4:13
  not
• 4:13
  an
• 4:13
  appreciation
• 4:14
  issue.
• 4:14
  It's
• 4:14
  because
• 4:15
  our
• 4:15
  nervous
• 4:15
  system
• 4:15
  is
• 4:15
  just
• 4:16
  built
• 4:17
  to
• 4:17
  have
• 4:18
  a
• 4:18
  self-protection
• 4:18
  mode.
• 4:19
  So
• 4:20
  this
• 4:20
  physiology
• 4:21
  piece
• 4:22
  is
• 4:22
  that
• 4:23
  there
• 4:23
  are
• 4:24
  four
• 4:24
  things,
• 4:24
  four
• 4:24
  things
• 4:25
  I
• 4:25
  think
• 4:25
  I
• 4:25
  wanna
• 4:25
  go
• 4:25
  over.
• 4:26
  Um,
• 4:27
  about
• 4:27
  like
• 4:27
  the
• 4:28
  physiological
• 4:28
  piece
• 4:29
  of
• 4:30
  how
• 4:30
  resentment
• 4:31
  is
• 4:31
  killing
• 4:31
  your
• 4:32
  sexual
• 4:32
  desire.
• 4:33
  Okay?
• 4:34
  So
• 4:34
  we're
• 4:34
  gonna
• 4:34
  go
• 4:34
  there
• 4:34
  first
• 4:35
  and
• 4:35
  then
• 4:35
  we're
• 4:35
  gonna
• 4:35
  continue
• 4:36
  on.
• 4:36
  So
• 4:37
  physiologically
• 4:39
  resentment
• 4:39
  triggers
• 4:40
  chronicle
• 4:40
  sympathetic
• 4:41
  activation,
• 4:42
  so
• 4:42
  sympathetic.
• 4:42
  Nervous
• 4:43
  system
• 4:43
  activation.
• 4:44
  I
• 4:44
  don't
• 4:44
  know
• 4:44
  if
• 4:44
  you
• 4:44
  know
• 4:45
  this,
• 4:45
  but
• 4:45
  sympathetic
• 4:45
  is
• 4:46
  the
• 4:46
  fight,
• 4:47
  flight
• 4:47
  or
• 4:47
  fawn,
• 4:49
  and
• 4:49
  the
• 4:49
  parasympathetic
• 4:50
  nervous
• 4:51
  system
• 4:51
  is
• 4:51
  the
• 4:52
  rest.
• 4:52
  Digest.
• 4:53
  I'm
• 4:53
  chill.
• 4:54
  I'm
• 4:54
  cool.
• 4:55
  I'm
• 4:55
  good.
• 4:56
  Okay,
• 4:57
  but
• 4:57
  when
• 4:57
  you
• 4:58
  have
• 4:58
  resentment
• 4:58
  in
• 4:59
  your
• 4:59
  body
• 4:59
  that
• 4:59
  you
• 4:59
  don't
• 5:00
  know
• 5:00
  about,
• 5:00
  or
• 5:00
  you're
• 5:01
  not
• 5:01
  talking
• 5:01
  about
• 5:02
  or
• 5:02
  you're
• 5:02
  not
• 5:02
  addressing,
• 5:03
  again,
• 5:04
  I
• 5:04
  do
• 5:04
  root
• 5:04
  cause
• 5:05
  here
• 5:05
  so
• 5:05
  differently
• 5:05
  with
• 5:06
  the
• 5:06
  Dr.
• 5:06
  Danielle
• 5:06
  difference,
• 5:07
  resentment
• 5:08
  triggers,
• 5:09
  chronic
• 5:09
  sympathetic,
• 5:10
  pathetic
• 5:10
  activation.
• 5:11
  What
• 5:11
  that
• 5:11
  simply
• 5:12
  means
• 5:12
  is
• 5:12
  that
• 5:13
  your
• 5:13
  body
• 5:14
  is
• 5:14
  always
• 5:15
  living
• 5:15
  in
• 5:15
  fight,
• 5:16
  flight
• 5:17
  or
• 5:17
  fawn,
• 5:18
  and
• 5:19
  so
• 5:19
  a
• 5:19
  woman
• 5:19
  cannot
• 5:20
  be
• 5:20
  open
• 5:20
  in
• 5:20
  her
• 5:21
  intimacy
• 5:21
  when
• 5:21
  her
• 5:22
  nervous
• 5:22
  system
• 5:22
  is
• 5:22
  in
• 5:23
  this
• 5:23
  state.
• 5:24
  Okay.
• 5:25
  The
• 5:25
  second
• 5:26
  thing
• 5:26
  I
• 5:26
  wanna
• 5:26
  bring
• 5:26
  up
• 5:27
  is
• 5:27
  that
• 5:27
  resentment
• 5:27
  physiologically
• 5:28
  elevates
• 5:29
  your
• 5:29
  cortisol,
• 5:30
  which
• 5:30
  suppresses
• 5:31
  your
• 5:31
  sex
• 5:32
  hormones.
• 5:32
  If
• 5:33
  you
• 5:33
  have
• 5:33
  high
• 5:33
  cortisol,
• 5:34
  you're
• 5:34
  not
• 5:34
  gonna
• 5:34
  have
• 5:34
  a
• 5:34
  libido
• 5:35
  because
• 5:35
  again,
• 5:36
  you
• 5:36
  are
• 5:37
  going
• 5:37
  to,
• 5:37
  even
• 5:37
  if
• 5:37
  your
• 5:37
  cortisol
• 5:38
  is
• 5:38
  flatlined,
• 5:39
  you're
• 5:39
  not
• 5:39
  gonna
• 5:39
  have
• 5:39
  a
• 5:39
  libido
• 5:40
  because
• 5:41
  you
• 5:41
  are
• 5:41
  in
• 5:42
  fight
• 5:42
  flight.
• 5:43
  Fawn,
• 5:44
  you
• 5:44
  cannot
• 5:44
  relax
• 5:45
  into
• 5:45
  desire
• 5:46
  when
• 5:47
  your
• 5:47
  body
• 5:47
  thinks
• 5:48
  it's
• 5:48
  supposed
• 5:48
  to
• 5:48
  be
• 5:48
  on
• 5:49
  hi
• 5:49
  or,
• 5:49
  or
• 5:49
  that
• 5:49
  something
• 5:50
  is
• 5:50
  coming,
• 5:50
  like
• 5:51
  something
• 5:51
  is
• 5:51
  just
• 5:51
  bad.
• 5:53
  The
• 5:53
  third
• 5:53
  thing
• 5:53
  about
• 5:53
  resentment,
• 5:54
  what
• 5:54
  it
• 5:54
  does
• 5:54
  to
• 5:55
  your
• 5:55
  physiological
• 5:56
  being
• 5:57
  is
• 5:57
  that
• 5:57
  it
• 5:58
  changes
• 5:58
  how
• 5:58
  you
• 5:58
  experience
• 6:00
  your
• 6:00
  partner.
• 6:01
  Okay.
• 6:02
  Over
• 6:03
  time,
• 6:03
  resentment
• 6:03
  starts
• 6:04
  to
• 6:04
  shift
• 6:04
  your
• 6:04
  perception.
• 6:05
  You
• 6:05
  stop
• 6:05
  seeing
• 6:06
  him
• 6:06
  as
• 6:06
  a
• 6:06
  partner
• 6:06
  and
• 6:06
  instead
• 6:07
  he
• 6:07
  is
• 6:07
  an
• 6:07
  enemy.
• 6:08
  You
• 6:08
  start
• 6:08
  seeing
• 6:09
  him
• 6:09
  as
• 6:09
  a
• 6:09
  stressor
• 6:11
  and
• 6:11
  you
• 6:11
  cannot
• 6:12
  desire
• 6:12
  what
• 6:12
  your
• 6:12
  body
• 6:13
  perceives
• 6:13
  as
• 6:13
  burdensome.
• 6:15
  Okay.
• 6:16
  The
• 6:16
  fourth
• 6:16
  thing
• 6:17
  is
• 6:17
  that
• 6:17
  physiologically,
• 6:18
  your,
• 6:18
  your
• 6:19
  resentment
• 6:19
  creates
• 6:20
  emotional
• 6:20
  disconnection,
• 6:21
  and
• 6:22
  women
• 6:22
  actually
• 6:23
  need
• 6:23
  to
• 6:23
  feel
• 6:24
  safe.
• 6:24
  They
• 6:24
  need
• 6:24
  to
• 6:24
  feel
• 6:25
  softness,
• 6:25
  emotional
• 6:26
  connection.
• 6:27
  They
• 6:27
  need
• 6:27
  to
• 6:27
  feel
• 6:27
  like
• 6:27
  they're
• 6:27
  being
• 6:28
  seen,
• 6:28
  they're
• 6:28
  being
• 6:29
  held,
• 6:29
  being
• 6:29
  supported,
• 6:30
  being
• 6:30
  provided
• 6:30
  for,
• 6:31
  being
• 6:31
  protected.
• 6:32
  All
• 6:33
  of
• 6:33
  that
• 6:33
  has
• 6:34
  to
• 6:34
  be
• 6:34
  there
• 6:34
  for
• 6:34
  you
• 6:34
  to
• 6:34
  feel
• 6:35
  desire.
• 6:36
  You
• 6:37
  cannot
• 6:37
  want
• 6:37
  someone
• 6:38
  you
• 6:39
  feel
• 6:39
  alone
• 6:40
  next
• 6:40
  to
• 6:41
  you.
• 6:41
  Know
• 6:41
  what
• 6:41
  I'm
• 6:41
  saying?
• 6:42
  So
• 6:43
  these
• 6:43
  four
• 6:44
  things
• 6:44
  actually
• 6:45
  are
• 6:45
  the
• 6:45
  physiological
• 6:47
  issue
• 6:47
  when
• 6:47
  it
• 6:47
  comes
• 6:48
  to
• 6:48
  sexual
• 6:48
  desire
• 6:49
  and
• 6:49
  your
• 6:50
  marriage
• 6:50
  and
• 6:50
  your
• 6:50
  libido
• 6:51
  and
• 6:51
  all
• 6:51
  of
• 6:51
  this.
• 6:51
  Okay?
• 6:52
  So
• 6:52
  that's
• 6:53
  physiological
• 6:53
  piece.
• 6:55
  Here's
• 6:56
  how
• 6:56
  resentment
• 6:56
  actually
• 6:57
  sneaks
• 6:57
  in.
• 6:58
  It's
• 6:59
  in
• 6:59
  the
• 6:59
  thousands
• 7:00
  of
• 7:00
  tiny
• 7:00
  moments
• 7:01
  that
• 7:01
  you
• 7:01
  swallow
• 7:02
  because
• 7:02
  you
• 7:02
  don't
• 7:02
  wanna
• 7:02
  be
• 7:03
  dramatic,
• 7:04
  nagging
• 7:05
  too
• 7:05
  much
• 7:05
  or
• 7:06
  ungrateful.
• 7:07
  It's
• 7:08
  every
• 7:09
  dish
• 7:09
  you
• 7:09
  washed
• 7:10
  after
• 7:11
  you
• 7:11
  asked
• 7:11
  for
• 7:11
  help.
• 7:12
  It's
• 7:12
  every
• 7:13
  time
• 7:13
  you
• 7:13
  take
• 7:13
  the
• 7:13
  trash
• 7:14
  out
• 7:14
  and
• 7:15
  you
• 7:15
  had
• 7:15
  already
• 7:15
  asked,
• 7:16
  Hey,
• 7:16
  can
• 7:16
  you
• 7:16
  take
• 7:16
  the
• 7:16
  trash
• 7:17
  out
• 7:17
  this
• 7:17
  week?
• 7:17
  Can
• 7:17
  you
• 7:17
  take
• 7:18
  the
• 7:18
  trash
• 7:18
  down
• 7:18
  to
• 7:18
  the
• 7:18
  curb?
• 7:19
  It's
• 7:19
  every
• 7:20
  night
• 7:20
  that
• 7:20
  you
• 7:20
  handled
• 7:21
  bedtime
• 7:21
  because
• 7:21
  you're
• 7:21
  quote
• 7:22
  unquote
• 7:22
  better
• 7:22
  at
• 7:23
  it.
• 7:23
  It's
• 7:23
  being
• 7:24
  the
• 7:24
  d
• 7:24
  the
• 7:25
  default
• 7:25
  parent,
• 7:26
  the
• 7:26
  the
• 7:26
  primary
• 7:27
  parent,
• 7:27
  I
• 7:27
  think
• 7:27
  is
• 7:27
  like
• 7:27
  the
• 7:28
  terminology
• 7:28
  now.
• 7:29
  It's
• 7:29
  the
• 7:29
  emotional
• 7:30
  being,
• 7:30
  the
• 7:30
  emotional
• 7:31
  thermostat
• 7:31
  of
• 7:32
  the
• 7:32
  home.
• 7:32
  It's
• 7:33
  being
• 7:33
  the
• 7:33
  one
• 7:34
  who
• 7:34
  remembers
• 7:35
  appointments
• 7:35
  and
• 7:35
  groceries
• 7:36
  and
• 7:36
  laundries
• 7:36
  and
• 7:36
  bills
• 7:37
  and
• 7:37
  birthdays,
• 7:37
  and
• 7:37
  permission
• 7:38
  slips,
• 7:38
  and
• 7:38
  just
• 7:39
  being
• 7:39
  told,
• 7:39
  just
• 7:39
  remind
• 7:40
  me
• 7:40
  if
• 7:40
  you
• 7:40
  need
• 7:40
  anything.
• 7:42
  This
• 7:43
  is
• 7:43
  where
• 7:43
  resentment
• 7:43
  starts
• 7:44
  to
• 7:44
  sneak
• 7:44
  in
• 7:44
  and
• 7:45
  no,
• 7:45
  it's
• 7:45
  like
• 7:46
  it
• 7:47
  you,
• 7:47
  you
• 7:47
  do
• 7:48
  have
• 7:48
  permission
• 7:48
  to
• 7:48
  resent,
• 7:49
  you
• 7:49
  know
• 7:49
  this
• 7:50
  like
• 7:50
  right.
• 7:50
  You're
• 7:51
  not
• 7:51
  crazy
• 7:51
  for
• 7:51
  resenting
• 7:52
  this
• 7:52
  kind
• 7:52
  of
• 7:52
  behavior,
• 7:53
  but
• 7:53
  resentment
• 7:54
  isn't
• 7:54
  over
• 7:55
  just
• 7:55
  one
• 7:56
  thing.
• 7:57
  It's
• 7:57
  over.
• 7:58
  Being,
• 7:59
  being
• 7:59
  the
• 8:00
  one
• 8:00
  who
• 8:00
  is
• 8:00
  always
• 8:01
  having
• 8:01
  to
• 8:01
  hold
• 8:02
  everything
• 8:02
  and
• 8:02
  do
• 8:02
  everything
• 8:03
  and
• 8:03
  remember
• 8:03
  everything
• 8:04
  and
• 8:04
  think
• 8:04
  through
• 8:04
  everything
• 8:04
  and
• 8:05
  like
• 8:05
  think
• 8:05
  ahead
• 8:05
  16
• 8:06
  steps
• 8:06
  like
• 8:06
  the,
• 8:06
  you
• 8:07
  know,
• 8:07
  all
• 8:07
  of
• 8:07
  the
• 8:07
  stuff.
• 8:08
  And
• 8:08
  attraction
• 8:09
  doesn't
• 8:09
  grow
• 8:09
  in
• 8:09
  a
• 8:10
  system.
• 8:10
  I'm
• 8:10
  gonna
• 8:10
  say
• 8:11
  system
• 8:11
  very
• 8:11
  specifically
• 8:12
  here.
• 8:13
  Attraction
• 8:13
  doesn't
• 8:13
  grow
• 8:14
  in
• 8:14
  a
• 8:14
  system
• 8:14
  that
• 8:14
  feels
• 8:15
  unseen
• 8:16
  or
• 8:16
  unsupported.
• 8:17
  Okay?
• 8:18
  So
• 8:19
  we
• 8:19
  have
• 8:19
  the
• 8:19
  physiological
• 8:20
  and
• 8:20
  then
• 8:20
  we
• 8:21
  have
• 8:21
  how
• 8:21
  it
• 8:21
  starts
• 8:22
  to
• 8:22
  happen.
• 8:22
  Okay?
• 8:23
  Now
• 8:23
  we're
• 8:23
  gonna
• 8:23
  move
• 8:24
  into
• 8:24
  the
• 8:24
  spiritual
• 8:25
  layer
• 8:25
  because.
• 8:26
  Resentment
• 8:27
  isn't
• 8:27
  just
• 8:27
  physiological
• 8:28
  and
• 8:28
  emotional,
• 8:28
  it's
• 8:29
  also
• 8:29
  spiritual.
• 8:30
  And
• 8:30
  resentment
• 8:31
  often
• 8:31
  reveals
• 8:32
  a
• 8:32
  place
• 8:32
  where
• 8:32
  you've
• 8:33
  been
• 8:33
  abandoning
• 8:33
  your
• 8:34
  own
• 8:34
  needs,
• 8:35
  where
• 8:35
  you
• 8:35
  have
• 8:35
  lost
• 8:36
  your
• 8:36
  voice.
• 8:36
  Maybe,
• 8:37
  maybe
• 8:37
  you've
• 8:37
  carried
• 8:37
  responsibilities
• 8:38
  that
• 8:38
  God's
• 8:39
  never
• 8:39
  asked
• 8:39
  you
• 8:39
  to
• 8:39
  carry.
• 8:40
  Maybe
• 8:41
  it
• 8:41
  is
• 8:41
  that
• 8:42
  you've
• 8:42
  taken
• 8:42
  on
• 8:42
  emotional
• 8:43
  loads
• 8:43
  that
• 8:43
  were
• 8:43
  never
• 8:44
  yours
• 8:44
  to
• 8:44
  carry.
• 8:45
  Maybe
• 8:45
  you
• 8:45
  have
• 8:45
  forgotten
• 8:46
  that
• 8:46
  you
• 8:47
  matter
• 8:47
  too,
• 8:48
  and
• 8:48
  other
• 8:48
  people
• 8:49
  aren't.
• 8:50
  Meaning
• 8:50
  that
• 8:50
  either
• 8:51
  maybe
• 8:52
  it
• 8:52
  is
• 8:52
  a
• 8:52
  place
• 8:53
  where
• 8:53
  you
• 8:53
  have
• 8:53
  accepted
• 8:53
  self
• 8:54
  neglect
• 8:54
  as
• 8:55
  normal.
• 8:56
  You
• 8:56
  cannot
• 8:57
  steward
• 8:58
  or
• 8:58
  have
• 8:58
  intimacy
• 8:59
  when
• 8:59
  you
• 9:00
  have
• 9:00
  stopped
• 9:00
  stewarding
• 9:01
  yourself.
• 9:02
  And
• 9:02
  it's
• 9:02
  not
• 9:02
  like,
• 9:03
  it
• 9:03
  doesn't,
• 9:03
  it's
• 9:03
  like,
• 9:04
  oh,
• 9:04
  I'm
• 9:04
  gonna
• 9:04
  make
• 9:04
  this
• 9:05
  decision
• 9:05
  that
• 9:05
  I'm
• 9:05
  not
• 9:05
  gonna
• 9:05
  take
• 9:06
  care
• 9:06
  of
• 9:06
  myself.
• 9:07
  It's
• 9:07
  because
• 9:07
  you
• 9:07
  have
• 9:07
  nothing
• 9:08
  left
• 9:08
  to
• 9:08
  give.
• 9:09
  You
• 9:09
  have
• 9:09
  nothing
• 9:09
  left
• 9:09
  to
• 9:09
  give
• 9:10
  to
• 9:10
  yourself.
• 9:11
  So
• 9:11
  resentment
• 9:11
  is
• 9:11
  your
• 9:12
  soul's
• 9:12
  way
• 9:12
  of
• 9:12
  saying,
• 9:13
  um,
• 9:13
  I
• 9:13
  need
• 9:14
  the
• 9:14
  God-given
• 9:14
  rest
• 9:15
  that
• 9:15
  I'm
• 9:15
  supposed
• 9:15
  to
• 9:16
  have
• 9:16
  and
• 9:16
  supposed
• 9:16
  to
• 9:16
  be
• 9:16
  provided.
• 9:17
  Uh,
• 9:17
  I
• 9:18
  need
• 9:18
  support
• 9:18
  like
• 9:19
  that
• 9:19
  small
• 9:20
  group
• 9:20
  or
• 9:20
  these
• 9:20
  other
• 9:20
  things
• 9:21
  are
• 9:21
  supposed
• 9:21
  to
• 9:21
  be
• 9:21
  providing
• 9:22
  me.
• 9:22
  I
• 9:22
  need
• 9:23
  connection
• 9:23
  that
• 9:24
  my
• 9:24
  thought,
• 9:24
  my
• 9:24
  small
• 9:25
  group
• 9:25
  and
• 9:25
  my
• 9:25
  faith
• 9:25
  life
• 9:26
  and
• 9:26
  all
• 9:26
  of
• 9:26
  this
• 9:26
  was
• 9:26
  supposed
• 9:27
  to
• 9:27
  do.
• 9:27
  Because
• 9:27
  sometimes
• 9:28
  small
• 9:28
  group
• 9:28
  can
• 9:29
  become
• 9:29
  another
• 9:29
  check
• 9:29
  mark,
• 9:30
  another
• 9:30
  to-do,
• 9:31
  and
• 9:31
  you're
• 9:31
  actually
• 9:31
  not
• 9:32
  making
• 9:32
  that
• 9:32
  connection.
• 9:32
  You're
• 9:32
  not
• 9:33
  actually
• 9:33
  getting
• 9:33
  resting,
• 9:33
  you're
• 9:34
  not
• 9:34
  getting
• 9:34
  built
• 9:34
  up
• 9:34
  and
• 9:34
  encouraged
• 9:35
  in
• 9:35
  that.
• 9:35
  And
• 9:36
  it's
• 9:36
  also.
• 9:37
  Your
• 9:37
  soul's
• 9:38
  way
• 9:38
  of
• 9:38
  saying,
• 9:39
  I
• 9:39
  need
• 9:39
  something
• 9:40
  to
• 9:40
  change.
• 9:41
  That's
• 9:41
  where
• 9:41
  resentment
• 9:42
  is.
• 9:42
  Okay.
• 9:43
  So
• 9:44
  there's
• 9:44
  this
• 9:45
  like
• 9:45
  larger
• 9:45
  component
• 9:46
  when
• 9:46
  it
• 9:46
  comes
• 9:46
  to
• 9:46
  resentment,
• 9:47
  when
• 9:47
  it
• 9:47
  comes
• 9:47
  to
• 9:47
  all
• 9:48
  of
• 9:48
  this.
• 9:48
  And
• 9:48
  again,
• 9:48
  I'm
• 9:48
  talking
• 9:49
  about
• 9:49
  this
• 9:49
  in
• 9:49
  February
• 9:50
  because
• 9:50
  we
• 9:51
  are
• 9:51
  going
• 9:51
  to
• 9:52
  four
• 9:52
  days
• 9:52
  away,
• 9:53
  we're
• 9:53
  gonna
• 9:53
  have
• 9:53
  Valentine's
• 9:54
  Day.
• 9:54
  And
• 9:55
  Valentine's
• 9:55
  Day
• 9:55
  just
• 9:55
  kind
• 9:56
  of
• 9:56
  brings
• 9:56
  some
• 9:56
  things
• 9:57
  to
• 9:57
  the
• 9:57
  surface,
• 9:57
  but
• 9:57
  it
• 9:57
  also
• 9:58
  happens
• 9:59
  in
• 9:59
  women
• 10:00
  throughout
• 10:00
  the
• 10:00
  seasons,
• 10:01
  right?
• 10:01
  Like
• 10:01
  things
• 10:02
  can
• 10:02
  change
• 10:02
  and
• 10:02
  make
• 10:02
  us
• 10:03
  feel
• 10:03
  resentful
• 10:03
  and
• 10:03
  so
• 10:04
  forth.
• 10:04
  So
• 10:05
  here's
• 10:05
  what
• 10:05
  you
• 10:05
  can
• 10:05
  do
• 10:06
  right
• 10:06
  now.
• 10:07
  And
• 10:07
  this
• 10:07
  is
• 10:07
  the
• 10:07
  place
• 10:08
  that
• 10:08
  I
• 10:08
  start
• 10:08
  when
• 10:08
  I'm
• 10:08
  talking
• 10:09
  with
• 10:09
  women
• 10:09
  all
• 10:10
  the
• 10:10
  time,
• 10:10
  is
• 10:10
  that
• 10:10
  number
• 10:11
  one,
• 10:11
  you
• 10:12
  have
• 10:12
  to
• 10:12
  be
• 10:12
  honest.
• 10:13
  You
• 10:13
  have
• 10:14
  to
• 10:15
  bring
• 10:15
  honesty
• 10:16
  out
• 10:17
  of
• 10:17
  your
• 10:17
  head.
• 10:18
  You
• 10:18
  have
• 10:18
  to
• 10:19
  be
• 10:19
  so
• 10:19
  radically
• 10:20
  honest
• 10:20
  that
• 10:21
  you.
• 10:22
  Are
• 10:22
  able
• 10:22
  to
• 10:22
  then
• 10:23
  speak
• 10:23
  up
• 10:24
  because
• 10:24
  if
• 10:25
  you
• 10:25
  are
• 10:25
  not
• 10:25
  honest,
• 10:26
  resentment
• 10:27
  grows
• 10:27
  in
• 10:27
  the
• 10:27
  dark.
• 10:28
  It
• 10:28
  re
• 10:28
  it,
• 10:28
  it
• 10:29
  grows
• 10:29
  when
• 10:29
  you
• 10:29
  don't
• 10:30
  speak
• 10:30
  it
• 10:30
  when
• 10:30
  you
• 10:30
  harbor.
• 10:31
  Resentment
• 10:32
  is
• 10:32
  when
• 10:33
  it
• 10:33
  grows
• 10:33
  and
• 10:34
  you
• 10:34
  can
• 10:34
  speak
• 10:35
  it,
• 10:35
  name
• 10:35
  it,
• 10:36
  bring
• 10:36
  it
• 10:36
  out
• 10:37
  even
• 10:37
  privately
• 10:38
  with
• 10:38
  God
• 10:38
  in
• 10:38
  a
• 10:38
  journal
• 10:39
  with
• 10:39
  yourself.
• 10:39
  Say
• 10:40
  it
• 10:40
  out
• 10:40
  loud.
• 10:42
  What
• 10:42
  are
• 10:42
  you
• 10:43
  being
• 10:43
  resentful
• 10:44
  for?
• 10:45
  The
• 10:46
  second
• 10:46
  thing
• 10:46
  you
• 10:46
  can
• 10:46
  do
• 10:47
  is
• 10:47
  that
• 10:47
  you
• 10:47
  need
• 10:47
  to
• 10:47
  identify
• 10:48
  what
• 10:48
  resentments
• 10:49
  are
• 10:49
  rooted
• 10:50
  in.
• 10:50
  Um,
• 10:51
  like
• 10:51
  what
• 10:51
  unmet
• 10:52
  needs
• 10:52
  do
• 10:52
  you
• 10:52
  have?
• 10:53
  Because
• 10:54
  most
• 10:54
  resentment
• 10:55
  that
• 10:55
  you
• 10:55
  have
• 10:55
  is
• 10:55
  not
• 10:56
  about
• 10:56
  a
• 10:56
  person,
• 10:57
  your
• 10:57
  spouse,
• 10:57
  or
• 10:58
  anything
• 10:58
  else.
• 10:58
  Most
• 10:58
  resentment
• 10:59
  you
• 10:59
  have
• 11:00
  is
• 11:00
  that
• 11:01
  your
• 11:01
  needs
• 11:02
  are
• 11:02
  not
• 11:02
  being
• 11:03
  met,
• 11:03
  you're
• 11:03
  not
• 11:03
  being
• 11:04
  validated,
• 11:04
  you're
• 11:04
  not
• 11:05
  being
• 11:05
  seen,
• 11:06
  and
• 11:06
  usually.
• 11:08
  That
• 11:08
  comes
• 11:08
  from
• 11:09
  not
• 11:09
  communicating
• 11:10
  because
• 11:11
  you
• 11:11
  think
• 11:11
  that
• 11:11
  you
• 11:11
  have
• 11:12
  to
• 11:12
  keep
• 11:12
  everything
• 11:13
  going
• 11:13
  and
• 11:13
  as
• 11:13
  soon
• 11:14
  as
• 11:14
  you
• 11:14
  stop
• 11:14
  and
• 11:14
  start
• 11:14
  communicating,
• 11:15
  things
• 11:15
  are
• 11:16
  gonna
• 11:16
  be
• 11:16
  done
• 11:16
  the
• 11:16
  way
• 11:16
  you
• 11:16
  want
• 11:17
  them
• 11:17
  done
• 11:17
  or
• 11:18
  on
• 11:18
  your
• 11:18
  timely
• 11:18
  fashion.
• 11:19
  Or
• 11:19
  maybe
• 11:20
  you
• 11:20
  need
• 11:20
  to
• 11:20
  say,
• 11:20
  Hey,
• 11:21
  can
• 11:21
  you
• 11:21
  do
• 11:21
  this
• 11:21
  tonight?
• 11:22
  Like
• 11:22
  you
• 11:22
  are
• 11:22
  not
• 11:23
  having
• 11:23
  direct
• 11:24
  communication.
• 11:25
  And
• 11:25
  so
• 11:25
  how
• 11:26
  identify
• 11:26
  what
• 11:27
  resentments
• 11:27
  are
• 11:27
  rooted
• 11:28
  in
• 11:28
  your
• 11:28
  unmet
• 11:29
  needs.
• 11:30
  The
• 11:30
  third
• 11:30
  thing
• 11:30
  you
• 11:30
  can
• 11:31
  do
• 11:31
  is
• 11:31
  stop
• 11:31
  spiritualizing
• 11:32
  yourself
• 11:33
  neglect.
• 11:33
  And
• 11:33
  this
• 11:33
  one
• 11:33
  is
• 11:34
  the
• 11:34
  biggest
• 11:34
  for
• 11:34
  Christian
• 11:34
  women
• 11:35
  and
• 11:35
  it
• 11:35
  annoys
• 11:35
  a
• 11:36
  snot
• 11:36
  outta
• 11:36
  me.
• 11:38
  If
• 11:38
  you
• 11:38
  don't
• 11:39
  take
• 11:39
  care
• 11:39
  of
• 11:39
  yourself.
• 11:40
  It's
• 11:40
  called
• 11:41
  self
• 11:41
  betrayal.
• 11:42
  You're
• 11:43
  not
• 11:43
  taking
• 11:43
  care
• 11:43
  of
• 11:44
  yourself.
• 11:44
  That
• 11:44
  is
• 11:44
  not
• 11:45
  biblical.
• 11:46
  Biblical
• 11:47
  does
• 11:47
  not
• 11:47
  mean
• 11:48
  that
• 11:48
  you
• 11:48
  go
• 11:49
  and
• 11:49
  yes,
• 11:49
  we
• 11:49
  are
• 11:49
  supposed
• 11:50
  to
• 11:50
  go
• 11:50
  and
• 11:50
  serve
• 11:51
  our
• 11:51
  fellow
• 11:51
  people,
• 11:52
  but
• 11:52
  we
• 11:52
  are
• 11:52
  also
• 11:52
  supposed
• 11:53
  to
• 11:53
  honor
• 11:53
  God
• 11:54
  and
• 11:54
  fall
• 11:54
  underneath
• 11:54
  his
• 11:55
  domain
• 11:55
  first,
• 11:56
  and
• 11:56
  then
• 11:56
  we
• 11:56
  go
• 11:57
  and
• 11:57
  serve
• 11:57
  people.
• 11:58
  We
• 11:58
  have
• 11:58
  to
• 11:58
  get
• 11:59
  our
• 11:59
  needs
• 11:59
  met
• 11:59
  first.
• 12:00
  We
• 12:00
  have
• 12:00
  to
• 12:00
  be
• 12:00
  fulfilled,
• 12:01
  nourished,
• 12:01
  are
• 12:02
  spiritually,
• 12:02
  emotionally,
• 12:03
  mentally.
• 12:03
  Physically,
• 12:04
  we
• 12:04
  need
• 12:05
  to
• 12:05
  get
• 12:05
  our
• 12:05
  workout
• 12:06
  in
• 12:06
  and
• 12:06
  make
• 12:06
  sure
• 12:06
  that
• 12:06
  we're
• 12:06
  actually
• 12:07
  taking
• 12:07
  care
• 12:07
  of
• 12:07
  our
• 12:07
  physical
• 12:08
  body
• 12:08
  that
• 12:08
  God
• 12:09
  gave
• 12:09
  us
• 12:09
  to
• 12:09
  go
• 12:09
  and
• 12:09
  do
• 12:09
  all
• 12:10
  these
• 12:10
  things
• 12:10
  in.
• 12:10
  Because
• 12:11
  if
• 12:11
  we're
• 12:11
  not
• 12:11
  doing
• 12:11
  that,
• 12:11
  then
• 12:12
  we
• 12:12
  become
• 12:12
  someone
• 12:12
  else's
• 12:12
  burden.
• 12:15
  And
• 12:15
  ignoring
• 12:16
  your
• 12:16
  needs
• 12:17
  is
• 12:17
  not
• 12:17
  sacrificial
• 12:18
  love.
• 12:18
  It
• 12:18
  is.
• 12:19
  It
• 12:19
  is
• 12:20
  a
• 12:20
  lack
• 12:20
  of
• 12:20
  holiness
• 12:21
  and
• 12:21
  it
• 12:21
  is
• 12:21
  laziness,
• 12:22
  and
• 12:22
  it
• 12:22
  is
• 12:22
  not
• 12:23
  something
• 12:23
  that
• 12:23
  you
• 12:24
  are
• 12:24
  supposed
• 12:24
  to
• 12:24
  do
• 12:24
  because
• 12:24
  you
• 12:25
  become
• 12:25
  someone
• 12:25
  else's
• 12:25
  burden.
• 12:26
  You
• 12:27
  can't
• 12:27
  love
• 12:27
  your
• 12:27
  neighbor
• 12:28
  as
• 12:28
  yourself
• 12:28
  if
• 12:28
  you
• 12:29
  haven't
• 12:30
  loved
• 12:30
  yourself
• 12:30
  first.
• 12:32
  And
• 12:33
  I
• 12:33
  don't
• 12:33
  say
• 12:33
  that
• 12:33
  as
• 12:34
  in
• 12:34
  love
• 12:34
  yourself.
• 12:35
  Like,
• 12:35
  oh,
• 12:35
  I
• 12:35
  gotta
• 12:35
  learn
• 12:36
  to
• 12:36
  love
• 12:36
  myself,
• 12:36
  and
• 12:36
  no.
• 12:37
  What
• 12:37
  I
• 12:37
  mean
• 12:37
  by
• 12:37
  that
• 12:39
  is
• 12:39
  if
• 12:39
  you
• 12:39
  don't
• 12:40
  have
• 12:40
  any
• 12:40
  self
• 12:40
  left,
• 12:42
  how
• 12:43
  are
• 12:43
  you
• 12:43
  going
• 12:43
  to
• 12:43
  love
• 12:44
  your
• 12:44
  neighbors
• 12:44
  yourself
• 12:45
  if
• 12:45
  you
• 12:45
  don't
• 12:45
  even
• 12:45
  have
• 12:46
  a
• 12:46
  self
• 12:46
  left,
• 12:49
  loving
• 12:50
  yourself
• 12:50
  looks
• 12:50
  like
• 12:51
  falling
• 12:51
  under
• 12:51
  God's
• 12:52
  domain.
• 12:53
  Loving
• 12:54
  God
• 12:54
  with
• 12:54
  all
• 12:54
  your
• 12:54
  heart,
• 12:55
  your
• 12:56
  soul,
• 12:57
  your
• 12:57
  mind,
• 12:58
  and
• 12:58
  your
• 12:58
  strength.
• 12:59
  And
• 12:59
  when
• 12:59
  you
• 12:59
  do
• 13:00
  that,
• 13:00
  you
• 13:00
  make
• 13:00
  decisions
• 13:01
  out
• 13:01
  of
• 13:01
  that
• 13:01
  that
• 13:02
  look
• 13:02
  like,
• 13:03
  oh,
• 13:03
  I'm
• 13:03
  going
• 13:04
  to
• 13:04
  take
• 13:04
  care
• 13:04
  of
• 13:04
  myself
• 13:05
  so
• 13:05
  I
• 13:05
  can
• 13:05
  continue
• 13:06
  to
• 13:06
  further
• 13:07
  God's
• 13:07
  mission.
• 13:11
  The
• 13:11
  fourth
• 13:12
  thing
• 13:12
  that
• 13:12
  we
• 13:12
  gotta
• 13:12
  do
• 13:13
  is
• 13:13
  we've
• 13:13
  gotta
• 13:13
  repair
• 13:14
  our
• 13:14
  nervous
• 13:14
  system.
• 13:15
  And
• 13:15
  people
• 13:16
  are
• 13:16
  gonna
• 13:16
  make
• 13:16
  this
• 13:16
  so
• 13:16
  overly
• 13:17
  complicated.
• 13:17
  It's
• 13:18
  not.
• 13:19
  We
• 13:19
  repair
• 13:19
  our
• 13:19
  nervous
• 13:20
  system
• 13:20
  by
• 13:20
  simply
• 13:21
  our
• 13:21
  maintaining
• 13:22
  our
• 13:22
  blood
• 13:22
  sugar,
• 13:23
  getting
• 13:23
  your
• 13:23
  blood
• 13:24
  sugar
• 13:24
  under
• 13:24
  control,
• 13:24
  and
• 13:25
  that
• 13:25
  requires
• 13:25
  nutrition
• 13:26
  support.
• 13:26
  Like
• 13:26
  in
• 13:26
  My
• 13:27
  Blood
• 13:27
  Sugar
• 13:27
  Explorers,
• 13:28
  it
• 13:28
  requires
• 13:28
  you
• 13:29
  getting
• 13:29
  enough
• 13:29
  protein
• 13:30
  in,
• 13:30
  and
• 13:30
  if
• 13:30
  you're
• 13:31
  getting
• 13:31
  80
• 13:31
  to
• 13:31
  a
• 13:31
  hundred
• 13:32
  grams,
• 13:32
  you're
• 13:32
  not
• 13:32
  getting
• 13:32
  enough.
• 13:33
  And
• 13:33
  I
• 13:33
  don't
• 13:33
  even
• 13:33
  care
• 13:33
  who
• 13:33
  you
• 13:34
  are,
• 13:34
  where
• 13:34
  you
• 13:34
  are.
• 13:35
  If
• 13:35
  you're
• 13:35
  an
• 13:36
  adult
• 13:36
  woman
• 13:36
  listening
• 13:36
  to
• 13:36
  this,
• 13:37
  you
• 13:37
  need
• 13:37
  more.
• 13:39
  You
• 13:40
  need
• 13:40
  to
• 13:40
  get
• 13:40
  your
• 13:40
  sleep.
• 13:41
  The,
• 13:42
  the
• 13:42
  whole
• 13:42
  notion
• 13:42
  of
• 13:42
  I'll
• 13:42
  sleep
• 13:43
  when
• 13:43
  I'm
• 13:43
  dead.
• 13:43
  No,
• 13:43
  you're
• 13:44
  gonna
• 13:44
  be
• 13:44
  dead
• 13:44
  sooner.
• 13:44
  And
• 13:45
  then
• 13:45
  thus,
• 13:45
  you're
• 13:45
  not
• 13:45
  gonna
• 13:45
  be
• 13:45
  able
• 13:46
  to
• 13:46
  do
• 13:46
  all
• 13:46
  the
• 13:46
  things
• 13:46
  that
• 13:46
  God's
• 13:47
  asked
• 13:47
  you
• 13:47
  to
• 13:47
  do
• 13:47
  and,
• 13:48
  and
• 13:48
  you're
• 13:48
  gonna
• 13:48
  have
• 13:48
  people
• 13:49
  that
• 13:49
  are
• 13:49
  gonna
• 13:49
  be
• 13:49
  really
• 13:49
  upset
• 13:50
  and
• 13:50
  sad
• 13:50
  and
• 13:51
  all
• 13:51
  of
• 13:51
  the
• 13:51
  things
• 13:52
  sleep
• 13:52
  now
• 13:53
  seven
• 13:53
  to
• 13:53
  nine
• 13:53
  hours.
• 13:54
  Get
• 13:55
  your
• 13:55
  hydration
• 13:55
  in.
• 13:56
  Quit
• 13:56
  making
• 13:56
  excuses
• 13:57
  about
• 13:57
  hydration.
• 13:58
  If
• 13:58
  you
• 13:58
  don't
• 13:58
  know
• 13:58
  how
• 13:59
  to
• 13:59
  hydrate,
• 13:59
  get
• 13:59
  into
• 14:00
  that
• 14:00
  episode,
• 14:00
  um,
• 14:01
  back
• 14:01
  in
• 14:01
  August
• 14:01
  or
• 14:01
  September
• 14:02
  that
• 14:02
  I
• 14:02
  did
• 14:02
  about
• 14:03
  hydration
• 14:03
  and
• 14:04
  distilled
• 14:04
  water.
• 14:04
  Why
• 14:04
  I
• 14:04
  drink
• 14:05
  distilled
• 14:05
  water.
• 14:05
  Get
• 14:06
  into
• 14:06
  that
• 14:06
  episode.
• 14:07
  Get
• 14:07
  yourself
• 14:07
  hydrated.
• 14:08
  That
• 14:08
  is
• 14:08
  the
• 14:08
  cheapest
• 14:09
  and
• 14:09
  easiest
• 14:09
  thing
• 14:09
  that
• 14:09
  we
• 14:10
  can
• 14:10
  do
• 14:10
  to
• 14:10
  take
• 14:10
  care
• 14:10
  of
• 14:10
  ourselves.
• 14:11
  Set
• 14:12
  yourself
• 14:12
  some
• 14:12
  rhythm.
• 14:13
  Don't
• 14:14
  let
• 14:14
  life
• 14:14
  happen
• 14:14
  to
• 14:15
  you.
• 14:15
  Be
• 14:15
  in
• 14:15
  control
• 14:16
  of
• 14:16
  life
• 14:16
  as
• 14:16
  much
• 14:17
  as
• 14:17
  you
• 14:17
  can.
• 14:18
  Get
• 14:18
  a
• 14:18
  rhythm
• 14:19
  going
• 14:19
  where
• 14:19
  you
• 14:19
  are
• 14:20
  taking
• 14:20
  care
• 14:20
  of
• 14:20
  your,
• 14:21
  of
• 14:21
  your
• 14:22
  spiritual
• 14:22
  life,
• 14:22
  your
• 14:22
  physical
• 14:23
  life,
• 14:23
  your
• 14:23
  relationships,
• 14:25
  and
• 14:25
  create
• 14:26
  some
• 14:26
  predictability
• 14:27
  in
• 14:27
  your
• 14:27
  life.
• 14:27
  That
• 14:27
  is
• 14:27
  the
• 14:27
  fourth
• 14:28
  thing.
• 14:28
  The
• 14:28
  fourth
• 14:29
  thing
• 14:29
  with
• 14:29
  the
• 14:30
  um,
• 14:30
  is
• 14:31
  repairing
• 14:31
  your
• 14:31
  nervous
• 14:32
  system.
• 14:32
  It
• 14:32
  is
• 14:32
  that
• 14:32
  simple,
• 14:33
  honestly.
• 14:33
  It
• 14:33
  is
• 14:33
  that
• 14:34
  simple.
• 14:35
  And
• 14:35
  then
• 14:35
  the
• 14:35
  fifth
• 14:35
  thing
• 14:36
  I
• 14:36
  would
• 14:36
  have
• 14:36
  you
• 14:36
  do
• 14:37
  is
• 14:37
  to
• 14:38
  do
• 14:39
  resentment
• 14:39
  work
• 14:40
  inside
• 14:40
  of
• 14:40
  a
• 14:40
  supportive
• 14:41
  container.
• 14:42
  You
• 14:42
  cannot
• 14:43
  do
• 14:43
  resentment
• 14:43
  lo
• 14:44
  work
• 14:44
  alone.
• 14:45
  You
• 14:45
  cannot
• 14:45
  do
• 14:45
  identity
• 14:46
  work
• 14:46
  alone.
• 14:46
  You
• 14:47
  cannot
• 14:47
  do
• 14:47
  nervous
• 14:47
  system
• 14:48
  repair
• 14:48
  alone.
• 14:48
  And
• 14:49
  that's
• 14:49
  why
• 14:49
  it
• 14:49
  adventures
• 14:50
  at
• 14:50
  daring
• 14:50
  with
• 14:50
  a
• 14:50
  marriage.
• 14:52
  'cause
• 14:52
  we
• 14:52
  start
• 14:52
  with
• 14:52
  you.
• 14:53
  Everything
• 14:54
  has
• 14:54
  to
• 14:54
  do
• 14:54
  with
• 14:54
  you,
• 14:55
  your
• 14:56
  identity,
• 14:56
  your
• 14:56
  regulation,
• 14:57
  rhythms,
• 14:58
  your
• 14:58
  emotional
• 14:58
  grounding,
• 14:59
  your
• 14:59
  lack
• 15:00
  of
• 15:00
  emotional
• 15:00
  grounding,
• 15:01
  your
• 15:01
  capacity,
• 15:02
  your
• 15:02
  spiritual
• 15:02
  alignment.
• 15:03
  When
• 15:03
  you
• 15:03
  come
• 15:04
  back
• 15:04
  to
• 15:04
  life,
• 15:05
  everything
• 15:06
  comes
• 15:06
  back
• 15:06
  to
• 15:06
  life.
• 15:08
  And
• 15:09
  so
• 15:09
  if
• 15:09
  this
• 15:09
  episode
• 15:10
  hit
• 15:10
  a
• 15:10
  nerve
• 15:10
  with
• 15:11
  you,
• 15:11
  if
• 15:11
  it,
• 15:11
  it,
• 15:11
  it,
• 15:11
  it's
• 15:11
  supposed
• 15:12
  to,
• 15:13
  it
• 15:13
  clarity
• 15:15
  and
• 15:15
  truth
• 15:16
  and
• 15:17
  saying
• 15:17
  what
• 15:17
  you
• 15:17
  mean
• 15:18
  and
• 15:18
  calling
• 15:18
  things
• 15:19
  what
• 15:19
  they
• 15:19
  are
• 15:20
  is
• 15:20
  actually
• 15:21
  kindness.
• 15:23
  We
• 15:23
  don't,
• 15:24
  we
• 15:24
  don't
• 15:24
  create
• 15:24
  nice
• 15:25
  girls
• 15:25
  here.
• 15:25
  We
• 15:25
  create
• 15:26
  kind
• 15:26
  girls.
• 15:28
  Because
• 15:28
  you
• 15:29
  deserve
• 15:29
  to,
• 15:29
  to
• 15:29
  not
• 15:30
  carry
• 15:30
  this
• 15:30
  alone
• 15:31
  anymore.
• 15:31
  Inside
• 15:31
  adventures,
• 15:32
  we
• 15:32
  do
• 15:32
  the
• 15:32
  deep
• 15:33
  work.
• 15:33
  We,
• 15:33
  we
• 15:34
  look
• 15:34
  at
• 15:34
  those
• 15:34
  resentment
• 15:35
  patterns,
• 15:35
  the
• 15:35
  identity
• 15:36
  reconstruction,
• 15:36
  the
• 15:37
  nervous
• 15:37
  system
• 15:37
  repair,
• 15:38
  the
• 15:38
  metabolic
• 15:38
  stability,
• 15:39
  the,
• 15:39
  the
• 15:39
  spiritual
• 15:40
  grounding,
• 15:40
  that
• 15:40
  whole
• 15:41
  life
• 15:41
  transformation.
• 15:43
  And
• 15:43
  I
• 15:43
  think
• 15:44
  that
• 15:44
  that's
• 15:44
  something
• 15:44
  that
• 15:44
  we,
• 15:45
  we
• 15:45
  want
• 15:46
  to
• 15:46
  throw
• 15:46
  a
• 15:46
  bandaid
• 15:46
  on
• 15:47
  and
• 15:47
  we
• 15:47
  wanna
• 15:47
  call
• 15:47
  it
• 15:47
  hormones.
• 15:48
  We
• 15:48
  wanna
• 15:48
  call
• 15:48
  it,
• 15:49
  oh,
• 15:49
  I've
• 15:49
  got
• 15:49
  a
• 15:49
  hormone
• 15:49
  problem,
• 15:50
  or,
• 15:50
  oh,
• 15:50
  it's,
• 15:51
  I
• 15:51
  need
• 15:51
  glp,
• 15:52
  or
• 15:52
  I
• 15:52
  need
• 15:53
  all
• 15:53
  of
• 15:53
  this.
• 15:53
  And
• 15:53
  it's
• 15:53
  like,
• 15:54
  but
• 15:54
  do
• 15:54
  you.
• 15:55
  Really,
• 15:56
  if
• 15:56
  we
• 15:56
  could
• 15:56
  handle
• 15:57
  our
• 15:57
  resentment,
• 15:57
  get
• 15:58
  through
• 15:58
  that
• 15:58
  resentment
• 15:59
  piece,
• 16:01
  would
• 16:01
  things
• 16:01
  change?
• 16:02
  Absolutely,
• 16:03
  they
• 16:03
  would.
• 16:04
  And
• 16:04
  the
• 16:04
  reason
• 16:04
  that
• 16:04
  most
• 16:04
  people
• 16:05
  don't
• 16:05
  go
• 16:06
  and
• 16:06
  manage
• 16:06
  their
• 16:06
  resentment
• 16:07
  is
• 16:07
  because
• 16:07
  it
• 16:08
  requires
• 16:08
  work
• 16:09
  and
• 16:09
  it
• 16:09
  requires
• 16:10
  work
• 16:10
  on
• 16:11
  you,
• 16:11
  not
• 16:12
  someone
• 16:12
  else.
• 16:16
  Thanks
• 16:17
  for
• 16:17
  listening
• 16:17
  to
• 16:17
  The
• 16:17
  Crying
• 16:18
  in
• 16:18
  My
• 16:18
  Cheesecake
• 16:18
  podcast.
• 16:19
  If
• 16:19
  this
• 16:19
  episode
• 16:19
  spoke
• 16:20
  to
• 16:20
  you
• 16:20
  even
• 16:20
  in
• 16:20
  the
• 16:20
  smallest
• 16:21
  way,
• 16:21
  don't
• 16:21
  keep
• 16:22
  it
• 16:22
  to
• 16:22
  yourself.
• 16:23
  Share
• 16:23
  it
• 16:23
  with
• 16:23
  a
• 16:23
  friend
• 16:23
  who's
• 16:23
  ready
• 16:24
  for
• 16:24
  real
• 16:24
  change
• 16:25
  and
• 16:25
  listen.
• 16:25
  Your
• 16:25
  next
• 16:26
  step
• 16:26
  matters.
• 16:26
  Check
• 16:27
  the
• 16:27
  show
• 16:27
  notes
• 16:27
  for
• 16:28
  links,
• 16:28
  resources,
• 16:29
  and
• 16:29
  ways
• 16:29
  to
• 16:29
  work
• 16:29
  with
• 16:29
  me.
• 16:30
  Whether
• 16:30
  you're
• 16:30
  ready
• 16:30
  to
• 16:30
  step
• 16:31
  into
• 16:31
  adventures
• 16:31
  or
• 16:32
  Blood
• 16:32
  sugar
• 16:32
  explorers,
• 16:33
  or
• 16:34
  you
• 16:34
  wanna
• 16:34
  come
• 16:34
  and
• 16:34
  find
• 16:34
  me
• 16:35
  and
• 16:35
  hang
• 16:35
  out
• 16:35
  on
• 16:35
  Substack
• 16:36
  or
• 16:36
  Telegram,
• 16:37
  check
• 16:37
  the
• 16:37
  link
• 16:37
  below
• 16:38
  to
• 16:38
  join
• 16:38
  me.
• 16:39
  And
• 16:39
  if
• 16:39
  you
• 16:39
  made
• 16:39
  it
• 16:39
  to
• 16:39
  the
• 16:40
  end,
• 16:40
  come
• 16:40
  tell
• 16:40
  me.
• 16:41
  Send
• 16:41
  me
• 16:41
  a
• 16:41
  DM
• 16:41
  on
• 16:41
  Instagram
• 16:42
  and
• 16:42
  tell
• 16:42
  me
• 16:42
  what
• 16:42
  hit
• 16:43
  home
• 16:43
  for
• 16:43
  you
• 16:43
  today.
• 16:44
  I
• 16:44
  read
• 16:44
  every
• 16:44
  single
• 16:44
  one.
• 16:45
  I
• 16:45
  am
• 16:45
  cheering
• 16:45
  for
• 16:46
  you.
• 16:46
  I
• 16:46
  am
• 16:46
  praying
• 16:46
  for
• 16:47
  you,
• 16:47
  and
• 16:47
  I'll
• 16:47
  see
• 16:47
  you
• 16:47
  in
• 16:48
  the
• 16:48
  next
• 16:48
  episode.