Latest / Sessions Canceled / Marvelous Misadventures of Mat | Part. 6: Ep. 70

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Marvelous Misadventures of Mat | Part. 6: Ep. 70 · Sessions Canceled

• 0:16
  Guys, Spirit is willing. With bodies bruised and spongy.
• 0:19
  After all those monsters, the Monster Manual, we needed a week
• 0:22
  off, so sessions are canceled. Welcome to another fine
• 0:27
  fantabulous anniversary episode of The Marvelous Misadventures
• 0:31
  of Matt. I can just stick.
• 0:34
  The word anniversary on things. Yes, every time.
• 0:38
  I'm gonna do it every time. So much I'm he who's marvelously
• 0:44
  misadventuring Matt. I'm joined with the boys, Josh
• 0:47
  and Isaiah. I'm so much fucking pain right
• 0:51
  now. Indescribable.
• 0:54
  Just to describe Isaiah's pain, since he is incapable of
• 0:58
  describing it, we may or may not have just recorded for 25
• 1:01
  minutes and then realized that audio is not being picked up.
• 1:04
  So. Here we are round two.
• 1:06
  How y'all doing? It's not going to matter on your
• 1:08
  end, but it's. Not going to matter for you, but
• 1:12
  we're all suffering and that's. All that matters, yes.
• 1:15
  And you know what would make me feel better?
• 1:16
  If you hit the follower subscribe button on whatever
• 1:18
  platform you're currently listening on, that would make me
• 1:20
  feel a lot better. Might not make it feel better,
• 1:23
  but it make me feel. Don't forget that.
• 1:25
  Follow us on Twitter X or? Whatever it's called.
• 1:27
  Nope. Nope.
• 1:28
  Matt. God damn it, I like that.
• 1:32
  One thing Never. I'll explain this later.
• 1:37
  What are you saying guys in you? Don't want to make me feel
• 1:39
  better anting the psalms psalms of the motive force and binary.
• 1:45
  That'd make me feel better, God damn it.
• 1:50
  You know how to do that? Go ahead.
• 1:52
  Go ahead. Surely I'm the only one.
• 1:53
  I'm the only one. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:56
  I'll have to take his word for it.
• 1:57
  I cannot say one way or the. Other There's an actual play I
• 2:01
  watched a while back where character was.
• 2:05
  He's like, really going hard in the whole tech priest thing.
• 2:10
  And he was just like, I shall now chant the songs of the
• 2:13
  motive. False.
• 2:19
  Oh no, wait, no, no, it was they.
• 2:21
  He he rolled the natural one, or he rolled the apparels of the
• 2:26
  Warp or something. I don't remember what it was.
• 2:29
  And the the guy over to the game is like you.
• 2:32
  You complete your task, but you can only communicate in dubstep.
• 2:36
  Oh my God. So he's the guy for like 20
• 2:44
  minutes. You sense anything?
• 2:47
  But you would think that the show could stop being funny.
• 2:54
  But no, never stop being funny. That's fucking great.
• 3:01
  Oh God. Anyone.
• 3:03
  You should go watch Daredev declarations, War hams.
• 3:05
  It's pretty good. I get back on dark tide at some
• 3:09
  point too. Yeah, too many games.
• 3:11
  Yeah, we got to get back down Dark tide now.
• 3:13
  The Gundam evolution has failed us.
• 3:19
  My pain is immeasurable, my sadness also immeasurable.
• 3:27
  My will is cool cool skins though.
• 3:30
  Doesn't fucking matter now. Not anymore, but.
• 3:33
  No, they put everything out on the budget, like grindable
• 3:36
  income. And I really wanted the white
• 3:38
  dingo squad thing for my Sniper 2 that I was just starting to
• 3:41
  use. And now I can't use it anymore
• 3:43
  because the game's going up in smoke in November.
• 3:45
  I'm dead. I just.
• 3:46
  That's it. I discovered I cut, cut like
• 3:48
  they're like. The whole ass game is getting
• 3:50
  shut down. The entire game, everything's
• 3:52
  Yeah, God damn. I wish for the heat death of the
• 3:56
  universe actively. Rather than typically.
• 3:59
  Passively, Yep. But I guess the recap, the recap
• 4:04
  once again. Yep.
• 4:06
  Go for it back. Yep.
• 4:07
  Me and Isaiah are just going to sit here and play.
• 4:13
  Players went to Dragon City. They dealt with a bunch of
• 4:16
  devils, did not deal with the rock.
• 4:18
  Sasha very well went after a bunch of Dragon Cultists, Father
• 4:22
  Dracowicz and Death Knight one got the Mcguffin and now are
• 4:26
  heading over and are in Elf City to try and figure out how to
• 4:30
  build the not Dragon Lance but they don't know as a Dragon
• 4:33
  Lance yet. Are you described again as we
• 4:36
  did before, what the Elf City's like?
• 4:39
  Yeah, yeah. Or do you want you want to add
• 4:40
  your favorite part, Josh? Favorite part?
• 4:43
  Yeah, Rock Sasha's philactery. I mean, no, the moments past,
• 4:49
  it's over. I mean, the Rocks also has a
• 4:51
  religious philactery on this mantle.
• 4:53
  I don't. I don't have the energy anymore.
• 4:55
  What is? What is life?
• 4:57
  Yeah, I'm probably. Got What do you want me to do?
• 5:00
  This is the this is the fucking game, grumps Aaron Hanson.
• 5:02
  He's like hours. Literally.
• 5:04
  Hours wasted. Not hours, but.
• 5:07
  Enough to be annoying. Yeah.
• 5:09
  Yeah, dude, Yeah. I don't even know what I'd do it
• 5:12
  for. Like an hour in.
• 5:13
  It's like Yep not. Recording Oh my God, I.
• 5:16
  Would actually just call it an L for the night.
• 5:18
  I just go back. Like you couldn't pay me to be
• 5:22
  like, hey, you wanna like, no, absolutely.
• 5:25
  I was usually done Oh yeah. Speaking with the dragon, Dragon
• 5:30
  City leader, the players were told that he wants whoever was
• 5:34
  responsible for setting up this whole like the Elf city versus
• 5:37
  the Dragon city. He wants them captured, he wants
• 5:39
  them brought to him for justice. Meanwhile, the one player, the
• 5:44
  gunsmith elf who was in the party is related to the leader
• 5:47
  of the elf city as well as was part of assassination hit squad
• 5:52
  on the dragon leader but failed and actually killed his son.
• 5:57
  So you know some fun political nonsense going on and yeah,
• 6:04
  basically built like cuz I wanted to when I make cities and
• 6:08
  I don't know if you guys do the same thing or like I first kind
• 6:11
  of think about like what the populace is.
• 6:13
  So like this place I wanted to be like it's elves.
• 6:16
  What elves. High elves, you know, fur, bogs,
• 6:20
  forest gnomes, like a lot of like nature.
• 6:23
  So I feel like, you know, I found like pictures and art of
• 6:25
  like cities literally, where like the trees are the size of
• 6:28
  skyscrapers and their roads are made by connecting branches that
• 6:31
  connect all these different trees and shit.
• 6:34
  I took the thing from Eberon where like because in their main
• 6:37
  city of Shar Charn yeah if someone falls off one of these
• 6:41
  like skyscrapers, there's like all these lanterns that have
• 6:44
  like a feather fall like rune or whatever so no one can fall to
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  their death in Sharn okay wait, I basically did the same thing
• 6:52
  cuz these fucking trees were massive and I'm like, yeah.
• 6:55
  Wait, was that you think that system was set up proactively or
• 6:59
  retroactively? I would say retroactively.
• 7:03
  I really hope it's retroactive. I would, yeah.
• 7:06
  I cannot see a situation where someone actually thought of that
• 7:11
  problem ahead of time to be honest.
• 7:14
  Or they did think of that problem ahead of time, but
• 7:15
  nobody wanted to pay for it to set up all the lanterns.
• 7:18
  So they just said, hey, fuck it, we'll deal with it later.
• 7:21
  OK. The question is how
• 7:22
  retroactively we've talked about.
• 7:23
  Oh, like how many? People fell to their death.
• 7:26
  Yeah, I know Got moidled before. I mean, I think it's actually in
• 7:29
  the. Book, I mean.
• 7:33
  You know, probably a good chunk before the politicians started
• 7:36
  to care. I would imagine Sharon's fucking
• 7:39
  huge, just like my cock got him, but the players got to the elf
• 7:46
  city. Turns out that the gunsmith, not
• 7:51
  only did he work for the work for the elf city, he was also
• 7:57
  his grandmother was the queen of the city.
• 8:00
  The ruler faction person, another said.
• 8:02
  Yeah. Did Grandmama also use guns?
• 8:06
  No. No, this was the again, the
• 8:07
  gunsmith was like, you know? Fuck you, Mom.
• 8:10
  It's not a face. He's getting the guns.
• 8:12
  Yeah, he's like, you know, he's like bows are cool, but look at
• 8:15
  this Candon I have. He just pulls out the sniper
• 8:17
  rifle. Look at this object I have that
• 8:18
  throws rocks really fast. Really far?
• 8:21
  Exactly. He's like, bows are inferior.
• 8:24
  He's like, this is the way of the future.
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  And then everybody else in the elf said he's like, now
• 8:27
  incorrect. It's all it's all about the
• 8:29
  bows. He's just like fools.
• 8:32
  You'll see fools. You're foolish fools.
• 8:36
  So I like how they're like it's about the bows.
• 8:37
  And ignoring that crossbows are also a thing, yeah, I'll do that
• 8:42
  here. Crossbows.
• 8:43
  Are for the doors. Crossbows are for weak and mamby
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  pambies with no lats. That's right.
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  Do you even bow bro? Wow, I misheard my.
• 8:55
  I really misheard Josh on that last exclamation.
• 9:00
  And what? What?
• 9:03
  Did you hear, Sir? What we were talking about
• 9:06
  considering the Angel devil yesterday.
• 9:14
  It's like, therefore he's like I can smash that Angel pussy for
• 9:17
  about a good 18 seconds. 18 minutes.
• 9:19
  No, just I see minutes more than I need.
• 9:25
  I love that meme so much. You so.
• 9:27
  Much. Let somebody kill me.
• 9:34
  Jesus Christ that you're fired. Fuck.
• 9:37
  Anyways, speaking with the NPC, speaking with the Queen, they're
• 9:41
  like, all right, we have all five dragon balls.
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  Fucking give us the Tell us how to make the dragon balls when.
• 9:47
  Did they become Dragon balls? Yeah, the drag, The weapons.
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  The weapons are the dragon balls.
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  The Mcguffins. This is important items.
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  It's fine. You know that that's not
• 9:54
  technically the Dragon Balls actually aren't Omega, because.
• 9:58
  The Dragon Balls actually do something.
• 10:01
  Yeah, they're plot device. Yeah, yeah, they're plot twice,
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  but they're not a Mcguffin because a Mcguffin doesn't do
• 10:05
  anything. Oh, that's that's part.
• 10:08
  Of what makes them, so I'll say plot my plot device.
• 10:12
  Then from now on they're like, all right, we have all the plot
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  devices, we have all five of them put together.
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  How do we how do we make the dragon weapon?
• 10:19
  No no Matt, they're coupons cuz when the players collect them
• 10:21
  then they hand the GM as the coupons to make the end of game
• 10:24
  purchase. True by the plot Twitch between
• 10:28
  told him was like Oh no, we it's like the forge in order to make
• 10:32
  the weapon is off in the Fay wild so we're gonna have a guide
• 10:36
  help you get there but you have to cross over and plane shift
• 10:39
  and the players like the. Players said casual racism.
• 10:42
  Yeah, they're like, why the fuck do we have to go in the Fay
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  wild? That place is weird.
• 10:45
  Everyone over there is weird. And then the other players,
• 10:50
  they're all, they all were like, yeah, yeah, fucking weird.
• 10:55
  I forget what happened next, even though you just told me 20
• 10:59
  minutes. I just thought, no, it's not
• 11:00
  good, the Queen basically said. So well, we have an arch gate
• 11:05
  ready for. You right, right.
• 11:06
  Go to. We have to set it up for
• 11:07
  tomorrow, but on the other side in the Fay while waiting for
• 11:11
  you, is going to be this tree person that called a Wode Wood.
• 11:14
  They're like a monster from Volo's guy.
• 11:15
  They're like a little tree palleting guy.
• 11:17
  It's called a wood wode, is it? I thought it was a wode wood.
• 11:21
  The wood wode. What?
• 11:24
  Fucking. Wood, it is kind of a pseudo,
• 11:27
  yeah. Wode means Oh is wood wode.
• 11:33
  Why do I? Why do I old is?
• 11:35
  That word for something? Oh no, it's just a plant.
• 11:39
  They're called. They're just called a yellow.
• 11:42
  A yellow flowered European plant of the cabbage family is a wode,
• 11:47
  yeah, but like, the art for them is like, it's a little tree guy
• 11:50
  with a little shield and club and he's all happy doing his
• 11:54
  job. He definitely looks like he's
• 11:55
  about to look at you and go. He's got Big big smash.
• 12:01
  Big big smash you with Brick Gawa Energy and the players like
• 12:08
  we don't know what that is but OK we'll go.
• 12:11
  And so that they got they got a day to kind of rest for Cooper.
• 12:14
  And this is also again I was getting birth the fuck out of
• 12:16
  the campaign. I was like all right let's just
• 12:18
  you know get in there. We'll just push through and
• 12:21
  instead of they're like, oh, can we have like a couple days in
• 12:23
  the city mad like a week or I'm like, you guys get a day, you
• 12:28
  get one. Listen, bitches, I'm tired.
• 12:30
  You get one. Tell your friends.
• 12:35
  But that night they're like, okay, we got to explore the
• 12:37
  city. Meet some Npc's, try to.
• 12:39
  What did they do? They had dead dinner at the the
• 12:42
  gunsmith's fucking house. And then that night, because I,
• 12:46
  you know, just because I thought it'd be fun and they fucked with
• 12:49
  the rock shot. So I was like, oh, let me send
• 12:50
  some more like Devil Assassins after them.
• 12:54
  This is also kind of when the three of us and Sam when we were
• 12:57
  all playing descend to Averns. So I had some, like, new Devil
• 13:01
  inspiration shit. And I'm like, oh, let me throw
• 13:02
  some stuff out there that'd be fun.
• 13:06
  And also because I thought it would be funny, I brought back,
• 13:10
  and I told you guys a while ago, I brought in from Cursive Strad
• 13:13
  the the NPC Rahdeen who became kind of like a nemesis for the
• 13:18
  Shadowmonk character. And you know, players killed
• 13:22
  him. He'd come back, they'd kill his
• 13:24
  like undead corpse cuz he became like a revenant like three or
• 13:26
  four times. And then finally with the
• 13:31
  Rockshasa, the Rockshasa saw the soul and was like, hey man, I
• 13:34
  know you've been trying to kill these guys.
• 13:36
  I fucking want them dead as well.
• 13:38
  I'm going to give you some devil power and some devil magic Do
• 13:41
  the job. If not, you're going to become a
• 13:43
  Lemire and I'm going to fucking torture you for the rest of
• 13:45
  eternity. Jesus said that to Rahadi.
• 13:49
  Well, basically I I mean the players never saw this.
• 13:52
  This is like my head candid of what happened.
• 13:56
  But that's what happens. Yeah, that's what happens when
• 13:57
  devils fail a mission or contract.
• 14:00
  They basically get punished and they get demoted, rodding
• 14:03
  because he was like he basically was a walking corpse at this
• 14:06
  point. So he didn't have, like, you
• 14:08
  know, he wasn't high-ranking devil.
• 14:11
  So the the basic, the the the Rockshasa was like, listen, if
• 14:15
  you fail me, you are going to start at Ground Zero and you are
• 14:18
  going to be tortured as a lamere.
• 14:20
  The combination of the combination of Rockshasa and
• 14:23
  Rahadeen is is not helping this scenario.
• 14:26
  Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
• 14:28
  But yes, I. They, you know they they didn't
• 14:30
  fix it and descent to Avernus because the Rockshasa is Mahadi
• 14:33
  not Rahadeen. That's true.
• 14:35
  That's true. That did make it worse.
• 14:37
  Actually. Yes, God damn it.
• 14:40
  But but yeah so that night you know while the players were
• 14:44
  sleeping I did the thing where the you know the all bunch of
• 14:47
  people like I've had the players make reception checks.
• 14:50
  A bunch of the devil assassins attacked them and this is where
• 14:54
  they now devil infused power undead.
• 14:57
  Rahdeen went after the shadow monk and I might have buffed him
• 15:01
  up a little too much and he because he was doing a lot of
• 15:05
  even for like my players, level 17 at this point.
• 15:07
  He did way too much damage and he was kind of almost like gonna
• 15:11
  kill Shadow Monk. Wait, raha Dean.
• 15:17
  Yeah, cuz I buffed his stat stuff a little bit.
• 15:20
  Should it? Well, I was trying, not trying,
• 15:24
  but like the bad guy. You heard it here, folks.
• 15:27
  He was trying. To kill you.
• 15:28
  You were trying. It's okay, but this is when as
• 15:33
  he's mid fight trying to survive.
• 15:35
  This is when Shadow Monk pulled out his signature move or his
• 15:39
  secret move that he basically me, he and I had a backdoor
• 15:42
  deal. Don't say backdoor deal, Matt.
• 15:46
  Don't know that's so perfectly with this, because years ago
• 15:53
  when Shadow Monk joined my campaign, he sent me this web
• 15:57
  comic by this elder cactus dot com.
• 16:02
  Funny fucking thing. It's assassin.
• 16:04
  Yeah, it's this guy who's just standing on the middle of the
• 16:06
  street screaming, oh God, my butt hole.
• 16:08
  My butt hole's in so much pain. Please someone help me.
• 16:11
  Oh no, my butt hole. A random guy walks over to him
• 16:13
  is like, oh, good. Sir, are you OK?
• 16:15
  Can I help you? The dude who's screaming out my
• 16:17
  butt hole pulls out a pistol and just fucking caps this guy right
• 16:20
  in the face. Turns out the guy who's
• 16:23
  screaming out my butt hole is just like amazing assassin who
• 16:26
  pulls all of his. Hits like this and this is how
• 16:29
  he does his assassinations. He just screams out of my butt
• 16:31
  hole and the confusion kills the guy kills his target.
• 16:37
  So Chris sent that to me and I joked that I'm like you know
• 16:41
  what this is? This is too funny.
• 16:42
  I was dying and I'm like I will let this auto success once and
• 16:47
  so he saved it for like this. This entire campaign was saving
• 16:51
  to use it at one point and so back into a corner fighting this
• 16:55
  undead guy who undead devil guy who just won't fucking die.
• 16:58
  He's like you know the villain mid monologue.
• 17:01
  Like you've killed me so many times but now finally my revenge
• 17:05
  mid monologue Oh God my butt hole.
• 17:08
  Oh oh geez. Oh I'm in so much pain and so
• 17:16
  right. He's like like he does this like
• 17:19
  stop. Like what What did you just say?
• 17:22
  And the Shadow Monk, one of the things he he we he liked doing
• 17:26
  like he liked to from Hunter. Hunter.
• 17:28
  He did the coin flick and like would shoot people for some
• 17:31
  reason because he thought it was really cool.
• 17:33
  Super cool. So he did that right in the Rahi
• 17:36
  Dean's forehead and just basically just blasted his
• 17:39
  brains out. Auto kill fascination hit.
• 17:43
  Done. Wait, the Shadow Monk character
• 17:44
  was the one with the gun? No, no, he had a coin, so he did
• 17:48
  the You ever watch Hunter Hunter?
• 17:50
  I don't remember what the character was, but there's a
• 17:52
  character. The fucking doofus with the
• 17:54
  glasses that shot coins at people like Ballistics.
• 17:56
  Yeah, he he likes people like shot coin.
• 17:59
  Yeah, he flicked the coins at people.
• 18:01
  And so he and I homebrewed that. Basically we treated like a.
• 18:03
  Dover was the was the coin, yeah.
• 18:07
  I see. So he he didn't just shoot the
• 18:10
  man, he killed him with coin. He killed him by flicking a coin
• 18:14
  so hard it basically might as well bring dead.
• 18:17
  At his nest, yeah. Oh my God.
• 18:21
  OK. All right.
• 18:24
  Yep. So saved it.
• 18:26
  Saved it. He's like, he's like, all right,
• 18:27
  cool. I did it.
• 18:28
  Assassination. Done.
• 18:29
  The rest of the players dealt with the other devils.
• 18:32
  They turned. They see the, you know, the
• 18:34
  rotting, like, burning corpse of Rodney.
• 18:37
  They're like, what happened here?
• 18:38
  Shut up, Monk. I don't know.
• 18:39
  I don't know who this is. Fuck this guy.
• 18:41
  Fucking keep the four squats down.
• 18:44
  Kicks them. Down the chute and the garbage
• 18:46
  chute. Bye bye but and they they went
• 18:52
  and the next day they went to the Fay Wild which I ended up
• 18:55
  pulling a lot of inspiration from the 4th for e-book which I
• 18:59
  think was the like one of if not the last 4th edition books they
• 19:04
  printed out. I don't know and I don't know.
• 19:07
  It was like all about the Fay Wild and like you know, setting
• 19:10
  adventures and campaigns in there.
• 19:12
  And I used a lot of references from that, but I also mixed it
• 19:14
  with a lot of the lore from the Stronghold and Followers and CDN
• 19:18
  book because they had a lot of cool, like Fay wild like lore
• 19:22
  and shit. I was like, yeah, I want to use
• 19:25
  these. I'll use these other tools for
• 19:28
  my box. The players don't like the way
• 19:32
  you said that for my pocket. I'm going to use these other
• 19:35
  tools for my box, Yeah, for my toolbox.
• 19:39
  Yeah, I know. But yeah, I don't don't like the
• 19:42
  way you said that. Anyways Queen wishes them good
• 19:47
  luck. Players are like all right
• 19:48
  fucking no did not get any sleep because of the the devil
• 19:51
  assassination attempt. They're like let's just get the
• 19:53
  shit over with get into the Fay wild.
• 19:56
  No one there. They're like there's no there's
• 19:58
  no tree guy here there's what the what do now And so the
• 20:06
  players as the the obvious are good move.
• 20:08
  They're like, you know, let's just, let's just explore the
• 20:10
  forest. What could possibly go wrong?
• 20:13
  Just gonna wander around. What could possibly go Yeah,
• 20:17
  they got lost a little bit. They were like contraversing the
• 20:20
  Fay wild and they're like, it's just more trees, just more
• 20:22
  fucking weird rainbow trees and mushrooms and shit and the
• 20:25
  fucking grass talks. I don't understand.
• 20:27
  This sounds like a good time, but eventually the players
• 20:31
  don't. I don't want to understand the
• 20:35
  players ended up running into a large group of Summer Aladrin
• 20:40
  and you know, holding them all at gunpoint or gunpoint, but at
• 20:44
  bow point I should say, and basically the players like.
• 20:47
  I like the idea that the alleged all have Tommy guns.
• 20:49
  You just stick them up. What the play they're like the
• 20:54
  players like, listen, we just got here, we're just travelers
• 20:57
  when we don't want to make any troubles.
• 20:58
  And then they point at the barbarian.
• 21:00
  They're like him. He's broken all the crimes in
• 21:03
  the fail wild. He must be punished.
• 21:06
  And the players like what the fuck?
• 21:07
  And they turned to the barbarian.
• 21:10
  Who I don't remember actually if I mentioned this.
• 21:13
  I I think I mentioned this in an earlier podcast but not in the
• 21:15
  last recap. But during in the Dragon City
• 21:21
  when I did that festival for the players.
• 21:23
  This is when Tasha's had come out.
• 21:26
  And so one of the things in the in there that I thought was cool
• 21:29
  is these magic mushrooms that you buy that you players can
• 21:32
  find or buy and they have different effects but if you
• 21:34
  have two like eat two of them, something bad happens.
• 21:37
  You know, like, oh shit, okay. And so obviously, because of
• 21:42
  course the barbarian's like, I bet I can eat two of these
• 21:46
  mushrooms that you're not supposed to eat two of.
• 21:50
  And so the player's like, I don't, I don't think it's a good
• 21:52
  idea, man. And he ate it, and then he just
• 21:55
  warps out of existence and the player's.
• 21:59
  Like Where'd you Go? Comes back six, six seconds
• 22:03
  later, covered and caked and mud and grass and dirt and shit.
• 22:09
  And so I looked up a bunch of funny things that could happen.
• 22:11
  He got transported into the Fay Wild, and because the Fay Wild
• 22:15
  time dilation is so different over there, he was in there for
• 22:18
  six months. And so during the six months he
• 22:23
  just just attacked everything, chopped down, poured trees,
• 22:28
  killed many, many innocent Fay folk.
• 22:31
  Just because. Because that's why he said his
• 22:34
  character would do. He's like, I'm gonna conquer
• 22:37
  this new land. He's like, I have no idea what
• 22:38
  the fuck happened. I.
• 22:39
  Like that your players are like almost genetically predisposed
• 22:45
  to acts of fucking terrorists. Yeah, what the fuck.
• 22:49
  They cannot act like fucking terrorists anywhere they go.
• 22:56
  Oh shit. I'm calling you guys out.
• 22:59
  Why are you like you? Liked it?
• 23:02
  Who raised you? Because he, in his mind, he said
• 23:05
  he's like, well, listen, I'm a pirate, so pirates like pillage
• 23:08
  and plunder and shit. So I'm gonna go pillage and
• 23:10
  plunder this fucking forest land and that's his.
• 23:12
  Excuse. That's all he could come up
• 23:14
  with. Jesus Christ, dude.
• 23:16
  He was a barbarian. He didn't.
• 23:17
  He dumped. He dumped his intelligence.
• 23:18
  That's fine. I can't.
• 23:19
  I can't believe that you just Hassan Piker the shit out of us.
• 23:22
  He's not a terrorist. He's a piker.
• 23:25
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big difference.
• 23:28
  Oh my God. But yeah, so he was trapped in
• 23:31
  there for six months and he thought, he's like, I'm gonna
• 23:33
  conquer Fay wild. He pissed off a lot of people,
• 23:36
  including the queen of the Sealy Court.
• 23:40
  Is this all just you just, like, decided?
• 23:42
  Should I decide? Should I looked up from the 4th,
• 23:44
  4th edition book? It was very like random spur in
• 23:47
  a moment. Like fun stuff.
• 23:49
  Oh my God. And so after six months of just
• 23:51
  torturing and like the whole Fay wild and wrecking havoc, he
• 23:55
  teleported back into the material plane.
• 23:57
  Only 6 seconds, only 6 seconds difference from when the players
• 24:01
  saw him disappear to him returning.
• 24:03
  So he's just been like, oh shit, I'm having another fever dream.
• 24:06
  I see my friends, he's like, this isn't real.
• 24:09
  And they're like, Dude, what falls to like, he's like,
• 24:13
  they're like, dude, did you fall into a mud pit?
• 24:15
  What happened to you? He's like, so much.
• 24:19
  Bro, basically what happened was he had a DMT.
• 24:23
  That's pretty much, yeah, the fail, I said.
• 24:25
  You ever done DMT and basically the player players went on being
• 24:30
  like, well, this is weird and then just continued on and then
• 24:32
  just ignored it. Yeah.
• 24:34
  And mewhile you do the Barbarians just like, I like,
• 24:38
  you know, he's like touching random like buildings and people
• 24:41
  and shouldn't be like this. This is real.
• 24:44
  I'm back. I'm back in the material flame.
• 24:48
  Man I man I the NP, the Npc's of your realm.
• 24:53
  That it must have a real hard time accepting your your players
• 24:57
  as the as the heroes as it were. Not the not the spoiler.
• 25:01
  But basically it's a hard thing. He became my world's version of
• 25:05
  a torask at the end game. That's the W game is like more.
• 25:10
  OK then. OK, but so the players are
• 25:16
  surrounded by all these legends and they're basically like him,
• 25:19
  Him. He's the fucking Goliath asshole
• 25:21
  who's been wrecking shit for years.
• 25:24
  We want him. We want him dead.
• 25:28
  And so the players like, what the fuck did you do, Crugg?
• 25:31
  And he's like, you know, I don't want a lot of pillaging and
• 25:33
  murdering and plundering and. I forgot.
• 25:37
  It's OK, yeah. Excuses.
• 25:41
  OK, well, and that's when they're at the Did he the.
• 25:43
  Image Did he bang some fairies at least?
• 25:46
  Oh, probably. Yeah, I.
• 25:48
  Mean. That's the He's like, I probably
• 25:49
  have some kids around here somewhere.
• 25:51
  Probably, but he the the image of the Sealy court queen to
• 25:57
  Liana showed up and basically was like, listen, he fucked
• 26:02
  around way too much in the Fay wild and he needs to pay for his
• 26:05
  pen for you know he needs to be punished.
• 26:08
  However, I have a dilemma and you guys seem pretty capable and
• 26:12
  they're like, ah fuck. No, not again.
• 26:17
  Like so. This is also when I use the MCM,
• 26:21
  the the, the White Tusk Orcs, the Blue Orcs from the book.
• 26:24
  Because in the Fay Wild there there's a big thing with like
• 26:26
  hobgoblins, like taking over territories of the Fay Wild.
• 26:31
  Like they're basically turning into like like The Lion King,
• 26:35
  the elephant graveyard, like desolate land destroying it,
• 26:37
  fucking up the forest. Never heard.
• 26:39
  So instead of hog goblins, I just switched to a Blue Arks.
• 26:41
  Cuz I I wanted to use the Blue Arks and she's like, listen, I
• 26:46
  need you to get rid of these fucking blue Orcs.
• 26:48
  They're fucking. They're they're ruining my
• 26:50
  territory. They're fucking.
• 26:52
  I like. I like it.
• 26:53
  Not not orcs, just these blue orcs specifically.
• 26:56
  Yeah, these specific blue orcs cuz Fay wild magic turns in blue
• 26:59
  for some reason. So what, you're telling me is
• 27:01
  the Queen's really racist? Yes.
• 27:03
  Yeah, he's like because they're blue.
• 27:04
  Just gotta like because they're green.
• 27:06
  Yeah, she's like just she's like, listen, she's like if you
• 27:12
  she's like just like listen, the rest of you are guilt by
• 27:15
  association. So you if you do this for me,
• 27:17
  I'll clear your names and they're like, all right, I
• 27:20
  guess. And she's like also the the orcs
• 27:24
  have your the the wood woad. The wood woad over there.
• 27:27
  And they're like, all right, well, we have to fucking go to
• 27:30
  the orcs then, K Thanks, Matt. What?
• 27:33
  Oh, they needed the fork, Yeah, yeah, the players like.
• 27:37
  Why are they here again? Yeah, where?
• 27:40
  What do I do? They need to make the the the
• 27:42
  not dragon lands. Not dragon lands, yeah.
• 27:45
  Yeah, illegally distinct dragon lands.
• 27:48
  However, and this is something I got from the four ebook too,
• 27:51
  where a lot of like punishments for like breaking rules and laws
• 27:55
  are not like as simple as like a slap on the wrist.
• 28:00
  So for crud, because he, you know, he's a barbarian.
• 28:02
  He's very violent. The queen of the Sealy Corp was
• 28:06
  like, all right, so you like fighting, you like battle, you
• 28:09
  like winning, you like victory. How about this?
• 28:11
  You have to go and challenge the chief of the of the, the blue
• 28:14
  works, and you have to lose in epic fashion.
• 28:18
  Only then will your punishment be finished.
• 28:21
  And he's like, what he no, I ain't losing.
• 28:26
  And she's like, well, I guess. You better take the L like she's
• 28:30
  like, I guess you fucking. I guess you just stay here then,
• 28:33
  huh? And he's like, I mean, he's like
• 28:35
  I I did pretty good about damage last time.
• 28:39
  Oh my God. And the players?
• 28:41
  Like, no, we need to stop him fucking.
• 28:44
  They're like, they're like, all right, They're like Barbary and
• 28:46
  Craig Buddy, just. But just take, just just take a
• 28:49
  dive, just fall, just do it for us.
• 28:52
  And he's like, I don't know, I'm kind of like winning.
• 28:56
  I kind. Of.
• 28:59
  Like big fan of Smash. They're like, we will give you
• 29:03
  the dragon weapon, just fucking just take the dive and he's
• 29:06
  like, I suppose. I like how the fake queen just
• 29:12
  basically fixed the boxing match.
• 29:14
  Yep, Yep. Yeah, good shit.
• 29:18
  So players traversing the forest see this again.
• 29:21
  Random desert. No life survived in this area.
• 29:25
  This one section of the orcs took over and I see this big
• 29:29
  like battle tower kind of structure.
• 29:33
  They basically speak up and they're like, yeah, we got to
• 29:35
  challenge. We got to challenge the the orc
• 29:37
  leader. We you guys have something of
• 29:39
  ours. Turns out the orc leader's not
• 29:42
  there. The Chieftain, they speak with
• 29:44
  this Oni that is kind of running the show as all these orcs are
• 29:48
  kind of like taking over and it's basically like listen our
• 29:51
  Chieftain has been gone missing for some time and we're
• 29:56
  basically no challenges can be made until she's returned and
• 29:59
  plays like the fuck are we, what is the doing here.
• 30:04
  And while that's going on Joe and the shadow monks see in the
• 30:12
  this big like war camp basically that the orcs have a bunch of
• 30:16
  Fay wild civilians like in prison including the the tree
• 30:19
  guy that they need. So they're like, ah, genius,
• 30:23
  while these guys are talking to the Oni will sneak in and get
• 30:28
  free all the prisoners. What could possibly go wrong?
• 30:31
  Oh God no. So they managed to do so
• 30:35
  successfully, getting all the like the prisoners and
• 30:39
  teleporting basically like they're fucking 17th bubble.
• 30:42
  They used a lot of teleporting, a lot of invisibility, sneaking
• 30:45
  prisoners out one by one and the rest of the party basically
• 30:51
  seeing what has happened. It's literally like players see
• 30:54
  the Shannon's going on what what behind the orcs back or the Oni?
• 30:59
  And the Oni is so focused on the players in front of that he's
• 31:01
  that they don't notice. And neither does any of the
• 31:04
  other orcs in this camp because they're all, you know, they
• 31:07
  fucking play my players level 17, they can't fucking.
• 31:10
  These orcs aren't going to see invisible magic, people,
• 31:13
  teleportations, all that shit. And so finally when the camp is
• 31:18
  basically cleared of all the prisoners that's when the only
• 31:22
  like okay. So listen if you go get our our
• 31:25
  war chief back or go to the location that our war chief was
• 31:29
  at last then if you bring them back you probably set up a
• 31:33
  challenge and fight or whatever and then we'll trade you.
• 31:35
  The world would turns around, sees his entire like the the
• 31:40
  cage or all the prisoners are at empty and the players are just
• 31:43
  booking it now. I just want to see the out like
• 31:48
  the blinking outlines. The Tom and Jerry outlines the
• 31:53
  dust clouds. Yeah and this is where I wanted
• 31:57
  to try and do a high level chase from the DMG rules and like use
• 32:01
  that chase. Rules are fun, but they don't
• 32:05
  work really well for high level. They don't work.
• 32:07
  Period. No.
• 32:09
  That you can pull. No dude.
• 32:10
  They work really good for low level.
• 32:11
  That's what I'm saying. Like I I've used them multiple
• 32:14
  times, not multiple times. I've.
• 32:18
  Done it better. I'll just use their systems.
• 32:21
  Sure. I just use blades in the dark
• 32:23
  for chases and some short phrases.
• 32:29
  How does that? Makes a countdown clock out of
• 32:31
  it, and it's basically a case of like you're filling your clock,
• 32:35
  the enemy is filling their clock whoever finishes it.
• 32:38
  First wins burn quick of it and the stuff you do like if you
• 32:46
  wanted to like throw off your opponent, you could potentially
• 32:49
  like knock away a chunk of their clock.
• 32:53
  So kind of like a skill challenge I get.
• 32:56
  It's an if you. Okay.
• 33:02
  But why did they need Woodman again?
• 33:05
  So the Woodman was the only one who knew where this like forge
• 33:10
  that the the order, the dealing order that I stole from MCDM.
• 33:15
  They're the ones that know how to make the dragon weapon, but
• 33:19
  they kind of hid their their forge and their their secret
• 33:22
  lair in the Fay Wild, and only the Wood world knows the
• 33:26
  location of it. See.
• 33:29
  So he's the only one, then? Originally, he was going to be
• 33:31
  the one to guide the players to the forge.
• 33:33
  So just yeah. But yeah, that didn't happen
• 33:38
  yet. Of course it didn't.
• 33:41
  No, no, Because this is. This is when shit's going to get
• 33:43
  even even worse of. Course so all while this is
• 33:48
  going on, every once in a while, the Warlock player, he was
• 33:53
  getting like, you know, little bits from his patron being like,
• 33:58
  hey, so I'm going to call upon you really soon.
• 34:01
  Be at the ready when I call you the warlock's OK?
• 34:07
  What? What does that mean?
• 34:10
  Patron's just like, just be ready.
• 34:11
  Just just just don't worry about it, all right?
• 34:14
  Cool. Can my friends come?
• 34:16
  Patron shrugs. All right, all right, we were in
• 34:18
  shrugs. So during this chase which
• 34:23
  involved the God so much nonsense, the warlock player
• 34:27
  just said fuck this shit. And then D doored to because
• 34:30
  like how the the 5E chase works, you just pick a distance and
• 34:33
  then that's how long the chase is.
• 34:35
  He basically just kept dedoring until he got to the end.
• 34:37
  So he's just like fuck do you shoot him out.
• 34:39
  You know while the rest of the players were off dealing with
• 34:43
  the orcs who were chasing the rest of the players and all the
• 34:47
  free prisoners riding on their their alley.
• 34:50
  I actually, I think I got the image from Lord of the Rings,
• 34:53
  the big alley fans and everything.
• 34:55
  Oh yeah, because I thought it was so cool.
• 34:58
  And so while the warlock was like literally just waiting on
• 35:02
  the rest of the party, not helping the rest of the the, the
• 35:07
  party word was basically just not really doing the chase thing
• 35:10
  and just kind of just ended up just fighting the orcs and the
• 35:13
  alley fence. Like I What's the magic item?
• 35:18
  The paint? The pigment that lets you, like,
• 35:20
  make things or like, cut out things?
• 35:22
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what it's called,
• 35:24
  but I don't what you're talking about.
• 35:25
  Yes, the paint that lets you, like, draw things into reality.
• 35:27
  Yeah. So the Shadow Monk, I think
• 35:29
  recently, I think in the elf city, he bought like there was a
• 35:34
  magic shop or whatever. And he bought, he found one
• 35:36
  there and he bought it. So he's like, all right, Matt,
• 35:39
  I'm gonna paint a bunch of dynamite and I'm gonna put it in
• 35:41
  the hole. And then when the elephant shop,
• 35:42
  I'm just gonna blow the fuck up a bunch of like.
• 35:46
  That's a me thing to do. I'm so fucking proud.
• 35:49
  So he would like go on ahead, Bain a dynamite burying the
• 35:53
  hole, move on and then keep doing that.
• 35:55
  So like every time the elephants would like, move forward, they'd
• 35:59
  hit the dynamite, blow up, fall prone, and then basically they'd
• 36:04
  like the elephants would spend their turn, like trying to get
• 36:06
  up and move and then basically hit into another thing of
• 36:08
  dynamite. Sounds like some more terrorist
• 36:10
  action. A little bit.
• 36:12
  The gunsmith was just pulling a legless Both guns Lily.
• 36:15
  He Lily. He's like Kai Fred Flintstone
• 36:17
  down the trunk like legless, but like should pull both my 6
• 36:20
  hugers out and just blast the shit out of it in the forehand.
• 36:22
  I'm like, hell yeah dude. What the fuck?
• 36:28
  Let's see what else the bar band was just.
• 36:30
  Yeah, he literally was just suplexing the alley fence,
• 36:35
  killing the works left by right, using the, using the the the
• 36:38
  pet, using the pet elephant as a as a weapon itself after a while
• 36:42
  because he has a storm giant belt now.
• 36:44
  OK, Meanwhile, while all this is going on, Joe being now he's in
• 36:52
  the undead warlock guy, was actually being the good player
• 36:56
  and trying to help out all the prisoners.
• 36:58
  And he's like, how can I not do this chase and save all these
• 37:03
  people? Oh I know.
• 37:05
  Oh, just plain shift them, boy. Of course.
• 37:08
  My fucking God. Quiet.
• 37:12
  Two step, one step forward, 2 steps fucking back.
• 37:15
  I can't. It gets better, so it gets
• 37:18
  better. Say that.
• 37:19
  Don't say Tom Joe back when he first brought.
• 37:23
  This is his first character. Yeah, this is the character who
• 37:26
  was originally a shadow sorcerer then became an elder and was it
• 37:30
  old one Warlock. And now he's the Abbott mind
• 37:34
  sorcerer, but he's undead because he the character died in
• 37:37
  in wild space or whatever. So I told him, like, listen, so
• 37:42
  it went, if this character comes back, I'm just telling you in
• 37:45
  advance, the seer, the space guy who works for your patron, is
• 37:51
  going to probably find out and going to come after you at some
• 37:54
  point. He's like, that's fine, don't
• 37:56
  worry about it. He's like, that's that'll be
• 37:58
  later. What could possibly go wrong?
• 38:00
  Yeah. So as he is casting plane shift
• 38:03
  I'm like, all right, make me an Intelligence save.
• 38:06
  He's like, he's like, but that's he's like, but man, I'm a
• 38:10
  sorcerer and I'm like, I know make me an intelligence save.
• 38:13
  That sounds like a whole lot of not my problem.
• 38:16
  So he fails to save him. Plus all the prisoners are
• 38:22
  transported on back into the far up and you're sitting on this
• 38:27
  rock you're like and the seer is doing his villain monologue
• 38:32
  being like ah you thought death could you know you could escape
• 38:35
  me but no and and now I think I pulled it from the wild mount
• 38:40
  book. They have this like huge like
• 38:42
  purple worm Elders abomination with like skeleton face that
• 38:46
  glows. It's so cool I forgot what the
• 38:48
  creature's called. But basically the Seer's like,
• 38:51
  now let me just summon to my pet to like, you know finish the job
• 38:54
  and kill you off and Joe's like what does this is what's
• 38:58
  supposed to happen. Except for that part where I
• 39:00
  literally told you this is going to happen.
• 39:02
  Yeah, basically. Sounds like somebody wasn't
• 39:06
  listening with their listening years.
• 39:09
  So all that is to say that while Joe's characters in another
• 39:16
  dimension with the prisoners dealing with an Eldridge Worm
• 39:18
  Abomination Shadowmonk is, you know, fucking Bugs Bunny rabid
• 39:24
  dynamiting all the elephants, the gunsmith is Leglessing all
• 39:29
  the elephants and the fucking. What did the elephants do to
• 39:33
  them? The barbarian is just doing his
• 39:37
  thing and murdering the shit out of everything.
• 39:39
  Insight the warlock way on the other side of the map.
• 39:45
  Is in a different dimension. No, he's literally just sitting
• 39:48
  building sandcastles, waiting for the rest of the players when
• 39:52
  he gets the ping in his head from his patron being like I
• 39:55
  it's time. I need you now.
• 39:58
  So he's like now like I'm in the failure we're kind of doing.
• 40:03
  Things hope he changes. Watch Now's not really a good
• 40:06
  time, but. Patron's like, don't care,
• 40:08
  you're coming with me. Basically just does the, you
• 40:12
  know, Hurl from Hell hell. But like doesn't take any
• 40:14
  damage. Teleports.
• 40:17
  The Warlock, all the other players, The warlock just looks
• 40:20
  at his phone. Can we reschedule, bud?
• 40:22
  And basically, Joe's character in the Far realm just gets like
• 40:27
  snatched up by this big armored devil hand and just thrown in
• 40:31
  the hell to which the Sears like what the fuck?
• 40:33
  No, this is going to happen, God damn it.
• 40:37
  This is we when I was supposed to fight to the death.
• 40:40
  I like that he had his anime like we're going to fight now
• 40:43
  and then another thing distracts them.
• 40:45
  This is just this is just like this is big cure you and majima
• 40:49
  energy of just like I wanna fight you so bad and like, well
• 40:53
  I'm a little busy right now. I'm gonna fight you eventually.
• 40:55
  Like, well, not really. Maybe later.
• 40:57
  Yeah, I just like the idea of like an infernal little fucking
• 41:00
  piece of paper falling down that just says I owe you and he's
• 41:03
  like, yeah. Of the players.
• 41:09
  So like, they get thrusted. They land in this giant snow,
• 41:13
  the snowy areas, snowy mountain freezing to death and they're
• 41:16
  like, where the fuck are we? And this is where they meet.
• 41:20
  Also the wood world got saved luckily too, because he happened
• 41:23
  to be with Joe's character. All the other prisoners are
• 41:25
  probably got eaten by that worm. It probably did.
• 41:27
  It's fine. Yeah, which Joe was like,
• 41:31
  whoopsie. My bad.
• 41:35
  Oh, well, casual, you know, mass murder, It's fine.
• 41:38
  And this is when they're kind of brought and they see standing in
• 41:41
  the middle of the snow field like a huge wart, like like wart
• 41:45
  camp in tents with all these devils like pitched up, you know
• 41:49
  and basically just making weapons.
• 41:53
  And this is when they get to meet the the the warlock's
• 41:56
  patron who we we basically just home brewed because originally
• 42:00
  the the warlock was a Fiend patron and then changed to a hex
• 42:04
  blade. But I just kept the same patron
• 42:06
  because I was like, fuck it. You're still, you know, your
• 42:08
  patron's still a devil. He just imbues your sword with
• 42:11
  magic he makes. Devil Knight.
• 42:13
  Yeah, Devil Knight. Guy Devil Knight.
• 42:16
  And that sounds like an anime. Yeah, and was basically like,
• 42:20
  all right, so I brought you all here because our army is
• 42:23
  advancing welcome with. This is Stygia, by the way.
• 42:27
  The fifth layer of hell. The Frozen One.
• 42:29
  This is the cold one. Yeah, and the players like hell
• 42:33
  sucks. I thought it was supposed to be
• 42:34
  hot. No, no.
• 42:36
  Only we're. All freezing to death and the
• 42:40
  basically the patrons like. So he's like we're waging war on
• 42:45
  the arch devil. Garian his cat, we're going to
• 42:48
  wage war on his castle. He's the one with yours to do
• 42:51
  horn, right? Yep, that's the deal with the
• 42:52
  horn. He's basically got this this,
• 42:55
  the weird snake tail with the scorpion Stinger, the bat wings,
• 42:59
  and the Big Horn. And not like an animal horn.
• 43:01
  Like an actual, like no, like a do do horn.
• 43:03
  Like like like a trumpet. Yeah, well, it's not, it's not a
• 43:07
  trumpet. It's like a Viking horn, I
• 43:09
  suppose. Viking.
• 43:10
  Yeah, basically. Listen, all I know is he do to
• 43:12
  you. He do to you?
• 43:14
  Yeah, he does. He's yeah.
• 43:17
  And the players like, OK fucking.
• 43:19
  We don't want to help this, but I guess we're stuck here if we
• 43:22
  don't correct. Can we go to the Fay Wild?
• 43:25
  Can you just send us to the Fay wild when we're done?
• 43:27
  And the devil's like, yeah, yeah, of course.
• 43:29
  Yeah. No problem.
• 43:31
  Like, OK, OK And you're going to help us fight in this, this
• 43:33
  fight, in this war, Right? And he's like, no, no, This is a
• 43:35
  test. You know?
• 43:37
  Like what? Like, this is the war.
• 43:38
  This is the test. This is the test.
• 43:40
  They have to prove themselves worthy of getting the 17 levels
• 43:42
  with my magic. Like OK and if we fail?
• 43:46
  If we fail and they're like you die a death of die.
• 43:51
  If you fail, you just fucking die.
• 43:53
  I don't need to punish you because you're fucking dead.
• 43:57
  So the players all just look at the warlock and they're like,
• 44:00
  the heck play. They're like, we hate this.
• 44:03
  We hate you. We hate you.
• 44:06
  We hate this. I hate that.
• 44:07
  There's snow on my balls. This is.
• 44:09
  Honor on you to sour on the fiend, to sour on your family
• 44:14
  and your family's family and your kids, kids and your kids,
• 44:16
  kids, kids and also fuck your cat.
• 44:20
  And then this is where I try to. I tried doing a big battle like
• 44:24
  on my own without really looking up any, Like I looked up some
• 44:27
  rules and stuff, but no one had any good concrete rules for like
• 44:30
  doing a big army thing. And I kind of eventually like
• 44:34
  gave up halfway and just had like the players do a combat and
• 44:37
  then go into another combat instead Later on.
• 44:40
  Now I've seen a bunch of people do big, like big battles very
• 44:45
  well. And now it's like, if I ever do
• 44:48
  that in like my strict saving game, I'll probably use one of
• 44:50
  those. Listen, I'm a big fan of big
• 44:53
  battle. You just zoom in on what the
• 44:55
  players are up to. Shit's going on around them.
• 44:57
  Yeah, so I roll. Although I don't think I've done
• 45:01
  like a war. No, I literally I I was about to
• 45:03
  say like I don't think I've done like a war battle thing at like
• 45:05
  3 sessions ago did that. I don't know what I want about
• 45:09
  that. Fucking don't listen to me.
• 45:14
  Yeah, players, you know, they they got, they got their arm,
• 45:16
  their armor on, they they fought a bunch of devils.
• 45:18
  They basically was just the first wave was basically just
• 45:20
  them doing killing a bunch of like you know, low level moves.
• 45:25
  Yeah, wave one second, second wave bigger, bigger moves.
• 45:30
  And then the third one was at the gate, where they basically
• 45:33
  just fought a pit theme 1V1, like not one-on-one, but like
• 45:37
  basically all the players fighting fighting off a pit
• 45:39
  theme that I feel like only one pit fiend.
• 45:43
  Yeah, like one pit fiend is nothing to level 17 players.
• 45:49
  Sure, yes and no. So it was basically the cuz
• 45:52
  again back back in the days I was using the DD like encounter
• 45:56
  per day thing and trying to build the encounters and
• 45:58
  basically that one pit fiend supposedly even at level 17 was
• 46:02
  supposed to be a challenge. Oh my God.
• 46:04
  Well, the the free fireball every turn can be kind of mean
• 46:08
  if you're not built for it, I suppose.
• 46:14
  But I actually did a pretty decent amount of damage to the
• 46:17
  players. The only the only thing it ended
• 46:19
  up taking out was the clockwork. But here, which I forgot now
• 46:24
  that I should have mentioned, That's still with the course.
• 46:27
  Of course they still have the fucking.
• 46:29
  But here they stole. Yep.
• 46:31
  Now they they they purchased it. No, they didn't.
• 46:34
  They might control the man to say they purchased it.
• 46:38
  Nothing different. Not at all.
• 46:42
  But the yeah, the pit fiend ended up blowing the shit out of
• 46:44
  the the clockworker here turning into scrap metal to which the
• 46:48
  players are like, I had to scoop all the bits into the bag of
• 46:50
  holding Let's go kill this fucking Gary and guy, get the
• 46:52
  fuck out of here. And this.
• 46:56
  Honestly again, a lot of people I know aren't happy.
• 46:59
  I don't know. A lot of people are like mixed
• 47:00
  feelings on some of the like, higher CR monsters in morning
• 47:05
  Cain's tumble foes. Gary was fucking great.
• 47:09
  It was a good fucking fight. It was a good, like good boss
• 47:11
  monster. He has this horn and basically I
• 47:15
  just treated it like he just kept summoning Minotaur minions.
• 47:21
  So see our three creatures, you know, minions, every turn we
• 47:25
  just summon a fuck ton of them. So the players had to deal with
• 47:27
  that. He also had two ice devil kind
• 47:30
  of guardians with them and then him himself being.
• 47:35
  Really. Fucking like if you boy.
• 47:37
  Matt, I don't know what this has nothing to do with it but you're
• 47:40
  like yeah, you had some you had some ice.
• 47:41
  Guardians of my brain just immediately went Gates.
• 47:44
  Guardian in defense position. Don't know what.
• 47:47
  Hey. Now these are the the weird Ice
• 47:50
  Devil bug guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 47:54
  General, why ice? I gotta look up.
• 47:55
  Why? Fuck, I don't remember why Ice
• 47:57
  Devils are bugs. I don't know.
• 47:59
  What the fuck? As their code to the color, I
• 48:02
  don't. I can't have no idea.
• 48:05
  But I think the Garian fight was probably one of my most
• 48:08
  successful boss fights I've ever done.
• 48:10
  Oh, it's GEI was like, where is this motherfucker?
• 48:14
  Oh, GGER Gary. And then on, yeah, Gary, no, but
• 48:18
  Gary with an E, not Gary with an E.
• 48:20
  With an E Yeah. True.
• 48:21
  Also why hits? Why his chest so hairy I.
• 48:24
  Don't know. I just don't like how hit it.
• 48:27
  I don't like that he's got a hairy ass chest and not like a
• 48:29
  not like he's a furry man, like he's just got a hairy chest.
• 48:33
  I told very Stretch I just don't like that but it.
• 48:41
  Was a good fight because the players they had to deal with a
• 48:44
  lot of the minion like focusing on a lot of the minions and
• 48:46
  crowd control as best they could, while some of the other
• 48:50
  like players ended up dealing with the dealing with Darian and
• 48:54
  the Ice Devils. I felt bad for Joe cuz one of
• 48:59
  the things Gary can do is he could just banish somebody as
• 49:01
  the I don't remember if it's a layer action or a lifetime
• 49:04
  action. So he just banished Joe
• 49:06
  throughout 90% of the fight. And Joe was like, this sucks.
• 49:10
  Yeah, it's a layer action. Joe's like I fucking.
• 49:14
  That's fucking mean. That is also the fact that it's
• 49:17
  a layer action is really funny cuz that means you know he
• 49:20
  doesn't have to do it. Yep.
• 49:22
  No concentration, no nothing. You're just fucking.
• 49:27
  And then I think he had like some sort of attack that also
• 49:30
  like just restrains people when he hits them.
• 49:33
  So he just had the barbarian constantly restrained and was
• 49:36
  just walloping the shit out of him every 5 minutes, which even
• 49:41
  the barbarian was like, I I'm feeling pain.
• 49:45
  This doesn't happen often. What is happening?
• 49:49
  And the gunsmith was, I think doing again because fucking the
• 49:53
  gunsmith does so much damage. Eventually, Gary was like,
• 49:56
  you're annoying. And I think he can just freely
• 49:58
  teleport, or as a bonus action teleport like 100 something
• 50:01
  feet. Trying to remember.
• 50:03
  I don't remember the stats at the top of my head, but
• 50:05
  basically he just teleported. Just basically one shot the
• 50:09
  gunsmith and then the shadow monks.
• 50:11
  Like I'll save you friend. Tried kidney punching.
• 50:13
  Garian didn't work. Garian.
• 50:14
  Almost one shot him as an action he can teleport up.
• 50:20
  I think it was one of his legendary actions You could also
• 50:22
  do. That's what I was doing, yeah.
• 50:22
  Yeah, you could also Legendary. Yeah cuz I kept having him
• 50:26
  teleport around the map and half the players were like chasing
• 50:28
  him down to be like, you son of a bitch.
• 50:31
  Hey yeah, big fan of that one. I did that when my players
• 50:33
  fought the ancient sapphire dragon.
• 50:35
  There's a lot of teleporting going on there too.
• 50:37
  Yeah, Big fan 8. Great.
• 50:40
  And I hate my heart. So funny.
• 50:43
  And so the Shadow Monks, like, he ended up getting like a crit
• 50:46
  and got like a really good boat blow that like basically brought
• 50:49
  Garian to 0. And so the players like, yes, we
• 50:52
  did it. And then I started describing as
• 50:54
  like I started forming over Garian's chest and everything
• 50:57
  and I'm like, all right. And now this is when his mythic
• 50:59
  actions start. And recently, right before the
• 51:04
  session, before someone released on GM's Go PDF called Mythic
• 51:08
  Actions and they took a bunch of high monsters, including Garian.
• 51:12
  And they gave him mythic actions.
• 51:13
  And I'm like, I'm just going to use these.
• 51:15
  Fantastic. And so the players are like, no,
• 51:19
  and it just, it doubled the amount of damage he did.
• 51:21
  It doubled his A/C basically. And he was just even like, yeah,
• 51:25
  it was, it was rough. He he summoned like ice spikes
• 51:29
  that would just restrain people. So half the party couldn't like,
• 51:32
  couldn't move, and the only thing they could do was take
• 51:34
  potshots and which by this point, even though Garian was
• 51:38
  like. You know, he's doing his mythic
• 51:40
  actions and he's hurt. He was like, I feel good right
• 51:43
  now. And he sees the warlock who's
• 51:45
  just the entire fight has just been dealing like with the
• 51:48
  minotaurs trying to keep him off, the other players using
• 51:50
  like his eldest, blast and action surges and shit.
• 51:54
  And so again, it's like, oh you're the you're the night
• 51:56
  Devils guy. I don't know.
• 51:58
  Fuck with you now yeah see I had I had a great time cuz you know
• 52:05
  my players fought A rasta 2 sessions ago and one of her
• 52:07
  mythic actions is anyone trapped in her web.
• 52:10
  She just does force damage to for freezies.
• 52:13
  For freezies and that was hilarious, although I will say
• 52:17
  equally hilarious. She has a normal legendary
• 52:20
  action, that is, she deals poison damage to someone trapped
• 52:22
  in her web. And I was like, alright, cool
• 52:25
  Brett, all your minions get poisoned and Brett just goes,
• 52:28
  they're skeletons. They're immune to poison.
• 52:30
  I was like, oh, I forgot about that.
• 52:33
  I hate you. I hate that.
• 52:37
  As Brett used the fucking dance macabre spell, we had seven nice
• 52:40
  seven Skellies. You.
• 52:43
  Know what's funny? I keep me and my players always
• 52:45
  get confused with like because I guess in older editions
• 52:47
  skeletons and a lot undead used to just be immune to necrotic
• 52:50
  damage. And then five, he swapped it to.
• 52:53
  Poison damage, which that does, does make sense too, but I think
• 52:56
  some of the higher they should probably be immune to both.
• 53:00
  Yeah, right. It feels, it feels like it's
• 53:04
  right. But they they don't for some
• 53:05
  reason. Well, they also skeletons in in
• 53:08
  May 3rd edition question mark. You could only hurt with
• 53:13
  bludgeoning damage. They were immune to slashing and
• 53:16
  piercing. I know they're resistant to No,
• 53:20
  they're not. Piercing.
• 53:22
  Aren't they? Don't buy me.
• 53:23
  I know they're they're just weak to bludgeoning.
• 53:26
  They are vulnerable to bludgeoning, but they have no
• 53:28
  resistances. But they are immune to poison.
• 53:31
  Just once again proving that poison is just the most useless
• 53:35
  damage type. And despite what Wizard says
• 53:37
  about the fact that we didn't balance things based on damage
• 53:41
  typings, I well, poison is just bad.
• 53:45
  I I really want to build like an A poison assassin character one
• 53:50
  day, just to like. Well, we'll take the assassin
• 53:52
  feet and shit, but like, yeah, higher level monsters are just
• 53:55
  immune. So it's at the point you're just
• 53:57
  like, why am I even even with the feet?
• 53:59
  It doesn't negate immunity. I think it only negates
• 54:02
  resistance, actually. No way.
• 54:05
  No, no, sorry. The feet negates immunity
• 54:08
  doesn't negate resistance. And then there's the there's the
• 54:11
  one spell, feet, that lets you like, pass over immunity or
• 54:16
  resistance. It's it's weird.
• 54:19
  I'm I'm talking like a bill that I looked up like a year and a
• 54:21
  half ago did not look that into it.
• 54:23
  But yeah, no. Most things poison just becomes
• 54:26
  hilariously worthless pretty early on.
• 54:29
  Kind of annoying fire damage also kind of has that problem,
• 54:32
  depending on what you're fighting.
• 54:34
  True. Yeah, like descent into Avernus,
• 54:39
  where fire damage is, I might as well not exist.
• 54:42
  Yeah, hilarious. And now you know why as pause, I
• 54:48
  made all of his damage. Psychic or lightning, maybe?
• 54:51
  I mean, yeah, a radiant lightning.
• 54:53
  Sorry. What the fuck was I, Arian
• 54:59
  staring up with the warlock? Warlock.
• 55:02
  Yeah, so the Warlock, because again, you know, the player
• 55:06
  ended up was dealing a good decent bit of damage holding
• 55:10
  their own against Gary and. Meanwhile, as this was going on,
• 55:13
  the players are still taking potshots.
• 55:15
  Darren's not really being affected by it.
• 55:17
  It comes time to where he has to use another layer layer action
• 55:22
  and the banish one is the only one he hasn't used because he
• 55:24
  still had Joe banished. So I'm like, Oh no, Joe has to
• 55:29
  come back now and I have to try and banish somebody else.
• 55:33
  To which he's like, all right, fuck it, I'll save the warlock
• 55:35
  for later. The warlock passed the save.
• 55:38
  Joe comes back and then the Gary's like, Oh no, Joe's like,
• 55:43
  yeah, Joe used the, the, I think the what's the average mind,
• 55:46
  their ultimate thing. They just transformed this
• 55:48
  horrific, like, goop rain monster and then basically just
• 55:52
  the old butt ton of psychic damage and he's like, this is
• 55:54
  what you get for banishing me, the whole fighting fucking nerd.
• 55:59
  No, I think they. They get some kind of form, no
• 56:04
  transformation. So they do get a form.
• 56:06
  They get revelation and flesh, which is they like, they can
• 56:10
  like become invisible and they get like a flying in a swim
• 56:12
  speed as they like sprout silly in their fucking eyeballs, stick
• 56:15
  out and stuff. But you're probably thinking of
• 56:17
  Warping and Plosion, which is their final ability, which is
• 56:20
  where they like, teleport and do a shit load of damage.
• 56:23
  Oh, OK, yeah. I don't actually know.
• 56:25
  My players weren't level 18 yet, so never mind.
• 56:27
  I'm just. Joe was just throwing every I
• 56:29
  can. Just say.
• 56:30
  Maybe you're just making things up that, I don't know.
• 56:31
  Maybe I'm just making things up. Yeah, Joe was just throwing his
• 56:33
  most powerful spells at him and just being like, fuck you, devil
• 56:35
  man. You never man.
• 56:39
  And then using this momentum, the other players managed to
• 56:42
  get, you know, break free of their ice spikes that were
• 56:44
  restraining them. And the warlock actually got the
• 56:48
  final hit in Hungarian, basically just slicing off his
• 56:52
  head with his sword and he's like, yeah, for the night.
• 56:54
  Devil bitch. Fucking he.
• 56:56
  Fuck your Test or the Spicy Boys.
• 57:00
  That's right, Team Spicy Squad. So the players they killed,
• 57:04
  Garian the Serpent, Lord fucking Nerd.
• 57:09
  The knight showed up because of course Devil Knight showed up
• 57:13
  and basically was like all right, good job, you passed the
• 57:15
  test, you did it. I'm going to give you, I'm going
• 57:18
  to give you your reward now, to which I gave the the Warlock
• 57:21
  player. I think I ended up home brewing
• 57:25
  one of the the. What do you call it, the wild
• 57:28
  mount vestiges? Because they had one that was
• 57:33
  like a bunch of like devil powers and fire shit.
• 57:35
  And I just basically gave it to the world.
• 57:36
  Like, I'm like, here's your, here's your reward, here's your
• 57:38
  sword. And then I also just leveled up
• 57:40
  the players because I'm like, alright, you're level 18 now
• 57:42
  trying to wrap this shit up. Let's go.
• 57:47
  And I also gave some of the players I think this is also
• 57:50
  from. Tomaphos where there are like
• 57:55
  certain abilities and shit you can give like monsters and
• 57:59
  cultists and shit like so. Like if you have a cultist who
• 58:02
  worships Ariel, you can have this thing that gives them
• 58:05
  basically like an action surge and like a bunch of other cool
• 58:10
  like devil powers and abilities and shit.
• 58:13
  I JC just gave a couple of those out to my players.
• 58:15
  Being like the Night Devil thanks you.
• 58:17
  Half the players are like can I can I refuse.
• 58:20
  I don't want devil magic. Can I refuse?
• 58:23
  Do you want to be like no it? Disappeared.
• 58:26
  Yeah, the Night Devils like. No, no.
• 58:28
  Take back slaps him. High five.
• 58:30
  No. But no, you can't.
• 58:32
  Yeah. It just paps him on the face.
• 58:34
  Now you have devil magic. Never go to a church again.
• 58:39
  God hates you. Yeah.
• 58:43
  So the players were after that deal.
• 58:46
  The players like, OK. Cool.
• 58:50
  Could we go back to the Fay Wild now?
• 58:52
  And Devil was like, yeah, sure, sure.
• 58:54
  However points at Joe, this guy is most likely going to get
• 58:58
  teleported to the far realm. I can't stop that.
• 59:00
  Even with my magic. There's something there's
• 59:02
  something wrong with him. I know the players turned to Joe
• 59:06
  and he's like, Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys, I got warned I
• 59:10
  had a bad impact. I.
• 59:12
  Got warned. Meanwhile, all this time, the
• 59:18
  wood wood has just been like doing the thing where he's like,
• 59:20
  he's drawing frowny faces and just pointing at Joe the entire
• 59:23
  time like this fucking guy. They can they not talk.
• 59:28
  No, I don't think so. Either way, it's funnier if they
• 59:32
  don't. No, they speak.
• 59:33
  Oh, they speak Sylvan, but none of the players knew how to.
• 59:35
  Oh, right, no. Right.
• 59:36
  So yeah, yeah, that checks out. So, like, like, speak English.
• 59:39
  You're a fairy tree man. And he's just fucking grown.
• 59:42
  He just flips on the bird. Yeah, don't tell me what to do.
• 59:47
  And so the players like, OK, I mean, we did.
• 59:50
  We just dealt with one boss fight.
• 59:52
  Surely the next one, that's fucking bad.
• 59:56
  Surely the next. I mean, we just beat up one guy.
• 59:59
  Surely we could beat up another one.
• 1:00:01
  Yeah, this is where I also pulled the Just Elder Ring Boss
• 1:00:03
  Rush shit. So they go, they go back into
• 1:00:06
  the far room, they see the seer. You know, the fucking weird
• 1:00:10
  tentacle guy floating in space? And he's like, oh, he's like,
• 1:00:14
  now you're back, now you have time to deal with me.
• 1:00:16
  Well, now I brought more worms and like three of the purple
• 1:00:19
  world worms. And then all the players turned
• 1:00:24
  to Joe and he's just like, listen, I I didn't.
• 1:00:26
  That's not my fault. I didn't.
• 1:00:27
  I didn't sign up for this, so, and I actually wanted to.
• 1:00:32
  I had this battle map where they're like on asteroids and
• 1:00:35
  there's like different asteroids with different colored runes.
• 1:00:37
  And I thought it was cool that I I had this idea that each of the
• 1:00:42
  worms were a different color, and then basically the players
• 1:00:44
  had to stand in the circle of the of the specific worm.
• 1:00:50
  No, Matt, you did a Final Fantasy 14 raid bus.
• 1:00:54
  Oh, is that what? That's oh shit.
• 1:00:55
  Because I thought it was a cool idea.
• 1:00:57
  And like, I mean, it worked. Yeah, the players.
• 1:01:00
  And it wasn't really a annoyance or any.
• 1:01:04
  Like it was a bit of a side annoyance, but like, the players
• 1:01:06
  mostly took it as all right, we just gotta do an extra step to
• 1:01:10
  kill these things. Okay.
• 1:01:11
  Yeah, there's a 24 man in 14 where you get to this hallway.
• 1:01:17
  There's 24. Mans consist of three groups of
• 1:01:20
  eight. So you get to a hallway and
• 1:01:23
  there's Three Bridges with the enemy standing on it.
• 1:01:27
  And then the corresponding color to make it so you can hit the
• 1:01:31
  enemy is on a different bridge, so like bridge.
• 1:01:34
  One has guy with yellow shield, but the platform for yellow
• 1:01:38
  shield is on bridge 2 and then bridge 2.
• 1:01:40
  Guy has the blue platform, so everyone, so everyone needs to
• 1:01:43
  have some people on the platform and some people killing the plus
• 1:01:47
  shit. Yeah, I did.
• 1:01:50
  That That's the fucking first rate.
• 1:01:52
  That's crystal sour. 24 the Three the three Atmos.
• 1:01:56
  On the bridges, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:01:58
  Crystal Tower specifically, specifically Cycrus Tower
• 1:02:03
  question mark, I think I don't. Yeah.
• 1:02:05
  Yeah, Circus Tower. I think, yeah.
• 1:02:11
  So the players, yeah, so they they took out the three worms
• 1:02:15
  all the while. The the seer who I think I use
• 1:02:17
  the star Spawn seer stat was just throwing hot you know magic
• 1:02:21
  psychic energy balls at Joe's character.
• 1:02:25
  They killed the worms. They killed the seer and then I
• 1:02:28
  was like you know what would be cool?
• 1:02:29
  If the, you know like good, all good bosses.
• 1:02:31
  They had another phase again, and the players like no.
• 1:02:35
  Please stop. And this is also when this is
• 1:02:40
  right after Van Rickten's guide came out and there's a cool new
• 1:02:45
  monster. They're called the Star Spawn
• 1:02:47
  Emissary. Yeah buddy, that's basically
• 1:02:50
  just a giant mass of flesh and tentacles.
• 1:02:52
  And I'm like, you'll be real unfortunate if the the seer just
• 1:02:56
  fused with all his worms just became this pile of gook.
• 1:03:02
  Yeah, the the, the rabbit face, the pig face and the fucking
• 1:03:07
  gorilla face and the monkey face really got me fucked up.
• 1:03:10
  It's fucking. It's horrifying, but this was
• 1:03:14
  also a really cool creature to use against high level players.
• 1:03:19
  Is that actually what it's art is?
• 1:03:21
  Yes. Yeah, that's not what it is on
• 1:03:23
  5V Tools. It is.
• 1:03:25
  It is. There's two of them.
• 1:03:28
  There's the greater and then the lesser.
• 1:03:29
  I use the greater. Hold on.
• 1:03:33
  I got here. I could just send you the link.
• 1:03:37
  Yeah, I threw this thing at them at the end.
• 1:03:39
  After all that, they did it. They they you know they killed
• 1:03:42
  the Seer. Finally Joe's old warlock
• 1:03:45
  patron, cuz now he's not. I don't even know cuz Joe went
• 1:03:48
  from being a somewhat cultist guy to a warlock of an old great
• 1:03:53
  one, to now just being an undead Abbot infused because of his old
• 1:03:58
  patron. I know I just need to take a
• 1:04:01
  quick backtrack. Just Internet 14 fans, don't
• 1:04:05
  crucify me. The Atmos thing with the Three
• 1:04:08
  Bridges I was talking about is from Labyrinth of the Ancients.
• 1:04:12
  At Circus Tower. So we're just Don't kill me.
• 1:04:16
  I double checked. Ever.
• 1:04:18
  The Ancients. Sorry.
• 1:04:20
  All right. Continue.
• 1:04:22
  So Joe's Joe's patron was like, alright, good job man.
• 1:04:25
  You did it. You survived.
• 1:04:27
  You you killed this year. Now you are my my chosen dude.
• 1:04:30
  And I I don't remember I gave. I think I gave Joe something I
• 1:04:32
  don't you. Are now my head ched?
• 1:04:34
  Yeah, basically. And Joe's like, neat, nice.
• 1:04:38
  And then basically he was like, wait a minute, patron, old
• 1:04:42
  patron? I don't know.
• 1:04:43
  But listen, but what? What are what?
• 1:04:46
  You're not like, evil, right? Like, and the patron just kind
• 1:04:52
  of struggles like, well, I'm tech.
• 1:04:53
  I'm like a great old one. Listen, listen.
• 1:04:55
  I mean. Evil is a matter of perspective,
• 1:04:57
  but yeah. Wait, please tell me this your
• 1:05:00
  his patron talks like the way you're talking now he's like,
• 1:05:03
  well, I mean. I have a great old one.
• 1:05:04
  No. So yeah, I did like a scary.
• 1:05:07
  I tried doing like a scary Kazulu voice, but.
• 1:05:09
  OK, but wait, did you just stay constantly a kind of voice?
• 1:05:12
  Yeah, I do. Is he just?
• 1:05:14
  Is he just like, yes. Well, I am evil because I am
• 1:05:18
  evil. Like, no.
• 1:05:19
  I literally was like, he's like, I'm kind of evil.
• 1:05:22
  Like, yeah, So kind of. I love the idea of of Cthulhu,
• 1:05:27
  but like you go to talk to him, it's just like, so like, are you
• 1:05:30
  evil? And he's like, I mean, like, I
• 1:05:32
  mean it's like a matter of perspective.
• 1:05:34
  I don't know what you just like, I don't know.
• 1:05:36
  But just give him like a Brooklyn accent or some shit.
• 1:05:39
  It's really casual, Cthulhu. Shipper.
• 1:05:44
  I don't know. You know, you're asking me a lot
• 1:05:45
  of tough questions here. And you like, wait really is
• 1:05:48
  evil, you know? What I'm saying you want to
• 1:05:50
  back? To the old one, you know I'm the
• 1:05:53
  priest. To the other ones, they're
• 1:05:54
  probably worse than I am. But I do some bad things too.
• 1:05:57
  Sometimes Some. Gabba, cool.
• 1:06:01
  You know, I don't know. So after all of that players
• 1:06:06
  returned to the Fay Wild, finally they get back.
• 1:06:10
  And I like, OK, no, we're playing, hopping.
• 1:06:13
  No more Hell's, no more space. Can we please get to the Fay
• 1:06:17
  Wild Forge thing, bro? Build this stupid teeth weapon.
• 1:06:21
  Why did you do all this shit from point A?
• 1:06:24
  To point like this is so much because I had a lot of
• 1:06:26
  background character shit. I had to wrap the fuck up and I
• 1:06:29
  was like, this is the only time we're going to be able to do it.
• 1:06:32
  I fucking guess this is crap again.
• 1:06:36
  This is GM burnout Matt Also not sleeping late I.
• 1:06:40
  Know, but Geo burn out? That should have done less crap,
• 1:06:43
  not more. Well, no, I did.
• 1:06:46
  Well, I did less crap because those were going to be their own
• 1:06:48
  story arts, and instead I just forced them the fuck into to say
• 1:06:52
  what? It's very.
• 1:06:53
  Insane. Fair enough.
• 1:06:55
  You know what else to it. You know what, I want to help.
• 1:06:57
  That's probably been what. Having less players?
• 1:07:01
  No, no, no. The less players thing.
• 1:07:03
  Again, I know you gripe on it, but honestly the less player
• 1:07:06
  thing isn't the problem because at this point I only had five
• 1:07:09
  players. I mean, that's because Sammy
• 1:07:12
  still. Too many in my my book, one
• 1:07:15
  player doesn't make a fucking difference between.
• 1:07:17
  Absolutely matters, all right. A whole last person is relevant.
• 1:07:22
  That's OK1 player can make the world of difference, but like 5
• 1:07:25
  players, that's all right. That's what I'm saying.
• 1:07:28
  Comparing 4 to 5 isn't that bad. Then when you get to like 6 and
• 1:07:31
  higher, that's when it's like. All right, this is the.
• 1:07:33
  Right. I mean, you're allowed to be
• 1:07:34
  wrong. But my point is, is if you have
• 1:07:35
  less players, you have less backstories.
• 1:07:37
  To wait, hold on. Listen, I'm just saying Matt
• 1:07:39
  Mercer has like six or seven players at a table at yeah.
• 1:07:42
  Matt Mercer's an idiot too. What are you?
• 1:07:43
  What's your point? I don't know, Sir.
• 1:07:45
  He's making pretty. Matt Mercer Get paid to do this
• 1:07:47
  or shit. You don't get paid to suffer.
• 1:07:51
  Yeah, I do it because I love it. That's OK You can love it with
• 1:07:55
  less people, no? No, Like an orgy.
• 1:07:59
  You don't have to have six. You could do three, you could do
• 1:08:01
  4. Wait, what is the actual limit
• 1:08:05
  of orgy? Like is I think. 4 because like
• 1:08:08
  3 would be a threesome, right? So four would be, you know,
• 1:08:10
  Yeah, it's a four is a foursome. That's what I think.
• 1:08:14
  I thought orgy was like, I don't know.
• 1:08:16
  I don't even know what like the limit like They're not, I think.
• 1:08:18
  Four is an acceptable number to be like, you know, small because
• 1:08:22
  that's just a foursy. You just swap partners all the
• 1:08:24
  time. That's, that's how that's still
• 1:08:27
  now orgy is like you swap partners and then you swap
• 1:08:29
  partners and then you swap partners, OK.
• 1:08:30
  So take a break and get some juice.
• 1:08:33
  You swap partners. I don't know.
• 1:08:39
  My point is more is not always better.
• 1:08:41
  That's where they all try to get at here.
• 1:08:43
  No, I agree. I agree.
• 1:08:44
  Below anything above 6, yes, I agree with you Sir.
• 1:08:47
  That's I think 6 is a good hard cap.
• 1:08:50
  I think 6 is a good hard cap because there will.
• 1:08:51
  Be times the hard cap, bro. Yeah, I think 6 is a good hard
• 1:08:55
  cap because again you might have sometimes where like players
• 1:08:58
  will miss a session. So at least you still have 5.
• 1:09:01
  Even if you miss two players, you still have 4.
• 1:09:03
  You still play? But but if you have, if you have
• 1:09:06
  less players, you miss session less because they have less
• 1:09:08
  people to wrangle inversely. You could miss it more because
• 1:09:13
  if you have less players and one person can't make it, then you
• 1:09:15
  can't run a game with two people, for example.
• 1:09:18
  I mean, you can. It's just not as.
• 1:09:19
  But my point is, is it's scheduling is easier with less
• 1:09:22
  people and you, you whether it's five or six scheduling,
• 1:09:26
  scheduling no matter what. But it's still easier with less
• 1:09:29
  people. It is just a factual statement.
• 1:09:32
  Yeah, you. Can't argue, you can't.
• 1:09:36
  It's a factual like you can, it's true.
• 1:09:40
  You cannot argue a truth, Sir. I mean, you would agree.
• 1:09:44
  I'll still argue it, Yeah, we will agree to disagree.
• 1:09:47
  There's no agreement here. It's a factual statement that is
• 1:09:49
  easier to schedule less people than more.
• 1:09:51
  That is just a fact. There's no argument between
• 1:09:54
  heads. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
• 1:09:55
  If you did it all. Right, y'all finished.
• 1:10:01
  I'm gonna head out. Fucking God.
• 1:10:06
  So they get back to the fair. Wild fucking board roads.
• 1:10:08
  Like finally. Fuck, I could bring these losers
• 1:10:11
  to the forge and leave them the fuck out of here.
• 1:10:13
  Fuck these guys. I hate them so much.
• 1:10:16
  Brings to the forge I ended up using.
• 1:10:18
  There was actually a map from Candle keep mysteries like a
• 1:10:22
  really cool like library kind of elf Dungeon forge map that I
• 1:10:26
  used that has this really cool system where there's a door that
• 1:10:31
  has basically where the forge is and everything locked up in this
• 1:10:34
  Ori. And the only way to get through
• 1:10:36
  is that the players have to fight like the guardians of the
• 1:10:39
  of the forge because this place was made way ancient times high
• 1:10:42
  oven magic Shit. The players like, all right,
• 1:10:44
  cool fight whatever, fine fine. The fight was a bunch of, I
• 1:10:49
  think it was. I forgot what the stat blocks
• 1:10:50
  were, but basically a bunch of like ancient elven, like
• 1:10:54
  guardians, like mummified corpses and a bunch of these
• 1:10:57
  iron golems, which I think there was like 3 iron golems and a
• 1:11:02
  bunch of the what are they called the mummy Lords, but they
• 1:11:07
  didn't have their spell casting, it was basically just really
• 1:11:11
  beefed up mummies. Just avoided up.
• 1:11:14
  Fucking mummy up mummies and the people the players like.
• 1:11:16
  Oh mummies, no problem mummy Just kidney punches one of the
• 1:11:19
  players. Oh God, it hurts.
• 1:11:24
  I just. I'm thinking of a fucking Matt.
• 1:11:26
  I know you for gore everything about red versus blue
• 1:11:28
  miraculously, but you have to remember the whole like meta
• 1:11:30
  moving in slum ocean thing. Oh no.
• 1:11:34
  You know when he's like when they they like, they fuck up.
• 1:11:36
  He's like time distortion ability and he's like oh he's
• 1:11:39
  moving slowly and fucking docs like oh that he's not like a
• 1:11:42
  threat, right. He's like no, no, no, he's still
• 1:11:44
  moving with the same force in mass.
• 1:11:47
  He we're just perceiving it as slower.
• 1:11:49
  Don't let him touch you. He's still gonna hit you really
• 1:11:53
  hard when he does. And Doc's like, what?
• 1:11:56
  Now That's not possible. And it like the fig takes his
• 1:11:58
  hell, like flying into a brick like that was good.
• 1:12:07
  So the players they they fight off the way the the mummy waves
• 1:12:10
  and everything. They also they will.
• 1:12:12
  I took a puzzle from Tasha's the one that had like the four
• 1:12:15
  elements and the players were like.
• 1:12:17
  They accidentally activated that midwave which summoned a bunch
• 1:12:21
  of all four of the the genies. I was here the the free D the.
• 1:12:25
  Gin. Oh my God.
• 1:12:27
  Yeah, so the player's like, what is happening?
• 1:12:29
  Where are these monsters? And Joe actually managed to
• 1:12:33
  solve the puzzle, so he ended that encounter pretty quickly
• 1:12:37
  because it's like a tile puzzle. Then you have to like put the
• 1:12:39
  tiles together in order to solve the puzzle so that the they were
• 1:12:42
  like these mural paintings on the wall and each mural will
• 1:12:45
  have a different genie pop out of them.
• 1:12:48
  And so while the players were fighting off all the iron
• 1:12:50
  golems, fighting off all the mummies and then fighting off
• 1:12:52
  these four gin that were just coming in, Joe's like playing
• 1:12:56
  with tiles on the floor like and then this one connects with this
• 1:12:58
  one, this one connects with this one and he managed to solve the
• 1:13:03
  puzzle. He's like, hold on a problem
• 1:13:08
  solving, Yeah, basically. So they finally like Joe would.
• 1:13:10
  Doing math. But they end up getting into the
• 1:13:14
  room where originally I was going to have another fucking
• 1:13:18
  boss fight. But then the players were like,
• 1:13:22
  they they I was like I seen like I've been throwing too many
• 1:13:24
  fights at them and let me try and do the you know, maybe they
• 1:13:29
  can conversate with this boss which was basically like this.
• 1:13:32
  You know evil kind of shadow fell touched Faye wild lady use
• 1:13:37
  a lot of like dark necrotic like glass magic and shit.
• 1:13:41
  And so the players initially were trying to talk her down and
• 1:13:45
  be like, listen you don't have to guard this for anybody.
• 1:13:47
  It's fine. And it turns out that she was in
• 1:13:50
  fact at the for my players just for homebrew story nonsense that
• 1:13:55
  she originally was in love with and working for the Overlord.
• 1:14:00
  And he basically just locked her in here was like, listen, just
• 1:14:02
  guard this for me. Make sure no one comes in.
• 1:14:03
  I'll be back in five. Never, never came back.
• 1:14:06
  I'll be back. Just getting some cigarettes and
• 1:14:08
  some, basically. And so she's been waiting here
• 1:14:11
  for, you know, centuries for this guy to come back and like,
• 1:14:15
  bring her, bring her home and tell her she, you know, he loves
• 1:14:18
  her. And so she's just bad and just
• 1:14:19
  fucking heartbroken. And so the players are like,
• 1:14:22
  trying to comfort her and be like, listen, you don't need
• 1:14:24
  him. You're fucking.
• 1:14:25
  You're a strong, independent Fay wild lady.
• 1:14:27
  You don't need no man. And then immediately, the
• 1:14:30
  barbarian's like, I'll marry you.
• 1:14:32
  I'll be your new. I'll be your new king.
• 1:14:34
  Don't worry, baby. We got this, I don't know, and
• 1:14:38
  the rest of the players like and then she she agreed.
• 1:14:44
  So now there, Now he's got a knife's new shadow.
• 1:14:48
  Fay, wild lady wife. What?
• 1:14:49
  What? She just agreed on the spot.
• 1:14:52
  Yeah, ma'am, She's a crazy, heartbroken fade, Josh.
• 1:14:57
  You do crazy things when you're in love.
• 1:14:59
  What The person you just met, I was going to say.
• 1:15:01
  She's in love with the guy she just said I don't I don't know
• 1:15:02
  about. That she is, you say?
• 1:15:04
  That is sort of their whole thing, where it's like they know
• 1:15:06
  emotion, everything. I fucking guess, yeah.
• 1:15:11
  They're they're so emotional. Their entire dimension goes off.
• 1:15:14
  What it the fuck it wants every two seconds of the day.
• 1:15:18
  The fate wall. Could you be like, it's on fire
• 1:15:20
  now and then Go. Actually, it's snowing, but the
• 1:15:23
  snow is fire and you're like, what the fuck The snow?
• 1:15:26
  Fire. Snow but the yeah, the players.
• 1:15:31
  So they averted that they got into the forge where they had a
• 1:15:35
  guardian, another guardian. But like it was like this
• 1:15:38
  actually used the art. I forgot what he this dude's
• 1:15:40
  called but the empty the art of the the elf with a with a long
• 1:15:45
  sword tied to his back and he's basically wearing like these
• 1:15:47
  purple kind of like Tarzan what do you call loincloth?
• 1:15:52
  And his skin is like blue and has stars in it.
• 1:15:55
  He's like made of space and everything and basically he's
• 1:15:57
  like on the last. Said Oh no, sexy elf man.
• 1:16:02
  Yeah, basically in the and then the the which the the Shadow Fay
• 1:16:05
  lady was like he was here the whole time and he made this.
• 1:16:13
  Basically this NPC was like, oh, I've been waiting for someone to
• 1:16:15
  come and I know the dragon queen is back and she's going to
• 1:16:18
  destroy the world, burn it down. You guys stop her and we will
• 1:16:21
  build this weapon together and they're like, OK, all right
• 1:16:24
  cool, cool, cool. And this is where I I told Josh
• 1:16:27
  last session about it because my players this all the time they
• 1:16:30
  thought that when they take the weapons they thought they heard
• 1:16:34
  that the weapon is going to be some sort of like sphere or ball
• 1:16:37
  or or spear. And they like made the joke to
• 1:16:40
  like oh it's the chromosphere, it's the ball it's going to be
• 1:16:42
  we're going to poke a ball the the final boss.
• 1:16:44
  It's going to be great. This is where I brought up where
• 1:16:47
  the this elf NBC was like, oh, who told you?
• 1:16:50
  Oh no, there's they're pranking you guys.
• 1:16:52
  It's not a spear and it's not a sphere.
• 1:16:55
  It's a dragon Lance. You're going to make a dragon
• 1:16:57
  Lance. And all my players groan like
• 1:17:01
  fucking nerd fuck. And I ended up, I think I ended
• 1:17:07
  up stealing the the critical role when they made made their
• 1:17:09
  the little beads, those those spikes they used against Vecna.
• 1:17:14
  I think I took that skill challenge and I added some of my
• 1:17:16
  own into it because I had more players.
• 1:17:19
  I had five players at the time, and each player got their own
• 1:17:23
  special skill challenge for their character and their
• 1:17:27
  skills. Like, obviously the barbarian
• 1:17:30
  fucking. He's like fucking athletics,
• 1:17:32
  like a motherfucker. He's like, I'm gonna rage.
• 1:17:34
  I'm gonna use all my things someone casts, enlarge on me.
• 1:17:36
  I'm gonna fucking pound the shit out of these magic items for my
• 1:17:40
  new wife, my new wife. He's like my new wife Joe.
• 1:17:46
  Joe used some, you know, some his sorcerer space magic, Well,
• 1:17:50
  I confuse some of her. The hex hexblade magic.
• 1:17:55
  The gunsmith made sure that the the the Lance was in its proper
• 1:17:59
  shape. Because he was.
• 1:18:00
  Because he, you know, works on making bullets and guns and
• 1:18:03
  shit. He was the only one who was kind
• 1:18:04
  of like proficient in like smithing.
• 1:18:07
  So he's like, I'll be able to shape it into the actual fucking
• 1:18:10
  thing. And the Shadow Monk also kind of
• 1:18:12
  infused some of his like shadow monk, monk magic.
• 1:18:16
  The key points stuff into it, I don't remember, it's been so
• 1:18:19
  long. But yeah, they built the Lance.
• 1:18:23
  I got it down and when I sent them the description of it.
• 1:18:27
  This is also when James Hake when he was working for D&D
• 1:18:31
  Beyond, he had that article about attacking a creature in
• 1:18:35
  the weak point. And I love that mechanic so
• 1:18:37
  much. So when I gave the players a
• 1:18:39
  stat of the Dragon Lance, it was like this +3 does all this crazy
• 1:18:43
  damage. Basically was like a mega dragon
• 1:18:45
  Slayer, but at the very bottom it had this whole paragraph of
• 1:18:49
  like killing the the the the main bad guy.
• 1:18:52
  And it's like when Furiix is at her, you know the players have
• 1:18:55
  to attack the weak spot with the dragon Lance in order to take
• 1:18:59
  out Furiix and you know can basically erase her from
• 1:19:01
  existence and the players like weak spot.
• 1:19:06
  What does? What does that mean?
• 1:19:07
  Mr. Elf NPC, To which He shrugged.
• 1:19:11
  I don't know. Figure it out.
• 1:19:12
  Yeah, basically. So that'll that'll come up
• 1:19:15
  eventually and I think I just 01 last thing and I'll I'll end it
• 1:19:22
  here. While this was going on and the
• 1:19:25
  players were fighting all the mummies and the iron golems and
• 1:19:27
  the four genies and then talking with the the shadow, the shadow
• 1:19:32
  Faywild lady that became the barbarian's wife.
• 1:19:36
  She had a bunch of these like basically statue glass people
• 1:19:39
  over and basically these were other adventures.
• 1:19:42
  And other people who broke in, tried to get into the forge and
• 1:19:45
  she she was just turned basically like a Medusa almost
• 1:19:48
  turned in the stone. But glass.
• 1:19:51
  One of the people they freed was the war chief for the for the
• 1:19:55
  orcs. It was Graham Hill Screen, yeah,
• 1:19:59
  who ended up turning out. And I I talked with Sammy about
• 1:20:02
  this was her very first character, the one that the orc
• 1:20:06
  the barbarian girl. The one that got the first role
• 1:20:09
  of the game was an actual 20, to cut the chin off the guy.
• 1:20:14
  And so the players are like, oh shit, she's an MPC now wait a
• 1:20:17
  minute. How fuck are you here?
• 1:20:18
  Why are you chief? Why are you a war chief?
• 1:20:21
  A bunch of blue orcs? You're not blue.
• 1:20:25
  And she's like, I know. I like how that's the part that
• 1:20:27
  they will. Yeah.
• 1:20:28
  That's the part they focus on. You're not blue.
• 1:20:30
  Yeah. What are you doing with these
• 1:20:31
  guys? I feel like there's other
• 1:20:32
  problems here, but OK, yeah, basically, she told them.
• 1:20:36
  She's like, oh, laughter. I left the party.
• 1:20:38
  I wandered around for a while. I fell.
• 1:20:40
  I fell down a rabbit hole into the Fay wild and basically just
• 1:20:44
  started taking over. I found these, these cool,
• 1:20:46
  these, the blue work guys, the white tusks, I think they're
• 1:20:48
  they're pretty neat, pretty fun guys.
• 1:20:50
  We started wrecking havoc, killing a bunch of people, doing
• 1:20:52
  all the, you know, evil barbarian things, and then they
• 1:20:55
  just look at Crugg the barbarian.
• 1:20:57
  They're like, why? Why are you all like this?
• 1:20:59
  Why are all Barbarians? Are all Barbarians Should not be
• 1:21:01
  like this. Why are you like this?
• 1:21:04
  He just shrugged. And so the players told her
• 1:21:09
  about their predicament with the the, the fake queen of the the
• 1:21:14
  Sealy corps and they're like, listen, Krug has to fight you.
• 1:21:17
  Can we can we get that over with after we make the dragon weapon?
• 1:21:21
  She's like, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, whatever.
• 1:21:23
  She's like, you know, you guys she's like, we were we were
• 1:21:24
  tight back in the day. I'll do this favor for you guys,
• 1:21:27
  but I'm probably going to kill him.
• 1:21:30
  And they're like, I don't know about that one.
• 1:21:32
  I don't, I don't think that's going to work because this is
• 1:21:34
  just crook because he's, you know, these guys.
• 1:21:38
  Like it's a living terrasse. Because it's not, it's not going
• 1:21:40
  to work out. It's crook.
• 1:21:45
  And so the players, they they build the weapon, they got
• 1:21:48
  everything ready and they're like, okay, we have to go back
• 1:21:51
  before we go back to the material plane.
• 1:21:54
  We have to deal with this because the Summer Queen won't
• 1:21:56
  let us. And then they started
• 1:21:59
  questioning like, wait a minute, how did I thought the Summer
• 1:22:01
  Queen said we couldn't leave the plane, but we were getting
• 1:22:04
  pulled left and right out of this fucking plane.
• 1:22:07
  And then that's why me being the DM, being like, well yeah,
• 1:22:10
  because those are other like powerful beings pulling you guys
• 1:22:13
  out of the plane. It's not you on your own doing
• 1:22:15
  it. She can't stop an infernal like
• 1:22:19
  arch devil from pulling you guys out of the the Fay wild.
• 1:22:22
  Or should we fucking yeah, she should probably try hard.
• 1:22:26
  We're like a weird psychic goopy star spawn guy and the players
• 1:22:30
  are like so we can't leave the Fay while on our own unless we
• 1:22:34
  do this. God damn these fucking Fay.
• 1:22:36
  I'm done with this. I hate all these rules.
• 1:22:40
  Yeah, so they go off. Basically after they build
• 1:22:44
  Dragon Lands, the elf NPC guy, the star skin guy basically was
• 1:22:49
  like all right, go go, you just have to kill her, go save the
• 1:22:51
  day when you do. So reality because of all the
• 1:22:55
  magic infused in this weapon is going to kind of warp around and
• 1:22:58
  change and you might not remember everything that
• 1:23:01
  happened. And like, what do you mean like
• 1:23:03
  well originally the old order, their way of trying to stop the
• 1:23:08
  God, the only way they thought the kill of God was just to
• 1:23:10
  erase their name from history and existence.
• 1:23:12
  And so a lot of the old order magically used up all their life
• 1:23:18
  energy to erase her name, to make sure no one can speak her
• 1:23:22
  name unless under very, very certain, like rare
• 1:23:25
  circumstances. Like you guys being attuned with
• 1:23:27
  the item and the players. Like, oh, that's why.
• 1:23:31
  That's why all the time ago, like anytime someone spoke the
• 1:23:34
  name, it was all staticy. That's why.
• 1:23:37
  Like. And we tried getting that one
• 1:23:38
  guy to write the fucking name of the God and the dirt and we saw
• 1:23:40
  nothing. It's just stupid magic.
• 1:23:43
  Because they done, they done deleted.
• 1:23:47
  It's just stupid magic. Just choose magic to make the
• 1:23:50
  problem go away. Yeah, and the LF.
• 1:23:52
  NBC was like, listen, to be fair, it almost works.
• 1:23:56
  It almost works. I like the play.
• 1:24:00
  Like, listen, we're trying to make it so she didn't come back.
• 1:24:03
  She almost didn't come back. So you know it's.
• 1:24:06
  Come back? It's something we tried.
• 1:24:11
  I can't really bother. Yeah and then the players were
• 1:24:13
  like okay cool cool. We're gonna let's just let's
• 1:24:16
  just go fight let this go fight the our let's go fight the war
• 1:24:18
  chief our old friend and get this over with.
• 1:24:22
  And so as Krug the barbarian goes you know you know goes
• 1:24:26
  one-on-one with this high level. I think I forgot what stats I
• 1:24:29
  gave her. I think I honestly did give her
• 1:24:32
  the stats of a thrask just for the meme which is as a as a
• 1:24:36
  small half work girl. And then basically she actually
• 1:24:40
  beat Krug and basically just killed him and just like wait a
• 1:24:44
  minute, he's like, I don't, I'm not wait a minute, I'm taking
• 1:24:47
  damage again. What is this?
• 1:24:48
  I don't like this. I'm supposed to win.
• 1:24:51
  I don't understand. I'm.
• 1:24:52
  Taking damage again it. Wasn't.
• 1:24:55
  He's like, this is bullshit. How dare you?
• 1:24:58
  Wait, wasn't Krug related to that character?
• 1:25:01
  Yeah, so out of character. Krug in real life, Buddy.
• 1:25:06
  Ragnar. Sammy.
• 1:25:08
  I know he's his adopters, yeah. But I'm saying the characters
• 1:25:11
  no. Oh, I thought the characters
• 1:25:13
  were too. No, no, the characters weren't
• 1:25:15
  related at all. No, Krug was 1/2 org.
• 1:25:19
  No Krug was sorry, Goliath Barbarian.
• 1:25:22
  Sammy's original character was 1/2 org.
• 1:25:25
  Barbarian, and then she switched over to the Snurf Febbling Bear
• 1:25:29
  Arian Druid that shows up randomly.
• 1:25:33
  As you do, yeah, so. So yeah, she ended up killing
• 1:25:40
  Krugg's character and the player's like, all right, cool,
• 1:25:43
  we're going to have to bring him back to life.
• 1:25:45
  And then the players remember that none of them know any
• 1:25:48
  fucking healing spells and they can't bring up anything.
• 1:25:54
  And they're like, wait a minute, they're like looking through
• 1:25:57
  their bags of tricks. And a long time ago in the Under
• 1:26:01
  Dark, they bought for just for an emergency.
• 1:26:04
  And I think it's an item in Wild Mount, too.
• 1:26:06
  It's a bag with this dust that'll let you cast the
• 1:26:08
  reincarnation. Spell it.
• 1:26:10
  Doesn't Krog have a fucking magic Fay wife?
• 1:26:13
  Can't she do something? No.
• 1:26:17
  Just no, she can't bring them back.
• 1:26:21
  Why not? Magic.
• 1:26:23
  You can't. You can't use the same argument
• 1:26:28
  that you yes, you fucking care. There's different types of
• 1:26:31
  magic, Josh. There are clerical magic and
• 1:26:33
  then there's weird Fay magic. God geez.
• 1:26:38
  And tell me the weird Fay magic can't bring someone back to
• 1:26:40
  life. Well, not.
• 1:26:43
  I wasn't near sat block, so I just said fuck it.
• 1:26:45
  Fuck you. I hate that response.
• 1:26:50
  So the players are like, all right, they just dumped the bag
• 1:26:54
  on Craig's body. They're like, alright, hopefully
• 1:26:56
  he comes back as a Goliath. I had him roll on this table
• 1:26:59
  that had every race. Boy.
• 1:27:03
  And he got a halfling. Nice fucking go.
• 1:27:08
  So for the rest of the campaign, he stayed as a halfling
• 1:27:12
  barbarian, wielding this, wielding this, which I said
• 1:27:16
  like, because he's like sitting there now.
• 1:27:17
  He's like, alright, I'm halfling now.
• 1:27:19
  Am I able to wield my great sword?
• 1:27:21
  He's like, I don't think I can. And I'm like, you know what,
• 1:27:23
  dude? You're wearing a fucking belt of
• 1:27:24
  storm drying strength. I don't give a fuck.
• 1:27:26
  Yeah, sure. He's like yes.
• 1:27:28
  The game, they hadn't come out yet, but he could have done
• 1:27:30
  that. OK, cool.
• 1:27:31
  So I consider myself size. Medium.
• 1:27:36
  I mean, yeah. So dumb.
• 1:27:38
  But also he dealt with it. Wait.
• 1:27:40
  If it was just a normal great sort, he could just buy another
• 1:27:42
  one. No, it was the wait.
• 1:27:45
  What do you mean? Well, you could just.
• 1:27:47
  Buy a buy a well no, no no. The heavy tag.
• 1:27:50
  Yeah, that's the thing. But I I just said fuck it
• 1:27:53
  because he like he's like listen he's like I my strength is a 29
• 1:27:58
  I'm I reckless every attack in general.
• 1:28:00
  Yeah because that's what the belt of storm drying strength
• 1:28:02
  gives you. I.
• 1:28:03
  Didn't realize it was 29. Hey dude.
• 1:28:06
  OK, well so he's like, he's like, listen, he's like, I'm
• 1:28:10
  just going to reckless attack anyways, He's like, so I'm like,
• 1:28:14
  you know what, Fuck it. I'm like, you can just wield it.
• 1:28:16
  It's fine. And I don't care.
• 1:28:17
  He's like there. Fuck it.
• 1:28:18
  Let's go. I like, I like.
• 1:28:20
  I like the hutzpah though, though.
• 1:28:21
  I'll just keep reckless attacking.
• 1:28:22
  I don't give a fuck. Oh, that was his joke because he
• 1:28:25
  dumped his. He was the barbarian that dumped
• 1:28:28
  dexterity and intelligence because he's like, he's like I.
• 1:28:31
  Don't need that shit. Yeah, he's like, I don't need to
• 1:28:33
  like, you know, Dodge. He's like, I'm a Bear Berry and
• 1:28:36
  he's like, I'm the, I'm the tank, like the total barbarian.
• 1:28:38
  Like, it's fine. I have so much health it's it
• 1:28:41
  doesn't even matter. He just didn't.
• 1:28:42
  Care about getting hit, He just said no.
• 1:28:44
  He just put all his stats in the strength and con took the tough
• 1:28:47
  feet. Like he just fucking constantly
• 1:28:49
  made sure that he had so much health.
• 1:28:51
  I mean, you do you. But he also rolled.
• 1:28:54
  Like, every time he rolled for health, he always rolled like
• 1:28:57
  almost Max. It was something dumb.
• 1:28:59
  By the end of the campaign, he had like almost 400 health or
• 1:29:01
  something like 400 health. I was like, fucking hell yeah.
• 1:29:07
  All right, so y'all take 80 health and Krug goes, Damn,
• 1:29:11
  that's like one. He's like weak, weak sauce,
• 1:29:16
  shame. But yeah, the players say so now
• 1:29:22
  they're like, okay, are we done? Are we done now, Krug, are you
• 1:29:25
  done with your nonsense? He's like Okay he he said
• 1:29:29
  goodbye to his his new, his new shadow wife.
• 1:29:32
  He's like, listen, I'll be back, shadow wife.
• 1:29:34
  I'll actually be back on like that other dickhead.
• 1:29:36
  He turned around, looked at her, pointed aggressively and said
• 1:29:39
  ride wife. Basically, yeah, life good.
• 1:29:44
  He's like, he's like, he's like and why come back?
• 1:29:45
  He's like, we are gonna have so many kids.
• 1:29:51
  Ride, wife, life good and and off they went.
• 1:29:54
  And at this point I just woke them up to 20 cuz I was like
• 1:29:57
  who? I'm like who plays the level 19?
• 1:29:59
  Fuck that noise. And so the last this last, I
• 1:30:02
  guess probably the next time we I, I record one of these
• 1:30:04
  misadventures. Just jump them to 20.
• 1:30:07
  Yep. Because they were level 18 at
• 1:30:08
  this point. And I was like, you know what?
• 1:30:10
  It doesn't. I'm like, why am I going to save
• 1:30:12
  level? Let them play at level 20 at the
• 1:30:14
  end. I'm like, fuck it.
• 1:30:15
  So they played level 20 for like the last like three or four
• 1:30:18
  weeks of the campaign. Because I was like, again, like
• 1:30:23
  who plays in 1918 is is really high.
• 1:30:25
  But also, I was like, hey fucking.
• 1:30:27
  Isaiah jumped to 19 my last session unexpectedly.
• 1:30:31
  Yeah, buddy. Wait, just Isaiah?
• 1:30:33
  Yep. I was kind of a head on XP.
• 1:30:35
  He was quite He was a bit ahead on XP, and I gave him enough
• 1:30:38
  that he went, oh, I jumped to 19.
• 1:30:40
  I went, wait, what? And then I looked and I was
• 1:30:41
  like, oh, shit, everyone else is 18 and Isaiah is 19.
• 1:30:47
  That's funny, Yeah. It's about to get real dumb when
• 1:30:53
  I hit level 20. I can't wait.
• 1:30:56
  Don't you? Don't you worry.
• 1:30:57
  But yeah, now I got the dragon weapon.
• 1:31:02
  They're all set and ready to go. They're level 20.
• 1:31:04
  Time for the actual end game. So I can, so I can, I can breast
• 1:31:10
  take my take, my DM break. Because at this point I was
• 1:31:14
  like, I was like so tired. I was like, fuck man.
• 1:31:18
  I mean, you say that you didn't stop for very long.
• 1:31:23
  Well playing or DM ING. Dming Oh, I I stopped for about
• 1:31:28
  a year. It was less maybe because like
• 1:31:35
  we were in because I was in. This is when I was also I was
• 1:31:39
  still also also still in Storm King Thunder.
• 1:31:42
  So I was in school, I was running my game, I was playing
• 1:31:47
  the center of Earnest with you guys and I was playing in Storm
• 1:31:49
  King Thunder at the same time. So I was stretching myself way
• 1:31:52
  too thin on top of college like it was.
• 1:31:56
  It was so dumb, like looking back on that.
• 1:31:58
  I did forget about which I again, I love the campaign and I
• 1:32:03
  love the the people I was playing with and like.
• 1:32:05
  It was a blast and honestly, as much stress as shit as I put on
• 1:32:10
  myself because of that. I wouldn't change a thing
• 1:32:12
  because it's such a good time, but it was a lot like looking
• 1:32:16
  back at it like fuck. Well, I mean, the thing you
• 1:32:18
  would change is just less shorter game, yeah.
• 1:32:25
  Pretty simple, I said it in the last recording.
• 1:32:30
  I think. I don't remember anymore.
• 1:32:32
  But like, if you're not going four years, is there really a
• 1:32:34
  point? Yes, yeah, I don't know.
• 1:32:38
  I think boss, I will say like finishing the 3 1/2 year game
• 1:32:43
  almost four years like I told my players to like stricts haven
• 1:32:48
  this like stricts haven mad mage came.
• 1:32:49
  I'm like when we hit the two year mark, I'm going to have the
• 1:32:52
  talk and be like do we still want to continue or do we want
• 1:32:54
  to stop because I feel like 2 years.
• 1:32:57
  How close are you getting? We just hit one year.
• 1:33:02
  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And things are going to start
• 1:33:05
  picking up and strict saving. But I'm also kind of like
• 1:33:07
  looking at Mad Mage. And now I'm like, I don't know.
• 1:33:11
  It's not even if I cut some dungeons, It's a lot.
• 1:33:15
  Yeah, no, I'd be, I'd be on that.
• 1:33:16
  I'd be on that. Wrap up grind, Yeah.
• 1:33:19
  What level are your players currently in?
• 1:33:21
  Strict saving? They're level 5.
• 1:33:24
  My God, after a year, Yeah, we did a lot of side stuff.
• 1:33:30
  Yeah, it was the thing with strict saving again.
• 1:33:32
  And it's a fun game. My players get to role play a
• 1:33:35
  lot more. There's not, as I've been adding
• 1:33:37
  more combats in because I know that was like one of the
• 1:33:39
  complaints they had was like, it's a lot of role play.
• 1:33:42
  It's a lot of like tests and like going through school and
• 1:33:47
  basically with combat of combat might happen every other game,
• 1:33:51
  if not every other two games. So my players have been like not
• 1:33:58
  dicking around but like doing a lot of other things inside stuff
• 1:34:02
  and role-playing which does add which you know it's like combat
• 1:34:05
  adds a lot of time but also like trying to do character shade
• 1:34:08
  like that that adds up to but yeah no but yeah I'm I'm
• 1:34:15
  enjoying stricts haven I'm the I again one of the other things
• 1:34:19
  like new Dms I get the appeal and I I did it too of like
• 1:34:23
  starting off with a whole new world and I'm going to come with
• 1:34:25
  all the law and everything and as crappy as the stricts Haven
• 1:34:30
  bare bonesness is of the actual campaign in there working off of
• 1:34:34
  that has helped so fucking much and made life and prep so much
• 1:34:39
  easier for me. Nah.
• 1:34:44
  I refuse but. I'm weird.
• 1:34:48
  I'm weird in between here because at one point I find it
• 1:34:51
  really easy to like, you know, other than just hitting full
• 1:34:54
  block, which you know you're going to have that in a campaign
• 1:34:58
  setting, not going to. You're going to have that
• 1:35:01
  whether you're using something pre written or not.
• 1:35:04
  Yeah, but if it's my setting, I can do like, I know how to more
• 1:35:09
  easily break it, correct? I don't know.
• 1:35:14
  I feel like even with the like, like you're playing in Forgotten
• 1:35:17
  Realms, it's not your Forgotten Realms, it's not your version.
• 1:35:20
  So you can do whatever you want. You like, bend it, twist it, you
• 1:35:23
  know, there's that. I forgot what the secret elf
• 1:35:24
  forest in the Forgotten Realms is that no one's ever supposed
• 1:35:28
  to go to. And I forgot.
• 1:35:30
  It was like a DM layer video where he's like talking as if
• 1:35:32
  one of his players accidentally spilled the beans on where it
• 1:35:35
  is. And now all the forgotten Romes
• 1:35:37
  knows where the secret elf city is and want to go after it.
• 1:35:40
  And you know, mine all the elf gold or whatever the fuck
• 1:35:42
  they're hiding over there, which you forgotten Romes.
• 1:35:45
  That shit wouldn't normally happen, but because it's a home
• 1:35:48
  brew game, fuck it. It doesn't matter.
• 1:35:50
  It's true. I think The thing is right is
• 1:35:52
  like you wouldn't necessarily know.
• 1:35:57
  About that hidden elf city in a prewritten game, Unless you,
• 1:36:00
  like, did enough research where if it's your setting you like,
• 1:36:04
  you're like, oh, I've heard about this crazy elf city you're
• 1:36:05
  like it is there. Now you can set your own
• 1:36:09
  ramifications, yeah. I mean I'm not against using pre
• 1:36:22
  sting stuff, definitely don't prefer it.
• 1:36:27
  But overall what you guys think of this?
• 1:36:29
  I don't even know what ARC to call this cuz this is the.
• 1:36:32
  This is the mat is so fucking done.
• 1:36:34
  Please finish. God, I just want to be done.
• 1:36:36
  Everything sucks. Please let me finish Arc.
• 1:36:38
  Not everything sucks, but I was just tired.
• 1:36:40
  I was burnt. Fuck out.
• 1:36:41
  Pain and suffering Arc. That's what I think we call this
• 1:36:43
  man. Even throughout all that, even
• 1:36:45
  with the burnout, the GM burnout, it's OK.
• 1:36:47
  You can say you were having a bad time at a chunk of the
• 1:36:49
  campaign. It's OK.
• 1:36:50
  I was too. Like, it's fun.
• 1:36:52
  I'm saying with the burnout, but I'm just saying I still like the
• 1:36:54
  game. No, I know.
• 1:36:55
  I'm just saying. I'm just saying you're like, I
• 1:36:57
  feel like you're constantly having to defend like, no, no,
• 1:36:59
  still it's OK. You could say that, that there
• 1:37:01
  was a chunk of the campaign where you're having a bad time.
• 1:37:03
  It's fine. Well, it's that's the thing.
• 1:37:05
  It wasn't really, it was like a mixed bag.
• 1:37:09
  It was a bad time. But again, running the game,
• 1:37:11
  when I'm in the game, like, you know, all that shit goes away
• 1:37:13
  and I'm having fun, joking my friends, fucking doing fun dumb
• 1:37:17
  stuff. But then it's the after the game
• 1:37:19
  that's when it really like GM Burnout hit and I was like fuck.
• 1:37:25
  So I don't know. I feel that, yeah.
• 1:37:27
  I'll go for go for it. Sorry.
• 1:37:29
  No, there's definitely days where.
• 1:37:30
  I'm prepping and I'm like, God, I don't want to fucking do this.
• 1:37:34
  I'm like, God, I'm having so good you started prepping.
• 1:37:37
  I have to. I have to.
• 1:37:40
  Now that the end game is coming up, I gotta start rapping.
• 1:37:42
  But I gotta start fucking tying loose ends off.
• 1:37:44
  I'm so. I said, like the last six
• 1:37:49
  months, I've been so much prep. In in comparison to my old like
• 1:37:56
  my old, you know, 20 to an hour. Before sessions, probably.
• 1:38:00
  Still less than what most people do.
• 1:38:04
  Maybe. I mean, I do like an hourish for
• 1:38:11
  a session. Probably.
• 1:38:13
  Unless I'm unless I'm having big ideas and then I'll do more, but
• 1:38:18
  it's not the huge. I'm pouring over maps for like
• 1:38:24
  hours being like, oh I like this one but I like this one and I'm
• 1:38:27
  pouring over stat blocks and putting stuff together and being
• 1:38:30
  like when they have this and how do I do this and.
• 1:38:35
  Maps I can't. Now that I've started shilling
• 1:38:40
  money to the the map Patreons, it's a lot easier.
• 1:38:43
  But then there's always that one map that you're like, I just, I
• 1:38:45
  just need this. It's in my head and it's never
• 1:38:50
  there. Like, I'm just, yeah, I just.
• 1:38:51
  I just get help with that shit. I just find the closest map to
• 1:38:53
  what I want and I'll deal with it.
• 1:38:55
  I can't even find that for my current idea.
• 1:38:57
  Like the idea I have is so fucking weird.
• 1:38:59
  I'm like, there's no way I'm going to be able to find a map
• 1:39:01
  for it. So I don't know what I'm going
• 1:39:04
  to do. We'll get there when we get
• 1:39:06
  there, but overall, would you guys, would you guys think of
• 1:39:11
  this this weird? I I love that your players
• 1:39:15
  cannot. Not be terrorists.
• 1:39:18
  They try. They it seems like they tried to
• 1:39:20
  to not be terrorists this time around.
• 1:39:22
  They failed. And they still committed
• 1:39:24
  terrorism on a on a dimensional scale, on a literally cosmic
• 1:39:32
  scale. Listen, what happens in other
• 1:39:34
  dimensions, it doesn't count. It's fine.
• 1:39:38
  Until you go back to that other. Dimension counts, yeah.
• 1:39:43
  And you know, somehow I don't think the Fay will forget.
• 1:39:45
  I'll be honest, probably not especially Craig Craig's going
• 1:39:48
  to be the new Terrasse, so. I do want to know how we get to
• 1:39:52
  that scenario. I don't now come next, Next time
• 1:39:56
  in the last one. I do camp the camp, the end
• 1:40:01
  game, the big fight with the bad guys, the final bad guys.
• 1:40:05
  And what did the party do after the campaign or the characters?
• 1:40:10
  Spoiler Joe casts wish four times.
• 1:40:13
  Four times. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:40:16
  Remember I told you that a while ago?
• 1:40:18
  Joe got lucky and he imagined the.
• 1:40:20
  Cast. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:40:21
  It's basically next. Next week I'll explain more what
• 1:40:24
  happens, but he got super lucky. All right.
• 1:40:34
  Well, but yeah. Thanks for Thanks for listening
• 1:40:36
  to these ramblings of a madman, everybody.
• 1:40:39
  Don't forget to follow us on your podcast platform of choice.
• 1:40:43
  Anything else you want to say, Josh?
• 1:40:47
  Yeah, Follow us on Twitter. If it hasn't burned down.
• 1:40:49
  There you go. All right.
• 1:40:53
  Until next time, guys. What would you do?
• 1:40:55
  How many wishes can you cast in a single month?
• 1:40:58
  Let us know in the comments below.
• 1:40:59
  OK, my number is 0.