Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Your Relationship with Time and Conversations with God with Sarah Cronin

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Your Relationship with Time and Conversations with God with Sarah Cronin · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: We as a whole, or I know that I could believe that it's never okay to say no because that's not Christian and that's not kind when really that's not even what we see Jesus doing in scripture.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: He he did set boundaries and he did say no to things.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, the clarity of this dutiful stance brought me into this new awareness of, whoa, I need to check in with the Lord first to say, is this mine to do?
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: And let him say yes and sometimes no.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: What if I told you that your communication pattern not only clarifies your unique strategy to get what you desire, but it also explains your view of time?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's wild but true.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I like to take it one step further because your natural inclination or focus on particular aspect of time, and I'm referring to past, present, or future, it also impacts your connection with God.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Friends, if you enjoy nerding out with me on how God has uniquely created you, you will love this conversation.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Now, while I didn't specifically label this episode as part of a series, if you're newish to the Enneagram or aren't 100% certain you know what I'm talking about when I say Enneagram stances or communication patterns, then you might want to go back and listen to last week's episode about this very topic.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: I've set a foundation that will be important to what we're going to talk about today.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Today's conversation with fellow wholehearted coach Sarah Cronin will build upon the insights of three distinct communication patterns and outlines how you are likely to focus on a particular aspect of time or what is referred to in the Enneagram space as orientation to time.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: Not only can we use these insights about our focus on time to make better decisions at work and strengthen our relationships, it can also outline transformational rhythms that we can engage in with the Lord.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm fairly certain you've met Sarah by now, as she has appeared on a few episodes this year, and she and Janae hosted the summer mini-series that you all loved.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: The orientation to time concept caught her attention as she expanded her Enneagram coach training with the wholehearted coaching process.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: And recently she has led several workshops at a church and even hosted a local retreat where she expanded on this topic to guide people through reflection exercises for spiritual formation.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, she is also doing a deep dive at this year's wholehearted recharge retreat.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Sarah and I have loved discussing this and relating this topic to spiritual direction.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I figured sharing some of our conversations with you would be well received and we would have a lot of fun in the process.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna talk more about this in our conversation, but for now, Sarah has formed an incredible, small cohort group that is about wholehearted identity, and it's designed specifically to take you from weary to beloved and helping you embrace God's replenishing rest.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: There is so much great content, but I'll share more of that later.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: All right, have I piqued your curiosity about communication patterns, orientation to time, and your connection with God?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: All right then, let's get started.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Hey there, I'm Amy Wicks, your guide by the side for your wholehearted journey.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: And friend, I get it.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Life can be a whirlwind, juggling family, work, and all the in-between.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: As a wife, mom to three teenagers, and building a growing business, I felt the overwhelm, the doubts, and the struggles too.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the thing: the Lord took my broken-hearted pieces and turned them into a beautiful story of clarity, peace, and joy.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: And now I'm here to help you do the same.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: With years of experience as a certified Enneagram coach, spiritual director, and working genius facilitator, I am here to provide you with practical wisdom and inspiration.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Through expert interviews and real life examples, you can uncover your strengths, motivations, and God's unwavering love.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: And together, we're gonna explore biblical truths, different personality profiles, and life rhythms that will empower you to break free from anxiety, shame, and frustration.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: I have walked the path, my friend, and I know the challenges you face.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I'm here, by your side, cheering you on as you embrace wholehearted living.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: So grab your headphones, invite a friend, and let's embark on this transformative journey together.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Simply Wholehearted, where we laugh, learn, and flourish as a community.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: All right, yay, Sarah.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: I have you on this podcast again.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just you and me, we get to dive in to this topic that I have been hinting at and diving into bit by bit over the last couple of weeks.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: And today we're gonna get super nerdy.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: I've already promised our friends who love to nerd out on the Enneagram, we are gonna do this together.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: So before we get into new information, I thought it would be fun for you to share in your words a description of the different communication patterns or what is also known as Enneagram communication stances.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I would love to.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, as a reminder, we have three different communication stances described in Enneagram, and they are the assertive stance, the withdrawing stance, and the dutiful stance.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'd love to give just a high-level reminder of what each of those might look like and show up as.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so, as a reminder, these communication styles or stances are the strategies that we use when we are trying to get our needs met.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we do a few different things, and so our assertive stance are those who are going to move toward people to get others uh to meet their needs.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so they are going to react to stress by making themselves bigger, by boosting or expanding their sense of self.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's you, Amy, um, rather than backing down or withdrawing.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: And um, it's going to be their intention to assert their opinions and ideas to try to get others to, you know, to be persuaded to or convinced and go along with what they are proposing.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then quite opposite of that, we have our withdrawing friends.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so our withdrawing friends are the ones who are going to move away from people to take time to examine their thoughts and their feelings.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they're gonna create some distance or space to do that.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And their hopes is to um are to create a sense of calm or or inner peace.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: So they're going to react to stress by retreating maybe to an inner world of imagination or zoning out, even if they're physically present in a social setting, they might be mentally or emotionally um disengaged.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then lastly, we have our dutiful stance, and those are the types that are going to move alongside of others to get their needs met.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so they have a healthy intention of cooperating with others and they do an awesome job of this.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: But when in stress, they're going to react by serving others, but it's more coming from a sense of duty or obligation, something I have to do.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and they're often asking themselves, how do I meet all of the expectations that others have of me?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: I love a couple of things of how you helped us stepped out of the Enneagram box.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: One, you didn't throw the types right in there right away.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I did that with our last episode as well, because I want people to keep coming back to what are these actual patterns and how do they relate to me?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Are they like me?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: Are they opposite of me?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I also like how you went through the information because you went the two ends of the spectrum by talking about assertive and withdrawn, and then you talked about dutiful, which falls somewhere in the middle.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I love how you contrast those.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: It makes a ton of sense.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: And the invitation is always to just be willing to go, okay, how have I always communicated and what's been consistent?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Because you and I both know we've adapted our communication pattern.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: I have slowed way down.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: Those who've listened to my podcast for years, they know I have to purposely work at it and I have made a practice of it.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't change my communication pattern.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's just the growth in my pattern.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's such a good point too, Amy, because as we look at these three stances and we say, well, which one is me?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we have to remember that the healthier we are, the more we we will be able to access each of these places.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we can learn behaviors of maybe at work, it's more important for me to be assertive, or maybe at home, you know, to be dutiful.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so we can learn those um behaviors that might be appropriate or healthiest for the scenario, but our stuck place is when we fit in one of these categories and only one of these, right?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: And we're taking it to an extreme unhealthy place.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's actually a positive thing if you can see, no, I have learned how to adapt to different scenarios and pull on strengths of each of these stances.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: For you, what was your experience in understanding Enneagram stances or discovering your communication pattern?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: What was that experience like?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: But then also what has it led to over time?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I know we'll have a lot of things it's led to, but you know, the immediacy and some of the transformation that it may have brought for you.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so actually I feel like I had a pretty solid awareness of my type as a two and those motivations and those fears.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: But specifically the communication stances isn't something I was familiar with until I did one-on-one coaching with you, actually.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember it being, yeah, I remember it being in one of our worksheets and the way that you had it worded, um, specifically about so I'm in the dutiful stance and specifically reading, being triggered by the constant needs and demands of those around me, whether that being kids or friends, work, home, and feeling like everyone is demanding from me, and that's causing me to feel overwhelmed.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: I remember specifically relating to the phrase of getting swept up.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And you can ask my husband, that is a phrase that I use probably daily.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because you know, when you brought this new awareness to me of am I letting the expectations of others sweep me up so much so that I don't even know where I'm going.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know, you know, what my purpose is or if I'm walking in that.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: I just know that daily I am meeting what is being asked of me.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that is falsely giving me a sense of value and worth.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I'm doing what I should be doing.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so that new awareness uh really has led me to this place of I need to come to the Lord every time there is a new request of me or expectation put on me.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, obviously with kids, that's not something that can be done every single time, right?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's there's just some responsibility as a mom you have to look into right away.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but if it's a bigger ask or request, then I need to actually go to the Lord in prayer first and say, Lord, is this mine to do?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Are you asking me to participate here or not?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I think as Christians, you know, I we as a whole, or I know that I could believe that it's never okay to say no because that's not Christian and that's not kind when really that's not even what we see Jesus doing in scripture.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: He he did set boundaries and he did say no to things.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, the clarity of this dutiful stance brought me into this new awareness of whoa, I need to check in with the Lord first to say, is this mine to do?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And let him say yes and sometimes no and be okay with saying no to others in a kind and loving way, of course.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: I love how your unique experience outlines the power of the one-on-one coaching process because I love sharing facts and and honestly deep insights a lot of times in these podcast episodes, but nothing can help you experience what is in the process of the one-on-one, like the one-on-one.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like us being able to have a conversation about that one sentence and unpack it, how it specifically rates relates to you, and then the transformation it's brought from that conversation is so powerful.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, this is yes, I love talking about the Enneagram.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, we can read books and laugh at memes and share things on Instagram, but wow, once again, reminded about a simple thing on a worksheet, but in conversation with someone who has understanding with it too, can bring about such beautiful fruit.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I've seen you continue to unpack that over this last year for sure.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, I feel like you've revisited maybe some of that aspect even more than anything else that we covered because it's been so helpful.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And what I love about the one-on-one conversation that you mentioned is that that is an ongoing thing.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Just because it was introduced in a worksheet and we talked about it in that session, that really was just the beginning of it.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, even within this past week, we have exchanged messages about this exact topic.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's the beautiful part of having a coach is that they can continue that conversation with you because guess what?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna show up again and again and again.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a one and done.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm thankful for that with you.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I agree.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: I am so, so grateful.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: Now, a little bit at the beginning, I hinted that we were going to be talking about orientation to time.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: And the idea of orientation to time can feel like a mouthful or a little bit unclear.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so if I could boil it down a little bit, it the definition itself means how we relate to our personal experiences, decisions, and interactions, and specifically in the format of past, present, and future.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a really interesting concept that I admittedly don't remember what Enneagram teacher first introduced the topic to me.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: But I know, and it may have been Suzanne's deville or something along that line of some of the information that she shares.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I just remember coming across the concept at first and going, what?
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: It just blew my mind personally, because like you, there were aspects about my personality type that I knew I needed to work on, but I felt like the orientation to time helped me go deeper in a way that actually brought about transformation because it gave me more language around this idea.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: So when we talk about orientation to time, it's how we process, view, experience things, how we are present or not present and where we are in that moment, or even how we relate to the present.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: So there's so much to this.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: And we're, I promise, what I hope to do at least or achieve in this time is to break it down little by little and make it really relatable.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: So you can go, oh, I think that's me.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: But then also hear the tidbits that will help you take the next step for you.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna break this down bit by bit for so first, I'm gonna talk specifically and give you kind of the overall view about how people relate to their personal experiences, decisions, and interactions within their Enneagram stance or the pattern of communication that we keep talking about.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I like to start with the withdrawn, and we're gonna talk about the withdrawn stance or the withdrawn communication pattern and how they are oriented to the past.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: So they have past orientation.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, four highlights to understand about that is that a person with a past orientation, they tend to be more reflective and nostalgic.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: And they often draw lessons and insights from their past experiences.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: The withdrawn stance also may focus on memories, history, and the impact of past events on their present situation.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: So they're in the present situation, but they're focusing on the past.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then this specific orientation to time can also feel a deep connection with traditions, heritage, and personal growth through self-analysis.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: So they they just are more naturally reflective, right?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: They're thinking through what has happened.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Then the present orientation or the dutiful stance and the dutiful communication pattern tends to be present-oriented.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: And they are attuned to the current moment and their immediate surroundings.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: They're hyper aware of what is going on around them.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: They prioritize here and now and they they enjoy or even focus on the tasks and responsibilities that are at hand.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like they're they're really there in the moment, knowing what is being expected of them, or even that word sometimes demanded of them.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: And while they might excel in being present for others and recognize what is needed in the present and responding to the immediate needs, sometimes that itself, that responsibility, feels just that responsibility and slightly overwhelming.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: And this orientation to time can bring a sense of responsibility, attention to detail, an ability to fully engage in the present moment, which on the surface sounds really wonderful, but it has its own unique struggles, as you will attest to, Sarah, and we'll unpack in a little bit.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: And now for the assertive stance or the assertive communication pattern, their orientation is to the future or future-oriented.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: And they are forward thinking and future thinking.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: They're always thinking about what's next.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: They're driven by possibilities and goals and the aspirations for what lies ahead.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: They also may hyper focus on planning, setting targets, and envisioning outcomes.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: And ultimately, this can lead to a sense of optimism, anticipation, and motivation to create a better future, but it can also cause them to miss out on what is in the present moment or even avoid reflecting on the past.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: And what I just alluded to, we know that with any typology, there's always a downside to the upside.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: So for the most part, we can take a moment and think about the positive nature of our orientation to time.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much good about it, and there are gifts that we offer to others.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: But we'll continue to unpack this even more.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: The withdrawn stance in their past focus, it can lead them to rumination, to dwell on past regrets or missed opportunities.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas the dutiful or present focus stance, they can experience overwhelm.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: Sarah, you mentioned that a few times.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: They might miss out on envisioning a brighter future or God's greater plan.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: And the assertive as their future focus, it can lead them to feelings of discontentment and they may risk losing touch with the present moment and experience even anxiety about getting to the next thing.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: So, all right, that was a lot.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully, some of you have opportunity to take notes.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, hopefully after you're done driving, right?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but what do you think I missed?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: Anything in particular, Sarah?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: I know that I've created a lot of content on this, and you and I have talked about it a lot.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: Anything that you'd add to that?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think you did a great job overviewing the three different orientations to time.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: And what I love about this is it helps us to realize our natural or our default setting.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so if that is our starting point.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: But what we want to make sure, as you reference those downsides, we want to make sure that our starting point doesn't become our stuck point.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we stay there, it can lead to, you know, as you said, rumination or overwhelm or discontentment.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so there is huge opportunity for growth when we're able to say, oh wow, this is my default setting.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: These are where my blinders are.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: How can I zoom out and be invited to those other two time orientations to get a step closer to God's overall reality, you know, outside of time?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, that is good.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad you emphasize that point because I to realize where our stuck point could be is so huge.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: Again, we talk about the transformation and we want to get out of the Enneagram box.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: And all of us are looking to get unstuck from those places that we feel trapped in or we keep coming back to and keep tripping us up.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: So So for you specifically and what I want to talk about today, and I know there's so much more to unpack together that we've had fun nerding out about.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: But when when the whole idea of connection to your type and communication and time, how when did it when did it connect for you about how it impacts our ability or even your ability to rest in the Lord's presence?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, as we are all on a journey of spiritual formation, right?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: We are all being spiritually formed, either more into the image of Christ or farther away from it.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: I love getting to take different concepts of the Enneagrium and view them through that lens of how does this affect our faith?
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so if I'm seeing the world through memories and reflection and nostalgia, man, how does that affect how I view God?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so that question and curiosity arose in me one day, and I was just headstrong of finding the research and asking friends, um, and you know, pulling some data in of people that are in different stances just to ask that question as you have experienced this orientation to time and your everyday life and experiences, how does that affect your relationship with the Lord and your ability to truly rest with him?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm excited to share just the snippets of each orientation and what I feel like I've learned along the way for our past or withdrawn friends.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: The upside and the beauty is that in their relationship with the Lord, they can really rejoice in God's faithfulness to them.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because they have such a clear view of their story and of the memories, they can quickly access this place of God has been so faithful to me.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they have clarity on those Ebenezer Stone moments where I remember what God has done for me.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and they can then use that as an anchoring point for that present moment and for the future because I'm sure of God's goodness to me because I've experienced that over time.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: But on the opposite end, the one potential stuck place is to stay in the past, to remain there.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so that can look like holding grief for maybe what used to be true but isn't anymore.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, maybe this disappointment or desire for things to be how they once were.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's an invitation there in relationship with the Lord to use the anchor of past experience to be invited deeper into God's goodness.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that is going to be the restful place for the past-oriented people.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then that can be kind of that launching pad of what drives them forward into action, into what is God doing now right in front of me, and then also dreaming for a hopeful and bright future ahead.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: And for our present and dutiful friends, they can have such clarity on God's activity so they can recognize God's presence in the current moment and what he is currently doing.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, our family often uses the phrases of God winks, right?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: If if there's a moment where something happens in the day and it feels like, oh, that song is on again.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: We heard that over here and we read this verse.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, when God is connecting all the dots and it feels like he is winking just for us.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that is something that the present stance is not that the other two are not able to experience that, but the present-minded people are able to see that a little clearer and have a quicker access point to it.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then also because they can see the needs and expectations right in front of them, they have an ability to be God's hands and feet right there in the moment because they can see a need and meet a need.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but on the opposite end, the potential for a stuck place again is to get overwhelmed and enveloped by all of those needs.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so that is a place that can pull us out from rest, away from rest, because we feel like we have to keep up with the activity around us.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that, as you can imagine, it is far away from the rest that the Lord offers to us.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so that invitation, as I mentioned before in my own learning, is to slow down and ask God, where do you want me to participate?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: instead of just getting swept up.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that makes the activity that we are doing, it makes it more restful in itself.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: And we're getting to do it from a place of true joy and abiding peace in Him.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then for our future and assertive friends, they have a clear grasp on uh what God is going to continue to do.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: They're expectant, they can pray with boldness that yes, God, we believe that you are going to come move here, and we're asking you to do it.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they can have eyes on God's bigger vision and mission and kingdom work and then activate and initiate and spur others on through a sense of hope and optimism.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: That is beautiful.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: You can imagine what a gift that is to the past-oriented friends and the present-oriented friends.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so they know there's nothing that God cannot do, and then they can confidently lead others in that truth.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: But on the flip side, because they are naturally doers, their potential step place is to be doing so much for God that they they forget to and and bypass just being with him.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so their invitation is to step into that place of rest by stopping the activity and just being with the Lord or even being with others around them without feeling the need to move us forward as a team to experience God's presence in that current moment and then also to spend time reflecting on the past, which might be really difficult.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but as I mentioned in the beginning, the beauty here is hey, God is outside of all of these time orientations.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: There is no past, present, future to him.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: It is one reality, one present moment for him.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so the more that we can learn to grow from and be invited to these other orientations, the more we're stepping into God's reality and and join a joining with him in what he is doing.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: All of that is so profoundly beautiful.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope that as our friends were listening, they're capturing some of these unique insights for themselves and how, wow, that is what I offer.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: There's something so beautiful that I can give to the body of Christ and my community and my people that other people don't necessarily do naturally.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, and that's where all of this kind of comes back to the beauty of the Enneagram and understanding our different personality types is going, oh wow, I offer this unique viewpoint.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: And then on the flip side, okay, this is also where I can get stuck.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of just beating ourselves up and getting frustrated, of like, why do I always end up here again?
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's knowing why you do and then what you can do about it, right?
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because we all have an invitation for growth.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: I also love this quote that I ran across recently by Beth Moore.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: And she said something to the fact that God never takes his eyes off of us or the clock ticking over us.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt like that took us back to this theme that no matter what lens is natural for us, the past, present, or future, that God is outside of time and yet he is fully aware of the time experience that we are having.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: So when we're feeling like time is running out or the past is overwhelming to us, or the future is overwhelming to us, God is fully aware of that and totally outside of it, but continuously on us and the need that we have in that moment from him.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I just uh to me, I feel like that was a beautiful reminder of how he is so like over and above it and yet totally with us in it.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: The other thing that left out to me that I wanted to just touch on for a quick second was about how our orientation to time also relates to grief.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I won't unpack it here today, but I will promise that that is coming up here because that is also a conversation that I know I have with a lot of my one-on-one clients about how understanding how we perceive and experience time is also how we tend to grieve most of the experiences that we go through that are about loss and disappointment and times of suffering and pressing.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, it's just such a fascinating subject.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: So much to unpack here.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: I am excited for you to be able to share more with our community about this, not only at the retreat that is coming up here, but also in your cohort that we're going to kick off in September.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'm really excited.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: I love connecting with all of you, and I'm excited for what that cohort can bring because it is a smaller, more intimate space, and um it can be a two-way conversation.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: So really looking forward to that.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: And for you, I'm kind of curious, what was some of the takeaway from the retreat that you had there close to your hometown back in July when you got to unpack this material in even greater detail with reflection questions and guided questions to be able to discover a little bit more about yourself?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'd love to share.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: That was such a joyous day.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, ultimately the purpose of the day was to provide a space and a setting for people to come get away and just have a space of silence and solitude with the Lord.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I know how unnatural that can be for most of us compared to our normal daily life.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so, in talking through this material of past and present and future time orientation, you know, I wanted to provide some question prompts for those spaces of solitude and silence.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it truly was beautiful to experience people who came in thinking, I today I need to talk to the Lord about A, B, and C.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then through a lot of these questions and um just reflection prompts, how God uncovered and revealed and the how many comments people said about wow, this feels like a step towards healing for me or a step towards restoration.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because this isn't a natural conversation we have of are you past-oriented, present-oriented, or future-oriented?
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: What you don't?
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: But through just a little bit of coaching and really just intentionality to dive in and to ask ourselves hard questions and to bring that before the Lord, He can really use that receptive space to work and to form us.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it was it was a beautiful day.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and and there's much more to come.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, and much more to come, which my future self, I'm like, yes, more to come.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it was.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and yeah, I'm looking forward to all that we have coming through the whole hearted community for the whole hearted community ultimately.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: But for now, I'll just recap what some of what you've said and this concept.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want you to know as you are listening, my friend, that as you're thinking through these different things, maybe you're hearing this insight for the first time, take time to absorb it all and to look at the whole picture.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: Again, remember, just as the Lord is past, present, and future, we have the ability to step back and engage in all of it and overview all of it and step into that.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_01: Just because you you tend to think about the future doesn't mean you're never reflective, right?
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe, maybe you had parents who really were good at helping build that strength in you as a child and they were, they were both past oriented.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so they invited you to that process.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_01: Or just because you tend to be more present-focused doesn't mean you're always engaged fully because um you're dealing with overwhelm.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it also doesn't mean you can never that you never give time to think about the steps ahead, even in that day.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_01: So there's so many nuances to this.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: And this is really a high view that is better explored with a guide and with time and the right kind of questions to help you either really land what is meaningful to you, but then also taking those steps to use the transformation exercises and experience fuller growth.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: So again, remember just take time to observe in yourself and observe how these land and and then maybe take it out to others and go, oh, now I know why some of my friends communicate this way or tend to engage with time in this way.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then that it can be that helpful tool in building compassion and understanding with others.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, now as I go through these, Sarah, if you have anything to add, feel free.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: But so when we talk about the withdrawn stance or the withdrawn communication pattern, they are past-oriented.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: And their overall step for growth is going forward into engagement and dreaming for the future.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: That is the invitation for growth.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: For those who are present and present-focused and in the dutiful communication pattern, there it is all about them recognizing God's presence and slowing down to discern God's will.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: And the future-oriented or the assertive communication pattern, it is about finding rest in God's presence and reflecting on his faithfulness.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: Now, anything you would add to this, Sarah, as we finish up today?
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the only thing I think I would add is remember the next step of this is to say specific to my type, right?
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: There, I have specific motivations as to how this plays out and why I do this.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so, yes, the 378 are all assertive and future, but there can be a lot of different flavors of what that looks like and why they are that way.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it is helpful to still see these groupings and the similarities between.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: But remember, there's no need to compare yourself to someone else or or that kind of thing.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: For example, future might be tomorrow and this week for one person, but for someone else, they're always seeing five year, 10 year.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's not one equation for what for what this might look like for you.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is so good.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: And to your point, we haven't given specifics for all nine types.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: We have grouped them in a way that is hopefully a little bit more digestible when we're trying to have this on a conversation about this.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: And we don't have that sheet in front of us to review and check off things.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: So there are nuances, as you said, to each uh personality type.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why it's worth in unpacking it a little bit more with yourself in a book or talking with a coach one-on-one and hearing about what it looks like for you specifically, or, you know, perhaps even considering jumping into the next wholehearted identity cohort with Sarah, and not only talking about these specific things and our conversation with God, but the overall soul care and growing from weary to beloved and uh really finding true refreshment and rest.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, um, Sarah, I'm so excited for you to be doing this.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you so much for unpacking this insightful insight.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: I I know teaching conversations on the podcast are a little bit tricky because we want to make sure we cover all the points.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I know you prepared really well for this, and I'm so grateful for your time today.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thanks for having me, and I love talking, especially with you.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, and with all of our listeners.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, thanks for having me today.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: All right, friend, I hope that you take some time to reflect on your specific Enneagram types communication pattern, your orientation to time, and how you can deepen your connection with God by embracing the strength and the invitation of your unique communication stance.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much here to unpack.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you take some time to reflect and absorb what you've just learned today.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe, in fact, you'll want to share this episode with one friend who will enjoy nerding out with us and could really use the insights to help them in their spiritual journey.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: And remember, next week I'm gonna come back with more information that relates to this topic.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna go even a little bit deeper and hopefully continue to expand your insights and your mind about how you communicate and what that means to your relationships.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: So until next time, friend, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your simply wholehearted life.