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Step Into Your Confidence · Divas That Care Network

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's Divas That Care Radio, stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is a global movement for women, by women, engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: To find out more about the movement, visit DivasThatCare.com after the show.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right now though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: One
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: just has to pick up a magazine or turn on a television to see that we as women are bombarded daily with media images of female physical perfection leaving us with the most unrealistic of expectations as to how we should look.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: No wonder female body confidence is failing while incidents of eating disorders are on the rise.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: What's most alarming is the way this affects young girls.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: A reduced sense of self-worth can create anxiety, stress, even depression, causing relationship issues while potentially impairing academic and job performance.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: In direct contrast, Confidence in Bloom is designed to send the opposite message to any woman of any age, shape, or background who has ever felt inadequate, unworthy, or tossed aside because of how she looks.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: You matter.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: You are enough now.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: I, Tina Spoletini, a woman of substance, insist that women deserve to be happy, confident, successful, not to mention so totally in love with themselves in their own bodies just the way they are.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Through an ongoing series of intriguing conversations with women from all walks of life, who are all extraordinary in their own right, I will take us on a journey of ultimate self-acceptance and empowerment.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: Together we'll share the stories, laugh, learn, maybe even shed a few tears when you realize how far many women have come to realize just how wonderful life is when you stand in your own power, feeling fantastic in your own skin.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Today I'm speaking with Erin Best.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Erin is...
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: a woman from Calgary.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: She lives with her two husbands and her two children.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: She loves trying new restaurants, spending time with good friends and family and thrifting.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, Erin.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, Tina.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, how's it going?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Good, thanks.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Confidence in Bloom podcast.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Nice to be a part of the conversation.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's really nice to be back.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: This is my third time, I think, talking with the Divas That Care Network in some capacity.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: So it's nice to be a repeat welcome guest into your group.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's awesome.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: And we love to have you back.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: We loved having you sharing your story and your little tidbits and advice.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm happy to share.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: If it helps one person, then I think we've done the right thing, so that's great.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: Right, exactly.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: So let me know what you think the definition of confidence is.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's a bit of a loaded question, but I really feel that confidence is the feeling that we have when– We are unwavering in our sense of self, right?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think confidence really necessarily translates into, you know, I don't think it can be measured by all the successes, but I feel like confidence definitely is something that you feel in any circumstance, in any walk of life, wherever you are.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: I tend to agree with that.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: I tend to agree with that.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so how do you think confidence affects your everyday routine and your everyday life?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I think confidence is when you're able to make decisions that help you move forward with your day or move forward with bigger things that you're working on.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think as parents and as women, We often second guess ourselves in a number of different situations and we shouldn't.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: I think what we really need to make sure that we're doing, like if we're tethering this to confidence and decision making, that we know ourselves and we know what feels good and we know what feels right and we know what is going to be allowing us to move forward in the next step.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right, yeah, I agree.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: I agree with that.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: So how do I word this?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Let me think.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not dumb.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: I like the way you explained it because it's not something that we live every day, but we kind of have to look for it.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think there's consequences.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, Katina.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like when it comes to our confidence, I think you absolutely nailed it.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: We don't necessarily feel confident every day, but I think there are certain places in our lives that we shine the brightest, and that's where our confidence lies.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I think...
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: when it comes to building more confidence and becoming more confident in its truest form, we have to draw from where we shine brightest and apply it to the areas of our lives that maybe we don't feel quite as confident in.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, that's perfect.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: I love the way you explained it that way.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's perfect because I could feel confident in, let's say, organizing a client's closet But I need to take that confidence into where I'm maybe, like in the coaching area where I'm not maybe as confident or vice versa.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I like that.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, I've got one of my girlfriends, you know, she's neurodivergent and she runs a beach body business, you know, just for example.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: And she says, I'm not consistent, I'm not consistent.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, 100% you are.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: I said, 100% you're consistent because...
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: What you do and what you show up for the rest of us online is your consistency in you committing to your workouts and committing to all those things that get you in the best shape that you're in.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: You're capable of consistency, and now you know you can do it.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: You just have to apply it into a different sphere that will build your business more, right?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: you know, we're consistent or, you know, we're good at this.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, then we give ourselves that self-limiting belief that, oh, I can't do it.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: But you can.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: You're just, you're showing up in that way in a different facet of your life.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: And now you just need to learn how to apply that fundamental, you know, thing into different spots in your life.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: So that way you can kind of become a little bit more well-rounded, more confident, more competent, all the rest of those things.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so would you say then that that's mindset?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's a little bit mindset.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: I also think that when it comes to creating change in our lives or stepping into our confidence, I think we get really hung up on the concept that our mindset has to be ready for us.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't necessarily think that's true, just from my own experience.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like whether we're confident or not, we have to be prepared to take the small step and take the action.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't have to be a big action, but there has to be some action.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what happens is when we take those little steps, or even if it's just a little step, and we stand in that power, and we say, oh, okay, I did this one little thing.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to give myself a pat on the back, and that's all kind of good.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then we become consistent with that small step, and then we're able to do another one in addition to the one we just did.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: So we start stacking these little movements.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think it's so easy for us to get caught up in so far down the line what it should look from a year from now, and we don't recognize that these little steps– The first little step, too, is really important.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I think your mindset changes as you take the action to get to where you want to go.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think that they're independent from one another.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think they both lean into each other, right, your mindset and the activity that you take.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: But I think, in my experience, allowing yourself the grace to take that little step and sit in that power and acknowledge it is a really important thing to do.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: And as you said, like when you stack up the little steps, they create like a bigger, like a longer path.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: They're just in baby steps instead of one big leap.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of like atomic habits, right?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like any habit that you want to make, you need to start by the stacking.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: You start by little actions at a time.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly that.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when we let ourselves acknowledge that, hey, I did a really good thing, that boosts that confidence, right?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it feels good.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I want to get off the couch and get moving and get active or lose weight or whatever.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, great.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to get a gym membership right away if you know, you're just not getting around moving enough.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Go for a walk for 15 minutes and see how that makes you feel.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I bet you it's going to make you feel good, you know?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then, okay, well, next time it's a half an hour.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, now it's, you know, time to implement personal trainer.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's time to go to the gym because now you have all of these tools and your mindset's pretty good to continue doing the things independently, right?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: You're probably going to lean on, you know, different people a little bit less because now you have the tools and the confidence to do the things on your own.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right, yes, I agree with that 100%, because it doesn't just happen.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: You need to kind of prove to yourself that, wow, I can do this, right?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: I did that, so if I did that, I can do this, right?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then, again, you prove yourself, and then you gain that confidence.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just like you're building this little snowball of confidence for yourself.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Right, for sure, for sure, because every little step closer to that confidence is, builds that confidence a little bit more.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: So do you celebrate when you're building up that confidence muscle, let's call it, do you celebrate yourself?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Do you celebrate every step that you've taken?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe not like a definitive celebration, but, you know, I definitely feel like there's acknowledgement that has to be had.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like it's really easy to gloss over the little steps because we don't always recognize the impact that they have.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I think if there's success to be acknowledged and success to be celebrated, yeah, definitely, right?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: Take that time and say, yeah, good job, you.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: And is that what you would do?
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Or have you in the past– maybe done like more of a celebration where it's not just a pat on the back, but you actually go out and you reward yourself.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever done that for yourself?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, totally.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this last year was really important for me.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: I did a lot of personal growth and professional growth with designations and courses and things like that.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: So they were important because they allow me to move forward in my career path.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: And when I celebrated or when I finished my first designation back in November, you know, my husband recognized how hard I'd been working for it.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: So he said, hey, just a heads up, there's an Amazon package coming for you.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just really proud because I had gotten a really good score on my test, right?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: It was a good moment just in its own self.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: I also think it depends on whether or not you're extrinsically motivated to do a good job or intrinsically motivated to do a good job.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: I did a good job because I wanted to do a good job and understand the content, right?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: So that was for me enough.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, my husband was super cute.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: and he had ordered, you know, one of those female empowerment mugs and it showed up and it was really awesome because, you know, he saw me really dig into the content and the information and he knew it didn't really come easy for me.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: So having that acknowledgement, that wee little celebration was really nice.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then earlier this year when I completed my second designation, you know, We bought cake and, you know, we had champagne and, you know, we actively said, this was awesome.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: We did it.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: I did it.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it was nice, you know.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think when you hit the big milestones, it's really important, even though you're probably feeling really either emotionally exhausted or physically exhausted or mentally exhausted.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: I still think it's important because it allows you to feel proud of what you did and it allows you to kind of take a step back and say, okay, here's what I might need to do next, even though it's okay to camp out in that sense of accomplishment for a little bit.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it also reminds you how good it feels to be acknowledged.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: right?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Even if it is just by yourself.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: I agree 100%.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I love how your husband totally supported you.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, I mean, don't get me wrong.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think that it's uncommon for a husband to support his wife, but to actually celebrate almost without you by ordering you that gift, right?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, he was like, wow, she's doing a great job.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's a super fan.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: He's a really big supporter and You know, I know I'm very fortunate to have the partner that I do in everything that we do.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, it was super cute, and I wasn't expecting it, and I certainly didn't hint that I wanted it.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: It was something that he had done on his own accord.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, it was super nice.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's beautiful.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's beautiful.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I know, like, we always say, you know, your story is your why.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I also believe we all have– many stories, right?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have one story that we live at any time.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: Can you maybe tell me quickly and our listeners just one of the stories that you have lived that has actually changed your life and created the best version of yourself?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure I can do that.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think for me, and I think when you create the best version of yourself, right, For myself, I started that process from a place of self-doubt and negativity and dissatisfaction.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to say I was in rock bottom, but I definitely wasn't in a great spot mentally, emotionally, all the rest of it.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: So to put myself in a place where I am now, which is very, very different than I was then, you know, back in 2019 before the world stopped, I wasn't doing well.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: We had moved to a new community and, you know, we didn't really have a large friendship circle.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: And there was a lot of change happening in our world.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it was in...
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: April of 2022, so just last year there, where we knew that we had an opportunity to physically relocate to a larger center.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a city that, we're in Calgary, obviously, so it was a city where I already knew people and I really love the city anyways.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: So we really just took the opportunity and it was fast and it was pretty furious and our kids are still harboring some resentment for moving and things like that.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: But overall, there was a sense of relief that we had made a change.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: And change, and I'm sure all of our listeners can agree that it does not happen overnight, that it takes a lot of courage and it takes a lot of resiliency and consistency to make positive change.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so for the first little bit when we moved to Calgary, You know, I wasn't really sure where I wanted to land and I wasn't sure where I needed to go.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I knew that I needed to do something for myself to kind of get me out of this funk that I'd been living in for a few years.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, when I talk about, you know, I want to do something good for myself, I'll tether it back to that example I said where I want to take better physical care of myself.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what I did.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: I started going for small walks in the river valley just to get out in the sunshine, just to get out.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: just to feel good, just to get moving.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: And from there, it allowed me to do more with my body and more with myself.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, walk turned into some jogging and then some jogging turned into, you know, hiring that physical trainer that's really pushed me to a place.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, if you're worried about physical fitness getting in the way of your goals or you don't feel like you have the time, like you do, right?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: And the benefits of building that kind of a routine into my life was really important.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: And now, you know, it's part of my routine and it's part of my non-negotiables and it's part of my weekly schedule.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: And what it allows me to do is get really clear when I'm at work.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: It gives me a space and an event in my week where I get to kind of burn off some of that stress and steam.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's now something that I really look forward to.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, in becoming the best version of myself, you know, That's where it always started, you know, is building in those physical fitness outlets.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't have to be big, right?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: But it has to be somewhere.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, when I think back to when I was maybe the happiest or when I felt in the most control or whatever, when I felt like I was the best parent for my children and the best spouse for my husband, it was when I was being physically active.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: It was when I was running.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: It was when I was lifting weights and things like that.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so it really just kind of put me in a position where I had to reevaluate what I have been doing with what I should be doing based on past experiences past timelines in my life.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so what I've really started doing is implementing those things again where I know they're going to make me feel better and feel happier because I'm doing it for me again.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I love...
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: how when we were scheduling to get together for coffee, the time that I gave you, you said, no, I'm not available at that time.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of my non-negotiable moments where I only do that.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's a non-negotiable.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: I will not change my appointment with my trainer.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh, my gosh.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: I tell people that all the time.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: When you schedule it on your calendar, nothing, no one can change it for you.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: But I move my calendar around all the time, right?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't follow what I preach.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: But you were like, no, I can't change that, Tina.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, we'll have to reschedule.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like in awe.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: I thought, oh my gosh, this is amazing.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that you make your non-negotiables.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: And when it comes to physical fitness, I mean, I'm not a big exerciser.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: I really don't like it much at all.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: But that's where you start, right?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: When you feel good in your body, then you are stronger mentally to make those decisions that, no, I cannot change this.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I need this.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: I need this for that day because I will have a crappy week if I don't do that.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: And like, you know, let's just add on to that, right?
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like when we talk about non-negotiable or when we talk about boundaries, I think that confidence definitely comes into play, right?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because, again, you're standing in your own power.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: You're saying this is really important to me and I'm really sorry, but this is what it has to be, right?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when we have more confidence, that conviction, it's easier to set boundaries because we know what we want and we know what we need, right?
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, exactly.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I want to ask you like what steps you've taken.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Now, you kind of, you know, when you explained your story of moving back to Calgary and then, of course, with the, you know, getting out, it started off with getting some sunshine, a little bit of movement that slowly, you know, brought your mindset up a little bit.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: You kind of worked that muscle.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Were there other steps that you took to get where you are today Yeah, definitely.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: So when we first moved to Calgary, so like I'm a licensed realtor.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: I have been for the last nine years.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I transferred my license when we moved to BC.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was a really hard grind.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: I transferred it back when we moved to Alberta last year because I was just like, this is what I know.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: This is what I'm good at.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just see.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what's going to happen with it.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, was I super passionate about building a real estate business for the third time in a decade?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Not really.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I transferred it just to keep some options open.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: And when I first got here, I knew I needed to give myself something back for me.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I actually skipped out this little gig at one of the loveliest consignment stores here in Calgary.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: And for about two months, I worked there.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it was really good to just get engaged with other humans and other women and just, you know, customer service has always kind of been in the root of what I do.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: So it was a really great safe spot for me to get climatized to the city a bit and to build a bit of a network and to just, you know, give myself a bit of a sense of purpose, right?
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was fortunate enough to secure...
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: a role in property technology with a really great company.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it was really kind of game over from there.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: It was just like, I have to have this job.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is right up my alley.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is exactly where I want to be.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I went for it.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: So now for the last eight or nine months, I've been with this company and I think when we give ourselves an opportunity to say yes to things, even though it's probably not ultimately what we want, I think when we give ourselves a stepping stone and a chance to catch our breath, I think that allows us to make really good decisions.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: And we get to make those really good decisions from a place of confidence because we feel good about where we're at making them.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're not feeling good in your body, your mind really isn't that open.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's not really like, it's not doing the best it can be for you.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: No, because it's much easier to sit in negativity and to dwell on the stuff that's going wrong for us or, you know, where we can stew in our deficiencies, right?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm not smart enough.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not this enough.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm, you know...
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm to this, I'm to that.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's really easy to stay in that mindset.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I think, again, just being okay with knowing that one step is all you need to take.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're not going to get to where you want to go ultimately, but taking that first step and giving yourself the grace to do that and the confidence to do that, I think is really just a big game changer.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think Social media and TikTok, it's really easy for us to see, you know, the reels and the videos and the posts and things like that where, you know, I'm a super fan of boss babe culture.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's great.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: Women empowerment, it's such a fantastic thing for women to build confidence.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: But I also feel that sometimes it gets glossed over about how much work it is to free yourself from those negative mindsets or to constantly I'm out of a really dark space.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's like, oh, set yourself free and, you know, live the life that you absolutely want.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like, great, how do I get there?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, really when we get granular about it, that's it right there, right?
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: you're not going to get the big break to magically transform your life.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: There's the small steps you have to take, and there's a lot of podcasts that you're probably going to listen to to unlock some of your insecurities, and there's a lot of books that you're probably going to read, and maybe you need to reevaluate the people you hang out with.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: But I think when we strip down big change, there's a lot of little steps in between that gets you to live your best life.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: I agree with that.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: And the thing is, you can read every book there is on personal development.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: You can listen to every podcast.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: But if you don't take action, change will never happen.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: Change is the catalyst for more change.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like, action is the catalyst for more change.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: I agree 100% there.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: So what...
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me what it looks like to actually...
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Claim the power, your own power in your life.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's a big one because, you know, again, for myself, it was about really doing what was right for me.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, parents and mothers in particular, I think we're quite different.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: we enable ourselves to become people pleaser.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'll look after me after the kids are done.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'll look after me after the laundry's done or after the floors are shut or whatever, right?
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: But I think what happens is when we stand in our power and we say things like, no, this is what I need right now and we follow through on it, that really helps us.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: That really helps us stand in that power and claim that space the way that we should and in a way that makes us a better parent or a better partner or a better employee or whatever.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: But I definitely think from my own experience it was about being clear on where my priorities were for myself And, you know, making sure that my family really knew that, you know, this is why I was doing it.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: And this is, you know, how it needs to be structured for me.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, like, you know, the root of all of my confidence was really because I started giving back to my body, right, my physical fitness.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: And So Wednesdays is my trainer day, Thursdays is my independent gym day, and whatever else I get in between.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: But for those two sessions in particular, those are my boundaries, right?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to go, it's important to me that it happens, and we're going to do it, and that's it.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: And the trickle effect has been that...
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, with so many other things that I'm able to say, okay, I feel good about this decision and I'd like to follow through on this decision.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it creates this confidence that we were talking about earlier, not just for that one thing, but for you to kind of take a stand and take control over what you want, as long as it's not negatively affecting other people, to stand in that power and make the decisions and be confident in those decisions.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to add as well that when, you know, you're putting some things on hold, I don't want to say that you're not doing, there's some things that you will not do anymore.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: But when you have to say, you know, right now, I need a little bit of tea to fill my cup, right?
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: You're also mentoring, you know, the people around you, right?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: They're seeing that I'm feeling burned out or I'm feeling like I'm going to be burned out.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm going to take a break.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to fill up my cup and then I'll get back at it.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: right?
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's part of it too, right?
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: You're, you're doing them a favor by not giving to them right now because you're teaching them that they can make that decision to say, I'm, I can't do this right now.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: And like, you know, certain keywords like, you know, I don't have the bandwidth or, you know, it's too much for me right now.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I don't have the brain space for it or I don't have the energy for it.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and, and, you know, it's, It can be hard to do, especially if you have trouble with boundary setting or you are a bit of a people pleaser or if you kind of fawn when people feel a little bit upset with you, right, to make things better.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's really important that we acknowledge like, oh, do I do any of these things now?
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: And if you do, if that answer is yes, then yeah, right, you're going to have to take some steps to even just baby ones, right?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm going to have a bath tonight?
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: Can you put the kids to bed?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so tapped out.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, I had a really busy day at work for meetings.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, can you read to the kids?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because if I read anything else, my head's going to explode.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I think, you know, doing those little things that help stand up for yourself, you know, allow you to stand up for bigger things as you get more confidence.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: Would you say that right now where you are, you are living the best life?
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I say, you know, I think we go through different seasons, right?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: Existing in our lives or building things up in our lives.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: I would say right now we're in a pretty sweet spot for both my husband and I in terms of our careers, in terms of where we live, in terms of, you know, the age that our kids are.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it doesn't come without challenges and things like that.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I say we're pretty sweet right now.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: I like that.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty sweet.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: So just give me a brief outline or whatever you want to call it of what your day, like your everyday looks like.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: And how does that include maybe self-care and your confidence building?
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: I try not to do a ton because I think sometimes simplicity is the best.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: But a lot of the time, we're pretty consistent when we get out of bed.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's usually between, you know, 7 and 7.30.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, if we pre-fill the coffee pot the night before, then that's great.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: And if not, we'll make a K-cup.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, that'll be the way that we start our day, right, for my husband and I.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: We definitely get into the coffee first.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then we support the kids getting out the door and making sure that, you know, they've done their morning routines.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: And we don't need to walk our kids to school because it's pretty close and they're pretty resilient little humans but I like personally walking them out to school in the mornings because it gives me an extra you know 10-15 minutes of fresh air and gets my body moving first thing you know right in the morning and then I'll take a few minutes in the mornings and 20 minutes or so and I'll have a second cup of coffee and you know I'll take a look at my day and get a good grasp on you know what meetings I have or what priority tasks I have and I've taken a lot of time to figure out what kind of a day planner I like the best.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's really important because at one point I really just was, you know, one of those brain dumpers and it was just like all the things and how do you determine what's a priority out of, you know, a really large list.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I figured out that the time blocking day planners are really, really amazing tools when you're juggling a few different things, right, between family and work.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I started using one of those.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: And what it allows us to do is, you know, it allows you to kind of focus on three or four priorities or like your targets that you really want to get done that day.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then you kind of have a brain dump section.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then you have, you know, an hourly breakdown of how your day wants to go.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_01: And one thing I learned in past coaching, like business coaching, life coaching, and things like that, is that, you know, I think we get so overwhelmed on trying to hit all the things, right?
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_01: When everything is important, nothing is important.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, really learning to decide what's the priority that day really helps you, one, get the big things done, two, kind of sets the tone that you did actually get a ton of accomplished, a ton of things accomplished, right?
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because you got your big, heavy, you know, weighted item out of the way.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: And anything else that you can do is kind of gravy, right?
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: And anything that wasn't a priority today, maybe it is tomorrow, but it's good to kind of keep in mind what needs to be done moving forward for your week.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I spend about 20 minutes just kind of making sure my day is set and And, of course, things can come up and meetings can cancel.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, I think it's important to identify, like, what are your targets?
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: What do you really need to get done today and move forward?
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, I think it's really important that we do a little bit of– or that I do a little bit of– professional development, personal growth reading, all that kind of stuff.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I typically have either a couple of podcasts on the go, or I've got a couple of books on the go, and things that I can draw from that are going to make me a more emotionally intelligent person or, you know, more efficient with my time or maybe it's something, you know, in my own industry where it's, you know, information.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I like to kind of spend the first part of my morning just getting set up, getting my mindset clear, seeing if I have, you know, found any new nuggets in the things that I'm reading or listening to and then get into the day, right?
• 35:21
  UNKNOWN: Yeah.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: Our son comes home from school at about 3.30, and then our daughter comes home from out of school care about 5, and we're either doing dinner or activities, and that kind of shuts down the day when we get back from those activities.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: But I think the morning part is probably where I put the most focus on just to make sure that I know exactly where I need to be and what exactly needs to be done and what can I afford to let slide that day.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: Right, because we all have those, right?
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: We have to have the most important, least important, and then the in-between and the stuff that you can delegate to someone else.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: For sure, exactly.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_01: I have one more question.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's not even really a question, but I want you to finish the statement.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: If I said to you or when I say to you, if I wait to be ready, what am I ready for now?
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know what you think about that comment.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: Can you repeat it one more time?
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: If I wait to be ready, what am I ready for now?
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you wait to be ready, what are you waiting for now?
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: Or what are you ready for now?
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're ready for comfort.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: How I would finish that.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: If you wait to be ready, what are you ready for now?
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: You're ready for comfort.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: and you're ready for safe.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: Safety, right?
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: And where we're comfortable, where we don't have to feel vulnerable and where we don't have to feel challenged and when we don't have to feel uncomfortable.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so what do you think about that?
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think I would need?
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: If I said that to you, what do you think I need to do?
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: To get out of your comfort zone?
• 37:19
  UNKNOWN: Mm-hmm.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I know everyone is different.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: Our comfort zones are all different.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: But if someone were to say that to you, what is the advice you would give them?
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think when we're approached with the concept of comfort and safety, we have to really ask ourselves, is this where we really want to be?
• 37:43
  UNKNOWN: Yeah.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: because I think there's a lot of us that want to kind of get out of our comfort zone because there's something that we're unhappy with or there's something that we wish we could change.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think asking someone, What is it that you would like to change now?
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: Or what is it that you'd like to get better with now?
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: Or what is it that you'd like to challenge yourself with now?
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then go back and say, okay, what's the next tiny step that you have to take?
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: And just come back to that first little step.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_01: If there's something you want to do differently or if there's somewhere you want to go for yourself or change for yourself, okay, great.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: What is the first thing, big or small, that you can do that you actually feel ready for and take that step?
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: That was basically a summary of what you've told us today.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: I truly, truly love that.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for being here.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: Now, your Instagram handle or link will be in the show notes, but do you have Facebook or any other social media where someone could reach you?
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I am on Facebook.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_01: Instagram and Facebook are kind of my two big ones.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: LinkedIn I'm also on.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_01: So you can find me on any of those platforms if you want to reach out or chat more about stepping into your power and taking next steps for confidence or whatever.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I'm not on them super frequently, but I do check the DMs pretty regularly.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for joining me today.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: This was great.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_01: I love anyone who has figured out how to step into their power on their own.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: I know that you're reading personal development books and all that stuff, but you're not promoting any one style.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: You've done it all on your own, and I think that's just amazing.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for joining me.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: You're welcome.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a pleasure to get back on, and hopefully someone gets some nuggets from this episode.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, they will.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: They will, for sure.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Erin.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: Confidence in Bloom is a celebration of self-love, a confirmation that you're an amazing, desirable, brilliant, gorgeous, talented woman, even though you may not look like a screen star or a supermodel.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_01: The truth is, they don't even look like that.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: We offer unconditional love to our partners, our children, our extended family, even our pets.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's high time we got out of our own way and learned to unconditionally love ourselves.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_01: Chic definitely does come in every shape, so if you want something to believe start with yourself.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to be a guest here on Confidence in Bloom and chat with me, contact me through Instagram at infobloomstyling or by email at tina at infobloomstyling.com or through the Divas That Care website.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: This show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on divasthatcare.com where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.