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Best of The Ben Maller Show · The Ben Maller Show

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  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the best of the Ben Maller
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Show podcast. Be sure to catch us live every weeknight
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  Speaker 1: from 2 to 6 Eastern, 11 p.m. to 3 a.m.
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  Speaker 1: Pacific on Fox Sports Radio. And to find your local
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  Speaker 1: station for the Ben Maller Show at foxsportsradio.com. You can
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  Speaker 1: find it there or stream us live every night on
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  Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app by searching FSR.
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  Speaker 2: This is the best of the Ben Maller Show on
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  Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio.
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  Speaker 1: Our lead this hour from Orchard Park, New York. The
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  Speaker 1: opening night there, those little soft launch games, those little
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  Speaker 1: exhibition matchups and whatnot. But now it's the real deal.
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  Speaker 1: And what they're calling in Buffalo, their pigskin palace. I
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  Speaker 1: don't know about that. $ 2. 1 billion spent on the new
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  Speaker 1: Highmark Stadium with the fun-sized jumbotron, the obstructed view seats,
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  Speaker 1: the upper deck where it was designed for mountain goats.
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  Speaker 1: And the matchup made for the Amazon. You had Al
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  Speaker 1: Michaels and Herbie right there. Josh Allen's Bills hosting Jared
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  Speaker 1: Goff's Lions. Did you watch? Were you engaged in this?
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  Speaker 1: Perhaps not. I don't know what else you were doing.
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  Speaker 1: Josh Allen threw for three touchdowns. He ran for two scores.
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  Speaker 1: I'm told that's good. I'm told that's good. And Buffalo...
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  Speaker 1: Beat the snot out of the Lions 41-31, the final
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  Speaker 1: in a game that was never in doubt for the
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  Speaker 1: Buffalo Bills. No matter how much Al Michaels tried to
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  Speaker 1: convince you, the consumer, his old school broadcasting pedigree. The
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  Speaker 1: first day of broadcasting Clown College, they teach you to
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  Speaker 1: try to sell whoever's losing because they're so paranoid about
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  Speaker 1: losing the audience. Rather than just be honest and say, boy,
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  Speaker 1: the Lions really blow.
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  Speaker 2: No, no.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, the Lions can get right back in the game. No,
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  Speaker 1: they didn't. They didn't get back in the game. The
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  Speaker 1: Bills kept them at arm's length, so Buffalo gets a
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  Speaker 1: 10-point victory on Thursday night in the first regular season
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  Speaker 1: game at the aforementioned new Stadium there, Highmark Stadium, which
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  Speaker 1: had the same name as the old stadium, but you
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  Speaker 1: get the deal. Anyway, it was Josh Allen's fourth career
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  Speaker 1: five-touchdown outing. He's got nine touchdowns now after a couple
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  Speaker 1: of weeks of football. And that's all good, and that's
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  Speaker 1: all great. You know how we roll in these parts.
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  Speaker 1: The better story is in the losing locker room. Where
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  Speaker 1: have you gone? The bravado, the swag of Dan Campbell's Lions.
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  Speaker 1: Dan Campbell... His postgame gripe. He had many gripes in
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  Speaker 1: the postgame, Dan Campbell, complaining about a number of things.
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  Speaker 1: The big gripe seems to be the lack of discipline
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  Speaker 1: for the Lions. Campbell complaining about that as the penalties
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  Speaker 1: were piling up throughout the night, back-breaking penalties. The Lions
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  Speaker 1: were penalized ten times, several penalties wiping out opportunities to
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  Speaker 1: change the game in favor of the Lions in terms
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  Speaker 1: of field position and whatnot. So that is a good
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  Speaker 1: jumping-off point. Let us discuss the question. Can you explain
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  Speaker 1: what Coach Dan Campbell accomplished in his postgame diatribe calling
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  Speaker 1: out the Lions' discipline on this night? So my thoughts
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  Speaker 1: on this, I've got Orville Redenbacher, vegan cookbook, and booster shot.
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  Speaker 1: And we'll combine all of these things together, and we
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  Speaker 1: will answer the $ 64 question. Not the $ 64, 000 question. Not
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  Speaker 1: the $ 64 million question. The $ 64 question is what we're
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  Speaker 1: going to answer. So, A, Dan Campbell. is up there
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  Speaker 1: at the dais and he's i know what he's trying
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  Speaker 1: to do he's trying to be like hey you know
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  Speaker 1: as long as we just clean this up we're gonna
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  Speaker 1: be fine i'll be the human sponge i'll soak up
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  Speaker 1: all the rage all the outrage and i'll dig a
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  Speaker 1: little deeper and it's gonna be okay you know as
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  Speaker 1: long as we clean this up we'll be fine yeah
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  Speaker 1: so i give the guy a hint he he claims
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  Speaker 1: like he's identified that the lions have a discipline problem
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  Speaker 1: nobody could have guessed that after the penalties it was
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  Speaker 1: a yellow flag party there You've solved the mystery. Now,
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  Speaker 1: spoiler alert, spoiler alert. Dan, as we like to say
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  Speaker 1: in these parts, you're either coaching it or you're allowing
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  Speaker 1: it to happen. And if I'm not mistaken, every single player,
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  Speaker 1: every single player on the Lions roster was handpicked. Handpicked
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  Speaker 1: all the players. And these are the guys they wanted.
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  Speaker 1: And right now, Detroit is at the casino and they're
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  Speaker 1: playing problem roulette. That is where you spin the wheel.
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  Speaker 1: And that roulette wheel goes round and round. And then
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  Speaker 1: you just kind of wait and see what breaks next.
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  Speaker 1: Will it be another penalty? Is it going to be
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  Speaker 1: a turnover? Is it busted assignment, sloppy tackling, hitting the
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  Speaker 1: wrong sound effect, or just pure dumb decisions? There you go.
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  Speaker 1: You were close. Calling it out at the podium. Calling
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  Speaker 1: it out at the podium does not work like Clorox. And,
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  Speaker 1: you know, all those disinfectants, they say, well, it kills
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  Speaker 1: ninety nine point nine percent of bacteria. By the way,
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  Speaker 1: the reason they say that legally, they can't say one
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  Speaker 1: hundred percent legally. They've been sued and they can't say
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  Speaker 1: one hundred percent because if something happens, they'd be liable.
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  Speaker 1: So ninety nine point nine percent is plausible deniability. So
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  Speaker 1: just a fun fact on that. So Dan Campbell, listen,
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  Speaker 1: it's not Clorox. It didn't kill 99% of the problems
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  Speaker 1: and all that because you get up at the podium.
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  Speaker 1: And Campbell, he's not some kind of outside consultant. We
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  Speaker 1: like Dan Campbell. He's generally been good for our purposes
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  Speaker 1: here as a talk show host doing the show overnight.
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  Speaker 1: And he's not brought in as a consultant here outside
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  Speaker 1: to audit the circus. He is literally the ringmaster of
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  Speaker 1: whatever's going on under the big top there outside. in
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  Speaker 1: the Motor City. So if you want to give out
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  Speaker 1: these press conferences and say this, that, and the other
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  Speaker 1: thing's wrong, that's fine. You know, give these press conferences
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  Speaker 1: about the grease fire. You might want to turn off
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  Speaker 1: the stove. You might want to turn off the stove.
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  Speaker 1: And so Dan Campbell should be a brand ambassador, be
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  Speaker 1: a pitch man for Orville Redenbacher. And the reason why
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  Speaker 1: is because the Lions right now, have popcorn problems. Every
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  Speaker 1: few seconds, another kernel explodes. Now, they're 1-1, thanks to
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  Speaker 1: the Saints being unable to get it done in overtime
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  Speaker 1: last week. So they are 1-1. It's not the worst
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  Speaker 1: of the worst here, but you just allowed Buffalo to
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  Speaker 1: have 34 first downs, 446 yards of offense, and convert
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  Speaker 1: on 75% of their third down tries there. So, Good luck.
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  Speaker 1: You might want to fix the popcorn thing and the
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  Speaker 1: roulette wheel and the whole deal. Now, page two. As
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  Speaker 1: the Lions are out there lost in space, Detroit has
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  Speaker 1: played just two games. That is about 12% of the
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  Speaker 1: regular season. That's it, 12%. Two of 17 is about 12%.
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  Speaker 1: I think it's 11.7%. So it's early and all those
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  Speaker 1: good things. And you can say, oh, there's nothing to
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  Speaker 1: worry about here, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But we
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  Speaker 1: have a show to do today. We have to worry
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  Speaker 1: about today's talk show. So the question, is it too
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  Speaker 1: soon to eliminate the Lions from contender status in the
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  Speaker 1: National Football Conference after two games? So as of this moment,
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  Speaker 1: it is absolutely not too soon. They're porked. I don't
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  Speaker 1: care if they're 1-1. The eyeball test, the hearing test
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  Speaker 1: is ugly with a capital U. You cannot take this
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  Speaker 1: team seriously. You can't. Two games in, and the Motor
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  Speaker 1: City assembly line has produced a lemon. You won't get
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  Speaker 1: a lemon. They got a lemon. And unfortunately, I don't
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  Speaker 1: believe there's a recall available. Like, what are you going
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  Speaker 1: to do? You say the offensive line had guys out.
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  Speaker 1: We took the bills, and the main reason we took
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  Speaker 1: the bills is because the offensive line was a problem,
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  Speaker 1: and it took the Lions about half the game to
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  Speaker 1: figure things out. And by then, they were playing catch-up,
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  Speaker 1: and they never did catch-up. They had some mustard and whatnot.
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  Speaker 1: The defense, though, is not too many major injuries where
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  Speaker 1: you say that they can just get some guys back
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  Speaker 1: and they'll be fine. Unless I'm missing something, they got
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  Speaker 1: big-time issues here with who's out there. And it sucks
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  Speaker 1: because Dan Campbell's motivational speeches are freaking great. Eventually, though,
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  Speaker 1: you actually have to tackle someone. That's always the problem.
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  Speaker 1: You have to evolve into tackling people. which sucks. And
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  Speaker 1: the thing about the Lions, the evolution of the Detroit
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  Speaker 1: Lions under Dan Campbell, this team went from biting kneecaps
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  Speaker 1: to currently on defense reading a vegan cookbook. That's what
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  Speaker 1: they're reading. Well, why don't you tackle someone? Well, that's violent.
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  Speaker 1: We don't want to do that. Let's just make some
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  Speaker 1: vegetables taste like meat. That's what we're going to do.
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  Speaker 1: So they've traded that grit that Dan Campbell installed to
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  Speaker 1: whatever that was, what passive surrender by the Lions defense.
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  Speaker 1: And you look at the injuries, penalties, and just overall
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  Speaker 1: defensive incompetence. That is the holy trinity, the holy trinity
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  Speaker 1: of suck that has arrived in Detroit. And normally there's
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  Speaker 1: a couple people that go into the cockpit. The entire
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  Speaker 1: Lions defense is riding the vomit comet. right now. That
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  Speaker 1: is unreal. They're not contenders. They're pretenders. You're not a
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  Speaker 1: contender if you're giving up 36 points a game and
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  Speaker 1: 457 yards per game, which is what the Lions are
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  Speaker 1: doing right now through two weeks. That is pinata status.
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  Speaker 1: Pinata status for the Lions. Now, Dan Campbell, he needs
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  Speaker 1: an intervention. His team does. Because I'm starting to see
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  Speaker 1: some of those same old Lions who are staging a
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  Speaker 1: hostile takeover here. Detroit spent decades, decades in football incarceration,
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  Speaker 1: like they were in football jail. They were only furloughed
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  Speaker 1: on Thanksgiving, on that Thursday Thanksgiving. And in recent years,
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  Speaker 1: they finally tasted freedom. That free at last, free at last.
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  Speaker 1: And now the ankle monitor is starting to beep again.
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  Speaker 1: Just like you can hear it almost. You can almost
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  Speaker 1: hear the beeping. All right, last word to the winning side.
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  Speaker 1: Winning to the winning side. And the question here, the
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  Speaker 1: NFL media, the NFL media elites have dubbed Buffalo's new
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  Speaker 1: stadium as, quote, the house that Josh Allen built. Close quote.
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  Speaker 1: Does that work for you after a five touchdown debut?
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  Speaker 1: So it's cute. You've got to be joking, though. Calling
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  Speaker 1: that the house that Josh Allen built is kind of
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  Speaker 1: like saying that Mickey Mouse personally poured the concrete at
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  Speaker 1: Disney World. It's... Poppycock is what it is. Josh Allen
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  Speaker 1: didn't build the house. He's a very expensive Airbnb attraction
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  Speaker 1: living inside the house. You know who built the house?
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  Speaker 1: The taxpayers. They brought the lumber. They poured the concrete.
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  Speaker 1: They picked up the tab. Even those that don't like
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  Speaker 1: football couldn't tell you the difference between a racquetball and
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  Speaker 1: a football. They still had their tax dollars go to
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  Speaker 1: pay for this monstrosity. That's New York State and Erie
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  Speaker 1: County taxpayers. They're the sugar daddies. They're the ones that
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  Speaker 1: built the stadium. $ 850 million of public taxpayer money. Your
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  Speaker 1: tax dollars at work building a football stadium for the
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  Speaker 1: Buffalo team. Now, regardless, the Bills right now are feeling
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  Speaker 1: pretty good. They got a little swagger. Hey, we're doing
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  Speaker 1: all right. That win over the Lions was a confidence
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  Speaker 1: booster shot. And you look at it two weeks in.
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  Speaker 1: Now you got wins over the Lions and the Texans,
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  Speaker 1: which is really great for self-esteem. Really, really great for self-esteem.
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  Speaker 1: Everything is wonderful in Western New York, provided you don't
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  Speaker 1: look at the fine print. You don't look at the
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  Speaker 1: defensive stat sheet. Because if you look at that, suddenly
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  Speaker 1: things aren't looking so great. Because you weave a web
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  Speaker 1: of lies when you look at that. And while the
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  Speaker 1: Lions are rightfully being crucified for their defensive blunders, since
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  Speaker 1: Buffalo is 2-0, everyone's throwing confetti in the air everywhere.
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  Speaker 1: And while the Bills' offense is fine, and certainly the Lions' offense,
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  Speaker 1: you say, is good enough to win, the defense also
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  Speaker 1: for Buffalo is screaming, check-in-ging, pulling teeth over there, the Lions' defense.
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  Speaker 1: defense like our friend anthony in louisiana had some teeth
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  Speaker 1: pulled thanks to the cologne of victory the body spray
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  Speaker 1: of victory the bills have been given a pardon and
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  Speaker 1: we talked about how bad the lions are in the
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  Speaker 1: lions giving up an average of 36 points and 457
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  Speaker 1: yards a game Well, the Buffalo Bills are not that bad. However,
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  Speaker 1: they're not great. The Bills' defense through two games allowing
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  Speaker 1: 368 yards of offense per game and 31 points per game.
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  Speaker 1: So I've gone into the lab and I've looked at
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  Speaker 1: all the beakers and I've done some weird science and
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  Speaker 1: all that and I've crunched the numbers on this and
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  Speaker 1: I've determined this is going to blow you away here.
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  Speaker 1: Nobody else has this take. That is not a sustainable formula.
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  Speaker 1: It is not. Under scrutiny, that is not a sustainable formula.
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  Speaker 1: I don't care how much you dance around. And it's
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  Speaker 1: similar to the Lions. Like, what are the Bills going
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  Speaker 1: to do? The guys that are out there on defense,
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  Speaker 1: these are the guys. And there'll be some easier games
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  Speaker 1: up ahead, sure. There'll be some games against Tomato Cans.
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  Speaker 1: You get to play two games against the Jets, and
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  Speaker 1: they suck. But they beat the Titans. Well, the Titans
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  Speaker 1: suck more. The Titans suck more. So you look at it,
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  Speaker 1: and you're like, okay, so Buffalo... You know, you say
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  Speaker 1: the war of attrition and all that. They're off to
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  Speaker 1: the 2-0 start. Up ahead, they've got the Chargers and
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  Speaker 1: the Patriots and the Rams. Those are the next three games,
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  Speaker 1: and those teams all have pretty good offenses. So you
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  Speaker 1: figure you have to score a bunch of points and
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  Speaker 1: outscore everybody. At some point, you're going to run into
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  Speaker 1: a good defense, and it's going to be a problem.
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  Speaker 1: So we'll see how this goes.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maler
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific on
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeart Radio app.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: Hey, it's Rob Parker and Kelvin Washington from The Odd
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: Couple on Fox Sports Radio. And in addition to hearing
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: us live weeknights from 7 to 10 p.m. Eastern on
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: Fox Sports Radio, we are excited to announce brand new
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: YouTube channel for the show.
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  Speaker 4: That's right.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: You can now watch The Odd Couple live on YouTube
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  Speaker 1: every day.
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  Speaker 4: All you got to do, search Odd Couple FSR on YouTube. Again, YouTube.
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  Speaker 3: Just search Odd Couple FSR. Check us out on YouTube
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  Speaker 3: and subscribe.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: We head now to La La Land, La La Land
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: lead story this hour from a team reeling. It's all over.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: You've told me it's all over. Well, Devontae Adams is
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: having none of it. The Rams wide receiver who barely
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: did anything in Australia. He must have been allergic to
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: kangaroos and Vegemite. So Devontae Adams is pushing back on
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: the panic button being pressed. After the Rams rode the
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: vomit comet against the 49ers in Australia. So if you
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: didn't hear about this, perhaps not. Devontae Adams warning. Issuing
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: a warning, Devontae Adams, against drawing sweeping conclusions from one
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  Speaker 1: bad game. Dismissing those who are making immediate judgments. Devontae
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  Speaker 1: Adams using the F word. Not that F word. He
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  Speaker 1: used the other F word. He called them fools. Fools.
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  Speaker 1: Those that question the Rams. Adams himself was barely there.
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  Speaker 1: He caught three more passes than you and I combined
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  Speaker 1: for just 26 yards on six targets. All three receptions
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  Speaker 1: coming after halftime. And his message is rather simple. Pump
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  Speaker 1: the brakes. Pump the brakes now. Pump the brakes on
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  Speaker 1: the Rams' funeral procession. So that is a good jumping
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: off point. Let us discuss the question, is Devontae Adams
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  Speaker 1: right that anyone panicking over the Rams after one game
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  Speaker 1: is a, quote, fool, close quote? So my observations, I've
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: got human resources, the Waze app, and termites. Termites. And
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: we'll combine all those together, and we will celebrate the
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: fuddy-duddies is what we're going to do. All right, so
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: number one. Number one. Let me try that again. Number one.
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: Number one.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: It's a little better. So to answer Devontae Adams, I
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  Speaker 1: am giving this the old stink eye. Welcome, Devontae. You've
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: been around a while, but welcome to modern professional sports. Yeah,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: perform poorly. with a lot of hyperbole around your team,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: and then if you don't perform well, well, you come out,
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  Speaker 1: you lecture the customers for noticing that you didn't live
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: up to the advertising? Come on. Now, the Rams look
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: like they flew coach to Australia in the overhead compartment.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: They were running on fumes, and they showed up at
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: the last minute, and they played like they were bedraggled.
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  Speaker 1: And San Francisco took full advantage. They cruised. Through the
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: easy pass lane, they were in good shape. So the
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: question is, was that temporary jet lag the hangover from
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  Speaker 1: a bonehead decision by Sean McVay and the smartest people
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: in the room? The Rams, like all these teams, love
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  Speaker 1: to brag about how they have cracked the code and
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: they hire all the top experts with all the big degrees.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you just have to use common sense, and they
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: don't like to brag about that. We hired somebody that
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: doesn't have all the degrees but knows what he's doing. Okay,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: can't brag about that person. That's no fun. And you wonder,
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: did the 49ers expose some legitimate weaknesses? And we saw
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: that Myles Garrett already quit. He's gone in to have
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: a procedure done. So he's giving up for the next month. Now, look,
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  Speaker 1: nobody's bearing the Rams. Nobody that knows ball is bearing
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: the Rams. However, after that performance... It is absolutely fair game.
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  Speaker 1: We are allowed to check to see if there's a
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: pulse because it did not look like there was a pulse.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: And so welcome to what happens in football life. It's
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: called human resources. They hand out 17 employee performance evaluations
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: during the season. The Rams have had one. One, employee
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: performance evaluation from human resources. And that one, they did
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: terribly on. Now, we certainly believe the Rams will be okay.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: I think it'll be a struggle against the Giants. We'll
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: get to that game later on, on Benny versus the Penny.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: I think it'll be a struggle for them against the
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Giants on Monday night. But you don't get to stink off.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: the joint and have wet farts all over the field
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: and then complain because somebody noticed the smell. Rams went out.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I know they didn't plan on doing this, but they
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: went out there and they served Perina the dog food.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: They did. They served dog food. Now, they did put
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: it on a silver platter. They put it on a
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: silver platter, which is very kind. So they did that,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: and then they insult. Devontae Adams insults the customers for
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: noticing that it was dog food on the silver platter.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: What is that? All right, meanwhile, we go down to Chicago,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: where Yefimi in Chicago is all giddy, all excited there.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: The Bears, greatest offense we've seen ever. Well, The story
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: in Chicago, Bears and Vikings this weekend, and defensive back
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: Jalen Johnson causing a bite-sized hullabaloo as the Bears get
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: ready to take on Minnesota. He had an oddly phrased
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: answer about matching up with Minnesota star wide receiver Justin Jefferson. So,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: you see this? No, you didn't? Okay, good. You didn't
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: see it? Okay, good. So, Johnson was asked whether he enjoys...
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: playing the Vikings and matching up with the great Justin Jefferson.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: He said, quote, this is a quote from Jalen Johnson
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: of the Bears. He said, I don't enjoy going against
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: the best guys in the league. What?
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: Whoa.
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: The comment immediately picked up some steam here, generated a
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: lot of criticism. For obvious reasons, it sounded like Johnson
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: was admitting that He would rather play tomato cans than
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: the top players. So the question, what the hell was
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Bears defensive back Jalen Johnson thinking by saying he doesn't
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: really enjoy playing the NFL's top receivers? So after a
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: minutes-long deliberation of the available information, we have determined, and
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: we're never wrong about this, the smart money says Jalen
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Johnson got the talk from his coach Ben Johnson yesterday.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: Stop feeding the other team, dummy. Stop feeding the Vikings.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Every married guy recognizes that vibe. Every married guy. We're
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: going in. You're going to behave. And you will not
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: embarrass me. You will not embarrass me. And that's the talk.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: And so you got to do it. You got to
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: shut up. Keep your head down. Take a punch to
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: the stomach. And so... Ben Johnson, the coach in Chicago,
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: it would appear that he wanted some diplomacy. And what
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: he got was a public relations fender bender from Jalen Johnson,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: no good deed goes unpunished. So Jalen tried to sanitize
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: the bulletin board material and accidentally became the bulletin board
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: material himself, feeding the entire industrial complex of sports talk
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: into the entire industry instead. So somewhere between I want
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: the best and I don't enjoy the best, management clearly
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: installed a muzzle. And that's just the way it is.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: But you can't advertise yourself as a premier shutdown defensive
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: back and then grab the Waze app and suddenly hit
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: avoid tolls that particular setting for Justin Jefferson. Because a
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: couple years ago, he was the opposite. He was 180
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: degrees the other direction, Jalen Johnson. Remember, we talked about
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: it on the show. I think it was against Devontae
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: Adams and the Packers. And Jalen Johnson was talking the
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: talk and all that. And it's fine. So clearly, somebody, again,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: pulled him aside and said, listen, we don't want you
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: doing that. So he didn't do it. And that's it.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: And it just sounds so bizarre. He went from hunting
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: the biggest game out there in the forest to to
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: asking if there's a petting zoo available. Can I go
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: to the petting zoo? Well, you can't go to the
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: petting zoo. Well, I want to go to the petting zoo. Well, no, no,
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: you said you were big game hunting out in the Serengeti.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: I know I'd like to do that before I go
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: to the Serengeti and go big game hunting, but now
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I want to go to the petting zoo. You can't
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: do that. So it's safe to say the muzzle backfired,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: at least in terms of the conversation around the bears
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: and the Vikings. All right, final point. Final point to
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Houston we go. And yes, Houston, we have a problem
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: yet again. Yet again, yet again, yet again. Texans wide
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: receiver Nico Collins has been diagnosed with a grade one.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: Number one. Number one. He was injured in practice this week.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: And according to, I just looked with our insider Scooby-Doo, what, whoa,
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Collins did not practice, did not practice on Thursday. And
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: as we are doing this in real time, his availability
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: is in doubt for the Texans game this weekend against
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: the Bengals. So the question is this. Here's the question.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: How are things looking for Nico Collins' health? At this
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: moment in Houston. So we've actually seen this movie before.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you watched it. I've watched it
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: pretty much seemingly every year here. The Texans are trying
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: to put on a happy face. Put on a happy face.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: They're doing a little happy dance there. However, seeing is believing. Now,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: a grade one hamstring injury. I went to the Internet
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: because everyone does that. And usually everything on the Internet
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: says you're going to die. You're not going to die
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: from a grade one injury. pulled hammy the hammy went
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: whammy but it didn't go full whammy so if you
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: look at the medical jargon uh grade one they say
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: well that's not that bad just don't make any dinner
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: plans do not make any dinner plans so hamstring injuries
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: are they're unpredictable right you can ice it you can
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: massage it you can wrap it however eventually this is
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: always the debbie downer you're gonna have to go out
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: and run full speed Man, that's a kick to the you-know-what.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: And that's the issue. And so Nico Collins, his entire
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: business model, and I'll have to check with my Texans insider, Mr. Irrigation,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: but I believe the entire business model is acceleration. And
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: so you make this guy who's dependent on his speed here,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: and you make him have to double and triple check everything.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: It's a lousy time for the old accelerator cable to
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: fray a little bit. And besides hamstrings... are the NFL's
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: version of termites. Now, what does that mean? Yeah, the
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: hamstring injury, the slight injury, in this case a hamstring,
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: it's like termites because just when you think you've handled
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: the problem, you've killed the termites, you hear that scratching
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: from inside the walls. Yikes! And at the end of
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: all of this, Nico Collins, if he's running at 80%,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like paying for HBO streaming and you
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: end up with PBS. What are you doing? It's a
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: much different product. It's a much, much different product. And
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: these type of things generally linger. So good luck. Good
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: luck on that. It's going to be week to week.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Is he going to play? Is he not going to play?
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: And the whole thing. The man made of glass. And
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: when you're made of glass, you're often as dependable as ass.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: That's the way it is.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific.
• 27:34
  Speaker 5: Knock, knock. Who's there?
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: Lame Week. Lame Week who?
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: It's Big Ben's Lame Joke of the Week. I can't
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: get over this Herb Street story. He's got a dog
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: food endorsement. That's real. Man. I guess I should take
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Moxie with me. Maybe I'll get a dog sponsor. My
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: dog Moxie, my dog would kick Herb Street's dog's ass.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: All right, let me tell you, right now, that dog
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: has no, Moxie, much better dog.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: Your dog mogs that dog?
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, Coop, please. Out there. All right, here
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: we go. It's Big Ben's lame jokes. Are you there,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Weed Man?
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm here, Ben.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I want to thank Torito for sending me steak and
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: baked potato. Thank you very much. All right. Well, you
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: do beg him for food every week.
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: He is keeping you fed. Look at that.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: He's going to get you fat. You're going to become fat,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Weed Man. He feeds you too much, you know.
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: That'd be great.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: That'd be great. You'd like to be fat? I'll trade
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: with you if you want. All right. Here we go.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: Did you know that Weed Man, this is from Rosie,
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: by the way, our friend Rosie. Did you know that
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Weed Man Hippie was once engaged to a hot hula dancer?
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Wow, really?
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but she called off the wedding because apparently,
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Weed Man, you kept trying to smoke her grass skirt.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: What's up with that, Weed Man? That's a true story.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: These are actual jokes by actual listeners. Thanks to our
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: radio friend, Rosie. You can send these jokes in. Care
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: of BenMallerShow at gmail.com. That's BenMallerShow at gmail.com. Who is
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Weed Man's favorite all-time NFL head coach?
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: Who?
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Bum Phillips. What is Weed Man's favorite football player? Who? No,
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: the play. The play is the Bum Arooski. The Bum
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Arooski is your favorite play. That's Eek. Those jokes from
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: our friend Eek in Roseville, Minnesota. Why did Weed Man
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: love it when he called the, or he became, rather,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: the King of America? Why did Weed Man love that? Why? Well,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: it was great, Weed Man, when everyone called you your highness.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: You got very excited by that. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: It's Mike the Leprechaun. Set that one in. Who is
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Weed Man's favorite caller? Who? No Job Jerome. That's from
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Eric in Kansas. That is both a great reference and
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: a dated reference. We have not heard from No Job
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: Jerome in some time. We think he got a job.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: And we lost him because he went out and got
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: a job. Bad job by him. What else do we have?
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: Let's see. Page down. Can't read that. Did you hear
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: that Weed Man thought he had come up with a
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: plan to comfortably retire by marrying into money? Really? Yeah,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: but apparently it all went up in smoke, Weed Man.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: So I guess it didn't work out. That's a bad
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: job by you. I don't know why that would happen,
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: but apparently it did. It did happen. Alf writes in.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: Alf the alien opiner. And he says, hey, weed man,
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: Bozo the clown. That's it. That's the joke. Bozo the clown.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: You like Bozo the district attorney, right? You're a big
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: fan of his work?
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: I'm a big fan of Bozo the clown.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: We have Bozo, the district attorney, though. He sends you
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: questions every time you do that Ask a Weedman thing. Remember? Yeah,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: he's funny. All right. No, he's not. Did you hear
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: that Weedman, let's see here. Oh, I can't read that.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: I've already done that one. What are two things that
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: you will never see in or around a Chinese restaurant?
• 31:33
  Speaker 5: What?
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: According to John in Youngstown, Ohio, you'll never see stray
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: cats or Weed Man Hippie for that matter. So you
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: will never see that.
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: Not going to happen.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: What are the chances Weed Man will figure out his
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: email account? What? Highly unlikely. Highly unlikely. That's from Mike
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: the Leprechaun. Why does Weedman secretly go to the dentist's
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: office even though he's lost all his teeth?
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: Because they give him laughing gas. That's from Michael in Tulsa. Weedman,
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: you'll laugh at anything, right, Weedman? By the way, our
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: friend Weed Man, his real name is Billy. He lives
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: in Hollywood, Florida. He loves free food. He loves free food.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Everyone loves free food. Are you going to call me
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: through this podcast this week? I just told you, Weed Man,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: we've got other people ahead of you, but I will
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: call you again. You'll be on again. Not this weekend.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Why does Weed Man secretly go to the dentist's office? Oh,
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: I already did that one. Bad job by me. What
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: is Weed Man's favorite animal? What? A camel, because he
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: knows it won't drink as much of his bong water
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: as the other animals. That's Michael in Tulsa. There you go.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: All right. Very nice. This one's from Sarah in the Bay.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: After a massive public outcry from users believing Alexa was
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: listening to everyone, Amazon, they're making changes, Weed Man. Did
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: you hear about that? Really? No, I didn't hear. Yeah,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: according to Sarah, Amazon announced it will be releasing a
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: male version which won't listen to anything said. So there
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: is that. There you go. Very funny, Sarah. How you doing?
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: Did you hear that Marcel in Brooklyn has dipped his
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: balls in glitter?
• 33:28
  Speaker 5: Really?
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty nuts, right? Yeah.
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: There it is. Lame jokes of the week. Thank you,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Weed Man. There he goes. Weed Man hippie.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Pacific.
• 33:44
  Speaker 5: I'm back. And Coop Scoop on Entertainment.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: Hooray for Hollywood starts right now.
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: Here is Justin, a.k.a.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Coopty Loot Cooper, a Bronco fan on X.
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: Take it away. Thank you, Marcel.
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: I feel like these introductions just keep getting better every week. Oh,
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: you really make me smile.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: Including you, Lorena and Ben.
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: Oh, you're too sweet, Marcel.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: He's a modern-day Ryan Seacrest. He really is.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: All right, so as we do every week here on
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: Coop Scoop Entertainment, we're going to start off in the theaters,
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: and there's a couple movies that I want to point
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: out that come out this weekend. The first one is
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: Resident Evil.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: Obviously, this is based on a video game. There's been
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: Resident Evil movies in the past, but they're rebooting it.
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: It's a different story. This one stars Austin Abrams and
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: Zach Cherry.
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: Now, I've never heard of Austin Abrams. Don't know who
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: he is.
• 34:40
  Speaker 5: But Zach Cherry, you may know from the TV show
• 34:43
  Speaker 5: Severance that is very popular. He's the bigger guy. And basically,
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: this story of Resident Evil is a medical courier who
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: unwittingly finds himself in an action-packed nonstop race for survival
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: as one fateful, horrifying night collapses around him in chaos.
• 34:59
  Speaker 5: And it's got great reviews so far from both critics
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: and audiences. So go ahead and check that out. That's
• 35:05
  Speaker 5: in theaters right now. Also in theaters right now is
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: another movie that is getting great reviews from the critics,
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: and it's called The Wait.
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: Now, this one has some.
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: Actors with bigger names that you may have heard before,
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: such as Ethan Hawke and Russell Crowe. And basically, Ethan
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: Hawke's character Samuel is torn from his daughter and sent
• 35:25
  Speaker 5: to a brutal prison where the warden, played by Russell Crowe,
• 35:28
  Speaker 5: offers a high-stake proposition. Smuggle gold out of a remote
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: mine with a dangerous crew of prisoners and he'll win
• 35:34
  Speaker 5: his freedom.
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: And obviously.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: Why don't they ever go to a country club prison
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: where everyone's golfing and playing softball? They always go to
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: a really dangerous.
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: terrible prison yeah it makes for a grittier more action
• 35:48
  Speaker 5: packed suspense thriller so yeah those are the two movies
• 35:51
  Speaker 5: out in theaters this weekend that I wanted to point
• 35:53
  Speaker 5: out then we move over to television here and we
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: have the next installment from Ryan Murphy in his monster
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: series now these are the anthology series about infamous serial
• 36:04
  Speaker 5: killers or killers I guess just in general.
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: This season is monster the Lizzie Borden.
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: Story yes as you know she was Accused but later
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: acquitted of murdering her father and stepmother with.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: An axe in 1892. That's not very nice. No, not
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: at all.
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: This one's kind of got middling reviews from critics, but
• 36:26
  Speaker 5: I think if you're a fan of Ryan Murphy and
• 36:28
  Speaker 5: his stuff, you're going to like it all. So that
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: is available on Netflix right now. And moving on, we
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: have a... I don't know if it's a documentary, kind
• 36:40
  Speaker 5: of a talk thing. It's on HBO tonight at 8 p.m.
• 36:45
  Speaker 5: or available to stream on HBO Max. It's called Jay-Z
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: and Eight. So the famed producer Rick Rubin sat down
• 36:51
  Speaker 5: with Paul McCartney a while ago and did this series
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: of illuminating nerdy music discussions. And now he's doing it
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: with Jay-Z. So that is a limited series. The first
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: two episodes will stream live. tonight and then they'll be
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: Friday every Friday through October 9th.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: Good for him he's got a friend at HBO who
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: paid him money to do something that you know he
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: probably was gonna do anyway just he's friends with.
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: All those guys so yes yeah exactly a couple more
• 37:22
  Speaker 5: things real quick we have a new series called brothers
• 37:25
  Speaker 5: on Apple TV Wednesday September 23rd the stars Matthew McConaughey
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson who a few years ago
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: found out that they might be half brothers and And so, uh,
• 37:37
  Speaker 5: this series kind of plays on that and then it
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: gets into a little fictionalized territory as the pair's friendship
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: is tested while they live together at, uh, Matthew McConaughey's
• 37:47
  Speaker 5: Austin ranch.
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: And, uh, Woody Harrelson.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Woody Harrelson's dad, he got around. Did he? The ladies.
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, yes, yes. That's how they found out.
• 37:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: The ladies liked him, and he liked the ladies.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: So, yeah, that is on Wednesday on Apple TV. And
• 38:06
  Speaker 5: last but not least, I wanted to point this out
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: just because it's kind of weird. There's a new reality
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: competition show on Netflix that same night, Wednesday. It's called
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: Wonka's The Golden Ticket. And the series is narrated by
• 38:18
  Speaker 5: a recreation of Gene Wilder's voice. That's weird.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: Eventually, there will be no new entertainment.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: It'll just be dead people. It'll be AI. And that's
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: where we're headed.
• 38:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, kind of creepy. We'll see how that works out.
• 38:35
  Speaker 5: That's on Netflix. Wonka's the golden ticket. And that is
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: Coop Scoop Entertainment.