Latest / Two Broke Chicks / 25+ Life Lessons From 2025 (PART 2)

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25+ Life Lessons From 2025 (PART 2) · Two Broke Chicks

0:00
Speaker 1: Hey chicks. Before we jump into the episode, we want
0:02
Speaker 1: to start by sending all of our love to the
0:05
Speaker 1: victims of the terrorist attack in Bondai on Sunday, the
0:08
Speaker 1: fourteenth of December. We are so heartbroken by this absolute
0:13
Speaker 1: tragedy that words just aren't enough. We send all of
0:18
Speaker 1: our love to the victims, their friends and family, the
0:21
Speaker 1: Jewish community, and anyone affected by this tragedy. We paused
0:27
Speaker 1: our content and podcasts for the last week as we
0:30
Speaker 1: wanted to give space and show respect. These episodes were
0:33
Speaker 1: also pre recorded on Friday, the twelfth of December before
0:37
Speaker 1: the attack, and therefore don't acknowledge the many lessons about
0:41
Speaker 1: the importance of kindness, love and unity that we've been
0:45
Speaker 1: reminded of now more than ever. Our hearts are still
0:48
Speaker 1: feeling very heavy, and we know a lot of you
0:51
Speaker 1: chicks love these end of year episodes and use them
0:54
Speaker 1: as an opportunity to reflect, pick up a life lesson,
0:58
Speaker 1: and some giggles. So we hope this episode feels like
1:02
Speaker 1: a little bit of a reprieve and a cuddle from
1:04
Speaker 1: us to you. If you're looking for ways to show
1:07
Speaker 1: your support and help victims of the Bondie attack, We've
1:10
Speaker 1: shared some resources in the show notes, and if you're
1:13
Speaker 1: feeling overwhelmed, we have also shared some free resources for
1:17
Speaker 1: help there too. We're sending all of you chicks so
1:20
Speaker 1: much love. All right, let's get into the episode. This
1:24
Speaker 1: podcast is recorded on gadigle Land Always was, always will
1:28
Speaker 1: be Aboriginal Land. Welcome back to two broad chicks. I'm
1:38
Speaker 1: Out and I'm Sam, And this is part two of
1:41
Speaker 1: our twenty five lessons from twenty twenty five. We realized
1:45
Speaker 1: we were yapping too long and we needed to break
1:47
Speaker 1: this up into two parts, so welcome to part two.
1:50
Speaker 1: We're just gonna jump straight back into it. One of
1:53
Speaker 1: my favorite life lessons that comes from a lot of
1:56
Speaker 1: memories this year is that in your out of friendships,
2:01
Speaker 1: sleepovers are a must. Because when I think about some
2:06
Speaker 1: of my favorite memories with friends this year, all of
2:11
Speaker 1: them are from sleepovers. Yeah, so like one going on
2:16
Speaker 1: tour with like gem Who's from like the Psychology of
2:19
Speaker 1: your twenties, and like there is an intimacy and openness
2:25
Speaker 1: in friendships that happens when you know you're having a
2:29
Speaker 1: sleepover that happens at like eight thirty to like ten pm,
2:33
Speaker 1: where you just get giggly and silly and fun and
2:38
Speaker 1: we just had so much fun having sleepovers at Like
2:41
Speaker 1: there was that with jem when we went to Melbourne
2:44
Speaker 1: with Maddie and the house was conmpletely haunted and like
2:50
Speaker 1: Maddie was in this room with like a flickering lamp
2:52
Speaker 1: the whole time she was about to enter the upside down. Yeah,
2:55
Speaker 1: and there was this like random chair in the corner
2:56
Speaker 1: of the room that we kept calling the cup chair.
2:58
Speaker 1: That city ghost was sitting in the ghost cutch. It
3:02
Speaker 1: was amazing. And then like last night when we were
3:06
Speaker 1: just being fucking idiots trying to set up friends miss
3:09
Speaker 1: and it's just like that's when I think you sometimes
3:12
Speaker 1: have some of the most like silly, vulnerable and pure
3:15
Speaker 1: moments that we've like been talking to people in the
3:18
Speaker 1: past and like say how we have sleepovers all the time,
3:21
Speaker 1: and they're like, what, you guys still have sleepovers?
3:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, And we're like you don't, Like, yeah, there's just
3:28
Speaker 2: the beauty to sleepovers with friends at whatever age it is,
3:31
Speaker 2: but especially as you get older, Like when you sleepover,
3:34
Speaker 2: I'm like.
3:34
Speaker 1: Rob on the couch, I'll go waybait. We're like childlike whimsy. Yeah,
3:41
Speaker 1: And it's just so much fun, and so it's a
3:43
Speaker 1: quick one. But I'm like more of that, No, I
3:45
Speaker 1: like that, more of that in twenty twenty six for sure.
3:47
Speaker 1: A practical one.
3:49
Speaker 3: When you're buying printer ink, always buy a backup because
3:54
Speaker 3: every time you need printer ink or every time you
3:57
Speaker 3: got to use your printer, you run out. Like whenever
3:59
Speaker 3: you're printing something that's important, that's when your print ink
4:03
Speaker 3: runs out.
4:04
Speaker 1: And it's one of those things that I'm like, why
4:06
Speaker 1: don't I just buy doubles every time that I buy it,
4:08
Speaker 1: because like it's not going to expire by the time
4:11
Speaker 1: I need to use it. And it's always one of
4:14
Speaker 1: those things that you're like that paper like safety py,
4:18
Speaker 1: printers suck print, Yeah, printers never. Why can we send
4:22
Speaker 1: somebody to the moon and we can't have a printer
4:24
Speaker 1: that just prints? Doesn't work? Printers and fucking maps in
4:29
Speaker 1: a tunnel, yeah, yeah, I don't get that. Yeah, we
4:33
Speaker 1: can literally like cure diseases, but I can't get Google
4:41
Speaker 1: Maps in a tunnel. Yeah, it can't tell me what
4:43
Speaker 1: exit to take. I'm confused. That's when I start crying,
4:47
Speaker 1: which is a completely valid reaction, and I won't hear
4:50
Speaker 1: any other opinion about it. No, I agree, it's scary
4:53
Speaker 1: in there. So I saw this on Instagram and it's
4:58
Speaker 1: that doctors say people should not be on the toilet
5:01
Speaker 1: for longer than ten minutes. Every boyfriend just went, I know,
5:05
Speaker 1: I know. So doctors warn that spending excessive time on
5:09
Speaker 1: the toilet, often due to phone news, can harm your health,
5:13
Speaker 1: such as like bowel movements, hemorrhoids. Yeah, how long do
5:18
Speaker 1: you reckon? What average? Do you reckon? You spend over
5:23
Speaker 1: or under under? Yes? Same, I'm in and out of there, Like,
5:27
Speaker 1: I feel like I could definitely get down a rabbit
5:29
Speaker 1: hole if I'm like on my phone, I'm like shit
5:34
Speaker 1: as the days go by. Yeah, I'm like, do you reckon?
5:39
Speaker 1: You could go to the bathroom the a phone? Yeah,
5:42
Speaker 1: sometimes I do. That's terrifying. Just at home, I feel
5:46
Speaker 1: like I couldn't do that.
5:47
Speaker 2: Work.
5:48
Speaker 1: Need to get my brick so I can. Yeah, so
5:50
Speaker 1: you can brick, so I can brick? Will you brick? Well, brick?
5:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, brick squeid the majority of the time, like ninety
5:57
Speaker 3: I feel like.
5:58
Speaker 1: Most women would be under ten minutes. I feel like
6:00
Speaker 1: most men would be over ten minutes.
6:02
Speaker 3: Definitely, you're always fucking around in there and in the.
6:06
Speaker 1: Shame fucking clash royale or chess, or watching YouTube or
6:11
Speaker 1: reading some fucking obscure Reddit thread. Yeah, so you can
6:15
Speaker 1: share that with your boyfriends and.
6:16
Speaker 3: If it was also you, jiggies pop off off the Dunny,
6:21
Speaker 3: Off the Dunny. This life lesson was inspired by a
6:24
Speaker 3: trend that's probably still happening on TikTok. But it's my
6:28
Speaker 3: private Instagram story versus my public Instagram story trend, which
6:32
Speaker 3: is fucking hilarious and I love it and it's so relatable.
6:36
Speaker 3: I think the crux behind it is that it reaffirms
6:38
Speaker 3: that social media isn't real and that what we put
6:42
Speaker 3: out to the majority of people, like in our public forums,
6:45
Speaker 3: is like the polished version and like the best pick
6:48
Speaker 3: with the best lighting. And then it is like funny
6:50
Speaker 3: that we have like a private story that you can post,
6:53
Speaker 3: you know, the silly, unhinged shit to your friends. It's
6:56
Speaker 3: a good reminder that social media is fake and it's
7:00
Speaker 3: so easy to compare yourself to what is out there.
7:03
Speaker 3: But just think about what you would put on your
7:05
Speaker 3: private story versus what you put on your public and
7:07
Speaker 3: that if you are comparing your life to somebody else,
7:10
Speaker 3: you know, Yeah, it's the best version of themselves.
7:13
Speaker 1: And a lot of the time you're getting like the
7:15
Speaker 1: end of the funnel. Right. So it's like, let's say
7:19
Speaker 1: you see someone from high school like by a house,
7:22
Speaker 1: and you're like, I have a thousand dollars in savings. Yeah,
7:25
Speaker 1: Like you don't really get the journey with a lot
7:27
Speaker 1: of those things either, like you just see the end result,
7:30
Speaker 1: like you probably didn't see them like you know, crying
7:33
Speaker 1: over an expensive energy bill, or like not going to
7:38
Speaker 1: a couple of their friends like events because they couldn't
7:41
Speaker 1: afford a twenty five dollars cocktail, which don't get me
7:44
Speaker 1: started on that, which is half cordial anyway. Yeah, literally
7:47
Speaker 1: and ice and do you know what I will get
7:50
Speaker 1: star I'm kidding. I think as well. From knowing so
7:53
Speaker 1: many people within this industry, it's like it's so crazy
7:56
Speaker 1: how much you don't know. I feel like that kind
7:59
Speaker 1: of brings it back to that whole thing of like
8:00
Speaker 1: the race doesn't exist, like this make belief thing of
8:05
Speaker 1: like other people's success when they post their accomplishments, that's okay, yeah,
8:11
Speaker 1: like that's good for them, but don't compare your journeys
8:14
Speaker 1: because you didn't see theirs. Yeah, so it's like maybe
8:18
Speaker 1: you did, maybe it's your best bucking friend, yeah, and
8:21
Speaker 1: then you probably have and so you're not comparing it.
8:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you know, hardships exactly, road humps that they
8:27
Speaker 3: had to overcome exactly. That actually reminds me of another
8:30
Speaker 3: life lesson that somebody one of the chicks sent in
8:34
Speaker 3: to our Instagram story months ago and it was don't
8:37
Speaker 3: compare your mixtape to somebody's greatest hits, which I was just.
8:43
Speaker 1: Like, oh my god.
8:46
Speaker 3: Because you're at completely different stages of your journey to
8:50
Speaker 3: somebody else.
8:51
Speaker 1: And yeah, again, I think all.
8:54
Speaker 3: Of these things relate to each other, but I was like,
8:57
Speaker 3: that one really rocked my world.
8:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, some spicy one. Ooh. This one was like a
9:01
Speaker 1: discussion between Rob and I that we were like, okay,
9:05
Speaker 1: we're going to stop doing this, stop using Uber eats.
9:08
Speaker 1: The only reason I would use Uber eats or like
9:11
Speaker 1: Uber is they do that Red Cross initiative, which we
9:14
Speaker 1: worked with them on, and it was like that you
9:17
Speaker 1: could donate your clothes for free and they would come
9:20
Speaker 1: and pick it up. Outside of that, I'm fucking done.
9:22
Speaker 1: I'm fucking over it. I'm so sick of it. It's
9:25
Speaker 1: so expensive, the service is shit, and I've got facts.
9:30
Speaker 1: I'm here to speak on facts now. With this using
9:33
Speaker 1: uber eats, I think is my worst money habit. I
9:37
Speaker 1: got my up bank result. It's the year my wraps.
9:43
Speaker 1: How many Uber eats orders do you think I made? Maybe, like,
9:49
Speaker 1: was it like three hundred times or something? Three hundred
9:53
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking days. If you ever did multiple and
9:57
Speaker 1: a lot? Yeah, I know, two hundred Okay, no, but
10:03
Speaker 1: thanks for the faith. I made one hundred and twenty
10:08
Speaker 1: one Uber eats orders in twenty twenty five, which makes
10:11
Speaker 1: me want to throw up. That's an Uber eats order
10:14
Speaker 1: every three days. Yeah. Fuck, it's not good. Yeah, that's
10:17
Speaker 1: not good. And so anyway, Rob and I were like,
10:20
Speaker 1: we have to stop ordering Uber eats because Uber eats
10:24
Speaker 1: and grocery delivery apps can be up to thirty nine
10:28
Speaker 1: percent more expensive. I saw that this week too. Yeah.
10:33
Speaker 1: It makes me want to throw up. Yeah, because it's like,
10:36
Speaker 1: obviously there are moments when you couldn't be fucked cooking,
10:40
Speaker 1: or there's a reason why you need to get food delivery,
10:44
Speaker 1: but that stat just shows that you were so much
10:46
Speaker 1: better off going out for dinner, lazy tar and going
10:50
Speaker 1: to the restaurant because we still want to support small
10:53
Speaker 1: businesses and restaurants and absolutely experiment with new places. And
10:57
Speaker 1: so that's what we were saying. So we were like, Okay,
11:00
Speaker 1: you know what, one takeaway night a week, give that
11:04
Speaker 1: to ourselves because I love a takeaway night. I love it. Yeah,
11:08
Speaker 1: but we were like, we just need to go back
11:11
Speaker 1: to the days where you had menus in a draw
11:14
Speaker 1: in the kitchen, you call up and you go drive
11:17
Speaker 1: and pick it up. Yeah, that's what I want to
11:19
Speaker 1: do in twenty twenty six more because one nostalgia slut
11:22
Speaker 1: through it in nostalgia. Put that shit on a T shirt.
11:25
Speaker 1: Slut for nostalgia. There's been some more media around it,
11:29
Speaker 1: but delivery apps are turning a forty dollars meal into
11:32
Speaker 1: a fifty four dollar purchase as Australians pay around thirty
11:37
Speaker 1: six percent more when ordering food through platforms such as
11:41
Speaker 1: like Uber Eats, Door Dash all that vibe, and so
11:45
Speaker 1: while they offer convenience, the convenience is too expensive now,
11:49
Speaker 1: especially when to just have it delivered to you without
11:53
Speaker 1: it going on like the Lord of the Rings journey
11:56
Speaker 1: to get to you is also an extra five dollars
12:00
Speaker 1: and to get like your food warm and whatever.
12:02
Speaker 3: Like you're so much better off just jumping in the
12:05
Speaker 3: car or like calling up somewhere near to and going
12:09
Speaker 3: for a walk up to the shops and getting it, yeah,
12:11
Speaker 3: or going to a restaurant and actually enjoying that experience.
12:14
Speaker 1: I'm not sitting here being like I'm never gonna use
12:17
Speaker 1: it again totally, but I'm like, enough is enough, Alexandra,
12:21
Speaker 1: enough is enough, because it's way too expensive. A thirty
12:25
Speaker 1: six to thirty nine percent markup is wild. That is
12:30
Speaker 1: a lot of money. Half of us didn't even get
12:32
Speaker 1: that discount on like Friday for things will buying. You know,
12:35
Speaker 1: my thing next year is maybe one Uber eats per
12:39
Speaker 1: week and just like organizing myself and buying groceries for
12:41
Speaker 1: the week and like meal prepping if need be. And
12:44
Speaker 1: then also if that's not the option, if I'm so tired,
12:47
Speaker 1: I'm not going to like beat myself up for it.
12:49
Speaker 1: Little ring ding, a little ring ding dang dong, little
12:52
Speaker 1: great place across the road, Jerry, the usual. Please put
12:56
Speaker 1: it on my tail for a little walk, maybe go
12:59
Speaker 1: for a little drive, pick it up home, lovely, Yeah,
13:02
Speaker 1: c bring it back. Yeah, and so that's that's my thing.
13:06
Speaker 1: I like that we can keep each other accountable. Yeah,
13:10
Speaker 1: I need to stop. Yeah, it's my worst money habit. Yeah,
13:15
Speaker 1: me too easily. This next life lesson is probably one
13:18
Speaker 1: of my favorite life lessons of the whole year, and
13:21
Speaker 1: I've spoken about it on the podcast before, but it's
13:25
Speaker 1: the hobby that I've picked up and actually stuck through
13:27
Speaker 1: the whole year, which is junk journaling, which I've spoken
13:29
Speaker 1: about on the pods. I won't go into too much,
13:32
Speaker 1: but it can be hard to find hobbies that you
13:34
Speaker 1: actually really like when you're an adult and to make
13:38
Speaker 1: time for them and actually be consistent and do things
13:41
Speaker 1: that isn't just scrolling on your phone or concentrating on
13:44
Speaker 1: work all the time.
13:46
Speaker 3: So I've created a Dopamine hobby formula that you can
13:50
Speaker 3: follow to find hobbies that you actually enjoy and you'll
13:54
Speaker 3: keep doing. Ooh hit me, okay. Step one, follow your curiosity.
14:01
Speaker 3: Don't overthink it. You don't have to do or start
14:04
Speaker 3: a hobby just because it's trending or cool. Ask yourself,
14:07
Speaker 3: what's something that when people bring it up or you
14:09
Speaker 3: see other people doing it, you're like, I should start
14:12
Speaker 3: doing that or I've always wanted to try that and
14:15
Speaker 3: do that. Step two, choose what feels good, not what
14:19
Speaker 3: looks good.
14:20
Speaker 1: The hobby doesn't have to.
14:21
Speaker 3: Be cool or trendy or even something that you're good at.
14:27
Speaker 1: If you would still do the hobby without sharing it,
14:30
Speaker 1: that's a green flag, which leads me on to Step three.
14:33
Speaker 1: Do it quietly if you want.
14:36
Speaker 3: With a lot of hobbies, I think people feel pressured
14:38
Speaker 3: to create content around it these days and to document
14:43
Speaker 3: it and share it, and that you know, to use
14:46
Speaker 3: that as like a potential, like content opportunity, which of
14:48
Speaker 3: course is amazing, Like, definitely do that if you want to,
14:51
Speaker 3: and that fuels your passion. But also you can try
14:55
Speaker 3: your hobby in silence, like if you want to learn
14:57
Speaker 3: a new language, but you know, you of embarrassed, Like
15:00
Speaker 3: what if I try doing it and I realize I
15:02
Speaker 3: don't like it, or you know, you feel like there
15:04
Speaker 3: might be some pressure there. You don't have to post,
15:07
Speaker 3: you don't have to document, you don't have to tell
15:09
Speaker 3: anyone if you don't want to.
15:11
Speaker 1: There's also the neuroscience behind you know, telling people and
15:17
Speaker 1: getting the reward of them and being like wow, that's amazing,
15:19
Speaker 1: that's so cool. That's so cool that you're doing that.
15:21
Speaker 1: That makes you feel like you've completed the task, so
15:23
Speaker 1: you actually don't stick to it. Yeah, exactly, like saying that, oh, yeah,
15:27
Speaker 1: I'm going to run a marathon, people like what, that's amazing,
15:31
Speaker 1: that's so cool, and you're like, well, now I don't
15:32
Speaker 1: need to run a marathon because everyone just gave me
15:34
Speaker 1: pre Exactly, everybody already thinks it. I'm amazing. Yeah. I
15:37
Speaker 1: think when you remove the audience, your brain can relax
15:40
Speaker 1: a little bit. Step four, habit stack it. This has
15:43
Speaker 1: been definitely the key to me sticking to it. So
15:47
Speaker 1: don't rely on motivation all of the time to pursue
15:51
Speaker 1: your hobbies.
15:52
Speaker 3: So for example, maybe it's in the morning when you're
15:54
Speaker 3: having your coffee, that's when you read ten pages of
15:57
Speaker 3: your book. Or for me, it was like on a
16:00
Speaker 3: Sunday afternoon that's when I would journal, and I would
16:03
Speaker 3: usually do it when I was watching the foot ear
16:05
Speaker 3: because I was already sitting down like doing shit all anyway.
16:09
Speaker 3: So I had that anchor every single week and I
16:12
Speaker 3: knew that that was my time that I would be journaling.
16:15
Speaker 3: Or if it's before bed, that's when you do your
16:18
Speaker 3: wordle or ten minutes, which.
16:21
Speaker 1: I also love and has been a new hobby of
16:23
Speaker 1: mine this year. Wordable for bed h Yeah, you're ten
16:26
Speaker 1: minutes of duo lingo or whatever it is.
16:28
Speaker 3: But start small and have that anchor there, Step five,
16:33
Speaker 3: rotate when you're bored. So I think something that I
16:36
Speaker 3: was seeing a lot of people talking about is like
16:38
Speaker 3: they have a hobby and then they feel like they
16:40
Speaker 3: get a little bit bored of it and then they
16:41
Speaker 3: completely let it go. And somebody said that they always
16:44
Speaker 3: have three different hobbies on the go so that you know,
16:48
Speaker 3: they'll be really into painting for a little while, so
16:50
Speaker 3: they'll do that, and then when they get over that,
16:52
Speaker 3: they're like, Okay, now I'll jump to crochet.
16:55
Speaker 1: And then they'll do that, and then when they kind
16:57
Speaker 1: of are like no, I've had enough of that, they'll
16:59
Speaker 1: move on to reading. Because I know for some people
17:02
Speaker 1: a lot of the time like that is a very
17:03
Speaker 1: legitimate thing. You do get bored and you don't have
17:06
Speaker 1: that same sense of like reward and stimulation. So like
17:10
Speaker 1: allow yourself to have multiple hobbies and to be like, yeah,
17:12
Speaker 1: I'll let that go for a couple of weeks and
17:13
Speaker 1: then I can jump back on when it seems exciting
17:15
Speaker 1: to me. If that is you having multiple hobbies means
17:18
Speaker 1: that you're not going to fall back into the routine
17:21
Speaker 1: where maybe your hobby is scrolling on your phone, which
17:23
Speaker 1: I think for so many of us it is step
17:25
Speaker 1: six give yourself permission to suck, because I think that's
17:30
Speaker 1: the thing with hobbies as well, is a lot of
17:33
Speaker 1: us are like, well, I don't want to start something
17:34
Speaker 1: and then just be bad at it, Like I want
17:36
Speaker 1: to be good at something straight away, that's when I'll
17:38
Speaker 1: get the enjoyment out of it. But you don't actually
17:41
Speaker 1: have to be good at your hobbies, and it could
17:43
Speaker 1: be something that maybe in the beginning you're not the
17:46
Speaker 1: best at it, and obviously practice makes perfect. Yeah, So
17:50
Speaker 1: the formulae is follow your curiosity, choose what feels good,
17:54
Speaker 1: not what looks good, do it quietly if you wantn't
17:58
Speaker 1: have it, stack and anchor it, rotate, and give yourself
18:01
Speaker 1: permission to suck. My next life lesson of twenty twenty
18:06
Speaker 1: five is to know your stress languages, so you know
18:11
Speaker 1: about love languages, but not necessarily about stress languages. And
18:17
Speaker 1: so this was a post that I saw on TikTok
18:19
Speaker 1: and I was like, holy shit, like this makes so
18:22
Speaker 1: much sense because you have like knee jerk reactions when
18:25
Speaker 1: you're stressed, right, yeah, and everyone has different ways that
18:28
Speaker 1: they deal with it. There's a post on this, by
18:30
Speaker 1: the way, it's from Mental Fitness Collective, so we'll make
18:33
Speaker 1: sure we link it in the show notes if you
18:35
Speaker 1: want to save it for later. So the different types
18:37
Speaker 1: of stress languages. Number one fight, so this can be
18:41
Speaker 1: expressed as like you're wrong. It's defensive. It's you know, irritability.
18:46
Speaker 1: It's aggressive, harsh and potentially saying things you regret later.
18:50
Speaker 1: When you're feeling inside this stress response, it's I need
18:54
Speaker 1: this now. It's the urgency. It's that anxiety. What you
18:59
Speaker 1: need in this moment is movement rather than stillness, so
19:05
Speaker 1: using energy rather than just trying to calm down. And
19:09
Speaker 1: you can regulate by punching a pillow, dancing to music,
19:14
Speaker 1: taking a walk, or like five deep belly breaths. The
19:17
Speaker 1: next one is flight. So this is expressed as I
19:21
Speaker 1: can't do this anymore. I've got to get out of here.
19:23
Speaker 1: It's like ghosting, leaving, walking away, worrying about like perfectionism.
19:28
Speaker 1: The feeling inside is I need to get away from this,
19:32
Speaker 1: like I need to just get out. I feel trapped,
19:34
Speaker 1: I feel overwhelmed. I need to escape. So what you
19:37
Speaker 1: need in this moment is to understand that you're not
19:40
Speaker 1: alone in this. You need connection and understanding, whether it's
19:43
Speaker 1: with someone else or another version of yourself, and also
19:47
Speaker 1: movement rather than stillness. Though a good way to regulate
19:51
Speaker 1: is saying positive affirmation, such as I have the tools
19:54
Speaker 1: and the capacity to get through this, and imagine how
19:57
Speaker 1: someone you admire would also manage the c situation, and
20:01
Speaker 1: that could be a better version of yourself as well. So,
20:04
Speaker 1: like you know, if you were dealing with something really
20:07
Speaker 1: stressful and you didn't know how to make a decision,
20:09
Speaker 1: you had like two choices and you're like, I don't
20:11
Speaker 1: know what to pick. I don't know what to do.
20:12
Speaker 1: What would a version of me that was good at
20:14
Speaker 1: making decisions do in this scenario? And you can write
20:17
Speaker 1: a book, you can go into creative writing, and that
20:20
Speaker 1: can get you to the answer. The next one is freeze.
20:23
Speaker 1: So this can be expressed as I don't know and
20:27
Speaker 1: it's lots of emotion, but you don't know how to
20:29
Speaker 1: express it, so you shut down, you numb, and you
20:33
Speaker 1: procrastinate and you're maybe you're scrolling on your phone and
20:36
Speaker 1: it's like just distancing yourself from it, and the feeling
20:40
Speaker 1: inside is like feeling stuck. So it's overwhelmed, it's indecisiveness,
20:45
Speaker 1: it's anxiety, it's zoning out, dread, wanting to give up,
20:49
Speaker 1: and like avoidance. Basically, so what you need in this
20:52
Speaker 1: is like time and space, gentleness, easy movement, connection in
20:58
Speaker 1: tolerable doses, which I think is a very key part
21:00
Speaker 1: to that. And then to regulate this, you narrate what
21:04
Speaker 1: is happening around you, do a grounding exercise to bring
21:06
Speaker 1: awareness to your senses, shake or stretch your body, or
21:09
Speaker 1: give or receive a long hug. A let's love a hug.
21:13
Speaker 1: I love a good hug. Hold me okay, fawn, which
21:17
Speaker 1: I hadn't thought of this. Have you heard of this?
21:19
Speaker 1: I've heard of this one. This is expressed as yes,
21:22
Speaker 1: you're right, I'm sorry, I'll do what you say, which
21:25
Speaker 1: I was like wow. And so this is a people
21:28
Speaker 1: pleases stress response, and it's neglecting your own feelings to
21:32
Speaker 1: appease others, to avoid conflict, no boundaries, and overly apologetic.
21:37
Speaker 1: The feelings inside is I don't matter. Yeah, and you're overwhelmed.
21:42
Speaker 1: You lack identity and self critical codependent. What you need
21:46
Speaker 1: in this moment is healthy boundaries, self compassion, and to
21:49
Speaker 1: prioritize your own needs so to regulate. Don't be afraid
21:53
Speaker 1: of emotions such as anger and learn how to express
21:56
Speaker 1: them healthily. A lot of those sound as the anxiety
22:01
Speaker 1: response to danger that comes as like from evolution. Yeah,
22:07
Speaker 1: big old jows, dowling, Yeah, charlesy vibes. But yeah, So
22:11
Speaker 1: it's like those are responses that we learn through evolution
22:15
Speaker 1: to immediate danger of like there's a line in the room,
22:19
Speaker 1: and like that's what our body would do, whereas now
22:22
Speaker 1: we have a disregulated nervous system just due to how
22:27
Speaker 1: long do you have? Right? Yeah? And I think understanding
22:31
Speaker 1: what your stress language is allows you that ability to
22:34
Speaker 1: zone out and be like, Okay, my knee is doing
22:36
Speaker 1: the jerk reaction of being like this is what's happening? Yeah,
22:39
Speaker 1: And knowing that's your stress language also allows you to
22:43
Speaker 1: know what your need is and regulation is in those moments,
22:47
Speaker 1: whether it's punching a pillow, whether it's getting a long
22:49
Speaker 1: hug from a friend. And I just had never heard
22:51
Speaker 1: of those and I feel like I dip into like
22:54
Speaker 1: all four of those. Yeah, you know, like it's not
22:57
Speaker 1: going to be the same one every single time. Maybe
22:58
Speaker 1: it depends on the person that you're with. Maybe it's
23:01
Speaker 1: a mother in law, whether it's your boss, whether it's
23:04
Speaker 1: a friend. Like that, stress language and response may be
23:07
Speaker 1: different depending to the scenario, but equipping yourself with the
23:10
Speaker 1: information allows you the emotional intelligence to know what to
23:14
Speaker 1: do in the situation. So I was like, love that. Yeah,
23:18
Speaker 1: I feel like that's something that my therapist was like
23:21
Speaker 1: talking me through last year with it is that Obviously
23:24
Speaker 1: the brain, like all of these things, the kind of
23:26
Speaker 1: like learn behaviors as well. So the more you do it,
23:28
Speaker 1: the quicker like you'll respond like that.
23:32
Speaker 3: And she was like, so, it's really hard because when
23:34
Speaker 3: you're hyper stressed too, your nervous system is like disregulated,
23:39
Speaker 3: and you know you're prone to stress.
23:41
Speaker 1: That's your automatic response. So knowing what those things are,
23:45
Speaker 1: then even if you do sort of like respond and
23:48
Speaker 1: you know, say you accidentally bite at somebody or you
23:51
Speaker 1: feel yourself shutting down, you can at least recognize this
23:54
Speaker 1: is an anxiety response or a stress response and be
23:56
Speaker 1: like I'm sorry. I'm stressed, or do you mind if
24:00
Speaker 1: I go take a walk around the block for a yeah,
24:03
Speaker 1: or go make a cup of tea, like you can
24:05
Speaker 1: take yeah, yeah, like you can take more responsibility even
24:08
Speaker 1: if you do fall into those things as well. Yeah,
24:11
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen.
24:12
Speaker 3: This is a life lesson that I saw from a
24:14
Speaker 3: creator called Lily Eve on TikTok, a pretty name, I know,
24:19
Speaker 3: and it had millions of likes, so it obviously resonated
24:24
Speaker 3: with a lot of people. And she said, people talk
24:27
Speaker 3: about you because they lost the privilege to talk to you.
24:31
Speaker 1: I know. That's good. Yeah, part of that I felt
24:35
Speaker 1: a bit sad.
24:36
Speaker 3: Also then I felt vindicated, you know, also like kind
24:41
Speaker 3: of a bit smug, Like there's a few different ways
24:44
Speaker 3: I think you can take on that piece of information,
24:46
Speaker 3: but it's always just the reminder that what people are
24:49
Speaker 3: saying about you is a reflection of themselves.
24:52
Speaker 1: Really. I love that I've got another quick life lesson
24:57
Speaker 1: and it is to get a shower lamp. So I
25:04
Speaker 1: spoke about this in our Sleep episode about like our
25:07
Speaker 1: nighttime non negotiables, but I wanted to kind of have
25:11
Speaker 1: an update on it, you know, the post pr Hall
25:13
Speaker 1: because that was like early days of when I bought it.
25:17
Speaker 1: It is one of the best things I've bought. I
25:19
Speaker 1: probably should have put it in the episode last week
25:21
Speaker 1: of Best and Worst Investments, but I didn't want to
25:24
Speaker 1: not include it in my twenty twenty five recap because
25:28
Speaker 1: it is easily one of the best integrations into my routine,
25:32
Speaker 1: into my nighttime ever. And it's basically a waterproof lamp
25:38
Speaker 1: that you can put in your shower or in your bathroom,
25:41
Speaker 1: and it's just so much better than the big light.
25:44
Speaker 1: It's so much more relaxing. It really makes me feel
25:47
Speaker 1: like I'm winding down. It really romanticizes like your evening shower,
25:53
Speaker 1: and I just love it. I just got mine on
25:56
Speaker 1: Amazon for like thirty bucks, and they're so good. I
26:00
Speaker 1: love it. How bright does it light up the bathroom?
26:03
Speaker 1: Like I can see everything? Okay, it's as if you
26:06
Speaker 1: know what It's as if you had like lots and
26:08
Speaker 1: lots and lots of candles. Okay, it's like that. It's
26:11
Speaker 1: like you can see everything. I can see. Yeah, it's
26:14
Speaker 1: good lighting. I can see all of my shampoos, conditions,
26:16
Speaker 1: body washes. You know, I'm not gonna be using fucking
26:19
Speaker 1: neir hair remover in my as my shampoo, Like, yeah, totally,
26:23
Speaker 1: you can see everything, right, if it's the everything shower,
26:27
Speaker 1: maybe I'll probably use the big light for that, right,
26:28
Speaker 1: because I need to be able to shave and do
26:30
Speaker 1: all that shit. Yeah, but like for an evening shower,
26:33
Speaker 1: that's just get in, wash your face, wash your body,
26:35
Speaker 1: go to bed, love it. It's so good. That is
26:39
Speaker 1: really good because bathroom lighting is often so sterile. I
26:42
Speaker 1: was more asking because I was like, well, I get
26:45
Speaker 1: scared if I'm kind of in the dark. No, no,
26:50
Speaker 1: because I also get scared in the dark. That happened
26:52
Speaker 1: the other day. I finally turned the light off before
26:53
Speaker 1: I open the door. Fight or flight kicked? In Ye,
26:57
Speaker 1: fight or flight kicking. I'm still scared of the dark.
27:00
Speaker 1: I am twenty nine years old and I am still
27:04
Speaker 1: petrified of the dark. We were talking in the office
27:07
Speaker 1: with the team the other day about like what our
27:09
Speaker 1: fears are and ghosts, sharks and the dark. Yeah. Never
27:15
Speaker 1: been good with it and I don't like it. The
27:17
Speaker 1: weird thing is I literally was pouring at the door
27:19
Speaker 1: like a dog. Yeah. Same.
27:21
Speaker 3: Or if like Chris is in the bathroom sometimes I'll
27:23
Speaker 3: be showering and he comes in and he brush his
27:25
Speaker 3: teeth or you know whatever, and.
27:26
Speaker 1: Then he'll flick that. I always like, I'm always so scared.
27:30
Speaker 1: He's like sorry, sorry. And I've always had a really
27:33
Speaker 1: irrational fear about being in the bathroom, specifically in the dark,
27:38
Speaker 1: ever since I was a little kid. I think it's
27:39
Speaker 1: because of bloody Mary.
27:41
Speaker 4: Yeah.
27:41
Speaker 1: Man, it's the mirror three times right now? Do you
27:44
Speaker 1: freak out because there's a bloody mirror. She's gonna come
27:52
Speaker 1: up in the monitor. Imagine if someone and that was
27:56
Speaker 1: like a prank, all I would literally really shit myself
28:03
Speaker 1: if I okay, can I ask does BM? I'm not
28:06
Speaker 1: saying it. Yeah. Does that run out after twenty four hours? Yes?
28:10
Speaker 1: When does it reset? I think so if I say
28:12
Speaker 1: BM tomorrow, oh will she come? No? Does she have
28:16
Speaker 1: a time zone? And you know what another irrational fear
28:21
Speaker 1: I have as well, Sharks in a pool. That is
28:23
Speaker 1: another one. But also looking in a mirror.
28:27
Speaker 3: At twelve o'clock exactly or three o'clock exactly. And I
28:30
Speaker 3: don't know what it is, but like say, I'll get
28:32
Speaker 3: home from a night out or something, and I'll look
28:35
Speaker 3: up at the mirror and then I'll look down and
28:37
Speaker 3: it like ticks over to midnight and I'm like, what
28:39
Speaker 3: the fuck, Like it's like my angel number, bit, my devil,
28:43
Speaker 3: my devil.
28:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.
28:45
Speaker 1: Do you know what my irrational fear with that is
28:47
Speaker 1: is if I'm bending over to put my hair and
28:49
Speaker 1: a hairtowel.
28:52
Speaker 4: And then I'm going to flip back up and there's
28:54
Speaker 4: going to be someone or someone behind me, I'm like, eh, yeah,
28:57
Speaker 4: like if you have a cupboard mirror. Yeah, yeah, irrational, irrational,
29:04
Speaker 4: sweaty bad the like shark and a pool one is
29:13
Speaker 4: so real.
29:14
Speaker 1: Why I'm thirty two? When am I going to get
29:18
Speaker 1: over this? Yeah? I end up feeling a bit sick
29:20
Speaker 1: and I'm like I need yeah, yeah, like it's coming.
29:25
Speaker 1: I need to know if other people still have like
29:27
Speaker 1: irrational fears like that, please comment below what your irrational
29:30
Speaker 1: fear is? Yeah, I need to know.
29:32
Speaker 3: My last life lesson is that even if it doesn't
29:36
Speaker 3: add up now, to trust the process and keep going.
29:40
Speaker 3: And I know that that's really cliche and probably like
29:42
Speaker 3: an earnest way to wrap up the episode, but fuck it,
29:45
Speaker 3: because there have been like some things during the year
29:48
Speaker 3: that I think at the time I was like, why
29:50
Speaker 3: is this happening? Or you know, like that were just
29:53
Speaker 3: so stressful or whatever, and you're like, why is this
29:56
Speaker 3: happening now? Like I wish I could go back in
29:58
Speaker 3: time and like fix this little thing. And you know
30:00
Speaker 3: everybody has these moments in their life.
30:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's so easy with hindsight to look back
30:05
Speaker 1: and be like it's okay, like it's all worked out
30:07
Speaker 1: for the best. You've wanted so many things, or just
30:10
Speaker 1: the timing of things. I think it's you know, it's
30:13
Speaker 1: always really interesting that you're like, wow, if that didn't happen,
30:15
Speaker 1: then it wouldn't have led to X y Z, so
30:18
Speaker 1: like something falling through that you're like, fuck, Like that
30:20
Speaker 1: was a really good opportunity, Like I wish I got
30:22
Speaker 1: that job or whatever it is. But when you look
30:25
Speaker 1: back and you realize, like I wouldn't be where I
30:27
Speaker 1: am without it. I do that all the time. Yeah.
30:32
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, if that didn't happen,
30:34
Speaker 1: then this wouldn't happen. This would have happened. Then I
30:35
Speaker 1: wouldn't be happy with this thing. Yeah. Yeah, Like if
30:38
Speaker 1: I didn't get that job at our old job, none
30:42
Speaker 1: of this would exist. I know, we wouldn't even be here.
30:44
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have like met you, so that two roches
30:48
Speaker 1: wouldn't exist. I wouldn't have met like an ex partner,
30:52
Speaker 1: which then led me to move to a new suburb
30:54
Speaker 1: that then allowed me to make friends and then meet
30:56
Speaker 1: my new partner. It's like the string theory. Yeah yeah, yeah,
30:59
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. And I was talking to Chris about that.
31:01
Speaker 3: I turned down the job at first and was like, Nah,
31:05
Speaker 3: how different my life could have been?
31:07
Speaker 1: Look at us?
31:07
Speaker 3: What that?
31:08
Speaker 1: Nam nam? I feel like. My final life lesson is
31:12
Speaker 1: also along a similar vein. My biggest life lesson of
31:17
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five is to slow down You're doing fine?
31:21
Speaker 1: Hmmm great now cry Yeah, I've had the song stuck
31:25
Speaker 1: in my head slow down, you're doing fine? Well, got
31:32
Speaker 1: a way to listen back to that. To really communicate this,
31:35
Speaker 1: I wanted to share a neuroscientist ten signs you're doing
31:39
Speaker 1: better than you think in life because you're probably doing
31:42
Speaker 1: better than you're giving yourself credit for. So Number one,
31:47
Speaker 1: you celebrate small wins. Number two, you try again after failing.
31:53
Speaker 1: So many of us go ooh that's not for me.
31:55
Speaker 1: I'm not good at it. I'm not going to do
31:57
Speaker 1: it anymore. Everyone that's good at something was bad at
32:01
Speaker 1: it first yeap. Number three, you pause before reacting. Four
32:07
Speaker 1: you take breaks without guilt. So you take a rest.
32:10
Speaker 1: You go, Okay, do you want I need to sleep
32:12
Speaker 1: in on Saturday or I'm just gonna watch TV tonight.
32:16
Speaker 1: I don't need to go to the gym. Four times
32:17
Speaker 1: a week you take a break. Five You recover from
32:21
Speaker 1: setbacks faster than what you previously did, which I think
32:25
Speaker 1: is a lot people don't realize that they do that,
32:27
Speaker 1: and that they learn that is that you know one
32:29
Speaker 1: shit thing happening, remember maybe the last time that happened,
32:33
Speaker 1: and that you probably got over it a bit quicker
32:35
Speaker 1: this time, like you adjusted. Number six, you ask for
32:38
Speaker 1: help when you need it. Number seven you're kind to
32:42
Speaker 1: yourself when you make mistakes. Number eight you notice patterns
32:45
Speaker 1: instead of judging them. Nine you make decisions based on values,
32:50
Speaker 1: not pressure, which I really like that. One and ten
32:55
Speaker 1: you're more curious than anxious about what's next. I feel
32:59
Speaker 1: like that last point is what I want to embody more.
33:03
Speaker 1: There is always going to be an unknown in life.
33:06
Speaker 1: No one knows what's happening next. No one has a
33:09
Speaker 1: crystal ball, No one's a psychic that can be like,
33:11
Speaker 1: I know exactly what's gonna happen next year. Yeah, And
33:14
Speaker 1: it's about remembering that your brain doesn't know the difference
33:17
Speaker 1: between excitement and anxiety, and so embracing curiosity for twenty
33:23
Speaker 1: twenty six is the best way to go into it
33:25
Speaker 1: of being like, I don't know what's gonna happen, but
33:27
Speaker 1: you know what, I've made it through every bad day
33:29
Speaker 1: I've ever had so far because I'm still fucking here,
33:32
Speaker 1: So you're gonna be able to make it through every
33:35
Speaker 1: single other thing. And remembering that eighty five percent of
33:37
Speaker 1: the shit you think is gonna happen never happens. Yeah.
33:40
Speaker 1: I love that stat because guess what great creative writer
33:43
Speaker 1: in here being like and then a blue monkey is
33:45
Speaker 1: gonna come in this You'll all your money, and then
33:47
Speaker 1: the yellow elephant will come and hit it on your head.
33:51
Speaker 1: I guess so, yeah, yellow Elephant's actually a great guy. Well,
33:57
Speaker 1: oh my god, that is That is a rap for
34:02
Speaker 1: our twenty five Lessons of twenty twenty five. Thank you
34:05
Speaker 1: so much for listening to both part one and part two,
34:09
Speaker 1: because it was a big boy and we ended up
34:11
Speaker 1: having to split it into two episodes because we liked yeah,
34:14
Speaker 1: we do. But thank you so much for having us
34:16
Speaker 1: in your ear holes. Not only today, but this entire
34:19
Speaker 1: year has been one of the biggest years for us
34:22
Speaker 1: ever and there's only even more to come. But truly,
34:27
Speaker 1: from the bottom of our hearts, we can't thank you
34:29
Speaker 1: for your support enough. Like it's kind of crazy all
34:33
Speaker 1: the times that I remember, I'm like, oh my god,
34:35
Speaker 1: there's like a million chicks collectively across like all of
34:39
Speaker 1: our platforms, and I'm like, where these two? Yeah you
34:43
Speaker 1: pe okay, all right, you're good. You've me. I liked it.
34:47
Speaker 1: We love your chicks so much, so fucking much. I
34:50
Speaker 1: wish I could like crawl out of your ear hole,
34:52
Speaker 1: out of your ear and like hug you and then
34:54
Speaker 1: go back in. Yeah. Yeah, probably scared a little. People
34:57
Speaker 1: like a little butterfly, like a little eve butt fly.
34:59
Speaker 1: Don't I look those up on YouTube? Chicks expros. My
35:01
Speaker 1: dad had like a weird obsession with videos on once.
35:04
Speaker 1: He was like, girls, come watch the botflies. God, he's
35:09
Speaker 1: just a boy. He is standing in front of a
35:12
Speaker 1: YouTube video of a boffly. We've been talking for two
35:16
Speaker 1: hours straight, Okay, we need some non verbal time. Thank
35:20
Speaker 1: you so much for having us in your ear holes.
35:22
Speaker 1: We love you so much. We'll see you in twenty
35:25
Speaker 1: twenty six. Feather chicks, let's fucking go love it. Merry Christmas,
35:30
Speaker 1: Happy New Year, be safe, be kind, have fun. Let's
35:34
Speaker 1: get a little bit silly. This yea, my lo