Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Dog-gate drama

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Dog-gate drama · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop, stop what you're doing.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous crank call from Darren Wackhead.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Something's ex exclusive to KFM mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: So you and your wife you reach that time where
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: you go, you know, we need a new addition to
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: this family, you know, before we have a baby. Let's
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: see if we can handle a dog. So what do
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: you do. You go down to the animal rescue shelter adopt,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: don't shop, Yeah, and you go and see, oh, look
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: at little puppies, a little puppies, little puppies, and you
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: see a little pitball puppy and you go, that's the
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: one for our family, all right. And then five weeks
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: later you get a call from the alleged owner, which
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: is me. This is all you know, and you think, harsh, oh,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: now you miss with with with the children of the family. Right, well,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: let me tell you this that after this, so I
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: call him after this, he says, let's call my wife
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: and do the same, and let's see how she handles it.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: All right, So you're gonna hear two calls here. Okay,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: all right, let's just dive straight in. Okay, hold on, okay,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: perfect Hello, I'm looking for mister Pisha. You've got my
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: my puppy. What puppy the pitbull? Yes, multi theme. They
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: told me that you collected one of the puppies that
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: they found. Yeah, what is my puppy? So thank you
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: so much. I'm so excited you got it. Excellent.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I can't give it back to you. Yes,
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: he's gone to text team.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Have you even given him a name?
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Yes, his name's Mikey. I've spent more than four grand
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: on that dog, with his inoculations, the special food.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for taking such a good care.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: But I'm not going to give you the puppy. Beck
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: what you I'd rather pay you for him.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: No, it's my dog I got, I got the one.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I got his brother back. I got his brother.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: And now you're gonna have to You're gonna have to
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: come and see me. Eh, I promise she's like part
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: of our family. Can't I rather pay you for him?
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: No?
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: This is my boy.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: No, but I mean we've had him for five weeks,
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: so maybe almost six weeks.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: How much have you been calling him markey?
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: How long?
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: From the day that he that I collected him, part
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: of our family. SEPs in my room every night.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Put in the bed. Yes, that's wrong. And you call
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: him Marky? What kind of dog are you raising?
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: What do you mean? What kind of dog am I laving?
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Put him in the bed? You call him Marky not
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: there's not a tough name for a pitball. For goodness sake,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: they listen, buddy, I promise you with his.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Kennel that I've bought him and all the special food
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: that he has been on. I mean he's been on
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: Yu Canuba. I've said, taken him all his inoculations. She's
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: cut me in excess.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Of four grand Okay, what time can I come pick
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: him up to? No?
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, But do you understand what I'm saying.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: I took the dog in Okay, understanding your dog? You
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: need to prove to me number one, that is your dog.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, just hold on. Okay, boy, okay, listen. Daddy's trying
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: to get your brother back. I'm really trying to get
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: your brother bag boy.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no, I can't do that. But
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: if we if we were not attached to the dog,
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: he would not be sleeping in our base. The only
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: time he stays outside is during the day when we
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: at work. And he's not just a dog, it's part
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: of our family. Listens, my fee in the story.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Please.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: My dog back?
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: What's that?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Please?
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: I need my dog back?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: What's so funny? Really?
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: When you call me back and childman, and after your.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Sorry, hold on, hold on, look, I don't know what
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: you find so funny. You find it funny that you've
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: stolen my dog? Okay, listen, you're holding my dog hostage.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: I'm having your dog.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Hen. Hello, it's Peter here. I must just tell you
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: it's actually kid Simpson, your canal. It's work Simpson here. Buddy,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: you really got me. I don't know why he found
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: it so funny that I was in such turmoil.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I also did it.
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: I was like, is that yeah?
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: But I think at some point like you were a
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: joke to him, and this situation was ridiculous.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Intense situations.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: He laughs, and he was like, actually, no, I'm not
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: going to meet this with any kind of seriousness.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so he's okay, let's do it on my wife. Okay.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Also, was that a dog barking was like a human barking?
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: No, there's a dog sound effect YouTube?
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: No, No, that was a human imitating a dog.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: I would have laughed to all right, let's call the
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: wife okay, Yeah, we go.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Hell, I've got this guy here in my office and
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: he wants my seat's his dog? No, And he says
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: he has to collect him, and he wants me to
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: leave with him to go and fwitch the dog.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Give me the phone. Hello, ma'am, Hello, I need my
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: dog back.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: But a month later, over a month later, you look
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: for your dog. That's how concerned you are.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Well, the thing is, we went away and then we
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: came back and the puppies were gone.
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: So you just leave your puppies for one, you've abandoned them.
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: We had a whole lot of food there. There was
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: a whole bunch of food that we left, brand.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: New puppies alone, and you go on holiday.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I can report you they're tough dogs.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry. I don't accept that he's.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Given me where the puppies are, so I need to
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: go and collect the puppies.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: Well, I don't think that's going to happen. Can I
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: speak something to help you?
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Hello?
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: No, I told him already, we've spent like four and
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: a half grand on the dog, so you must give
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: us got money back first before we released.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: The No want my dog?
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: What do you want me?
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: To do well, you know what for one? Please report
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: him to the s p c A get his details.
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: Report him because he's abandoned these dogs. He's left him
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: and goes on holiday and leaves food and water and
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: it quicks puppies to survive.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: Give him the dog or not?
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: No, we can't. I'm sorry. I want to speak to him.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I'm going to report you to the police. What are
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: you going to say that you have stolen my dog?
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Exactly right?
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Because you've left them. It's a negligence on your part.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I have not left them, you've stolen them.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: Oh please, really doesn't our work for attorney, so don't
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: boast me. Can I don't speak to you anymore? Can
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: I just speak to canusies? Did he come to your work? No?
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: I came to my work. They gave him my treat.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: I just take some money and give him the dog.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: Maybe give him How can you give him away? I
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: want my dog, you don't need.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: I'm going to talk to him. Okay, let's just call
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: you back.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Hello.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: You're getting me into so much as it's going to
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: be so upset with me tonight, you have no Okay,
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: I'm leaving work now. I'm gonna give these guys to
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: you to take you. I'm just going to give him
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: the dog.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Hello, Love, you speak to him? Hello, Hello?
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: Are you willing to give him to?
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: I am if you just tell me how much you
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: want this dog? Just ask me not.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: I really want him really badly. I love Himbeth.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, well you know it's yours. Thank you, it's it's
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: actually work. It's Simpson here. What oh love?
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: You know Shanky from work and I'm told him I'm
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: not giving him the dog back.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: I can't believe us. I mean tears, love.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: You know, I didn't want to let him for you,
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: but that thought is not of the joke. I'm sorry,
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: my baby, get you.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, my baby,