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Woman Who Killed Netflix’s 'Dirty John' Recounts Gripping Him 'Like a Zombie' · Murder Files Unsealed

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  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Deep Dive. Today, we're going to be
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  looking at a story that I think is as fascinating
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  as it is terrifying.
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  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's.
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  Speaker 1: About love, lawes, and a whole lot of manipulation.
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  Speaker 2: Definitely a wild one. This is a real life thriller, honestly.
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  Speaker 1: Right, this is the story of Dirty John, Yeah, which
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  became I mean a grip the nation obviously, but it
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  became a podcast, documentaries, a Netflix series. We're going to
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  be looking at excerpts, specifically from Tara Nule's account of
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  what it was like to have Dirty John, this con man,
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  enter her family.
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  Speaker 2: See. What's so interesting about Tara's story is that it's
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  not just about being a victim, right, it's also about
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  this incredible strength and resilience in the face of really
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  unimaginable trauma. But before we get ahead of ourselves, we
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  need to start with John Meehan himself. Yeah, Dirty John.
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  What a name?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you kind of wonder how does someone get a
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  name like that? What was it that made him such
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  a master manipulator? How do you draw people? In Debra
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  TERA's mom Well.
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  Speaker 2: John Mehan, now that we look back on it, he's
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  almost a textbook example of a narcissistic predator.
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  Speaker 1: Oh okay.
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  Speaker 2: He targeted women who he perceived as vulnerable, and often
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  he was using online dating sites as his like personal
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  hunting ground. Wow, which is something to keep in mind. Yeah,
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  when we think about online dating today.
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  Speaker 1: It's a good reminder that things aren't always as they seem.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely not, no matter how convincing the profile might be.
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  But Mehan, he was really good at creating these elaborate lies, Okay,
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  to gain trust. He would actually adopt this whole persona
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  of being like this successful, caring professional.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so that was the facade, But then what was
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  the reality?
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  Speaker 2: The reality was much much darker. He actually had a
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  background as an anesthetist nurse, interesting, which I always thought
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  was kind of ironic, how so, because it's almost like
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  he was, you know, numbing his victims to his true nature.
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  Speaker 1: I see what you did.
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  Speaker 2: But here's the kicker. Okay, the guy had a history
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  of preying on women like this wasn't his first rodeo.
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  He even served jail time for violating restraining orders. Oh
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  my gosh, and yet he still managed to convince Dabra
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  Tara's mother that he was someone completely different.
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  Speaker 1: Right, because he told her that he was this doctor
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  with Doctors without borders, Yeah, working in our rock.
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  Speaker 2: And she believed him, she did, which is wild. How
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  can someone like that be so convincing.
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  Speaker 1: That's the thing about these predators. They're incredibly skilled at
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  tapping into people's desires, people's vulnerabilities. He basically created this
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  illusion of being the perfect partner.
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  Speaker 2: Wow.
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  Speaker 1: And then he'd use this tactic called love bombing, so
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  he would shower the person, the victim in this case,
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  with just this excessive amount of attention and affection. It's
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  actually a classic manipulation technique. Really, oh yeah. It's meant
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  to establish a really deep emotional bond very very quickly.
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  Speaker 2: And it worked on Deborah, it did.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. They actually end up getting married very very.
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  Speaker 2: Fast, like a whirlwind romance out of a movie.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, but not the good kind.
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  Speaker 2: No, not the good kind.
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  Speaker 1: They loop to Las Vegas.
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  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, because why not right when you've got
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  a guy that you barely know. And they got married
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  after only a couple of months of dating. Wow, no family,
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  no friends present, just them, just the two of them,
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  big red flag, and for about three months. Dibber describes
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  it as wedded bliss. But Tara, her daughter, she had
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  this feeling that something was off about John from the
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  very very beginning.
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  Speaker 1: Almost like a sixth sense exactly, like when you meet
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  someone that a loved one is with and you just
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  get that gut feeling.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's actually incredibly common, it is, Yeah, for loved
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  ones to pick up on those red flags that the
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  person maybe who's being manipulated is missing.
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  Speaker 1: They have that distance, they have that objective.
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  Speaker 2: Distance, and Tara and her sister, they both rest concerns
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  about John.
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  Speaker 1: Really.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. They even had this really heated confrontation right before
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  Thanksgiving in twenty fourteen when they discovered that John had
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  moved in with their mother.
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  Speaker 1: Oh that's gotta be rough. Not only do you have
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  this bad feeling, but now he's like in the house,
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  right in the house, and then the truth about his
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  past comes out.
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  Speaker 2: It all came crashing down. Yeah, a family member actually
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  did a little bit of digging and uncovered John's criminal history.
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  Speaker 1: Oh wow.
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  Speaker 2: And to her credit, Debra, she initially separated from him
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  when she found out, but.
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  Speaker 1: Then she went back, she did, which unfortunately, we hear
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  about a lot in these types of situations.
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  Speaker 2: You're right, it's incredibly common that push and pull, that
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  back and forth. It's almost like a hallmark of these
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  really manipulative relationships where the manipulator is such an expert
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  at reeling their victim back in how do they do it?
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  They're really good at it. These promises of change, or
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  they'll start crying, giving these tearful apologies.
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  Speaker 1: Right.
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  Speaker 2: It comes this cycle of control that can be incredibly
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  difficult to escape.
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  Speaker 1: Wow.
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  Speaker 2: And as we know, Dabara eventually did leave John for good.
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  That was in March of twenty sixteen. She filed for
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  an annulment. Okay, and that's when things took a very
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  dark turn.
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  Speaker 1: It's almost like that moment that someone realizes they can't
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  have something they want to destroy it.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a pretty chillingly accurate way to put it. Yeah,
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  that's kind of what happened with John. He just he snapped,
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  Oh wow, he started sending Devra all of these threatening messages.
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  He even showed up at her house.
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  Speaker 1: Oh gosh.
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  Speaker 2: Luckily Tara's sister and her friend were there, Okay, and
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  they actually managed to chase him away. Okay, but you know, John,
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  being the predator that he was, Yeah, he wasn't going
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  to give up.
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  Speaker 1: That easily, which leads us to that terrifying encounter at
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  the parking garage. Yes, where everything changed for Tara.
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  Speaker 2: That parking garage. Yeah, it's so eerie how locations can become.
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  These places just etched in our mind because of what
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  happened there. And we can all picture it, right, that
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  parking garage, dimly lit, probably spells like exhaust fumes, right,
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  that's where he found Tara. Yeah, and he grabbed her
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  and asked if she remembered him.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
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  Speaker 2: This wasn't some random app you know, right, this was personal. Yeah,
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  this was calculated.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. I can't even imagine what was going through her
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  mind in that moment to be grabbed like that.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and Tara tried to escape, right, And in the struggle,
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  John dropped the knife that he'd brought with him, And
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  what happened next is it's amazing. Yeah, it really shows
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  how strong terror is. She fought back she did, Yeah,
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  in that moment, I mean, can you imagine the terror she.
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  Speaker 1: Picked up that knife, Oh my gosh.
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  Speaker 2: And fought back with every ounce of strength she had. Wow,
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  she stabbed him thirteen times, Oh my goodness. And she's
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  talked about this since then, that the final stab wounds
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  they were deliberate, aiming for his brain because she knew
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  in that moment that that was the only way to
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  stop him. You know what's even more amazing to me,
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  even right after the attack, like immediately after she was
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  so aware she was injured, she was in shock, but
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  she kept repeating her name and the fact that John
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  was her stepfather who tried to kill her.
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  Speaker 1: That's incredible, Like in that moment to be thinking so
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  clearly incredible. Why was that so important?
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  Speaker 2: Because the neighbors when they responded to all the commotion,
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  they had no idea, right, they just saw this whole.
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  Speaker 1: Scene, right, they didn't know his history.
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  Speaker 2: No, John's past, it was hidden, right. We talked about
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  how good he was it manipulating. So Tara was fighting
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  to survive, yes, but she was also fighting to make
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  sure that everyone knew the truth about what happened.
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  Speaker 1: She was fighting to make sure that her story.
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  Speaker 2: Was heard exactly, and her statements they were so important.
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  It's amazing to me that in those moments she had
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  the clarity to.
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  Speaker 1: Do you that it really is remarkable and her story
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  doesn't end there. And what I think is so inspiring
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  is how she chose to move forward after all of that.
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  Speaker 2: TERA's story is honestly really a testament to how resilient
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  people can be.
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  Speaker 1: It really is.
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  Speaker 2: She has been so open about everything she went through,
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  the trauma, the panic attacks, all of it. And she's
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  still recovering, of course, but you can hear it in
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  her voice. She's determined, you know, she refuses to let
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  this define her.
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  Speaker 1: It's really powerful.
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  Speaker 2: And I think that's a really powerful message. You know,
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  it's a message of hope.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, she said, I have healed so much. She says,
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  people need to know that even though bad things can
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  and do happen, you can't ever let those things hold
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  you back from loving your life.
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  Speaker 2: It's powerful.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And you know, in my work, I see that a
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  lot people who want to take back their stories to
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  reclaim that power. That's such a big part of healing. Yeah,
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  and Tara really embodies that, you know, she does. She's
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  not just surviving, she's thriving. She actually works with other
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  survivors now and family who have been impacted by violence. Wow,
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  she turned her pain into something that helps other people.
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  Speaker 1: It's incredible.
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  Speaker 2: It's incredible, and it's so inspiring.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is. It really is. But we also
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  have to acknowledge that, like it's not always you know,
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  a straight line to get to that point. It's more
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  of a winding road I imagine, absolutely, with the detours, roadblocks.
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  Speaker 2: It's not easy. And you know, trauma can really have
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  a lasting impact and it can be years later. Yeah,
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  and something will happen that brings it all back. Yeah,
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  Terry has talked about this. Yeah, things like even dogs
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  barking really, or certain things that she sees on social media,
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  or even just like TV scenes, they can bring back
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  all of those feelings, the fear and the anxiety, and
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  it's a good reminder.
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  Speaker 1: I think that like healing from trauma takes time, absolutely,
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  and that the effects like they run really deep and
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  they can stay with someone you know, years and years later.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not something you just get over, you know,
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  it's something that it really becomes a part of your
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  story and learning how to I don't know, learning how
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  to manage it, learning how to live with it. I
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  think that's where the healing really begins, and that requires support,
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  of course, understanding the.
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  Speaker 1: Fashion not just from you know, friends and family.
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  Speaker 2: But from everyone honestly.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, from society as a whole.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.
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  Speaker 1: You know, hearing Debra's story, I kind of wonder how
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  someone you know, seemingly so smart, successful, how could she
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  fall prey to this. It could happen to anyone.
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  Speaker 2: At You're absolutely right, And that's what's so important for
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  people to remember about manipulation. I think it can be subtle,
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  especially at the beginning. These manipulators, they're good at what
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  they do. They're good at reading people. They identify your
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  vulnerabilities and then they figure out how to use them
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  against you, and they work really hard to build that
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  trust while they're isolating you from the people who care
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  about you, you know, friends and family who might be
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  able to see what's.
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  Speaker 1: Going on and warn you.
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  Speaker 2: Exactly. So, yes, it really could happen to anyone. It
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  doesn't matter how smart you are or your background. Manipulators
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  are very good at what they do.
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  Speaker 1: So then what are some of those red flags the
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  things that maybe we should be looking out for.
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  Speaker 2: Well, we talked about love bombing, right right, that's a
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  big one. So if someone's giving you way too much attention,
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  like really over the top, really fast.
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  Speaker 1: Way too many gifts, way too many, gets too much
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  too soon, too.
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  Speaker 2: Much, too soon. That's a big red flag.
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  Speaker 1: Okay.
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  Speaker 2: They might also try to like isolate you from your
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  support system, so your friends, your.
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  Speaker 1: Family, you're more reliant on them, exactly. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Another one is gaslighting, ghastly have you heard of that one?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah?
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  Speaker 2: Okay, So they try to make you doubt what you
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  see with your own two eyes, what you know to
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  be true.
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  Speaker 1: They make you question your own sandars.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, they make you feel crazy.
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  Speaker 1: It's like they're trying to control your reality.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. Wow, And that's what makes it so dangerous.
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  Speaker 1: It's scary.
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  Speaker 2: It is scary, you know.
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  Speaker 1: For me, what really struck me about terror story, Yeah,
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  is how she took this awful, horrific thing that happened
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  and turned it into something good. Right, She's helping other people,
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  she's talking about it, she's raising awareness, she's using.
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  Speaker 2: Her platform to help other people, exactly.
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  Speaker 1: And that takes a lot of.
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  Speaker 2: Courage, a lot of courage, a lot of strength, it does.
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  Speaker 1: So I think that's something that I'm really taking away
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  from our deep dive today and that even in those
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  really dark moments, like there's always hope.
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  Speaker 2: There is there's always hope, there's healing.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you. So much for doing this deep dive
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  with us today. Of course it's been I mean an
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  emotional roller coaster for sure, but so insightful.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you, PU Pleasure. Honestly, I think these stories as
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  tough as they can be to hear, they're so important.
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  Speaker 1: To talk about, ye, to bring this stuff to light.
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  Speaker 2: They remind us that you know, human nature is complicated, yes,
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  and that we need to support each other. Yeah, absolutely,
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  to be there for each other, be.
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  Speaker 1: Kind, be kind, look out for one another.
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  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: And for you, oh listening. We hope that this deep
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  dive has given you something to think about. Maybe it's
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  something that you can talk about with someone you care about.
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe this has encouraged you to trust your gut a
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  little bit more. Yes, but remember awareness is key. We
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  all have a part to play. We do, and supporting
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  survivors and preventing these horrible things from happening.
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  Speaker 2: We can all make a difference.
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  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay curious and stay informed, and
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  Speaker 2: We'll see you on the next deep dive.