Latest / The Bubble Lounge (Highland Park & University Park Texas) / Finding Comfort After Losing a Child with Marissa Mullens

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Finding Comfort After Losing a Child with Marissa Mullens · The Bubble Lounge (Highland Park & University Park Texas)

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I want to share an experience we had with SA Oral Surgeons because it made such a difference for us.
• 0:05
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• 0:46
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• 0:54
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• 1:00
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• 1:05
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• 1:07
  Speaker 1: It made all the difference for us.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bubble Lounge.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I'm Martha Jackson.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: As you know, our community is very much in a season of heartbreak.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: This week, several funerals have or are taking place for the precious girls we've lost, and I know many of you are feeling heavy, uncertain and asking how we begin to move forward.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is a continuation of the conversation we started last week with Chris Grotta, one meant to offer comfort and connection, especially to the families walking through unimaginable grief right now.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Today, my guest is Marissa Mullins, a fellow Highland Park mom who lost her daughter, molly, in a tragic car accident a little over a year ago.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Since then, marissa and her family have turned their pain into purpose, starting a foundation in Molly's honor, working to change highway safety laws and openly sharing the story to help others heal.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Marissa is honest, compassionate and full of wisdom that only comes from living through the unthinkable.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Whether you are grieving, supporting someone who is, or simply trying to make sense of what's happening, this conversation is for you, marissa.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being here today.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me, Martha.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: I really appreciate the opportunity to be here and to visit with you.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Absolutely Well.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: I just know that you're going to be able to offer a lot of hope and a lot of information for all of our community in general.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: That because, as you know, everybody is grieving right now.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: You can just feel it everywhere you go in the neighborhood and, of course, we've got the ribbons all over the trees, which always is so special.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I think it's such a great way just to bring everyone together.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: But I wanted to have you here today because you've gone through a very similar situation, and just a little over a year ago, and I just wanted for you to share your story and just the whole journey and everything you and your family's been through.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: So tell us exactly what happened over a year ago.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Oh sure, I imagine that many in our neighborhood are familiar, but for those that are not, our family, like many, we're driving home from Colorado for spring break.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: We do the drive in.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: One day we were about two hours away from home.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: My husband was driving and our three children, sean Connor and Molly, and our dog Allie, were in the car, and a driver lost control, crossed over the median and hit our car head on.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: That resulted in the car flipping over, catching in flame, being caught engulfed in flames, and my oldest son, sean, was transported by helicopter to Wichita Falls.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: My daughter Molly, myself, my son Connor and my husband were taken to Vernon Hospital.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, molly did not survive the accident.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: My boys and I were in the ICU for about a month and if you look at that vehicle it doesn't make sense how any of us survived.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: But it's also difficult for me to understand why she did not survive.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: And so when that all happened, you know I think it was our community really again showed the importance of being there, and so people tied pink ribbons on trees.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: They did a vigil in my front yard.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately for me, I was in the hospital, so I didn't get to see all these pink ribbons when they were initially placed on trees.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: But even when I got discharged from the hospital a month later, when I drove in our neighborhood for the first time, going to church and seeing the pink ribbons, it really took my breath away to see so many people love and support our family, especially people that I had never met before, Right right.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Well, your situation was a little bit different, and that you were in the hospital for a whole month.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: What was it like?
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Just all the uncertainty you're fighting with your own injuries.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Everyone in your family had their own unique situations that they were fighting for.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: What was that experience like?
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: You know it's interesting, my husband, mike, and I we had very different experiences in the sense that he remembers the entire accident.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: I don't remember three or four days of my life he had to tell me two or three different times that Molly was gone, because I don't remember being told that.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: It was also difficult for me because I was at Baylor and my boys were in Fort Worth at Children's and so, trying to be there for my boys, I couldn't be, and then Mike had to go back and forth and he was very fortunate.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: Again, this is where I feel like we saw our community step up in that he was not able to drive and people would volunteer shifts to drive him out to Fort Worth so that he could be there for the boys.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: And then we had friends that would just spend the night with him, with the boys in the ICU.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: And then I also had a very, very dear friend of mine who completely took charge.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: My friend Mandy had a schedule so that every night somebody was with me in the hospital and I just.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Again, it was a different experience in the sense that we were all trying to recover from injuries while still grieving the loss of Molly.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: So I feel like it was.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: On one hand there was a lot of distraction because we were all trying to figure out how to physically heal, and then, once we got released from the hospital, then came the part of planning her service, and so it was a little bit different than parents hearing the news of the floods and then going down.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: And then I think I'm not saying one is good or better, but there is something I think when you're you are distracted by other things that that the grief kind of gets pushed to the side.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Sure, so whereas with all these parents that found out about the floods, it, it was immediate.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're just going straight into it, a hundred percent focused on that part.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: When it comes to caring for aging parents, families in the park cities want more than just help.
• 7:26
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• 7:28
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• 7:34
  Speaker 1: He's the CEO of Cambridge Caregivers, and his team is setting a new standard for in-home care in our community.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Thanks, martha.
• 7:42
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• 7:46
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• 8:00
  Speaker 3: We never outsource to contractors.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: That should give families real peace of mind and allows us to offer that concierge service that the people of Highland Park and University Park have come to expect.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I've seen firsthand how much trust and connection matter when it comes to caring for loved ones, and that's what makes Cambridge different.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: They show up on time, treat your parents like their own and communicate every step of the way.
• 8:25
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• 8:28
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• 8:39
  Speaker 1: That's 214-649-9922.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Cambridge Caregivers Exceptional care just around the corner.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Well, let's do talk about the grief journey, because I feel like it's a very, very long road.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: It doesn't come to an end per se.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: It just kind of maybe ebbs and flows and it just looks different on different days.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Talk to us about what you went through.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Sure, I think the biggest thing that I've learned through all of this and again, I'm learning every single day the thing that I've learned is that everybody grieves differently and there's not one right way to grieve.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: You have to, like my husband and I have learned to understand that.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I will talk about Molly all day long, multiple times a day, and he is a little bit more reserved about it.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: It's too raw and too painful for him to talk about things and not to say that one of us loved her more deeply.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: It's just that each person is going to process grief differently, and so I feel like I have learned through all this, and I continue to learn that the thing that has helped me the most is finding other parents who have lost a child Right, because until you experience that loss, there's no words or casserole or flowers that are really going to resonate with you than when someone else can say I know exactly what that feels like that makes total sense.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah Right, because you know somebody who hasn't gone through the same thing.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: There's absolutely nothing that they can do or say, even though they mean.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Well, yes, you just like having that person that you can relate to.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Yes, and you were able to find.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, I probably have met 12 different people.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow would say I probably have met 12 different people and I am so grateful for each one of them because they helped me through some of the hardest of days.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: You know, being able to just have a conversation, whether it's at dinner or on the phone, and just say it's really hard right now, and you know what they're feeling.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: And then for me it's also been very helpful to be able to return that to them.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: You know, when they text me and say it's, you know, the anniversary of my son's death, you know, and to just to honor each one of those children.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: And so for me, with these families that just experienced this devastating loss, I felt a true calling to be want to help whatever way I could.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: So I immediately found the green tablecloth and made sure that our whole block was covered with green ribbons, because, again, I feel like for me, even to this day, if I see a pink ribbon on a tree, it just puts a smile on my face and I think it's just that we need to, whatever way we're capable of doing it, we need to be there for these families, right, right.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Well, I liked what you said.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: It's so important for everyone to know that everyone grieves differently.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: And when you said that you like to talk a little bit more than your husband does, it just kind of made me laugh to myself, because I was at the service for Molly and I remember when you were all were up there, which I just kept thinking to myself there's no way I could be up there right now.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: You wanted to talk and he almost had to pull you away, yeah, and you guys kind of laughed up there, which I thought was really cute.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: But I think it's so important to know that everyone deals with things in a different way, sure.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: Sure, and again, there's not one right or wrong answer, but it's just to just be mindful and just to support.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you don't even have to say anything, you just have to be present for that person.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Right, and that's exactly what Chris Grotta said in last week's episode.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: As you know, none of us have the words, the right words to say.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Just being there, just being present for your friends and your family and the people in your life, just means so much to them, more than trying to, you know, fix their pain.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Sure, and I think that's just a natural human response of I want to fix it, I want to make it all better.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to show up with flowers, I'm going to show up with, you know, food.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do all these things and not to say that that is not appreciated and people don't, you know, need those things.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: But I think again, it's just being able to know that there are no right words, but always honoring that child and honoring that family, and just being there showing up and just sitting there as you cry or as you look through photos or as you talk about your child, having that just fellowship is just so so important.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Well, I also had a friend that lost her son a few years ago and I remember just seeing I was around her quite quite a bit and I just remember seeing the pain in her eyes and just the sadness and I thought to myself how are you ever able to smile again, to laugh again, to enjoy life again after losing your child?
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Because no parent should ever lose their child, For sure, it's a hard thing to explain, because there are days where I feel like I'm not able to smile or to find joy or to experience life like she would want me to.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: But then all of a sudden, something will happen and she'll send me a wink or there'll be like a little sign from her and I'll catch myself in a moment where I'm laughing and smiling and I'm there for her brothers and her dad and my friends and my co-workers.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: And I think to myself every time like I can hold grief and joy simultaneously and she can help me get through those days where I think I couldn't do it before.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: But I think it's just.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: I think it's learning that even though you're able to find joy again, it doesn't mean or diminish the loss that you have.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: You're still always going to carry that pain, you're always going to feel that hole in your heart, but you find a way to let them coexist together, where you can move on with your life without letting go of what you lost.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Well, I have never heard that term.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: I saw a little week, or I got a little week until last week, when a couple of people posted with the beautiful rainbow that was over the park cities.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: A couple of people said they had seen a cardinal and they referred to that as a little wink.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: That's another one.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's so sweet.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: What types of other winks?
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: have you seen.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: So mine initially started out with lots of people still to this day, from all chapters of my life, send me pink sunsets or pink sunrises, and so these little reminders of Molly with the pink.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: They always put a smile on my face.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: And it's just this moment where I think to myself not only is she not forgotten, but everyone is still celebrating her.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: And then, for me personally, Molly had this weird love of this little pink pig stuffed animal that one of her teachers let her get as a prize and she had that actually in the car with her when we had the accident.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: And so now whenever I see a little pig, that's my little wink from her.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: And then she loved to go to Dave and Buster's and play this claw game where it was a guaranteed win with a rubber ducky and it didn't again.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: These are winks that kind of evolve with time for me.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: But I remember thinking, oh my gosh.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: I remember we went home with like 30 ducks because they were guaranteed and they're, you know, still all in her room.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: And so now, whenever I see a car that has those duck, A Jeep.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: A Jeep typically.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's a wink for Molly, oh my gosh.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: And so again, it's like when you see these things and I think you just have to really be open to it.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: And so one of the families that lost their daughter we were talking about her being a rainbow baby and this past weekend I went with my middle son to do cleanup at White Rock Lake and we stopped to get donuts in the morning and there was a donut that had a little rainbow candy on it, and so I sent it to that family and I said I see the link from her, and so I think it's just again, it's just a powerful reminder of how people can be there to hold you up when you think it's impossible to continue forward.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Right, right, I love that.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: That's so great.
• 16:50
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• 16:57
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• 17:01
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• 17:25
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• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Martha from the Bubble Lounge sent you.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Well, we were talking about how there's not really anything that anyone can say to help you through this pain.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: But what did bring you comfort?
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: What did help?
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: I think for me it's still to this day when somebody sends me a message, whether I know the person or not, sharing a memory of Molly, or if they find something that you know has got a little pig on it, or a bracelet or anything.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: It's more of just the thought, not necessarily the material, what they're giving me, but just for me words mean everything, and so when I hear people share stories about Molly and it just brings me so much comfort and it just reminds me that she's not forgotten.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: So I think, again, just trying to honor that child and talk about that child, I think really again, everyone's different but I do think you always want to hear, even if you have a child that's alive.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: I love it when somebody says something about my boys and oh, he was so respectful and he was so nice, like those things just go so far for me, sure, sure that makes sense.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Well, is there anything?
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I know that sometimes people, with their well intentions and trying to say the right thing, often say things that maybe are not the right things.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Is there any advice you can give the community as far as what not to say or do?
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: I think sometimes, like I mentioned, just showing up and not necessarily having to say anything, just being there for that person, goes so much further than trying to grasp and find the words to say.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: So I think for me, when I hear, well, at least you have your two boys and or you need to be there for your boys or you need to be there for your husband and I think that's just difficult to hear because these are known to me I know I'm incredibly fortunate that nothing happened to my boys and nothing happened to myself, that I could be there for them, because it was touch and go for my middle son and, honestly, for all of us.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: But I think, just being careful with the words you say, because, again I think everyone just wants to fix it, they want to make it better and they think, okay, I'm going to say this and then this will help them, and a lot of times it doesn't.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: So I think it's again, it's more meaningful when you can just show up and be there and tell them and don't say, oh well, they're in a better place, because again, you want them here, you want them with you, and so, and not to say like I'm guilty of sometimes saying the wrong thing too.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: I think that, just as human, we're imperfect.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: Right, we want to make everything good for people, but I think, just more than anything, just showing up and telling them how much you love them and talking about the child versus up and telling him how much you love him and talking about the child versus oh, at least you, you know you still have this child or you have, you know your health and you have you know.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: I just think less is probably more.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: That's what I was just about to say.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I think that that is excellent advice and I hope everyone is listening to this.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Well, I know that when something like this first happens, you get kind of bombarded with all sorts of attention, energy and people wanting to help.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: But what can people do, like just going forward?
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: I would think that just maybe later might be a good time to show up as well.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I think so too.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I think for me the hardest part is, after kind of the novelty of what happened, things kind of die down and it goes back to normal life.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: You kind of want to scream at the world like no, no, no, I'm still here, I'm still suffering.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: This is still hard.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: So I think it's just being mindful of and to this day, like even when this tragedy happened with the floods, the number of people from again different parts of my life that reached out to me personally and said I hope you're okay.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking of Molly.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine how this is triggering you, and I didn't think anything of it at the time when the I was more concerned and consumed with are all these girls okay?
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Did they find them?
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: And then I think my husband and I both realized like oh wait, this is taking us right back to our loss, and so I think it's just again trying to be present down the road and just remember that they still want you to talk about their child.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: They still want you to show up six months from now, a year from now, like just being here initially that's great, but you need to be there for them in the future.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Right, that makes perfect sense, because just because you have moved on, because you're not experiencing this Please remember, I have not and I still need your support and I still need you to be there for me.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, and I still need your support and I still need you to be there for me.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, and I still need to talk about this from time to time.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: For sure, yeah, I don't know about you, but when my teenagers started driving, I was a nervous wreck.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: So many things that could go wrong and God forbid, they get into an accident.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Sure, we have car insurance, but for some young drivers, the monthly insurance can be higher than the car payment.
• 22:50
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• 22:55
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• 23:00
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• 23:05
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• 23:11
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• 23:20
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• 23:22
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• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Martha from the Bubble Lounge sent you.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Well, I feel like you guys have done an amazing job of just keeping Molly's memory alive, and you've worked on a lot of different things, and one thing that I was extremely impressed with is you channeled your energy into changing laws for that stretch of highway, because it was extremely dangerous.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Tell us about that whole process.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: So I think when things happen, when accidents happen, you want to get answers of why did this happen.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: And when they did the investigation, they had mentioned to us that this was a known hotspot.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: They had so many accidents, and so we decided that we wanted to channel our energy into making change happen.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: And we're very fortunate to have Morgan Meyer in our neighborhood and he was able to set up a call with TxDOT, and that's where we learned that over a four-year span, there were 78 crossover accidents and seven fatalities at the exact spot where we lost Molly.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: And the state trooper who did our investigation said I just really hope that they read my report and they make a change, because the cable barriers that were placed they were already outdated, but they were also in a ravine, so it was already at a lower point.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: So this car, this minivan that hit us, flew over.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: It didn't even break the barrier barrier, and so we worked very closely with TxDOT and we were shocked.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: But within six months they had put a concrete barrier in the place of these cable barriers and, from what we've been told, there have been no major accidents since that was done, and so for us we feel like this is the way that we can honor Molly and also ensure that nobody else has to experience the loss like we did, and so I think that that helped us both tremendously be able to turn grief into purpose.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: And so once that was done, I had one of the nurses that had taken care of Molly talk about how she calls it the Molly mile whenever she drives to work.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: And another neighbor had mentioned like you could put a sign up like just your own sign, and I don't know how it came to me, but I was like no, no, I want to make this official.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: I want it to actually be designated the Molly Mullins Mile.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: And so Morgan Meyer again stepped up and helped us and he authored a bill.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: And so Mike and I actually went down to Austin to testify in front of the House Transportation Committee, and I was very fortunate to have a whole group of family and then my work family and then friends show up in the Capitol and support us.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: And so it passed there, and then I flew down myself one more time in front of the Senate Transportation Committee and I'm very happy to say that Governor Abbott signed it into law and it'll take effect September 1st.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: And so again I feel like that's our way of channeling all the grief into something positive and a way to continue to honor her, because she should still be celebrated and reminded again that every person on the road is somebody's whole world, absolutely, and to just be, you know, mindful of that.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: So, and yeah, so that's.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: That's one thing that I kind of focused on, and then another was um, molly loved our dog Allie, um, as do all of us in our family, but um, she had a very special connection with her, and so I started about a year ago working with Doodle Rock Rescue and fostering dogs and I'm happy to say I'm on my seventh foster now and it's been another way for me to be able to heal, because, as much as I fall in love and I would probably keep all the dogs, but my husband wouldn't let me I find healing that comes from being able to be a part of their life and then seeing them off to their forever home, and so I it's again.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: It's.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: It's just this way of understanding, like I won't have them forever, just like I wasn't going to have Molly forever.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: At some point, as you know, your children get older and they go off to college and they start their own lives.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: I think this, for me, is being able to heal one dog at a time.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that literally just gave me chills.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: And I just want to tell everyone that she brought a foster dog here to the Bubble Lounge.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: We've never had a dog join us before, but I wouldn't even know that he's down there because he's so chill and so sweet and so quiet, and I didn't know the backstory of why you were fostering the doodle dogs.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Yes, that is.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: That is so wonderful.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: So everyone out there may not be up for starting a foundation or making big changes like this.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: What are some other ways that you could recommend that people can keep their child's name alive and memory alive?
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: I think again, this didn't come immediately to me, as far as the I'm still it's the foundation that I want to set up for Molly.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: It's called the Molly Mullins Project, Love and Release.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: It's still very much in early stages of I haven't even filed paperwork, so it's all in my head, but I would just I would encourage parents who have lost a child to just think of ways that they can honor their child every single day, the things that their child loved, you know, and just being able to to find those winks, those signs from their child and then also just really looking for other parents that have lost a child.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: I think the biggest takeaway that I could give is, until you've lost a child, you're not going to understand what that pain is, and to be able to not only have other people that have lost a child.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: But I think we've been very, very fortunate in that we found therapists for both my husband and I that we see together that and then one that my boys see, and just being able to just talk about how you're feeling and but yeah, you're not going to have it come to you immediately.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: I mean, I was actually very impressed that several in our community have already set up foundations for these children and I was like I'm still kind of behind on that.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: But I think it's just whatever is best for your family and whatever is best for you.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Again, like I mentioned at the beginning of this, everyone grieves differently, Everyone processes grief differently, and so it's just finding what you are comfortable with.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: But it's really important.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: What I would share with people that are trying to be there for these families is just be present.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: You don't have to have the words, you don't have to bring a casserole, Just be there for that family.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Not to say again.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: Sometimes for me, like when I get flowers, it still makes me really happy.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: On the anniversary of Molly's accident, the University Park Elementary School PTA brought me flowers and they're absolutely beautiful and again I'm grateful for them.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: But I think again, it's just understanding that everyone's going to be a little bit different.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for being here today.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: I think you're going to help so many people out there.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: It's so nice to have your voice and just sharing your experience, and I know that these families have a very long road ahead, but it's so important that they know that they're not alone, and I have a feeling you're going to be a big help for a lot of these families.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: I really appreciate it.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: As I mentioned, I feel this tremendous calling, when this happened, to now be there for others, as so many have been there for us and continue to be there for us.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Well, you're doing an amazing job, job, and we can't thank you enough.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you, that's been another episode of the Bubble Lounge.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: I'm Martha Jackson and I'll see you next time.