Latest / Erotic Spirit Podcast / FOREPLAY STARTS WAY BEFORE THE BEDROOM

Transcript

FOREPLAY STARTS WAY BEFORE THE BEDROOM · Erotic Spirit Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Foreplay is again setting the stage.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: So good examples of things that I think people don't think of as foreplay, but I consider foreplay, making sure promises are kept to me and that I am keeping my promises.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: So if I said I would take out the garbage and make sure the dishes were done on, you know, sex night, you know, if I'm wanting to get lucky and that's the plan and it's our night together, I'm gonna make sure that I had the dishes done and the garbage taken out, that I kept my promises.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: Because that's part of setting the stage.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: Please understand we are not therapists, we are simply sharing from our own journey and experience.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Erotic Spirit, where soul, sexuality, and real life meet.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Angela Shelby.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm Jenna Lee.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: And today we are talking about foreplay and that foreplay is foreplay.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if you stick around, we'll give you more info on how you can incorporate foreplay and then lead to just bliss and presence.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: And how easy foreplay really is.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: I think we make it harder than it needs to be sometimes.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, which is why foreplay is foreplay.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: For play.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Break it down, break down the words, baby.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I like it.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: So what is yeah, what it what's your definition of foreplay?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: What do you, how do you feel you want to navigate through?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Foreplay used to stress me out a lot because I had performance anxiety about it.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was something I had to get right.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: And it's as I have grown and changed and learned and myself better.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: Foreplay is setting the stage.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: Foreplay is a way of being, and it is foreplay.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's uh it is a way to connect with life and my partner as opposed to what has to be done to get ready for penetrative sex.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Does that make sense?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because, and I'm all I'm all there with you.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you when you make something an end goal and you're like, I this is it, this is the end goal, penetration, you you just step out of presence.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're not there fully.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're thinking about that end goal instead of the flow of where do we want it to go?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: How do we want to show up?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, how do we want to present and be in this very moment, which may change five minutes from now.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_02: So instead of stressing about where we're going to or where we're trying to get to, instead of stressing about an end goal, it's about being present and playing in the moment.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I think the best foreplay I have ever had is when there is no goal.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: Where you're just enjoying the moment in whatever is being done.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think I think people who are who have partners just be like, set time aside, like, and this is this is it, right?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Just have that, have like right an intention to just play in the bedroom.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: But it also starts before the bedroom.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I wholeheartedly agree with that.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: Wholeheartedly.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, tell it, tell it.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: So whenever uh praying is my go-to, you know, spirit is my go-to.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: So whenever I am troubled by something or looking for answers or solutions, I pray and then I listen.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and I always get love as the answer and being present in some form.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: And being present is an ongoing thing in life.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so when looking at foreplay and being present, it starts outside the bedroom.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_02: It starts before you even get there.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, there's a couple books I've read where foreplay is a way of life, like it's bringing that sexual energy to everything.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's like flirting with life.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: And playing.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Which I like.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but in a more practical sense, in more grounded everyday terms, foreplay is again setting the stage.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: So good examples of things that I think people don't think of as foreplay, but I consider foreplay, making sure promises are kept to me and that I am keeping my promises.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: So if I said I would take out the garbage and make sure the dishes were done on, you know, sex night, you know, if I'm wanting to get lucky and that's the plan and it's our night together, I'm gonna make sure that I had the dishes done and the garbage taken out, that I kept my promises, because that's part of setting the stage.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_02: If my partner comes home and I haven't kept my promises, my responsibilities, they're not gonna be in a good mood to they're not gonna be able to let go and stop thinking.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: They're gonna be thinking about, oh crap, now we have to take care of that, or that sitting there and you promise, it's like it's instant resentment, it's instant going into brain mode.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, make sure the kids are fed and in bed.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: If you want your partner to be more receptive, set the stage.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, take things off their plate so they can relax, keep promises.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I like that.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that I think of too is very similar in different ways, where okay, are there things that are on my mind that I want to communicate?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if so, I know I would be one of the people who'd have a running mindless like in that that sexual experience, and I'd be thinking about something else.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: So if I and I was not good at communicating, this double Gemini was not as you would think.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: It was not my strong suit, and now it is, I just say what it is.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: But right, having a space, not like directly before the bedroom, maybe, maybe if so, if you're if that works for you, then great.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: But having time aside, I would even say like an intentional time once a week where it's like these are the things that are on my mind.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: You can do it as often as you want, but literally having something set aside, pizza, non-confrontational, create your safe space.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And what's what's on your mind?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because in a way, there's other resentments that can build up.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then that flows into the energy.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do we flow into play if we are just in a space of like I'm really pissed off about you, like this thing, and I didn't communicate that, and then that like that flows in the body, right?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And there's opportunities to move that before we get to the bedroom, yeah.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's important, like you said, giving yourself space to do that, yeah, and clear it out.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: I also think it's important though that if you are having this special time with your partner, that is not the time or the place to bring that stuff up.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, that is not playing.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: There will always be life.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: That is just the way it is.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: There's always something to do, there's always responsibilities that need to be taken care of.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's just how it is.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's how we let it run or manage our life.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: And for play, let's again remember the play part.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: That is not the time to bring up your in-laws.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's not the time to bring up the mistake you made yesterday.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's not the time to talk about the power bill.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: It is a free zone.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: It is the time to play.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's the time to let go of all of that, put it on a shelf for a while and just let it go and go be in the body.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Go enjoy the present moment.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and and play.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: And play.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Literally play.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Be.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And just to add on like other layers, right?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: So we got, you know, responsibilities, we got things, all the good stuff.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then we have the play before the bedroom.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you may shoot a spicy text.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm gonna drop in some spicy in your leg right now.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And how are you thinking about that?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because for me, I mean, mental stimulation is like it's beautiful.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: So we you go way before, I'm already thinking about it.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: You go talk at dinner with me about that and all the things, and it's like, okay, we're we're in a restaurant right now.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta behave.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: But it's running that playfulness is already running, or you have just simple, I like to call simple touches throughout the day.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it may not even be feel like it's intimate or sexy or sexual, but for me, touch is really important.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: So being able to just even embrace, you know, even if you're walking by and you're doing laundry, just like embrace the back of like in the back and have that touch go on.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just like the touch of like later.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Think about I may be doing dirty laundry right now, but you know, maybe getting a little dirty later.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: So standing too close while someone's doing the dishes and bumping into them and rubbing up against them.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, you know, patting the ass, you know, on the way out the door, just touching.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: And consciously doing that, I think, especially when there's resentments, anger, problems, cultivating that practice of even though we're having issues, I we give ourselves permission to touch and play beyond that.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: That this practice of touching and flirting and communication.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: I love how you're saying that through touch uh is beyond that and is allowed.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: And cultivating it, cultivating it is a conscious practice.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: So as we're talking about this, Archangel Michael is really present today.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like he he is here.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: I I want to say crashing the party because his energy is so big, and I adore him.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: You can crash my party anytime.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but what he's saying right now is asking ourselves, who do you want to be today?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_02: Again, and he's saying there's always going to be life, there's always going to be something you can be offended by, resentful of, stress about.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: But who do you want to be today?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: All that stuff will always be there.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: Who do we want to be in relation to that?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: I would rather choose to be grateful that I have a partner or grateful that I have the hope or the excitement or the potential of that, and then flirting with my life and living in that playful space of you know what, I'm gonna grab his ass on the way out the door.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: He's really pissed off, and I can tell you right now, he won't expect it, and it's gonna change the way he looks at his day.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's it's bringing that playfulness and not allowing the pressures of life to dim that flirt, flirtatious playfulness.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's it's kind of looking at the stress of the world and saying, fuck you, I'm gonna have a good time anyway.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: I my bills may be overdue, and you know, the government looks like it's running the country into the ground, but I'm gonna grab my baby's ass this morning.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it's living in that presence of that moment.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: That's what's coming through.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes, I love that.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this is so big in shifting energy.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, maybe sometimes there's like a really big stress going on, and then then all these other little stresses just continue to add up, and then before you know it, you add in some fun and you add in some flirt and you add in some spice, and you notice your energy shifting, and then you know notice their energy shifting, and then you before you know it's like, Well, all right, I didn't take the garbage out, you didn't take the garbage out, fuck it, like you know, fine, yeah, fine.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I guess we'll just get to it right now.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes it really helps break up some of the patterns, and what I'm hearing at least is coming in is like this rut.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the someone's in a rut, maybe both in a rut together, and it's perpetuating the cycle.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: So you add in this space, and that creates this dynamic and opportunity to then actually even maybe want to have sex because sometimes it may even be like, I don't even want to get there because of all these things add up.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, and let's have let's shift the energy.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And if you didn't know, like being able to shift energy is like your own mind, right?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you coming from?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on in here?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so you add in that flirt with the world, and you it just happening.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Before you know it, you're like, wow, I feel really good today because there was intention there.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: So this awesome podcast is sponsored by Enlightened Energy Works.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: Would you like to meet your spirit guides or build a deeper connection with them?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: If so, I have an online self-guided course with simple exercises and recommendations to help you build your connection with your spirit guides in your own way and at your own pace.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: If you're interested, please check it out at www.angelashelby.com or click the link in the show notes.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: Intentional playfulness.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: So Archangel Michael is coming in again with a reminder of playfulness allows divine inspiration to come in.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: When we get too serious, we get too focused on an end goal.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: We get too focused on how we think that end goal should happen, which totally does not allow creative inspiration from the universe and the divine to come in and bring solutions.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's like literally turning our internal intuitive hearing off.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: So when we can lighten up and play, it's kind of like blowing off the doors and allowing the light and solutions to come in.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: And speaking of which, we were talking about allowing playfulness to come in and allowing staying present in the moment without an end goal.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: It reminds me of this story that I read.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: I believe it was in Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: Don't quote me on that, but I think that's what it was.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: The story is stuck with me.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: I read it like 20 years ago, but it was about an older couple, and this she's like in her 50s.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: They've been married for like 30 years.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: Husband was getting ready to retire, was still working, and she wanted to do something special.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: She she was never comfortable really being that seductress.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: She was gonna give it a shot.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: So what she did is she started sending her husband anonymous love letters to his office and was like building this up and finally like sent him an address to a hotel and a suite number and said, Meet me at lunchtime.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: And so this guy doesn't know this is his wife.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: And she has bought lingerie that she's never worn before.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: She ordered champagne.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: She said she was so nervous, even though she'd been married to this man for 30 years, so nervous about being that seductress of trying this out with him.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: She had to break into the champagne while she was in the room, just to have the courage to stay in the room and have him come.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: And he knocked on the door and he's like, Margaret, is that you?
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, I hope to God this is my wife.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, you know, honey, is this you?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: And she had put rose petals to the bed.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: And he they had such a good time.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_02: He was so honored that she'd put forth so much effort outside her comfort zone, and it was playing in a new way.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: So when things get stagnant or if things are hard, adding in that playfulness and boldly going where we have never gone before, being willing to try new things, I think that is conscious foreplay.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: I like the words conscious foreplay.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And stepping out of comfort zone and eventually find that the comfort zone or what's in the mind is just kind of holding, can hold us back.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I like this when you share the story, because one of the things that I think of that I've I've done before is take taking more of that like leading role.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: I've done that space and when I'm playing, and it's that such a playful dance because I'll be in such a feminine and I'll just be in that playful area, but then kind of just taking that lead and seeing where that goes and then surprise and drop a mic.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: And before you know, it's like, ah, where did that come from?
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I, you know, I may have been in my head about it, but it was really allowing me to balance both my masculine and feminine energy and play with that in the bedroom, be able to allow my partner at the time to just witness and be seen and just allow whatever wants to come out.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and it doesn't need to be a plus student because it's just fucking having fun.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's just okay.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just here.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: I may have maybe I just fell off the bed or something.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: I won't say if that's happened or not.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Part of the play, right?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh shit, I'm okay.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, just right.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then you just keep you like allow that to be part of it.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's there's no, hey, picture perfect.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is it.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: I drew this out, and this so it shall be.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: It is whatever it needs to be.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And like that's what I see growth with it too.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like growth.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: I love how you said I got the urge to take the lead, because I think as women, that can be hard for us.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: Especially when we have a really intense, passionate man who's really concentrated on the end goal of penetration.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that that's really, I think for men often that is the end goal, penetrative sex.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: That penis wants to go where it wants to go.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: Uh mind of its own.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: But and I love how you said I took the lead and allowed my partner to be seen.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: With that whole foreplay thing, I we talk about it a lot, and with dynamics between men and women, I know not all romantic partners are men and women, but uh, we tend to have different balances of masculine and feminine energy.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: Some people are more masculine regardless of sex, it doesn't matter.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: They have more masculine energy, they can be more intense, more driven.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_02: So, someone who has more feminine energy, who is more reserved or more uh receptive for us to take the lead and pace it to what we need it to be.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like we often think we are taken away from our partners, that we are going to offend our partners or turn them off.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: But when we take the lead like that, not only are we giving gentle, playful instruction of this is what I need, I need you to slow down.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: I, you know, I this is we need to cut the place to this.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: You doing that allowed your partner to be seen, to have a moment to be able to stop and relax back and be seen from your perspective.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there's something about that direct attention.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: I I love how you said that.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's perfect.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: I think I'm hoping it gives uh anyone watching this the courage to stand up and say what you need and know it will be a blessing to your partner, just not information-wise, but it shifts the attention and gives them the opportunity to receive and be seen.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and being that like that own receiving and that own feminine energy, which I feel like just sexual energy is both.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is both, it is just energy, but we balance between those things.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: So they get to be in that playful spot.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: That receiving spot.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's really important to just know that there it doesn't have to be right or wrong way.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's just allowing whatever is to flow and let it be.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: And communication comes in many different ways.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you had talked about a pace.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'll just say foreplay.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: I could do foreplay all day.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like foreplay and that sexual energy and that, you know, we talked about so many times, just this whole body orgasm that is just moving through, through, through, and allowing that to continue to happen, but also just being able to communicate without saying words and with saying words.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can communicate and say, you know, let's slow down.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: But then also by communicating, by taking the lead, right?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: As a as a woman, by being in that space, it's an expression of communication of this is this is the pace that I feel resonates with my body.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: And when you get really in tune with a partner, you can understand what that means without actually saying it.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes you say it because you just get really fucking excited.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: But right, you can just pull, you can be attuned to each other's bodies, and that communication is okay, this is where we're at right now.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: What does that bring in presence that brings in now?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: That brings in wow, okay, this is it, this is it, there's no other it, you know, which is beautiful.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: I love how you said that the being present and communication.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: When I was growing up and, you know, learning about my sexuality, communication was never covered by anybody.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't like covered in uh how dramas played out, you know, in our culture.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't covered by my sex ed teachers, it wasn't covered at all.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_02: And it is setting the stage.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: How do you set the stage for something?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_02: You communicate it.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: You have to communicate.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: That foreplay is communication, and I think how we communicate is what makes it foreplay.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: That flirtatious playfulness.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: And our our body sings so much.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: So we can be communicating stress.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: We can be communicating I'm uncomfortable.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you bring in um these moments of play, right, instead of just kind of getting to it, like, okay, we're just gonna get it done.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: When you bring it in, your your body, you're setting a stage too for your body.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're also communicating with your own body and each other's body that this is a safe space to drop into.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so now, okay, maybe my shoulders were tense, but I, you know, asked for some back rub or some oil on the back, right?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just being in tune with I know it, okay.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: I am stressed, so I need to get into my body more, and this is what works the massage, right?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Get into it.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: And before you know it, you're like, I didn't know what a tense back meant like 10 years ago.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: I have no clue what that means right now because I'm just so loose in my body, and that's part of the foreplay, that you meant, listening to your body, communicating what you need, and then doing your best to drop into that space too as well, letting the flow be the flow and be with the flow around the flow.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: Even if it's uncomfortable, even if the flow is uh, I'm not feeling so hot, you know, my shoulders are too tight, or you know, my vagina's too tight right now because I'm too stressed, or I I need more, I need more of something.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: Even if you can't communicate it what it is, it's saying, I don't know what I need, but I know right now we need to shift what we're doing, or just that communication.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have to be clear and concise or perfect, it's just being willing to open our mouth and say, This is what's going on with me right now, and then going with it.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I love how you are saying staying in the moment and not having an agenda.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Not having an end goal.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: What are some of the things that like you or if you were to suggest anything for like foreplay, anything that you like, or things, things that you can think of that's like, oh, okay, yeah, that's a good thing.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good thing to do.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: Trying new toys.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's fun for play.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: Getting a new toy and trying it out.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: A new sex toy.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it doesn't even have to be a sex toy, an a new rope, a new whatever.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: Playing a new game, um, having scenarios.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: Little kids play make-believe all the time.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Little kids deal with life by play.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care if you're human or any other species of animal, you learn to deal with real life through play.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what happened in the world that we thought letting go of play as a human species, that play is not an adult thing to do.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: Play is how we get through life.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: Play is how inspiration comes in from the divine.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_02: That's how you get answers.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: Is so playing, play make-believe, dress up, play with scenarios, yeah, you know, be the, I don't know, so many things.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: Be the interrogated spy or be the cheerleader being picked up by the football player, or whatever floats your fancy.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, be the dragon and the dragon slayer, you know, and have a sexual game of it.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's whatever you want it to be, but play, literally play and make stuff up.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: I remember I got a ended up making a purchase for a new toy.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember sending spicy text too.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: I was just like, there's a new kind of holy we can experience this evening.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, just drop, dropping, right?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: Not not much more, but also I was so fucking excited.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I can't contain myself.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so, right, like it just, it's just all this fun, like the fun banter, the fun thinking, the fun visualizing.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, like it starts way before, and then you get to experience something new together, too.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I love for me, what's really big for me is touch.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I always go back to what I mean.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: I love I love the body oil.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: I love getting into the body.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that that has been always one that was always disconnected and disassociated.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that really drops me in.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: But it feels like there's just so many, you just there's so many new pieces to discover.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I didn't know that that that was a piece that really, whoa, like I'm that feels really good.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: So being able to get into the body and touch or just even eye gazing, or which eye gazing is you can even practice this too.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's can be really intimate, and you're with that person and you're staring into the eyes.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can put on a timer or a song that plays, and you know, okay, after this is done, maybe you continue, but it drops into just truthfully that present moment that with that partner, and yeah, you can you can start with a slow touch and build, and it's all about tension and building.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, just play with it, right?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_02: If you had one takeaway to give people today, what would it be?
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: It would be that foreplay does not have a map, and it is not this equals this equals that.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: It is always ebbing and flowing, and that's the beauty.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's endless things that one can do, and ultimately when you're when you're really connected to yourself, you can communicate what it is that you need or want or desire.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: So is know that that's always a thing, and then be open to flow and curiosity.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: I like how you're saying that because we are always changing.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: We are, yeah.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_02: When uh when we are when you're saying when you know, XYZ equals this, and this is the end result, and this is how this formula works, it doesn't allow for us to be who we are and to change because we changed instantaneously on a moment to moment basis.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Creation is always creating, so being part of that flow, you learn like that we are creator beings, we are create creation, and this is what we get to create right now in this life.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: I like it.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what about you?
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: My takeaway would be foreplay is foreplay.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that I it think it's a great way to live life, just to flirt and play, and sexual energy is such a part of who I am and such a part of my life, and it affects everything in my life, so consciously making it a part of my life has been very healing for me, and it's a challenge because it makes me let go and look at things in a different way, in a more playful way, and I think that it changes my perception of my reality.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_02: Just that shift in the just that shift in being flirtatious and playful and looking at life as a love affair.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: I love that, and I love how you said conscious we can let the we can be in the passenger seat or driving, and so this is the opportunity to shift things in your life by just bringing in a little intention of it, just a little, all all's being invited is a little intention and being aware.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you for tuning in today to Erotic Spirit Podcast.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed what you like, feel free to share this.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: We're on all the social media platforms and we're live on all the major platforms.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: So come tune in and thank you.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you next time.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is sponsored by My Awakening Within.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking for some sort of practice to drop into your pleasure, to reconnect to your body, to start to build and cultivate safety from within.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: Join me on this online self-guided journey where you will start to learn breathwork techniques, emotional release practices, and start to build this foundation of safety and security from a place of presence.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: So join me online, myAwakeningwithin.com or linked in the show notes.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for hanging with us today.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you find value in this podcast, please like, subscribe, and share.