Latest / Karl and Crew / Restoration Before Remarriage with Gil Stewart & Masculinity Without Virtue Is Not Manhood with Dr. Alex McFarland

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Restoration Before Remarriage with Gil Stewart & Masculinity Without Virtue Is Not Manhood with Dr. Alex McFarland · Karl and Crew

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  S1: Broadcasting from Chicago, across North America and beyond. It's Carl
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  S1: and crew. Come as you are an experienced guide, overcome
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  S1: what seems impossible and live as you never imagined delivering
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  S1: the truth daily.
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  S2: If it were possible to have every worldly gain available.
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  S2: And you're forfeiting your soul. There's no amount of gain
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  S2: that would make it worth it.
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  S3: Our own way never ever works. Because it's apart from
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  S3: the life source, which is God.
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  S4: For me, growing up, love was always conditional and can
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  S4: be taken from you. Christ's love can't. And he went
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  S4: to the cross with my mind and my heart that night.
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  S1: Now from the call of Hope Studios, this is Carl
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  S1: and Crew.
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  S5: On this note of Juneteenth, on behalf of Carl and crew.
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  S5: I just want to say something one more time here.
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  S5: We've been really pouring out our heart here this morning.
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  S5: We honor Juneteenth here with cast and crew celebrating freedom
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  S5: and remembering a significant moment in our nation's history. And
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  S5: we thank God for you, our African American brothers and sisters,
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  S5: for the faith, perseverance impact that you have had on communities,
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  S5: our nation, and the churches across North America and beyond.
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  S5: We're grateful for you as we reflect on this day.
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  S5: May we. May we live as people marked by gratitude, reconciliation, hope,
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  S5: and the love of Christ. We are one big family
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  S5: of God, and it's a joy to have you with
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  S5: us here today.
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  S3: You know, I was thinking about it this morning. I'm
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  S3: really grateful that we celebrate and remember this day because
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  S3: I think of things like the Passover. The Passover was
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  S3: a holiday specific to celebrating how God led the people
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  S3: of Israel out of slavery in Egypt. And it's great
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  S3: to remember those things God was. Don't be mistaken that
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  S3: God was just the same provider of freedom, uh, from for,
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  S3: you know, for slaves here in America as he was
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  S3: for the slaves of Israel in Egypt. Uh, and so I,
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  S3: I'm grateful that God brought the slaves here in the
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  S3: US out of slavery too. Yeah. It's a blessing.
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  S5: Yeah. And the Passover is a freedom for all people. Yes.
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  S5: It's not just a symbol for the nation of Israel.
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  S3: Amen.
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  S5: It is what Jesus came to do and be. He's
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  S5: the Passover lamb. Yes. In fact, let me just do
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  S5: this right now. If you've never been freed by Jesus Christ,
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  S5: I want you to do this right now. Could be
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  S5: that God brought you here for this moment, on this
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  S5: Freedom Friday. But here's the gospel. Here's the gospel. Jesus
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  S5: came to the world because God so loved the world
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  S5: that whoever believes in him will not die, but will
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  S5: have everlasting life. There's no death for those who are
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  S5: in Christ Jesus. Now this is amazing. But this word
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  S5: belief needs to be understood. This is not just a
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  S5: mental nod to Jesus came and he was a good man,
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  S5: and he was even the Savior of the world. You
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  S5: can ascend to all those things, but until you bow
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  S5: your head humbly before God and say, Jesus, I know
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  S5: that you came to save us and you came to
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  S5: save me. I'm a sinner. Recognizing that you're missing the
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  S5: mark is the birthplace of salvation. Recognizing that you need
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  S5: to be saved from you is where life change begins.
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  S5: And God's Spirit brings that to mind. And then repentance
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  S5: is turning around. It's changing your mind, changing your direction,
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  S5: changing everything. I'm not asking you to raise a hand.
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  S5: I'm asking you to follow a new leader. That's the
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  S5: invitation of the gospel, recognizing you're a sinner and following
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  S5: a new leader. And some of you are in a point.
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  S5: Usually pain brings this on where it's like, man, Carl,
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  S5: I'm at the end of myself. Great. Your position for
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  S5: God to give you new life today. And if you've
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  S5: never been born again, today is your day. I'm going
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  S5: to pray for you. And then Jonathan's going to give
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  S5: you a link. Father, I pray that we got we
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  S5: got this moment agreeing with your spirit. We caught a
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  S5: moment where people here are broken at the end of
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  S5: themselves saying, I need a savior. For me, I'm a mess.
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  S5: And today, by your power, they are turning around. They're
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  S5: changing their mind. They're changing their mind about what their
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  S5: real problem is and who's going to heal it. And
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  S5: that's you, Lord. They're changing their mind about what the
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  S5: cure is for their life. And that's the Son of God.
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  S5: And I pray in Jesus name that all of these
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  S5: that are turning to you for the first time today, miraculously,
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  S5: that you would give them great hope and encouragement and
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  S5: that we could help on this path. In Jesus name. Amen.
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  S3: Amen.
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  S5: Okay, we've got a link for you. Jonathan, take it away.
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  S3: Yeah. Just text the word new to 805 557898, if
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  S3: that is you. If you made the commitment to follow
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  S3: Jesus today, to surrender your life to him and and
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  S3: receive eternal life through his sacrifice. Just text new to
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  S3: 805 557898. We've got some great resources there for you. Also,
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  S3: you can get a Bible, uh, from that link there
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  S3: that we send you. If you, if you need one,
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  S3: just text new to 805 557898.
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  S5: Yeah. One word. And, uh, we're so grateful for God
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  S5: catching you in this moment, saying you need to be
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  S5: born again. And he's doing that in you and it's
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  S5: a miracle. Wipe away the tears and text. New to
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  S5: 805 557898. Coming up. Um, boy, Chivalry is challenging enough,
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  S5: and then you find yourself being a stepdad. Hope is
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  S5: on the way.
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  S1: Your shot of hope to get you through the day.
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  S4: You are so, so loved. God does not want you
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  S4: to stay in your past, and I want you to
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  S4: know and believe that today.
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  S1: You're listening to Carl and crew.
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  S5: So in the discussion about chivalry, it's tough enough when
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  S5: you sweep that special girl off her feet and you
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  S5: get married and it's a battle, man. I mean, men
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  S5: are called to be initiators, women or responders, but then
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  S5: you throw in for a lot of you listening this situation,
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  S5: you're remarried and sometimes you're bringing a whole tribe together.
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  S5: How do you handle this? What chivalry look like it's
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  S5: going to be tested more. We know that. And it's
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  S5: great that we've got an expert with us right now.
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  S5: Gill Stewart and his wife, Brenda, certified marriage coaches and
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  S5: presenters of The Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage.
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  S5: I think that's a good idea. There's a lot of
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  S5: great resources in this link that we're going to give you,
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  S5: and I'm going to highlight a few along the way,
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  S5: but let's just get them in here. Jill Stewart, good
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  S5: to have you with us this morning, my man. I
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  S5: want to dive right into this restored and remarriage. I
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  S5: want to focus on this word restored. What in the
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  S5: world does that mean? That must have to do with
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  S5: your story?
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  S6: Absolutely. Restoration. Well, to be remarried, you need to be restored,
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  S6: which has a lot to do with forgiving, sometimes yourself
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  S6: or the circumstance you step into. So that way when
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  S6: you do get remarried, you come with a whole heart,
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  S6: unencumbered so that you can love. Well.
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  S5: Yeah. One of the things that I love to do
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  S5: here with Carl and crew is just hit it really, honestly,
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  S5: as a pastor now for four decades, I have seen
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  S5: a lot of situations where people split the sheets and
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  S5: there were not biblical grounds in some cases, or in
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  S5: other cases, lessons weren't learned about what caused that thing
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  S5: to split the sheets to begin with. That's tough stuff.
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  S5: But you got to cover that turf, don't you, Gil?
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  S6: Yeah, you really do. I mean, there are all instances
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  S6: why marriages break up. You know, divorce is one of
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  S6: them that leads us into a remarriage, but also death.
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  S6: You can enter into remarriage through two doorways, and both
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  S6: of them are painful death or divorce. And so in
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  S6: a lot of ways, how we step into it with
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  S6: as men with an attitude of chivalry. Well, boy, now
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  S6: we're going to test the mettle of who this man
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  S6: really is.
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  S5: Yeah. What are the elements of restoration? What are the checkpoints?
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  S5: Let's just go with the men right now. A man
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  S5: went through a marriage. The marriage, let's say, is over.
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  S5: And I'm not casting blame. But there is an important
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  S5: element of lordship and and purity and holiness. And that
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  S5: the bringing that right heart before God, there has to
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  S5: be a moment of introspection. What are those things that
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  S5: we need to be looking at to go? Have I
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  S5: really plumbed the depths of of what broke back there?
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  S5: Let's just say it is a broken marriage in order
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  S5: to really get restored and have health in my marriage here.
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  S6: Well, I've got to start with myself. I got to
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  S6: take ownership. I got to look over my shoulder and
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  S6: go without regret. Where did I blow it? It starts
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  S6: with repentance, you know. And repentance has a lot to
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  S6: do with if I've repented and have a humble heart
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  S6: and I step into a new marriage, I'm teachable. But
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  S6: I've also done my business with my brokenness so that
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  S6: I don't drag that in with me into a new marriage.
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  S6: If I don't, it's going to influence what I'm going
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  S6: to step into with this new woman that I've brought
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  S6: into my life, especially if I'm going to be a
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  S6: step dad. I didn't just marry this beautiful, lovely woman.
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  S6: If she's got kids, they're part of the package. And
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  S6: if I don't understand myself. Uh, now, now we're going
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  S6: to have problems and we're going to get off onto
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  S6: the wrong foot. So therefore, restoration is so important to
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  S6: get on stable ground to start with.
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  S5: How many of is this probably difficult to pin down?
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  S5: But you and your bride are coaching a lot of marriages. Remarriages.
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  S5: What percentage of people do you talk with that you prescribe? Coach,
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  S5: the wisdom of going back to identify some things before
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  S5: we go forward.
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  S6: When we present, we start with the topic in marriage
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  S6: and family, especially around stepfamily stuff. You know, you talk
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  S6: about communication, conflict and sex and money and all that,
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  S6: but when we started restoring remarried conference, we start with
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  S6: the issue of forgiveness because if forgiveness hasn't taken place,
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  S6: restoration is not complete and you're going to enter in
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  S6: with things that potentially have not been taken before the
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  S6: Lord taken to a place to where there can be
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  S6: healing and Restoration. And so it's kind of like if
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  S6: you don't deal with that issue of forgiveness, the other
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  S6: the circumstance you're, again, you're, you're not fully restored to
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  S6: be able to give your heart wholeheartedly. And Jesus is
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  S6: waiting there to do that. Yes. You have to willingly
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  S6: put yourself in that place, which takes humility and is
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  S6: an act of chivalry.
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  S5: Yeah. And Gil, what's interesting here, I'm not trying to
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  S5: lead the testimony here, but I think you and I
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  S5: are on the same wavelength. I mean, first, John is clear.
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  S5: If you confess your sins, he is faithful and just
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  S5: to forgive us our sins. There has to come to
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  S5: a point, whether it's 1% responsibility, 90% responsibility for things
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  S5: that went south before the freedom comes in agreeing with God.
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  S5: I screwed up here and pinning that down. What do
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  S5: you say, Gil?
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  S6: Yeah, absolutely. Because I know in my own heart, in
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  S6: my first marriage, there was a point where I said, Lord,
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  S6: either judge me now or take me home. I know
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  S6: my heart is right with you, Jesus, but judge me
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  S6: now so that I don't have any self. I know
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  S6: Jesus doesn't condemn me. This is not the unforgivable sin.
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  S6: But I must confess, just like first John's talking about.
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  S6: But if I don't confess, then I'm setting myself up
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  S6: to become not a step father, but a step dude
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  S6: who thinks arrogantly I can just move on into this
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  S6: new relationship and not have dealt with my sin.
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  S5: Okay, that is power.
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  S6: There is a difference between being a step dad and
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  S6: a step dude. A step dad has chivalry. They're going
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  S6: to step into things that are going to be hard,
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  S6: and they're going to do hopefully the right thing. From
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  S6: a spirit of humility, they're going to step into difficult
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  S6: situations and it's going to cost them. But they will
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  S6: because it's basis of restoration. They're going to love, well,
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  S6: a step dude. He's not going to do that. He's
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  S6: going to be flamboyant. He's going to have suave. But
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  S6: in reality, he's not a man. He's a boy in
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  S6: a man's body.
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  S5: Yeah, yeah. And he's going to have excuses from the
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  S5: past that haunt his present. And that's just deadly. Uh, okay,
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  S5: so Gil Stewart is my guest right now, and he
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  S5: and his wife work with blended families because they are one.
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  S5: How did your story go without a hitch? Right.
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  S6: Oh, boy, was it rough at the beginning. Oh, man.
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  S6: Even after two weeks, it was like we looked at
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  S6: each other and what did we get ourselves into? I'm
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  S6: sure of it. Yeah.
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  S5: How did that go? And what did God do to
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  S5: really get you guys on track with him?
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  S6: Well, I brought four kids into the marriage. I had
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  S6: three sons and a daughter. Brenda brought three sons. And
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  S6: so when we met each other and went on in
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  S6: my own heart and in my own story, my heart
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  S6: was just tromped on because my first wife chose to
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  S6: leave me. And we fought long and hard for it,
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  S6: but it just didn't come together. Brenda's case, she and
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  S6: her husband, you know, she didn't even get a chance
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  S6: to work out and her husband just walked out. So
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  S6: when we came into the marriage, it was like, Lord,
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  S6: heal our hearts. Just like we're talking about this aspect
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  S6: of restoration so that when we did remarry. But, you know,
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  S6: there was the, the time to where I didn't want
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  S6: anything to do with women. It was like, leave me alone. Right.
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  S6: You know, my first marriage was 20, almost 24 years
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  S6: and Brenda's was almost 19. And in those cases, when
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  S6: we came together, it was like the first or second
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  S6: date we went out on. I looked at her and said, look, Brenda,
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  S6: I know what commitment is. I am not afraid of commitment.
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  S6: What's my big concern is, is the the issue of
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  S6: trust and honesty. If we've got trust and honesty, we
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  S6: can make it. But without trust and honesty, because it
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  S6: had been blown up, because of betrayal and so forth
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  S6: that we had both gone through. And that's not everybody's story.
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  S6: But in our story, trust and honesty was the foundation.
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  S6: And without it, it was like I literally looked at
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  S6: her and said, if we don't have that, I stuck
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  S6: my hand out and said, we can shake and I'll
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  S6: say goodbye. Because I don't want anything to do with
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  S6: anything less than trust and honesty.
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  S5: How vital was it for I did the math. Six
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  S5: boys and one girl to see in you and Brenda
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  S5: a level of honesty, trust, humility. How much importance do
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  S5: you put on that? Almost more than what you say
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  S5: to the kids.
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  S6: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Don't don't tell me. Show me. Especially
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  S6: for kids they went through, as we refer to it
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  S6: as the Great Train Wreck anything. And especially with my
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  S6: own kids because of just different situations, it blew up
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  S6: their faith literally in Jesus because of how their parents
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  S6: said all these things. And then their family literally splintered
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  S6: and blew up and went through this, this train wreck.
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  S6: And so as we came back together in this new marriage,
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  S6: they had us under a microscope of saying, are you trustworthy?
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  S6: Do you really love me? Do you really love this man?
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  S6: Do you really love this woman? And that issue of
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  S6: being tested, of our trust and honesty, our vulnerability has
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  S6: been from the get go tested. You know, because when
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  S6: Brenda and I first got married, I think the oldest
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  S6: was 21 and the youngest was ten. And now, you know,
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  S6: 24 years later, they're now in their 40s and 30s.
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  S6: And I hate to say that out loud, but it's
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  S6: like they they keep testing that. And if we keep consistent, again,
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  S6: we step into the characteristic of chivalry. I am going
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  S6: to be humble. I'm going to be willing to learn
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  S6: and and show respect. I mean, in the stepfamily world,
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  S6: especially as stepdads, if there's one thing I can say
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  S6: to Stepdads today, you get what you give. If you're
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  S6: not giving the respect and the honesty, you aren't going
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  S6: to get it back. And that's heavy.
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  S5: That's heavy, that's heavy. Gill Stewart, my guest right now.
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  S5: What do you say? You've got, I don't know how
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  S5: many remarried men. And let's focus on the men right
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  S5: here because I'm a big believer. I hope you're with
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  S5: me because biblically, it looks like unequivocally men are initiators.
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  S5: Women are responders. What does a chivalrous remarried man look
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  S5: like that even a first time married man might not
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  S5: look like.
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  S6: Oh, that kind of man is willing to step into
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  S6: difficult situations and bring a calm, steady, firm demeanor. To
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  S6: bring peace, to bring a providing of safety and love,
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  S6: even at your own expense, of being misunderstood or disrespected
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  S6: and still stand there and take it. The ultimate chivalry
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  S6: was the act of the cross. Yes, we all totally
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  S6: didn't get it, but Jesus stepped into it anyway. Not
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  S6: my will, father, but yours, for the good of all.
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  S6: And that's what a man does. He steps into it
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  S6: for the good of all, and then hopes in faith,
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  S6: because it does eventually come around. Keep doing the right thing,
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  S6: even though you are getting worn out men. Keep doing
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  S6: the right thing and that is to be humble. Ask
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  S6: for wisdom and trust Jesus for the next step.
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  S5: Yeah, yeah. The interesting thing about the battle that you
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  S5: were in, especially early on in that remarriage, you had
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  S5: three boys with six skeptical eyes looking at you. Skepticism
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  S5: was their leading, and rightly so. That was their posture
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  S5: toward you. That feels almost daunting. Gill.
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  S6: Oh, yeah. I mean, their pain was astronomical. And as men,
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  S6: especially step dads, not step dudes, but step dads, you
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  S6: are acutely aware of their grief. I mean, you've got grief,
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  S6: but they've got it tenfold because this is the biggest
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  S6: thing for step kids that I continue to run into
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  S6: as a as a counselor, as a coach, or just
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  S6: a dude who's trying to encourage men, those young people.
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  S6: That's the biggest complaint I hear is that they didn't
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  S6: have a voice and yet they were, you know, dying
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  S6: and crying out, somebody please understand me. Provide me some
• 18:53
  S6: sense of belonging and hope and trust and safety, because
• 18:57
  S6: everything that I had was ripped away.
• 19:00
  S5: You know what's weird about this one, Gill? I think
• 19:02
  S5: the natural response of a man who's got word he's humble,
• 19:06
  S5: he's done the work, he's restored, he's remarried. The natural
• 19:11
  S5: thing a man would want to say is, look at
• 19:13
  S5: those boys and go, I need you to trust me.
• 19:16
  S5: And they're like, you know what, dude? I think I
• 19:20
  S5: need to see you before I just outright trust you.
• 19:23
  S6: You get my point. They're going to go, yeah, right. Yeah. Right.
• 19:26
  S5: Because that won't cut it. Uh, you know, we have
• 19:29
  S5: really just scratched the surface here. Boom crew. But I
• 19:32
  S5: gotta tell you, we've got a resource page that is
• 19:35
  S5: going to be powerful for you. I want you to
• 19:39
  S5: text the word step. And here's why. When you get there,
• 19:43
  S5: you're going to find a book you can grab called
• 19:46
  S5: Restored and Remarried. That's co-authored with Gil and his bride, Brenda.
• 19:50
  S5: You can find video series on Laugh Your Way to
• 19:56
  S5: a Better Marriage. You can also find. And this is
• 19:59
  S5: especially for you step dads. It's a tool of encouragement.
• 20:03
  S5: And it's Gil's video series Unsung Heroes. It's an eight
• 20:07
  S5: part series dedicated to men being a dad in a
• 20:10
  S5: step family arena. These are phenomenal tools. So I want
• 20:15
  S5: you to check it out. We don't do enough around
• 20:18
  S5: here with remarried contexts, but we're going to do more.
• 20:21
  S5: Text the word step one word step to 805 557898.
• 20:29
  S5: One word step to 805 557898.
• 20:38
  S1: Your spiritual pit stop to keep you going in the race.
• 20:42
  S1: You're listening to Carl and Crew.
• 20:45
  S5: Whole week we've been talking about this chivalry and it's
• 20:49
  S5: been a couple of days. So let me just remind
• 20:51
  S5: us here. This high ridge of biblical masculinity is a
• 20:57
  S5: call to stand tall, be bold, but not brash and
• 21:03
  S5: arrogant and not toxic masculinity like we find from bloggers
• 21:09
  S5: and big time platformers like the Tate Brothers, and also
• 21:13
  S5: not passivity. It's another way we fall off that high ridge.
• 21:17
  S5: With me right now is a man who's writing on
• 21:20
  S5: this in a fresh way. Doctor Alex McFarland. Who, buddy,
• 21:24
  S5: we can fall off this high ridge two ways. One
• 21:27
  S5: is passivity and the other one is toxicity. Neither one
• 21:30
  S5: of them are good, are they?
• 21:31
  S7: You nailed it. Toxicity. Passivity. Neither one is good. I
• 21:36
  S7: think the balance is in the middle there. Manhood, as
• 21:40
  S7: God describes it in his word.
• 21:42
  S5: Let's go back to this phenomenon. That's recent. We're seeing
• 21:48
  S5: something that at first blush, it sounds good. All right.
• 21:50
  S5: Men be men. And then it goes into men or abusers.
• 21:55
  S5: Men take advantage of men only think about themselves. And
• 21:59
  S5: my concern is we got a lot of young men
• 22:01
  S5: that have been raised in church that are starting to
• 22:03
  S5: glom on to the. And I hate to give these
• 22:05
  S5: guys too much airtime, so I've already mentioned their name.
• 22:08
  S5: I won't again, but what are we going to do
• 22:10
  S5: to counteract this cultural phenomenon?
• 22:13
  S7: I wrote this article actually a couple of weeks ago
• 22:16
  S7: on the manosphere. What is that? Well, the manosphere and
• 22:22
  S7: which is a term that's really only kind of come
• 22:24
  S7: about in the last several months, but it's really a
• 22:26
  S7: rebellion against what is perceived as cultural contempt for men.
• 22:33
  S7: It's a pushback about men, you know, kind of being
• 22:37
  S7: caricatured in the culture. I mean, in in most sitcoms
• 22:42
  S7: or movies or pop media men are either buffoons or
• 22:47
  S7: just cruel, you know, autocratic dictators. And the vast, vast
• 22:53
  S7: majority of males, Christian or not, uh, really are gentlemen
• 22:59
  S7: that they really are. Uh, the other thing is, and I,
• 23:02
  S7: I really blame this on about six decades of progressivism
• 23:07
  S7: and feminism is that masculinity has been suppressed in our culture.
• 23:14
  S7: I mean, the message that young men are being given
• 23:17
  S7: from childhood, certainly through public education and in media messaging,
• 23:23
  S7: masculinity is unwelcome. You know, male competitiveness. We have very
• 23:30
  S7: much a feminized culture, and we've certainly had a feminized
• 23:36
  S7: not not all, but in many quarters Christianity and Church
• 23:40
  S7: have been feminized. And so the manosphere is kind of
• 23:45
  S7: a pendulum swing where men push back. I'm not saying
• 23:49
  S7: Christian men on social media, it's almost like men are like, okay,
• 23:54
  S7: you think I'm toxic? You haven't seen toxic. I'm saying
• 23:58
  S7: that the church and Christians, and especially in the way
• 24:02
  S7: that we raise our children and role model to young people,
• 24:06
  S7: we have to recover biblical manhood, which is characterized by
• 24:13
  S7: by righteousness, humility, sacrifice, courage. I've never, ever in 30 years,
• 24:21
  S7: I've had over 500 articles published. I've never had anything
• 24:26
  S7: generate as much response. Mostly positive, somewhat negative. But my
• 24:32
  S7: take on modern masculinity has generated more response. Beautiful hands
• 24:37
  S7: down than anything I've ever written.
• 24:39
  S5: Yeah, and we're going to feature that article here in
• 24:41
  S5: just a little bit. You know, we've been programmed for this.
• 24:44
  S5: And you're right, you look at television and what you
• 24:46
  S5: see is, um, you'll see a chivalrous man every now
• 24:52
  S5: and then, like a Liam Neeson and an awesome action flick.
• 24:56
  S5: But the alley's gone today. But one of her childhood
• 24:59
  S5: favorites was little House on the Prairie. And I know
• 25:02
  S5: to some of you that could sound like passé and old.
• 25:05
  S5: But what was cool about that is Charles Ingalls or PA,
• 25:08
  S5: played by Michael Landon. He was a good dude. He
• 25:13
  S5: was a chivalrous guy. And I think I think that
• 25:16
  S5: families construct. I mean, we haven't had anything like that
• 25:21
  S5: in decades. Alex.
• 25:23
  S7: Exactly. You know, a website recently did a thing on
• 25:28
  S7: the top ten TV dads. I think number two was
• 25:34
  S7: Andy Griffith, which, you know, Andy Griffith was very much
• 25:37
  S7: in the role of like an Atticus Finch from To
• 25:40
  S7: Kill a Mockingbird.
• 25:41
  S5: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:42
  S7: Gregory Peck famously played Atticus Finch in the film version
• 25:46
  S7: of that, you know, calm, composed, wise, courageous. But this
• 25:53
  S7: particular website that did a thing of the top, whatever
• 25:57
  S7: top means TV dads in their list was both Homer
• 26:02
  S7: Simpson and Al Bundy. Now, Homer Simpson is a fictitious
• 26:06
  S7: cartoon guy. We all know that. But just really kind
• 26:10
  S7: of a buffoon, Al Bundy. He was a guy that, uh,
• 26:15
  S7: showed his son his favorite porn magazine. My point is,
• 26:19
  S7: we're in a culture that things like virtue and fidelity
• 26:25
  S7: for life to your spouse and being a man of
• 26:30
  S7: self-control and a moral role model and providing for his family.
• 26:35
  S7: These things. I don't know that they're not valued anymore,
• 26:38
  S7: but they're not hardly known anymore. And so what I'm
• 26:43
  S7: saying is, in a biblical sense, and this is the
• 26:47
  S7: path to fulfillment, I will tell you this masculinity in
• 26:51
  S7: God's economy is not domination or selfishness, but it's responsibility.
• 26:58
  S5: Yeah.
• 26:59
  S7: With God's help manning up and, you know, providing for
• 27:04
  S7: your family, honoring God, carrying yourself with self-control.
• 27:09
  S5: Amen. Alex MacFarlane, my guest right now in your article,
• 27:12
  S5: you speak about cynical sarcasm masquerading as wisdom. You know,
• 27:19
  S5: here's what one thing that's been concerning to me, and
• 27:21
  S5: it's probably birthed out of the political rancor, but I'm
• 27:26
  S5: finding guys that used to be champions of grace, champions
• 27:31
  S5: of humility, champions of authentic connection with God. There becomes
• 27:36
  S5: this voice of cynical sarcasm shots at people. And I'm
• 27:43
  S5: not opposed to calling out people in politics on either
• 27:46
  S5: side of the aisle. That's not my point. But there's
• 27:50
  S5: a weird, cynical sarcasm that actually appears kind of effeminate.
• 27:56
  S5: You know what I'm saying, Alex? What is going on there?
• 27:59
  S5: And how do we turn this whole thing around?
• 28:02
  S7: It gets turned around by God getting a hold of
• 28:06
  S7: each one of our own personal hearts. You know, cynicism.
• 28:10
  S7: You're right. It's less than masculine. But it's been said
• 28:14
  S7: that cynicism is the tool of the lazy mind. I mean,
• 28:18
  S7: anybody can be sarcastic and cutting, but really to patiently,
• 28:25
  S7: you know, look for the truth, the good. I'm going
• 28:29
  S7: to say this in first Corinthians 13 in the New Testament.
• 28:33
  S7: There's an interesting line in there. You know, love is
• 28:36
  S7: patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful, but
• 28:39
  S7: it says, love believes all things. Now, I looked that
• 28:45
  S7: up because, I mean, it doesn't just mean we're gullible
• 28:47
  S7: and like we believe anything uncritically.
• 28:50
  S5: No, it's affirmation of truth, right?
• 28:54
  S7: Yeah. Exact affirmation of truth. And in a way, especially
• 28:57
  S7: like when we're dealing with other people, love believes the
• 29:01
  S7: best about people unless proven otherwise. Now there comes a
• 29:06
  S7: time if you know, somebody is just bankrupt, you know,
• 29:11
  S7: by character, and there comes a time to dust your
• 29:14
  S7: feet off and move on. But really, biblical manhood looks
• 29:19
  S7: for the good in people and maximizes on that and
• 29:24
  S7: believes the best about people. Sarcasm is not like that,
• 29:28
  S7: and I think the best dads have known this the best.
• 29:32
  S7: Like sports coaches and in biblical manhood, we realize that
• 29:37
  S7: every other person is a human made in God's image.
• 29:41
  S7: They are worth investing in. People are worth caring about. Beginning,
• 29:47
  S7: of course, with the people under our own roof. You know,
• 29:51
  S7: here's the thing. Money, sexual conquests, narcissism these things don't
• 29:59
  S7: fulfill us. In fact, they leave us empty. Yeah, and
• 30:02
  S7: God hardwired us as men. Men are type A, and
• 30:06
  S7: I know in guys, they love a challenge. They love
• 30:11
  S7: an accomplishment. They love something to go for. And what
• 30:16
  S7: better than to pursue God to deny our self, to
• 30:21
  S7: serve our family. It says in Matthew 633, seek first
• 30:27
  S7: the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these
• 30:30
  S7: other things will be added to you. In other words, guys,
• 30:33
  S7: let me say this. The stuff that you're searching for,
• 30:37
  S7: you know, a purpose, an identity, a fulfillment, something to
• 30:41
  S7: give your life for. You're going to find it in
• 30:44
  S7: God and family.
• 30:46
  S5: Amen, brother. Alex McFarland's been my guest. Listen, I want
• 30:50
  S5: you to get this op ed straight to your inbox,
• 30:54
  S5: and we've got it for you. Title of it is
• 30:57
  S5: Manosphere Masculinity Without Virtue and sacrifice. Here's how you get it.
• 31:03
  S5: Text the word Alex a LEX1 word. Alex to 805 557898.
• 31:12
  S5: Text the word Alex to 805 557898.