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Some things aren't yours to carry · insyed; cozy psychology

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  Before we begin, I'd like to remind you to straighten
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  your posture. Hard to focus with a bad back.
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  Anyways, welcome back to INSyed. I'm Syed. And
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  every week, I take real academic research and
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  bring it closer to the life you're actually living.
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  Like a diary that did psychology. Let's take
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  a peek INSyed. I just got back home from my
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  cancelled haircut appointment. You can most likely
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  imagine that I was upset. And you'd be justified
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  in thinking that. After waking up at 10am, which
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  is relatively early since it's spring break,
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  don't judge me, and walking uphill for 30 minutes
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  only for my barber to say that they can't make
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  time for me when I'm already there, you can assume
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  that I was upset. But honestly, I feel okay.
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  Dare I say I'm feeling really happy? I'd be lying
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  if I said I wasn't angry. Why couldn't they have
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  called me or anything at all in the morning?
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  I just wasted an hour of my day walking uphill
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  only for something not to happen. I was pissed.
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  I began to stew in frustration as I stepped outside
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  and sat on some steps that were nearby. I drank
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  some water because I was dehydrated from the
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  uphill walk. And in that moment, I checked the
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  time. It was only 1030. I still had some 11 hours
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  left in the day. This realization reminded me.
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  The cancellation was something I had no power
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  over. What I did have power over was what I do
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  next. It was something I learned in my psychology
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  lectures. The Locus of Control. This idea describes
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  how there are things that are in and out of our
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  control. It's what separates things that we should
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  stress about and what we should let go. Think
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  of it like a ring. A ring where you're in the
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  middle is your internal locus of control. And
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  how far you can stretch your arms dictates what
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  you have power over. Everything in that ring
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  is every choice you've ever made. And look who's
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  in the center of it all. You. Everything about
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  you. What you choose to do with your hands, your
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  heart, your mind is something that is in your
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  control. And nothing can take that away from
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  you. By recognizing this, you and I will be able
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  to live more fruitful and productive lives. The
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  research backs this up. Studies have shown that
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  those who have a strong internal locus of control
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  tend to experience more emotional stability.
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  they've even been found to have better self -control.
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  What's nice is that the combination of a strong
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  sense of self -control and locus of control have
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  been linked to people living healthier lives
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  with greater physical and mental well -being.
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  We can't say for certain, but we can assume it's
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  because they get to choose. By knowing and understanding
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  the difference between what we can and can't
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  control, we can choose clarity. We can choose
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  peace. We can choose us. I couldn't control if
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  my haircut would have happened or not, but I
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  could control what I do for the rest of the day.
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  On the way back home, I decided to stop by the
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  pharmacy to get some skincare and dental products.
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  Soon I'll be leaving again to go perform my Friday
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  prayers. Even in Islam, it's recommended that
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  we not dwell on what's out of our control, because
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  where we are now may be the best place we could
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  be. It's a concept in Islam known as tawakkul,
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  and it's something I've been trying to practice.
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  So like my haircut appointment? Maybe it being
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  cancelled was for the best. Maybe the person
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  cutting my hair wasn't having a good day. And
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  I would have left the salon with a bad case of
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  my barber messed me up. Who knows? What I do
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  know is that I've still got the rest of the day
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  to make today count. How about you? What's left
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  in your ring? And that brings us to the end of
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  this week's INSyed. Thank you for spending your
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  time here. If something today stayed with you,
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  The best way you can support is to share it with
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  someone it may reach. You can also follow the
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  show wherever you listen. And if you have a moment,
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  leaving a review genuinely helps more people
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  find us. Until next week, remember that there's
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  always more INSyed.