Latest / Opie & Carl / Jim Florentine Went to Shaman After Girlfriend’s Suicide

Transcript

Jim Florentine Went to Shaman After Girlfriend’s Suicide · Opie & Carl

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You're just a child.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: You don't have a real conversation.
• 0:03
  Speaker 3: With that, we say hi to Jim Florentino.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: What's going on, man?
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: I haven't seen you since I got fired.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Fuck!
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: What do you think of the new place?
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: It's great. It's about the size of my bathroom.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: Look how big his room is. The producer booth is,
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: I think it is bigger than the actual studio. That
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: just doesn't make sense, but.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, whatever.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: It's all good. What are you going to do?
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: I had a good run. And now I do this
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: and see what happens. You've been good floor team.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, everything's good, man.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man. I just came back from Miami, went down
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: to the Dolphin home opener, took my boy down there.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: But you had to deal with lightning delays.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, two of them. Two two-hour delays.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: Two two-hour delays. And they didn't have an official halftime, right?
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: No.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: When they finally started playing again, they said, fuck the halftime.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because it was a minute and 41 left in
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: the second quarter. They stopped the game for two hours.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Two hours.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: They came back and they said, it'll be a three-minute halftime.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: We'll finish out the first half. It'll be a three-minute halftime.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: 41 minutes after they started the game, another two-hour delay.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: I left about an hour and 45 minutes in. Watch
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: a game at a sports bar back.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: At the hotel.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: But you flew all the way down there for the opener.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: And then you end up in a bar watching it anyway.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I couldn't. You couldn't deal with it anymore.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: It was 100 degrees.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: I mean, I could go in the air conditioning in
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: the part where I had the tickets and stuff, but
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: it still wasn't worth it. I'm like, what am I
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: going to do?
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: That's funny.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Because they could have started the game back up at midnight.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: They were going to get the game in no matter what,
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: so you didn't know when it was. Meanwhile, I heard
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: one thunder the whole time. There was nothing going on.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: One thunder.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I'm putting fucking tanning lotion on, and they're stopping the game.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: I'm fucking sitting there getting a tan. I'm like, what
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: the fuck is going on? How about somebody get killed
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: by lightning at a football game first? And then we'll
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: make up a rule. It's never happened before.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Toast somebody. No one gets choked by lightning in a stadium.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: People fall off the fucking top level all the time.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fine.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: That's fine. You know what I mean?
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: You know, I call it not the PC culture. I
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: call it the pussy culture.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: When we were growing up, they didn't have lightning delays.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Never.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: You went to these sporting events, and they're like, ah,
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: you know, they didn't give a fuck. You're sitting on
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: a metal fucking bench.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: You're a lightning rod.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Larry Zonker used to play for the Dolphins under Coach
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Shula back in the day. He was an animal. He
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: just ran over people. He even tweeted out.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: He goes.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: We'd practice in the lightning outside with Coach Shula. Now
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: they're stopping games.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that would just make us run faster. But when
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: did they start that? Only a few years back.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Only a few years back. And now all the concerts
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: are doing it. You know what I mean? They're getting
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: canceled to anything outside.
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: Right, right.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: All this shit.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: So growing up between New York and Miami, I have
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: a lot of Miami Dolphin fans. Fucking crazy.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: So one of my buddies, he had a bar called
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: Miami Mike's in Jersey, which is like all Miami themed
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: and crazy shit.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So he would fly down to Miami.
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: To watch the games, not at the stadium, but at
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: sports bars.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: And I was like, dude, why do you do that?
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: He goes, the fans.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: I get to enjoy watching it at a bar with
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Miami Dolphin fans.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: That's all he cared about. So he'd go to the
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: best sports bar. He's like, this place has killer chicken fingers.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: And he would just sit there.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: But he's like, he goes, you watch a Miami game here,
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: you scream, and you've got three people giving you fucking side-eye.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: The shitty Giants fans. You know what I mean? So
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: he would fly down just to sit at a sports bar.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: But in the big cities, they figure that out.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, in New York, there's a Dolphin Bar. There's a
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: bar for pretty much every team.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: Pretty much every team now. And if you're a fan
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: of the Dolphins, I don't know which bar it is,
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: but everyone goes there, so it has the same.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: He might have had a Coke proper. There might have
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: been something. Right, yeah.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: He probably had a side chick.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Now that I'm backing this thing up, now that.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I'm unpacking the story. Yeah, he flew in Saturday night,
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: had a side chick, and then went to the game.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe it was
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: all pleasure.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: But lightning delays.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Scratch that story, Joey.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: What the fuck with the lightning delays?
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Brutal.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: And I don't think we've lost one yet.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: No.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: Don't they change the rules after they lose a person
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: or two?
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what usually happens.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Usually.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: They knew for a long time that that hockey puck
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: was dangerous.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: But they waited until they finally took someone out and like,
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: all right, I guess we got to change and get
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: the nets up now.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: And same with baseball.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Baseball.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: That baby that got hit last year at Yankee Stadium.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: That's when they started putting the nets up. And hockey, too.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: You know, all that stuff.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: The nets stretch pretty far out now. I skipped a
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: few years going to baseball. And I took my son
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: to Yankee Stadium, and I couldn't believe it. The Nets
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: go all the way out to the outfield, more or less,
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: at this point.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. It's tough that you can't get a
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: foul ball anymore.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: No, not really.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but they really
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: extended the Nets.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Some little baby got hit last year at a Yankee game.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: I remember that. So they basically put Nets up all around.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Up to first base? Yeah, past the first base and
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: third base line.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: That's pretty fucking far now. How does it look? It's
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: a little weird.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: It looks weird. But you can't get a foul ball
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: if he's sitting back there now because there's nets.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: But that was the whole point of sitting there.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: Yes, you bring your little mitt and hope one came
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: at you.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I think that's the baby's fault. Well, you brought a
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: little kid. When are you going to bring him in
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: a hot? It's a hot zone, right? Everybody knows where
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: the foul balls go.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't bring a baby to a baseball game.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: And then the lightning. Yeah, I think you've got to
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: wait for one person to go down, and then you
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: start the lightning delays.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Bro, if someone gets struck by lightning, that would be
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: fucking awesome.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: So every year.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: If it happened in Philly, that guy would get right
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: the fuck up.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. I'll smoke it.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: And then look up at the heavens and go, is
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: that all you got? World champs.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Fuck you. Repeat Brady.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: No, someone always falls off those ramps. They're drunk coming
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: down at the Meadowlands or wherever or at the top
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: every year. There's a drunk guy that falls.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: But it's understood. Like, your sports fans are... They don't
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: feel sorry for others. Like, oh, look at this jerk off.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: He jumped off.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: You're supposed to lose one every once in a while.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, things to hurt.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: Makes you feel alive.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I went to Barclay Center to see WWE Raw. My
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: son's in the wrestling now.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: Is he really?
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and his friends.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Are you happy or sad about that?
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: I like, you know, I'll watch it with them. I
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: hadn't watched wrestling for a long time, but, you know,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: at least it's not some, you know, we used to
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: be Ninja Turtles.
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: And fucking Henry Danger, these fucking kid shows. I'm like,
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: this sucks. These fucking kid shows. Yeah, or he's stupid.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: He's heckling.
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: Boo!
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: He's heckling.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Or, you know, the fucking Nut Job 2. You know
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: what I mean? These fucking kids animation movies, which I hate.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: You hate that too?
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: I don't even, I don't.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: What?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: If we're going to go see him, I'm out cold
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: within 15 seconds. I sleep for like an hour. And
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: then I wake up and, yeah, no, it was good.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: You fell asleep. Yeah, but I was really tired.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: Even like Despicable Me and all those?
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: I don't pay attention to anything that's going on.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: See, I got a theater. We'll get back to that.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: I promise. I'm still really good at this, Florentine, even
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: though I got fired. I got a theater where I
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: live where they have those double wide fucking pretty much
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: couches that are automatic.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: And I would set up perfectly where my kid would
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: be in my arms so I know some stranger wasn't
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: going to take him while I fell asleep.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Jesus, how many Liam Neeson movies have you fucking watched?
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: And then I would lean back at just the right
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: angle where he thought I was watching a movie with
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: him and I would be out cold getting my naps in.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: Every once in a while, they hit me and go, hey,
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: you see that? I'm like, oh, my God, that's amazing.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: That's a good idea. But those theaters, I think, were
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: made for parents that don't want to deal with the
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: kid movies.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they got the recliner. They got the recliner. So
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: I'll be in my recliner. He'll be in his. And
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: he's got all his food and all that stuff.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: Beautiful.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: I always pass up. But yeah, that's not for me. Right.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Zero scratch movies.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: But I'll go. I'll take the bullet. No problem. It's
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: just like, you know. You've got to do something with
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: your chick. You're like, I don't want to do this,
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: but I'll take the bullet for an hour and a half.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: If I can get a nap in.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: I've got to enjoy it.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: I don't know. There's nothing wrong with it because it's
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: for kids, but I just can't get into it. I'm like,
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: So you went to the Barclays.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I go back to the Barclays, and I
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: got super high seats, way up, nosebleed. And that fucking
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: top level at Barclays, anyone that's been there, I mean,
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know how you don't fall off. It's so
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: fucking steep. It's almost like at MetLife. You go all
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: the way to those nosebleeds.
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: It's so fucking steep. I'm trying to walk with drinks.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm going to fall. Yeah. I don't know
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: how someone has not fallen at a concert drunk.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: I was telling my buddy, I go, if we were drinking,
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: we would have fucking fell off of here.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: It's crazy how they built that.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: The Sabres, their old arena up there in Buffalo is
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: the same thing. So steep. When you had to walk down,
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: you're like, what? I feel like I'm going to fall
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: onto the ice.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: They really don't care about you, though. If you're buying
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: seats up there, they don't give a fuck.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: Well, the Barclays, being a hockey fan, not so much
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: in the recent years with the Islanders, but I've been
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: there for a bunch of games. You know the deal
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: with that, right? They never set it up for hockey.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: So there's a whole section. If you're behind one of
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: the nets, you can't see the net all the way
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: to the roof. So they have TVs so you can
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: watch the action.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Shut up.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: Look it up on your phone.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Wasn't there a car in the way for a while?
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Like there was a car they were giving away.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: No, seriously. Right outside.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: It was in the way.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: Well, that was the other thing. Like prime seats in
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: the corner. Prime seats. They probably could fit. What would
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: a car be? So maybe a dozen to 15 seats,
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: let's say. A car sitting there for a dumb giveaway
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: in prime fucking seats. They just didn't figure it out.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Bush league shit.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, the Islanders can't wait to get the fuck out
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: of there. It's just a terrible place for hockey. Terrible.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Those Islanders, man. Didn't someone try to make believe they
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: were somebody and bought them for like.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Spano. It was some crazy story.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: It's a great 30 for 30. Bought the team with
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: literally no money to his name. That was before they
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: could check you out on the Internet.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: This was when? Was this back in the 80s? Was
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: it Lossie and all those guys?
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, man, I haven't seen this for 30 in a
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: long time. It was after that run.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: It was after that run. Mike, if you got the.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: I.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: Want to say early 90s.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: If I had to guess.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: 96.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Oh, all right. 96.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: But he bought the team pretty much with no credit.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: Nothing.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: Totally scammed him. And then couldn't pay his bills. Couldn't
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: pay anybody. Because it all caught up to him. It's
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: a great 30 for 30.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: He bought the Islanders, though.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: He just figured out a way to buy them.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: Right. He was sending his resume and all this horse
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: shit around.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: He bought them with two fax machines and a check.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he just wanted to be a big shot like
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: the rest of the guys that own sports franchises.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Well, he did it.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: Dude, I missed you, man. We texted each other, but
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: I went and saw Blackberry Smoke at Irving Plaza. Did
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: a podcast with those guys that came out great. And
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: I credit you again.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: No, no problem. I'm just pissed I missed a concert.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: I would have hung with you, man, had some beer.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: How fucking great are they?
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Do you have the new album?
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Find a Light?
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: Find a Light is amazing. Another great album from Blackberry Smoke.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: Florentine was the one who turned me on to him.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: And I'm not in that age where I'm getting turned
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: on to new music a lot. But for some reason,
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: I think it was that Waiting for the Thunder song. Yeah.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: I'm like, that song is fucking, and it's kind of metal, right?
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that one, yeah.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Being a metal guy yourself, so. And then, yeah, then
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: I was instantly hooked. Then they came on the old show.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: You were there. And I mentioned you. They certainly miss you.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: So we had a ball, though.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: The cross between, like, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Black Crowes.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: All great.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Allman Brothers, the band.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: Like all three. Yeah, shit like that. It's like 70.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: You listen to it all day. They look like they're
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: Lynyrd Skynyrd. They look like they're from 1973. They have
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: fucking long hair.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, they're great, man.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: But they just write great songs. It's just fucking good songs.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: All legit, all original.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: How old are they?
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Young kids?
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: No, they've been around forever.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: That's what makes them cool, too.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: They got some chops. They got some cool stuff.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: They got like five albums out. Zac Brown signed them
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: to his label.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: Hard to tell because they all have beards and stuff.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: And they do like 250 days a year on the road,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: so they could be 35 or 55. Yeah, they're road warriors. No,
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: but they've really been around a long time out of Atlanta.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: And I didn't know they got their name from the
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Black Crows. Black Crows named that band. That was one
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: of their— Oh, really?
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, one of the names that the Black Crows threw
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: around a little bit.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: It was Blackberry Smoke.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and they were looking for a name for their band,
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: and they basically said, you know, we threw this name
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: around for a while, Blackberry Smoke, and they liked it.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fucking great, man.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: But it was a great show at Irving Plaza. You two,
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: by the way, have a lot in common.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Why's that?
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Why's that?
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, he hates ketchup. You ate ketchup, right?
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah. That's not what I was getting at. I actually
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: did use ketchup last night.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because on Wednesday, me and my son, we cook hamburgers.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: It's like hamburger night.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: Every Wednesday?
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, every Wednesday. It's just me and him. And he
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: gets chips on the side, so he likes that. And
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I usually don't eat the bun, so I need a
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: little flavor, so I'll put some ketchup on the side.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: What about a nice juicy tomato?
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: No, I don't like tomatoes.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: You don't like tomatoes?
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, if they're real small.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Tomatoes are hot. Who wants to eat a hot tomato?
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: It's not a hot tomato. You put it on cold
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: at the last second.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: It doesn't get hot?
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: I'm a chef too, chef. You know that.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: If they're small, I like them. I don't want a
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: big slice. The big slice, it just, I don't know.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: No, the bigger, the better. Thin sliced tomatoes suck.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: But I don't like potatoes because I always get added.
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: Whenever I write anything about food that has anything to
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: do with ketchup, they.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Bring him into the thing.
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: So I'm like, why would you bring fucking a legendary comic?
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: I'm just talking about something and all of a sudden,
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: look at this, Jim Florence. I'm like, what the fuck?
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: Leave this man alone.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: No, I think it was somebody came in the studio
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: when I was on the old show and they got
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: eggs and you know, in the morning, like scrambled eggs.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: And he goes, I need some ketchup. And I'm like,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: what are you putting ketchup on the eggs for? And
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I said, that's just a habit you had when you
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: were a kid. And you're just still doing it. And
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: then I'm like, I'm just not a big fan of ketchup.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: And then it went crazy. It was a whole.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: But you have become the gatekeeper.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Bro, it's crazy.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: Because I'll talk about my three football teams.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: Florentine ain't going to like this tweet.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: I know. Like, relax, dude.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Like, the other day, I'm like, I showed a picture of, like,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: a hamburger. And you could see a little bit of ketchup.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: At Heinz. At Jim Florentine.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fuck is this?
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: What's going on?
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: And I'm terrified of Jim responding, you know what I mean?
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: Because, you know, he'll cut you out.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: He's a fucking awesome comedian. So I'm like, yeah, no,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I'm good. And I just leave the tweet. I just
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: go and do something else.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I had a mute, yeah. Wait, but you don't
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: like ketchup either? No, no.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: I don't like ketchup on hamburgers. I don't like ketchup
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: on burgers.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: I love ketchup. Right, okay, yeah. I mean, sometimes, you know,
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: it's all made a good point. It actually goes with
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: a hamburger. You're at a barbecue on the grill. I'm like, okay,
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: I could see that.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: But whatever.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I don't. It just got brought up that day. And
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: I just go, no, I'm not a fan of it.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I don't use it anymore. I used to put it
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: on my eggs, on everything. I'd squirt it all over.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like, what am I doing? Yeah.
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: I think your palate, as you get older, ketchup becomes
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: sweeter and sweeter and sweeter and sweeter to you.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: It's like.
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: When I used to love it, like my favorite thing
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: used to be crinkled cup fries with ketchup. And as
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: I get older, I see myself using other sauces.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: I like relishes more. I like stone ground mustards a
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: lot more than I did when I was a kid.
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: Your palate develops, and it's literally all sugar. It's not
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: even tomatoes anymore.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, there's a lot of sugar.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: No, yeah. It's corn syrup.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: It's liquid sugar, basically.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's liquid sugar.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: When is Hunt's going to figure out their ketchup sucks
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: a dick?
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: It does suck his dick. I mean, if you make
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: a ketchup and you're not Heinz, you're a real dick.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: If you're going to go with ketchup, you can only
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: go with Heinz. All the other stuff is terrible.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: But at this point, you don't, Hunt's has to know
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: their ketchup is way behind.
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: You know what makes us nuts in the food industry
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: is like, like we'd be opening a restaurant and like,
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: I'm like the executive chef and then the sous chef
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: would come and be like, chef, I want you to
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: try something.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: So I'd go there and he like made his own ketchup.
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: I'm like, bro, out of all the things we need
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: to do, You're going to go up against Heinz. That
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: bitch owns a submarine. They've been making it for 100 years.
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: You're going to spend this whole time opening the restaurant
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: with a cute little fucking jar, and it's awful.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Because people don't want to taste a different kind of ketchup.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: They're going to hate it. It tastes like Heinz or out.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: There's a stadium named after Heinz. Heinz Field, where the
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Steelers play.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: All because of ketchup.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, all because of ketchup.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: We were in Nantucket, and Vic Henley took me to—
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: I had vertigo because he told me the whole Heinz
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: story in like 10 minutes, and.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I couldn't even.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: He was like, man, it was raining, 1974. I'm like,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: I just don't care anymore. Just show me the house.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: He's a good at it. Oh, my God.
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: I need Joey Silva to just come and just cut
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: the story out.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: Vic is fascinating, very knowledgeable, has a lot of stories, but.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: And then he's like, well, on this side, the bulkhead
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: says Hans.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: But on the other side, they made it out of brass,
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: an 1874 switch that says Hans. I'm like, this story's
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: too long, bro. But you see their house. It looks
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: like a Home Depot. Like, it's just a place.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Giant, right?
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. And it's a place they use maybe
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: a few weekends a year.
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: From the locals being there, they tell me that they're
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: usually there three to.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Four days in the summer.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: That's it?
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Is that amazing?
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: $ 22 million, $ 30 million house. They're there two days at most.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: But that was John Kerry's ex-wife or something, right?
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: No, they're still together.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, they are still together. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: His boat's there.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: All right, okay.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: He's got an 80-something foot oyster.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: It's the most expensive sailboat you can possibly buy. Blockhead
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: is still married to her.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Blockhead.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: Anyway, so the other point, though. Getting back to the
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: fruity beer. So when I put on Twitter the beer
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: I'm drinking, same thing. Right to Florentine.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: I live in constant fear that Florentine's going to fucking
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: get me.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: Hey, Florentine, what do you think of this? You're not
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: going to be happy with what Oap's drinking. He's got
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: a life. He doesn't give a fuck.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like eating a chicken figure. All of a
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: sudden I say... Ooh, Edge and Florentine. I'm like, what
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: the fuck? Why are you bringing this killer in here?
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I'm good to go.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: Look, I just don't drink them. I don't care. If
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: someone wants to drink them, that's fine. When I went
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: to the Dolphin game on Sunday, outside there's one beer spot.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: They didn't have Coors Light or Heineken, so my buddy
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: got me some fucking IPA or something.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: I don't like IPAs.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: He's like, you want that? I go, I'd rather not.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: There's no other beer, so I'll take it. I'm like, yeah,
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: it's not that good. And then I found the beer
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: that I like, but I just like, all right.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: I haven't seen you in a while. I'm really going
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: back to like old school beers. They're called grandpa beers,
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: like Old Milwaukee and Peels.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Guys, the other day.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: I'm going that way with this now. Yeah, I know.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: I just want a fucking beer. I don't want all
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: this shit in it anymore.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: I was in Miami with a dime piece. Just beautiful.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: The sun was out. Everything's perfect. I see a guy
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: next to me. I'm like, what are you drinking? He's like,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: a Lohenbrau.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: I said, they got fucking Lohenbrau here? I fucking got,
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: I drank Lohenbrau for two days straight. It's just crisp, delicious.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: It doesn't taste like a foot. It doesn't give me
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: a headache. Like IPAs, I drink a beer and I'm
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: thirstier than when I first started drinking a beer.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: I get dizzy trying to figure out what's in some
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: of these beers. It's exhausting.
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: They have the names that sound like, you know, like
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: you name like show dogs, you know, like dirty little rascal.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: Like what the fuck, bro?
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what that means. Is it a
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: fucking Pilsner? What is it? Crazy devil, hot master. What
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: the fuck is that?
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: Just get me a Miller Lite.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: You have a Miller?
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: I'm good.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Give me a genuine draft, bro. I'm 100% good. I'm good.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: So, anyway. No, you guys have, I mean, recently divorced.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, really?
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Best thing that ever happened to me.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: And his story, I don't know how much he wants
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: to say. And I don't know how much you want
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: to say. But your stories are very similar.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: I got a comedy special coming out at the end
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: of the year about my whole divorce. Really? It's called
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: I Got the House. Oh, she got nothing. Yeah, so
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: I got no problem talking whatever because I basically talk
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: about on my special i tell everything that went down
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: and all that stuff oh yeah.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: Wow is it all out there now huh or you
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: or people are going to finally find out the whole story.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Well yeah most of it's you know i'd say about
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: 60 of it's out there and the rest will be
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: in a special and then afterwards.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: And it's called i got the house it's called i
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: got that's brilliant.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: So whenever people feel bad for me when I'm talking
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: about my divorce on stage, because the crowd's like, oh,
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: I'm like, look, I got the house. I got the house.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: Don't feel bad.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I got the house.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? That's a running gag throughout
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: the whole special. I got the house. What ungodly shit
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: did she do to you? I'm a professional.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: You banged it out.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, we had a prenup. Oh, good.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: There you go. I didn't.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: I didn't.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: I thought that love was real. But when you get.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: Married and you both don't have nothing, I don't know
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: what your situation was. There's really no reason for a
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: prenup if you don't, you know, you both start out
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: your careers or whatever it is.
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: She had so much nothing that it looked like I
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: had nothing because she came in with negative nothing.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Well, Mike came in with negative nothing too. And then
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I said, look, I've been working my, you know, 25
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: years doing standup or whatever. I'm not my career. I'm
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: not going to just, you know, shit blows up that
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: you're going to get all my stuff and then I'm
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: going to be living in a fucking, you know, in
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: a townhouse by myself. So I said, you know, we
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: got to have the prenup. I got to be protected here.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: You know, and it's not good to bring it up.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: There's never a good time to bring up a prenup.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Never.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: You could be on vacation. You could be in Napa Valley,
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: fucking romantic, drinking wine, and you bring it up. There's
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: no place, no good place to bring it up ever
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: because it's basically like this.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: What about the Parthenon? As the sun's going down.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: Not Long Walk either.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: The most romantic place ever. You go to fucking Rome,
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: plan a trip. Still, not a good place.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: Never.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: And in your head you're thinking, I think I can
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: bring up the prenup right now.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the vacation's over. She's already fucking, I want to
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: fly me out in the morning. I'm going home. But
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: it's because it's basically saying, look, I don't trust you.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Sign here. If you break it down. But it's like, hey,
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: if someone else has it. If she had it. I go, look,
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: if you had all this stuff and I had nothing,
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't go. I would sign it too. And thank
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: God that happened because I would have lost pretty much everything.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: I lost everything.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: You did?
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: That's where you're not similar. Yeah. Your stories are similar,
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: but not the outcomes.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Well, Carl's coming out with a special. I didn't get
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: the house.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: No, I'm going to get what's called I Live in
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Jim's House. At Ketchup.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: At Heinz.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: I Live in a Creepy Cabin.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. No, she got me. She got me good. Oh,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: my God. And I was almost– I got married on
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: third base.
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: I was already in my late 30s, successful.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then I figured, wow, how can I really
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: fuck my life up? And I– I nailed it right
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: down the middle.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: It's pretty creepy.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: But you guys got two kids, right? No.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: I put the farm with the chickens on them. They're
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: her kids.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, they're not your kids. No.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: So basically, to make a long story short, really smart people,
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: they came up to me and they said, Carl, this
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: is what's going to happen.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: They said, you know, you're growing in media and stuff
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: like that and do all the TV food.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: Stuff and And this podcast.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: And the podcast. I didn't mention the podcast when I
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: talked to them. I didn't think it was worth it.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: I think I was going to get the same answer
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: if I said podcast or not podcast. I'll call them tomorrow.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: I'll tell them.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Hey, guys, and the podcast.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: And the podcast. Is everything still the same?
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're still good.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: It's starting to do all right.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: And the podcast. No, the podcast is doing great.
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: So a really smart guy said to me, he said,
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: this is– because I wanted to buy her out.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: We had a restaurant. And we opened the restaurant, and
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: I was so dumb, and I did it 50-50 with her.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: This is when you guys first got married or ordered together.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: And I called the restaurant.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: I used to joke. They're like, why did you call
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: the restaurant Marie's? That was her name. Her real name
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: was Sarbor, the monster from hell, but we called her Marie's.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: And they said, why did you call it Marie's?
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: I said, well, that way the lawyer knows who gets what.
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: That's what I used to joke about. Not a joke.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: So... The really smart guys, they sat with me. They said,
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: this is what's going to happen.
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: You are going to buy her out, and she's going
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: to blow through all the money, and then she's going
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: to tell everybody that you left her and the kids destitute,
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: and you're sitting there with the restaurant. They said, the
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: only way you get out of this thing is scot-free.
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: So you give her everything and sign over everything. And
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: the really smart guys, they all put it together. So
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: what I did was I gave her the restaurant and everything.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: No alimony, no nothing. I missed the child support thing.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: I was slated to sign the adoption papers a month.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: To make them officially yours?
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: From when the relationship blew up, yeah.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: Wow. So you don't have no child support?
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: No child support, no alimony.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: No alimony. No nothing, no tax burden. So you sign
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: the restaurant over to her? Everything. And what about the house?
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: We rented a house.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, perfect.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: We rented a house, thank God.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: So he's free and clear.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: We were going to buy a house, but her own
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: vanity did it in.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: So the house that we could afford in our town,
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: she didn't like it because it looked like it was
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: from the 70s.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: This is a real person. So I was like, this
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: is a real person thinking this way, Jim. A real
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: person with a driver's license.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: And she's like, I don't want to buy that house
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: because it's the smallest house in the town and it
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: looks stupid. So we rented like $ 6, 000 a month McMansion
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: so that we look like it. So the car looked
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: good in the driveway. And that was the beginning. I
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: remember I tell my uncle, he goes, she fucking stupid?
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: You got to get out of there. You're going to
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: go broke with this one. And basically what happened? But
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: she kept everything. But she was a millionaire there for
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: five minutes. I'm sure she's halfway done with it.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: But at least– so you're out of the restaurant.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Out of everything.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Which is good. So if there's any drama or any
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: shit goes down, it's nothing to do with you. No payroll,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: no tax, nothing. None of that shit. You didn't have
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: a house.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Didn't have a house.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Didn't have a house together. So you rented, which is perfect. Perfect.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: And no alimony.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: No alimony or child support, nothing.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: He's good moving forward.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: But I lost the chocolate lab, which is– What?
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: Don't bring up the dog. Don't bring up the dog.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: I can't think about the dog. Look at his eyes.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Don't bring up the dog.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: I miss my fucking dog.
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: I literally just started crying.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: He's tearing up. If you want to join us, we're
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: going to do another podcast today at Get Parts and
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: drink beers with Sherrod and Carl and Vic Henley. And
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: we brought up the dog at Get Parts.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: I ruined the whole fucking podcast.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: Like the happiest place ever.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Everybody's drinking.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: We're having fun. We haven't seen each other in a while.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: We're drinking bourbon and beers. The podcast is crushing. We're
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: laughing our asses off. And then he brings up his
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: stupid dog.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: It hurts, bro.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: And then everyone starts crying. Can you imagine Sherrod crying?
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: He's crying on the sidewalk.
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: The reason everybody started crying, I'm going to probably start
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: crying and say it again, but what I do is the.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Dog, Max, his name is Max, he takes him to
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: a doggy daycare in my town. So I pull up
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: During the week, and I played with him through the fence.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: That's what I do.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: No.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Look, I had my dog for 13 years. I just
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: lost it two weeks ago.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: So you know what it is.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: It was brutal.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: When you love a dog.
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: And it's a chocolate lab, which is literally a walking
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: ball of love. Not too smart, but it'll love you
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: to death.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: Well, they don't judge you.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: No. The only person in the house. The other ones
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: are a bunch of gypsies sharpening their nails.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: Dogs obviously don't know how to work Twitter. Yeah, I know.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Way too much milk bones in a dog treat.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: I was so obsessed. We got me and my ex
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: ex from a while back. Get this little Yorkie.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: You know, so I fell in love with it. And
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: now she she passed away. Long story, whatever. So now
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: her family that she never even talked to wants everything
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: from me. Every all of herself, including the dog, because
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: they know I like the dog.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Why would they want it?
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: Because they're just cunts.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: They're just cunts.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: So they go, we want that little dog, too. My
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: ex wasn't even friends with her. She was adopted. It
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: was an adopted family that she talked to like once
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: a year.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: So as soon as everything went down and they wanted
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: all of her stuff, all of a sudden they were
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: super good. And they wanted the dog. And I'm out
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: of my mind.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: No way.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: So they're like, we want that dog. And I'm like, holy.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: I go, there's no way I'm giving this dog. No.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: I'm freaking out. I go, I didn't care about anything
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: about money because we owned a condo together. We had
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: to figure that out and shit. I had to write
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: him a big check. I go, there's no way to
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: get in that fucking dog. So my friend had the
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: fucking greatest idea. I go, look, all you got to do,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: they only met that dog once. All you got to
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: do is just get another Yorkie that looks just like
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: her and give them that fucking dog if you have
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: to give it up.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: That's brilliant. So my friend had a Yorkie that looked
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: just like mine. And he's like, look, we can't handle
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: this dog you want. I go, I can't have two dogs.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: And then I told him, I said, dude, I might
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: need that dog.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: He goes, all right, no problem.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: So I kept him on hold for like nine months.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: I wound up getting a divorce. But I was just
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: going to give him that dog. I go, that's the
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: fucking greatest idea ever. So I was going to go
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: give him that dog. My friend was going to give
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: it to me for free. Okay, here's your dog. And
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: I would have kept mine. It never went down, but
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: that was what I was going to do.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: Wait, that was your ex-ex.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Ex-ex.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: But you said divorce in there. You weren't married to.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: Her, were you? No, no, I wasn't married. But we
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: had a condo together.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Then it's basically divorce. You have to go through everything.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: We were both on a title, so we had to
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: deal a little out of it. I got him a
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: check to get out of it.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: What do you think that was about? They just never
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: liked you?
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: No, they just wanted everything of hers. You know what
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: I mean? All of a sudden, they wanted to be
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: in her life. All the designer stuff that she had.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: So they can go sell it on eBay.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: That's all they did. They came out of the woodwork. Yeah.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: I go, no, we want this. We want this.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: We want this.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: I'm like, look, I didn't fucking, you know.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: Jim's been through some things. Holy fuck. Which leads to
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: the shaman thing. I didn't know you saw a shaman.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: He makes fun of it. Which is fine and you should.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: But I want to get a couple like real. I
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: don't think his shaman is the same as your shaman.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: Yours might be a little budget shaman. Because I know
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: you're always trying to cut corners and stuff. And let
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: me tell you why I'm suspect to this. this.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Wait, my shaman? I'm going to tell you why you
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: cheaped out on the shaman.
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: Because first of all, all the shit that you're telling,
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: like he showed up and he told you what a
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: pre is with the feathers on the roof.
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: I didn't say that.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: But I'm just saying.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: It's funny, though.
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: No, he played the part.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: I'm a good poker player, right? So I know tells.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: When he first started saying stuff about the shamans, The
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: first thing I said to him was, how much did
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: you pay? And he goes, I don't know. Lindsay took
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: care of it. She did. I'm like, that is suspect. Like,
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: you want to know.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: If you're bringing some spiritual guy, what does it cost?
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: We're, well, more my wife than me, but we're deep
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: into the spiritual community. I'll tell you right now on
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: the Upper West Side.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: What is it? You go to Temple?
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: We don't go to Pure Yoga. We go to Down
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: and Dirty Yoga.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you go to a therapist in New
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: York City, they're probably, I don't know, the last time I,
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: but they're probably at least $ 250 for 45 minutes.
• 30:30
  Speaker 5: Easy.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: $ 250.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: So if you go twice a week, that's $ 500 a week.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: You know, you're talking for a month, $ 2, 000 a month.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: So my shaman was $ 350. And it was about an
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: hour and a half session, hour and a half, but
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: two hours.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Opie's was $ 25 and a high five.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: That sounds like a hand job.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: I want to say it was.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Like $ 200 to $ 250. Well, that $ 100 can make a difference.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: Hold on.
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: I'll text my wife.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: But that's not that bad, $ 350, because you're paying like
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: $ 250 for a therapy session.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: So what do shamans do? I'll listen now. I'll listen.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: Well, how much was the shaman's?
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Today no we.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: All got about the same rate about 350 or something
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: I went twice or.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: He came over twice and then I was like I
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: can't puke anymore did you like sniff shit No.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, no. You have a heroin dealer, too.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: I might have done heroin.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: I don't know. To this day, I don't know.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: You see, I knew. See, this is why I want
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: to hear Jim's story.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: Because I never did it before, so I don't know.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: I bet you Jim's.
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: Go ahead, Jim, please.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Because Opie's, whatever he's doing is a sham. Go ahead.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: I mean, he helped me. No, he really helped me.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, I didn't want to believe in all the
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: crazy shit he was saying and doing, but in general,
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: it got me to a place where he helped me
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: for sure figure shit out.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: I call Shama, it's about 1,000 hours of therapy in
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: one session. Like, you still have to do the work,
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: and you still have to get through it, but it's
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: basically like 1,000 hours of going to therapy, and you
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: get it pretty much in, like, one two-hour session with
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: a shaman.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: Well, back up a little bit, and, you know, out
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: of respect for you, because I've known you for a
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: long time, whatever you want to say and not say,
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: that's really up to you. I'm not pushing you on anything.
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: But what led you to the shaman that you can
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: say or want to say?
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, well, my ex-girlfriend passed away at the same
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: moment with the dog. She passed away, committed suicide. It
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: was fucking traumatic and stuff, and... You know, I was
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: in a bad place. I didn't know what the hell
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: to do, man. I'm like, you got to be, you know,
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: and then I'm dealing with her fucking family, you know,
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: basically accusing me.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: They're pinning it on you.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: Because whenever, whoever's the last person with the person, you know,
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: if you're the boyfriend or the husband or whatever, you know,
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: that's the way they do it.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: And there's not a person that knows Florentine that would
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: believe that you... It would lead someone to do that. No, no.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, look.
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: But still, in your head, when you're alone at night
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: and stuff, that shit's got to kind.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: Of fuck with your head.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it does. Because then you think, if I
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: was just there that night, then she wouldn't have done it.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: But then, meanwhile, she would have done it some other time.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter. If I was there that night, it
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: would have been the next night when I went to
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: go get milk or something. But you're playing with all that.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: It's so fucking crazy. So my friend Laura knew this
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: shaman guy. I guess a lot of comics used him.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: Like he used to go on the road with Bob
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Hope just to keep him like fucking, you know, together
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: and positive and all that stuff. Bob Hope, he used
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: to travel with Bob Hope for a long time.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: Where did he originate from, the shamans?
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: What nature is it? I think a Mexican or something
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: or American Indian. Like a Navajo Indian.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, yeah. The roots are in like Native Americans.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Native Americans, basically.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: And we're down there in South America.
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: So everything is very natural and organic and one with
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: nature kind of thing.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: So she tells me, go look, go see the shaman guy.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: He'll help you out.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: Can I stop you again, Florentino? I apologize. So what
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: were you trying to do before? Because it's almost like a...
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: a last-ditch effort to go to a shaman, I think.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: Because I've done therapy for, like, 10 years, and therapy
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: with me has certainly helped. But what other stuff were
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: you doing? And then you're like, man, I really need
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: something else here.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, I was going to, like, these support
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: group meetings for, like, survivors of suicide. So you're sitting
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: in there, and it's death, basically.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: You've got parents coming in that just lost, like, their 12-year-old. Oh.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? And I'm like two months in,
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: so I'm getting a little better. And then they're coming in.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: You're like, holy shit, because you know where they are.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: You know where you were. But how? I went right afterward,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: like a week after. I started looking it up, and
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: I went to some support groups. You find them online.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: Support groups are very.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: And I sat in there. We all talked. They're like, look.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: And at first, you're like, why are these people in
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: a good mood? How could they be laughing when they
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: lost their son or whatever? But as time goes on.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: You just learn to live with it. You never get
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: over it. But when you first go in there, you're like,
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: I can't. But they really talk to you and you
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: figure shit out. It's a good place to be because
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: nobody else can relate to a death like that. Your
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: friends can't. You don't know what to say. You're like, dude,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, man. But those people went through it, so
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: they know. So I was going through that, but I
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: was still fucked up. I still wanted to– I was
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: afraid to go on stage. I'm like, shit, people are
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: going to know everything, knew what happened and all this shit.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: So I was all fucked up. And I was going
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: to my therapist too. And my friend Laura– She recommended
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: the shaman. She knew this guy. She's like, well, my
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: family's been using him for years. Go see this guy.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, he's going to help you. Just go.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: You know, what do you got to lose at this point?
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: So he was in California at the time. So I
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: flew to California to see the dude.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, wow.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: I got on a flight, fucking booked it with him
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: and went out there, went to the guy, you know. And.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, I have to stop you again because you
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: hate everything. So what in your head said, I'm going
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: to have an open mind with the Sharma thing?
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: I had to because I was like, I got to figure,
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: I got to, you know. Something's wrong.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: Something's wrong.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: You know, between the therapy and the support groups, I'm like,
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: I'm in a fucked up place right now. You know,
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: I was probably 41, 42 at the time. You know,
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: it's about the time when you start to really try
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: to get your shit together.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: At that point, you're like, I got to get my
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: shit together. It's going to be fucking, you know. That's
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: what usually people start doing at late 30s, early 40s.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: Realize. So Laura's like, just give it a shot. I'm
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: telling you. What do you got to lose? Just fucking
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: fly out there and see. So I'm like, all right,
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: I'll give it a shot. Right. You know, so I
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: was up for anything at that point.
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: And, yeah.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm still thinking. I'm like, what am I doing?
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: The guy's in a condo in fucking L.A. or whatever.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: So I rent a car. I go there. I'm knocking
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: on the door. I'm like, I flew across the country
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: to see a fucking shot.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: You were hoping it would at least be in a tent.
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, what is going on?
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: Play the part at least.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: I'm in a fucking condo in L.A. I'm all the
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: way out here. To meet some fucking dude.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: At least build a mud hut in the backyard.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Let me go to fucking a mud hut.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: Something.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Jesus.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Let me go to Sedona, Arizona. Like, that's supposed to
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: be the place, the spiritual place. Then maybe, you know
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: what I mean? I'm like, all right.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: Rent the cave for an hour. Rent the cave. I
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: believe it's yours. I don't give a fuck.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Two miles from LAX in the fucking ghetto. You
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: know what I mean?
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: So I'm not going to do it. And the dude,
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: he was half Mexican, half American Indian, long hair, ponytail dude.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: He just had a massage table in his room. That
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: was it. Basically. I'm like, why? This is fucking weird.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: I would have ran out.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: I had the smoke bomb on the floor. Jason Bourne
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: out of there.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: But you know, my, I was, my friend, Laura knew
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: him for a while. So my heart, I get, and
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: he basically just fucking sat me down and he's just like, okay,
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: tell me what's going on. And I just said, look, man,
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: I just went through some shit. And you know, And
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: just talked me through it. And just massaging you two
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: at the same time. He's like, look, you've got a
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: lot of fucking rage and resentment in you and all
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: this shit. And, you know, the Catholic guilt growing up
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: and all that stuff. He goes, it's all this shit.
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: He goes, I can feel it in your back and
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: your legs, all that stuff. And then he basically just
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: went through it. He goes, all right. And I told him,
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: I said, look, my ex committed suicide. He's like, look,
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: this isn't, it's not your fault. I go, but it is.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: He goes, no, it's not. He goes, you know. And
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: he said to her, I remember, I forget, he goes,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: you were chapter three in her life. Chapter one was
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: the root of the problem. You weren't there for chapter one,
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: meaning when she was born.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: He goes, so you were just a chapter that came along.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: You can't blame yourself on this. And then he said,
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: she would have done this a long time ago if
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: she never met you. We were together for six years.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: She goes, you probably gave her the six best years
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: of her life. He goes, so she would have done
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: this at some point anyway. And if you didn't meet her,
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: she would have done it six years ago. So you
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: actually gave her six years. And it was so fucked
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: up because that's exactly what she wrote in her note,
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: her suicide note, that you gave me the best six
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: years of my life, and this isn't your fault. I
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: would have done this a long time ago. Like, word
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: for word.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: It still got to crush you, though.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: It was, but it was so weird and eerie that
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: the guy said the same exact thing that she wrote
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: to me in her note.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: Fuck.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? So it just fucking, when
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: I heard that and all that stuff, then it really
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: helped me. It fucking, you know, it probably pushed me
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: two years ahead of the grieving. Fuck.
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: Sorry, I gotta stop you here, because I want to
• 38:49
  Speaker 5: play this clip from Jim's self-written one-man show, I'm Your Savior.
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: I'll leave a link in the description. It's basically Florentine's
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: life story, and deals with his constant struggle of finding
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: himself with drama-causing women. It makes you laugh out loud,
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: and cry a little, too. As soon as my son
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: gets a little older, I'm gonna make him watch it.
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: Here's that clip.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you, man, you know what really helped me, man? Look,
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: I went to therapy, I went to suicide, uh... groups,
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: survivors of suicide. I went through everything, read every book
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: on suicide, depression, all that stuff, all that stuff to help.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: But I'll never forget about nine months into my morning,
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: my friend Laura told me about this guy named Gypsy.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: She goes, look, this guy's a spiritual healer. He's a shaman.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: Go see him. He's going to change your life. You
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: need to go see him. And you know what? I
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: was never into that new age shit. But when someone
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: takes someone from you that closely and you're blaming on God,
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: you know what? God did that to me. Fuck him.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: All right, I'll try to go. What's this guy going
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: to do? She goes, oh, look. He's going to massage
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: all the shitty feelings out of your body. And right away,
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: I'm like, whoa, I'm not getting a massage from a guy.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: But then I was thinking, what if he has some
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: cool wrestling pictures?
• 39:58
  Speaker 5: Do yourself a favor and check out the whole show,
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: I'm Your Savior. Links in the description.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: Go ahead, Greg.
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: Did he meditate after that?
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: A little meditation, but then he recommended a lot of books.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, a great fucking
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: therapy book, like a self-help book. And then The Power Now,
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: that's that Cartoli dude that Oprah used to always talk about, whatever,
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: just living in the moment and all this stuff. So
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: he goes, go read those books. Read every one. Go
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: back and get all the old catalog and just constantly
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: keep working on yourself. So he gave you basically homework
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: to do. Right. You know, but I walked out of it.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: I felt like a fucking million dollars. It was about
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: a month after my ex. You know what I mean? Like,
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: you just fucking massage. You know, you know when you
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: get an amazing massage and you feel fucking, well, that,
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: between that and then him talking to me and just,
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: you know, going through shit. He goes, look, all that
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: Catholic shit is all bullshit. You know what I mean?
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: I should have never felt, you know, because you feel guilty.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: You carry that fucking rage. And then you're angry because
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: I was angry. Like when I grew up Catholic, like
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I didn't jerk off until I was 21. I didn't
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: have sex until I was 18 because I really thought
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: I was going to burn in hell.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: Wait, you jerked off after you had sex?
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I jerked off after I had sex.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: You're a mess.