Latest / Groove with Portia / What Grief Really Looks Like: A Conversation with Lynn Lewis

Transcript

What Grief Really Looks Like: A Conversation with Lynn Lewis · Groove with Portia

0:06
Speaker 1: Welcome to Grow with Porsche, the podcast that uncovers the
0:09
Speaker 1: hidden treasures within grief. I'm your host, Porsche the Producer,
0:12
Speaker 1: and I'm inviting you to join me on a transformative
0:15
Speaker 1: journey where we were exchange laughter, of course the best
0:18
Speaker 1: medicine of them all, reflect on cherish memories, remember that
0:21
Speaker 1: time that the little boy grabbed my hand instead of
0:23
Speaker 1: his mother's at the amusement park yikes, And of course
0:26
Speaker 1: discover gratitude while navigating one of life's hardest challenges lost.
0:31
Speaker 1: So get ready to grow with me, Porsche the Producer,
0:34
Speaker 1: let's dive in. Hello everybody, welcome back to Grow with Porsche.
0:47
Speaker 1: I am your host, Porsche Booker. As always, everyone, don't
0:50
Speaker 1: forget to like, share and subscribe to keep it with
0:53
Speaker 1: the latest and greatest of all, with Grew with Porsche.
0:56
Speaker 1: So today, everybody, I have the honor of having grief
1:00
Speaker 1: educator and author Miss Lynn Lewis and those of you
1:04
Speaker 1: who have seen her, She's been on different shows that
1:06
Speaker 1: I've had the honor to produce, such as a Firm
1:09
Speaker 1: that somehow I thrive and also I see you with
1:12
Speaker 1: Carlos Sue and today me and Lynn are going to
1:15
Speaker 1: dive into the taboo topic of suicide because Lynn is
1:20
Speaker 1: one of those resilient warriors in this world who has
1:24
Speaker 1: unfortunately lost her son by means of suicide, but she
1:27
Speaker 1: has made the commitment to continue to live. So without
1:31
Speaker 1: further delay, welcome Lynn Lewis to GREUVI Porsha. Lynn, how
1:35
Speaker 1: are you today?
1:37
Speaker 2: I am well, Porscha. Thank you so much for having
1:40
Speaker 2: me on today.
1:42
Speaker 1: I know this was a long time coming, but as
1:45
Speaker 1: I always say, there is always a miracle or a
1:50
Speaker 1: present in the delayed gratification, right, So, Lynn, I always
1:56
Speaker 1: love to start off my conversations with gratitude. What are
1:59
Speaker 1: you grateful for today?
2:01
Speaker 2: I am grateful today for many things, but one I'll
2:05
Speaker 2: share and that is two weeks ago, I had the
2:10
Speaker 2: opportunity to celebrate my sixty sixth year of life, and
2:14
Speaker 2: I am a static I am. My mom died when
2:19
Speaker 2: she was fifty eight years old, and that was a
2:23
Speaker 2: rough year for me, the year that I was fifty eight.
2:26
Speaker 2: But I don't think I'll ever get too old to
2:29
Speaker 2: just celebrate a birthday.
2:32
Speaker 1: Well, Lynn, happy belated birthday to you. What a beautiful moment, right,
2:36
Speaker 1: Because I think we take so much for granted when
2:41
Speaker 1: we are in the very heavy, murky waters of our
2:45
Speaker 1: grief journey. And as I mentioned in the beginning, you
2:49
Speaker 1: lost your only son, Daniel by means of suicide. And
2:53
Speaker 1: I'm curious, Lynn, when you think of the word suicide,
2:58
Speaker 1: what was your definition of suicide before Daniel made his
3:03
Speaker 1: transition and how is how has that changed now?
3:07
Speaker 2: Good question. I'm not sure if what I'll say is
3:10
Speaker 2: the definition that I had, but I certainly had some thoughts,
3:15
Speaker 2: and it's the thoughts now the things that I say
3:19
Speaker 2: to people, please don't say that, such as if they
3:23
Speaker 2: want to do that, let them do that. That's selfish.
3:27
Speaker 2: Why would they do that to their loved ones? They
3:31
Speaker 2: could have talked it out. Why couldn't they have talked
3:33
Speaker 2: it out? Why couldn't they have done this? That and
3:36
Speaker 2: the other. But my whole attitude and posture has changed
3:41
Speaker 2: since August fourth of twenty nineteen. I know that my
3:46
Speaker 2: son loved us. I know that he know that he
3:50
Speaker 2: was loved, So that's definitely not the reason he did
3:55
Speaker 2: what he did. I still don't know why, but I
3:58
Speaker 2: know it's not those two things. I also now say
4:04
Speaker 2: that persons who make that final decision, I don't believe
4:08
Speaker 2: that they were selfish. I believe now that they were hurting,
4:13
Speaker 2: that they were in so much distress for whatever reason,
4:18
Speaker 2: that they thought, the only thing I can do to
4:22
Speaker 2: relieve myself of this pain and this comfort is to
4:27
Speaker 2: make that final decision. So that's really how my perspective
4:33
Speaker 2: had definitely changed.
4:35
Speaker 1: You know, Lenn, I'm glad you brought up that phrase
4:38
Speaker 1: that selfish, because I think there's this level of guilt
4:44
Speaker 1: that people have for not saying that this individual was
4:49
Speaker 1: the one who made the final decision this is what
4:52
Speaker 1: I want to do, and I know that it's not
4:55
Speaker 1: from a place of I want to die. Whatever that
4:58
Speaker 1: pain is that they are going through right that they
5:01
Speaker 1: don't feel a sense of safety or comfort in confiding
5:07
Speaker 1: in anybody. And so Lynn, I'm curious for you that
5:10
Speaker 1: phrase that selfish. I'm sure you were met with some
5:14
Speaker 1: of those platitudes, and I'm curious, now, how are you
5:19
Speaker 1: able to empower others who are walking this path of
5:23
Speaker 1: losing a child to suicide with those platitudes that people
5:27
Speaker 1: tend to say to them, And how are you able
5:30
Speaker 1: to empower them to not take that on and take
5:34
Speaker 1: that soul deeply to heart and recognize that this is
5:39
Speaker 1: other people's projection of the situation.
5:43
Speaker 2: So what I do, excuse me now several things is
5:47
Speaker 2: I encourage people to educate themselves. I encourage it, and
5:53
Speaker 2: I continue to educate myself as well. And whenever I
5:57
Speaker 2: learn something that I share with others. And one of
6:01
Speaker 2: the things that I have learned that when persons get
6:04
Speaker 2: to that point that it's something that has switched on
6:09
Speaker 2: or off in their brain, it's not about who they're leaving,
6:14
Speaker 2: it's not about who they love or don't love. It
6:18
Speaker 2: has gotten to that something has switched off or on
6:21
Speaker 2: in the brain. And I am not a doctor or
6:25
Speaker 2: a medical person, so I don't try to go into
6:28
Speaker 2: addressing that, but I do know that something has switched
6:33
Speaker 2: that they just say I can't I've got to go.
6:37
Speaker 2: And that's what I tell other people. And along with that,
6:41
Speaker 2: excuse me, when people are faced with those things, that's
6:46
Speaker 2: also when I get to share. You know, sometimes you
6:50
Speaker 2: have to change your circle. Sometimes you have to try
6:57
Speaker 2: to move away from. If you are where you can
7:00
Speaker 2: and move away from, and you can speak up. You
7:03
Speaker 2: have a voice, so you can speak back to that
7:07
Speaker 2: person that says, oh, they were selfish, You don't know
7:11
Speaker 2: that you have a voice. And I often tell people
7:14
Speaker 2: if you don't have a voice, I'll be your voice.
7:17
Speaker 2: I'll talk back. But that's really what I tried to
7:21
Speaker 2: share with persons.
7:23
Speaker 1: Now, Lyn, I'm glad that you brought up that assertiveness
7:28
Speaker 1: that tends to come during seasons of grief. And I
7:33
Speaker 1: know that during one of the interviews that you did
7:36
Speaker 1: on the affirm That Somehow I Thrive podcast, you talked
7:40
Speaker 1: about making that choice to live in Daniel's honor, and
7:44
Speaker 1: I'm curious, Lynn, what did it take for you to
7:49
Speaker 1: take that grief, that heartbreak, that confusion of losing your
7:55
Speaker 1: only son by suicide and really channel that, I'll commise
8:00
Speaker 1: it into saying I'm going to groove. I'm going to
8:04
Speaker 1: find my groove through this adverse circumstance. When was that
8:08
Speaker 1: turning point for you? Lynn?
8:11
Speaker 2: It's interesting it was only seven months after his death
8:15
Speaker 2: that I made that declaration to myself. And at the time,
8:21
Speaker 2: of course, seven months and I was probably still in shock,
8:25
Speaker 2: and of course a whole lots of things were going
8:27
Speaker 2: on in my mind. But I just remember exactly where
8:31
Speaker 2: I was and what day it was that I just said,
8:35
Speaker 2: you know what, I don't have to be consumed by this.
8:39
Speaker 2: It does not have to be my life, because it's
8:42
Speaker 2: going to be a part of my life for the
8:44
Speaker 2: rest of my life. And I made that declaration, but
8:48
Speaker 2: I had no idea what that would look like, how
8:51
Speaker 2: I would do it. I just made that declaration. And
8:56
Speaker 2: the way that I've been able to do it is
8:58
Speaker 2: keep reminding myself that I don't have to be consumed,
9:03
Speaker 2: reminding myself that I need to tell my story because
9:08
Speaker 2: it's going to help someone else. I need to tell
9:12
Speaker 2: my story because it does help me in my healing process.
9:16
Speaker 2: I need to tell my story because that is a
9:20
Speaker 2: way to honor the memory of my son, my one
9:24
Speaker 2: and only child. And I will say, and I want
9:28
Speaker 2: the audience to be very clear, it has not been
9:33
Speaker 2: a linear process at all. There have been many Actually
9:40
Speaker 2: this year so August of this year, twenty twenty five,
9:43
Speaker 2: will be six years And the beginning part of this
9:47
Speaker 2: year was one of the hardest few months that it
9:50
Speaker 2: has been. Same thing happened at year three. It was
9:55
Speaker 2: very difficult, even to the point that I thought I
9:59
Speaker 2: was pressed at one time. The sadness was so heavy.
10:03
Speaker 2: So but even during those times, those heavy times, I
10:08
Speaker 2: still am determined to push to push forward, and it's
10:13
Speaker 2: not with force, but it's just I got I'm doing this,
10:17
Speaker 2: I want to do this, and that's how I'm able
10:22
Speaker 2: to keep that declaration, stay true to that declaration that
10:28
Speaker 2: I made.
10:30
Speaker 1: And Lenn, I appreciate you sharing that because I know
10:34
Speaker 1: and as you mentioned, this road of walking the grief
10:38
Speaker 1: path when you lose someone who is so close to you,
10:41
Speaker 1: your only son, your sunshine right, and you're going through it,
10:47
Speaker 1: and sometimes you have those really good days we're able
10:49
Speaker 1: to smile and laugh with family members about things that
10:54
Speaker 1: Daniel said or some of his actions, and then other
10:57
Speaker 1: times you're completely depressed. And I'm curious, Linn, what was
11:03
Speaker 1: that road like for you and even till today, to
11:06
Speaker 1: work with the multitude of emotions, especially when Daniel's birthday
11:13
Speaker 1: or his transition anniversary comes along. What's your way of
11:17
Speaker 1: working with the sadness, the anger, maybe the hurt. How
11:22
Speaker 1: do you work with all of those emotions fighting for
11:25
Speaker 1: the center stage?
11:28
Speaker 2: Good question. I do want to say one thing. I
11:31
Speaker 2: don't get depressed. I get sad, but I don't get
11:35
Speaker 2: I haven't been clinically depressed. You know, I'm sad sometimes
11:39
Speaker 2: and all of those other things that you just mentioned,
11:43
Speaker 2: the anger, the embarrassment, the shame. They still come to
11:50
Speaker 2: the forefront on frequent were not frequent, but often, And
11:56
Speaker 2: so one thing that I've learned to do, and it
11:58
Speaker 2: works for me, I give them their space, but I
12:03
Speaker 2: give them boundaries. Okay today, but tomorrow you gotta go,
12:10
Speaker 2: you know. And I asked how I deal with myself,
12:13
Speaker 2: and I share that with other people. Don't necessarily try
12:17
Speaker 2: to fight them, but give them their space. I know,
12:20
Speaker 2: early on my journey, I said, it was felt like
12:25
Speaker 2: I was walking through the forest or through a jungle
12:29
Speaker 2: and never knowing when the lion was going to jump
12:33
Speaker 2: out in front of me. And I said, sometimes the lion,
12:37
Speaker 2: I know it's coming. I can feel it coming, so
12:41
Speaker 2: it's like, okay, you stay right there, I'm right here
12:43
Speaker 2: and we're going together. Other times the lion would jump
12:47
Speaker 2: in front of me boom and scare me. So that
12:51
Speaker 2: and that's for a few years, that's what it felt like.
12:53
Speaker 2: I was going through this jungle and I never knew
12:56
Speaker 2: when the lion was coming. But then there are times
12:59
Speaker 2: when we just walked the path together. So yeah, but
13:05
Speaker 2: given those emotions space because that's really what grief is.
13:09
Speaker 2: It's those emotions that we experience as the result of
13:14
Speaker 2: a loss, and so giving them their space. And for me,
13:18
Speaker 2: what I've found is the those emotions, those hard ones,
13:24
Speaker 2: they come less and less often as I've progressed through
13:29
Speaker 2: this journey, on this journey, but they still come. They
13:33
Speaker 2: still come. One hit me. Not Mother's Day, but it
13:38
Speaker 2: was the weekend after the Sunday, after that thing. It
13:42
Speaker 2: was a grief burst that lasted for twenty hours. It
13:46
Speaker 2: started it started at church around ten o'clock that morning,
13:51
Speaker 2: and I went to bed crying, and I have not
13:54
Speaker 2: went gone to bed crying for a long long time.
13:58
Speaker 2: But by the time I woke up, it was, you know,
14:01
Speaker 2: way way better. It was basically gone. So that's why
14:05
Speaker 2: I say they're coming. But yeah, we have our talks
14:11
Speaker 2: like okay, you can't stay.
14:14
Speaker 1: Like okay, anger you come, and I know you snuck
14:18
Speaker 1: in this house when I changed the locks the other day,
14:22
Speaker 1: and here you come, and here comes sadness and then
14:28
Speaker 1: anger sneaks through the back.
14:30
Speaker 2: Basically basically that's how it feels sometimes it really does.
14:34
Speaker 1: So and then I'm glad, first of all, you brought
14:38
Speaker 1: up that grief first, right, And I touched on this
14:42
Speaker 1: a lot that there tends to be a lot of
14:45
Speaker 1: stigma around tears and crying. And I don't know about you,
14:51
Speaker 1: but I know that when I've had those really really
14:54
Speaker 1: ugly cries, the ones where you can't breathe, the snot
14:58
Speaker 1: is just falling out of your oh, that you need
15:01
Speaker 1: that little thing that they use for babies to suck
15:03
Speaker 1: it out of the way. I know that I'm not
15:06
Speaker 1: snatching right. I need one of those, especially they need
15:11
Speaker 1: to Babe make one. And then maybe this is an
15:12
Speaker 1: idea for you to invent one in Daniel's honor for
15:16
Speaker 1: those of us who are grieving that the tears just
15:19
Speaker 1: can't stop. And I'm curious Lynn, for you, when you
15:23
Speaker 1: have those grief first have you made a better relationship
15:29
Speaker 1: with your tears or has it always been about the
15:32
Speaker 1: same since you were younger.
15:38
Speaker 2: Probably about the same, only because I cry easily. I've
15:43
Speaker 2: always been one that I can cry just thinking about
15:47
Speaker 2: something or I see someone else crying. I remember my
15:51
Speaker 2: sister said, don't sit beside her at a funeral because
15:54
Speaker 2: she's gonna cry. I cried weddings, I cried, movies. I cry,
16:01
Speaker 2: But what it has done, Porsche is since I've been
16:04
Speaker 2: on this specific grief journey is I've become okay with
16:10
Speaker 2: the tears. Because there was a point in my life
16:13
Speaker 2: that I felt some I felt bad about it, I
16:16
Speaker 2: felt some shame about why do I cry so easy?
16:21
Speaker 2: But now I don't. And someone posted something I think
16:25
Speaker 2: it was maybe it was yesterday, day before about now
16:29
Speaker 2: that they are at forty, that it seems like they're
16:33
Speaker 2: crying a lot more. But it's like cleansing and they've
16:36
Speaker 2: gotten to a point in their lives, like you know,
16:40
Speaker 2: I'm just it's a cleansing and just thinking about where
16:43
Speaker 2: they've come from and all of that, and so, yeah,
16:46
Speaker 2: I'm in a different relationship with my tears since then.
16:51
Speaker 1: And then, what can you say to our audience, because
16:55
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of people who still carry
16:58
Speaker 1: that shame more embarrassment about letting the tears out, because
17:04
Speaker 1: I know when my mom made her transition, it'd be
17:07
Speaker 1: three years this year in July, I know I could
17:10
Speaker 1: not cry. There was so much anger and hurt that
17:15
Speaker 1: the tears literally were coming out as a form of
17:18
Speaker 1: projection and not actually as physical. And then there was
17:22
Speaker 1: a part of me that wanted to hide that from
17:24
Speaker 1: the world, and so Lynn, how can you encourage our
17:27
Speaker 1: audience to allow themselves to be in that space and
17:32
Speaker 1: let the snot show rolls.
17:36
Speaker 2: Several things. Portion one is to be reminded that everybody's
17:43
Speaker 2: grief journey is different. It's personal. Regardless if it's for
17:48
Speaker 2: the same person, it's still personal. You know, if you
17:51
Speaker 2: have siblings, your journey, how you're dealing with your mom's
17:57
Speaker 2: transition is different from your siblings. If my husband deals
18:01
Speaker 2: with his grief different from mine. So that's the main
18:05
Speaker 2: thing to remember that your journey is your journey. And
18:09
Speaker 2: the second part is that crying is not a sign
18:15
Speaker 2: of weakness. Some people they say, well, I haven't cried
18:21
Speaker 2: my soul and so transition whenever, and I still haven't cried.
18:26
Speaker 2: I don't cry, okay, But then the person that cries
18:31
Speaker 2: every day that makes them feel like, WHOA, I shouldn't
18:35
Speaker 2: be crying. No, it doesn't. Again, everybody's journey is different.
18:40
Speaker 2: Everybody's relationship with the person that transition is different. So
18:46
Speaker 2: just like how you love them differently, you're going to
18:49
Speaker 2: grieve them differently. So it's okay, it's okay. And the
18:54
Speaker 2: other part I talk about tears is it's an outlet.
19:01
Speaker 2: It's just like when we have to blow our nose,
19:07
Speaker 2: you know, cleansing, you know, we use the bathroom cleansing,
19:14
Speaker 2: you know, So crying is a form of cleansing. And
19:19
Speaker 2: but yeah, just it's not a badge of honor because
19:23
Speaker 2: you haven't cried after someone passed away. And what you mentioned,
19:28
Speaker 2: Porsche is that you weren't able to, but but your
19:37
Speaker 2: emotions manifested otherwise. And so again, just because someone doesn't
19:44
Speaker 2: cry doesn't mean that they aren't grieving, And because they
19:49
Speaker 2: cry more often doesn't mean that they don't understand the
19:53
Speaker 2: person is gone and not coming back and all of that.
19:57
Speaker 2: So if we can just keep in mind, everybody's journey
20:01
Speaker 2: is different.
20:03
Speaker 1: And I appreciate that, Lynn, that reminder that, yes, the
20:07
Speaker 1: common denominator is the loss, whether it's our mother, our son,
20:14
Speaker 1: the dream job that we had, the friendship breakup, right,
20:18
Speaker 1: the common denominator is that loss. And at the same time,
20:22
Speaker 1: the experience is going to look different depending on how
20:26
Speaker 1: we've worked with our grief in the past. And Lynn,
20:29
Speaker 1: I'm curious you support others through their grief journey as
20:34
Speaker 1: a grief educator, whether you're doing summits or podcasts or
20:38
Speaker 1: doing things in person. I'm curious, Lynn, how do you
20:42
Speaker 1: find that balance for you of supporting others. You're pouring
20:48
Speaker 1: into them, giving of your energy to hold space when
20:52
Speaker 1: they want to talk about their loved one. They have
20:54
Speaker 1: a Daniel in their life, and how do you find
20:57
Speaker 1: that balance to also poor back into you. Because let's
21:02
Speaker 1: be realistic, it's like us as grievers. We know the
21:06
Speaker 1: loopholes and the heartbreak of feeling isolated and not supported
21:12
Speaker 1: by others, But at the same time we have to
21:15
Speaker 1: preserve ourselves too, So how do you find that balance? Lens?
21:19
Speaker 2: I practice self love unapologetically, and which means that I
21:25
Speaker 2: don't sacrifice myself anymore, my well being anymore for anyone else.
21:32
Speaker 2: I've come to understand that I'm not the person for everyone.
21:37
Speaker 2: But one of the main things that I do pusha
21:39
Speaker 2: is I space myself. I pace rather I pace myself
21:47
Speaker 2: for a couple of At some point any time I
21:51
Speaker 2: had an opportunity to be on a podcast, yes, yes, yes,
21:55
Speaker 2: but now it's once a week max too. If it's
22:00
Speaker 2: somebody that we just got to do, you know, it's
22:03
Speaker 2: once a week like this month I have three already,
22:07
Speaker 2: so the most I'll do again is one more, because,
22:12
Speaker 2: as you know, serving in this capacity and as a griever,
22:17
Speaker 2: it's hard, it can be hard work. So I will
22:23
Speaker 2: I will never back up, you know, interviews or coaching
22:29
Speaker 2: sessions back to back, I always you know, I have
22:32
Speaker 2: to learn that because you get I get passionate, and
22:36
Speaker 2: I want to help everybody. I've learned so I've self
22:40
Speaker 2: practiced self love unapologetically. I mean that I don't apologize
22:45
Speaker 2: for taking care of me and putting me first, because
22:48
Speaker 2: if I take care of me, then I can take
22:50
Speaker 2: care of you better. I've learned to say no no
22:55
Speaker 2: to opportunities or or think about it before I say
23:01
Speaker 2: yes or no. You know, is that am I in
23:05
Speaker 2: a position to serve that person or that organization? I'm well,
23:12
Speaker 2: it's are they serving me well? So I've learned to
23:16
Speaker 2: say no or to be slow to say yes, slower
23:19
Speaker 2: to say yes. Those are some of the things that
23:23
Speaker 2: have really helped me and helps me to keep my balance.
23:28
Speaker 1: Well, I think you brought it up too in the beginning, Linn,
23:31
Speaker 1: that you've become a boundaries Jedi. You were like, oh, nope, nope, nope,
23:36
Speaker 1: We're doing three podcast interviews this month, and that's about it,
23:40
Speaker 1: and that's good enough, right, and to really be able
23:43
Speaker 1: to pour into those individuals who you're coaching as they're
23:48
Speaker 1: moving with their grief or learning to integrate it into
23:51
Speaker 1: their every day So I really appreciate you sharing that, Linn. Linn, again,
23:57
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on the show. We're
23:59
Speaker 1: going to be rap here soon and I know that
24:02
Speaker 1: there's going to be individuals out there who want to
24:05
Speaker 1: connect with you, who want to get a copy of
24:07
Speaker 1: your book. How can they connect with you, Lynn? And
24:10
Speaker 1: also how can they get copies of your book?
24:13
Speaker 2: Thank you for asking. So several ways to connect with me.
24:17
Speaker 2: One is through my website, which is a long title
24:20
Speaker 2: but I love it, Destined to Thrive Griefcoaching dot com.
24:26
Speaker 2: It's destined to Thrive Griefcoaching dot com. So you can
24:31
Speaker 2: find both of my books on there. You can reach
24:34
Speaker 2: me on Instagram at Grief Coach Lynn, and I am
24:39
Speaker 2: also on LinkedIn and Facebook as Lynn Lewis, and I'm
24:45
Speaker 2: also on Facebook. I have a page destined to Thrive
24:49
Speaker 2: and on LinkedIn, I have a newsletter called Spilling the
24:54
Speaker 2: Tea on Grief. So those are ways that you can
24:58
Speaker 2: find me. The the journal. One of the books is
25:02
Speaker 2: a journal slash memory book that I created for geared
25:07
Speaker 2: toward the survivor of suicide laws, and you can get
25:10
Speaker 2: that on Amazon or you can go through my website
25:14
Speaker 2: to find it.
25:16
Speaker 1: Lynn, thank you so much. You know, I really appreciate
25:20
Speaker 1: again your patience. I'm glad that this was definitely worth
25:23
Speaker 1: the wait. Lynn, you have given us so many rich
25:27
Speaker 1: pieces of wisdom today. Number one, the reminder of setting boundaries.
25:32
Speaker 1: Number two, honoring your grief journey where you are right
25:36
Speaker 1: and not conforming to the societal narrative of what grief
25:40
Speaker 1: should look like right. And number three also honoring your
25:44
Speaker 1: person in your own unique way. Right. This would be
25:48
Speaker 1: Daniel's six year transition anniversary, and I appreciate you sharing
25:52
Speaker 1: that with us because I know that it's not always
25:54
Speaker 1: easy to talk about our person right, even even though
25:58
Speaker 1: we're three years and six years in, So I appreciate
26:01
Speaker 1: you sharing him with us today. Lynn. Before we conclude today,
26:06
Speaker 1: for our audience who's tuning in, if there's someone who
26:09
Speaker 1: is new on their grief journey and they want to
26:12
Speaker 1: know where to start, whether the emotions are fighting for center, stage,
26:17
Speaker 1: whether they are around the wrong people who are regurgitating
26:22
Speaker 1: the same platitudes to them, and they want to do
26:25
Speaker 1: their grief journey differently. What piece of wisdom can you
26:28
Speaker 1: lead with them today?
26:30
Speaker 2: Good question, And I forgot one other way to reach
26:33
Speaker 2: me is by destined to thrive at outlook dot com.
26:36
Speaker 2: That's the email destined to thrive at Outlook dot com.
26:40
Speaker 2: But for the person that's brand new to this unsolicited club, breathe,
26:48
Speaker 2: just stop and breathe, and remember that just as you
26:56
Speaker 2: loved your person, even if it's a career, but just
27:01
Speaker 2: as you pour it into and love that that person,
27:06
Speaker 2: that that thing, it's not it's different. It's totally different,
27:14
Speaker 2: but it's not does not mean that you can't move forward.
27:18
Speaker 2: Just take your time, Try not to compare yourself to
27:22
Speaker 2: anyone else, because that will just make you make you
27:30
Speaker 2: lose it. I don't know how else to say it,
27:33
Speaker 2: but just try not to compare, and then be okay
27:37
Speaker 2: with asking questions, be okay with looking for a therapist
27:43
Speaker 2: or coach or counselor maybe it's a clergy person, and
27:48
Speaker 2: it's okay to say no, it's okay to change your mind.
27:54
Speaker 2: So just it's but but first of all, just breathe.
27:57
Speaker 2: Just take time to just breathe.
28:01
Speaker 1: Lynn, you said it all, because I think that's a
28:03
Speaker 1: whole conversation for another day about remembering to breed, because
28:07
Speaker 1: I think we're holding on to so many emotions and
28:12
Speaker 1: thoughts that the breath is the last thing that we
28:15
Speaker 1: focus on. So I appreciate you reiterating that. Well, everybody,
28:21
Speaker 1: that was your grief educator, Lynn Lewis that you heard from.
28:26
Speaker 1: And that concludes another episode here on Grew with Porsche.
28:29
Speaker 1: Thanks for tuning in in everybody, and until next time
28:32
Speaker 1: piece and ha grease everyone.