Latest / Secrets They'll Only Tell a Matchmaker with Gina Hendrix / How to Spot a High-Value Man

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How to Spot a High-Value Man · Secrets They'll Only Tell a Matchmaker with Gina Hendrix

0:03
Welcome to Secrets. From a Billionaire's matchmaker
0:06
with matchmaker Gina Hendricks. Hey you guys, welcome to another
0:16
edition of Secrets from the Billionaire's Matchmaker.
0:20
I'm so glad you're here. Now you're going to hear things
0:24
that might sound like they've been.
0:25
Edited. You might be like, hey, what?
0:28
That sounds like it skipped a little or it.
0:30
Just doesn't quite make sense. Sometimes that happens around
0:33
here because these, what you're listening to, are very, very
0:37
special. Fly on the wall coaching
0:39
sessions that I've had with women over 4 years and we've
0:43
taken some of the best questions that I've gotten over this time.
0:46
And then we've edited parts just to make them more seamless and
0:50
also protect people's privacy. OK, That's what you do in the
0:53
matchmaking and coaching world is you write a fine line
0:56
protecting everyone's privacy while still giving you the
1:00
goods, giving you the goods, right?
1:02
So welcome, welcome. Let's get into it.
1:05
If you ever want to be on one of the lives and join me, you can
1:08
always e-mail us to get on the list Team Gina at
1:11
ginahendricks.com and of course, following me on the socials at
1:15
matchmaker Gina Hendrick. All right, let's do this, shall
1:18
we? Dating is tough for everybody,
1:20
and I'm helping you ramp up everything you're doing for
1:24
dating because I'm obsessed with it.
1:25
And yes, you would think I just want to talk about matchmaking,
1:29
but matchmaking is, you know, it's a, I only work with a
1:33
limited number of clients. And I think the matchmakers
1:36
really going to be intentional and focus on the quality of her
1:40
clients. Any matchmaker should work with
1:42
the only small pool of people. But that means the other side of
1:45
the coin is how you going to meet somebody outside of me?
1:48
Well, the dating apps, the dating apps, the dating apps is
1:51
actually how I got started. I mean, I've been obsessed with
1:55
the dating apps and I wanted to start my own dating app.
1:58
This is in the early 2000s. And I didn't because
2:02
procrastination and life. And then finally a friend said,
2:05
Gina, you've always been a great connector of people.
2:07
Why don't you think about being a traditional matchmaker?
2:09
And I was like, huh, OK, maybe. And I did it.
2:13
I literally took a leap of faith, quit my styling.
2:16
Yeah, I've been a, I've been a top celebrity stylist for 10
2:19
years. I literally sold all my wardrobe
2:22
stock. I turned down all the wardrobe
2:24
gigs. I literally burned that bridge
2:26
behind me. So there wasn't another option.
2:28
And I went all in with the matchmaking.
2:31
And I've hosted 2 radio shows, written several books at this
2:34
point. And and I just love to talk
2:36
about love and dating. But because you guys need
2:38
resources, it all routes back to the dating apps.
2:41
OK, Hey, there is unfortunately for you guys, there's no getting
2:43
around it. But fortunately you have me.
2:45
So I know everything there is to know because I'm obsessed still
2:48
with it. And how do how everybody can
2:51
increase their odds, increase their chances.
2:54
OK, Hey there. I already know you have a great
2:57
question for me. Yes.
2:59
Just a quick actually 2 questions.
3:01
One was when you mentioned, you know, when you part with
3:05
somebody and you feel like it's not a good fit and you kind of
3:08
let them know, hey, I don't think that there is a connection
3:10
like you, you say, I usually say, well, I just don't feel
3:12
it's a good fit. And sometimes in the past my, in
3:16
my past experience, they would say, well, can you tell me why
3:19
you know? And do you do it like in a text?
3:22
You know, if it's a few dates, like if it's really a few dates,
3:25
I may consider depending on the context of like responding in
3:29
the text 'cause I feel like it's less, you know, sort of direct
3:32
and less hurtful if you will. Yeah.
3:34
But sometimes you know, when you're like if if it if you had
3:39
a conversations with the person like any and you know, sometimes
3:43
they ask you like, oh, you know, can.
3:46
You tell me why, like, how do you how do you I can understand
3:49
that they'd be maybe curious to know more, but you don't owe
3:53
them anymore. And you're really setting
3:55
yourself up potentially to fall into a trap.
3:59
And you know, and I feel like it's also manipulating you a
4:04
little bit because you've already done your part.
4:06
You told them, you know, this wasn't a fit, that that should
4:09
be good enough. You know, they should respect
4:11
like that. If I were you, I would just
4:13
stick to well, I'm sure you've felt that way about people in
4:16
the pet, because I know they have.
4:18
I'm sure you felt that way about people in the past.
4:20
It's just something where you just don't feel it's the right
4:22
connection and I do wish the best and it and say I do wish
4:26
you the best. That is it.
4:27
If they come back with more shit, you just block them more.
4:31
I mean, I years ago, my God, you guys, how do I get myself into
4:35
this stuff? But this was years and years and
4:37
years ago. Maybe even let me think about
4:40
this, maybe 10 years ago, maybe more at 12.
4:44
Anyway, there's this man and I I met him at like different
4:46
events. He was all he came to a lot of
4:48
my singles events when I was first starting my matchmaking
4:50
and done it up and he asked me out and I thought, I don't know
4:54
that I'm not interested in this guy, but I should practice what
4:56
I preach. So I did.
4:57
I went out with him, you know, keep in mind, I didn't want to
5:00
go out with him. Keep in mind he picked the
5:03
restaurant. I didn't even pick.
5:05
He picked an Italian restaurant. OK, fine, fine, all good.
5:07
So we go on the date and he literally was like repeating
5:12
everything back to me, like agreeing with everything I said,
5:16
like he had no opinions he had. I was just like kill me now, OK
5:19
anyway. And it was not a match.
5:21
And so afterwards he, you know, I think I sent him the
5:25
obligatory, you know, thanks to I had a really good time.
5:28
I don't feel like this is the right match.
5:30
And and he said, can you please tell me more?
5:35
So me being a matchmaker, I thought, well, he's asking me
5:38
because I'm a matchmaker for like, for help.
5:41
And and I actually kind of said what I just told you guys like
5:45
you repeated everything. You didn't really have opinions
5:47
of your own. Oh my Lord, he sent me what
5:51
looked like the like Unabomber manifesto, like I mean, and
5:56
telling me about what was wrong with me and I mean, ripping me
5:59
to shreds and I mean going on and on and on and on.
6:04
I, it was so frightening. I sent it to my guy friend and
6:07
he was like, Oh my God. And and then he asked for his
6:10
money back on my dinner. And then he had a woman call me
6:14
about a week later saying, you know, you were really just using
6:17
him for a meal. Can you please give him his
6:19
money? I mean, Oh my God.
6:21
So do you see how I have PTSD by that?
6:23
But like so. So if they ask you, it is none
6:26
of their business. Don't open the rabbit hole.
6:28
You just didn't get the right vibe in the story.
6:31
There you go. OK.
6:32
Thank you. Thank you.
6:33
Thank. You so.
6:35
Much. It's a funny story, but what a
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great lesson I mean. Lord yes, so I never.
6:40
Never. Fell into that trap again.
6:42
You're up to bat, girl. Hi.
6:44
Hi. And I said, there's a guy who's
6:47
just slow on the burn. You know, as far as he's, I know
6:51
he's been quite busy with we've been three days, but I didn't
6:57
want to take a date from him at the last minute.
7:00
Like it was like, oh, Saturday he finally is texting me.
7:03
Bob was a little he's a little bit slow, like, but he follows,
7:07
he's following the playbook in a way.
7:10
You know, he's like, all right, I'll, I'll text you when I'm
7:14
heading back on Sunday. And so Sunday turned into it was
7:18
late and all he wanted to do was just jump in his hot tub because
7:21
he's sold his house, his big house, which was very nice.
7:25
And he's going to be going through one month of getting out
7:29
of his big house. And he's like, oh, I thought
7:32
maybe we could use the hot tub. I'm really tired.
7:35
We can have martinis. And I was just like, I don't, I
7:38
said it's a little early in our relationship to be like wet, hot
7:42
and in a in. A hot tub.
7:44
Like in a hot tub. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:46
So he's like, nothing's going to happen.
7:48
And I'm like, I believe him. I, I do.
7:51
He hasn't been inappropriate. But I said he's like, well,
7:54
maybe before the month's up, you know, we can get together in the
7:57
hot tub still, you know, and I'm like, I just declined.
8:02
I said. So I, I don't know, like doing
8:05
something like that as 1/4 date or whatever I'm like.
8:10
It's tough. I think.
8:11
I think some women would do it and be comfortable with it.
8:14
I think for me, it, and I guess if we're all going to be honest,
8:18
we're all going to be totally honest.
8:19
It probably depends on how how attracted and crazy we are about
8:23
the guy. You know what I mean?
8:24
Like if it was like George Clooney or something, we'd be
8:26
like, OK, let's get that. That was my beauties.
8:29
Yeah. But and.
8:30
I. And I would have gone, I would
8:32
have, but I was just trying to be a little bit more.
8:35
No, and I agree. I mean, I do think so.
8:37
I see everything. I don't see everything.
8:38
I don't see it anything from one perspective.
8:42
You know, I see it from a lot of different perspectives.
8:44
And yeah, I mean, I absolutely think that you getting in the
8:47
hot, that one. That's my point.
8:48
You know, if it was like somebody you were really, really
8:50
into and not us, you wouldn't mind maybe make it out a little.
8:54
More or whatever. But I do think this is that
8:58
context of the hot tub, martinis, bikinis and all that
9:01
is going to set you up. To.
9:04
Be put in a position that might be awkward.
9:07
Yes, I thought so and I felt like teasing him.
9:10
Later going. I was more concerned about his,
9:14
you know, safety because I go he is an attractive guy.
9:18
Oh, I see. He's got a good body and
9:21
everything. I'm like, you know, I could
9:23
easily slip into that mode and I go, I didn't trust myself, you
9:27
know, so. Oh my.
9:29
But I said, but I said no, but we really haven't gotten to know
9:33
each other too well. So I said that's that's later,
9:37
later. But I, I just figured I'd go,
9:39
yeah, what do you do when they it's like, I was like, all
9:42
right, I'd rather do a date date.
9:44
But I wasn't too sure if I was, you know, cutting him off, you
9:48
know, No, I. Think you offered an alternative
9:50
you know. Yes, I did.
9:51
That's funny. Yeah, and then he did get home
9:54
and he was just too tired to do anything, and I can understand
9:57
that. Next question.
9:59
Who's got the next question for me?
10:01
All right. You had a really good question.
10:04
What do you think is like appropriate first date
10:07
conversation? Can it ever go too deep?
10:10
Or should it be? Relatively surface level or what
10:13
are your thoughts on that? I love that question.
10:16
Thank you. So I think I think you know, and
10:19
so so funny, I was actually having this discussion with
10:22
somebody last night about that. I I think on the one hand, you
10:26
never want to make it like it's a dateline interview, right?
10:28
Like, you know, and you've got the mic right in front of their
10:31
face and or you've got the spotlight on them and you must
10:34
tell me the truth. You know, I, I, you don't want
10:36
to make it like that. But at the same time, I do think
10:40
there's something to be said. Rather than ask frivolous
10:44
things, you can certainly position things of more
10:48
seriousness in depth and throw that in for sure.
10:51
Let me see, I was just pull. I was just working on some
10:53
questions this morning. I was like Googling and looking
10:56
up different things. So here's some good questions I
10:59
thought was good. What's a decision you've made
11:02
that completely changed the direction of your life?
11:05
I thought that was great. What's the best advice you've
11:07
ever received about successor happiness?
11:10
If you could spend a year mastering something completely
11:13
new, what would it be and why? Let's see, what else did I like
11:16
here? What's something you've built,
11:18
whether in your career, relationships, or personal life
11:21
that you're really proud of? I think, I think you can spend a
11:25
little time and I'm going to try to actually put together a list
11:29
as well of questions that are more of depth.
11:32
So that it's it's, it makes them go wow and, and be a little more
11:36
introspective, while at the same time also kind of being a little
11:41
fun and intriguing rather than just the basic.
11:45
Because again, everything I'm teaching you guys here is all.
11:48
About how to not. Be basic.
11:51
Basically, you know, you don't want basic men, so if you don't
11:54
want to be basic men, you can't be basic women, right?
11:56
Exceptional women, exceptional men.
11:58
That's what we're going for. So I think thinking outside the
12:01
box with these questions actually would be super helpful.
12:05
OK, now I'm going to dive in really deeply here.
12:08
So listen up. If you're new to the dating
12:10
apps, if you've never been on the dating apps, if you think
12:14
you know what you're doing on the dating apps, be prepared to
12:16
be surprised. I'm somewhat of a little expert
12:19
on this subject. I've had my own dating app and I
12:22
love it as a resource, but if you don't know what you're doing
12:26
is not going to help you. So we're going to do a little
12:28
bit of a deep dive and my go TOS are Bumble and Hinge.
12:31
I get that question quite a bit, but I look at it like you want
12:35
to be at the party with the most people, right?
12:38
Good and bad, always good and bad.
12:40
It's a mix of the real world, but if you know what you're
12:43
doing, that will change the game, so listen closely.
12:46
What I'm finding I'm challenged by with Hinge in general.
12:49
They serve me up men and all there is is there's an X either
12:52
IX them out or I have to comment on them to like somehow make a
12:58
connection. Am I?
12:59
Is anybody following what I'm saying?
13:00
I'm just highly confused. So, OK, so on Hinge, you see
13:04
those little icons across the bottom and then you see the
13:08
heart. Specifically, I want you to look
13:09
at the heart. And the heart gives you a number
13:12
of noted like 5 notifications, 27, whatever it is.
13:16
So then you tap on the heart and now you see one guy clearly.
13:19
OK, if you try to see the guys below him, they're all blurred
13:22
out. You can't see them.
13:23
So what Hinge does is and they don't make it clear because
13:27
they're tricking you to try to get you to pay and it kind of
13:29
sucks, but essentially you have to make a decision to the guy
13:33
who you could see clearly before the the guy below him becomes
13:38
unblurred. OK, so there's that.
13:40
So you see the first guy and if the first guy just gave a like
13:45
or a rose, in my opinion, that's not good enough.
13:49
And so you would X him out. OK, now let's pretend.
13:52
The next guy below him has like actually made a comment.
13:56
Oh, you seem so lovely. I gosh.
13:59
How did how did I get so lucky to connect with you whatever and
14:02
then you have a choice about this guy.
14:04
You can see his full profile, but you can either X or you can
14:08
click the chat thing. OK, when you click the chat
14:11
bubble, when you click the chat bubble then it shows you another
14:15
option that says match. You don't have to.
14:18
Write anything at all. You just hit match and now he
14:22
gets it that now you've matched with him.
14:25
So now he can then come back with more effort.
14:27
You could you could just simply say, oh, thanks for the thanks
14:30
for the compliments, John, I'm glad we connected and then boom,
14:33
match with him. Do you see what I mean?
14:35
Got it. I don't think I realized that
14:37
there's a match button because all I ever saw was you click on
14:40
like one of their little things and you it says send a
14:44
compliment or send a comment and then send a like.
14:47
And I'm like, what is this? Why do I got to send a comment
14:50
every time? So.
14:50
I was just on there this morning and and again if a guy has.
14:55
We only. Care about those who've actually
14:57
cared enough to write something. So if you're interested, you
15:01
click that chat bubble thing and then it says, you know, like
15:05
match. With them or whatever you could,
15:07
you could at. Least acknowledge his words.
15:09
I mean, that's appropriate, but you don't, you know.
15:11
Thanks, John. Oh, you.
15:13
Know thanks for the nice words. Nice to meet you.
15:16
Boom. And that's it.
15:17
And then now it's in play, you know what I mean?
15:21
OK, all right, I'll keep playing with but yes, I follow you.
15:24
I just I don't know if I saw that that match button thing.
15:28
OK, and then I think the only other one would be for Bumble
15:31
like which I never I'm not on as much as I'm I feel like I'm on
15:36
Hinge anyway, but but I am on there.
15:39
So when when I start doing all my things?
15:42
Then we'll pay more attention to it.
15:43
But I think like I think I'd, I was testing it and then I was
15:47
like, oh, you click if you if, if somebody likes you, you click
15:51
the air, the check mark and then it says you're matched.
15:55
And then you wait to see if they extend the time because it like
15:59
you don't do anything, OK. Yes, on Bumble, yes, extend the
16:03
time or now they can ask you an actual question separate from
16:08
extending the time. And I consider both of these
16:11
things effort. OK, OK, got it.
16:13
Yeah, So Bumble interface is a little bit easier.
16:15
I just have to click the check. I agree, Bumbles interface is
16:18
easier for sure. OK.
16:20
All right. Thanks. 100% sure.
16:22
So ladies, when it comes to what I like to call your marketing
16:26
campaign for dating, which is, you know, dressing to call in
16:31
the men you want, you know, I'm very picky on your behalf,
16:34
right? Because I, I just don't want you
16:36
guys to continue to show up with photos that call in the wrong
16:41
men. And keep in mind, even when you
16:43
level up your look and create the marketing campaign for
16:46
dating, which is what I specialize in, even when you do
16:48
that, sure, there's going to be those low level losers that will
16:51
show up and still try to take their shot.
16:54
So what they're going to do, and this is how you're going to know
16:56
is these are the guys that are testing your boundaries.
16:59
OK, so let's get into that now. It's a fine line between I want
17:03
you ladies to look sexy, sophisticated and elevated, but
17:08
never like thirst trapping like you know.
17:12
So if we're going to show legs, we don't want to show too much
17:15
cleavage. In fact, I would prefer never to
17:17
show too much but but you also don't want it all the way up to
17:20
your neck either. A little chest is fine.
17:23
And if they want to then read into it and they come with some
17:27
inappropriate, rude, uncouth remarks, then goodbye to you,
17:32
Sir. Here is the door.
17:34
Boom. And you kick them out.
17:35
You know what I mean? Also, you know, I find that.
17:39
When women tell me. That like, guys have been
17:42
scammers or just, you know, they just don't have the right
17:47
intentions. A lot of times it's because
17:49
women don't have their photos elevated to where it needs to
17:51
be. And when you don't, then those
17:54
guys. That have.
17:56
Bad intentions. Let's say they're.
17:58
They're more. They're going to be more.
17:59
Attracted to the women who look like they, they don't have a
18:02
clue in their pictures, just like, just like women who are up
18:06
to no good on the apps, They're going to come for those men who
18:09
also don't look like they have a clue.
18:11
And their agenda is money opportunity.
18:14
And they know that, oh, this person doesn't really know how
18:18
to take good pictures. This person looks a little
18:20
clueless about dating and how to level themselves up.
18:24
And so they know if they come in and sprinkle a few compliments
18:27
on and women do it to men and men do it to women, that that
18:30
person is going to be receptive, adaptive to the attention
18:33
they're giving them. So just, you know, once we level
18:36
you up, then those guys are not going to be messing with you.
18:39
If if you look like you know you're, you're somebody.
18:42
Who knows what's going on? And if they do show up and
18:45
they're like trying to like, you know, they're testing you when
18:48
they do that stuff, they're absolutely testing you to see
18:52
where are her boundaries. And if you don't have any
18:54
boundaries and you play along, they're going to hit the gas and
18:57
it's going to get, they're going to escalate with this stuff, you
19:00
know what I mean? So, so always keep your
19:02
boundaries in intact and don't feel like you have to play along
19:06
with it, OK? There's going to be those men
19:09
who are just testing your boundaries.
19:12
That's what they're doing. That's what they're doing.
19:15
And you might do nothing to provoke them, you know, so, but
19:18
they're testing you. They're testing.
19:19
The waters there. Next question.
19:21
Who's got something for me? I can't get a Google Voice
19:24
number because of a work situation that overlaps with
19:27
Google Voice. Yeah, because if you have one
19:30
already, you can't get another one on the same phone number and
19:34
so. Well, but you can get it with a
19:35
different e-mail. I've I've been around the barn
19:39
about this. I'll try again, but I haven't.
19:41
Yeah, I have been in mortal mortal battle with Google Voice
19:46
trying to get a number. And I yeah, I.
19:48
Can't get a second one. I will try that because I have
19:51
one through my team Gina for like our business stuff.
19:56
I wonder I should try it through Gina Hendricks and see that's
19:59
interesting. I'll, I'll see.
20:01
But yes, go on with your your situation.
20:03
To yeah, to be able to get that anyway.
20:06
OK, so showed effort. We did.
20:08
We, it turned out to because I didn't want to give a number, he
20:10
set up a Google Meet, which I thought was he was like reading
20:13
the cues that I wasn't going to give him my number.
20:15
Yeah. So he set up a Google Meet,
20:17
which I thought was nice. He's a nice looking man.
20:19
He's 5 foot 4, which is the same height as me, which isn't a deal
20:24
breaker for me because I think he's nice looking.
20:28
And he said, you know, are there some places you've never been
20:32
you'd like to go? I threw out a few.
20:35
I did not throw out expensive ones.
20:37
So I said, I live in this green. There's a carousel I've always
20:40
wanted to go to, and there was an exhibit that's a gallery you
20:43
can just walk in. And he picked the carousel,
20:46
which I thought was the romantic choice.
20:50
You mean like a merry go round thing?
20:51
Yeah, like a merry go round. But it's it's a especially
20:55
beautiful one in lower Manhattan.
20:57
Yes. So kind of a romantic choice, I
20:59
thought, yeah. And then we walked up to the
21:02
village and ate in a vegetarian restaurant.
21:05
Turns out we're both vegetarian. I had a really nice time.
21:08
The only I would say yeah, I'm. I've got my eye on whether his
21:12
financial situation he's he works in a as a surgical tech.
21:17
So in New York City in the nursing range, you can make good
21:21
money, but I have my eye on that and but it was the date was a
21:27
little bit towards over disclosing for his part.
21:29
He the man was like, how are you single?
21:32
You really are amazing points for that because, you know, it
21:39
wasn't like you didn't feel like he was blowing smoke.
21:41
He really felt sincere. He was like, I don't know how to
21:43
ask you this exactly, but like, how are you still single?
21:46
I was like, nice has been showing up.
21:48
Like how was your day? Asked to read a book to follow
21:52
up on one of the things we were talking about.
21:54
So I don't see any red flags here except a little bit of
21:57
like, you know, a little more than his life story then maybe I
22:02
I think he was nervous. Yeah, I.
22:04
Wouldn't just typically go that far into my life history in a
22:07
first date, you know? Yeah, I mean, I think that, you
22:10
know, with a lot of shorter guys, they don't get up to bat
22:12
that often. And you know, and I'm lucky I
22:15
don't. I've never minded.
22:17
Like, I mean, I don't know if I've ever gone out.
22:19
I don't know if I've gone out with a short guy in a while,
22:24
but, but I think I, I like shorter guys.
22:28
I'd take a shorter guy that's more about my eye than a super
22:32
tall guy any day. But that's me.
22:34
And I'm very unusual that way because my very first boyfriend
22:36
was short. But that's that's good because a
22:39
lot of these guys are really good guys.
22:42
I think they work harder in the bedroom, I think.
22:45
Yeah, I think you think they're really, you know, you know, so
22:49
grateful that I think, you know, I think I think it's a better,
22:53
better play. Quite frank.
22:55
Oh, he wants to go slow. He's been intentionally single,
22:58
he said. Celibate for three years and
23:00
wants to go slow so I don't. Guess why?
23:03
He said his life was a mess and he really wanted to work on
23:05
himself. He went into therapy.
23:07
He stopped drinking, which I'm a non drinker, so that's a fit for
23:10
me. Wow.
23:11
Yeah. Like he, those are big boxes for
23:14
me and he's done some work on himself.
23:17
I want that. That's a top of my list.
23:19
And so he spent the last three years doing that.
23:21
And honestly, it sounded like he wasn't just saying it because
23:23
men will. You know.
23:26
OK, you're next. What you got for me?
23:28
Well, I was going through your material again and I and I got
23:33
from what I got, it was actually a phone call.
23:35
So I did my first phone call, right.
23:37
So I just wanted to clarify, the first one is actual phone call,
23:41
not a video call, right? Phone call?
23:43
Absolutely. OK.
23:44
Because that's a lot of effort to like get already end your
23:48
video call. Here's the other thing I say.
23:50
I mean, I think that if you're somebody that runs into actually
23:54
that just that reminds me to tell somebody else's that.
23:57
I think if you run into situations where you end up
24:00
meeting these guys in person and you're like, oh, I didn't like
24:03
them, then go to the video call. But I do think if there's no
24:06
distance, like if they're in your town, the call went well,
24:11
you guys should just meet and you're confident.
24:13
With. These pictures a date is
24:15
preferable, but if you have any additional concerns or there's
24:20
long distance like where you're not going to meet with him for a
24:22
while, then I would go to the video.
24:25
OK. OK.
24:27
Yes, and then? How did the call go?
24:30
It actually went really well, which brings me to my second
24:33
question. So he's not like physically,
24:37
like, I mean, he's not ugly, but he's not my type, but I was.
24:40
Wondering the guy from yesterday, right?
24:42
Was it the guy from yesterday? The.
24:43
Blonde guy, tall blonde guy that Yeah, so we had a really great
24:47
conversation, but I can just tell like, you know, we're just
24:52
not a match and he is coming in hot or however, whatever your
24:57
terminology. Is and he even this?
25:00
Morning he sent me a follow up text, you know, and just as
25:03
wanting to get to know me but I just know just in my knowingness
25:08
he's not the. How long?
25:11
Do you carry on for training purposes?
25:14
You don't, you don't. And why do you think he's not
25:17
for you? When he was talking about he
25:20
went to Emeril's restaurant in Las Vegas and he was treating
25:23
himself. And I thought, OK, well, he's
25:26
obviously really watching his money if he thinks, you know
25:30
what I mean? And then I've told you about the
25:33
Breakers Hotel, which is a historic hotel that was bought
25:36
by the Fairmont and they renovated it.
25:38
And I've never been to the Sky Room, and I've always wanted to
25:41
go. And when I was talking to him
25:43
about that, he's like, well, yeah.
25:45
You know, if you go, it's about if you go with your girlfriend
25:48
or me or your kids, it's about the company, not the place.
25:51
And I'm thinking, OK, is this another, you know, reading
25:54
between the lights? Because it's the Fairmont and
25:57
it's extensive, you know what I mean?
25:59
Yeah, I think so. I think what you tell him is you
26:02
text him back and you say, hey, it was really great getting to
26:04
know you. But you know, I don't really
26:06
feel like this is the connection I'm looking for.
26:09
OK, OK. You know, this is all about
26:13
learning to not waste so much time.
26:16
You know, it's a fine line because I think some women kick
26:19
men to the curb where I think, oh, well, let's explore this
26:21
more. And then there's times where,
26:24
you know, I think you guys go all in on a guy where I'm like,
26:26
oh, let's kick him to the curb. It's it's a fine line.
26:28
I think when in doubt before kicking him to the curb, unless
26:32
it's just obvious. But if you feel like, I don't
26:35
know, do a call. And on the call is really where
26:38
you're going to be making the decision.
26:39
The video call, you mean like no?
26:41
This is the actual phone phone call.
26:42
Oh, OK. On a phone call should be enough
26:45
to tell you whether you're interested in this guy to want
26:48
to move forward or it's done. OK.
26:51
OK. Yeah, sounds good.
26:52
Thank you. Sure, you're welcome.
26:54
So now we're going to get into another important topic.
26:58
What if your divorce isn't finalized?
27:00
And what are the important things to put on your dating
27:03
profile? Do you have any advice if your
27:07
current divorce is taking forever due to the amount of
27:10
assets? If it's a complicated.
27:11
Divorce. Something like that.
27:14
I think there are those people who do not want to date somebody
27:17
who's not legally divorced. And you never want to act like
27:20
you are legally divorced if you're not, OK.
27:22
But I think I think being transparent about the situation,
27:25
I think if you're on the dating app, OK, here's what I would do
27:27
because of the dating app, you can't have separated, right?
27:30
At least I maybe on some, but not really the ones I deal with
27:33
very much. So I would then say, and we're
27:35
going to fudge the truth a little bit.
27:37
I would say divorced. OK, But then in your bio, just
27:41
like, oh, just like when you ramp up your photos in the bio,
27:44
you want to put photos or new as of December 2023, January 20.
27:49
That's super important because if you look great in your
27:51
photos, people are going to wonder if it's real or not.
27:53
Same thing with like any important information.
27:55
So if it's divorce not quite finalized, you know, that's such
28:00
a fine line. If you want to be hardcore and
28:03
really filter people out so that you're not even talking to them
28:06
or you're not wasting any time, then you can be hardcore and put
28:09
some sort of line like divorce, not finalized, but in the, you
28:12
know, in the final processes or, or something.
28:15
There's verbiage that you could put so that you're being honest,
28:18
but you're also letting him know like we're in the final stages
28:21
and people will feel good about somebody being transparent like
28:23
that. And again, you'll weed out those
28:25
people who don't want no part of it.
28:27
But I think it's good. I think you guys go on to the
28:29
dating apps thinking that you have to attract everybody and
28:33
you get nervous to like say things in your bio that's going
28:37
to turn anybody off. But that's the opposite of what
28:40
you should be doing. You should be as specific as you
28:42
can be in your bio because you don't need everybody coming at
28:46
you. You just want those people
28:48
coming at you that are going to resonate with who you are.
28:51
Have great pictures and then be very specific in your bio
28:54
because nobody's looking out for you on the.
28:56
Dating apps except you. And there really are no proper
28:59
filters for a lot of these things except if you're going to
29:02
write it and spell it out. I'm looking to get married.
29:04
I want to start a family. My divorce isn't finalized but
29:07
it will be soon. Now, when it comes to health
29:10
issues, I wouldn't put any of that in the bio.
29:13
I wouldn't tell anybody that I have seen people who have
29:17
disabilities and they're in like a wheelchair or something and
29:21
they do, they don't write it in the bio, but they do work it
29:24
into their photos and it in a very subtle way.
29:27
It's not obvious and you kind of have to look hard.
29:29
But you know, I think that is something that you definitely
29:33
need to let somebody know about. If you're if you have something
29:36
obvious where when you meet them, you're going to know they
29:38
have a health challenge, you're going to know that they're in a
29:40
wheelchair. Yeah, you got to get that out of
29:42
the way upfront. But if it's something like you
29:45
have Lyme's disease or Crohn's or something like that, that
29:48
they're not going to know about, there's no reason to tell
29:51
anybody that kind of stuff until you even know if you really like
29:54
them or not. And that's going to be, I don't
29:56
know, three dates in at minimum. And I gave you a lot of extra
30:00
info there, so. OK.
30:02
OK ladies, I know that a lot of you ladies struggle with
30:05
somebody image issues, whether it's photos for my database for
30:11
matchmaking or whether it's on the dating app so.
30:14
I want to give you. Some of my very best advice from
30:16
not only being a former fashion stylist, but also seeing how men
30:21
judge and look at profiles. Hi, Gina.
30:24
Any advice for plus size women? I mean, I think first of all,
30:27
you don't want to hide your body.
30:29
I think, you know, I think you want to be comfortable in your
30:32
own skin and you want to cause men know if you're doing all
30:36
photos where it's just like this, they know that you're
30:39
hiding something and you don't want to do that because one,
30:42
you're going to attract those guys that go, oh, something's
30:45
wrong with her body or she doesn't feel good about herself.
30:48
How about that? She doesn't feel good about
30:49
herself. She thinks something's wrong
30:50
with her body. And then you're going to attract
30:52
those like guys that just want to use you and abuse you because
30:55
they know they can. OK.
30:57
And then, but then if you show your body, then you're just
31:00
going to be attracting those guys that that go, oh, she's
31:02
curvy and gorgeous. And I want to.
31:04
Date her. So I think you need to be
31:06
exactly who you are, but you need to feel good about it.
31:08
And so you want to show your body, but you want to be dressed
31:12
the right way. You don't want to be.
31:14
I see people in sloppy T-shirts like they're going to shop at
31:16
Walmart or blah, blah, blah. And that's for any size person.
31:19
That's for any age person. But I think, I think also as we
31:23
get older and I think the more we can step up our game in our
31:27
style, it makes this more attractive, whatever size we
31:30
are. So ladies, there's a lot of
31:33
confusion out there and a lot of noise about how to discern
31:40
between a high value guy. And.
31:43
Spotting a low value guy. And I think sometimes.
31:46
Again, this is where it can. It can be.
31:49
Blurry the roads. Kind of meld together because
31:52
some people rule people out too quickly, some people let it go
31:56
on for far too long. And it is a fine line.
31:59
And I think just being a matchmaker, this is in my
32:02
wheelhouse. So let me break it down for you.
32:05
You had the perfect question for this and this conversation is
32:08
going to take us out. I feel like there is just a lot
32:14
of confusion about what is a high quality man going to look
32:19
like when he shows up on the dating apps because some of the
32:25
behavior that I'm seeing in the group chat that be like Oh no,
32:31
you should give him a try. I look at that and think I am a
32:34
hard ass. I would not give that person a
32:36
try. So give me a scenario where
32:41
where somebody was confused and oh, give him a chance.
32:45
Well, it'd be like where the guy starts off, but it might be like
32:51
a man is saying hi there. Beautiful.
32:57
And then the woman will go back to pushing him to respond.
33:04
Like, hey, I was hoping you would ask me something about
33:09
myself. Like she'll say hi and thank
33:13
you, and I was hoping you were going to ask me something about
33:16
myself. And then he doesn't ask her
33:18
anything about himself, but he tells her a little bit about
33:21
himself. This is not exact, please, this
33:24
is not exact. I'm just making it up.
33:26
For memory. Nothing I would approve of.
33:29
I would not. I would not.
33:31
If a guy opens with high beautiful, that's not effort.
33:34
We're kicking him to the curb. OK.
33:36
That is what I have consumed all of your material.
33:40
I've read through things more than once and I was I am looking
33:44
at some of this stuff and I'm thinking I don't really know if.
33:49
I wouldn't. There's sometimes that there's a
33:52
fine line, like I'm trying to think of the example I just
33:54
dealt with yesterday where somebody sent something.
33:57
Oh, I know, I know. A woman was talking.
33:59
To this guy and and I think, oh, actually, I think it was early
34:04
stages, hoping you asked me an interesting question out of the
34:07
gate. And he and he opened with I see
34:10
you like I see, I see you like to go to, you know, restaurants
34:14
or or you know something about food or whatever.
34:17
And what are some of your favorite restaurants, you know,
34:20
and I guess her stuff. You never mentioned.
34:22
She liked restaurants at all. And so and and saying, you know,
34:26
should I just unmatch with him because, you know, he's saying I
34:30
liked restaurants and I never said I liked restaurants.
34:33
And I mean, so for me, here's how I feel about that.
34:38
He got it wrong, yes, but is he trying?
34:40
Yes and maybe. Did he use ChatGPT to come up
34:44
with a few good openers for women?
34:45
That probably works because we all eat food, so that is.
34:49
Probably a a a high. Percentage chance that most
34:53
women would would, would that would pertain to their profile.
34:57
Yeah. And is he trying to cheat a
34:58
little bit yeah. But I don't find.
35:01
But at least he's trying. So I think that's kind of a fine
35:04
line where you give him a pass, like to even come back with and
35:06
say and say, oh, well, I don't think I mentioned any
35:09
restaurants or food in my profile, did I?
35:11
Where did you see that? And you can be a little playful
35:14
with it, but I think a guy who just opens with High Beautiful
35:17
is absolutely not trying at all. All right, you guys, this is
35:21
going to wrap up the show for this week, but I hope you really
35:24
enjoyed it. I I learned something every.
35:28
Time I do these shows. You guys open the secrets of my
35:31
vault and things I hadn't thought of in so long come
35:34
pouring out. So always keep those great
35:36
questions coming. Always keep your standards high
35:40
and when in doubt, always make sure that you're being safe and
35:45
you're being smart when it comes to navigating these dating
35:49
waters because it is confusing out there.
35:51
But I'm hoping your time with me gives you a little more clarity.
35:54
OK, have a beautiful week, see you next time.
35:59
Want to keep up with more of Gina's advice?
36:02
Follow her on TikTok and Instagram at matchmaker Gina
36:05
Hendricks or visit her matchmaking website
36:08
ginahendricks.com.