Latest / High n' Dry Podcast / Episode 29. Pandora's Box & Peter Pan vs. Count Chocula (Feat. Shara Crosslin of 100 Devs)

Transcript

Episode 29. Pandora's Box & Peter Pan vs. Count Chocula (Feat. Shara Crosslin of 100 Devs) · High n' Dry Podcast

• 0:15
  SPEAKER_06: I have some ideas for that one.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_06: So I think it'll I think it'll turn out fine.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I literally I think that whatever we talk about is fine.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna make whatever we talk about fucking hilarious.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_05: Whatever we talk about, it's gonna be gold.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is called confidence.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: We gotta go on this podcast with the confidence of Alex Jones.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Alex Jones.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_06: Do you guys remember the when he was supporting the uh what was it like the diet drink and he did the before and after and the after, he looks exactly the same.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_06: Except red.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_06: He was red as a lobster.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: He put on tighter fitting clothes.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's so weird.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So weird.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, all right, we're good.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do this.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Shaquille O'Neal, too.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Shaquille O'Neal did the weight loss stuff.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_06: It's exactly the same.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: They're just aging men.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Stop being weird.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Just age.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: They're just doing side quests now.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Side quests.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_05: They completed the main mission and now they're just doing side quests.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Fell out that time before before they have to retire the game.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Not paying for that goddamn DLC.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna stick with whatever side quests are on this original journey.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_03: Brain pills.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_06: All right.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_06: So welcome to High and Dry Podcast, the only podcast where we do all our own stunts.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_06: I'm your host, Ryan Baron North, Drunken Philosopher.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_06: With me as always, James Crosslin, Resident High Philosopher.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_06: James, what's going on?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's been a it's been a tough week.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was injured, as as you know.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the listeners may not know.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: I was out of the game for like a week and a half.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's been fucking terrible.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah, no.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_06: But I like your scooter.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I got it's one of those 420 injuries that you just take a while to bounce back from.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_06: Well, uh so they they don't, it was Costco foot.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: It was Costco.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I anticipated that it was Costco foot.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Dreaded Costco foot.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_06: Not Sam's Club toe.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Walmart elbow.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_06: And so joining us today, we have a guest high philosopher returning to the show.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_06: We have Sarah Crosslin from 100 Devs.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_06: Sarah, what's going on?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, um, it's going.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: I am just uh living the dream, you know.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: Aren't we all?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: That dream was a horrible dystopian nightmare.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_06: Here I am.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_06: I uh speaking, like, do you just ever look I did you guys ever have health insurance, like just as kids and things?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I was very I was very lucky to have uh very good health insurance when I was younger.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I I got everything, I mean, at least my parents were able to take care of all of my medical needs.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: I had surgery, I had like real surgery when I was 15 years old to repair my shoulder, and uh and it was taken care of.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_06: So I mean, yeah, it's pretty cookie.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, no, I did I I did when I was younger, but then now I just remember looking back at those times, like, how did I have that?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, wouldn't it be crazy to be able to go to well you can go to the doctor?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I can't now, yeah.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_06: But I had to conscript myself into the military.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: You did, but damn, that health insurance is so sweet right now.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, in the middle of a pandemic, I feel like this would be the best time for me to have health insurance, but this is um not a time that I actually do.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_06: So that's fun.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_06: Well, if all the military members had Costco foot, how would we subjugate anybody?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_06: Oh boy.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_06: All right, and uh so yeah, again, thank you, Sarah.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_06: Thanks for joining us.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm on down with Target Fist on us.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Can't let them get too comfortable again.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_06: So thanks again, Sarah, and uh thank you, audience.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_06: Again, if you like us, please listen to us on repeat um while you're scalping PlayStation 5s or whatever it is you're doing.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_06: And please like and subscribe.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever you're around neighbors, just take their phone, download our podcast on literally any conceivable streaming platform.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: Any platform platform.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_06: Please.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Dear God, please listen to us on your refrigerators, microwaves, electric toothbrushes, anything that gets the internet.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_06: While you're standing in line at that free clinic, just put us on, please.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_06: All right, well, let's jump on into it.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_06: So, High and Dry Podcast, for those of you who are listening to the first time, we do we have a two-part episode for you.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_06: The first part is a philosophical question or less than philosophical question.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and then we move into a fist fight.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_06: But before we do that, we gotta get a little drunk and we gotta get a little high.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_06: So, starting us off, James, what are you smoking today?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_06: Now, I mean, are you guys smoking the same thing today?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: We are.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we are.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, how about you tell them which one?
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, we are smoking something called cheese whiz.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's new.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_06: I've never heard that one.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: I really the only reason that I am super interested in cultivating my own line of marijuana products is so that I could name them things.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, she's so good at cooking, she's so good at coming.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: And CheeseWiz is a really solid name.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's totally ridiculous, and it's right up my alley.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's also a really great strain.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: We've noticed that it's um just really good at relaxing, it has like a euphoric nuance to it, so um, it's quickly becoming one of our favorites.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Much thanks to the bun tender who recommended it.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_06: Awesome, awesome.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_06: All right, and I'll be joining you guys today with Captain Morgan's private stock.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_06: I snuck into his quarters and pulled this out from under his pillow.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_06: It's so private that uh he mast produced it and made it readily available for$26.95.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just means he dipped his privates in it.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_06: Ah, yeah.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_06: So it says right here fine Caribbean age drum with spice and other flavors.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's the privates.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: You're definitely gonna get the pirate mouth from it.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: Really a pirate mouth.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Hope your health insurance is good.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_05: I haven't a memory of my last shower.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've got scurvy.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Weird.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_06: So let's get this started.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_06: Our first toast is actually gonna go out to a Patreon subscriber out there, uh Thomas Dillard.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Hey Tom, thanks for subscribing.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: I know who Tom is.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: Are we just being casual without knowing if he prefers to be called Tom or Thomas?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: I guess that's who we are as people, right?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: I've always called him Thomas.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_06: Oh yeah?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_06: Oh well, uh well, he is uh a VIP philosopher.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: He's been greatly supportive of both the podcast and the stream.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, Thomas.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: You've you've been a great, uh, a great supporter.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I've I've really appreciated everything you've done for us.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: And he's super hilarious.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And he's he's a very hilarious guy.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_06: Well, cheers.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_06: Here's to you, Thomas.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: We've got to have him on sometime.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_03: Oh.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: Someone deprived.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Cheers.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: That was a big hit.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry about that.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: That was a big one.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have a good episode today.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_06: So we've uh you know, we've uh taken a little break here for uh injuries and you know, mental health and what have you.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_06: And uh I like coming back.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_06: I I enjoy coming back.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: We can see the we can see this the vapor hanging in the light.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like at it's it's staying at exactly the same height, just hanging in the air.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's very ethereal.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_06: I watch the weed vapor cascade along the light as it shines in.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: We usually smoke like uh we usually smoke in this room at night.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: So we don't have this kind of very interesting uh lighting.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_06: Well, we are actually in the golden hour.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_06: You know, that's uh an old Hollywood term for when your weed hits the light just right.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_06: And that brings us into our second toast.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_06: Our second toast goes out to uh Carl Urban, Cher and Shara.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_06: Cheers, Cher, thanks for coming on.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_06: This stuff is very caramel.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_06: I'm guessing that's his penis.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet, sweet Captain Morgan penis.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and the cream.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_05: Captain, why are you mounting that barrel?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_05: Making my private reserve.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_05: This is what we chose to do as adults.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Captain Morgan, keep it his private reserve is if Captain Morgan's anything like me, his private reserve is the shittiest stuff because I want to make sure people are getting my best stuff, right?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I make something really good, I give the best parts to the people I'm serving to because I want to be like a good host and I want people to enjoy themselves the most.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then I keep the worst stuff for myself.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I definitely fucked up this part, so I'm gonna take that so other people don't have to suffer through it.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_06: Well, which does remind me of our Patreon, where if you subscribe, you get the monthly free episode.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: And at some point, a shot glass, even.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, at some point a shot glass.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_06: So the proof was approved and we'll be coming in soon.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_06: Um and now it's time for our third toast.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_06: This is the guests' toast.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_06: Cheryl, what's it too?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm already feeling pretty um heady right now with those hits.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: I uh I think I'm just gonna toast to Lady Cannabis herself.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we literally just talked about how access to healthcare, who who thought people would need health care in a pandemic, or just for any day crushing life in this society, really been.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's been so massively helpful, especially with mental health, with lots of different pain issues that I have in my life that would literally bankrupt me if I tried to get help from a uh professional.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: So um, cannabis, miracle drug.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: If it's not legal in your state, I sure hope it is soon.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Or country, wherever you are.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Antarctica, I hope you get legalized marijuana soon.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_06: We're still trying to be the biggest podcast in Antarctica.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_06: Cheers.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_06: It's a sweet lady weed.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Who it's um I totally agree.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if there's anything else to add to that.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_06: Well, I for you know, I've um I've been delving into uh the fantasy genre lately.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_06: I've been reading Nathan's new book.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_06: Um erotic.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_06: Is it oh so erotic?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's a young adult fiction, so I don't think it's actually erotic.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: Give anything to Ryan and it's erotic.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'll follow that.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's a Ryan problem.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it that every book I read is erotic?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_06: Well, so it's a fantasy novel, and he says sword a lot, and I just imagine that's a penis.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_06: So, you know, they clashed swords and what have you all the time.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: That analogy like goes all the way back to to like penises.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, when penises exist.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_06: No, and well, I was just thinking about like every every time we get on this podcast, we're we're yelling about healthcare and what have you, and it's like I think of the peasantry.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_06: If you give them an internet connection and a microphone, that's what we are.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_06: That's that's what we are with the peasantry with a microphone and tens of followers.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_03: You know.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_06: All right.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_06: So it's time to jump into the question this week.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_06: Um, we've been doing a lot of that three in the morning drunken dumbass question.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and then we're actually gonna move it in a little different back to our roots, really.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_06: Um, you know, when Turk was with us and we were asking those sorts of things.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you mean like an actual philosophical dilemma?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_06: Correct.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_06: And that's what we're gonna do today.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, okay.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_06: Well, so by now the the people listening, they've been in it for 10 minutes now, and it's like, all right, well, now like they couldn't have just told me this before.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_06: I could have turned this off.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna do real things, boo.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_06: So we're gonna talk about Pandora's box.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_06: Uh mythology goes Pandora was given a jar, um, and she cracked it open.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_06: There's different accounts that it was her, it was whatever the fuck his name was.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_06: Um, but he opened it up.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_06: Epimetheus.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_06: There it is.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_06: And I've been drinking Cabin Morvin's private stock, and the scurvy is just going straight to my It's okay.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: I have specifically taken years and years of classical studies in both in both primary and secondary education.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_06: So, and then that's why you know that's why people come here.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, James bringing that sort of education.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_06: You got me bringing my education.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_06: Sherid now, she's coming on here and making us both look dumb.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why she's an actual educator.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_06: She's an educator.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's actually with an EU instead of an L.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_06: Um, so Pandora or whoever they released all the evils into the world at the behest of Zeus and um or at his at least his string pulling when he wasn't fucking someone as a bull or a goose.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And um it released a gold, uh, a rain, uh, a rainstorm of gold.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: I fucked I fucked people as rain.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Golden rain.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um love me and Zeus.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_05: See, now that's a fucking conception story right there.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's immaculate conception.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: I got fucked by golden rain.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_05: Um, yeah, so I was I was just sitting here and a goose came at me.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_05: And now I'm pregnant.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_06: So um, and then three dudes show up with gifts for the child.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_06: But so anyway, oh boy.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's a chestnut.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_06: So she released all the evils in the world, and we're now afflicted by them.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_06: But the last one crammed in the corner back there that didn't jump out immediately, that eventually, you know, was released, was hope.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_06: And the question I have for you guys today in this story here, is hope the one goodness that was left behind, or was it the one evil?
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and that evil, the reason why that it's evil is because hope is what, as far as the philosophers ask, is what continues man in the global sense is suffering.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_06: Um in the question of why don't we just fucking kill ourselves, we have hope.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_06: Um hope is what, you know, when you're looking at it this way, is what causes us to keep on going.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_06: When really you probably shouldn't.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_06: Um hope is what keeps capitalism alive.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_06: Um when you know you think one day you're gonna be the rich guy.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_06: Um hope is what keeps you moving without health insurance, and maybe one day you'll get it.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_06: Um hope.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_06: Is it good?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we should just kill ourselves.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: It would be so easy.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_06: Everyone at home will kill yourself.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_03: No, don't say that.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_06: Um that's the question I have for you.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_06: So um you have what proof is this, Captain Morgan, Ryan?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus Christ.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_06: And it's not even Tequila.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_06: Um but I mean, at the end of the day, that's the most important question in philosophy.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_06: Whether you do believe in an afterlife or whether you don't, um, why don't you kill yourself?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_06: And I don't mean that in any sort of, you know, like doom and gloom way.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean Why don't we?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_06: Why don't we actually why don't we?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_06: Why don't you?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_06: Um if you're looking at eternal life at the end, well, and that's all perfect, well, why don't you kill yourself?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_06: If you aren't looking like that and life is just suffering without healthcare, well, why don't you kill yourself?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_06: Um so the question then for you guys, when she opened that jar and released everything, and the last thing to flit her out was hope.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_06: Is hope good or is hope evil?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_06: Guests first, Sarah, what do you think?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm gonna hopefully be eloquent enough right now to um actually have a coherent thought because I have some thoughts on this, um, but man, that cheese whiz.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: That cheese.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_06: And it's a crazy question for cheese whiz in Captain Morgan's private reserve.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_06: Private reserve.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I think um overall hope is a good thing.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think if you it depends on how you magnify hope.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if we look at just our everyday lives and you know, things seem hopeless because, you know, we um are kind of stuck in this particular time.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: But if we kind of look back, um I I like to think of society and existence as something um that's been like this messy giant ball that just kind of rolls through time and it's our job to kind of slightly push it, and we'll hardly have like any conceivable impact in our time.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um but if we look back, we see how much progress humanity has made.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then if all those people that are our ancestors had just given up and been like, this shit's fucking hard.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: They don't have indoor plumbing, they don't have electricity, like, but they were still like, I think we should probably not kill ourselves.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like if we put it into like a greater until the rich dude told them to.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're part of this like intricate, wild, chaotic cycle, and and that's part of our our duty as a a member of society is to push that ball closer to uh you know everybody being able to exist with dignity.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and if we end ourselves, we have no ability to change that.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: But as living human beings, we have a profound amount of ability, even if it doesn't feel like it from day to day.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: But long term, it's so hard to imagine that long term, especially when you're grieving about how shitty things are, you know.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: But we know that they can get shittier, and uh that hope I think is what makes us uh say, I can't let this this feeling of hopelessness consume me.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta actually go out there and say, Well, yeah, it sucks, but at least I'm trying to make things better.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah, no, and and see, and uh that is an interesting point that also ties into um so it was it was always my belief and conception that um you're supposed to be making a world for your children that's better than the one you had.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_06: Um, but what's interesting with the advent of Facebook and the what Facebook has done to us, now we're like really pissed off that our kids have it better than we did.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_06: Um and I'm wondering, like, guys, that isn't that the fucking point?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_06: Like, when did you stop loving your children?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: When when it became like a hyper competitive, every man for himself kind of um hyper capitalist society, everybody's success is marked with profit, and that's like such a misguided way to live our lives, but so many people are drinking that fucking Kool-Aid right now.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's a classic story that uh a father will turn on his son because of a a threat to their own power.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's a classic human story.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we've just done a lot to prioritize what power means.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think that in our society, comfort is something that is available and highly prized and fiercely protected.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_06: For sure.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, like right now the peasants are sitting here trash talking the fucking, you know, the whole thing.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: So the what?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: I missed it.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_06: So right now, like the peasants are sitting here trash talking the whole thing.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: Our soapbox is getting slightly taller all the time.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: All the fucking time.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: All the time.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_06: And and listeners at home, thank you for butting up with this shit.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_06: Um, you know, at least we're not on Facebook right now talking about how loyal we are, but also how dangerous we are.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: I got threatened by a far-right fascist online.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: They were like, You you live in North Las Vegas, don't you?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: You better be careful.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I was like, you were just telling me how I should trust the police and stuff, and now you're like giving me veiled threats.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is a weird message.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: And and they were like, and they're like, I'm just telling you, it can be dangerous.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: You better watch like the second veiled threat.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: That shit had that's so crazy that that's our society.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_06: Well, you see, but I mean, but I at the same time, um, members of the High and Dry podcast are now being threatened.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_06: And I think that's what we've been looking for the whole time.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_06: Well, so James, um, hope is it good or evil?
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_06: Is it a sin or is it a virtue?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: So as a person who uh who trigger warning, oh hold on.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so trigger warning, suicide.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I am a person who felt hopeless at a time and attempted to commit suicide.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I understand when we we have to understand that when we talk about hope and like it it's something that stops us from committing suicide, it's not something that stops everyone.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: People certainly do uh lose hope.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: So people do certainly lose hope and they do commit suicide, but on the other hand, I uh didn't do a great job at suicide, which is cool.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really happy for that now.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_06: I am too.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_06: We have a podcast I'm insanely happy.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: I I was not methodical enough with my suicide, and uh and so I ended up living and I ended up regaining hope, and it's driven me toward uh One of the best experiences of my life.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: I got I get to spend time with my friends making media, and I get to spend time uh learning new skills, and I get to spend time with my wife, who I never would have met had I killed myself.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think and and and things have gotten better, and we don't have to just think of it as making decisions for our kids.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: These are decisions for ourselves, also.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can choose to live with dignity and have hope and treat people a different way for yourself, not just for them.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: It feels great to do those things.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: I feel so much happier now.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_06: That's awesome.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_06: That's awesome.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think that speaks a lot to like our feelings of isolation.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when we are isolated from other people, when we are so inwardly focused on what's wrong with us and you know, not looking aside and saying, what do other people need?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: Then I think it's easy to feel helpless, like he did.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: But all the things he talked about, you know, enjoying now are uh communicating and connecting with other people.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I just I kind of wanted to do a PSA because I've dealt with depression for a long time and you know I love my husband so much, and I'm glad he never um succeeded at committing suicide.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I feel really grateful to have him.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: If if you if you feel depressed, if you feel hopeless, if you feel like you have nobody, there's um there is hope.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: You just need to connect with people.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um insert insert resource here.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Google Suicide Prevention Hotline.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, or just getting involved.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: We got involved in a community that's teaching us how to do software engineering, and it it feels really great to be connected when we can't go out and like meet people in real life.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: Find something, people will value you.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: I found a group that treated me with dignity and inspired me to treat other others with dignity back.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_06: No, that's awesome.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and that's also why every once in a while I want to do questions like this.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I'm fucking tearing up over here.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_06: God damn.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_06: Um Yeah, it's because um these are, in my opinion, very important questions, you know, and it does take a break from you know what the audience wants with those who would you fuck in the histories?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean no, truly if you put those side by side in importance, they're neck and neck.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know which is more important.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_06: Um, but no, it's good it's good to do these sorts of things and to to to think about this sort of stuff.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: The elephant man.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_06: The elephant man.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_06: But I too am glad that you did not uh call it a day, James.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_06: I I too am glad.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_06: Uh well, so do you guys have any final thoughts?
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: What was the original question?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_06: Is hope good or is it hope is hope good or is it hope evil?
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_06: Because I mean it it prolongs your suffering, but then it also lets you suffer for other people.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's also important to remember not everything is suffering.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of suffering, but there's also a lot of beauty, and there's a lot of joy and excitement and great things, but we tend to really this is just a human thing in our brain.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: We really tend to focus on negative things.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's easy to but get hung up on those negatives and the struggling and the suffering, but like there's also a lot of love and care and beauty out there.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: Try to balance those out.
• 25:26
  unknown: Yeah.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_06: And I I know no one's going to do it, but hey, start a uh gratitude journal just every morning, three times.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: Totally do that.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: I absolutely have been doing that for the past months.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_06: It starts to train your brain to look at the good instead of the bad, and it doesn't have to be anything uh you know prolifically good.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_06: It can literally be, I had a fucking sandwich and that sandwich just tasted just right, or you know, I was on the way to work and the my favorite song came on, or whatever it is.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_06: If you're grateful for it, write it down and it'll start to train your brain to look at the good versus the Fox News bad.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and you know, so so yeah.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_06: Moving on to the next part of our podcast.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_06: James, did you have uh I did.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, please, come on.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to say that I think uh approaching it as life is suffering, you know, and pushing that rock up that hill is an inherently negative mindset.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: To you it seems neutral because it is your mindset, you know, you've accepted it as a truth, but I think it is inherently negative.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think that may be something to consider at some point going forward, perhaps that that seeing life as pushing a rock up a hill may be affecting the way you view the world and interpret it, interpret it.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um that perhaps maybe not thinking of it that way may open you to a more to more experiences meeting that quota of being like what you find uh desirable in the moment.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: It may expand those options, and perhaps you'll find certain things are better.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: What's up?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: Think about it as the opportunity to warm up your arm and shoulder muscles.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: Really amazing stretch.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_06: Well, I I think stronger with every function.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: But I think what I do, right?
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_06: Um I think I do utilize, I mean, you have like look like any sort of philosophy, you have to use it responsibly.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_06: Um, you have to understand that the people around you are important, they have their own feelings and thoughts and everything like that.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_06: You have to understand that you you have the ability to hurt people.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um But you can also want to help them.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_06: Well, I think that is something I've done.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_06: Um, because I do like I go into fucking work every day and I'm pushing that fucking rock up the hill, and I'm really fucking good at it.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_06: Um, you know, I'm most awarded in this and that, and then that.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_06: My resume is fucking awesome.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_06: But it's because of that knowledge that I'm pushing that rock up there.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_06: It's because of my optimistic hopelessness that, you know, I now have a college degree.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_06: I I've done all these things that no one in my family line before me has done because of an acceptance that A, I'm gonna go to sleep one day and that's it.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and B, that I'm pushing this rock up a hill every day, and I don't want to.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and then the people around me are pushing this rock up the hill every day, and I don't want them to either.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and if you can take these sorts of philosophies, use them in a way that concerns yourself with your neighbor, um, and then use them in a way that carries you forward, I think that's great.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_06: Um, even when on the on the face of it, you know, you're to you're explaining to someone that uh hope is wrong, I will die, and there is nothing.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: That is on the face of it.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_06: But watch, but watch me use these things to make my life better and the people around me's life better.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're gonna have to unpack this more in the future.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think that I think that in future episodes, this is gonna come up more because I feel like this is really important.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think we have a philosophical difference here, and I think it's gonna be more manifest as we go go forward.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to explore this more with you in the future.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_06: Me too.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_06: Me as well.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_06: Me as well.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_06: And that brings us into the second part of our podcast where it's time for a fistbite.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck yeah! Fuck you.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: How dare you have a different philosophy than you?
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: How dare you shitty shit out of you?
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: What a great juxtaposition in this podcast.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: I just love that this happened to be the same, the same qu I didn't know the question beforehand, but I I I know what the the fighters are, so I would love to.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_05: How dare you think differently?
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_05: It's time for Peter Pan to beat up count chocolate.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_05: But before we do that.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: Life is precious.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: Now uh Peter Pan and Count Chocolate.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so grab your alcohol, grab your weed.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_05: Um, it's time for another shot here on Hindrive.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, beauty and life I was talking about earlier.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it's flying ever boy versus flying ever to ever all peanut butter versus chocolate.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_05: Here we go.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: Classic combination.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: But they're working against each other.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, yeah.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's interesting.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: If any if anyone ever tried to do like the Atkins diet, like my parents got me on the Atkins diet when I was like a teenager.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's fucked up.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's fucked up.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's fucked up.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: And like they had these terror, if anyone out there remembers, they had these terrible fucking chocolates that are like not real chocolate.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: Peanut butter.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: They were they were such a sad imitation of chocolate and peanut butter.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I think is happening here.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_06: As long as I fucking cheat dump.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: I am a huge peanut butter fan, but there's so many things that have peanut butter in it, and I'm like, Why the fuck would you do this to peanut butter?
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: We figured it out.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_06: How dare you doing this?
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_06: Well, see, and that's finding hope in the hopelessness.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_06: Um so um, James, as tradition dictates, what's this one to?
• 31:14
  unknown: What?
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm I'm like super filmistic.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, this one's to the fighters, right?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: To the fighters.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm looking to you.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: So it's so it's a yeah, I think it's a crazy matchup.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: Cheers.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to our very well thought out podcast that we do.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_06: That really just had a very thoughtful discussion.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_06: Let's be real.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're good at improvising.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_06: We're hopelessly hopeless as we Not we, just you stop.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_06: No, no, no, no.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_06: We're hopelessly hopeful as we continue this thing along.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_06: I've been drinking.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_06: All right.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_06: Captain Morgan's dick sweat is all up.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's so powerful.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_05: It's so powerful.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_05: The dude needs to eat an orange.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_05: He's in trouble.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: He needs to drink some water, also.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_05: It shouldn't be this color.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_05: I can't move, my love, on account of the Rickens.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_05: They didn't go into that in Pirates of the Caribbean.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: Dude, being on a boat fucking sucks.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, like hearing anything about what even nowadays, like living on a boat.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: God damn, I'm so sorry.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you if you live on a boat or you have to work on a boat, fuck.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so sorry.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_06: Right.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are into that shit.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, some people hate it.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of most people hate it.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_06: Dude, and there's times when I think like fuck it, I'm just gonna go to a port town, get on a boat, and that's don't do it.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I know.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_06: But then when I land wherever it is we're landing, like we stop in fucking wherever it happens to be.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna just disappear into the crowd like Hannibal Lecter at the end of Silence of the Lambs.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: No, no travel papers.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: You probably don't speak the language.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_05: Fucking nothing.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_05: And there he goes with his absurdism and what have you.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on a second.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: We're talking about Peter Pat and where the fuck are we?
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_05: We're in Barbados after I've gotten off of the crabbing pistol.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to, I've been trying to find out this whole time.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: Am I like so high that I've totally forgot what we were talking about?
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_01: Or are they like way the fuck out there?
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: I have no idea what we're talking about.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_06: So how it happens on high and dry.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_06: High and dry, we determine in a three-round method who which fighter is gonna win between these two fictional characters.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_06: Round one, it's a fight club style event where these characters have moved into a Gen X bar and they're punching each other to death.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_06: No shirt, no shoes, no belt, and nothing that makes them special unless it's part of them.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_06: We even took Darth Vader's arms away.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he didn't get his arms.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't, if you want to have arms, don't lose him.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Why didn't I think of that?
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_06: Um you're getting ready to be on high and dry.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_06: Maybe you need some arms.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um don't have it as part of your story that you don't have arms.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_06: Round two zooms out into a city view where these characters I have received a manila envelope underneath their apartment doors, and they now have all access to what makes them them, and they get to try and kill each other that way.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_06: And then round three is the same thing as round two, except this time they get to bring a friend.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_06: So moving into round one, the contestants have just gone downstairs.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_06: Brad Pitt is telling them the rules of high and dry.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_06: Upstairs, Cher has been ushered to her seats.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_06: Carl Urban is back making sure her dress doesn't touch the ground, and the high and dry crew is behind them all watching.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_06: Um, guests first, as these two characters, Peter Pan.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: Way too involved, man.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_06: Looking, the Scars Guards have beef.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_06: Cher's gonna be talking to us soon.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_06: Fucking Carl Urban just refuses to respond to us.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_06: He thinks that that's the adult way to go about this.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_06: It's not gonna work, Carl.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I totally I've lost the thread on this thing for like the past two episodes.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_06: Jeff Bezos has a drone just rounding this fucking apartment.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_05: Dude, if you Google me, Jeff Bezos is an option when you click on the images.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think there might be listeners out there who are able to follow this thread better than me.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think that I understand what's happening here.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_05: Eventually there'll be a Wikipedia article and you can figure it out there.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_06: Until then, guests first.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_06: Guests first, Peter Pan and uh Count Chocolate are about to beat the fuck out of each other.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_06: Who wins?
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_06: Cher, thoughts.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I think Peter Pan is very agile.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: He can fly.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I believe these are inherent qualities that he would have in this fight.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think so.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: Count Chocolate.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um so he's got those big old bug teeth.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: Those would probably hurt if he bit you, which is what vampires are not are uh want to do.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um but how fast is he?
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he's on a breakfast cereal, so he he might be like in uh sugar high mode.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: He might not be super uh athletic.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: What do I know about Count Chocula?
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_06: Well, we know that he's a vampire.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_06: Um we know that he's a vampire, and I imagine we've seen him turn into bat bats.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_06: Um well you know in The Shining when there's that river of blood, it's like that, but with chocolate.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, okay.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I think um maybe if they turn if he turns into a bat, they can do an aerial fight, and those fangs might give him a bit of an advantage over Peter Pan.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: So Count Chocula's bat form is a bat body with Count Chocula's man head.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you remember that.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it's an abomination of nature.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: So then that's probably gonna like paralyze Peter Pan, to be honest.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think that sounds like an advantage in like a fight situation.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: Peter Pan is just Peter Pan's just like, what the fuck?
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I've seen crocodiles and shit, but what the fuck is this?
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm used to fighting Captain Morgan.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: I've had Captain Hook.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you're drinking Captain Morgan's Captain Hook.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah, that's the same guy.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_06: Peter Pan will fly in when he's got his dick in a cask of rum.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: The Captain Hook Prime Reserve.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: This has just been the longest serial commercial ever.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: I have a I have a ship full of young boys.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think happens here?
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: James Thoughts.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um man, it's such a hard so they're in they're in just a void with their own powers.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I really see it coming down to an aerial fight.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think I don't think I think even though Count Chocula is a vampire, I think that Count Chocula mostly uses his vampire powers in the pursuit of chocolate.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_05: Or to sell breakfast cereal.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or to sell breakfast cereal, both of which are not super demanding.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I all but I think Peter Pan is used to he he fights a lot.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: He fights a lot, he like pushes himself a lot.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: Which is a different just different than Contracula, who appears to mostly hoard chocolate.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_01: Is it does he sustain himself on chocolate or does he need it to sell his cereal?
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think he that's what you're saying.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if he sustains himself, but he at least has dominion over it.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know over chocolate.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_06: Um well then so for me, I I'm I'm I'm gonna take both characters into like their extremes, where you have Peter Pan, a Faye creature who is transporting the souls and bodies of children into the Fey realm where he has fun and plays with them like toys against someone who's clearly you know Count.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, he was based off of Vlad, you know, Tepas, and he's you know, Count Dracula, I mean sorry, Count Chocula has definitely fucking impaled people on pyres of chocolate.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: Twill.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_06: Um, I I I think that that is a thing that happened within his can of Toblerone, he impales them on a toe.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, definitely within history, you know, and the other breakfast cereals are like, hey, thanks for inviting us to this feast.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_06: We're gonna bounce, and he's like, no.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_06: And he impales them on chocolate.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um into chocolate shapes and puts them into cereal.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, no, I mean, like he he definitely drinks their blood.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_06: That just doesn't work well for selling cereal.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and so he keeps that to himself.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, he's still a vampire.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_06: Um, he's clearly based off of Naswaratu with those big ass front buck teeth.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: He's got a lot going on.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: He's a he's an amalgamation of a lot of vampires.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_06: Exactly.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_06: Um, which makes him, I think, intrinsically very powerful.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: So it's vampire versus fey versus fey classic, classic matchup.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: And undead, undead versus magic fairy.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_06: But I think because they're both taken out of their theme and they're both taken out of their realm, I think that puts the Faye at a distinct disadvantage.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_06: Um, because Peter Pan's entire thing is like, come to Neverland.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_06: And when he can't bring you to Neverland, you just have a fucking undead killing machine ripping him to shreds, impaling him on chocolate, and I assume turning him into chocolate to eventually put in his breakfast cereal.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um we'll stop at nothing to make you part of a balanced breakfast.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: Come here, little fairy boy.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: Not with fairy pieces.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_05: Not with fairy pieces.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_05: Um so Gera, final thoughts and a vote.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: Man, Count Chocula.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe uh yeah, I think he he might have the dark powers necessary to uh to take it.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_06: Okay, alright.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_06: So there's one to Count Chocula.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_06: James, thoughts?
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think that um I think that I agree that Count Chocula would take it in the first round.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: Just because he's uh you're you're right, his theme isn't far off from the world, actually, you know.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh because he he does interact with other things in his realm, right?
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't have to switch between them.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_06: As long as you need breakfast, Count Chocula can get to you.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, I'd say Count Chocolate takes in this one.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_06: Okay.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_06: And yeah, I'm gonna go the same way.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_06: So Count Chocula has taken round one, which moves us into round two.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_06: We're now in a theme and setting that is utilizable by both creatures.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's part of I think Neverland and Chocolate Chocolate World are the same.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_06: Or or Count Chocula's been transferred to Neverland, but people still fucking eat breakfast.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_06: Um, so they're like Yeah, like here we are.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_00: Have you guys seen that weird old van chocolate vampire?
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_00: Never saw that guy before, but I guess whatever.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's Neverland.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_06: I guess he's here now.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, in the context of this realm, it doesn't seem that weird, right?
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's different.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's different.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_05: It's different, it's definitely different.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_06: And he's he's he's been freaking me out.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_01: So fucking cereal though.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_01: Holy shit.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_06: So Count Chocula has decided that Neverland needs a well-balanced breakfast, and Peter Pan's like, nah.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_06: So here we go.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_06: They've both received the manila envelope that they know they they gotta fucking kill each other.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_06: Here we go, round two.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_06: Guests first.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_06: Cher, what do you think is gonna go down?
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: I wonder how how much enchantment Peter Pan can do to uh a Lord of Darkness.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_01: And chocolate.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: Dark chocolate.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: A Lord of Dark Chocolate!
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think the environment's definitely gonna help Peter Pan out a lot.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_01: He his thing seems to be so is it just uh enticing souls or they or is he collecting them because they're already gone?
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_06: What's what's well I think well within um Germanic or um you know that Eastern European fe lore, um he is bringing children through that veil in order to utilize them.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_06: Um, you know, whether he turns one into a fucking table or whether he uses one to fulfill his own childhood fantasies.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_06: Um fucking Neverland Ranch.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_06: There was a reason he named it that.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, it it's like if Jack the Ripper opened up a place and called it Horestab Land.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: It it's that is you know, I never thought about that.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_00: That like literally stealing kids away for your own dark purposes is literally Neverland.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: Neverland ranch.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I never thought of that.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_00: That was never made clear to me.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, like he couldn't have made it more fucking clear.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's pretty disgusting.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_05: Welcome to the podcast.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_05: This has been Aindre.
• 44:27
  unknown: Oh my God.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_05: We've lost every Michael Jackson fan.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_01: We're really running the gambit here.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_06: Um so yeah, so that's what we're looking at.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_06: Peter Pan, he's a Faye.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_06: He is a Faye, and any sort of myth or any sort of cultural thing that you read about the Faye, they're bringing you over into their world for their purposes.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_06: And in in this case, even in the Disney one, he was to come play in My Pirate Land.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um and they were stuck there because he because he didn't take them back.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_06: Exactly.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_06: Um and you know the kids in that one they thought it was all fun and games, and they continue to think it was all fun and games because it's the Disney movie.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_06: But they will never see their parents again.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_06: They will never have lives.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_06: They are part of a phase game.
• 45:11
  unknown: Yeah.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_00: You actually took them back though.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, because they had to.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_06: Um or otherwise it'd be rated R.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_00: But that's the thing about Peter Pan, that's what distinguishes Peter Pan from just a regular Faye.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_00: He does take them back, you know.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_00: But also he does that to the children, not to Count Chocula.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: Count Chocula is like uh is like uh Captain Hook, you know, here where they're they're forced to either pitted as enemies.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um so we have to think of those two specifically to have their own specific traits.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, yeah, so Zara, what do you think?
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think um I think maybe uh Peter Pan, I think is going to be able to really harness the power of uh controlling the environment and really convincing Count Chocula to um fall into his fantasy.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: He's just gonna absorb them into his realm, and then Count Chocula's just gonna forget about his Chocula barren days, his chocolate cereal barren days.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: And um, that's probably why he doesn't make cereal anymore, to be honest.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think we we just cracked the case on that.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_06: There it is.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_06: There it is.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_06: Well, I think it's because he's hibernating.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_06: Um after so many years.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, after so many years, a vampire must rest.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_06: Um, James?
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think that it uh you have to remember in this round, Peter Pan gets access to his sword also.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_00: So Peter Pan is a very skilled sword fighter.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_00: Also true.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: Very skilled sword fighter.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: He fought Captain Hook in like an incredibly blatant uh test of sword fighting skills.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um and Count Chocula doesn't make it a lot of things.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_06: He did it with a dagger.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_06: What?
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_06: He did it with a dagger.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, so uh so he's an incredibly skilled blade blade wielder, and Count Chocula doesn't use any fucking weapons, he just uses chocolate, which is both delicious deliciously at the slow killer.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: Going back to before, why don't you just kill yourself?
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am slowly with chocolate over the course of 40 years.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_06: What do you think I'm doing here?
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_06: We've had chalk count chocolate every morning for the past 20 years.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um but uh but yeah, I think that uh he'll just cut through that chocolate.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't know how strong his chocolate powers are.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's always liquid chocolate, it's almost always liquid chocolate, right?
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then it condenses into a cereal.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: But in like in everything, he's always got rivers of chocolate.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_00: He summons liquid chocolate, um, which is just not well-he's got a boat.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_00: Peter Pan's got a boat.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_06: Well, then what I think's gonna happen then, um, to to counter that, because he does eventually solidify it into a balanced breakfast.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_06: So what I see happening is Peter Pan standing on the shores of wherever the fuck, and he's got his boat and everything like that, and then like magic shell chocolate, like everything hardens across the seas of this Feyland, and it just turns into a shell of chocolate from which a chocolatey cloud releases this vampire.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I like that, but he never turns anything into a shell of chocolate, he turns it into a balanced breakfast, which is a with chocolate, hardened chocolate pieces.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_00: Not hardened, they're not hardened, they're like they're crispy chocolate, like amalgammed with a grain of some sort.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm not sure.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_00: And you can sail through that.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I have an important question.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh shit, I may have lost it.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the lost boys, are they part of the environment, or can does he have to wait to the third round to get any like other okay?
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay, yeah.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it's just them.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_06: It's just them.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and they both can fly, so they're gonna meet in the air.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_06: Um and then for me, I just think it comes down to Count Chocolate, and alter the environment.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_00: So can Peter Pan.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: He can alter himself, which alters the environment.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can't he he can he can pass through things.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm fairly certain he can pass through objects.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_00: But then when when Count Chocolate bursts into a mist of chocolate, it's the same when but when he but when like Peter Pan swirls around and shoots off, the environment changes with his mood.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like wherever he is, he's he's it wherever in Neverland that he wants to be is is how his powers work.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's the environment that this battle happened within his favorite.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_06: Wherever Peter Pan bursts into, as long as that culture has harvested and created chocolate, Count Shaliko will be behind him.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_01: But then Peter Pan comes in with his ability.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_01: This is really just like an ability to transport.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_01: He has um what is that called?
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_01: Which is transporting to another dimension.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_01: What is that called?
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: Why do I feel like there's a word for that?
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_06: Psychopom?
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_01: But uh so I thought psychopomp also.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_01: All right, psychopomping it.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_01: So Peter Pan has the ability to travel to different dimensions if it's what he wants.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_01: So he could like take Count Chocula, imagine like uh like a volcano and just like throw him into the volcano dimension.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_00: Peter Pan is like his his powers like a Fae, his powers based on his emotions are just like that's the world, you know.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: I made this okay.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_06: All right, well then uh moving it back around, Sarah.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_06: Final thoughts and a vote.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: I think Peter Pan's um gonna win this ability to um teleport.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think the fact that it is in Neverland just means that uh that Peter Pan can control the environment.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's what Faye do, and it's what Peter Pan does in the movie as well.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like he he almost he almost guides the story to learn a lesson, like some ancient creature playing a game with itself.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's what he does.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I think that Count Chocolate would just be another story and another chapter of Peter Pan's story as he guided this interaction because that's what Faye do.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_06: And then for me, um, I'm gonna say that Peter Pan wins as well, but only because as this huge tsunami of chocolate rushes towards him, Peter Pan brings out the power that we forgot about, and there's a wall of peanut butter.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_06: Then they become friends that it turns into a giant Reese's cup.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then they're like, are we do we just become best friends?
• 51:48
  unknown: Yup.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_06: And either way, so if my vote's a tie, Peter Pan still takes it.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_06: So round two goes to Peter Pan, and we move into round three.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_06: These characters now get a friend.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_06: So, Sherra, your thoughts?
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_06: What happens?
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_01: Man, I don't know.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_01: He um he's gotta find he can't use like his army of lost boys, that just can be one, right?
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: They have to dismantle his his peanut butter chocolate impasse.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, the lost boys, I I think in terms of this could potentially be an ally.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they can't.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, we've done that before when you know when Slender Man tried to children of the corn, yeah, Velma.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_06: Um, yeah.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_06: So I I think that yeah, I think that's within reason.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe the crocodile.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_01: That crocodile pretty effective.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty effective.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_06: They sure teamed up at the end, but would suffocate on a river of chocolate.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_00: Would it they don't breathe, they don't breathe water.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, but but he definitely doesn't breathe chocolate.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so he just gets the top like you would in any kind of liquid.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think you'd be fine.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think a crocodile would work.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_01: A chocodile.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_01: We'll take a chocolate.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, he gets chocolatile.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, um man.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_01: Cheese was as great.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_01: Cheese was is great.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even know, man.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so uh crocodile seems good.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: I can't think of like a better Wendy.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_01: Wendy is pretty clever, but she's very clever.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_06: She makes good burgers.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_01: Chili's not bad either.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um uh yeah, I don't know.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_01: Big potatoes.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_05: Jesus Christ.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_05: All right, um, so we have chocodile and some mumblings about Wendy's.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_01: Then Count Chocolate.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_01: All right, Count Chocolate's been dormant because he's actually been in a diabetic coma for like 20 years.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_01: How long has Count Chocolate been non-well?
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_05: They took his foot and he's back now.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_05: He has a chocolate peg.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_01: Did they stop making Count Chocolate?
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think so.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's still around a little.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_00: We're Googling it now.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is no research podcast.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: Please hold.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: Your listening experience is very important too.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_01: Monster cereals.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_03: Oh god.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: Doing research, learning about monster cereals.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_00: It said the tagline, it said the tagline was only up to 2010.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_03: I want to eat your cereal was the tagline for cash.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably like a play on and one to say.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there you go.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_01: You got it.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_01: We all get it.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it may or may not still exist.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, well, we're assuming they're at their peak.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_01: They're at their peak.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_01: What are we what are we doing?
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_01: What was the question?
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you could totally still buy it.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_06: Okay, then we're good to go.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_06: So Count Chocolate.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_00: It says out of stock.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_06: Well, yeah, on Amazon, yeah, because everyone's buying it out.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know if this is still a serial We've lost.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_00: It discontinued as one of the searches.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_06: Oh shit.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_06: Is Count Chocula gone?
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_06: And not only gone, has he been gone for 11 years?
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_00: Can you still buy Count Chocolate?
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_06: Well, we're gonna assume that you can.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_01: So he's still alive.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, so um well so before we move on to James.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_06: Before we move on to James, then just who do you think Count Chocolate is gonna bring with him to this fight?
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_06: Booberry.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_00: So he's part of Monster Cereals, which has Booberry.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_00: Frankenberry, too.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_06: Frankenberry.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_00: He has Frankenberry.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_00: They have uh fruit brute.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_00: The fruit brute?
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_00: I swear to god.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_00: They have a thing called Fruit Brute, and it looks like a werewolf.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_00: And they also have Fruity Yummy Mummy.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_06: Oh yeah, the Frummy.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_00: Which would be the most po powerful ally?
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_00: Probably a ghost.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_00: Probably a ghost.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_01: Blueberry's, I think you go.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_05: He's gonna bring Booberry.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_00: Mummies are pretty powerful, though.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_00: Mummies are very powerful.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the thing.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_00: Count Chocula and Peter Pan are both immortal beings.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're both immortal beings with hundreds of years of experience.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_00: Mummies are even older because they had to have been mummies.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_06: For sure, for sure.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_06: Uh well, James, what do you think is gonna happen?
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh fuck, I don't know.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_00: Did we decide on Booberry?
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, well, no, it's just it's just what you think is gonna go down.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think Peter Pan's gonna bring I think Peter Pan's gonna bring Wendy.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think Peter Ran's gonna bring Wendy because he's gonna be thrown off when Count Chocolate has an extra an additional extra planar ally.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_00: Who can who can summon an additional dessert item?
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_00: A dessert breakfast.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_06: Okay, all right.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and then for me, you know, I see the seas of Neverland transforming into chocolate.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_06: And so Peter Pan with Wendy or with Tinkerbell, they they've stepped back from the river and then they look back onto land where Brendan Frazier mummy style, there's this cloud of um cheesecake with with the fruit with the fruit mummy's face getting ready to devour them all.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_06: And I think the two of them will just turn this land into fucking cereal.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_01: That does seem to be like a very prolific like um cereal or like children's food superpower is like you transform everything into your like serial realm.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_01: So if he has an assist from somebody like Fruity Nummy Mummy, whatever, and or Booberry, that's a great point.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think he might be able to make it happen.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it's no longer Neverland, it's fucking breakfast time.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because we already know like he the Peter Pan can just out outclass a single count chocolate, but a double cereal?
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, that's a lot for him to take on.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_01: A second breakfast?
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_06: Is that such a thing possible?
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's hobbits.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_06: James, thoughts?
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_00: I really wanted Wendy to be like the deciding factor here, but I don't know if Wendy can even handle this shit.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like she's she's meant to be clever, but she's also still a child.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_00: And she was also her cleverness helped against a pirate.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_06: Um, not not clever's great until you have that cloud of breakfast funneling towards you.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, she could like she could be like very motherly and like convince Count Chocula that his cereal's unhealthy.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_06: No, you've got she let all those kids go to Neverland.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_01: We want broccoli.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck you, Wendy.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um so so I don't think Wendy could help in this front.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't know who Peter Pan would bring.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I don't know who Peter Pan could possibly bring uh to help him through this because all his friends are like fucking uh kids.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he doesn't have any fee friends.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_06: Well and I think that that comes to his the I think that comes to the hidden theme underneath it is that his friends aren't real.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_06: They're they're they're creatures, they're kids that he's brought in across the veil of into the Fae.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_00: They're his prisoners, technically.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, and I um if if I recall correctly, Wendy was a firstborn, and when um the fruity mummy visits the plagues um across Neverland, she will turn into cereal um easily.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, unless Peter Pan knows to paint his door, you know, with chocolate.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_06: I don't think so.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_06: And I don't think he will.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think he will.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_01: In final blow, Peter Pound will be like, I thought chocolate and peanut butter were the best combination, but now you're off with fucking booberries.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's gonna crush him.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_01: Fruit chocolate is now a great combination.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_01: Bullshit! Not as good as what we had, and you fucking know it, Count Chocula.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_06: As his last words as he's ripped away in the plagues of fruit mummy.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_06: All right, cool.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_06: Um, so I think we have it there then.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_06: So round three goes to Can Chocula and the 10 Plagues of the Fruit Mummy.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because but those cereal, those cereal monsters have some power.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, they have some power.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_06: All right, so you you've made it this far.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_06: You've you've heard it here first.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_05: Um the 10 plagues of fruit mummy, count chocolate.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_05: Jesus.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_05: This is what this is this is our podcast.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so this is this is what you get when we come up with everything two minutes before we start.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I mean, but hey, that's the point.
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_06: So thanks for listening, Sherra.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_06: Thank you so much for joining us.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_01: Count Chocula won, right?
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_01: I had a great time.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_01: Count Chocula got it.
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_06: Count Chocula won two out of three.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_06: Yep.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, he sure did.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_06: Way to go, Count Chocolate.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_06: Uh Chocolate.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry people keep disrespecting your peanut butter.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_06: You are kind of off, Brandy.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm sorry you don't have friends because you keep kidnapping people.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you're taking them off to Neverland.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's so hard being a kidnapper.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and an audience friends.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_06: It if you survived the hopeless hopefulness and the Neverland thing and everything after that.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_06: Thanks for staying with us.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_06: Uh James, where can you find us?
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_00: You can find us uh on Instagram at high and try podcast.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's high and try with an in.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's no and in our name.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's a different podcast.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_06: And a Led Zefflin album.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it's it's other things, and it's not our thing.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_00: We don't we just have an N.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_00: So you can find us there, and then you can find us on Twitter at High and Dry Pod.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can find Ryan at Ryan Barron North.com.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_00: You can find him on Twitter at Baron underscore North.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can find me on Twitter at and Twitch at the Diabolical.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Cheryl, where can we find you?
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm on the internet.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like I know I'm supposed to like build up a social media presence and stuff like that, but like it fucking sucks.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_04: It fucking sucks.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_00: If we if we got good like interaction, what I really want is good interaction.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you like us, come interact with us on those platforms because I want to interact with you.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_00: I run the Twitter usually, that's where I'll interact with you.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_00: Ryan usually runs the the the Instagram, and that's where he'll interact with you.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_00: And come it come say things to us because we want to fucking talk about it.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_00: It sucks just posting it and then being like, this does no good.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_00: I hate it.
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, no, and please swing by our Patreon.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_06: James and I are about to do uh it's a 20 minute after party where I'm gonna ask James a question, it'll be on our Patreon.
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_06: Join our Patreon, listen to James Babble on, get a fucking shot glass, it's all out there.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_06: Um, so thanks again for listening, everyone.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_06: We love having you on.
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_06: This has been High and Dry Podcast.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_06: Bye.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.