Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor as a First-Generation Professional
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I was reading a study from the National Association of Colleges and Employers, and one number stopped me. Seventy percent of first-generation college graduates finish school without ever having a professional mentor. Compare that to about forty percent for students whose parents went to college. Luna: That's a huge gap. And I bet it's not because first-gens don't want mentors — it's probably because they don't know how to find one. Lucas: Exactly. If you're the first person in your family to work in a professional office, you don't have a parent who can introduce you to their boss or give you the unwritten rules of networking. So today I want to talk about how to build a mentoring relationship when you're starting from zero — no warm introductions, no insider knowledge. Luna: And if this episode helps you think through a career move or decision, and you've been meaning to support the show, you can buy us a coffee at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It keeps the show ad-free and independent. Lucas: Yeah, honestly, if today was worth a coffee to you, that's the link. Buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. And now — let's talk about the first real hurdle: knowing that you deserve to ask for mentorship in the first place. Luna: That's a big mental block. I remember cold-emailing a VP at a media company when I was a junior writer, and my heart was pounding. I almost didn't send it because I thought, 'Who am I to ask this person for their time?' Lucas: Right, and that feeling is compounded when you don't have anyone in your circle who's done it before. So let me give you a reframe. You're not asking for a favor — you're offering a value exchange. A mentor gets the chance to shape someone's career, to give back, and often to learn something fresh from you. Luna: I like that. It takes the pressure off. Instead of 'please help me,' it's more like 'I think you might enjoy this conversation.' Lucas: Exactly. So the first practical step: use LinkedIn's alumni feature. Filter by school, then filter by industry, and then — here's the key — filter by 'first-generation' or 'first in family' in the keyword search. You'd be surprised how many people put that in their profile. Luna: Oh, that's smart. You're looking for someone who's already walked the path you're on. They'll get your context without you having to explain it. Lucas: Right. And when you reach out, keep it short. Three sentences max. Say who you are, that you're also first-gen, and ask for a fifteen-minute informational interview — not a mentorship. That word can feel heavy. 'Informational interview' is a lower-stakes ask. Luna: Fifteen minutes is so doable. I've never had someone say no to fifteen minutes. And if you show up prepared, they often offer to extend or meet again. Lucas: That's the exact play. Now, what do you do in those fifteen minutes? Have three questions ready. My framework: one about their career path, one about a skill they mentioned in their profile, and one about a mistake they made early on. Luna: The mistake question is gold. It makes you human. I once asked a senior editor what her biggest misstep was in her first year, and she talked for ten minutes. She later became my sponsor. Lucas: And that's the transition from mentor to sponsor — someone who actively advocates for you. But let's stay on the first step for a second. Another tactic is to look for a 'reverse mentorship' opportunity. If you're early in your career, you might actually know more about a specific digital tool, a social platform, or a cultural trend than a senior leader does. Luna: So you pitch yourself as someone who can help them. That's genius. 'I'd love to share what I know about TikTok for B2B marketing, and in exchange, I'd love to learn from your experience in this industry.' Lucas: Exactly. It flips the power dynamic. And senior leaders often love that — they're busy, and they genuinely need to stay current. I've seen first-gen analysts land regular coffee chats with VPs just by offering a fifteen-minute rundown on a new software tool. Luna: What about the fear of sounding stupid? A lot of first-gens I talk to worry that they don't know the 'right' questions or the 'right' etiquette. Lucas: That's real. But here's the thing: you don't need to know corporate etiquette to be respectful. Be polite, be punctual, send a thank-you note within twenty-four hours. That's eighty percent of it. And if you blank on a question, just say, 'I'm not sure I know enough to ask a great question there — what do you think I should be asking?' Luna: That's disarming. It shows humility and curiosity. I've used that exact line, and it usually gets a laugh and a better answer than my original question would have. Lucas: So let's talk about the follow-up. You've had the informational interview. Now what? Most people drop the ball here. They send a thank-you email and then disappear for six months. Luna: Guilty. I've done that. What should we do instead? Lucas: Within a week, send a follow-up that mentions one specific thing you learned from the conversation — and then shares something you did with it. For example, 'After you mentioned the importance of SQL skills, I signed up for a free course on Codecademy. I'm halfway through.' That shows you take action. Luna: And that makes them want to invest more time in you. Because you're not just a talker — you're a doer. Lucas: Exactly. Then, about a month later, send a brief update on your progress. No ask. Just an update. Then, after two or three touchpoints, you can ask for a second meeting or for an introduction to someone else. Luna: So it's a slow build. Not a one-and-done. Lucas: Right. And one more thing for first-gens specifically: don't feel like you have to find a mentor who looks like you or comes from the exact same background. Yes, shared experience helps, but some of the best mentors I've seen are people from completely different worlds who just happen to be generous. Luna: That's a good point. My best mentor was a white guy from Connecticut whose dad was a lawyer. He didn't get my background at all, but he was curious about it, and he advocated for me because he saw potential. Lucas: So the takeaway: start with LinkedIn's alumni filter for first-gen, pitch a fifteen-minute informational interview, use the three-question framework, follow up with action, and don't be afraid to offer reverse mentorship. And remember — the ask itself is a sign of strength, not weakness. Luna: I love that. And if you're listening and you've been wanting to reach out to someone but haven't — today's the day. Send that message. Lucas: And if you found this episode useful, you know where to find us. Buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. We'll be back next week with another career conversation.