Latest / Honey Badger Radio / Hostile, aggressive feminism | HBR Talk 346

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Hostile, aggressive feminism | HBR Talk 346 · Honey Badger Radio

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to HBr Talk three forty six Hostile
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Aggressive Feminism. I'm your host Hannah Wallen here with the
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: personification of perceptivity, Mike Stevenson, a nonsense annihilator, Lauren Brooks
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and uh, we're we're still on last week's subject, partly because,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: like when you when we look at stuff like this,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: there's a bit of there's a bit of a process
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: that feminists use in order to cover their tracks. So
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: a while back, I did a show with and I
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: may have to do this with with you guys too,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: just so you see what I'm talking about. But it
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: is a show with our patrons where where we looked
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: into the use of DEI and the imposition of DEI
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: in into the curriculum in elementary schools, because you know,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: we got told the gender politics and DEI and all
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: that that that was not in the curriculum, and they
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: would show curriculum that doesn't have those phrases in it,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: and you wouldn't necessarily see anything in the rubric or
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: anything like that that specified. You know, here is where
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: you teach the kids that there are five thousand genders
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  Speaker 1: and they might be one of them, and they shouldn't
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  Speaker 1: talk to their parents about it, and and it wasn't
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  Speaker 1: in the main body of the curriculum, right, But you
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: go to the curriculum and you go to the bottom
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: of the page where it's got its sources and citations
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: and at further references or further materials that they can
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: access to enhance their teaching in the classroom, and you
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: start looking into those things, and they have then the
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: first one often is a link to a page that's
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: just a list of here's things you can go look at,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: and that list takes to you to another set of
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: things that has exercises that you can do within the classroom,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: but doesn't really give a full description of the exercises
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: you can do in the classroom or the workshop sheets
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: and stuff like that. And you get like the first
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: layer of DEI, and you start seeing like this is
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: where it's present, right, But it looks like really innocent stuff.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: You know, Oh it's anti bullying, Oh it's anti homophobia,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: anti sexism, anti racism, whatever. And you're like, well, you know,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: you can't be against teaching kids not to bully each other, right,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: So then you go to the resources. That page tells
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: you that you need to look at to better understand
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: and use these exercises with printouts that you can use
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: in the classroom to help the kids understand. And there's
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: a little more and it's a little less innocent, maybe
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: a little more sexual, maybe a little more blamy, has
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: more feminist terms in it, like toxic masculinity and such,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: and gives gives you more of an idea that, hey,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: this is actually an attempt at brainwashing your boys and
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: hating themselves and thinking they have to be something other
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: than a boy in order to be accepted in society,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: you know. And then there's another layer and another layer,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: and you usually go through five or six layers of well,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: here's what you have to have in order to use
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: these tools. Here's the tool. Here's part of the tool.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Be like somebody gives you the handle for the hammer
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: and then says, but to get the actual hammer head,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: you have to go to this page. And then this
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: page describes a whole list of different hammerheads you can use,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: and you have to go to the next page to
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: actually get whichever of those hammerhead you're looking for. And
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: then when you go to the next page, it gives
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: you the claw part or the front part but not
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: the other and says, oh, you got to get the
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: rest of it here, and and you get to that
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: last page before you find out, oh, hey, here's DEI.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Oh hey, here's here's feminism. Uh, here's condemnation of masculinity.
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  Speaker 1: Feminists do that with their their ideology, uh, inserting into
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: the formation of laun policy too. Like the thing that
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  Speaker 1: we looked at last week where they were funding this
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: this research and I, uh, let's see here, I got
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: to close a thing that I'm not using right now. See,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I think I showed you. I highlighted you know, alcohol's
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: effects on cognitive uh, and behavioral responses and virtuality dating simulation.
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  Speaker 1: Remember we looked at this last week, and this was
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: government funded feminist research, which is quotes around research, because
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: when we looked at it, we figured out pretty quickly
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: that their process wasn't going to give them a set
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: of information that would actually tell them anything useful. It
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: was undermined by the fact that the participants would know
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: that they were in an environment where their actions didn't
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: affect real people. So it wasn't research on what an
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: individual would do in real life. It was research on
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: what an individual would pretend to do in a video game.
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  Speaker 1: And you know, a lot of times feminists complain about
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: behavior that people engage in in video games as if
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: they do it in real life. But everyone who plays
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  Speaker 1: games is fully aware that part of the point of
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: playing video games is to do things that you can't
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: or wouldn't do in real life.
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  Speaker 2: Well kidding me, I always drive over the hookers and
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: steal all their money when I play, and when I
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: play real life, you know, just like its GTA.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: There we go, and I go around with a big
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: a big sword and his staff like my characters in UH.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I never never winter, yeah, casting spells and ship you know,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: and I'm accompanied by a small dragon and I fly
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: to works.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: I remember jumping on my brother and killing him, like
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: gloating over how much I killed him. Because I'm Italian
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: and my name is Mario, so I've frequently jumped on
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: my brother. I lost count of how many times I
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: killed him. I don't know the difference between literally killing
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: someone and figuratively killing someone in a video game. It
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: fucked me up for life. It turned me into a
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: serial killer of my brothers.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: See, I didn't even know he had a brother, and
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: now I know why, because he's killed them exactly.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: I literally never had a brother, but I would think
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: that because I killed him a thousand times with a
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: turtle shell.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Who you really have to watch out as random cam
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: h his videos are all backwards. Yeah, and I live
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: on an exclusive diet of wafers and cherries and ghosts.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: So there you go. But it's okay, guys, because I
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: single handedly repelled an alien invasion over and over and
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: over again and a demon attack.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Man, I want to play your real life.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I'm old. I like BeO, I really do, just not
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: the part where my hip hurts all the time, my teeth.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: But but I like remembering old video games. But yeah,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: so I mean you get the point. Obviously, it was
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: a dumb claim for them to make that this was
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: actual research, but despite that, they they had that they
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  Speaker 1: based a part of it on using this concept hostile masculinity.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: Right.
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  Speaker 1: Basically, they're assessing They're assessing whether alcohol exacerbates what they
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: refer to as a predisposition towards sexual aggression caused by
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: pre existing levels of hostile masculinity. And their idea of
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: hostile masculinity is of course based on years of feminist
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: postulation about this term. The thing that we looked at
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: here the the Oheden. Actually, I don't think we actually
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: read this. I think what we looked at was the description.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: And we might have looked at these titles last week,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: but I know we looked at the description for hostile masculinity,
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: and we compared it to the fact that there's very
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: little statement about any such thing with regard to femininity. Oh,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: there's no hostile femininity, right, or if there is, it's
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: not hostility toward the opposite sex, like hostile mix masculinity
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: is supposed to be, it's hostility toward other women, right,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: And so we have, like we looked a little bit
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: at this overview abstract explaining the idea of hostile masculinity.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: We looked at what Google said that hostile masculinity meant
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: according to its research, and we looked at what GROC
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  Speaker 1: said hostile masculinity and hostile femininity meant according to its research.
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  Speaker 1: But where did the term come from? What's the origin?
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  Speaker 1: Okay says scroll down in my chat window. I don't
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  Speaker 1: understand what are you talking about the chat window that's
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  Speaker 1: on this screen in the video, Because that I have
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: no actual control over. I might have to refresh that
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: it might not be something I can change. I might
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: not be able to show the comments there when you
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: see we'll see what happens if I just hit okay,
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: if it refreshes. It does not, at least not from
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  Speaker 1: what I can tell. This is so small on my
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  Speaker 1: screen that I cannot read what it says in there
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: in the screen video. Okay, so mocking moch Moniker. Sorry,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: I don't think I can fix that. Let me try
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: eliminating it and bringing it back. I don't understand why
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: it's not keeping up with the actual Yeah, yeah, that's
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: that's not moving. That's very strange. I don't know. I
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: think if I mess with this too much, I'm gonna
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: overload it because it does seem to be mad at
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: me for this, like every time I try to do it.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Every time I try to do it, it has difficulty,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: it seems to it's it's it shows the spinney I'm
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: thinking will so yeah, we're just gonna not mess with
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: that anymore. If it doesn't work, I'm sorry about that.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna have to leave it the way it
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: is because it's it created problems before the show. It
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: dumped my information that that allowed me to go to
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: different channels, scream to stream to different channels, and like
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: right before the show, I had to fix that. So
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: whatever is going on with is probably because of that.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: So sorry, guys and rumble, you're not gonna be able
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: to watch the restream chat that shows all the different
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: chats this time because I don't have I don't apparently
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: have access to that this time.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: You don't care anyway that sort like.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Well, I'll try to if anybody says anything that needs
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: answered any other chats, I'll try to say what channel
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: it's on and stuff. It's unfortunate, but that's that's about
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: all I can really do. It sucks. I like being
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: able to share the whole chat with people, and I
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: don't know if it'll if it'll repopulate or not, but
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: as long as it's actually streaming what we're doing, we'll
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: continue with that. What a strange glitch like is is
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: there any technical difficulty that doesn't happen to the badge?
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: I don't think so, so not one yet.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But anyway, that's my long ass explanation as to
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: why we are looking at old old feminist research because
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: it's from like nineteen ninety one, when you know this
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: one isn't this is recent, but the one that we're
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: going to go switch to after we look at this
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: will be from nineteen ninety one. But before we get
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: into the actual body of the discussion, just a reminder,
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: As always, Honey Badger Radio dishes out of smorgasboard of
• 13:32
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• 13:36
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• 13:52
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• 13:56
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• 14:01
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  Speaker 1: on any social media platforms, tip jar. The link for
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  Speaker 1: that is Feedthbadger dot com slash just the tip, And
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: as always, the same risk applies to our social media
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: platforms like I'm I basically have spent the last week
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: trying to get myself in trouble arguing with a rab
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: fem so there you go. So the idea of hostile
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: masculinity comes from old research, like seriously came out. The
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: idea was proposed in the nineteen eighties, and I think
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: nineteen ninety one was the year cited here, Yeah, malamouth
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: at all, nineteen ninety one. The confluence model of sexual
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: aggression is where this idea of hostile, hostile masculinity and
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: sexual aggression came from. So we're not gonna read like
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: this whole paper. We're going to look at a few
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: bits that are relevant to the discussion. And I want
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: you to keep in mind when I'm reading this, the
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: reason we're looking at this is because of that research
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: we talked about last week, that so called research where
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: they are going to attribute the attitudes and behaviors of
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: the overall general male population in real life to the
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: behavior of a small subset of men in a video
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: game that they know is a video game, right, and
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: they are filtering that behavior through this concept of hostile masculinity.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: So the second that it has these two concepts. The
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: first is in regard to sexual aggression, is impersonal sex,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: which they've talked about for years as well, the idea
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: of basically casual sex. Now, let's be clear on this one.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I'm not a fan of the idea of casual sex.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I think it's it's actually unhealthy. I think there's there's
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: a lot of psychological engagement and potential damage that occurs
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: with habitual casual sex, especially promiscuous casual sex, where the
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: individual engages in sexual relationships with a lot of different
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: people instead of a part regular partner. I think there
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: are things that happen psychologically that that that are harmful
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: and painful and cause suffering that get denied a lot
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: by uh, you know, modern feminists, modern actually anybody that's
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: not it part of some conservative religion. And I don't
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: believe that shaming people for it is a good way
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: to deal with that. I think informing people of the
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: physical aspects of that psychological connection and everything is that's
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: more important. But feminists don't treat it like that. They
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: treat it as a right when women do it, and
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: as something that you are not allowed to criticize, you're
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: not allowed to deny access to, and you're not allowed
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: to not participate in when women want to do it.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: But what do they say when men want to do
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: It's it's associated with sexual aggression, right, And so they
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: don't call it the sexual revolution that allows women to
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: engage in a lot of casual sex. Uh, when you
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: know that that allows women to participate in a hookup
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: cultureout being judged. They talk about it as an aspect
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: a characteristic of sexual aggression, preference for a high frequency
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: of non committal, casual sexual relationships with little emotional attachment.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: There was, literally, by the way, a long running television
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: show in the United States following the behavior of for
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: women that that was the theme, called it Sex in
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: the City. It was very popular. I didn't watch it,
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: but it was everywhere. It's hard to avoid it. And
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: you know, it obviously did a lot for Kathy Griffin's
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: mental health to be involved with that show. Anyway. So
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: the hostile masculinity aspect of it, let me highlight that
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: so you can see it, because I know it's not
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: very big on the screen. See if it will highlighted.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Hostile masculinity is a set of traits associated with an insecure, defensive, distrustful, hostile,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: and domineering orientation toward women. Like that's the first thing
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: they have this whole litany, right, So if you're if
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: you are insecure around women. That's hostility. I want you
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: to think about that for a minute, all right, just
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: just for a minute. Imagine think about your school bully
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: when you were a kid, and you know, like, oh,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: you're you're you're intimidated by the bully. You don't want
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: to deal with the bully. You take steps to avoid
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: contact with the bully. You decide, you know that maybe
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: you don't need to go do this or that activity
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: because the bully might be present there and gain access
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: to you. That's in secure, defensive, and distrustful right right there,
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  Speaker 1: because you have a reason. So the first thing that
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: I will point out with hostile masculinity is it doesn't differentiate. Right,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: A man can have every reason in the world to
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: be insecure around women. Maybe he is unattractive and he
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: knows it right. Maybe maybe that is a solid self assessment,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: solid self assessment, and maybe he's insecure around women because
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: he knows that they don't like him just based on
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: that characteristic and if he has to interact with them,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: that they are going to view that interaction negatively unless
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: he takes extra measures that other men don't have to
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: take in order to change their mind about that. So
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: he has to be super super nice, super super.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Rich.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, super super rich or super super soy. He has
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: to praise them all the time. Right, flattery will get
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: you somewhere. It'll get you out of out of social
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: jail for having a nose that's too big or the
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: wrong shape, or having your eyes too close together or
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: having them be too small, having having no cheekbones, having
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: a weak chin or an over pronounced chin, or being
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: too fat or too short, or any other thing that
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: women might judge you for. You're not allowed to have
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: feelings about that, because if you do, feminists will call
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: you hostile. If you do anything to avoid women because
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: you know they don't want to be around you, feminists
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: will call you hostile. So avoiding your bully, taking your
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: your bully's opportunity to harass you away by being inaccessible
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: is hostility. What I said about Miss Claire and her
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: cluster b clusterfuck, that is a characteristic of narcissism. Being
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: being angry because your victim, your bullying victim, is unavailable,
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: and then blaming that victim for being unavailable and accusing
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: that victim of an attack for being unavailable narcissism. And
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: this is feminism. This is used to inform law and policy.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: Right, you're well, that's exactly what a narcissist would say.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: There you go. Your government here in the United States
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: and probably in the UK as well, is basing decisions
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: on what will become law and what will become policy
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: in regard to how men and women treat each other
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: and how the police react if somebody said they were
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: mistreated on the idea that if you are are concerned
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: of about being mistreated by women and you respond by
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: defending yourself right or distrusting them or avoiding them, then
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: you're hostile. Does that sound Does that sound reasonable to you? Guys?
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not fucking ridiculous. But then again that that's just
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: the privilege that women have that they don't recognize.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't do this thing. You do this thing, hello, police,
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: and the rest is history. Yeah.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: It goes on to say, you know, hostile. Obviously your hostile.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: If you're hostile, guys, this is this very important to note.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Your hostility is hostile and dumb veneering orientation toward women,
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: which is thought to emerge like domineering. So I look
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: at domineering and I think, all right, there are domineering men.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I've met domineering men. There are domineering women too. Is
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: it hostile femininity when women are domineering toward men? Is
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: it hostile femininity when a woman who has never been raped,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: who has never been threatened with rape, who has never
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: had any experience of being actually pursued by a predator,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: carries a rape whistle under the assumption that somewhere out
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: there is a man who is going to rape her
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: and she needs that in order to alert everybody in
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: the neighborhood that she's being raped. Is that that's just nagging.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: That's why we have this word nagging. You'll notice, when
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: a man does it, it's not called nagging. It's cold abuse,
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: it's got it's called all manner of dysphemisms and cophonisms.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: It's only called nagging when women do it, because when
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: a woman does it, it's just nagging and you should
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: just deal with it. And and unless it's back in
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: the day when apparently patriarchy was even worse, when if
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: your wife nags you, you can be punished for being
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: nagged by a woman. And that's totally not the case anymore,
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: because nowadays, if a woman nags you, you'll just get
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: shamed for being nagged by a woman. That's totally different. Now,
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: we don't do it by we don't do it by
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: bashing pots and pans in public anymore. We just get
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: you arrested and and divorced, and we get all your
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: shit taken away. It's a completely different ritual, you see.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Exactly, yep.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: And so.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: If a woman is insecure about men, it's not hostile masculinity.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: It's because men are bad, right. And if a woman
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: is defensive, if she carries mace in her purse, or
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: if she writes blog posts about how important it is
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: that women are aware of any men in the vicinity,
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: if she writes a blog post for ihollowback dot orger
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: dot com or whatever it is, it says, you know,
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: that she walked home from work and there was a
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: man following her the entire way, and her only evidence
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: is that he was on the same sidewalk she was,
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: and maybe like twenty or thirty feet behind her, even
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: if he kept walking after she turned down her street,
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: you know, or she went out of her way and
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: then turned back toward her street and he kept walking
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: like it, Even if she did all that this is
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: a blog post I've read before. I'm trying to remember
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: what exactly the woman said that had me so side.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: She went out of her way. She walked down a
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: different street and then turned a couple of times and
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: then turned back toward her street. And when the guy
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: didn't turn back toward her street, she assumed he'd been
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: following her and realized that she knew he was following
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: her and stopped. But she probably actually just went on
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: his route, And if she'd stayed on her route, he
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: probably would have not been on her behind her any longer.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: But when a woman writes a blog post like that,
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: that defensive, distrustful, hostile attitude toward that guy, that is
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: not considered hostile femininity.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: But when a guy suggests that, you know, if a
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: woman flirts with him, it shouldn't be a lie, that's
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: considered dominating orientation toward women. You you owe me, or
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: some such thing like that. No, just don't lie to him.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: That is considered an aspect of rape culture. That's considered
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: an aspect of sexual aggression, and that is written into
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: your law and policies that you have to deal with.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: And this is this is thought to emerge from your culture, right,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: if your culture values power, toughness, and dominance as masculine traits.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: So what what was that thing about these six, six
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: and six? Again, like, what do women select for in
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: men that is not on that list? Do women select
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: for powerful men? Yeah? Do women select for tough men?
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: Sure?
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: And do women select for dominant men?
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: Absolutely?
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: So who is to blame if men have these attitudes?
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Right, that's absolutely right, that's absolutely right. So there's a
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: story in the news about this basketball player and Mon Schumpert,
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: who is married to I don't even know what she does,
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: Tiana Taylor, but she's also you know, a celebrity or
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: whatever caliber. And you know, so they have a couple
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: of kids together, I think, And well, they decided to
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: get more borced. And the reason that they're getting too
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: borced is because there was infidelity. However, there was infidelity
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: on both sides of the marriage. Okay, but what happens,
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: what happens as a result of that divorce. She gets
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: ten million dollars, she gets four houses and some crazy stipend,
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: you know, payment a month. I think it's something like
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: forty thousand dollars. It's insane, insane. They both did the
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: same thing, but she walks away with the cash and prizes.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: And he gets publicly condemned for cheating on her.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Exactly, And I've seen that.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: With numerous relationships that broke up too, Like they both
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: cheat on each other. It happens pretty much simultaneously. There
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: isn't some description of this person started first and this
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: other person knew about it and responded with it. But
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: women will frequently assume that her cheating was revenge cheating
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: for his cheating. And I've even seen that happen in
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: stories where the couple both were cheating on each other
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: at the same time, and literally they didn't know each
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: other were cheating until, you know, one of them got
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: caught and in the course of the argument over it
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: finds out the other one was also cheating, usually with oh,
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: I'm well, I'm glad I was cheating on you too,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: or one of them confesses and asks for forgiveness and
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: the other one says, well, I did it too, And
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: that's not revenge cheating, right, that's both of them not
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: having a very solid marriage and both of them saying,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: you know, hey, I did this thing that hurt you,
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: and one's apologetic and the other one is defiant and
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: angry and using it as a weapon. And that happens
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: with both sexes. Both sexes do both of those things.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: But when women do one of them, society has compassion
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: and simp at and blames the man. When men do
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: one of them, society has condemnation and anger and blames
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: the man.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: Mm hm.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: And we have a couple of comments on that too,
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: Arman says. Even if she writes an article about how
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: she punched a random guy in a night nightclub and
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: gets praise praise about it, like the blue Haired Feminist
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: did a few years ago, I remember that, uh. And
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: let's see, we have it moved because there was a
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: new comment.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: Are you gonna narrow that down?
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: By the way, there's a lot of doores out there.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: But I do remember that there was an article a
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: while back where she she basically wrote that she had
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: some opinion or impression of the right for some behavior,
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: and I think she I think it was glassing, it
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: wasn't punching, and everybody praised her. Everybody clapped right. But
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: there's there's been a few articles like that where some feminists,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: uh wrote that a man was present in a location
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: where she was, and she made a bunch of assumptions
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: about what was on his mind or what his motivations
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: were for some action that he took that would otherwise
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: be completely innocuous, and.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: And and then he was like, yeah, you're you're not
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: all that and a bag of chips, baby, and she
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: classed him, and and and the media was like, Oh,
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: she's just got this insecurity card.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's she's she's not. She's insecure and defensive and
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: distrustful because men are bad.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: She's not insecure. And an insecure person would would would
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: lean into their insecurity and and wonder what they're doing wrong. Yeah,
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: this is a person. This is a person who's so
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: secure that if anyone even taps on the walls of
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: her security, she fucking glasses them. Yep. Like, I'm so
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: sick of people saying, oh, the only reason that a
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: woman would be so violent against men, it's because she's
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: so insecure. And if only she was more secure, if
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: only she loved herself more, baby, you just need to
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: love yourself more, and then you wouldn't.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: Then you wouldn't so much like, fuck off.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: Fuck all the way off. The reason these women do
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: this is because they love themselves so fucking much. You're
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: not going to cure this by telling them to love
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: themselves even more. That's only gonna make it worse.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Sorry, Yeah, oh you're you're absolutely right. Like I, I
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: actually was involved in an incident like this as an
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: unwilling participant when I worked at the pharmacy I worked
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: at when we first started Honey Badger Radio. This, this
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: chick comes in. I was a shift manager, right. She
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: comes in, she's all in a huff, and she starts
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: talking about this dude out in the parking lot that
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: is looking at her butt. And now here's my perspective.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: I'm at a cash register. I have a line of customers.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: They are all waiting to check out and leave, and
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: they don't have extra time for something not related to
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: business that they're doing in the store to take precedence
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: over them. So she starts out, you know, there's there's
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: a guy out there in the parking lot, you know,
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: behaving suspiciously, and you need to do something about it.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: And I can see out the windows. I'm like surrounded
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: on on, you know, by by windows. So I look
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: and the parking lot is pretty much aside from people's vehicles,
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: there's nobody out there except one guy, and he's he's
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: digging in his truck. He's he's got his back turned
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: to everything and he's digging in his truck. And so
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I'm assuming that's the guy she's talking about, and I'm like,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: is it that guy over there? Is that the guy
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: you're talking about? You know? She's yes, that that guy
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: is acting suspiciously. Well, what is he doing? He's right now,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: it looks like he's just getting things out of his truck.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, he was. He was staring at me.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: He is. He stood at his car and watched me
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: walk around my car and do things and then come in,
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: and he didn't take his eyes off me the whole
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: time that I was outside. I felt very uncomfortable. So
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: the whole thing that she was saying was this man
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: looked at her, And.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: How the hell can you even know what the man
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: what he's looking at? What anybody's looking at? Well, I
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: mean she's unless you're within a close proximity to one another,
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: can be looking at anything in the background.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: And that's the first thing I thought, Right, Well, how
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: do you know he's even looking at you? And I
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: was like, well, where were you parked, you know that
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: that he could see you from that angle, you know,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: like because I'm like confused at this point, and she's
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: like right there, and she points your car and is
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: right in front of the entrance. So my first reaction
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: is I'm thinking, oh, yeah, you know, this guy glanced
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: at the entrance and then started getting because you know,
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: he might have been looking for his prescription. We were
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: at a pharmacy. He might have been returning something, which
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: actually turned out to be the case. We had sold
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: him something that did not fully meet the description that
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: it was advertised for, and the aspect that it didn't
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: meet was important to his purpose for buying it, and
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: so I ended up giving him money. I refunded him,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: but which would have pissed her off if she hadn't
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: left by that time. But in any case, and I
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: doubt he looked for more than a second. I could
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: not find. In fact, I don't think he looked at all,
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: because I could not find later on camera where he
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: turned his head toward the entrance at all. So she
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: parked in the handicap spot in front of the entrance,
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: and she walked in in her athletic garb, and by
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: the way runners tights, not not runners tights and a
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: sport brad right, So it wasn't like, you know, I
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: would have stared at her for a minute if i'd
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: have been outside it because it wasn't that warm out,
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: no coat, no nothing to keep her warm, just but
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: she may have been in a heated car and a
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: lot of people do that, so but it would have
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: it would have definitely attracted my attention momentarily. But in
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: any case, so she comes in and does this right,
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: and she makes a big deal about it, and I
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: can see all of the other customers, male and female,
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: are rolling their eyes at this point, and you know,
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: talking about feeling unsafe and blah blah blah. And I'm like, well,
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: all right, you're in here and he's out there, why
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: don't you just wait right here until he leaves. Well,
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: he wasn't gonna leave. He was gonna come into the
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: store because he had business here. But the impression that
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: she had tried to create was that he came there
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: just to creep on women, and so that was her story.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: She didn't want to stick to it. She was very
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: upset and suggested that I wasn't taking her seriously, and
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, well, how seriously, Like are we talking?
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: You want me to call the police?
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: What are you?
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: What are you suggesting? Oh? No, you don't need to
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: get the police involved. And it finally I finally figured
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: out after she left, what she wanted me to do
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: was walk away from the cash register and that whole
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: line of people and go outside and tell that man
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: he had to leave the premises because he was harassing
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: a woman. But she never said that.
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: I'm going to annoy a lot of people, but I
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: say this, but it's so analogous to what I'm going.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: I'm going the go ahead and called dog people, why
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: did why did your why did your dog attack me?
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: Why did your dog run up to me and start
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: barking and start biting at me? And they go, well,
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: it's because they can smell your fear. It's not their fault,
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: you see, And it's not my fault. It's it's because
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: you were having bad thoughts, do you see, And dogs
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: can detect your bad thoughts. They telepathic, you see. So
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: it's not their fault that that they attack you, and
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: it's not my fault. Before you before you say, oh,
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: it's not the dog, it's their owner. It's it's that
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: it's that you were experiencing bad feelings, and so it's
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: your fault that you were attacked by my dog or
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: my woman. And I'm like, can you how how do
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: you demonstrate that? Fuck you about demonstrating that, like I
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: specifically have this thing for the sake of attacking you.
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: And if you go ahead and question that it's my
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: fault or my captive animal's fault, then it's even more
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: your fault. I don't think I've expressed this to the
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: best way possible.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: Well, it is something that happens, you're what you're talking
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: about is, yeah, people, people will poorly raise their dogs
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: or their daughters. And this, this this chick to have
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: this attitude, Like if I'd have acted like that, my
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: dad probably would have dragged me out of the store
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: and given me a lecture of my life about you know,
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: assuming what other people are thinking, and you know, having
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: being all egotistical and everything, and why the hell are
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: you dressed like that, especially when it's this cold outside.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: But this chick had obviously been taught differently, right, she
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: was more of an exhibitionist. And there's nothing wrong with
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: being an exhibitionist if you admit you're an exhibitionist, and
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: you make it a you know, mutual agreement between you
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: and the people who want to see you. So you
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: do it in the context of, for instance, going into
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: pornography with a partner who is is willing to work
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: with you, and you know it's not it's not a
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: problem for either of you, and you're not screwing around
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: with everything that moves, and you enjoy it, and the
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: people who watch it enjoy it, and you know you
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: have this mutually beneficial situation, like there's nothing wrong with
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: with that in and of itself. But when your exhibitionism
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: is accompanied by narcissism or an abusive nature where you
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: you want the attention but then you want to condemn
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: the people who give it to you for giving it
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: to you, then it's a problem. Then it becomes a
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: weapon and a tool of abuse and a means of
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: making it so that you can't have solid relationships with
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: other people and the people around you can't be comfortable
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: whenever you're there. And that's what this woman did. In
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: the end, she had a temper tantrum at everybody in
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: the vicinity and stormed out and left, didn't buy anything,
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: drove off squaled her tires and all that jazz. Granted,
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: the guy did look when she squaled her tires, But
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: and then I waited on that line of people. The
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: guy brought his thing in, he made his return, and
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: I told him what happened. Now was like, I could
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: see that you did nothing wrong, but if you see
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: that woman somewhere, avoid her because she's trying to accuse
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: you of things you didn't do. And then he left
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: and that was that. And later on that bitch came
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: back and complained to my manager that there was a
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: man harassing her, openly harassing her in the parking lot,
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: and I did nothing about it when she came to
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: check me about the problem. So when we went back
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: and checked on the video and discovered that she had
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: no contact with any person in the parking lot, didn't
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: look around, didn't seem nervous, came in, saw the line,
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: and then jumped in front of everybody to approach me
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: with this allegation. And saw she the manager watched how
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: the other people and everything were reacting, and she's like, you,
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: there was no way you could have handled that, that
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: would have gone any better with her. But it's pretty
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: obvious that she's lying, and you didn't do anything wrong,
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: and I didn't get in trouble. But if the manager
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: had been a feminist, she would have had a whole
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: different attitude. She wasn't. She was a a very down
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: to earth lady baby boomer who probably had seen more
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: than her fair share of women acting like this, right,
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: and that is like, I wouldn't be surprised if this
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: woman went back and wrote a blog post in which
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: she was harassed like that, like that description, you know,
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: And she came in to complain and the cashier was
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: rude to her and didn't listen to her and blamed her,
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: and she she gave some sort of brilliant lecture and
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: everybody clapped before she left, and then got me in
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: trouble with my manager for failing to torpedo some guy
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: who had done nothing wrong, which, you know, I'm sure
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: she probably to this day thinks that she got me
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: in trouble because there was no follow up. You didn't
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: come back to check. She just dropped her her bomb
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: and left and I don't think I ever saw her
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: again the whole two years I was working there. So
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: that's that's how women do that, right, And her insecurity,
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: her defensiveness, her distrust, her domineering attitude and behavior, her hostility.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: None of that is talked about by feminists. Women who
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: act like that. Feminists don't talk about that. They talk
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: about whether or not we believe them. Right, from a
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: feminist perspective, they would say that I invalidated this woman's experience,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: and looking at the camera and finding evidence that the
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: experience didn't happen is unfair and sexist behavior, and that
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: just because the camera doesn't show anything doesn't mean that
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: her experience wasn't real. Right, That's that that's how feminists
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: handle that stuff. We also had Galen Or Gabriel Phelan
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: Lucas said, when women cheat, are usually decided the relationship
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: is already dead. Yeah, that's true too. Women do this
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: thing when they're ending a relationship. Right, You'll see she
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: has less stuff at your place she started. In fact,
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: if there's a friend you're worried about, and you start seeing,
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: like her friend that you're worried about, a male friend
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: that seems to be getting closer and closer and you
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: you are also starting to see her come over less
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: and keep fewer things at your house, and you know
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: not not have as much personal intimate involvement in yours
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: as like part of your life, in your sphere of existence,
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: not just sex. But you know, her shampoo's in your bathroom,
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: and you know, like every so often you get mail
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: at your house for her, Like if that stuff starts
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: not happening anymore, that's a sign right there. But the
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: other thing that she'll do is maybe she's got shampoo
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: at his house, and maybe she started to keep some
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: other things at his place. And by the time she
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: leaves you, even if she has not had sex with him,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: she has been cheating with him for a period of
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: time much longer than just a few days, and she's
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: already in a relationship with him. Is they're already waiting
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: in the wings. The guy is already waiting in the wings,
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: and he already thinks that you have done something unforgivable
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: to her because she's already complained to him in that manner.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: That is pretty much how that happens. And it's one
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: of the reasons why it's like women think men are
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: domineering when they don't want you to have a bunch
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: of you know, a bunch of guy friends, like or
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: when when when you don't want them to have it.
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: I think you're domineering when when you don't want their
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: their primary group of a buddies to be male, it's
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: because every single one of them is going to try
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: to date her. And I've I've had that experience, Like
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: I'm it's easier for me to hang out with guys
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: when you're young. When you're in your twenties, and most
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: of your your female or most of your partner's friends,
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: your female partner's friends or dudes, every single one of
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: them is going to try to be better than you,
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: unless he's gay, you know, or unless he's got a
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: very solid relationship with another woman who he loves too
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: much to make that mistake. And I ended up having
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: to pay down my male friends because of that right
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: to where like I didn't spend a lot of time
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: with with guys, and I didn't spend time with them
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: away from my husband because I didn't want them to
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: think I was receptive to that. And it was a
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: it was a challenge, you know, something I didn't really
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: believe in until I witnessed it. And it's the only
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: guys that didn't try were guys that were in solid
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: relationships with awesome women that I knew that they didn't
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: want to screw that up. Yeah, so there you go.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: But yeah, back back to this. So I started looking
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: into this, right, those layers that I was talking about earlier, This,
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: this research on on this this scale, this at a description.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: I guess this overview the confluence model of sexual aggression,
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: and it references these same two bits of research Malmouth
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: nineteen ninety five and Malmouth nineteen ninety one, just references
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: them in reverse here and then Smith fifteen. So it
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: goes on, men who value cultural notions of masculinity may
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: develop insecurities about their embodiment of masculine ideals. All right,
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: I want to isolate that sentence and I'm going to
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: erase the gendered language people who value cultural notions of identity. So,
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: for instance, if you are a deacon at your church.
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: Let's say you're a deacon at your church. People who
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: value cultural notions of their identity. Your identity as a
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: deacon includes expectations for your character and expectations for how
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: your behavior will demonstrate that. And you're under pressure to
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: live up to those expectations because you know two things, right,
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: people are watching you to see if they trust you
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: to hold that position of influence, and then people are
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: also looking to you for guidance and for cues on
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: what they should do in similar situations to how they're
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: seeing you enact various behavior. Let's go the other direction.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: Let's say, yeah, I don't know you're a street hooker, right,
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: if you act very, very differently than the other street hookers,
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: wouldn't you expect people to judge you for that? In
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: your community, you value the cultural notions of your identity
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: based on what you do. If you are white or black,
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: or have a particular religion, or engage in a particular profession,
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: or have a particular hobby that you're with a large
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: group of people, say a gamer, right, if you're in
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: a large group of gamers, you would value the gaming
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: cultural notions of what is a gamer, and you might
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: develop insecurities if you feel like you are not living
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: up to that, if you're not going to get good,
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: if you can't master some aspect of the games that
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: you play, or you're not able to develop camaraderie with
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: your fellow gamers. So it's only bad if men who
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: value cultural notions of their masculine identity are in cure
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: about whether they are living up to people's expectations of
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: what makes them a man. Then it goes on this
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: could evoke behaviors that explicitly demonstrate masculine traits, particularly in
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: context of tenuous or threatened masculine identity. So here they
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: are condemning again if you act if you are worried
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: that people will think that you're not masculine, and so
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: you act like a man, that's apparently dangerous. Whin sexual relationships,
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: consolidation of power, feelings of dominance, and perceptions of control
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: may derive from sexual aggression. Additionally, aversive home environments, such
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: as those that encompass child maltreatment or interparental violence, may
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: produce chronic feelings of shame or inadequacy, attachment difficulties, or
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: aid the development of psychopathic personality traits and children. And
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: it jumps from that to this, So it doesn't really
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: give you a description of the issue with ident wanting
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: to identify as a man and wanting to demonstrate that
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: you are a man. It just makes the association by
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: jumping to this other side of it. Might be because
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: you know you were abused as a child, you might
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: feel a need to be a man because you were
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: abused as a child. You might feel a need to
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: be a man because you're a psychopath. You might feel
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: a need to be a man because you're shamed and
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: feeling inadequate, and therefore you need this dominance, control, and power.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: These distal factors can set men on a trajectory to
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: develop enduring cognitive schemas and destructive patterns of behavior that
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: are associated with hostile forms of masculinity. So what did
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: they do. They sort of couched in the middle of
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: all this to sort of cover it in ideas that
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: men are bad, the fact that the things that they
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: are upset about might be caused by child abuse. Who
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: abuses children the most.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: Nom mm hm.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: And historically HHS data. HHS data shows that in home
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: in household abuse, women perpetrate most of the time when
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: it's really egregious, when it leads to the death of
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: the child. About seventy percent of parents acting without the
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: other parent are are mothers. So this sort of.
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: The counter argument is, well, men abuse women, and so
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: women abuse children. Well, no, not necessarily, and none of
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: this stops women from abusing men. This is something men
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: and children have in common. I know it's weird to
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: suggest that there's anything men and children have in common,
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: but they do just as much as women and girls
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: have something in common. Men and boys have something in common,
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: and largely it's that men used to be boys, and boys,
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: much like girls, were raised largely by women, not just now,
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: not just a hundred years ago, but a thousand years ago,
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: ten thousand years ago. Women have been the primary raisers,
• 57:55
  Speaker 3: want of a better edged noun ofildren, be they girls
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: or boys, and the idea that boys can be raised
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: by women for the first ten years of their lives
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: and this has no effect on the rest of their lives.
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: Need I remind you of what of what Aristotle understood?
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: Since three thousand years ago, give me the boy until
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: the age of ten, and I will give you the man. Well,
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: it's women who have been given the boy until the
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: age of ten. For almost all, dare I say, all
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: of ascertainable human history, the boys have been given to
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: the women until the age of ten. I don't know
• 58:44
  Speaker 3: how Aristotle missed this, but apparently he did. Unless unless
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: unless we're missing something about how the ancient Greeks raised
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: their children. But as far as I know, children have
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: been raised by women for I mean literally all of
• 59:04
  Speaker 3: human history. And given the prospect that that boys retain
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: everything they learned from that early age and that they
• 59:16
  Speaker 3: were raised by women, they were raised to respect women.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: I know that's that's raised to generate women exactly.
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: I know this. This sounds insane not just to feminists
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: but to traditionalists, because even traditionalists will insist that children
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: are raised by women two at least the age of
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: puberty and whatnot. And and yet their minds are blown
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: by the idea that men become unassailably guynescentric by the
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: age of puberty. And you might ask, well, what can
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: we what can we possibly do to stop this from happening? Gee,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know. Maybe we should let men like have
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: at least an equal say in raising their children, and
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: maybe they might not grow up to be so kind
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: of centric. Mental I know, it's a mental idea. How
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: could this possibly be ascertained or gone through? Yeah, maybe
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: maybe we should let men raise their children. And I
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: know you're gonna go, what men men don't want to
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: raise their children? No, but by the age of ten
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 3: they definitely do. I mean, men don't like raising babies.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: Well, it depends on the mead.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: I know, I know, I know that too, is something
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 3: of of a stereotype that women know what to do
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: with babies and.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: Men don't bullshit.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: To some degree men, you know, men aren't going to
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: fucking stab their baby bees and fucking throw them off clips.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: You know, men, men also understand, you know that you're
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: supposed to be as tender as possible with a baby.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it's you know, to some degree, the stereotype
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 3: is true that when a baby is at its most helpless,
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: women are better at understanding that. That's why girls love
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: dolls and and boys love machines. That's that's why a
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: boy will, even at the earliest of age, will be
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: more obsessed with a clock face than a doll face,
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: and and and girls will be more obsessed with a
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: doll face than a clock face. But I'm at some age,
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 3: like at an even earlier age than the stereotype would suggest.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: Like men, men do get quite enamored by their children.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 3: And it's certainly towards the age of puberty that that
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: men become more centered on on what their children are
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: becoming because they because men want to teach their children
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: how to become independent, how to teach their children to
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: figure out how to live life for themselves and that
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 3: and that sounds contradictory because the idea of empowering a
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: child is sort of contradicted because you can't empower someone
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: by giving them power. The idea of empowering means I'm
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 3: encouraging a child to discover their own power. And that's
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: that seems to be what men are more interested in.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: They they they are they're more interested in in teaching
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 3: a child to discover their own power, certainly their boys.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's very difficult to get through to a
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 3: man that you can even do this with your daughters.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: You can even you can even encourage your daughters to
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 3: discover their own power. And that's not the same as empowering,
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 3: like empowering is. It's just this buzzword that means shielding
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 3: them from uh, from the harshness of the world. But no, no, men,
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: and by men, I mean fathers have this drive to
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: teach their children that look, uh, that the world will
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 3: throw all kinds of unpredictable forces upon you and at
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 3: some point in your life it's up to no one
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: but you to face those powers with your own resourcefulness.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: And yeah, that's that's an important difference between mothers and fathers.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: That that that that men realize this from a very
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: early age. And and yeah, it's it's not something that
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 3: you should teach to babies because because babies don't understand
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: understand this, like toddlers haven't developed the theory of mind
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: necessary to recognize that that that you have your own resources,
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: that you have your own way of dealing with these things.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: But this is why traditionally, for all of human history,
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: children have been raised by their mothers until a certain age,
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 3: and what that certain age is has fluctuated over the years,
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 3: but at some point, maybe let's say ten years old,
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 3: and average children handed over from their mothers to their
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 3: fathers so that they can understand that there's a harsh
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: world out there, and you need to understand that harsh world.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: So there's a few things that we should actually we
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: should actually clarify here because there are different cultural histories
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: that don't necessarily follow that traditional idea, and in fact,
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: most cultures throughout history to the industrial age did not
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: separate parenting between mothers and fathers. Men were not gone
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: from the home all day necessarily, and women were not
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: in the home all day the idea that you know,
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: you get up in the morning and you leave and
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: you don't come back until after a day's work is done,
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: and your family isn't involved, and all that is relatively new.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: And prior to that, you had a significant portion of
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: the world where each family pretty much had their own
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: it needed their own little farm. As areas became more urbanized,
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: that changed, but you had if they didn't have their
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: own little farm, they had their own business, which was
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: usually either in their home or in an area where
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: the family would all work together. And in the early
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: part of the industrial age, that is you know, that's
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: why children ended up working in factories and coal mines
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: and stuff. Because prior to the industrial age, you know,
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: if the whole family ran a farm, the children worked
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: on a farm. If the whole family ran a bakery,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: the children worked in a bakery. If the whole family
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: ran a business shoeing horses, the children worked in the barn.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: If they raised horses, the children worked in the barn.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: They If they did any specific thing, the children learned
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: it and the wife was involved. It was only until
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: we started shaping our culture as human beings in various
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: nations around urbanizing ourselves, creating a close knit set of
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: human habitations that didn't leave room for a whole home
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: business or a whole farm whole home farm. That that
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: that changed, And so fathers had involvement with their children
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: from birth and it was consistent and regular. Fathers are
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: different from mother's. Mothers encourage sense of security, and they
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: encourage the use of existing resources, like you know, the
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: mother's caregiving and the mother's love. Father's encouraged discovery learning.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: And discovery learning can be anything from I tasted something
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: and I didn't like it, so I'm not gonna eat
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: it again, to I, you know, I stuck my foot
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: in hot coals and I got burned. Something I gonna
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: do that again, you know, to hey, here's how this
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: works and how I can use it. And my my
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: dad did that with me when I when I was
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: a kid. And in regard to I think I've told
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: the rattle story a billion times, but I had this
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: is this goes back to infancy. I had a rattle
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: that had a handle that was a loop that you
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: it was plastic, so it was solid. It was it
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: wasn't flexible.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 3: The one you were going to tell the you Mike,
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 3: you're gonna tell the story about you working on hot coals.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, that one we've like my dad
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: used that as a discovery learning moment too, right.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 3: But well I haven't heard the one about the rattle.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: You're gonna hear it. So I had this it was
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: I even remember. It's this baby blue rattle and uh
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: it was made, you know, for a kid's fingers to
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: fit through the loop, to make it easier for a
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: child to hold on to an infant to hold on to.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: And I also had this little toy that was it
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: was a Christmas tree that was made out of concentric
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: rings of wood that sat on a wood platform that
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: had a pull that went up through the middle, and
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: they were, you know, consecutively smaller, and they were different colors,
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: something that somebody might make in a wood shop. And
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: then at the top was a red ball that fit
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: to sort of be the decoration at the top of
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: the Christmas tree and hold the other concentric circles down.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: And it was actually we used it as a Christmas
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: decoration when I was older. But that ball at the
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: top of the Christmas tree fit exactly like tightly but
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: exactly inside the ring of that rattle the handle, and
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: I could see that by looking at it. I could
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: tell I just looked at the hole, looked at the ball,
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: was like, that would fit in there perfectly. I could
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: probably put it through there if I wanted to. But
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: I can put it in there and have it be
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: in there. And knowing that I could do that, I
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: wanted to immediately like I had to prove to myself, Yes,
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: I'm right about this, I want to do this. So
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: I started messing with it. But I was so young
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: that I had not developed the hand coordination yet to
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: be able to hold the rattle and the ball and
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: apply the amount of direct pressure it took to get
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: it in there and have it not pop all the
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: way through or slide out on my hands or all.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: And I was do it, working at it, and working
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: at it was getting really frustrated, and every time I
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: would screw it up or it would go through instead
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: of stopping where I wanted it or all it, I would,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: you know, started fussing and stomping my feet and pounding
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: my fists on the floor and everything. My dad sees that,
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: so initially he thought, Oh, I'm gonna I can fix
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: this for her. Right, So he put the ball in
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: the hole and handed it back to me. That wasn't
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: when I wanted and I wanted to do it my
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: own self. How this works, right? So I lost it.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: I went ballistic, little baby, you know, throwing a temper
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: tantrum like little babies do. So he took it back out,
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: handed it back to me. Okay, let's see what's going
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: to happen. Well, I had seen how he did it,
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: so my determination doubled, and eventually I did it myself,
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: and I was very happy about it. And he told
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: that story later on in regard to figuring out what
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: kind of person I was and what kind of person
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: I was going to be, and how to help me develop.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: That was an important characteristic, that determination that it need
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: to independently achieve things and not have them done for me,
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: and stuff like that. That he then incorporated that into
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: his promotion of discovery learning in my life, and that
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: he gave me things to do, puzzles to solve, toys
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: to play with that were a little more complish. Caterd
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: then were intended for my age, not that I was
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: going to choke on, but enough that you know, it
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: might be a little frustrating for me when I first
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: start playing with it, until I get it figured out
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: and make it work, and then I would get that
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: sense of achievement. And I also would learn in the
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: process some bit of physics or some bit of you know,
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: the thing that you would intuitively understand gravity works. Items
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: that don't fit into spaces it turned one direction might
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: fit into that space if you turn it a different direction.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: You know, things like that, not formulas and stuff. That's
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: how fathers do things. My mother would have been flumnxed
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: by the whole idea of the rattle. She would have
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: been very frustrated with my getting upset that she had
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: solved the problem, and she would have been frustrated by
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: my continued efforts at solving it myself after I had
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: seen it. So even though she had the same personality
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: I did. And I know that because I had to
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: fight that tendency with my kid when we brought home
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: a bionical and I originally wasn't gonna buy it because
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: it was for kids like three or four years older
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: than my kid, and I'm like, I don't want him
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: to get frustrated. My dad was like, let him try it.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: If he has difficulty with it. Let him, let him
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: face the challenge and step in if he needs support.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: And so I bought it, brought it home and I
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 1: was like, wait, I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: be right back and then we can build this together.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: I came back out and he'd already done it. And
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: he did it because the bionical directions they didn't have
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: words he couldn't read yet, they just had pictures. And
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: this picture showed this item goes in this location and
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: that I'm you know, so it's just basically putting shapes together, right,
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: And I thought, oh, I didn't get a chance to
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: do with him. I was upset for a minute, and
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: I realized that he was incredibly happy to show me
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: that he could do it by himself. And it took
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: everything to be like, this isn't about me. Nothing was
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: taken away from me. He just had a moment of
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: independence that has to be fostered. And I had to
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: be careful about stuff like that because when my son
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: and it was little, when he was under five, we
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: didn't have the circumstances where my husband and I lived
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: together all the time. We had very bad economic circumstances
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: and that was my fault, and so I had to
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: not undermine the types of things that he did when
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: he was there because he wasn't going to be present
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: to stop me. And so my dad kind and stepped
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: in and filled the don't let mommy screw this up role,
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: and he did that with a lot of stories about
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: how he parented. When I was a kid, I didn't
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: have to be mom and dad. I just had to
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: be the kind of mom that understood how to not
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: undermine dad. And so that's that's kind of father involvement
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: during the early years, like historically, was much more common
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: than people think, and even in modern times, there is
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: a lot that was pick a lot of what people
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: believe is stereotypical. Dads come home from work and they
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: engage with their kids, and they engage with their kids
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: in ways they're different than the ways that mom engaged
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: with with the kids.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: Moms engage in in like, very coddling ways. Dads engage
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: in very independence encouraging ways. And so there's this research
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: that I have cited on a regular basis. Let me
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: see if I can move this to the window that
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: we're using so you can see it. The father involvement
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: Research Alliance did this ages ago the effects of father involvement,
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: and it explains, you know, involvement in early childhood involvement
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: measured as time spent together, quality of father child relationship,
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: mother's role in father involvement. Every MR should read this.
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: There's quite a bit that has been demonstrated. I don't know. Yeah,
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: there's a lot that's in paragraphs here that explains, like
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: different types of support kids would involve fathers from infancy
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: start demonstrating bene fits of father involvement. Infantsive highly involved
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: fathers is measured by amount of interaction, including higher levels
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: of play and caregiving activities. Are more cognitively competent at
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: six months than score higher on the Bailey Scales of
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: infant development, which those can be used to determine if
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: your child needs extra support. If your child has special
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: needs intellectually, but by one year, so we're talking way
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: before ten. By one year, they continue to have higher
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: cognitive functioning, are better problem solvers as toddlers, and if
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: higher IQs by the age of three, right when compared
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: with mother's father's talk with toddlers is characterized by more
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: wh questions, who, what, where? When, why, and of course
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: how where, which requires children to assume more communicative responsibility
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 1: in the interaction. There's another thing that's different between mothers
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: and fathers, right, mothers, oh, you got a little boo boo?
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 1: And me kids make it better here? You know, did
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: you have a tummy ache? Dads will be more like, okay,
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: what hurts? And a kid is not being treated like
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: they need to be coddled in having this discussion. They're
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: just being asked a question, and you know, do you
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: want a band aid? I can put a band aid
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: on that you know, and and and dad will put
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: the band aid on just like mom puts the band
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: aid on. But he doesn't talk about putting a band
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: aid on just like mom puts the band aid on.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: And the kids will prefer being coddled. Most people like
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: to feel others compassion for them. Most people like to
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: experience that. Right. It's not the dads don't have compassion,
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: it's that that was an exchange where the dad needed
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: information and so the kid learns that you can you
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 1: can treat your wound, you can deal with an issue
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: that you're experiencing without getting babied, and you still get
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: the band aid you still feel better, you still have
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: the medication that goes on the cut, and you're still
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: being taken care of. It doesn't have to be baby tops.
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: A lot of times, guys, little boys are more likely
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: to embrace not being babied, and they develop a preference
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 1: that maybe their mom not do that in front of
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: other people, and girls don't pick up on that. They'll
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: still want to be babied. They still want In fact,
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: it becomes not about the nail over time, and when
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: they hit adulthood and they have something to complain about,
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: they still want to be babied. But that's why they
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: get mad at men and why they've develop daddy issues. Right,
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 1: But kids have involved fathers because of those differences in communication.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: They talk more, they use more diverse vocabulary, They get
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: people to understand them better because of that, and they
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: speak more eloquently. They have longer utterances when interacting with
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 1: their fathers when they're little, and this continues through elementary school,
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: through secondary school, through post secondary school, into their relationships
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: with their partners and so on. What starts during the
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: tender years when the father is allowed to do his
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: type of nurturing without maternal interference continue us through to
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 1: benefit the child throughout the child's entire life.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 3: So the question, the question you need to ask yourself
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 3: is when has it gone too far? Like there's there's
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 3: the ways father fathers deal with things, and there's the
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 3: ways mothers deal with things, and yet they're both important,
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 3: like it's important for a child to have a mothering
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 3: instinct and a fathering instinct. But you have to ask
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 3: yourself when it's gone too far. And the feminist world
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 3: that has inflicted all our educational institutions has been telling
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 3: children for a long ass time like just put a
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 3: band aid over it, like forever, And if if fathers
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 3: have had any influence, they would be saying the band aid.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 3: Just go at that and do shit for yourself. And
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 3: you have to ask yourself when has the mothering instinct
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 3: gone too far? And here in the West we seem
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 3: to have been under the influence of the mother instinct
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 3: for a long time. Like no one ever says just
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 3: get it out there and rub some dirt into it all.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 3: All I they want to say is put a band
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: aid over it. It doesn't matter that you're going to
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 3: get raped and murdered by whoever it is, Just put
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 3: a band aid over it. Yeah, at what point do
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 3: you say the mothering instinct has gone a bit too
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 3: far and the fathering instinct has not been allowed to
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 3: go even to its to level one of its instinct.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 3: And this is like I've been trying, I've been trying
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 3: to get through to normies over the last twenty years
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 3: of this of this endeavor of ours, and it's really
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 3: difficult to get through. Two I don't I don't know
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 3: what you call them, Normies who've been convinced that the
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 3: leftist frame of mind is the way to go, Normies
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 3: who've been listening to the TV for some time. The
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 3: question you really need to ask is, Okay, when has
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 3: it gone too far? Like? I get it. You you
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 3: want the mothering instinct be instilled into people, but when
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 3: has it gone too far? I get it. You want
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 3: the fathering instinct to be to be pushed out of
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 3: people's instincts, But when has it gone too far? I
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 3: get it. You want infinite immigrants.
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 1: When has it gone too far?
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 3: When has it gone too far? And and they don't
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 3: have any answer, Like their answer is no, there's no,
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 3: there's no such things too far? And then you have
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 3: to just go well, then you're then you're an extremist.
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 3: Like I know you call me an extremist because I'm
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 3: trying to introduce like some like like some pushback on
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 3: your extremism. And and and you consider that too far,
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 3: like the idea that we should maybe deport all of
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 3: these illegals, and you think that's too far. Okay, but
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 3: how many how many immigrants is too far? How many
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 3: fatherless families is too far? And they have no answer.
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 3: They're just like, no, we we we we we don't
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 3: need fathers and we need infinite immigrants. None of this
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 3: is too far. And at that point you just have
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 3: to go, well, you're an extremist. That's exactly what extremism is.
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 3: Because you have no concept of what is too far
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 3: and so and so we can't have this argument because
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 3: you have you have you have no conception of what
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 3: is too far, and so we can't have this argument anymore.
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 3: And I just hope we can get along with each
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 3: other when it comes to anything, and and and then
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 3: you just have to try and work this out until
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 3: it becomes so so so impossible to even live together
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 3: that you just have to say, okay, we've we've been
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 3: going along with this concept of yours, where well, you
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 3: have no conception of what is too far before we go, okay,
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 3: we've we've been living with with your unassailable extremism for
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 3: this long that I'm like, what the fuck do we
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 3: even do anymore? What even works anymore? When you have
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 3: no concept of what is too far? To the dare
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 3: I say? Left? I don't even know how I how
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 3: I describe this because we're dealing with normies who think
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 3: that the extreme left is the sensible center and that
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 3: and they just keep going, No, no, we just we
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 3: just keep need to We just need to keep going
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 3: in this direction because there's no such thing as too
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 3: far in this direction. And I'm like, oh, fuck me, what,
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 3: I don't know how I even argue with you when
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 3: you have no conception of what is too far. You
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 3: keep calling me the extremist, but you have no conception
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 3: of what is too far in the opposite direction of
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 3: what you call extremists, So fuck me? What do we do?
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 3: What do we do? And I don't I don't even know.
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: Well, for one thing, we know we've gone too far
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 1: when we start developing the idea that people can replace
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 1: other people who are dramatically different from them in ways
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 1: that make their part in a communal effort, like raising
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: a child or being involved in a community essential, in
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 1: a way that is different than the replacer. So for,
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 1: in the feminist idea that women single mothers can do
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: at all, I have to be the mother and the father. No,
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 1: you can't do that. You don't have the capability. It
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 1: doesn't exist. You are not the mother and the father.
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 1: You might be. It's possible for you to be a
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: stellar mother, so stellar that you mitigate some of the
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: effects of loss of father involvement, but you can never
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 1: be the same as having two parents. There is no
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 1: pathway a woman can take. They can make her the
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 1: same as a child growing up with both mother and father,
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: And the same is true if you take the mother
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: out of the picture and the child is only raised
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 1: by the father. Right, And a good way of explaining
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: this is to tell you the two different ways my
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 1: husband and I reacted to childhood temper tantrums as parents. Right,
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 1: My son wanted the big candy bar at the grocery store.
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 1: They had those candy bars that were like if you
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 1: took you know, three or four or six, I guess
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 1: Hershey bars regular sized Hershey Bars, and you may put
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 1: them all together in a line. They had a candy
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 1: bar that was a big chunk of chocolate like that.
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 1: It was like a pound, and they only sold him
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: around certain holidays, and you know they were you were
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 1: supposed to break them up and share with people. And
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: he saw that, you know, it was like as big
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: as his whole belly, and he wanted it. And I
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: offered to let him get. You know, we'll get this
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 1: bag of little kid sized candy bars and you can
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 1: have a candy bar that won't give you a tummy
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 1: ache after supper. You know. No, he was really upset,
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 1: you know, little kid, very not ready to behave in public.
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 1: And so he did the spaghetti limbed angry kid dance
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 1: with the whole song of his people they want the
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: big candy bar. And I looked at him, and there's
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: of course people looking at him, and I started stumping
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 1: my feet and being spaghetti limbed and singing this song
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 1: of my people. No you can't have the big kni bar.
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 1: And he just stopped and he looked up at me.
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: He goes, Mom, don't do that, because of course everybody's
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 1: staring at me. It's like why shouldn't I do that?
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 1: You did it, Mom, that's embarrassing, Like, well, why isn't
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 1: it embarrassing when you did it? You look the same
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 1: doing it as I do. And this realization crosses his face.
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I look like that. I'm never doing
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: this again. Right. My husband was with him when one
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 1: of the gals was having one of their little early
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 1: meltdounds and she starts, you know, she's been with mom
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 1: exclusively for a couple of months because Mom wouldn't let
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: her see dad, and she get something she wanted and
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: she starts, you know, himing and hawing and acting like
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: she's gonna throw a fit. Granted she's a few years
• 1:32:08
  Speaker 1: older than this situation with my son, but he just
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 1: looks at her, makes eye contact so that he knows
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 1: that she's paying attention to him, and he said, you
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: cut that out. That stopped it immediately, no problem. And
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 1: you could tell that at some point in their history
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 1: he had established an authoritative response to it, not an
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 1: explanation of this is what other people see when you
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 1: do this, and it's important for that authoritative response to exist,
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 1: and it's important for that authoritative relationship to exist between
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 1: fathers and their children, because there are times when the
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 1: child is going to do something that is not anywhere
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 1: near as harmless as a temper tantrument. Temper tantrent is
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 1: something that you know sucks to experience it, and then
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 1: it's over, right, unless you know you're over eighteen and
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 1: it involves destruction and property. You're hitting somebody and then
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden you go to jail, right, or
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 1: you know, you bring home a twenty three year old
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 1: truck driver named Tiny when you're seventeen and your father
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 1: has to inform him that you're not twenty one, you
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 1: discover that he really isn't interested anymore. That's a It's
• 1:33:32
  Speaker 1: one of those situations that moms don't have a handle
• 1:33:36
  Speaker 1: on the way that fathers do. It is important for
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 1: kids to understand their image in the world, but it's
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 1: not the only thing that should guide their behavior. They
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 1: should have a recognition there is always going to be
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 1: some degree of authority or power that they don't have
• 1:33:59
  Speaker 1: that can be enforced upon them that they are going
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 1: to have to respect. And it doesn't matter whether it's
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 1: in terms of how they learn to respect and react to.
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter whether it's a an actual authority, a
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 1: government or something like that. Whether it's gravity works, you know,
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 1: so you better respect it. It's going to happen, or
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 1: whether it's your community is going to react a certain
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 1: way regardless of what you think if you violate very
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 1: strongly held community norms. Kids have to have that understanding
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 1: or they get themselves into circumstances with their where they
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 1: are going to face consequences regardless of whether it's right
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 1: or wrong for those consequences to be imposed upon them.
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 3: All we can do is explosions. A woman can provide
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 3: a wealth of bigh pitched explosion like uh, like those
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 3: kind of uh paper based fireworks that we have a Halloween,
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 3: the ones that go. But a man can provide an
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 3: explosion with so much base that it actually rocks the room, right,
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 3: and you know that's a sort of fortunate eventuality of life.
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 3: But yeah, men have deeper voices than than than women.
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 3: And children respond to deep basic explosions for no logical
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 3: reason reason just uh, you know, basic explosions affect everyone
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 3: more than trebly explosions, and it just so happens men
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 3: have deeper voices.
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, well, well, there is there's more to it
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 1: than that like, there's a posture, there's the eye contact
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 1: thing matters too, And and there is also a history
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 1: of you know, moms will do this thing right, you're
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 1: gonna be in trouble. I'm gonna I'm gonna ground you,
• 1:36:16
  Speaker 1: you know, or moms will get out the motorcycle. A
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 1: dad will be like no, the mom will be like no,
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 1: no no no no no no no no no no
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 1: no no. If you have to say it a bunch
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 1: of times and not more than once, you're not saying
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 1: it effectively.
• 1:36:35
  Speaker 3: This is why you should be sparing with the word no.
• 1:36:38
  Speaker 3: And it comes to I've realized this, this is an
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 3: arrogant thing for me to say because I've never had children.
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 3: But and the more you say any sound to a child,
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 3: the more deconditioned they've come to it. So you have
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 3: to be very sparing with the word no.
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 1: There are a couple of things with no. Has to
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 1: always mean what you're saying. It has to be understood
• 1:37:06
  Speaker 1: that it has authority behind it. And it cannot just
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 1: be your default answer to everything you don't want to
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: think about, because the minute it is your default answer
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 1: to everything you don't want to think about, it creates
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 1: a reason for your child to push back, and it's
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 1: not bad if your child tries to negotiate and when
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 1: you when you say no, Like there are times when
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 1: especially moms, right mom, Mom is asked can can we can?
• 1:37:40
  Speaker 1: I I want you know whatever? And the thing that
• 1:37:44
  Speaker 1: follows that is is something that involves mom having to
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 1: do some work and she's tired, she doesn't want to
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 1: do that work, and she'll say no. If the kid
• 1:37:56
  Speaker 1: negotiates a way to mitigate that work or offer a
• 1:37:59
  Speaker 1: value you for that work, Mom should consider a yes
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 1: in that circumstance if the reason for not saying yes
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 1: before wasn't because if the kid gets the thing the
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: kid is asking for, it's going to do harm to
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 1: the kid or put the kid at risk. Then consider
• 1:38:21
  Speaker 1: and teach the kid to negotiate by bringing back a
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 1: counter offer and hashing out the details. And then when
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 1: you make an agreement, you live up to your end
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 1: of that agreement and you hold the child to his
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 1: end of that agreement. That's what dads do. You know
• 1:38:42
  Speaker 1: a lot of times, yeah, kids will start attempting a thing.
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna do this, and it'll be I'm
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 1: gonna climb this tree. I'm gonna build this huge snow fork,
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 1: and you know, whatever it is, Mom puts a cabash
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 1: to it, because maybe the snow fork isn't a bad location.
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 1: You can't put that in front of the door, right,
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 1: We have to be able to get in and out
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 1: of the house. But instead of telling the child you
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 1: can't put that in front of the door, we have
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 1: to be able to get in and out of the
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 1: house like dad. You know, let's let's maybe do it
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 1: over here like Dad would. A lot of moms will
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 1: say stop doing that and that's the end of the story.
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: Or instead of being present and making sure that if
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 1: the child falls out of the tree his first time climbing,
• 1:39:31
  Speaker 1: you don't allow him to get too badly hurt like
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 1: Dad would, Mom freaks out, get down from there, Oh
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 1: my god, what are you gonna do. You're gonna break
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 1: your arm and the child is afraid to climb trees
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 1: from now on.
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 3: Or at some point, your kid is gonna stick a
• 1:39:45
  Speaker 3: fork into the electric socket. And when you shout no,
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 3: you better make sure that it's something the kid hasn't
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 3: heard very yuch, because it's if it's something you shout
• 1:39:56
  Speaker 3: every time your kid plays Nintendo. Then the kid is
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 3: just gonna think, no, it's just this noise like hair
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 3: every now and again. It doesn't really mean it. But
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 3: if you don't often say no, and as the moment
• 1:40:09
  Speaker 3: you shout and know when they put a fork in
• 1:40:12
  Speaker 3: the plug socket, they're gonna go oh oh ship and
• 1:40:15
  Speaker 3: they're gonna stop doing what they're doing.
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 1: Yep. Yeah, Bridgard Beierre points out, I didn't try to
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 1: negotiate for I tried to steal my brother from my mother.
• 1:40:29
  Speaker 1: That is true, it's my baby. On the other hand,
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 1: my mom wasn't far enough away that that that was
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 1: gonna work either. The minute I started trying to pick
• 1:40:39
  Speaker 1: him up by myself, she was right there, you're not
• 1:40:41
  Speaker 1: strong enough to do that. Let's sit on the couch
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 1: and you can hold him in your lap. But wait
• 1:40:47
  Speaker 1: until you're older to try to pick up a baby.
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 1: And that was That was kind of an interesting exchange
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 1: because I was like, oh shit, I've been caught, and
• 1:40:55
  Speaker 1: then she let me hold a baby anyway, But then
• 1:40:57
  Speaker 1: we did have to have the discussion that that to no,
• 1:41:01
  Speaker 1: this is my baby, he's your brother, and your relationship
• 1:41:04
  Speaker 1: is brother and sister, not mother and child. So don't
• 1:41:07
  Speaker 1: treat him like he's your baby. It was a very
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 1: hard thing for me our whole life when when he
• 1:41:12
  Speaker 1: was little, because he was such a cute little kid.
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 1: But yeah, that's that's basically, you know, you can't discount
• 1:41:21
  Speaker 1: the vital importance of fathers in a child's life. And
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 1: to bring it back to the main discussion, you know,
• 1:41:29
  Speaker 1: we mentioned the development of personality traits and children, right,
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 1: and they say psychopathic because they're talking about various things
• 1:41:40
  Speaker 1: child maltreatment, maltreatment, interparental violence, and so on. Right, These
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 1: things happen when parents do not pick out good partners
• 1:41:51
  Speaker 1: and they don't raise the child together, or they don't
• 1:41:55
  Speaker 1: work well together, and they create a hostile living environment
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 1: for the child. Most abused children are in single mother homes. Right.
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 1: Kids to see interparental violence are often most often in
• 1:42:15
  Speaker 1: homes where the violence takes place between the parents going
• 1:42:21
  Speaker 1: both ways, and the majority of that violence is female initiated.
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 1: Most of the kids that grow up in homes where
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 1: the interparental violence only goes one way are witnessing mommy
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 1: attacking daddy and not the other way around.
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 2: That.
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 1: Feminists talk about this like it's all daddy beating on
• 1:42:41
  Speaker 1: mommy after he comes home drunk from the bar, or
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 1: like that, which is it's like thirty percent of one
• 1:42:51
  Speaker 1: way violence, which is the minority of violence in relationships,
• 1:42:56
  Speaker 1: not the majority. It's usually starting an argument over something
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 1: escalating to pushing and shoving and chest poking and stuff
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 1: like that, or you know, waking him up by pouring
• 1:43:11
  Speaker 1: boiling water on him while he's laying in the couch
• 1:43:13
  Speaker 1: trying to sleep. So and quite often it's not just
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 1: dad that she assaults, it's the kids too, So it's
• 1:43:22
  Speaker 1: not it's not as cut and dry as feminists make
• 1:43:24
  Speaker 1: it out to be. But this idea of hostile masculinity
• 1:43:29
  Speaker 1: actually comes from an old piece of feminist writing masquerading
• 1:43:36
  Speaker 1: his research called the confluence Mediational Model of sexual aggression.
• 1:43:42
  Speaker 1: And this is headed up by this Neil M. Malamouth
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 1: that was This was done in nineteen ninety one, and
• 1:43:53
  Speaker 1: the first thing he does in it is sight himself right,
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 1: inspired by Malamuth and Arab's nineteen eighty four pioneering theoretical
• 1:44:03
  Speaker 1: perspective on a multi factorial approach to conceptualizing sexual aggression,
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 1: which sounds like a mouthful of gobbledygook, but what it
• 1:44:14
  Speaker 1: says there is. In nineteen ninety four, feminists made up
• 1:44:18
  Speaker 1: the idea, a theoretical perspective, and an idea that sexual
• 1:44:26
  Speaker 1: aggression has is actually a result of a spectrum of
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 1: causes all converging in one person to affect their behavior.
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 1: And it's possible, it's possible that they were correct on that,
• 1:44:43
  Speaker 1: and it's possible that that was logical and rational and
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 1: not necessarily intended to demonize men. But I'm not going
• 1:44:51
  Speaker 1: to hold my breath, right. So it goes on to
• 1:44:56
  Speaker 1: explain that there was the first model was published at
• 1:45:03
  Speaker 1: that point, that was the original description of it. Kind
• 1:45:07
  Speaker 1: of like if I were going to explain to you
• 1:45:09
  Speaker 1: how the origins of the term accountability gap in men's
• 1:45:13
  Speaker 1: rights activism, and if I was going to I'm not
• 1:45:20
  Speaker 1: gonna say that I'm the first person that ever talked
• 1:45:22
  Speaker 1: about it. I think I might be the first person
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: that ever called it that label, but the men's rights
• 1:45:28
  Speaker 1: movement has been talking about it for a century. I
• 1:45:33
  Speaker 1: would go back to Backs, Ernest Belford Backs, the writings
• 1:45:38
  Speaker 1: of Ernest Belford Backs, and the way that he described
• 1:45:42
  Speaker 1: differences in expectations for personal accountability between men and women
• 1:45:49
  Speaker 1: and if I, you know, would then go forward and
• 1:45:52
  Speaker 1: say the term itself. The first use I'm aware of
• 1:45:56
  Speaker 1: the term itself is when I described it in response
• 1:46:01
  Speaker 1: to the wage gap myth being perpetuated by feminists and
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 1: how they went to They went from describing women's activities
• 1:46:13
  Speaker 1: in the workplace as equal to men, and when that
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 1: was disproved, they're like, well what about housework? Like housework
• 1:46:22
  Speaker 1: is something you do for yourself at home. Your employer
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: doesn't owe you anything for that. They couldn't even take
• 1:46:27
  Speaker 1: accountability for being wrong about that gap, and that gap
• 1:46:30
  Speaker 1: demonstrates that women are less accountable for their family finances
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 1: than men are. But so that's where I kind of like,
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 1: this thing that I've been reading about and seeing discussed
• 1:46:45
  Speaker 1: all these places that MRAs have been talking about for
• 1:46:48
  Speaker 1: a century, we should call it the accountability gap, and
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 1: because that's basically what it is, and that's where the
• 1:46:59
  Speaker 1: term came from. But the concept is definitely not something
• 1:47:03
  Speaker 1: that I came up with, right.
• 1:47:06
  Speaker 3: So.
• 1:47:11
  Speaker 1: Marshall and Barbie's pioneering. It's not a self citation there.
• 1:47:16
  Speaker 1: This is the first self citation here, and this one's interesting.
• 1:47:19
  Speaker 1: But Marshall and Barbie's thing Barabie's thing. That isn't necessarily
• 1:47:26
  Speaker 1: the first iteration of the idea that sexual violence like
• 1:47:30
  Speaker 1: sex crime commission, that its causes might be a spectrum
• 1:47:36
  Speaker 1: of influences in an individual's life. That has been discussed
• 1:47:41
  Speaker 1: in regard to perpetration of violent crimes since at least
• 1:47:49
  Speaker 1: at least the early sixties, if not prior to that,
• 1:47:53
  Speaker 1: that a kid who grows up without a dad, for instance,
• 1:47:57
  Speaker 1: is more likely to become a perpetrator of violent crime,
• 1:48:03
  Speaker 1: That a kid who grows up in a violent environment
• 1:48:06
  Speaker 1: might have that issue, That a kid who has some
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 1: sort of childhood mental health condition that doesn't get treated
• 1:48:13
  Speaker 1: might have that issue. And certain personality characteristics make individuals
• 1:48:19
  Speaker 1: vulnerable to developing like patterns of selfishness that would make
• 1:48:27
  Speaker 1: them think it's justified to steal or something like that,
• 1:48:30
  Speaker 1: like those things of what we're all talked about for
• 1:48:33
  Speaker 1: ages before feminists came along and said, oh, we're going
• 1:48:35
  Speaker 1: to apply this to sex crimes and limit it to men.
• 1:48:42
  Speaker 1: So the confluence, the original confluence model of sexual aggression. Here,
• 1:48:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I can highlight this. It's not
• 1:48:50
  Speaker 1: gonna let me do that, all right, confluence model of
• 1:48:52
  Speaker 1: sexual aggression was the first published model to present an
• 1:48:55
  Speaker 1: imperial empirical framework for this approach, recognizing that it wasn't
• 1:49:02
  Speaker 1: just one thing that caused somebody to become a criminal,
• 1:49:07
  Speaker 1: specifically when it's men committing sexual aggression. And then it
• 1:49:12
  Speaker 1: gives the the citations, and the second citation is uh
• 1:49:17
  Speaker 1: malamouth uh Seklowski costs in Tanka. So people should recognize costs.
• 1:49:28
  Speaker 1: You all recognize costs. We're gonna we're gonna probably stop
• 1:49:34
  Speaker 1: with this. But just just Mike and Lauren, do you
• 1:49:36
  Speaker 1: recognize that name? You're both muted. You gotta unmute.
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 2: I definitely a recommend, recommend what is wrong with me?
• 1:49:47
  Speaker 2: Remember that name?
• 1:49:47
  Speaker 1: Yes? And Mary P. Costs. Mary P. Cosse is the
• 1:49:55
  Speaker 1: woman who defined her her once. It was nineteen ninety three,
• 1:49:59
  Speaker 1: so just a couple of years later, after after this
• 1:50:03
  Speaker 1: nineteen ninety one thing, she wrote that it is that
• 1:50:09
  Speaker 1: it's not right to call it rape when a man
• 1:50:14
  Speaker 1: experiences forced sex and a woman is a perpetrator. And
• 1:50:20
  Speaker 1: she didn't provide any reasons, right, there was there's no
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 1: reason at all, just oh we we shouldn't also call
• 1:50:28
  Speaker 1: it rape when a woman forces sex on a man
• 1:50:32
  Speaker 1: against his will.
• 1:50:38
  Speaker 2: Because reasons, yep, just reasons are the reason.
• 1:50:45
  Speaker 1: So this is who helped come up with this confluence model,
• 1:50:51
  Speaker 1: and then and then it's been used for other work
• 1:50:55
  Speaker 1: support for other work. The empirical framework also led to
• 1:50:59
  Speaker 1: some theore developments designed to explain the reasons for the
• 1:51:02
  Speaker 1: particular characteristics of sexual aggressors. Like sexual aggressors, when you
• 1:51:08
  Speaker 1: actually examine the character, the personality, traits, the thought patterns,
• 1:51:14
  Speaker 1: and behaviors are sexual aggressors. Which one of the things
• 1:51:16
  Speaker 1: you find out with the ones that are male is
• 1:51:20
  Speaker 1: they belong to that extreme minority of the male population
• 1:51:25
  Speaker 1: that is criminally violent overall, the ones that are more
• 1:51:30
  Speaker 1: likely to mug you to get money to do something
• 1:51:33
  Speaker 1: that they want to do instead of getting a job. Right,
• 1:51:37
  Speaker 1: that's the overwhelming majority among male sexual violence perpetrators. There
• 1:51:45
  Speaker 1: are other instances, other situations. There are guys that commit
• 1:51:50
  Speaker 1: crimes of force while they're drunk or otherwise impaired because
• 1:52:02
  Speaker 1: they they're they're their judgment is impaired, and you have
• 1:52:07
  Speaker 1: to wonder often the one time perpetrators, but that other
• 1:52:11
  Speaker 1: are what does does about ninety six percent? If I
• 1:52:15
  Speaker 1: remember the research of sexual sitration.
• 1:52:18
  Speaker 3: It is this just a Western problem that only appeared
• 1:52:22
  Speaker 3: because of mary costs. And then you have to wonder
• 1:52:26
  Speaker 3: if this is a problem that appeared in the Third
• 1:52:30
  Speaker 3: World not because of a merry cost, but because of
• 1:52:36
  Speaker 3: a general consensus that appeared in the East and the
• 1:52:44
  Speaker 3: Middle East and the Southern East, which will go and
• 1:52:49
  Speaker 3: go ahead and go Africa, and so a whole bunch
• 1:52:51
  Speaker 3: of well what what the what? What the costs outlook
• 1:52:59
  Speaker 3: resulted in was a bunch of men who were convinced
• 1:53:04
  Speaker 3: that if they were sexually assaulted, it was their fault.
• 1:53:10
  Speaker 3: And so if they grew up thinking that there's nothing
• 1:53:15
  Speaker 3: wrong with sexual assault, they go a bunch of women, Well,
• 1:53:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, I mean, you guess you, I guess you
• 1:53:27
  Speaker 3: can blame them, blaming them for that in some way,
• 1:53:30
  Speaker 3: because because everyone's responsible for their own actions. But if
• 1:53:35
  Speaker 3: you convince a country full of men that if they
• 1:53:39
  Speaker 3: were sexual sexually assaulted then it was their fault, then
• 1:53:45
  Speaker 3: is it any wonder that they grew up thinking sexual
• 1:53:48
  Speaker 3: assault is okay? And then you go on to wonder,
• 1:53:54
  Speaker 3: like I said, is this just a Western problem? How
• 1:53:59
  Speaker 3: many country out there are full of men who were
• 1:54:03
  Speaker 3: already long since convinced that if they were sexually assaulted
• 1:54:07
  Speaker 3: by women, then it's perfectly okay for them to sexually
• 1:54:09
  Speaker 3: assault anyone, especially women, what with them being heterosexual males.
• 1:54:17
  Speaker 3: And so there's a whole bunch of countries out there
• 1:54:19
  Speaker 3: who don't even have a marriage, but they've nevertheless been
• 1:54:22
  Speaker 3: convinced that if they were subjected to sexual assault, that
• 1:54:27
  Speaker 3: they can therefore go on to commit sexual assault, and
• 1:54:30
  Speaker 3: so they do in their countries, and then their countries
• 1:54:34
  Speaker 3: get sick of them doing that, and so they send
• 1:54:36
  Speaker 3: them away to whatever country will take them. And then
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 3: you get the kind of problems that we in the
• 1:54:46
  Speaker 3: West are experiencing. As much as we've been as much
• 1:54:52
  Speaker 3: as the men in the West have been demoralized into
• 1:54:56
  Speaker 3: making sure they never approach women. Don't you dare ever
• 1:55:01
  Speaker 3: approach women for any reason, even if you just want
• 1:55:04
  Speaker 3: to to give them flowers and chocolates and lavish them
• 1:55:10
  Speaker 3: with them with perfectly chivalric attention. But but you've been
• 1:55:21
  Speaker 3: demoralized into into one of doing it in the most
• 1:55:25
  Speaker 3: romantic possible terms. Other countries haven't had this development. Other
• 1:55:33
  Speaker 3: countries such as in the Middle East and Africa, and
• 1:55:39
  Speaker 3: indeed India have never had this chivalric code drilled into them.
• 1:55:47
  Speaker 3: They've just been raped by women for their whole lives.
• 1:55:51
  Speaker 3: Because because again those those those women have never been
• 1:55:56
  Speaker 3: taught that it is wrong to rape boys. But because
• 1:56:01
  Speaker 3: there's such a glut of these men in all these
• 1:56:04
  Speaker 3: countries who've been raped by women and not being taught
• 1:56:08
  Speaker 3: that it's wrong to rape people, they go on to
• 1:56:13
  Speaker 3: do all this ship and so their countries eject them
• 1:56:17
  Speaker 3: from those countries, and they send them in the direction
• 1:56:20
  Speaker 3: of the west. And so they go to the west,
• 1:56:25
  Speaker 3: and they and they take these philosophies with them, where
• 1:56:32
  Speaker 3: upon the countries they land in continue to blame their
• 1:56:37
  Speaker 3: own native men for these for these outlooks, and and
• 1:56:46
  Speaker 3: and it and this ideal ideology multiplies where men get
• 1:56:53
  Speaker 3: raped by women, I mean, boys get raped by women,
• 1:56:56
  Speaker 3: and then they grow up to be men who have
• 1:56:59
  Speaker 3: no sense of boundaries and and and and and and
• 1:57:05
  Speaker 3: so they rape and yeah, well, well they sexually harass women,
• 1:57:09
  Speaker 3: the any women that can get away with and it
• 1:57:12
  Speaker 3: all gets blamed on the native men who have already
• 1:57:14
  Speaker 3: been demoralized into not doing that. I mean, I should
• 1:57:26
  Speaker 3: I should summarize what I mean. Women rape boys everywhere
• 1:57:34
  Speaker 3: all over the world, and so they either escape to
• 1:57:40
  Speaker 3: other countries or they are pushed away into other countries
• 1:57:46
  Speaker 3: where they can where they can act out these instincts
• 1:57:53
  Speaker 3: they've developed as a result of being raped by women. Yeah,
• 1:57:57
  Speaker 3: and so and so and so they they have they
• 1:58:00
  Speaker 3: have no boundaries when it comes two women. And so
• 1:58:08
  Speaker 3: the cycle continues where they are not held accountable for
• 1:58:15
  Speaker 3: the habits that have been drilled into them as a
• 1:58:18
  Speaker 3: result of being raped by women. And they're not. It
• 1:58:25
  Speaker 3: doesn't it's not even it's never drilled into them that
• 1:58:29
  Speaker 3: they shouldn't do this. It's only ever drilled into the
• 1:58:32
  Speaker 3: native men who have already long since been demoralized into
• 1:58:38
  Speaker 3: into never approaching women whatsoever. And it's there. Everyone had
• 1:58:49
  Speaker 3: a merry costs. Well, it's we have a merry coss.
• 1:58:58
  Speaker 3: They they were just raped by the by but by
• 1:59:03
  Speaker 3: nameless women. We we were raped by merry costs women.
• 1:59:10
  Speaker 1: Merry Costs has been exported all over the world by
• 1:59:12
  Speaker 1: the United States. Every country has been influenced, every every culture,
• 1:59:19
  Speaker 1: every country's law and policy has been influenced by the
• 1:59:24
  Speaker 1: work of this woman who wrote that it's not rape
• 1:59:27
  Speaker 1: when a woman forces unwanted sex on a man. Or
• 1:59:30
  Speaker 1: a boy.
• 1:59:32
  Speaker 3: I think it might be naive to assume it started
• 1:59:35
  Speaker 3: with merry costs.
• 1:59:35
  Speaker 1: No, it didn't start. I think it was, But it is.
• 1:59:38
  Speaker 1: It is a cultural influence, and it is a factor
• 1:59:41
  Speaker 1: in the lack of compassion in modern society, even in
• 1:59:46
  Speaker 1: nations where that lack of compassion has some historical roots. Right,
• 1:59:51
  Speaker 1: the United States had the opportunity if we were going
• 1:59:54
  Speaker 1: to export something like that. We had the opportunity in
• 1:59:59
  Speaker 1: the that MRAs have existed for a century and have
• 2:00:03
  Speaker 1: been objecting to this stuff for a century. That in
• 2:00:06
  Speaker 1: that there were debates among feminists that there was another
• 2:00:10
  Speaker 1: school of thought besides the merry costs gendered gender based
• 2:00:15
  Speaker 1: violence school of thought. Right, the United States had the
• 2:00:19
  Speaker 1: opportunity to go the other direction and view what feminists
• 2:00:23
  Speaker 1: have gendered through the lens of human rights are every
• 2:00:30
  Speaker 1: human's rights, and therefore the right to bodily autonomy and
• 2:00:34
  Speaker 1: freedom from being imposed upon is not just a woman's right,
• 2:00:41
  Speaker 1: it's a man's right as well. That if we were
• 2:00:44
  Speaker 1: going to export ideas about sexual intimacy versus sexual violence,
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 1: that that would be our guide and our officials within
• 2:00:58
  Speaker 1: our bureaucracy owes to promote the costs school. The gendered
• 2:01:06
  Speaker 1: model the differentiating between human rights applications for women and
• 2:01:13
  Speaker 1: human rights applications for men model with the idea that
• 2:01:17
  Speaker 1: men have a lower set of human rights that doesn't
• 2:01:21
  Speaker 1: include bodily autonomy and that doesn't include freedom from being
• 2:01:26
  Speaker 1: imposed upon, whereas women have a higher set that not
• 2:01:31
  Speaker 1: only includes their bodily autonomy and their right to not
• 2:01:34
  Speaker 1: be imposed upon, but also a right of imposition. And
• 2:01:39
  Speaker 1: as a result, everywhere that this problem existed as part
• 2:01:44
  Speaker 1: of as a subculture within the overall culture, instead of
• 2:01:49
  Speaker 1: helping to eliminate or solve it, exports from the United
• 2:01:54
  Speaker 1: States in the form of cultural influence exacerbated it. So
• 2:02:04
  Speaker 1: it'd be like if you came along and you saw
• 2:02:06
  Speaker 1: there was a small fire and you said, oh, oh,
• 2:02:09
  Speaker 1: let's douse this, and instead of dousing it by dumping
• 2:02:15
  Speaker 1: water on it, you had a nice little spray of gasoline,
• 2:02:21
  Speaker 1: so it didn't get a chance to like snuff it out,
• 2:02:26
  Speaker 1: and it provided fuel.
• 2:02:30
  Speaker 3: I'm I'm leaving some room for the possibility term very
• 2:02:35
  Speaker 3: coos was the water and the gasoline, and that's and
• 2:02:38
  Speaker 3: that it's been going on for thousands of years.
• 2:02:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, costs wasn't the water. Costs was the gasoline we had.
• 2:02:47
  Speaker 1: There were feminists that were pursuing the idea that that
• 2:02:51
  Speaker 1: you know, sexual violence is caused by largely caused by
• 2:02:56
  Speaker 1: childhood traumas that happened to both sexes and need to
• 2:03:00
  Speaker 1: be treated in both sexes, and that there's a way
• 2:03:03
  Speaker 1: to break the cycle of violence. And costs was like, no,
• 2:03:05
  Speaker 1: men do this to women as part of patriarchal domination
• 2:03:09
  Speaker 1: in we have to ignore it when women do it
• 2:03:12
  Speaker 1: to men. And the result of this basically is and
• 2:03:16
  Speaker 1: I wrote about this in one of my old articles,
• 2:03:22
  Speaker 1: US incarcerated boys report a high rate of exploitation by
• 2:03:26
  Speaker 1: female staff welling custody because this was a this is
• 2:03:29
  Speaker 1: kind of a closed environment, which gives us a lot
• 2:03:32
  Speaker 1: of information about what happens when boys are sexually abused
• 2:03:36
  Speaker 1: by women. Ninety five percent of staff perpetrated sexual abuse
• 2:03:40
  Speaker 1: in those facilities is done by women, even though they're
• 2:03:43
  Speaker 1: less than half of the faculty. And so about halfway
• 2:03:48
  Speaker 1: down the article, I cited a study published in the
• 2:03:53
  Speaker 1: Journal of the American Medical Association in nineteen ninety eight
• 2:03:56
  Speaker 1: by William C. Holmes, who has a whole bunch of
• 2:04:00
  Speaker 1: letters behind his name. Doctor, and several other things, and
• 2:04:03
  Speaker 1: Gail by Slap also a doctor. Sexual abusive boys definition
• 2:04:09
  Speaker 1: prevalence correlates sequeally and management, and among the things that
• 2:04:15
  Speaker 1: they discovered are are changes in character, changes in personality
• 2:04:21
  Speaker 1: traits when boys are sexually abused during their youth. And
• 2:04:27
  Speaker 1: this this doesn't specifically happen only when women do it.
• 2:04:33
  Speaker 1: It's it's if they're abused by a man, this happens.
• 2:04:36
  Speaker 1: If they're abused by a woman, this happens. Right if
• 2:04:39
  Speaker 1: they're abused by another kid, this happens, and that does happen.
• 2:04:43
  Speaker 1: Kids who are sexually abused get confused and become aggressive,
• 2:04:49
  Speaker 1: and they do sexually abuse other kids. So it's it's
• 2:04:55
  Speaker 1: not universal, but it does. It does happen. It is
• 2:04:59
  Speaker 1: one of the constant sequences. And among the range of
• 2:05:04
  Speaker 1: issues indicating trauma was the fact that victims experienced greater
• 2:05:08
  Speaker 1: difficulty controlling sexual feelings, They were hyper sexual, they were
• 2:05:13
  Speaker 1: more likely to engage in high risk sexual behaviors like
• 2:05:17
  Speaker 1: unprotected sex, prostitution, promiscuity, that an increased rate of sti's
• 2:05:23
  Speaker 1: partner pregnancy, They had double the rate of HIV infection,
• 2:05:29
  Speaker 1: and this was when studying HIV infection was fairly fairly
• 2:05:34
  Speaker 1: new as well. The researchers also found an increased rate
• 2:05:38
  Speaker 1: of PTSD anxiety disorders. And then here's where it gets
• 2:05:43
  Speaker 1: to disorders that can exacerbate any tendencies that can lead
• 2:05:49
  Speaker 1: to criminal behaviors, borderline personality disorder, paranoia, dissociation, anger, aggressive behavior.
• 2:05:59
  Speaker 1: You know, these are all things that if that's already
• 2:06:02
  Speaker 1: present and this makes it worse, and it is already
• 2:06:06
  Speaker 1: leading someone down the wrong path, this puts the second
• 2:06:11
  Speaker 1: foot on that path. Right, they had varying degrees of
• 2:06:16
  Speaker 1: increased drug and alcohol abuse up to forty four times
• 2:06:21
  Speaker 1: as much, they could become forty four times more likely
• 2:06:25
  Speaker 1: and even have an earlier start down that path. Right, So,
• 2:06:30
  Speaker 1: substances that can affect your decision making capabilities, your judgment,
• 2:06:35
  Speaker 1: they're more likely to use those they experienced twice the
• 2:06:38
  Speaker 1: rate of low self esteem, behavioral problems, antisocial personality disorder
• 2:06:43
  Speaker 1: three times, are more likely to have bulimia, where their
• 2:06:49
  Speaker 1: self esteem is so badly affected that they become anorexic
• 2:06:53
  Speaker 1: and they throw up to try to control their weight.
• 2:06:56
  Speaker 1: And then they're up to five times more likely to
• 2:06:59
  Speaker 1: report actually related problems, including sexual dysfunction, four times as
• 2:07:04
  Speaker 1: likely as others to experience major depression, up to four
• 2:07:07
  Speaker 1: times fourteen times more likely to attempt suicide. And so
• 2:07:12
  Speaker 1: it's not just harming others, it's also self harm. But
• 2:07:16
  Speaker 1: then I went on, like I talked about a lot
• 2:07:18
  Speaker 1: of the different things that their main impact is on
• 2:07:21
  Speaker 1: the victim, right, But there is impact on the victim
• 2:07:25
  Speaker 1: that can affect how the victim's behavior, the victim's later
• 2:07:28
  Speaker 1: choices will impact other people. While it's not clear the
• 2:07:37
  Speaker 1: rate to which this happens. Because you can be terribly
• 2:07:43
  Speaker 1: abused as a child and grow up and be and
• 2:07:45
  Speaker 1: never commit a crime, never do anything violent, never do
• 2:07:49
  Speaker 1: anything cruel. Just you respond by becoming more of a kind,
• 2:07:56
  Speaker 1: hearted or careful person. Right, That is another response that
• 2:08:01
  Speaker 1: does happen. And then there's also the doormat response, Well,
• 2:08:04
  Speaker 1: this must be the way I'm supposed to be treated,
• 2:08:06
  Speaker 1: so I'm gonna let everybody treat me this way.
• 2:08:09
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:08:09
  Speaker 1: But the other response that people should be afraid of
• 2:08:15
  Speaker 1: if they think that it's okay to tolerate abuse of children,
• 2:08:19
  Speaker 1: including sexual abuse of boys, if they think that it's
• 2:08:24
  Speaker 1: okay to become callous toward an impoverished fifteen year old
• 2:08:27
  Speaker 1: kid in a bad situation because well, he's a juvenile
• 2:08:30
  Speaker 1: delinquent who cares what happens to him? Well, you should,
• 2:08:34
  Speaker 1: you should care. Never Mind that labels like delinquent and
• 2:08:38
  Speaker 1: inmate don't justify ignoring an individual's humanity, like, forget that.
• 2:08:42
  Speaker 1: Forget that. We're talking about a kid who isn't fully developed,
• 2:08:46
  Speaker 1: and putting those labels on him is wrong anyway, Right,
• 2:08:51
  Speaker 1: we're talking about a kid who is being molded. Harvard
• 2:08:56
  Speaker 1: University and the US Navy both found that a tendency
• 2:09:00
  Speaker 1: towards sexual predation is not a common male behavior. Right,
• 2:09:05
  Speaker 1: there's two studies there that both demonstrate that it's only
• 2:09:10
  Speaker 1: a minority of men who engage in this behavior, very
• 2:09:14
  Speaker 1: small minority, and that they generally speaking, have a broad
• 2:09:19
  Speaker 1: spectrum of predatory or violent behaviors and a history of
• 2:09:26
  Speaker 1: being abused. It's most common to victims of abuse. So
• 2:09:32
  Speaker 1: multiple sources indicate that a history of sexual exploitation by females,
• 2:09:36
  Speaker 1: specifically during youth, is a significant factor for perpetration of
• 2:09:41
  Speaker 1: sex crimes by men.
• 2:09:43
  Speaker 3: And we don't have to worry about all the men
• 2:09:46
  Speaker 3: who kill themselves because that's nothing to do with being
• 2:09:49
  Speaker 3: abused by females.
• 2:09:51
  Speaker 1: Worried fourteen times more likely to kill themselves. There are
• 2:09:57
  Speaker 1: fourteen times more likely to take themselves out of the picture.
• 2:10:02
  Speaker 1: They're gone. Holmes and Slap also noted this. Sexually abused
• 2:10:08
  Speaker 1: males were four point four times more likely to enforce
• 2:10:11
  Speaker 1: someone into sexual contact than non abused males. So something
• 2:10:15
  Speaker 1: Allison has always pointed out, and I want to point
• 2:10:17
  Speaker 1: this out too, all right, fourteen is bigger than four
• 2:10:20
  Speaker 1: point four. The primary response if they're going to engage
• 2:10:25
  Speaker 1: in violence because they have developed psychological issues because of
• 2:10:33
  Speaker 1: the trauma of being sexually abused. The primary response males
• 2:10:37
  Speaker 1: have when that happens to them as children is to
• 2:10:40
  Speaker 1: self destruct, to engage in violence against themselves some of them.
• 2:10:46
  Speaker 1: A smaller number of them burst outward instead and engage
• 2:10:51
  Speaker 1: in violence against other people.
• 2:10:56
  Speaker 3: When girls get abused, I'm more likely to become wares.
• 2:11:03
  Speaker 3: When boys get abused, they delete themselves from the statistics.
• 2:11:10
  Speaker 3: So again, you don't need to worry about them.
• 2:11:12
  Speaker 1: Boys and girls have a different way of reacting to
• 2:11:15
  Speaker 1: self blame. Right, Girls react with I deserve this. Boys
• 2:11:21
  Speaker 1: react with I need to take myself out of the picture.
• 2:11:27
  Speaker 1: I caused this. Solving the problem involved eliminating me.
• 2:11:33
  Speaker 3: And this is what y'all are encouraging and I don't.
• 2:11:35
  Speaker 3: And I'm not talking to feminists right now, to traditionalists
• 2:11:39
  Speaker 3: and so called conservatives who go, nice, oh, assessed in
• 2:11:46
  Speaker 3: your old boy was fucked by his teacher. Nice, Well,
• 2:11:49
  Speaker 3: it's different for boys. Boys love it when they get
• 2:11:55
  Speaker 3: dashatarily raped by their teachers, because yeah, they tell all
• 2:12:00
  Speaker 3: their friends about that, they funck to teach it. What
• 2:12:05
  Speaker 3: happens to them after that, it doesn't matter. It doesn't.
• 2:12:09
  Speaker 3: It takes like, on average, ten years before they killed themselves,
• 2:12:16
  Speaker 3: so it's irrelevant, Like it's it's not connected. There's no
• 2:12:21
  Speaker 3: connection there, don't don't worry about it. Just shut the
• 2:12:23
  Speaker 3: fuck up. Boys love being ragged by teachers. Shut the
• 2:12:26
  Speaker 3: fuck up. Sorry.
• 2:12:29
  Speaker 1: And it's not just if you look at the substance
• 2:12:32
  Speaker 1: abuse aspect of it. It's not just they're fourteen times
• 2:12:37
  Speaker 1: more likely to use methods that are recognized as suicide
• 2:12:42
  Speaker 1: attempts to kill themselves. They're up to forty four times
• 2:12:47
  Speaker 1: more likely to engage in behavior that will ultimately kill them.
• 2:12:58
  Speaker 3: When you think of that, By the way, teenage girls
• 2:13:02
  Speaker 3: who were statutorily raped by their male teachers, don't even
• 2:13:06
  Speaker 3: kill themselves, not even ten years later. They just go
• 2:13:10
  Speaker 3: on to become OnlyFans halls.
• 2:13:12
  Speaker 1: Some do, But it's not the phenomenon that it is
• 2:13:16
  Speaker 1: with boys.
• 2:13:17
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:13:18
  Speaker 1: Girls who have been sexually abused do have a whole
• 2:13:21
  Speaker 1: They do have a whole spectrum of sequeally as well.
• 2:13:24
  Speaker 1: And it's not less damaging to girls to be sexually abused.
• 2:13:30
  Speaker 1: It's that when they engage in it, they get compassion
• 2:13:35
  Speaker 1: from society.
• 2:13:37
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:13:37
  Speaker 1: And of course you also have the issue of a
• 2:13:41
  Speaker 1: girl who is sexually abused who goes on to do
• 2:13:45
  Speaker 1: only fans where she wouldn't have otherwise. And maybe she's
• 2:13:49
  Speaker 1: convincing herself that she thinks this is a good idea
• 2:13:52
  Speaker 1: and she's really into it and she's proud of it
• 2:13:54
  Speaker 1: and everything, when underneath this isn't something she ever would
• 2:13:59
  Speaker 1: have done, and actually she's traumatizing herself more by engaging
• 2:14:07
  Speaker 1: in a bunch of impersonal intimacy and exposing herself and
• 2:14:13
  Speaker 1: doing things that she can't take back. We're not allowed
• 2:14:17
  Speaker 1: to tell her that it's a bad idea because that's slutshaving,
• 2:14:21
  Speaker 1: So we have to let her slide down the razor
• 2:14:24
  Speaker 1: blade into the alcohol. We have to let her do
• 2:14:29
  Speaker 1: that to herself, or else we're misogynistic. And then when
• 2:14:35
  Speaker 1: she hits the alcohol and she starts screaming, then we
• 2:14:39
  Speaker 1: blame men who were not involved in her initial sexual
• 2:14:43
  Speaker 1: abuse and who were not the men she interacted with,
• 2:14:48
  Speaker 1: or who didn't know the difference between her and the
• 2:14:52
  Speaker 1: chick that's actually getting off on being on OnlyFans and
• 2:14:56
  Speaker 1: is enjoying herself. We blame them and not the culture
• 2:15:01
  Speaker 1: in which, instead of helping girls recover, we encourage their
• 2:15:06
  Speaker 1: downfall and their self injury. The whole thing is convoluted
• 2:15:14
  Speaker 1: and wrong, and all of that traces back to feminists
• 2:15:19
  Speaker 1: during the sixties, the seventies, and the eighties, desperately scrambling
• 2:15:25
  Speaker 1: to gender these issues in order to fit their convoluted
• 2:15:30
  Speaker 1: patriarchy conjecture that demonizes the entire male population as oppressors
• 2:15:36
  Speaker 1: of women, hell bent on keeping women subjugated and using
• 2:15:43
  Speaker 1: violence and domination to do so. And they got government
• 2:15:51
  Speaker 1: funding for it. Your tax dollars or your dad's tax
• 2:15:56
  Speaker 1: dollars or your grandpa's tax dollars paid for this. And
• 2:16:01
  Speaker 1: it didn't just pay for this, it paid to export
• 2:16:04
  Speaker 1: this to Zimbabwe, to India, to Japan, to England, to Germany,
• 2:16:13
  Speaker 1: to Russia, to China. Name a country that USAID has
• 2:16:19
  Speaker 1: had any involvement in anywhere. Name a country that has
• 2:16:26
  Speaker 1: had any kind of US funded supposed humanitarian effort taking place. Guatemala, Brazil,
• 2:16:37
  Speaker 1: any place the US has set foot, Panama, Canada. This
• 2:16:47
  Speaker 1: has been exported there and men were robbed to pay for.
• 2:16:53
  Speaker 3: It, including the cells. By the way, and it's worth
• 2:17:02
  Speaker 3: pointing out that many of these men I mean, who
• 2:17:05
  Speaker 3: were raped by women when they were underage go on
• 2:17:12
  Speaker 3: to become in cells.
• 2:17:14
  Speaker 1: And in fact it's especially the because they don't get
• 2:17:18
  Speaker 1: tax deductions.
• 2:17:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's that's who you're mocking when you talk
• 2:17:24
  Speaker 3: about in cell tears, folks. A lot of the time
• 2:17:28
  Speaker 3: it's disabled men who who have no hope of ever
• 2:17:34
  Speaker 3: escaping from this thing you call involuntary celibacy, which is
• 2:17:43
  Speaker 3: virginity when it's women, but when it's men you call
• 2:17:47
  Speaker 3: it involuntary syllacy. In their case, it's very often because
• 2:17:53
  Speaker 3: they are two disabled to achieve these things, and very
• 2:18:00
  Speaker 3: often is because they were raped by teachers or family
• 2:18:04
  Speaker 3: members when they were very young, and so they can
• 2:18:06
  Speaker 3: never they can never even consider experiencing sexual intimacy because
• 2:18:16
  Speaker 3: they were raped by women when they were younger. But
• 2:18:22
  Speaker 3: it's okay because we don't call it rape yep. In
• 2:18:26
  Speaker 3: a number of countries and states, we don't call it rape,
• 2:18:30
  Speaker 3: So it doesn't matter they weren't raped, they just they
• 2:18:34
  Speaker 3: just add nice yep.
• 2:18:41
  Speaker 1: I think we're going to pick up with this next
• 2:18:44
  Speaker 1: week and continue with it. There's a little bit more
• 2:18:49
  Speaker 1: in this paper that I want to go over, and
• 2:18:52
  Speaker 1: then there's two other things that I want to look
• 2:18:57
  Speaker 1: at briefly, not looking at the whole of I think
• 2:19:00
  Speaker 1: it's too These might actually be okay. No, these are
• 2:19:03
  Speaker 1: two different papers. The next thing is actually the cost paper,
• 2:19:13
  Speaker 1: the paper that Costs was involved in. So we'll we'll
• 2:19:19
  Speaker 1: go there, and I'm probably gonna also do a little
• 2:19:23
  Speaker 1: bit of rereading the actual rape prevalence paper that Costs
• 2:19:30
  Speaker 1: wrote that that statement came from. So next week we'll
• 2:19:34
  Speaker 1: probably be talking about this a bit more. Uh, and
• 2:19:38
  Speaker 1: and then we'll get onto another area of funding because
• 2:19:43
  Speaker 1: there's a couple of other things I have that I
• 2:19:46
  Speaker 1: want to get back to in terms of the export
• 2:19:49
  Speaker 1: of of what would have been highlighting here in various ways.
• 2:19:53
  Speaker 1: Is the export of feminist ideas that are designed to
• 2:19:59
  Speaker 1: reduce people compassion for men overall. So we'll probably do
• 2:20:04
  Speaker 1: a discussion where I kind of put a little bit
• 2:20:07
  Speaker 1: of that all together before we actually get into talking
• 2:20:11
  Speaker 1: about the US exporting war to other countries in the
• 2:20:16
  Speaker 1: form of interference with Like there's been a number of
• 2:20:22
  Speaker 1: times when the US has actually enacted coups in other
• 2:20:25
  Speaker 1: countries because they're they're the changes that they were going
• 2:20:31
  Speaker 1: through in their culture, and there, uh, their government changes
• 2:20:37
  Speaker 1: were not those changes that were preferred by the US
• 2:20:42
  Speaker 1: federal bureaucracy as if they have a right to decide
• 2:20:45
  Speaker 1: what every other country should do. So that's sort of
• 2:20:49
  Speaker 1: down the road. Look, but with that, I don't actually
• 2:20:55
  Speaker 1: have super chats, superchows or rumble rants this time around
• 2:20:59
  Speaker 1: to read to you. So I think we will cut
• 2:21:03
  Speaker 1: it here and uh continue with this in seven days,
• 2:21:09
  Speaker 1: should I should? I say seven days? So one one
• 2:21:14
  Speaker 1: character that I call cosplay really well is that chick
• 2:21:17
  Speaker 1: from the Ring And and I'm terrifying when I do it,
• 2:21:21
  Speaker 1: so more so now than when my teeth were in
• 2:21:24
  Speaker 1: better shape.
• 2:21:26
  Speaker 3: Enjoy your nightmare tonight, folks.
• 2:21:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I have pictures and in the meantime, we will
• 2:21:35
  Speaker 1: see you on Tuesday, and we will see you next Thursday.