Latest / Your Thoughts Your Reality / Confronting the Shadows: Diana Parra's Guide to Healing and Growth Through Veteran Grief

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Confronting the Shadows: Diana Parra's Guide to Healing and Growth Through Veteran Grief · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post deployment life.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Hello, hello, hello.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Today we have a super special guest, Diana Parra.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: You know we were talking for I don't know 30 minutes and had all these great conversations, so I think we're just done.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Welcome, Diana.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: So Diana is a transformational coach, certified dual elite neurocoding specialist, a licensed brain health trainer, certified behavioral consultant, certified grief educator, and I think I could go on the whole show on.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: You know, trauma is one of those very near and dear things that we have to deal with as humans, but especially as military veterans.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: So, really looking to pick your brain and get some insights, and so on.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: But before we dive back in, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, and thank you so much for having me on your show, michael.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I'm excited to be here.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: So, yes, I'm a transformational coach and all the other things that Michael said, and I work mostly with women and I help them to release the past, regain their confidence and redefine their identity so they can let go of the past and basically create the life that they love.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Fantastic and the work you do is so needed, you know, for civilians as well as, obviously, military.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: So so happy to have you on and again gonna pick that amazing brain of yours.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: So, if you will, why don't you tell us a little bit about your journey to becoming a grief educator?
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: So I had, you know, I've experienced loss myself.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I years ago I had four miscarriages and then I also experienced some health challenges.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: So it's kind of loss of your health and I I felt stuck.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: I got stuck and I got to the point where my my life wasn't moving forward.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: I, you know, was, um, depressed and just felt like not good enough, like a failure, unworthy all those things.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: And so, um, you know, I started doing my own work and eventually I heard about this, um, this grief education certification, and got really curious about it, because what I was finding, you know, with some of my clients, especially the women, is that they were stuck because they had some unprocessed grief.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: And so that was my case, you know, I learned, and so through this certification I just learned tons about grief and the process of grief and how to help people through grief, and it helps me and now I can help my clients and I am very passionate now about educating people about grief, because there is a lot of stuff that we don't know about grief, right In the process of grief, because we're not taught.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: And I mean, think about it, most people don't want to talk about death, dying, grief, right, those are subjects that are, we tend to avoid.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: And so a lot of times, especially with veterans, that I found and it's everybody I mean especially like, go back to your grandparents, you know the things that they went through and they didn't talk about the bad stuff, they just buried it Right.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: And veterans, you know, do the same thing and not all.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: So please understand I'm not doing a blanket statement here, but they, you know, they don't know how to process it, so they do the same thing.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: And a lot of veterans, especially back in my father's era, et cetera, they just buried it and didn't know how to deal with it.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: So, the more that this work comes out and the amazing stuff you're doing, I mean God bless you, lady.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: You're going to help so many and have already.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thank you, yeah, and yeah, and it's a passion of mine because I've learned so much myself and you know things that I didn't know you know, so I know most people don't know those things.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah absolutely so.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: I've got a billion questions, a billion.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely so.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I've got a billion questions, a billion.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: We need three days.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: So, if you can, where do we start?
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Why don't we maybe talk about the stages of grief?
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: I think that would be a great place to start.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely so.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: There are five stages to grief.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Those are like the, you know, the books based on books, and Elizabeth Kubler-Ross is the woman who you know wrote about the five stages of grief.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: So their denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance is the fifth one.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Now, recently, my mentor the one I did the grief education program with he worked closely with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and he recently wrote the sixth stage, which I love and it's finding meaning so.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: So there you go, those are the six stages Fantastic.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so do you want to go into each one of those a little bit?
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: So so there you go, those are the six stages Fantastic, yeah.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: So we're going to each one of those a little bit.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Just, yeah, sure, so, yeah.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: So denial is you know just what that is.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like you know that feeling you can't believe it happened, you can't believe the person is gone, you can't believe that.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: You know whatever the thing is, the loss happened, the person is gone.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: You can't believe that.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: You know whatever the thing is, the loss happened, right.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: And then the next one is anger.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: You get angry, right, about what happened, about the loss.
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: Then we have bargaining, which is, you know, can show up in different ways, but one of the ways is if I had done X, then that wouldn't have happened, if I had been there, if I had not, you know, told the person to go there and do this right.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: And then there's depression, you know.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: And then the fifth one is acceptance, which is where you accept what has happened.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: And then finding meaning is my favorite one, because it's really about finding meaning for yourself.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Right, for what?
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: Not necessarily like what, that?
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: What does the loss mean, necessarily, but more like, what meaning can I find in this, for example, what you know, one of the things?
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: I'll give you a personal example when I lost my dad, you know he passed away.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: One of the things for me finding meaning is that is when I think about him, I think about all the um, all the good things that he taught me, all that stuff that I learned from him, right?
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: So that's the meaning for me, the stuff that I learned from him, right?
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: So that's the meaning for me, right.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: For someone else, it might be that they go and they start some, you know, a nonprofit to help a certain population.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: That could be their meaning.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: For some people it might be something, as you know, simple, as like planting a tree in their name.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: So it depends on, you know, whatever meaning you want to give it.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: And the other thing I have to say about the stages of grief and this is a misconception and sometimes people think that they're linear, like you go from one to the next, to the next to the next, finally acceptance and you're done, you know.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: And they're not.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Some people don't, some people don't go through all of them, they skip around.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: Some people kind of go back to, you know, one that they've already been through.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: So it's it's not a linear process.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: And and brief, you know what I was saying to you before we got we started is that.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: It's a personal journey.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: There is no specific timeline.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: There is no right or wrong way to do grief.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: It's very personal.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: So some people will, depending on it, it'll be 15 seconds, Some people, you know, 15 months.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: It really just depends.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: So and I know we started talking about this, but I think it'd be a great thing to talk about again for everybody else to hear as well is when is enough?
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: Enough?
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: And I know it's very personal.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Give me some thoughts.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: Give me some thoughts.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and that's.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: You know that can be a trick, tricky thing because it is a personal thing.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: Now, one thing that I learned about grief is that you know After three months you're not going to say, well, they should be over their grief and moving on with life Right and dating again or getting married.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: You know they're, they're done grieving their the loss of their spouse, move on, right.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: But if we're talking about something like past two years, you know again and it also depends on the event, the loss.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: Now, if we have a traumatic loss, that's different, right Cause now we have that complication or the added thing of the trauma.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: But again, it depends on the person know when they're kind of getting stuck, if they're processing their grief like without any other added you know thing like trauma or anything like that, because they'll start to feel stuck I mean, that's what happened to me after you know the miscarriages and all that and so they kind of start to feel like I should kind of be, not necessarily I don't want to say over it, but like moving, starting to move forward, and I can't.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: I want to but I can't, right.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: So when you're bringing up just great stuff, so so when they get to that feeling and they, they feel like they're stuck they're saying I'm stuck, I want to move on, I need to move on.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: What?
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: What are some things that you do to help them?
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: So a lot of what I do with clients like that is education.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: It's really grief education.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: It's letting them know that the way they feel is normal, what they're feeling is normal to process, you know a little bit more of the grief, and helping them in getting you know unstuck, because a lot of times when they get stuck it's because there's unprocessed grief.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: Right, and what I mean by unprocessed grief is, I mean, think about it.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: Most people, or people can't.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: Nobody wants to feel bad, right, nobody wants to feel pain, and so when we experience some kind of loss, that's what we feel, right, that's, it's normal.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: There's pain, and so a lot of times we want to avoid feeling the pain and so we want to move not through it but around it, and instead we look towards like distractions.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: And you know, for me, I'll give you my example when I had, after I had, the miscarriages, I I didn't really process my grief and I jumped right back into life.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: I wanted to get distracted, I didn't want to think about it, I didn't want to feel the pain, because it's overwhelming, it can be, and, and so what happens is, you know, we, we push it down, we push it down, we push it down, push it down, and there's only so much of that that we can do before our body will say you know you know what does that look like, when your body's saying enough well, for in my case, um, I got sick.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: You know it can also be.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: It's our body and and our mental health.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: You know we start getting depressed, we start feeling like, you know, we don't want to do anything, we lose our joy, for, you know, living for life, you know.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and I found that as well that a lot of people they start getting sick.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: You know the disease starts showing up that otherwise healthy person.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: You know those kinds disease starts showing up that otherwise healthy person.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: You know those kinds of things as well.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: So excellent.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: So have you noticed and I'm just again just going here?
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Now let me ask this a different way.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: So when you see someone that is depressed you know going through these things how do you keep that from becoming their identity?
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: Because they're getting attention from it and so that attention makes them feel good.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: Does that make sense?
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, and I have to say that, yes, for some people that's the case, not for everyone, but for those that is the case.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: It's basically, you know.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: I asked the you know this question that we all know and love is what do you want?
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: What do you want?
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: It's the million dollar question, million dollar question yes, and then I help them figure out and get clarity around what it is that they want.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: Right, because they might be, you know that feeling depressed and all that might be meeting some of their needs, right, and it's really about helping them to understand how they can have those needs met in a different, in a more productive, more healthy way.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Right, so do you start working on future, pacing them and getting them excited about their future?
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: Yep, future pacing them.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: You know it's a question like what do you want?
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: And then we take it from there and then you know, we start.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: You know, vision casting and future pacing.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: You know, like what's the vision for your life?
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: What do you want to?
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: What do you want your life to look like?
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: And is what you're doing now going to serve you?
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: Is that going to get you to there?
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: You know, and, and really it's about helping them get clear and redefine what it is that they you know what they want Redefine their identity in that process, and that's obviously a process.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Right, right, yeah.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: So when you're dealing with somebody that has had let's go major trauma, let's go major trauma.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Let's take a military type person that's been through something that they're having trouble forgiving themselves.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, so what I found is a lot of military veterans and people in general actually I found it more common than I expected have trouble looking at themselves in the mirror we call it the mirror exercise and saying I love you, you know where you feel it Right.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Any thoughts on how to get them past that?
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: You know it's, and that's the thing.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: When there's trauma involved, it can get tricky, right?
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: Because now we're also dealing with the trauma and you know, for me, if I have a, you know I will.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Let me just say this I only work with a client that has trauma or is in the middle of trauma if they're also in therapy, because the trauma has to be addressed by the therapy.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: I'm not an expert trauma expert, that's not my field of expertise, but I can help them alongside their therapist.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: To, you know, they can work on with the therapist.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: They can work on like the past you know, like what happened and all that stuff, and then I can help them start from where they are and move forward.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: You know, into the future, right, because that's more of what coaching is.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: You know, going from the present to the future, and therapy is more about like from the talking about the past and how they got here to the present.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: So so it's something that I would work in conjunction with the therapist and and in helping them based on and in helping them based on where they are in therapy and what they're ready for, helping them then start coming up with those goals, you know, and that clarity about what it is that they want to build.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: You know what they want their life to be, and a lot of time.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: You know, when there's trauma it's like it's like baby steps, it's little.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: You know we can't move them fast.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: You know they have to go at their own pace.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: So it's kind of like you know it might be something as simple.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: As you know, going out in public by themselves, you know, for X amount of time and then start building those increments, you know, making it longer and longer, and things.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: You know, things like that.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Excellent, yeah, I I.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Baby steps is a good, good point there.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: I mean I think it has to be, especially when it's, you know, in that trauma.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: And I just want to say something I think it's amazing that you work with therapists to in conjunction, because it's just going to help help people just get further faster for sure.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: So, thank you, thank you for doing that and and it's awesome that you found therapists that are good with that.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: That's even cooler.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: And I know, in like, in the neuro encoding Institute we have people that are both and that kind of thing.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: But I just I think it's just fantastic.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and a lot of times it's, you know, people will come to me for coaching and then, if you know when, when I find out there's a lot of trauma there or that's it's still like unprocessed, and then I'll say to them you know, I, I will be more than happy to work with you, but you've also need to be in therapy, and so that's kind of like where my, but you've also need to be in therapy, and so that's kind of like where my.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Then we then I started a relationship with their therapist and then we worked together.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think that's absolutely necessary.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely necessary.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Because if yeah, for for all kinds of reasons?
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you this so I know there's, you know, people that are going through life transitions, or divorce or empty nesters so divorce, I understand, and empty nesters, loss of a job, so all of these can be forms of trauma.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: I mean, if they're affected by it and they're not finding the positive in them, is that your take on it?
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what?
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: Um, what I've learned about trauma is that what I know about trauma is that if if it's traumatic to you, then it's trauma.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: Right, because you and I might have the same experience and it might be traumatic for you but not for me.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: So we can't then say, well, it's not trauma because you know Diana's not experiencing it that way.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: So it really depends on you know, on the person's experience, and if it's traumatic for them, it's an.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: If it starts to impact their life in a certain way and they have the symptoms you know of trauma and all that, then it's trauma.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, and it's the definition I mean we, the definition you give, it right, each person is going to give it a different definition and I think that's where that comes from, my opinion.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: Anyway, you have different people in the same household.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: One goes down the road of not going to school and drugs and alcohol, and you know the worst case scenario kills himself or someone else.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: The other one becomes, you know, a CEO of his own billion dollar company.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: So it's really comes down to that.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: So, again, my opinion so do you see patterns between the way people give definitions and I know we're not everybody listening here, I'm throwing Diana some hard ones.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, this is not, this is not just simple questions and answers here?
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: I mean there's, they're, they're, they're not easy to answer.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: So, diana, thank you and feel free to say I'm done with you at any minute, but I think we have you on here and I think it's important to get this kind of out there.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: So please again say it anytime, I'm done with you, but if you're good, please continue.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Do you see patterns between those two different realms and the way people go?
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: What just clarify?
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: Like what two realms.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: Well, you see one person.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: They have a rough upbringing.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'll just, I'm going to go a little bit to my childhood for that matter.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, rough upbringing alcoholic veteran in the household broke up the family and I'm not talking about my father, just to clarify so once one group or one sibling goes and you know, goes and runs away and ends up on heroin and all of these horrible things, and you have another one that goes through very similar things and builds a multimillion-dollar-a-year business, they take different roads.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: I'm curious if you have seen patterns between you, know, with working with different people, with trauma specifically, besides the definition they give it, have you seen different patterns?
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: I can't say that I've seen, you know patterns because I, you know, I'm I'm hesitant to say anything.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: You know to kind of answer that question, because I feel like, in order to for me to say there's a pattern or that I see a pattern, I would have to see To have worked with A large number of people like that is that I know what you're referring to, where two people from the same household and they deal or cope with the situation in different ways.
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: I think that's probably more about their resiliency, how resilient they are and maybe throw in there some personality traits and how they cope, more like their coping mechanism.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: You know that would be.
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: That's again, like you said, my opinion.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: I'm being careful and I appreciate you doing the same.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: I mean, you would need to work with those people specifically to give a professional analysis, I would think.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: But I was just curious if you've seen, you know, certain patterns, but it seems like hi, aunt Shirley, by the way, sorry, she shouted out, I had to say hi back, hi.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I was just curious if in your work, you've seen any kinds of those kind of pattern things.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: And I think what I've seen and again, everybody is different I'm going to be very careful, as you were, but I've seen just resourcefulness and the definition of what they went through, because you'll see one person say you know, not say but feel broken and go down that route.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: And you'll see another one saying you know, and I think what it is is they're learning from it, and they're saying yeah, I'm not going to be the same, this pattern changes here, my family is not going to be this, and so they take that different energy from it.
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes sense, yeah.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm just swinging it.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: You, though, thank you, so I didn't tell you we're going to do this.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: You ready for another?
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: one.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: So we're getting close to the end here.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: So, diana, first of all, you know you've been absolutely amazing and thank you for going through this stuff.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: It is a very, very hard subject that, like you said in the beginning, most people don't want to deal with it and don't want to talk about it, but how much better is it when you do Right.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: How much better is it when you do so?
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: How do people get a hold of Diana Parra?
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: So you can visit my website at dianaparrainternationalcom and you can connect with me on Instagram, dianapar888.
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: That's my Instagram handle, and you can also find me on Facebook.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: Fantastic.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: And just so everybody knows I've been saying it wrong the whole time, it's para.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, I apologize for that, I just thought I had it.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, so here's the part that I didn't tell you about is I always ask for three tips for people, and again I like to specify veterans and or their families, and you know everybody, the veterans, families and I speak from you know personal, you know personal experience here, not just my father, but another you know vet that moved in to our household that I was just talking about later.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: You know we all deal with this stuff differently and as not just the veterans but their families, three tips to three.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: Tips to to help with trauma or how how to deal with it if you feel like you're going down that route, even to circumvent it, something like that.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say I would start with.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: I'll leave, like the what I consider the most important one for last.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: But the first one I would say is to take care of yourself, as in take care of, like your health, like take care of, like what you eat, you know drink plenty of water and you know get plenty of sleep.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: The second one would be to try and I know this is a hard, like a difficult one, a challenging one but try not to be hard on yourself and um and feel like guilty for feeling the way you feel or for being where you're at.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: And then the third one is, um, what I think is the most important one is to seek professional help, you know, and whether that's a therapist, you know a coach, or or reach out to someone, start there so that you can get the support that you need.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Absolutely fantastic.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, especially especially that last one.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: They're all good, but especially that last one.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: You know, we know, that our veterans, they, they, they need that camaraderie and when they start to pull back, that's when you know the the problems and not just veterans, but their families and humans in general.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: That's that's when you start running into the serious problems.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: So, reach out, talk to somebody.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: Talk to your, talk to your dad, talk to your, your brother, your sister, I don't care your, your neighbor, your dog, you might not get a lot of feedback, but talk to somebody, get it out.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: So, thank you, thank you so much.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: This has been absolutely fantastic.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: So I'd love to have you back on.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: I think we're just barely scratching the surface.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: So, if you're up for that, I would love to do that Absolutely.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: So everybody.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: Again, diana Pera, on the top right hand corner of your screen, there you see a blue QR code.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: There are all kinds of resources Again books I've written for veterans and their families.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: There are, you know, coaching and trainings and all kinds of stuff.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: Reach out, contact somebody.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: If you're struggling, please reach out, just like Diana just said.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: It's super important.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: So I again want to thank you, diana.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: I say this every time.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: I'm going to continue to say it, probably every time, but as humans, time is the most precious resource we have.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: We do not get it back.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for spending this 30 minutes here and 30 minutes off camera with me.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: You've been absolutely fantastic.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: I appreciate it, my friend.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: All right, so everybody, thank you for joining us and we are out of here.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.