Latest / Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast / Ep. 63: Coach Sylvie on "healing the root" — turning pain into empowered living

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Ep. 63: Coach Sylvie on "healing the root" — turning pain into empowered living · Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast

• 0:00
  We are back. Welcome back to episode 63,
• 0:04
  right 63 of the Adventures and Adversity podcast.
• 0:09
  I am back for a second time. I'm very grateful to have
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  Sylvie, my dear friend, and a wonderful, wonderful Wellness
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  intuition, healing energy coach. We're going to get all into
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  that. You might recognize her from
• 0:26
  episode 41 if you've been watching for a while.
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  If not, welcome. So glad you're here.
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  You're going to meet an amazing person today who has helped me
• 0:37
  through a lot in the short time that we've known each other.
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  Meaning what? The last eight months, maybe
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  nine months feels like a decade because you've helped me.
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  Yes, we've we've birthed a lot. Yes.
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  And here we go. No.
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  So episode 41 where you had talked about your story as
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  someone who has survived narcissistic abuse and domestic
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  abuse. In episode 41, you took that
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  story and really were very vulnerable and shared what it
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  was like for you. And then you also really
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  uplifted me in that you talked about how it's made you an
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  advocate, right? And so now that advocacy for
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  domestic violence survivors, you've worked at shelters,
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  you've taught courses to people at the shelters.
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  What you've really, I think what I'm most excited about for you
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  is this new chapter. Yes.
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  And I'm going to let you tell me about it, this new coaching
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  chapter. Yes.
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  So what's been birthed through all of that is purposing your
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  pain. Something that has been a
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  recurring theme in my life is what am I going to do with this
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  pain, right. For a long time, you sit in
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  victimhood with the pain, and that's OK, There's nothing wrong
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  with that. But then there are times that we
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  try to escape the pain. We try to numb the pain, we try
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  to suppress the pain in many, many ways.
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  And I think what birthed out of out of this was just how do we
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  repurpose it and make it something that we can transmute
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  into helping the greater good. And whether the greater good is
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  just inside of our homes to our families.
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  If if it's bigger for your community or just worldwide,
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  it's just something you're birthing and giving out into the
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  world. But yes, I am a survivor of
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  domestic violence, intimate partner abuse.
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  It was covert narcissistic abuse.
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  I've survived financial abuse, emotional psychological abuse,
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  litigious abuse of family court. A lot of family court was used
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  as a a weapon, a weaponization. And so I've lived in a really
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  deep, dark depths of despair and places of confusion and still
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  had to show up as a mother. So I had to learn how to
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  compartmentalize pain and then show up as a mom.
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  And one of the things that was most important to me was I
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  didn't want this person to rob me of my motherhood or my
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  daughter of a healthy mother. So there were times that I was
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  in the closet without her knowing, with just tears, snot,
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  whatever, running down, just praying to God for a rescue.
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  And I think we touched on this. You're talking about this right
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  before. Yeah, that I kept looking
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  outside myself for a rescue, you know, like it was an outward
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  thing. Someone's going to help me out
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  of this awful situation, yeah. And one of the things we forgot
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  to do is I always like to start with a a little prayer.
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  Well, let's do it. You started the last episode, so
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  go for it. Yeah, I just, I, Holy Spirit, I
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  just come before you and I ask that you create a space for this
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  to be seen and heard by the people and the audience and the
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  attention that it needs for the people that it needs to be seen
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  by. Let it be safe for us.
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  Let it be you working through us and let it be the just the
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  healing and the peace and just just the words that somebody
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  needs to hear. And I ask this in Jesus name,
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  Amen. Amen.
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  Surely. Hey, hey, You know the point.
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  You can always pray. There's always time for prayer.
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  Yeah. So you were saying you.
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  I think it would be natural when we were talking on the way here
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  to think. OK.
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  Yes, like someone or something is going to interrupt this chaos
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  and help me because I can't. Well, that's what I you think.
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  So. You know, my religious
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  background or just, it's just what I was taught that there's
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  going to be a savior, a rescue that was going to happen outside
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  of myself. And you know, I, I'll be honest,
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  I've had many a time where I was upset with God.
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  Yeah, right. And then men, cuz it's a
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  representation of right, he's a male representation, right.
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  So then it's like it kind of went down into my relationship
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  with men and but through it all, like God worked in me.
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  And so I think the biggest thing I want this to be a take away
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  from this is like the rescue is an inside job.
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  It doesn't mean that God isn't helping.
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  It just means that it is coming from the power that he gave you.
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  Like it's within you, right? So it's he gave us the Holy
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  Spirit. And so the Holy Spirit is the
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  one that is helping from inside. Like I don't know if I'm
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  articulating. You are well, you are.
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  But yeah, it's the power of the within us so.
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  It like it begins there, like you're saying not to say it
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  doesn't mean that your friend is going to come help you move out
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  or you're going to have somebody to, you know, a therapist to
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  help you through getting out of an abusive situation.
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  But nothing any of tell me if I'm right, like interpreting
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  what what you just said. None of that is possible without
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  like there has to be something in here that's like fighting, or
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  almost would it be fighting is. Being accountable, like showing
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  up for yourself and seeing what patterns is happening in you,
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  what's happening in you that is kind of creating this outside
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  like energy to come in and permeate your life, Right,
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  right. And so part of what I do as a
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  coach is help move that energy. And I know that kind of goes
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  against some, you know, Christian values or whatever,
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  but I never fit in with any. I never fit in anybody's box
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  anyway. You said you were a holy misfit
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  in the last episode, and I mean I probably am too.
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  So, you know, yeah, but I just helped move that energy out.
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  And but it it takes your consent, it it takes you showing
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  up for yourself and saying, you know, like, I'm ready to face
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  this pain. And I connect really well
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  through all of my trials in my life.
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  I connect really well to pain, grief and trauma.
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  And I see it in people. It's just something I feel, and
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  I feel it where it is in their body.
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  And so we carry these things in different places in our body.
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  And so I'm able to identify those places and I can help like
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  guide you. I'm just a conduit.
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  I'm just a vessel. But you have to show up too, and
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  you have to face it. And it hurts like hell and it's
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  painful. And we don't want to see some of
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  those things about ourselves, and we don't want to even
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  sometimes understand that we participate in that right.
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  There's accountability, yes, and to some degree.
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  But it's radical authenticity. And if you can get to a space
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  where you are radically authentic with yourself, your
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  whole life will start to change. The outside will change.
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  I mean, I'm sitting here with you, OK?
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  And I started in a pantry at a shelter because I said I was in
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  family court this in, I saw these people going through the
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  same exact thing. It was like a copy and paste.
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  The narcissistic abuse was such a, it's such a pattern.
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  It's such a it's like they have the same playbook.
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  Legit. Right.
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  Yeah. They all meet at like a
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  headquarters meeting and use the same playbook.
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  It's just a chip that they're just embedded with.
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  And so I just saw like, because you have to sit through other
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  people's cases and you just sit there and you just see these
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  people going through the same exact thing, just but different
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  faces, different bodies, different whatever.
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  And I remember seeing this woman and this man was like red in the
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  face, rage, talking through his teeth.
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  And women do this too to men. This is I've seen it in family.
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  Yeah, but I just this one in particular made me change
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  something. So he's red in the face, talking
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  through his teeth in front of a judge.
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  And he says the words you say it cunt in in the in the court, in
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  the courtroom. And he doesn't get penalized and
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  he doesn't get told anything. He just gets told like I get
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  calmed down and to me I was like holy shit like this woman is,
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  she wouldn't even look up. She was literally in a shell of
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  herself. She was just.
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  She was in protection mode and here's this guy, like foaming at
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  the mouth calling her this. And I'm looking at like
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  screaming, like, dude, you guys, she's being abused.
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  Like she's abused. Like you can tell by her
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  demeanor and you can tell by his demeanor, like if this is what
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  he's doing in the courtroom. I can't even imagine.
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  What's happening outside, right? And the judge isn't even like,
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  flinch. OK.
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  And so I said to myself, from that moment on, I was like, I
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  have to do something. And that's why I went to a
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  domestic violence shelter. And I was like, hey, I'm here to
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  help. But I was like, I just want to
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  like put food in the pantry. Like can I just?
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  But that's can I be? Even if you just did that,
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  that's really nice. It is.
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  You don't have to, but it's. Funny cuz like I'm laughing
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  because my personality doesn't call for hiding but I wanted to
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  hide and help but then Godzilla jokes on you cuz your intake
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  form said that you have all this teaching background.
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  Yeah, from like corporate right back in the day, Yeah.
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  Yep. And so you have this teaching
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  background and you like to help people.
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  So I got a call from the Resource Center and they said,
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  hey, we actually need somebody to teach classes to the women at
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  the shelter. And so I was like, cool, yeah,
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  what what do you got? And they're like self esteem.
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  So it's like easy, I can do self esteem all day.
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  But then God did the switcheroo and like at the last minute was
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  like, I actually need you to teach about anger management.
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  Let me tell you how many times I taught that particular series,
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  maybe 8 or 9 times. And can I tell you that God
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  worked through me, Not just, I mean like in me, not just
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  through me, but in me every single time I took that anger
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  management course. And we talked about this on the
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  way here. You see me, you see my presence,
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  you see my comment. Yes.
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  Would you believe that I have suffered massive anxiety?
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  Debilitating anxiety? Rage.
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  How about rage? Absolute rage like.
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  You're you wouldn't wouldn't if I thought rage like you wouldn't
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  come to mind. Oh yeah, absolute rage.
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  Like you would be the opposite because you're so like.
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  A history of rage. Like it was the easiest thing
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  for me to always go to because it was masked grief.
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  I didn't feel grief. Do you see that I didn't get to
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  that layer? Everything has that flip side.
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  It's just massive grief. Oh, wow.
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  OK, let's talk about that. So because part of what you do
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  in your coaching, so you have all these experiences, real
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  life, seeing it in family court, living it, probably when you're
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  teaching that course, you're out looking to the women who are
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  just like trying to survive another day, right?
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  Like legit, absolutely. You're healing, you're having
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  all these like if, but almost you teaching that and like you
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  trusted yourself that like Holy Spirit, God would give you what
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  you needed. I didn't even look at it that
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  way. I just feels like I'm doing a
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  task. I'm like, I'm just showing up.
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  This is what I want to do. I'm.
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  I feel like I'm helping. I feel like I'm advocating.
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  Yeah. And the whole time, like I'm
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  getting gutted by like the Holy Spirit, you know what I mean?
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  Like I'm being worked on the whole time.
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  It revealed a lot to you. Yeah, yeah.
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  And then they had me teach about forgiveness because it was a
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  Christian shelter. And, you know, I still to this
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  day haven't reconciled that so. Yeah, it's a hard one.
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  And you know what my stance is? You don't have to.
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  Why? Yeah, you don't have to.
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  You just start on forgiving yourself.
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  Maybe just start there again. The inside job.
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  It's yeah, yeah. Like, let's stop holding
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  everybody. Like, let's start looking out.
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  Let's stop looking outwards for what we actually need to do for
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  ourselves. Yes, right, yes.
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  And coming back to the emotions. So if you're with a client and
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  like they're experiencing it, they're telling you like I'm
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  just like raging. I'm so mad and like maybe
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  justifiably so for what someone did or how they whatever,
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  whatever their pain is, right. Yeah.
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  And they're like, I just like, I'm just so mad.
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  Like where do you typically or is it different for everyone?
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  Where do people feel anger or is it really different for
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  everyone? It's different there's.
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  Not one person. OK, Yeah.
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  Yeah. I have felt people's grief, like
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  in their chest, like lung area. I have felt in their shoulders,
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  Yeah. Like embracing for impact.
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  Like yeah. And you're saying that anger?
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  I have felt grief in people's wombs.
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  And what does that feel like? It's just a sense I get, I
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  can't. Yeah, no, it's it's something
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  you sense. Yeah, it's something I sense.
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  And so this is something that's been with me my whole life.
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  But before I guess people would title it like in path, right?
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  And I've absorbed a lot of people's pain and tried to heal
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  them, fix them, whatever. Like, you know, like, I kind of
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  liken it to like, I just want to like, pick everybody up and
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  like, fix them. But like, I was breaking myself
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  in the process. And I was putting myself in
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  situations that weren't healthy for me, right?
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  Because I wasn't able to compartmentalize their pain
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  separate from me. Yeah, like you must fix it.
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  Yeah, just letting it be there. So it's a gift that I think I've
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  always had, but I didn't know it was a gift and I was hurting
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  myself with that gift and then in the reciting.
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  Myself with that gift. Yeah, I was taking myself down
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  with the ship. Like if you think about it.
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  No boundary. No boundary.
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  You were just like out there. That's another thing like learn
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  boundaries and stick to them. Yeah, cuz that's gonna keep you
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  energetically safe. Yeah, even with healthy people
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  like healthy like you and I, great friendship I was.
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  Going to say you're healthy. Oh no, I'm not healthy.
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  I'm working on being like physically, mentally, I'm
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  getting there. But just because we have a
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  healthy friendship doesn't mean you you also have a boundary
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  with me. Yes, even though I will No, I'm
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  kidding. I will cross it.
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  No, I'm now trying to be now that I've learned what
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  boundaries are and like try to have them.
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  I try to be very conscious of other people's where I'm like,
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  they're like, no, you're good. I'm like your shirts.
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  I don't want to we handle. It just.
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  Fine. Yeah, The other night you
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  invited me out and I was like, I'm in my pajamas.
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  I'm not leaving the house. You're like, it's like 8.
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  And I'm like, I'm in the, I'm in my pajamas.
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  And there was someone cute there.
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  So I was like but please come. But this is not.
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  But I'm not saying that you're wrong because you should do what
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  you want, but if you want to. But then I'm like, but I'm glad
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  you're taking care of your yourself, but maybe come if you
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  think he's cute like but you know what I mean like you
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  respecting what people need as friends as whatever, but.
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  Even that's a perfect example. So you like, even if he was
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  cute, I still held my boundary. You're right, I tried to push
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  the boundary with the cuteness. But I still held.
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  It and and like. This is I'm honoring myself.
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  You know what? And you're right.
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  And that's why you shouldn't listen to me because just trying
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  to be a good wing woman, you know?
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  But no, I I think it's we're. Probably cutting that all out.
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  You know, whatever, whatever you want to cut out because we were
• 17:25
  going on a good track. Yeah.
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  Anyway, so you were talking about.
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  So I'd asked you processing that every.
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  So everyone processes emotions in different places, is what
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  you're saying. If people are new to this and
• 17:37
  they're like, wait, I thought emotions are like in your brain
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  and then you feel them or you think about them.
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  They're actual. They're going.
• 17:43
  Fast physically, absolutely. Yeah.
• 17:45
  Sometimes pain isn't an injury, it's an emotional injury.
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  It's not a physical injury, It's an emotional injury.
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  And we hold on to that so. As if it were physical.
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  Feels physical, yeah. So just to use myself as an
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  example, for the longest time, and I didn't realize this, but I
• 18:03
  was holding OK, so there's a power center right here if you
• 18:07
  follow like chakras or whatever, but there's power centers.
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  Yeah. But that's what chakras are,
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  sure. OK.
• 18:14
  And there's different, like you have your heart, you have like.
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  Where energy gathers right your. Throat where you.
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  Speak here, it's all. Yes, it's basically the sign of
• 18:24
  the cross when you. Think about it.
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  OK, that's good. So there's, remember we've
• 18:28
  talked about Christ consciousness, yes.
• 18:30
  So this is the same thing. But anyway, so there's a solar
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  plexus, right? So for me, it's like for
• 18:38
  everybody, but it's like right here underneath your rib cage,
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  it's the power center. Do you feel it right now?
• 18:43
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the longest time I didn't
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  realize I was holding that space was being held tight.
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  And in the recent, like just this year, I've been telling
• 18:55
  myself release it, release it. So it's, I don't know if I was
• 18:59
  bracing for impact or I'm not unleashing my power as a healer,
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  as a woman, as a mother, as I don't know, just everything that
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  I am, right? I've been holding on.
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  So somewhere along the way, I have felt disempowered.
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  And I was always holding right there, like as a guard, as a
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  guard. And it wasn't until this year
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  that I'm like, it's safe to let that guard go and just receive.
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  And so now I'm in like my power center is open to receive and so
• 19:32
  and but I still have time for, I have to remind myself, let that
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  guard down. Let that guard down.
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  Yeah. And sometimes it's silly things
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  like I'm just, you know, staying, I'm helping at the
• 19:46
  school where my daughter is because and we can get into the
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  how I quit corporate thing. But there's sometimes I just I'm
• 19:53
  on yard duty, which sounds hilarious, but I'm on.
• 19:56
  Your duty. Which I think is a blessing that
• 19:59
  I get to be with my trust. The smell of blacktop and sun
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  and like just keeping it simple. Yeah, but sometimes I just stand
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  there and I'm just practice receiving and then there'll be
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  like a dragonfly that comes by or birds that like, you know,
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  are in close proximity and people can think I'm weird or
• 20:17
  whatever. But once you're in tune.
• 20:19
  It's fine. Weird is.
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  Yeah, weird is weird is great. Yeah, I weird is I'm accepting
• 20:24
  it now. Weird is like accepted it.
• 20:26
  You're all in trouble. Yeah, what is weird?
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  Like, yeah, weird. If noticing how beautiful nature
• 20:32
  is and like breathing deep and trying to be present is weird,
• 20:35
  then let's be weird. Let's get really weird for some.
• 20:38
  People. Yeah.
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  But it's just I'm in alignment. Attunement.
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  Yeah. And so once you start being in
• 20:46
  alignment and attunement, you'll start noticing that you are
• 20:48
  vibrating at the same frequency that the universe is vibrating
• 20:53
  at. So that's how you get to see
• 20:54
  those things come closer to you. Like the birds, like the
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  dragonflies, like, name it. Name something.
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  Yeah. Like even just like a beautiful
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  smell. Like how many times have you
• 21:05
  seen dogs come up to? Dogs.
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  Oh yeah. Oh yeah, Bub is all up right.
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  But minding my business, not me seeking it out.
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  So, yeah, well, and I just saw like a thing about walking into
• 21:20
  a room with and like this reminds me what you talk about.
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  Like it starts within, it's an inside job, whether you're, I
• 21:27
  mean, specifically this episode, obviously it's domestic violence
• 21:31
  awareness month. The podcast, you know, was kind
• 21:34
  of born out of narcissistic abuse and recovery and all that.
• 21:38
  But I feel like if someone's listening and they're not
• 21:40
  necessarily going through abuse recovery, an inside job is is
• 21:46
  applies to any adversity you're going through, right?
• 21:48
  But would it be? Could you say that everybody's
• 21:52
  recovering from something though?
• 21:55
  Great point, great point, Doesn't.
• 21:57
  Have to be necessarily abuse. You're right, but we're all.
• 22:00
  Recovering from something? Something that is.
• 22:02
  Something. Keeping us.
• 22:05
  From Yeah, yeah. Like our a self-destructive
• 22:08
  behavior, Insecurity about something.
• 22:12
  Silly or patterns relationships. Negative thinking Corporate
• 22:18
  covering from corporate recovering from.
• 22:20
  Corporate is an actual thing. I'm a corporate recovery.
• 22:25
  I mean, Oh my gosh. Wait, I.
• 22:28
  Yeah, if you're in, if you're in the wrong corporate, it's a very
• 22:31
  bad place to be because. There's parallels to abuse
• 22:33
  there, absolutely, because it's run by people and it's all
• 22:37
  relational. Everything's people, yeah.
• 22:39
  Everything's. People.
• 22:40
  Oh no, everything's people. Shit.
• 22:44
  And you know, like thankfully we have, if you believe you have
• 22:49
  the Holy Spirit at all times, which I forget that you can
• 22:53
  access that. Like when you're feeling that
• 22:56
  one thing. I do want to dive into a little
• 22:57
  bit, if you don't mind, tell me more about because I feel like
• 23:02
  someone listening might be angry about something.
• 23:04
  I'm just going to. I'm just going to.
• 23:05
  I mean, that might be a risky assumption.
• 23:09
  Well, if they're not, I am. OK, So this is for me then it
• 23:13
  feels anger feels. You feel strong, you feel and
• 23:18
  you're like, I'm angry, like you wronged me and I'm angry and I'm
• 23:23
  going to tell you about it. How is there I agree with you,
• 23:28
  but explain maybe if this is new for people.
• 23:31
  So you're telling me there there's grief under there?
• 23:34
  It can be, yeah. You're going to have to figure
• 23:37
  out what's layered underneath that.
• 23:39
  And I can coach you, but coach Sylvie.
• 23:43
  So anger is not bad, by the way. I hope that I have made that
• 23:46
  clear. There's not.
• 23:47
  Let me make that clear. Anger is not bad.
• 23:49
  It's just information. It's an indicator of something
• 23:52
  that needs to be looked at. So it's not bad.
• 23:56
  And feeling like convicted about something that somebody did to
• 23:59
  you is healthy. Your body is telling you like
• 24:02
  that wasn't OK. So anger's OK.
• 24:07
  It's what we do with that anger. Can we go around like raging on
• 24:11
  people and hurting other people with our anger?
• 24:14
  No, right. But anger is information.
• 24:19
  Shame is information. Guilt is information.
• 24:22
  All the things that we beat ourselves up over having is
• 24:26
  information. So if we could reframe our mind
• 24:29
  to look at it as it's here for me to like, observe and report.
• 24:37
  Love that. Right, observe and report.
• 24:40
  And then what do we do with that information?
• 24:43
  Yeah, right. Do we go see our therapist?
• 24:46
  Yes, we do. Absolutely.
• 24:49
  So I still go see a relational therapy.
• 24:52
  I love this. I will forever be healing.
• 24:54
  I think it's a forever job. You get to certain levels and
• 24:57
  then guess what? There's more.
• 24:58
  Something new pops up, right? You get to the OR a trigger or.
• 25:01
  Yeah, get to the root of things. So root so.
• 25:06
  And I didn't want. To I'm not a kid, I know that
• 25:08
  yeah, we talk in spider webs, but I think we eventually.
• 25:11
  It all comes together beautifully.
• 25:13
  Yeah, that's OK. No, it does.
• 25:16
  It does. I think.
• 25:19
  So what we had talked about before, like so we've talked
• 25:22
  about like the emotions, abuse, recovery, finding your own inner
• 25:28
  power, and then like consciously saying yes to healing.
• 25:33
  You have to say yes to it before some coach can come in, whether
• 25:37
  they're the most amazing coach ever.
• 25:38
  If you if I can't heal you, you can't heal anyone.
• 25:41
  No, I'm just a vessel or a conduit like so I, OK, here's a
• 25:48
  mark of AI think a authentic healer is we want to see you
• 25:53
  healed. We don't want to keep you stuck
• 25:55
  in a loop. I don't want you to continuously
• 25:58
  come back and back and back and back to fix something like I
• 26:03
  want to teach you how to self heal.
• 26:05
  So I want to give you the tools that I learned or I have
• 26:08
  empowered myself with for you to do on your own so that you can
• 26:12
  do this anywhere, in your car, at home, wherever.
• 26:17
  Yeah. And you can self heal because
• 26:19
  you're, I can't retrain your mind.
• 26:21
  I can't rewire your patterns, but you can by repetition and
• 26:28
  doing a new pattern. Yeah, doing a new thing.
• 26:30
  I'm doing a new thing. Doing a new thing and so part of
• 26:34
  your coaching, I think talking about all the emotions and what
• 26:38
  you've been through and is a good lead in to kind of give
• 26:43
  people a preview of what your coaching philosophy is.
• 26:48
  And I think they've heard a lot of it, obviously, But we we
• 26:51
  talked about the word root and you brought up root just now and
• 26:57
  I think I don't know if something about that word really
• 27:01
  helps me like you were saying, like ripping out the root.
• 27:05
  Tell me about we Why does the the the root analogy kind of
• 27:11
  inform? How do you look at healing?
• 27:13
  Yeah, So I look at healing in layers and sometimes it'll take
• 27:16
  years for you to get to the root.
• 27:17
  Like just this year I got to the root of something that kept
• 27:20
  coming up in my life and I finally got to the roof root of
• 27:24
  it. And it was something as simple
• 27:25
  as like, oh, what? What part of my playing in this
• 27:29
  that it keeps showing up on the outside?
• 27:32
  That is. Sounds simple, but it took me
• 27:34
  until this year of my life to figure out like this keeps
• 27:38
  showing up because I haven't healed something inside of
• 27:40
  myself. So this is a forever ongoing
• 27:43
  thing. But OK.
• 27:44
  So I talk about roots because roots go deep and they're
• 27:49
  sometimes, well, most times you can't see the roots.
• 27:52
  Yeah, right. And what's on top of the roots?
• 27:55
  Lots of dirt, mud, whatever. Like, think of what grows right?
• 28:00
  All little microbes I. Mean we literally Google this
• 28:03
  and I'm sure there's 1000 things that are layered on top of a
• 28:06
  root. Yeah.
• 28:08
  So when I talk about like emotions, those are layers on
• 28:11
  top of our roots. So anger is not is a symptom of
• 28:15
  what's happening at the root level, right?
• 28:18
  So are we carrying this anger from something, let's say most
• 28:22
  things childhood, right? Yeah.
• 28:25
  So that guard I carry, that guard was from childhood, right?
• 28:29
  I learned early on, gotta get that guard up, right?
• 28:33
  And I walked around like bracing for impact.
• 28:35
  Yeah, at all times. So I'm in survival mode the
• 28:39
  whole time. So it's just you have to like
• 28:41
  strip away layer by layer. So.
• 28:44
  So for me, anger was the first thing that would come up.
• 28:46
  So OK, OK. Are observed information Great.
• 28:51
  What's underneath the anger? OK.
• 28:54
  Then it was like, OK, grief. Well, what are you sad about?
• 28:57
  So you just keep, like, asking the questions.
• 29:01
  And sometimes you have to stop at grief and.
• 29:03
  And it'll take five years, OK. Or it'll take three months.
• 29:09
  Yeah, Right. But then you go deeper than
• 29:11
  grief. Well, what caused the grief,
• 29:13
  Right. So was it this narcissistic
• 29:16
  partner? OK, we stopped there for a
• 29:19
  while. And we heal at that level.
• 29:21
  Then it goes deeper. Well, where did this
• 29:23
  narcissistic partner dynamic come from?
• 29:28
  And have I been in this dynamic before, this pattern?
• 29:31
  And then if you start looking at your life, you're like, oh, this
• 29:34
  person has shown up in different faces, different bodies,
• 29:37
  different. Yeah.
• 29:39
  And then you heal there. And then I don't hear any
• 29:42
  shaming though. No, there's no shaming.
• 29:45
  Listen, you will have, there will be times where you will
• 29:48
  want to shame and guilt. But again, look at it as
• 29:50
  information. Do not get stuck there beating
• 29:52
  yourself up because it's because we're taught like this is
• 29:56
  shameful. Yeah, this is this you something
• 30:00
  caused guilt or whatever. But what if we didn't look at
• 30:03
  those things as good or bad and just information?
• 30:06
  Yeah. So then you get stuck.
• 30:07
  You don't get stuck in the loop of hurting yourself with that
• 30:10
  information. How about that?
• 30:12
  It's just information, like, OK, I witness you, you're here.
• 30:18
  What can we do about it? Where do we go from here?
• 30:22
  You know, instead of I hate myself, why do I keep doing this
• 30:27
  to myself? Like, like information, not good
• 30:31
  or bad. So all right, so the levels.
• 30:34
  So then OK, the narcissistic partners.
• 30:37
  OK, so this has been happening my whole life, right?
• 30:40
  So you start going back and then it's like, oh, where did this?
• 30:43
  Where did this first happen? And it's your mom or your dad or
• 30:49
  a sister or a brother or just whatever.
• 30:51
  It happened at some somebody where did the root?
• 30:54
  Somebody along the way? Where did the seed sprout right?
• 31:00
  Yep, and then you go back to the root.
• 31:02
  Yeah. And you heal what's there.
• 31:04
  But sometimes it's the most painful.
• 31:07
  Well, it is the most painful part because look how many
• 31:10
  layers we just layered on top of it to get away from it.
• 31:15
  That's why it's all on top, right, Because it's hard to it's
• 31:18
  hard to feel that. It's hard to feel that initial
• 31:20
  like wound or whatever it was. Yeah.
• 31:21
  And we? Don't want to face it, we've
• 31:23
  been running from it our whole entire life.
• 31:26
  Yeah, yeah, we. Have or we've been trying to
• 31:31
  heal it through other people, the outside, the outside?
• 31:36
  Healing. We're looking for it outside of
• 31:38
  ourselves because we want like let's.
• 31:43
  I'll use a parent for an example.
• 31:46
  Our parents can only love us at the capacity that they learned.
• 31:49
  Sure, right. And some of them didn't learn.
• 31:51
  Well, OK, And not all of us are blessed with love from a parent,
• 31:56
  right? Some of us just learn pain from
• 31:59
  a parent. So sometimes in life you will
• 32:06
  then search that out and other people to get what you didn't
• 32:11
  get from that parent and now replace parent with whatever
• 32:16
  person, right? Yeah, it doesn't have to be a
• 32:20
  parent, but and that's why the root hurts like hell.
• 32:24
  And like think of the actual act of ripping out a root.
• 32:27
  Have you ever heard that noise? That.
• 32:31
  It's a tearing. We can put a sound effect in.
• 32:33
  Here right now, but it's a tearing and do you ever, do you
• 32:37
  ever try to pull out a root and it gets stuck?
• 32:39
  It doesn't come out. How about?
• 32:43
  That that's. Yeah.
• 32:44
  What healing feels like sometimes.
• 32:47
  Oh. It hurts like hell, literally.
• 32:52
  Does because you have to sit and feel it what you've been running
• 32:56
  from. Yes, it's the feeling part.
• 32:58
  So what if we like witnessed it and sent what we needed as that
• 33:03
  child, as that person, as that adult, as whatever?
• 33:07
  Yeah. What what does that look like?
• 33:10
  What did that child need? OK, so if it's a parent, what
• 33:12
  did you need from that parent? And could you possibly start
• 33:16
  doing that for yourself? Like, could you put that energy
• 33:21
  back into yourself? And then radical, but like, what
• 33:26
  if you loved yourself so much and you knew yourself so well?
• 33:29
  Like we, it's like we live in this body, but do we really
• 33:33
  spend time knowing this person? Do we without the facade,
• 33:38
  without the personality, without the ego and hello, without the
• 33:43
  wounding? Because I've looked at life
• 33:45
  through my wounding and it's not pretty.
• 33:48
  I'm looking at people like, I don't trust you, right?
• 33:51
  When really it's like I should trust myself.
• 33:54
  And then from there I can discern whether I align with you
• 33:58
  or not. But it's not I don't trust you.
• 34:06
  We just. Figured something out you're I'm
• 34:08
  I had AI think I'm getting what you're saying like you used to
• 34:12
  come at it with like hey I don't trust you and like I'm ready if
• 34:15
  you come at me because you had and then versus I trust myself
• 34:22
  hi and then if if I if I need to discern that you're not for me I
• 34:27
  can do that but I don't feel like worried about you yeah so
• 34:30
  I've. Empowered myself and you're
• 34:33
  gonna show me information about you It's and I'm gonna just
• 34:37
  choose if that it's aligned or not or.
• 34:40
  A Yeah, yeah. You trust your intuition, You
• 34:45
  trust that. You trust that?
• 34:49
  Yes. And that tells you who to trust.
• 34:51
  So here's a good question about intuition.
• 34:53
  So a lot of people ask, well, how do you know it's your
• 34:54
  intuition? Yeah.
• 34:55
  So your intuition, it's a statement.
• 34:57
  It's a quiet statement, Ego or doubt, I would say it it's
• 35:07
  always posed as a question. So if you're asking questions
• 35:10
  about another person, that's usually doubt.
• 35:13
  But if something is a statement that there's a period at the end
• 35:16
  of what you just heard in yourself and your body and your
• 35:19
  whatever however comes up for you, that's intuition.
• 35:23
  So so for example, I don't feel safer on this person doesn't
• 35:27
  mean like physically safe, just emotionally.
• 35:29
  Safe or Yeah. Whatever, this is something.
• 35:31
  Something's off. Yeah, something's off.
• 35:33
  That's a statement. Something is off, Yes.
• 35:36
  Even though if you don't know what it is, that's.
• 35:38
  Yeah, it's not, not off because you because you feel it, right.
• 35:41
  Even if so, if you felt off, but I didn't feel off, you still
• 35:44
  feel off. It doesn't.
• 35:45
  Whether I feel off doesn't. It's irrelevant.
• 35:47
  Yeah. You trust your intuition, right?
• 35:50
  Yeah, we don't have to like deep dive into like their
• 35:53
  personality. No, you don't even know what
• 35:55
  they're. Wearing or whatever people do to
• 35:57
  like. Right to be like.
• 36:00
  What if we just were like, I'll pay attention to that, I'll pay
• 36:04
  attention to that, Yeah. You know, so it's a.
• 36:07
  Calm trust. That's what your vibe is.
• 36:10
  Thank you. It's a calm trust knowing that
• 36:13
  if those situations arise, you know when to bounce, but doesn't
• 36:17
  mean that everybody you meet is is that you know what I mean?
• 36:20
  And it doesn't always require a big reaction, by the way, like I
• 36:24
  think a lot of people nowadays think that like it requires a
• 36:27
  big reaction, but you don't have to announce it.
• 36:30
  You don't have to tell the other person.
• 36:32
  You just, you fade. Yeah, you fade out like a
• 36:36
  frequency. It's just like back to the
• 36:39
  energy and the frequency, it's like.
• 36:41
  Just whittles away. Yeah, turn the volume down.
• 36:45
  You're not like, hi, you suck, just so you know.
• 36:51
  But I also suck and I'm working on myself, no?
• 36:56
  So how does one It seems difficult to do this by
• 36:59
  yourself, Coach Sylvie. That sounds very.
• 37:06
  Commercial No, but no but but no.
• 37:09
  I it almost seems like How do you help yourself get out?
• 37:12
  How do you help yourself work through this without a
• 37:14
  facilitator of some kind? Do you know what I mean?
• 37:17
  It's something that resonates with you.
• 37:19
  So if it's talk therapy, go to talk therapy.
• 37:21
  If it's somatic therapy, go to somatic therapy.
• 37:24
  If it's energy, Sylvie, like comes, you know what I mean?
• 37:27
  Like it's just a guide, your intuition.
• 37:28
  Will tell you all of those. People that I just mentioned,
• 37:31
  plus many more that I'd have haven't mentioned, like they're
• 37:34
  just guides for you. They're.
• 37:36
  Just guides and. Sometimes they don't fit
• 37:38
  totally. You know, when I started my
• 37:40
  healing journey, gosh, of course I did talk therapy.
• 37:43
  Yeah, yeah. And sometimes that's very
• 37:45
  helpful. We're doing it right now.
• 37:48
  You have to. And then I tried other things,
• 37:52
  like from acupuncture to, like, I mean, like, I don't know,
• 37:55
  there's just nothing I wasn't willing to try, you know?
• 37:58
  Yeah. But again, I was looking for the
• 38:00
  fix. OK, so.
• 38:04
  But it all served a purpose. Yeah.
• 38:06
  You know. Yeah.
• 38:07
  So. And so if someone were to be
• 38:12
  open to maybe like, because you get all different kinds of
• 38:14
  listeners, like some people are like already into more of like
• 38:18
  the self introspection and healing and open to therapy.
• 38:23
  If someone is hearing this and is kind of like, I don't know,
• 38:27
  but I'm but something is telling me to maybe be interested where
• 38:30
  they're having that little pull. What would what could any
• 38:34
  session with you? Not everybody's different, but
• 38:38
  what could be some of the things that you might do in a session?
• 38:41
  And it doesn't have to be the first session or just.
• 38:44
  Well, tell me your experience with me, Ray I.
• 38:48
  Think we had a session basically the other night when I couldn't
• 38:53
  sleep. I was like riddled with anxiety.
• 38:58
  This is what like a week ago? 2.
• 39:00
  Weeks, 2 weeks ago, I was just like, mine was going and then I
• 39:06
  sent you a message and you were up.
• 39:08
  Yes. And I was like, Oh my gosh,
• 39:10
  she's up. And you literally talked me
• 39:14
  through through questions the layers of like why I was so
• 39:20
  triggered by this situation person.
• 39:24
  And I realized like through that series of questions because we
• 39:26
  talk a lot, but you were really present with me there and you
• 39:32
  were like asking me questions that led me to realize like
• 39:38
  something I hadn't realized ever before that it was this like
• 39:41
  wound of like being chosen right.
• 39:47
  Yeah, because and I, and I like even when I say that right now,
• 39:50
  like I have flashbacks to like middle school or elementary,
• 39:52
  like even little moments, just even where I think socially,
• 39:57
  like I wasn't measuring up. Yeah.
• 40:01
  And then something with this person filled that.
• 40:06
  But then dark parts of a person in my life reminded me of things
• 40:12
  like you just talked me through exactly why the trigger was
• 40:16
  there. And I remember going, holy shit.
• 40:19
  But you took yourself there because I just.
• 40:22
  Asked. I couldn't.
• 40:23
  But I couldn't get. I, I couldn't.
• 40:25
  I was sitting there in the middle of the night.
• 40:26
  I couldn't get anywhere without somebody guiding me through this
• 40:29
  block of like. And then as soon as I realized
• 40:33
  it, I was like, OK, yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense
• 40:36
  why there's this rage. Yeah.
• 40:39
  Because that reminded me of that.
• 40:41
  And didn't it take the sting of the rage away a bit?
• 40:44
  Didn't you feel some relief? Well, yeah, because you don't
• 40:47
  feel like you understand the route.
• 40:52
  I had never equated that situation with that specific
• 40:56
  period. And we talked without getting
• 40:58
  too into it. It was it was like, oh, yeah,
• 41:02
  OK, that's what that didn't know that that reminded me of that.
• 41:05
  It's. All connected, you know, I could
• 41:08
  share some of my deepest ones, like belonging.
• 41:11
  Yeah. And rejection, you know?
• 41:13
  Yeah. And it's in so many groups.
• 41:16
  It's not just elementary school or whatever.
• 41:18
  It's so many groups I've tried to like, belong to and so much
• 41:24
  rejection. Yeah, but I've purposed it look
• 41:29
  like I've purposed it. So.
• 41:30
  OK, so I don't belong anywhere because I belong everywhere.
• 41:33
  How about that? How about that?
• 41:35
  Maybe I'm not meant to belong anywhere too long.
• 41:37
  Maybe it's all just I'm here for a good time, which is.
• 41:48
  Pretty on brand. But.
• 41:49
  Like, we're not cutting that out, OK?
• 41:52
  Don't you still be here for a good time?
• 41:54
  Not a long time, OK. Oh my God.
• 41:55
  But. Anyway.
• 41:58
  It's true, though we don't know when life is over.
• 42:00
  We're blessed, but. Like, yeah, so you know, and I'm
• 42:03
  not saying I don't want to put roots down anywhere or whatever,
• 42:06
  but I do have my core. Like I do belong.
• 42:09
  I do belong. You've got your people who see
• 42:11
  you and you know them and that, yeah, when when a couple people
• 42:14
  see you, yeah, you feel seen, right?
• 42:18
  And I think if I'm going to answer my own question right
• 42:21
  now, I was like, I put roots down where it's authentic.
• 42:25
  So authenticity breeds authenticity.
• 42:27
  And so I think that is where that's where I'm at.
• 42:32
  And so yeah. And it's, it's like it's, it's
• 42:36
  not going to be quantity. No.
• 42:39
  Like, you know, unfortunately authenticity is not very
• 42:43
  prevalent everywhere, you know, but I'm not saying it can't be.
• 42:47
  You just got to get them lasers. We got to.
• 42:50
  Get them. We got to get them layers.
• 42:51
  We got to tear off the layers. I'm seeing like roots of in my
• 42:58
  mind, I just had a vision of like a tree with all the roots,
• 43:02
  my poor little tree of life that has so much stuff and that those
• 43:08
  roots are I, I just, we all have it.
• 43:12
  We all have it and it's like almost what's the alternative if
• 43:17
  you don't kind of face the pain and explore the roots or you
• 43:20
  continue living in this reactive, you're repeating the
• 43:24
  pattern over again. Whatever you're not trying to
• 43:26
  get away from will keep happening.
• 43:28
  Absolutely they. Just show up in a different
• 43:29
  person, a different. Job.
• 43:32
  Environment. Friend.
• 43:33
  Absolutely. But it's the same lesson.
• 43:36
  Yeah. And you'll notice there's
• 43:37
  parallels, like I've learned the same lesson with abusive people
• 43:40
  in corporate. So same person.
• 43:42
  I was like. Why are you here?
• 43:45
  It's almost like the mask. You're like, is it?
• 43:46
  No, it's the same way. It's like they're gonna.
• 43:48
  It's so I, I kind of went through a midlife, but people
• 43:52
  point it midlife crisis, but I called it a midlife
• 43:54
  reorganization because it wasn't a crisis for me.
• 43:57
  The crisis was staying where I wasn't, where I wasn't aligned
• 44:00
  right. That was the crisis for me, but
• 44:02
  I didn't realize it at the time. Yeah, I was having panic
• 44:05
  attacks. And you know, which honestly is
• 44:10
  it's a misalignment when you're having anxiety and panic attacks
• 44:13
  or there's something misaligned. It's an alarm.
• 44:16
  Yeah, it's an absolutely. It's an alarm.
• 44:18
  But your body thinks it's like, I gotta get out of here, I'm
• 44:20
  gonna die, which your soul is saying.
• 44:23
  Your soul is dying, Yeah. Your soul is dying.
• 44:26
  So my soul is dying in corporate.
• 44:28
  It just wasn't aligned with me. So because I want to help the
• 44:33
  greater good, this is my joy. Whether I get anything out of it
• 44:37
  or not, it doesn't matter. Like, I just want to help.
• 44:41
  That's why I was saying I don't want to keep people stuck in a
• 44:42
  loop. Like I don't want you to pad my
• 44:44
  bank account by be keeping you in a loop of trauma, grief.
• 44:49
  Like I want to see you relieved. Freedom.
• 44:52
  Yeah. Joyful.
• 44:54
  Do you know what I mean? I want the tools to do that.
• 44:57
  Totally. So, you know, if God's going to
• 44:59
  have me living off of whatever, but I'm still helping the
• 45:04
  greater good, it doesn't matter. It comes back in so many
• 45:08
  different. Ways you feel it.
• 45:09
  Yeah. It comes back in so many
• 45:11
  different ways. And I'm still provided for.
• 45:14
  Yeah, I'm still provided for. Yeah, yeah.
• 45:17
  Well, and this coaching role, I think it's you've stepped into
• 45:23
  it through all the work you've done.
• 45:27
  So it's almost like there had to be this.
• 45:31
  I keep getting all these visuals.
• 45:34
  You were on the runway of the healing, and now when you're
• 45:39
  taking off, you're literally like, OK, now I'm equipped to
• 45:43
  facilitate and help other people.
• 45:45
  Yeah. And then I think God kind of
• 45:47
  brought me back to the basics, too, because, like, I was like,
• 45:50
  I have this time on my hands, too.
• 45:52
  So now I can pour into, like, being with my daughter.
• 45:54
  Yeah. And I'm not in elementary
• 45:56
  school. Yeah.
• 45:56
  I mean, hello. So it's like I'm relearning
• 46:00
  where it all started relationally with other human
• 46:04
  beings because it starts with your family, right?
• 46:07
  But then you start going out to the world socially.
• 46:10
  Are you literally healing your inner child on the playground?
• 46:13
  I think. So I think So what A.
• 46:15
  Interest cuz that it all starts. I can hear it now.
• 46:18
  The whistle, the smell, the blacktop, the bell.
• 46:21
  That's where we all are. Like all that those roots,
• 46:24
  right? God puts me in places that I'm
• 46:27
  like literally doing immersive therapy.
• 46:30
  You, you, you're in it. Yeah, dude.
• 46:32
  But. Like I've made choices that it's
• 46:36
  almost like I'm living out the therapy and now it's like, you
• 46:39
  know, every. So I was telling you on the way
• 46:42
  here that I'm not like this. Like I, I this year served me a
• 46:50
  little dose of humility in my healing journey 'cause I
• 46:53
  thought, oh, I'm so far along meaning like I'm untouchable to
• 46:57
  those old patterns. But boy, when you like have
• 47:02
  your, you know, like when you're not looking, like sometimes the
• 47:06
  universe will be like, well, are you truly where you say you're
• 47:09
  at? And it'll test you with things.
• 47:11
  And so this year was kind of a reckoning of that.
• 47:14
  And I got myself in a situation, but instead of looking at it in
• 47:20
  blindly or unconsciously, I literally was like, Oh my God,
• 47:23
  I'm in an immersive master class.
• 47:25
  Like this is the final boss. Like I'm living it because you
• 47:30
  will get to a place in your healing, but then you're going
• 47:33
  to have to, like, live it out. And that's in relations with
• 47:38
  other people and it. Yeah.
• 47:40
  You can't control them. 'Cause I, I, I was a hermit.
• 47:43
  I hibernated for a while and that's what I needed.
• 47:46
  My soul needed that for a while. And then I came out of, you
• 47:49
  know, the hibernation or whatever.
• 47:50
  Yep. The cocoon if.
• 47:52
  You want? It's a whole thing, yeah.
• 47:54
  And so now I have to go back out into the world and work and and
• 47:59
  and live and date and work with other people and guess what
• 48:05
  comes up to, to see where you are in your healing, those old.
• 48:11
  Patterns and roots. Yeah.
• 48:13
  So, OK, so here's the good news. So patterns is just like, like
• 48:17
  code, right, Like in a computer. So now you just recode, but it's
• 48:21
  Rep. It takes repetition.
• 48:23
  It takes you have to be cognizant, you have to be
• 48:26
  conscious. Like you have to be, Yeah.
• 48:29
  Give me an example. So let's if you let's say I
• 48:31
  notice a pattern and you did you noticed that your pattern came
• 48:34
  back up, What does one? And again, if you want real
• 48:39
  coaching on it, the investment in the coaching, I think is
• 48:41
  where you really get that, Hey, what did we work on last week?
• 48:43
  Kind of like how are we working through this thing?
• 48:44
  But what's one thing you do after you notice you're like,
• 48:50
  OK, do you try to just catch yourself?
• 48:54
  Yeah, well, I asked myself a lot of those.
• 48:56
  Questions. Questions.
• 48:57
  A lot of, yeah, a lot of curiosity into why am I here
• 49:02
  again, What's why is this, you know, why is this coming up?
• 49:06
  What is still unhealed? You know what I mean?
• 49:10
  Yeah, the questions reveal. Yeah, cuz.
• 49:12
  So you just collect more data. Yeah, keep collecting data.
• 49:15
  You're just like a little data scientist of your soul.
• 49:18
  And then start making daily like adjustments.
• 49:23
  Tweak what you're doing. And not every day is gonna be
• 49:26
  perfect, right? OK.
• 49:28
  It is it. No.
• 49:29
  So what? OK, so rage came up for me this
• 49:32
  year. Yeah.
• 49:33
  And I thought that beast was tamed and, you know, rage came
• 49:38
  up. So I was like, oh hi old.
• 49:42
  Friend Hey, thought we had our Yeah, didn't we talk about this?
• 49:47
  But it was also situational, right?
• 49:50
  I had I had put myself, I had chosen to put myself in a
• 49:54
  situation that. Made.
• 49:58
  All of those old habits, patterns, things come up.
• 50:05
  So then it's the questions are like, why are you here?
• 50:07
  Yeah, what what are you doing here?
• 50:10
  Like, what do you need from this situation?
• 50:13
  Do you know what do you mean like?
• 50:15
  Yeah, so so you were able to, I think this is where the word
• 50:21
  again, little things keep coming to my mind Like that to me
• 50:24
  sounds like like a Christ consciousness of because again,
• 50:29
  I'm raised Catholic, but only recently started developing a
• 50:33
  personal relationship with Jesus, God.
• 50:36
  That to me, the way that you're coaching and the way that you're
• 50:40
  talking to yourself feels like a Christ consciousness of someone
• 50:44
  sitting with you going, hey, we're here.
• 50:46
  Yeah, man, this is tough to be here again.
• 50:49
  So what's going on right? Is that like it's just.
• 50:53
  It's not. What are we doing here again?
• 50:55
  Damn it. Yeah, cuz that's how I'm like
• 50:57
  again. Bree, we're here again.
• 50:59
  Remember I. Said talk to yourself the way
• 51:01
  you talk to somebody you love. So would you talk to your
• 51:03
  daughter that way? Would you talk to your son that
• 51:05
  way? Never talk to your husband.
• 51:07
  Well, maybe, but sometimes. But like, so give your inner
• 51:12
  child the voice that you've been wanting your whole life, the
• 51:17
  love, the respect, the honor, the witnessing, like everything
• 51:21
  you've ever wanted from another human being, you give it, do it
• 51:26
  for yourself. And I'm glad you brought up the
• 51:28
  Christ Consciousness thing because like, I was also raised
• 51:30
  Catholic. That's my culture.
• 51:31
  And then, you know, when I had a choice, I went into Christianity
• 51:35
  and whatever, and then there were times I did not have
• 51:38
  anything going. On yeah, I was just like in and
• 51:40
  out. But what I realized is, like, I
• 51:44
  honor those things for what they are, but for me, my presence
• 51:49
  doesn't always fit in those spaces.
• 51:52
  Sure, because I talk about things that are like, wildly,
• 51:57
  maybe inappropriate to them or whatever, But like, I'm OK with
• 52:01
  that. Like, yeah, they're a community.
• 52:03
  And again, goes back to the belonging.
• 52:05
  Maybe I'm not there for a whole long time.
• 52:08
  Yeah. Do you know what I mean?
• 52:09
  Yeah, but I honor it. I see it for what it is.
• 52:12
  But I'm bigger. I think I'm bigger.
• 52:14
  Than some of the spaces, yeah. So right.
• 52:16
  Long to God when you you meant that and not like a I'm the shit
• 52:20
  like I'm better than I'm everywhere, just like everyone's
• 52:22
  every like we're all. But it's still Christ
• 52:25
  consciousness. Yeah.
• 52:26
  So I'm still moving in the world.
• 52:28
  With Christ. Consciousness, it just doesn't
• 52:31
  fit in a category box compartment I don't fit.
• 52:37
  And that's OK. And that's yeah.
• 52:38
  And then? Yeah, yeah.
• 52:40
  My presence just doesn't. Yeah, it irritates.
• 52:44
  I don't know, I just I can't go anywhere that makes me feel like
• 52:48
  I have to be a smaller version of myself.
• 52:51
  Yes, okay, but that's my that's my life.
• 52:55
  That doesn't mean that it doesn't work for other.
• 52:57
  People. Totally, totally.
• 52:58
  You have to find what works for you and your relationship to
• 53:01
  God. Yeah, sometimes it's church,
• 53:05
  whether it's whatever your belief is and.
• 53:08
  It might turn some people off, but.
• 53:09
  That's OK. Like I used to be afraid of, I
• 53:12
  used to be afraid of like not afraid of, well, hesitant with
• 53:16
  God and Jesus on the podcast, but I'm like, that's gone now
• 53:20
  and I don't care. And if it's not for you to hear,
• 53:22
  then it's not for you to hear. And it's like, I wasn't ready to
• 53:25
  hear things right three years ago and now I'm ready.
• 53:29
  So like everybody comes into different things at different
• 53:31
  times, but for me, the closer I get to getting to know this
• 53:34
  person named Jesus, I'm it's helping.
• 53:38
  Yep. So I know I have a relationship
• 53:40
  with him. The relationship.
• 53:42
  Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah.
• 53:43
  So just I'm gonna do a little time check here real quick.
• 53:48
  Yeah, 208, by the way, I'm really, I know, I'm really happy
• 53:54
  with, hopefully I'm happy with how this is.
• 53:56
  Turning. I am too actually.
• 53:57
  Because it's, it can be synced like our little Julian will edit
• 54:00
  it literally but. But I was it's nervous.
• 54:02
  And then I sat here and then I have not stopped.
• 54:04
  And then we. No, that's the point.
• 54:07
  Well, he's also great because he makes it super easy.
• 54:09
  We're like, hey, I'm a gosh, he's like, you guys talk a lot.
• 54:13
  I. Can't wait to hear his.
• 54:14
  Thoughts. Oh yeah, he's like I she's like,
• 54:16
  this is my second hour with this lady.
• 54:18
  She's she's a lot. Just kidding.
• 54:22
  He's like, no, because we've, we've hit on from episode 41.
• 54:28
  You talked about your experience.
• 54:30
  Again, I don't want to gloss over the theme of this month,
• 54:33
  which is domestic violence awareness month.
• 54:37
  And you as a coach can, if somebody is hearing this right
• 54:43
  now, even if they don't live in California, you can help them
• 54:49
  from afar navigate a very specific situation, which is
• 54:54
  domestic abuse, right? Yeah, if they're going through
• 54:57
  that. But let's let's look at how this
• 55:00
  worked out. OK, so that's the pain that got
• 55:03
  me here. Yeah.
• 55:04
  But look at the purpose that was born out of it.
• 55:08
  Exactly. So I didn't was that bad when I
• 55:11
  said that. I'll cut that up.
• 55:12
  No, no. No, no.
• 55:14
  I think it's important to note like, OK, so yes, clarify it is
• 55:19
  domestic Violence Awareness Month and it's important to tie
• 55:21
  that in. Yeah, I don't want to gloss over
• 55:26
  it either. You're you're you are you are a
• 55:31
  coach for anyone who is seeking pain, grief, trauma.
• 55:36
  That is just how if you're hearing this and that's what
• 55:39
  you're in. Yep, you totally can help If
• 55:42
  you're hearing this and you're like, can't relate.
• 55:44
  I've been married. I love my marriage, but there's
• 55:48
  this pain. What's?
• 55:49
  What's the? What is that?
• 55:51
  But by the way, I'm having panic attacks, but I'm fine just
• 55:53
  having panic attacks, No, Maybe that's some that's something
• 55:57
  that you can help with. Yeah.
• 55:59
  That's really cool. So it's not just people who have
• 56:01
  been through that specific situation.
• 56:03
  Well, so, OK, so let me let me see if I can tie this up nicely.
• 56:06
  Yeah. So like, yes, it's domestic
• 56:09
  violence awareness month and and that's the the pain that caused
• 56:15
  the purpose to be birthed, right?
• 56:17
  Yes, helping others through their pain, grief and trauma.
• 56:21
  Yep, whether it's from abuse or otherwise.
• 56:24
  Yeah, yeah. And it's all about, I think
• 56:29
  loving yourself enough to give yourself that gift of coaching,
• 56:34
  right, or whatever that is. If, if, if you're hearing this
• 56:38
  and anything that Sylvie has said, Coach Sylvie now I'm going
• 56:41
  to link to all of her websites, Instagram, all the places where
• 56:46
  you can learn more about her. Obviously they got a little
• 56:49
  slice of of you here, but like episode 41 as well.
• 56:53
  If you feel like your intuition is telling you that there's a
• 56:56
  resonance with Sylvie, check out episode 41.
• 57:02
  Message her directly. All the information will be in
• 57:05
  the show notes, but I, I think it's wonderful to have you back
• 57:10
  because it's sort of like this thread throughout the podcast of
• 57:14
  maybe you just come back every 20 episodes and give us some
• 57:17
  wisdom on your coaching practice and your healing journey.
• 57:22
  Yeah, I was on my immersive therapy like it was ongoing.
• 57:25
  I live it, and then I help you live through it.
• 57:27
  You're like, oh, just deal with that yesterday.
• 57:29
  You're like, I just healed that yesterday.
• 57:31
  Good timing, right? Any parting words for anyone who
• 57:36
  might be hearing this with tears in their eyes or hearing this
• 57:41
  with pain of something maybe they haven't spoken about or
• 57:46
  anything you want to send them off with?
• 57:50
  Yeah, I think it's important to look at that pain and love on
• 57:58
  that pain, witness that pain. I think a lot of survivors and
• 58:02
  victims sit in the silence because they don't think that
• 58:05
  anybody's going to understand. But there is a whole community
• 58:09
  of us out here that not only understands but is willing to
• 58:13
  like, sit and witness it with you.
• 58:16
  So, like, stop telling your story to the people who don't
• 58:19
  understand or don't know or have been so blessed not to live
• 58:24
  through abuse. Because that's the thing, we
• 58:26
  talked to people who've never lived through a narcissistic
• 58:28
  abuse situation, and they're looking at it from a logical
• 58:32
  perspective. And it's not a logical thing.
• 58:34
  It's not something you can logically understand, right?
• 58:39
  Because, and that's a good thing.
• 58:40
  You know what that means? That means you haven't been a
• 58:44
  victim of it. It also means that your thought
• 58:48
  process doesn't think like a narcissist, like an abusive
• 58:51
  narcissist. You know what I mean?
• 58:54
  So, yeah, So some people can't wrap their heads around it.
• 58:59
  So just know that just plug into the communities and the people
• 59:02
  that understand your pain and then want to love on you too.
• 59:07
  They want to love on you because they're a little bit farther
• 59:10
  along in their journey. And so like there is there is a
• 59:15
  place for you that can start leading you into the places that
• 59:21
  can heal your heart. Beautifully said.
• 59:25
  And thank you for having me. Of course.
• 59:29
  Well, the we'll just cut that part out.
• 59:33
  We'll wrap. I wanna say one more.
• 59:35
  Thing, yeah, I'm like, I don't know how to close an episode.
• 59:37
  Okay, so one of the things that I had said on our way here too
• 59:41
  was you have a gift for seeing and others something sometimes
• 59:47
  they don't see and you want to uplift them and you want to put
• 59:51
  them out there to be seen. And that's a gift.
• 59:54
  And I thank you for that because there's a lot of people that
• 59:57
  would want to hold back the people's gifts like for whatever
• 1:00:03
  reason, sure. But I think that the true mark
• 1:00:07
  of a Holy Spirit LED person is somebody who wants to see
• 1:00:12
  somebody show their Holy Spirit gifts.
• 1:00:16
  And put that out into the world. So thank you for that.
• 1:00:19
  Thank you for that. Well, thank you.
• 1:00:21
  Thank you for not hiding baby in the corner.
• 1:00:26
  Never, never don't put. Me in the.
• 1:00:28
  Corner, I will never put you in the corner.
• 1:00:30
  Thank you for you're welcome. It's very easy to I mean you are
• 1:00:34
  just like shining bright. I'm just I just put a microphone
• 1:00:38
  in front of your face, that's all.
• 1:00:40
  But you're very welcome. And with that, I'm just going to
• 1:00:44
  go sail off into the sunset with that beautiful compliment.
• 1:00:48
  Thank you so much for joining Sylvie, for hearing her story.
• 1:00:53
  If you are interested in working with Sylvie, check out the show
• 1:00:56
  notes, all the ways to contact her.
• 1:00:58
  And from Sylvie and I, we wish you a beautiful healing journey,
• 1:01:03
  a very authentic healing journey that you know, it is what it is,
• 1:01:08
  right? And I don't know how to close an
• 1:01:10
  episode. So see, this is what happens
• 1:01:12
  when you just talk. Cut me off.