Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S1 Ep27: "Santino's Secrets/ Behind the Laughs"

Transcript

S1 Ep27: "Santino's Secrets/ Behind the Laughs" · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

0:43
SPEAKER_02: Fantastic.
0:45
SPEAKER_02: It's so good to be here.
0:47
SPEAKER_02: You have to excuse me if I'm a little tired.
0:50
SPEAKER_02: I'm not getting a lot of sleep lately because I'm a human being and I never trust someone that does get good sleep.
0:59
SPEAKER_02: When I meet a guy, he's like, eh, I get like nine or ten hours of sleep a night.
1:02
SPEAKER_02: I'm always like, oh, cool.
1:03
SPEAKER_02: You.
1:04
SPEAKER_02: You don't have worries and stuff?
1:06
SPEAKER_02: You don't have anything.
1:07
SPEAKER_02: How do you sleep at night?
1:09
SPEAKER_02: Honestly, how do you get to sleep at night?
1:12
SPEAKER_02: I would love to know.
1:14
SPEAKER_02: I uh am falling in and out of uh not being able to get to sleep, and the biggest issue I'm having is uh outside of my bedroom window, uh there's a tree.
1:24
SPEAKER_02: And inside the tree is all the birds in the entire world.
1:31
SPEAKER_02: All the birds in the world were like, let's go to the tree, and they all came and they're like, You want to wake him up all the time and yell?
1:39
SPEAKER_02: And they're like, Yeah, that's how so fun, how fun to ruin this guy's life.
1:44
SPEAKER_02: They chirp as loud as they can at around three or four in the morning.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: I mean, they sc at the top of their little lungs, which I would love to pop one by one, just pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: Just like bubble rep.
1:54
SPEAKER_02: I want to go down the road, like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
1:58
SPEAKER_02: But they yell, and so here I am at four in the morning Googling how to kill all the birds.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: And Google's like, I have no idea.
2:06
SPEAKER_02: I don't know, you you're crazy.
2:08
SPEAKER_02: And I got in an internet wormhole.
2:10
SPEAKER_02: You know how you get in like a wormhole and you're like, why how am I on the Home Depot website?
2:14
SPEAKER_02: How did that did?
2:15
SPEAKER_02: I just buy lawn furniture?
2:16
SPEAKER_02: I don't have a lawn.
2:17
SPEAKER_02: How did I get here?
2:18
SPEAKER_02: Uh but I saw this subcategory and it said, in this part of Southern California, this particular bird, it's it's high mating season.
2:27
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, oh, that's right.
2:28
SPEAKER_02: The bird call is their mating season.
2:30
SPEAKER_02: I've we all know that.
2:31
SPEAKER_02: You know, like that's that makes perfect sense.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: I can't believe I missed that, but I thought, the nerve of this dude.
2:37
SPEAKER_02: Like the nerve of these guys that I have to wake up at four in the morning because they want to wake up at four in the morning to just go, all right.
2:47
SPEAKER_04: Who wants some dick?
2:48
SPEAKER_04: Who wants some dick?
2:49
SPEAKER_04: Who want some dick?
2:50
SPEAKER_04: Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
3:04
SPEAKER_04: Mike, come here.
3:04
SPEAKER_04: Dick, deck, dick, dick, deck.
3:08
SPEAKER_02: That's just what that guy gets to do.
3:11
SPEAKER_02: That's what that man gets to do.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: Just scream it out loud.
3:15
SPEAKER_02: And then he just gets to wait.
3:16
SPEAKER_02: You realize he just gets to sit there and wait until a female bird catches literal wind of it flying by and goes, Oh, yes, um what what what what what what what what what what wet wet wet wet wet what what what what what what what what she flies to him, they make her the love, that's how they do that.
3:38
SPEAKER_02: Brilliant creatures.
3:40
SPEAKER_02: What are we doing talking to one another?
3:44
SPEAKER_02: What a waste of our time! We should just walk into a bar and be like, what a f what a f what a f what a f what a f what a f no, no, no, no, fine, fine, fine, and then go home.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: Right?
4:05
SPEAKER_02: I don't know, I'm just getting irritated as I get older.
4:08
SPEAKER_02: The more people I meet, the more people I hate.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: That's kind of my theory.
4:13
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know when you hold a door for somebody and they don't say thank you, and you're like, oh, cool, I should just be able to kill you now.
4:21
SPEAKER_02: Like, I should just be able to take you out.
4:24
SPEAKER_02: We don't need you anymore.
4:26
SPEAKER_02: I held the door for you.
4:27
SPEAKER_02: You didn't say anything?
4:28
SPEAKER_02: I should just be able to have a leather pouch with stones in it.
4:32
SPEAKER_02: And no thank no thank you?
4:34
SPEAKER_02: Okay, sounds good.
4:35
SPEAKER_02: That's what you get.
4:36
SPEAKER_02: That's what you get.
4:37
SPEAKER_02: That's what you get.
4:39
SPEAKER_02: Just say thank.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: Be a grown-up.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: Say thank you.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: Minimal stuff gets under my skin now.
4:45
SPEAKER_02: It's like the smallest thing.
4:47
SPEAKER_02: Like, I hate when I go when I go in a public bathroom and they don't have paper towel.
4:54
SPEAKER_02: It drives me crazy.
4:56
SPEAKER_02: We all feel it, but no one says anything.
4:58
SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't want your hot wall air.
5:03
SPEAKER_02: No.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: Give me a dead tree.
5:05
SPEAKER_02: I'm a grown man.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: I don't need hot wall air.
5:10
SPEAKER_02: That's what I have to work with?
5:14
SPEAKER_02: Or even worse, when they have like the wall-mounted ones that you have to shimmy your hands into and play operation so not to touch the sides.
5:24
SPEAKER_02: It's disgusting.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: Give me a paper towel.
5:28
SPEAKER_02: We all want a paper towel because we dry off our hands with it, right?
5:32
SPEAKER_02: And then you use it to what?
5:34
SPEAKER_02: Open the door! Yes, America! Because I'm not because I'm not disgusting.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: So I grab the paper towel, I dry off with it, and then I open the door, I wedge my foot in the door there, and then I grab the paper towel, crumple it up, I look down to my right, and if there isn't a trash can there, I just throw the paper towel where the trash can't supposed to go.
6:00
SPEAKER_02: So the establishment knows, guys, that's where that goes.
6:04
SPEAKER_02: You think I'm gonna reach back?
6:05
SPEAKER_02: I don't know, no, I don't think so.
6:07
SPEAKER_02: I love to see other paper towels there.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, we're here, we're here.
6:14
SPEAKER_02: Kids are just getting too soft.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: Like I picked up my buddy's kid from a from this uh this little this park in this playground that he was at, and I just, it's so sad because there I looked at the playground, there was nowhere to get hurt.
6:27
SPEAKER_02: Like, there was nowhere for tetanus to be caught.
6:29
SPEAKER_02: I was like, what?
6:31
SPEAKER_02: Come on, where's creepy rapey Phil?
6:34
SPEAKER_02: Like, there's no one.
6:37
SPEAKER_02: It was the safest playground I've ever seen in my life.
6:39
SPEAKER_02: Everything was plastic, it was really cute and nice, and there was like cut-up rubber on the ground for them to land on.
6:45
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, this is exactly the opposite of what my playgrounds were like.
6:49
SPEAKER_02: When we were kids, do you remember our playgrounds?
6:52
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what wack-adoo team of engineers was making our playgrounds, but they wanted to kill us.
6:59
SPEAKER_02: They wanted to hurt us so bad.
7:02
SPEAKER_02: They were just in a room, like, all right, we gotta uh gotta make a playground.
7:06
SPEAKER_02: Um let's gotta make a slide.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: I guess we gotta make a slide for them.
7:10
SPEAKER_02: Uh hey, is it gonna be sitting in the sun all day long?
7:15
SPEAKER_02: We should make it out of metal.
7:16
SPEAKER_02: Make it out of metal! Yes, make it out of metal.
7:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it'll burn right through their little umbro shorts.
7:24
SPEAKER_02: They'll just get on it and just uh skivvy down and just blood trails all the way down the slide.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it'll be hilarious.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: What about in the winter?
7:33
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it'll be an ice luge.
7:34
SPEAKER_02: It'll be an ice luge.
7:36
SPEAKER_02: What's gonna slow them down at the bottom?
7:38
SPEAKER_02: Probably their face.
7:38
SPEAKER_02: Their faces will slow them down.
7:41
SPEAKER_02: They have these diabolical machines that were like, go get me a truck tire, put some rusty chains on it.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: Just I want a big piece of metal that just spins around for no reason.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
7:52
SPEAKER_02: What's it gonna oh, someone will just die on it for sure.
7:56
SPEAKER_02: Or my favorite.
7:58
SPEAKER_02: My favorite was go get me a huge piece of wood, a big two by four.
8:02
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna put a uh a thing, a bar in the middle of it.
8:04
SPEAKER_02: It's uh just gonna rock up and down.
8:06
SPEAKER_02: And the sole safety of an eight-year-old kid ten feet off the ground will just be some other eight-year-old kid.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: You think he's gonna jump off when his buddy no, no, no.
8:16
SPEAKER_02: The whole time you were like, You having fun, man?
8:20
SPEAKER_02: Can't wait to break your hip! That's how you make friends.
8:30
SPEAKER_02: You make friends because you know you can hurt somebody.
8:32
SPEAKER_02: You're like, I love you, I want to break you in a million pieces.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever had a friend who's so bad at following you in their car that you just don't want to be friends with them anymore?
8:45
SPEAKER_02: You know, you know when you're like, hey man, follow me to the place, and they're like, okay, I'll mess this up for sure.
8:51
SPEAKER_02: My buddy Nick, I love him to death, but every time I'm like, just follow me.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: You have one job.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: Follow my car in your car.
8:58
SPEAKER_02: And he's like, okay.
9:00
SPEAKER_02: And then halfway through, I'll have to pull over and call him on the Bluetooth and be like, hey, buddy, I saw that you stopped at a yellow light again.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: Like an idiot.
9:11
SPEAKER_02: We all know better.
9:12
SPEAKER_02: Green, go.
9:13
SPEAKER_02: Red, stop, yellow, go.
9:15
SPEAKER_02: Everybody go as fast as you possibly can.
9:20
SPEAKER_02: What are you doing?
9:21
SPEAKER_02: I want to get out of my car sometimes at a yell and be like, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
9:24
SPEAKER_02: Come on, this doesn't matter.
9:26
SPEAKER_02: Let's go.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: And he was like, Yeah, dude, okay, I obey traffic laws.
9:29
SPEAKER_02: You don't.
9:30
SPEAKER_02: And I said, You're right.
9:31
SPEAKER_02: He's right.
9:32
SPEAKER_02: I don't.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: For the majority of them, I don't because they're bullshit.
9:36
SPEAKER_02: They're so dumb, they're made up, and we're like, okay okay.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: We just respect them for no reason.
9:41
SPEAKER_02: They're made up.
9:42
SPEAKER_02: When I get to a four-way stop sign and there's no other cars there, I'm not gonna stop.
9:48
SPEAKER_02: Ever.
9:49
SPEAKER_02: What am I stopping for?
9:50
SPEAKER_02: There's no other vehicles there.
9:52
SPEAKER_02: It's a question.
9:53
SPEAKER_02: Stop?
9:54
SPEAKER_02: No, thank you.
9:54
SPEAKER_02: Thank you, though.
9:56
SPEAKER_02: I appreciate your input, but I'm just gonna keep on rolling.
9:59
SPEAKER_02: We're the youngest country in the world, and we think that we can do it better.
10:03
SPEAKER_02: The rest of the world, if you ever been outside this country, they have roundabouts.
10:05
SPEAKER_02: Roundabouts is what they have, right?
10:07
SPEAKER_02: And America was like, nah, nah, nah, we're gonna f that up.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: Roundabouts make perfect sense.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah?
10:14
SPEAKER_02: Like a little British guy gets in his little British car and he drives up to a little British intersection.
10:18
SPEAKER_02: He doesn't stop, he yields, he slows down, looks to his right and goes, no calls, off.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: Off to sweep a chimney and save England.
10:31
SPEAKER_02: There he goes.
10:38
SPEAKER_02: You know those when it's like, no right on red.
10:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm always like, for whom?
10:41
SPEAKER_02: For whom is that?
10:42
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna, hey, are you a sign?
10:44
SPEAKER_02: I'm a man.
10:44
SPEAKER_02: See you later.
10:49
SPEAKER_02: My biggest issue is with speed limits.
10:51
SPEAKER_02: I have the biggest issue with them.
10:52
SPEAKER_02: A cop pulled me over and he was like, Do you know how fast you were going?
10:56
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Yeah, I do.
10:59
SPEAKER_02: That's the car's only job is to tell me how fast I'm going inside of it.
11:05
SPEAKER_02: It wouldn't be a car otherwise.
11:08
SPEAKER_02: And he goes, Do you know the speed limit?
11:09
SPEAKER_02: And I go, Never, I never have known.
11:13
SPEAKER_02: Because I don't care.
11:15
SPEAKER_02: They change every 50 feet.
11:18
SPEAKER_02: You want me looking up there or on the road?
11:19
SPEAKER_02: You gotta pick one guy.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: You gotta choose, you gotta choose.
11:23
SPEAKER_02: And he goes, How do you gauge your speed then?
11:25
SPEAKER_02: And I said, Well, officer, I get in my vehicle, I put the key in, I turn it on, and then I put my foot on the gas thing, and I just go until some shit gets in my way.
11:38
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, I gotta get around all this shit.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: And I do, and then I just keep going until I've reached my destination as fast as I possibly can.
11:47
SPEAKER_02: If there was no traffic, I'd go a thousand miles an hour everywhere.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: Because it's made up.
11:53
SPEAKER_02: It's all made up.
11:55
SPEAKER_02: Like school zones in California are 25 miles an hour.
11:59
SPEAKER_02: 25 miles an hour.
12:01
SPEAKER_02: Do you think you're not gonna kill a kid at 25 miles an hour?
12:04
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna split him in half.
12:07
SPEAKER_02: You see, little light up shoes go flying through the air.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: Transport backpacks and three-ring binders everywhere.
12:13
SPEAKER_02: 25?
12:14
SPEAKER_02: It's like what was that?
12:16
SPEAKER_02: Seven kids is what you just you're flying through here at 25.
12:24
SPEAKER_02: The speed limits, the speed limits on the freeway in California are like 60.
12:29
SPEAKER_02: 55 to 60.
12:31
SPEAKER_02: And I don't I don't get it.
12:32
SPEAKER_02: Why not 160?
12:34
SPEAKER_02: Why not?
12:35
SPEAKER_02: Do you think you're gonna die less at 60 than at 160?
12:39
SPEAKER_02: No, you're still gonna die, but you're gonna see it coming.
12:43
SPEAKER_02: At 60, you're like, but it was a semi-espin.
12:46
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god! You see your stupid life flash in front of your eyes, like, I wasn't worth it! But at 160, you don't see shit, and it's over like that.
12:59
SPEAKER_02: And you put on a show for everybody else on the road.
13:02
SPEAKER_02: Look at that! 15 flips.
13:05
SPEAKER_02: Put some glitter in your trunk.
13:07
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
13:08
SPEAKER_02: Whoa! Make the news.
13:10
SPEAKER_02: Don't make the news, make the news! I came to this conclusion when a couple years ago I got to go to Germany and I got to go on the Autobahn.
13:24
SPEAKER_02: Do you guys know what the Autobahn is?
13:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
13:26
SPEAKER_02: People are nodding already.
13:27
SPEAKER_02: So, for those that don't know, it's a freeway system where there's no speed limit.
13:30
SPEAKER_02: There's no speed limit.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: And I went um and I was test driving this brand new car uh as a gift from somebody, um, and uh one of the guys from the company was inside the car with me.
13:40
SPEAKER_02: And we're driving on the Autobahn, and he's a tiny little German guy, Klaus, and he's very quiet the whole time.
13:46
SPEAKER_02: And we're here we are, we're just driving on the Autobahn, and and finally he pipes up and he goes, Yeah, so if you want to drive the car, you can just drive the car.
13:56
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said.
13:59
SPEAKER_02: And he was like, if you uh want to drive the car, you could just um drive the car.
14:06
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Oh, cool.
14:07
SPEAKER_02: Are you calling me a pussy?
14:12
SPEAKER_02: Because I'm driving the car.
14:15
SPEAKER_02: And he was like, I just want you to just like experience a machine.
14:21
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Do you want me to just like do you just like uh he's like, just go.
14:29
SPEAKER_02: Just go.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, yeah, okay, okay.
14:32
SPEAKER_02: And then I ripped it into gear and we're flying, and I was like, this is awesome.
14:35
SPEAKER_02: This makes sense.
14:36
SPEAKER_02: These Germans, that's how they figure this out.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: They built that freeway system and they were sitting in a room, and they're all delegating, like, uh, how fast should the speed limit be?
14:44
SPEAKER_02: And they're like, we don't know, what should we do?
14:46
SPEAKER_02: We don't know.
14:46
SPEAKER_02: And then the big leader guy came in who's kind of a dick, but like he's kind of you know, he's forward about everything, and everyone's like, What should we do?
14:52
SPEAKER_02: And he's like, There'll be no speed limit.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: Wherever you want to go, just go.
15:01
SPEAKER_02: You want to go there, just go there.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: Where do you want to go there?
15:05
SPEAKER_02: Go there, you go there, you go, you go, you go, go, go, go, go, go, go, and kill the Jews! What?
15:17
SPEAKER_02: That's how that started.
15:20
SPEAKER_02: Uh-oh.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: History lesson for you guys.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: One of the best and the worst things I think you can ever do when you fall in love with someone is move in together.
15:35
SPEAKER_02: It's like a su it's a great moment, but it becomes the woman's hair palace.
15:43
SPEAKER_02: It's just their hair palace at some point.
15:46
SPEAKER_02: They literally move in and they're like, cool, is this the kitchen?
15:50
SPEAKER_02: You're like, yeah.
15:50
SPEAKER_02: And they're like, okay.
16:02
SPEAKER_02: Comedy has uh been so great to me.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: I get to travel the world and do this for a living.
16:08
SPEAKER_02: It's incredible.
16:10
SPEAKER_02: And I got to go uh to London, England, uh a couple of years ago, and my experience was uh not so not so good.
16:19
SPEAKER_02: Um that's how they talk there.
16:24
SPEAKER_02: Um I was in London, England with uh some friends, and um I wanted to go grocery shopping because I was staying there for a while, and I was like, uh let's go grocery shopping, and one of the guys was like, Let's do some drugs first, and I was like, okie dokie.
16:36
SPEAKER_02: And and we didn't do some, we just did the drugs.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: We did all the drugs.
16:40
SPEAKER_02: It was a bad idea.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: And I went to the grocery store, and uh while I was there, um you must know in England they do this uh they do this thing, they say, Are you alright?
16:51
SPEAKER_02: Okay, it's a phrase, but they swish it together.
16:52
SPEAKER_02: They go, You alright?
16:53
SPEAKER_02: And that just it's really quick.
16:55
SPEAKER_02: It's like you alright?
16:55
SPEAKER_02: And everyone goes, You alright, alright.
16:57
SPEAKER_02: And that's it.
16:59
SPEAKER_02: And they don't they don't actually care if you're alright.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: Like, it's like when we say what's up.
17:03
SPEAKER_02: Uh, because if you were like bleeding from the head profusely and they were like, you alright?
17:07
SPEAKER_02: And you're like, uh, I'm bleeding, and they're like, alright, and they'd walk away and not give a shit.
17:13
SPEAKER_02: But I was at the grocery store and the woman behind the thing was like, You alright, love?
17:16
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, fantastic, thank you very much.
17:18
SPEAKER_02: And she's like, Alright, then just you know.
17:22
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Oh, are we dancing?
17:24
SPEAKER_02: What are we doing?
17:26
SPEAKER_02: And the guy behind me's like, Alright, mate.
17:27
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Alright, I'm alright.
17:29
SPEAKER_02: Everybody knows I'm alright at this point.
17:33
SPEAKER_02: And there's a weird, stagnant air amongst us, and I was like, what is it?
17:38
SPEAKER_02: What is happening?
17:39
SPEAKER_02: And finally, this guy behind me smacks me on the shoulder and goes, Oi, ginger! Pack your groceries.
17:48
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I'm I'm sorry.
17:50
SPEAKER_02: And he goes, pack your groceries.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I don't, oh my god.
17:57
SPEAKER_02: I looked down and all my groceries had piled up.
18:00
SPEAKER_02: All of them had piled up.
18:01
SPEAKER_02: And I realized there's no bagger.
18:03
SPEAKER_02: I looked down the line, I looked up.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: There are no baggers to be had.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: You pack your own groceries in England.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: Did you know that?
18:10
SPEAKER_02: No, you didn't.
18:11
SPEAKER_02: Nobody knows that.
18:13
SPEAKER_02: You don't get off the plane and they're like, welcome to London, we've got shit, we have you packed your own groceries.
18:19
SPEAKER_02: No one said anything to me.
18:21
SPEAKER_02: So I was like, oh my god.
18:22
SPEAKER_02: And I ran down to the end and I'm throwing stuff in a bag, violently nervous, because they're all looking at me at this point.
18:29
SPEAKER_02: And I throw a soup can in there and it rips the bag.
18:32
SPEAKER_03: And he goes, Ginger does know he's gonna pack his own groceries! And the whole story erupts, like, Gincha does know he's gonna pack his own groceries.
18:42
SPEAKER_03: They all came out of the woodwork, like the ginger packs us own groceries.
18:47
SPEAKER_03: Winston Churchill was like, You pack your own groceries.
18:53
SPEAKER_03: It's like Barry Poppins photo by like, you pack your groceries.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: I was embarrassed, they were laughing at me.
19:00
SPEAKER_02: The whole store was having a laugh, pointing and laughing with their British faces, like and I didn't do anything to these people.
19:09
SPEAKER_02: Nothing.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: And I was throwing stuff in a bag and I kind of blacked out.
19:12
SPEAKER_02: I would just like went to another place.
19:14
SPEAKER_02: I was like, you guys are lucky that I don't have my American bald eagle horn with me.
19:21
SPEAKER_02: And I would just whip it out and go, and in comes a bald eagle, like, what's going on, man?
19:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, these guys are being so mean.
19:32
SPEAKER_02: He's like, I got this.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: Just ripping their British heads off, choking them out with American flags, in bus a tank, and on top of it's Bruce Springsteen.
19:42
SPEAKER_02: He's playing board in the USA with his penis.
19:45
SPEAKER_02: Gun, just lighting them up, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, this is the best.
19:51
SPEAKER_02: But none of that happened.
19:53
SPEAKER_02: I stood there like an idiot throwing stuff in a bag, dripping with sweat, nervous and embarrassed.
19:59
SPEAKER_02: And the guy goes, Ginger! Are you saying to us in the States, you don't pack your own f groceries?
20:08
SPEAKER_02: Huh?
20:09
SPEAKER_02: You don't pack your own groceries?
20:11
SPEAKER_02: And I go, No, we don't.
20:17
SPEAKER_02: We have old people and mentally handicapped kids that do that.
20:20
SPEAKER_02: You guys are Mandro Santino, I love you.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: Good night.