Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Matthew Worwood - Dynamics of Parenthood and Building Resilient Families

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Matthew Worwood - Dynamics of Parenthood and Building Resilient Families · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ryder And this is my Dad's Show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor joining the show, which is called LatitudeSitkacom, a Latitude 57.
• 0:20
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• 0:28
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• 0:38
  Speaker 2: So I'm going there in June.
• 0:40
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• 0:41
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• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If none of those sound interesting to you, well then go.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Stay on land and go ITVing, hiking, hot springs, yoga, take a massage in.
• 1:09
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• 1:18
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• 1:24
  Speaker 2: You won't regret it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: The majestic views will blow you away And, as I mentioned, i cannot wait to get there in June.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's welcome LatitudeSitka to the podcast and get right to today's episode.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jacobs with the quarterback downcast.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: We're in season four, and I continue.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Whenever I say that I'm getting excited, i get makes me happy because it means we're still going.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: You've heard me talk about that in the intro before, but I'm going to continue to do it, just because it keeps inspiring me as your host to keep bringing episodes weekly to all you dads.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: So our next guest I got introduced actually kind of a cool story through a kind of a third connection through the coach I hired Shout out to Pam Slim and I met this gentleman.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: His name is Matthew Warwood.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: He is the co-host of Feeling Creativity.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: He's a digital media design at the University of Yukon.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: He also started a really cool site, blog learning platform called Dads for Creativity.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: We're going to learn all about that.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: He's also a big Crystal Palace fan in the English Premier League.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: So you know, being a football not the football, but the different football we're going to learn all about that because I don't know who they play against, but we're going to ask him that in a second.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: But, more importantly, we're here to talk to Matthew about life as a dad and how he's working hard to become the ultimate quarterback, or striker, of his family.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, mr Warwood, welcome to the quarterback, dad cast.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: Welcome, Well, Casey.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: thank you so much for inviting me.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: I kind of shook it up with the striker.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: You did A flashback to my sixth grade days playing soccer.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you did, and it's an.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: I don't have a perfect response to that, but I did find myself reflecting on whether or not you know from a family perspective.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Is it the central midfielder, is it more of the defender?
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: you know, you know, making sure we're not conceding too many goals and letting my kids go forward and score all the goals and get all the glory.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: So I have to go and ponder that a little bit more.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: So who?
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: so Crystal Palace?
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: who are we playing?
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Is this like what?
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: what division of Premier League?
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: It's a good question And whenever I get a chance to kind of do some PR for my favorite UK soccer team, we are in the Premier League.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: So that means that we are playing the Manchester City, manchester United, and if any of your listeners haven't committed to an English Premier League soccer team, right now we are on Peacock every weekend.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: We are an established Premier League team.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: Now, we wasn't always, but what that means is we're not necessarily the favorites to be relegated every semester, but we're obviously not going to be winning the league And you know, not everyone's going to be hearing about us.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: But you know what if you don't know who you want to support?
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: the one thing I will say if you're into Ted Lasso, i can see the believe sign in the background.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: Ted Lasso has got a lot of scenes filmed at Crystal Palace Stadium And we are red and blue, which is obviously the team that Ted Lasso manages.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: So there is some relationship there between Ted Lasso and my soccer team, crystal Palace.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Wow, do you guys play against Wrexham?
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: So we could be drawn against Wrexham in the FA Cup, but they're not in our league.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: So the.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: FA Cup.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: the FA Cup is that tournament where literally even from semi-professional teams, you kind of get put into a hat and you can be drawn against everyone.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: There are some preliminary rounds but when you get to the third round the lower ranked teams who are still in the competition can get drawn against the big teams.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: So it is possible Wrexham had a great run in the in the FA Cup this year.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: If Wrexham was to make the third round, yes, we could play Wrexham.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: And for those of you scoring at home, you have no idea what we're talking about.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Wrexham is a fantastic show, i think, on Hulu, the of Ryan Reynolds and Ryan McElhaney, that they, these two American filmmakers, hollywood dudes, who are seen like great guys to have few soda pops with, they really bought, bought a soccer team or football club called Wrexham.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: And also, to note, matthew or Matt, i met a gentleman by the name of Yogi Roth who's going to be on a future guest on the show.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: He and another gentleman bought a American football club called like not football, but like football, american football called the Paris Musketeers.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: So I was like you guys are like the next version of Ryan Reynolds and McElhaney.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: So like, shout out to the Paris Musketeers, you'll be, you'll be hearing about them hopefully too.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: But what a cool, what a cool thing it, because primarily it's intense, i mean, and it is that the passion, those fans, it's.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: It's really cool to see from afar.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: It is And, and you know I mean I'm I'm kind of like resisting the temptation to try and sell the sport to to your listeners.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: But you know it has a history, It's, it's connected to your local towns And you know, you could, you could argue that we're in life or you haven't had a great week.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Every weekend you can come together collectively as a town and support your local team and cheer them on, you know, and that kind of passion as as kind of like you know, endured through the test of time.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: So I support Crystal Palace because I'm from Southeast London and they're a South London team And when I was growing up, yeah, i mean I was kind of into Liverpool.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: but there's kind of like this cultural aspect to soccer in the UK that you kind of feel pressurized to a support the team your father does and B to support your local team.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: So that's why I'm a Crystal Palace fan.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: It's not necessarily out of choice, you know, it's out of location.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, last question about them As someone from London when are you able to start calling it soccer without getting made fun of by your buddies?
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: I still get made fun of it is what it is.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: And the problem is I've been here for so long now that I do just call it soccer and actually can get thrown if someone cracks a joke and calls it football to me, because I'm like wait, is that a joke?
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Are you being serious?
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: So yeah, every time I go back now I use the word soccer and they're always calling me out.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: It'd be hard, though I mean I'm just messing with you, But like it's a and that's it'd be like me playing football.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: I mean Uncle Rico moment here, played football in college.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: If, like, if me playing football, all of a sudden they say you're going to call it, you know basketball, I'm like, but it's football, It's not basketball, It's a different.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: You know, but you have to get used to it.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: So weird.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: It is, and listen, there are.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: there are other other words out there.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: I mean actually the.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: The biggest word that I had the most problem was was was trash can or trash, you know?
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: I mean again, geographically it might be primarily the word we use in South East London, but I always just say bin, you know, bin, bin, you know.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: So put your, your, you know, banana skin in the bin.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: The bins over there, hey, bins are over here.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: Hey, everyone you know, if you've got any trash, your bins are over here.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: And I would use the word bin for at least 18 months, two years, while I was in here over in the US and no one knew what I was talking about And that was the biggest word.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: That took time for me to transition And now I just call it trash.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: But I think even with my, my kids, i was still occasionally using the bin and I'd get frustrated because they didn't know what I was talking about And I'd say, guys, you should know what a bin is right now You know, like you're half English, bin trash.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Well, we got educated.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: everybody put make sure you put stuff in the bin and do not make mom or dad mad because we're going to get in trouble.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, that was a long soccer conversation, completely the host's fault.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: But I got curious, which is a theme of this podcast.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: but we always start each episode with gratitude, matt.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: I think I'm grateful for the quality time I'm able to get with my boys and family And I think to to add on to that, probably grateful that I've had the ability to make subtle adjustments that provide me with those opportunities for that quality time.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: I think sometimes, like you know I was talking to, actually, a former teammate yesterday and shout out Ryan Sawyer and Heidi, sir, they have a podcast, they do coaching, they do group coaching, and he is.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: You know we were saying what.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Why does it take the microphone to have some fantastic conversations with guys or dads or whoever it is?
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we could be doing these things every day without hitting record or, and it's still after four years of doing this.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I still am perplexed to, like you know, challenging myself and others like let's slow down.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: And I think when you said that, that really made me think about just the word time, because I still.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: I was talking to someone yesterday that they have a newborn.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: I'm like my son's 17 now.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: I'm like what in the hell?
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: how did that happen?
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I'm, i can still remember putting him in a baby, baby Bjorn.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Walk around the neighborhood And you hear all these cliches is when you're a younger parent, but all of a sudden, boom, it happened.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: So, like I'm going to be grateful for the same thing, just the the the time you get, just make sure that you're being present, not me on my phone.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: I'm listening without looking him in the eye.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I'm distracted.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I'm working on follow up questions, just truly being present.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: So I'm grateful for like that Those people like you are reminding me of that.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: The work I get to do is a leadership and sales coach, and then obviously as a podcast or it's just.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for those moments because it's going by way too fast for me now.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I can relate to that.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: but I think there's something else that you referenced there that got me thinking.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, there's different types of quality time, but the idea of having a quality discussion where you're present in the moment, you're listening, reflecting, you know it's an opportunity for you to expand your knowledge of the topic that you're talking about but also have a better understanding of the person that you're conversing with.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: And my eldest quite often talks about how much he enjoys our journey to and from the extracurricular activities.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: I'm sure everyone can relate to the fact that most parents out there have a second job via the Uber driver of their kids, and my eldest regularly says you know, first thing he says when he gets in the car is okay, so what are we going to talk about?
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: And he just really enjoys engaging in conversations.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: We talk about everything.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: We talk about history, we talk about the pandemic, we talk about different responses to the pandemic.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: We talk about, you know, relationships with different people.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: Sometimes we talk about soccer parenting.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: We talk about a whole bunch of different things.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: There are times where actually I'm exhausted and I just because he wants to have these really high-end intellectual conversations.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: but the truth of the matter is that it is really good quality time and it's a quality discussion.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: And you're right, we should try and make more time for those quality discussions, whether with our family members or friends or people we don't know.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: we should be doing that.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Well, that is uncommon.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: What is your eldest son's age?
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: He is 12 years old.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, enjoy that, my man, usually it's.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: We're been talking about other shows with other dads about like having to really follow a framework, open any questions to get kids to speak, because it's usually the one word answer.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: So whatever you're doing, man, keep doing it.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Maybe you should, we should switch roles here and you take the role as a host and teach us, because that's cool to hear.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: And Kudos to you too for the times you would be tired.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: You sometimes you have a long day and last thing I do is just like, oh God, but like what a gift to give your son, just to encourage conversation, relationship building, curiosity.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I want to go inside the Warwood Huddle, tell me about the members of the team and ages and what's everybody up to.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: Well, i'm sure I'm not the first person to say that the quarterback really is my wife, who's massively devoted and holds up the fort.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: We're fortunate that, you know she spends a lot of the time at home and being available to support the family.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: It's something that she enjoys, but she certainly is a big part of the team.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: And you know, the most important player.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: And then my three boys, lucas 12, liam 9 and Theo 6.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: Three very different boys.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: I think that's something we can all relate to.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: You know how different those kids are, so it's not just all about us parents that are obviously influencing their personalities and interests.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: And you know, together we've you know, you know we make up that team.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: Love it?
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: Where did you guys meet?
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: My wife.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: so my wife came over on a trip to London and we met in a pub in London.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: She tells the story much more romantically than I do, But she was there for two weeks and we met on her first night and we hung out throughout pretty much most of those two weeks.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Very cool, very cool.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: And how do you get back to London often?
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: We do not not as much as we did, but usually.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, this is actually the longest stint we've gone, which is two years, so traditionally we would try and go over with the summer, so my boys have an opportunity to interact with the family over there.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: We get to watch a Crystal Palace match, for example, and then we're also fortunate that my wife has a family in Italy as well, so they also get to travel to Italy as well during the summer.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: Wow, Very cool.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: I've only been to Italy once.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Went to Venice, one of the coolest spots ever.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: It is cool, and I can't help but think about Indiana Jones every time I'm in Venice.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, so I want to go back in time and I'm going to learn about what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impact your parents had on you that shaped you as a father today.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: I think, you know that there's, you know, really huge question to take on.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: But I think, just thinking about the influence my parents had, very, you know, fortunate, you know, in that you know both my parents, i think, were always available to me.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: They took on different roles with that availability.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: You know, my father, for example, typically did a lot of the extra curricular activities which centered around things like soccer and swimming, and of course, that probably related to his interests and passions for me And, you know, similar to my wife, in many ways my mom was the quarterback holding up the family, being there when I needed emotional support.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: And I think, in terms of its influence on me, you know, a couple of the takeaways is that I think my parents were always very open, particularly my mom.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: I felt like I could always go to her for any problem and trust her guidance, trust that she would listen to my problem, you know, and make me feel okay about the situation, make me feel that there's hope Or that it's normal.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: It's something that we all face and we can get through it, even if we feel like it's hugely challenging.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: And I think actually my mom also contributed to, you know, my social emotional intelligence.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: You know I've always been highly sensitive to other people's needs.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: I work hard to try and understand other people's perspectives.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: I know some people around me absolutely hate it, because I'm always trying to identify what is the other perspective of the argument.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: So quite often you're in a situation where you can be accused of playing devil's advocate and therefore not listening, but I think that's had a big influence on my life and how I raise my children.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: And then the other thing to add to that is, you know, part of the decision for my mom to stay at home but still contribute financially to the family was my mom fostered as well.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: And so, you know, shout out to both her and my father.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: But my mom took more of the lead on that.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I think she ended up fostering almost over 50 children during her 50 kids.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: Wow, because she had short term and long term placement.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: But when she unfortunately passed away a few years ago I had them look back and they said it was over 50 children.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: That kind of came into the home, and so I think that also contributed to some of the sensitivity that I referenced and emotional learning as well.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Now, were these foster kids when you were in the house too.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: Yes, Yes, I mean when I met my wife and moved over, there was a couple of her last placement.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: She was still fostering, But for the most part my mom had fostered all my life and I had always been in the household.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's like like a real life, annie, like the TV show, a movie, yeah, yeah.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: And you know it's not just my mom.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: Obviously there's lots of foster carers out there And you know, as I said, there's those short term, medium term and long term placements.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: And you know you look back on it now And of course it does have an impact on the dynamics of your family environment.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: But at the same time, i think you probably get, i think I think there is a level of if you can, if you can accommodate somebody else in need into that family, then obviously you're helping out.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: And going back to what I said earlier about learning about different perspectives.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: You get to have a better understanding about other people's lives And, dare I say it, how difficult life can be for some people.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: Hmm, Where do you think?
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: um, I guess, tell me, tell me, where do you think your mom's interest or your dad's interest in saying, Hey, we're going to foster kids?
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: Like most, I would say that's not a normal thought for most families.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: You know, unfortunately I never really asked that question before they left, but just kind of reflecting on the conversations they had, i think it was probably out of two things.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: One, i think you know my mom wanted to be a stay at home mother.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: That was, that was her choice, that's what she wanted to do.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: But I think there was a need for her to contribute financially, perhaps because my father's income wasn't enough, you know, to maintain that, that, that lifestyle in London.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: So I think there was a financial aspect to it as well.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: Um, but I think the other piece of it you know I went when she passed, you know I went through all of her work and she actually, um, went to her first job at 18 was in a boarding school, um, and she joked around that I found this article and it says um, mother to 200.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: And you know, and so it's a little bit about her story at the age of 18, where she was kind of like, you know, taking on a motherly role to these 200 boys that were at a boarding school.
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: So I think she always had that nurturing instinct within her and a desire to help other people.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: And then I think maybe the final aspect and I don't know how much of this contributed to her, to their decision to foster, but there was me and my brother And I think there was maybe an interest in in, you know, having that girl in the family as well, because for the most part it was usually girls that she fostered.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: Wow, That's so cool.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Um, and you said our both mom and dad.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: have they since passed?
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, my dad first and my mom, as I said recently, in in 2020.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my last, my dad in 2021.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: He, um, so I can, i can, uh, sympathize with that.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: It's obviously a tough time.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: but on um, but it's, you know, season three.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: I dedicated every episode to him, which was kind of a fun way to memorialize him and just memories and and laughter and, um, my mom's still still with us.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: But, um, as you, as you think back to like themes that you know, themes of um, character traits that your parents like were like non-negotiables for you, that you that you learned, maybe through a story or two that might come to mind, um, tell me what comes to mind.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: I think integrity, you know, is a big one being true to yourself, um being upfront with others about you know why you're acting in a certain way, um why you responded in a certain way, why you think or feel in a certain way.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: Um, you know, going back to this idea of the discussion I said earlier on in the show, i think that can help build better relationships with people.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: Um, and then I also think um self-discovery, self-reflection, by by almost being a scholar of yourself.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: um, you know, you're able to think about how you relate to the world and why you perceive and interpret events in the way that you do.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: And again, i think that helps you be better at relating to other people, because you can identify with things that that you might have in common with others.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: but then you can also recognize where there's differences, and then those differences aren't always bad.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: In fact, in some ways they can really compliment each other really well.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: My wife and I, i think, have quite significant differences on some aspects of life, as well as similarities, but I think the differences is what makes us such a strong team when it, particularly when it comes to raising our three boys.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me what you mean by that.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Well, i mean, well, you know a good one, i think in some ways would be uh, uh, i don't want to pick a pick on a profession, but let's say my eldest comes in and says this is what he wants to be, this is his dream.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Um, you know, the way I was raised is yeah, you know you go, follow your dreams, follow your heart wherever your, your heart and desire takes you.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Um, whereas my wife would probably want to narrow that down a little bit, you know, talk about the pros and cons of that profession and particularly, you know, talk a little bit about the.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: You know, any concerns that she may have if there's not necessarily financial rewards or there's a lot of kind of like, you know, um, insecurity around that profession, for example, and you know, i think, what that brings.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: You know, i think I I look back in some of the decisions that I made when I was really young and I probably would have benefited from that voice because I didn't really think about finance, for example, when I was growing up.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: You know, i just assumed that you're going to go meet your dream and every everything that you've imagined, just because you want it so much and you believe it so much and you work it so much you're going to achieve it, but the reality is that that doesn't always happen.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: So it's not necessarily about having a fallback per se, It's just being strategic, i think, in in the choices that you make, particularly from a career perspective.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: So the fact that that my wife is is thinking a little bit more I don't want to say it's about reality, it's just thinking more strategic and recognizing that we live in a world, a society, at least right now, where financial stability is very important.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: It's important for for stable relationships, it's important for raising a family, Um.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: So having a mindset toward financial stability, for example, is part of something that I think my children benefit from, as well as getting me to say all right, go follow your dreams, but before you follow your dreams, you know, make sure you've got A, b and C in place as well.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's, you know it's funny.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: People can't see it at home, but there's a, there's a sign behind me that says believe and um, my wife is very detail oriented.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Um, we're, we're very opposite.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: She's like you know, i'm the dream big idea, bigger personality.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Um, you know, wherever I go I run into somebody and she's more she's social, but she's more like you know, she sees problems before they even happen and can balance any weird checkbook in the history of United States history.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: She could operationally keep things going.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: She could probably fix.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: She's way more handy than I am.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: Uh, uh, you know my buddy's giving me a hard time about that one.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Like inside my tool belt It's like crayons, scissors and glue, you know, and but I think to your point, that's what makes marriages work, teams work.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Um, i think when you were saying that you made me think about, you know, sharing with our kids like, Hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: I want to take a quick break and talk about my friends at Acme homes.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: You've heard me talk about them for a year now.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: You've heard me talk about the passion I have for my, my, my boy, my buddy, bob coming, and the fantastic work they do at Acme, building beautiful homes up and down the I five quarter corridor.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: They have CNN in Washington, uh, bonacci, They have Parkside in a freighter, sunfield and Boise.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: Many people are moving there right now.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: They will buy land and if you have larger parcels they want developed, they will look to build on them.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: So if you want to check out some amazing craftsmanship, some amazing homes in Eastern Washington up and down the I five corridor into Boise, please go to Acme homes What now?
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: and check them out and you won't regret it.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: The reviews are off the charts.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: The homes are built with pristine precision.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: Now let's get right back to today's episode.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: You know, celebrate what we're good at, celebrate our strengths are weak, and but also be okay to talk about our weaknesses and teach your kids to know that you're not going to be perfect everything.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: You're going to have gaps, but if there's something that someone's better than you, however, you want to measure that, that's okay.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Either do something about it If it really bugs you or you want to get better, or just celebrate that.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: Hey, maybe you can go to that friend or that person or your sister for help when they need it.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: And so I think when you I'm looking at my notes here when you said self discovery and reflection, sometimes like you're teaching our kids to reflect about Hey, what are, what are the things I bring to the role, what are some things that I'm really good at, and if things, this is an area where I want to get better.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, let's explore that and talk about it and think why.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: But I get lasting at say is that?
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: but I love the fact of like dreaming big.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: I wish if I could go back to like my 20 year old self, i would have just always focus on the word believe.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: The word believe, because it's such a just like I think the word curious is a powerful that we don't talk about enough.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I think the word believe is you don't believe in yourself, you don't believe in what you do matters.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: You're already kind of behind the A-ball, i think, and so like just starting that such a powerful thing me as parents, can teach Our kids about the word belief.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: And also just to kind of expand on that, when we're thinking about this idea of believing in yourselves, you know, not necessarily associating that belief as having to be Fulfilled by achieving a particular goal.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: It's just having faith That you have the capacity to get through whatever life throws at you and you can be successful, no matter the constraints, no matter the resources that you have available to you.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: And that comes back to believing in your capabilities as a human being and You know, god willing, a future partner to someone that you have the means to work Collectively through those, those challenges.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: So I think sometimes I think we can get associated with the word believe.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: I believe that I'm gonna be, you know, a successful soccer star and Therefore I'm gonna train every day and work really hard and because I believe it so hard, that's gonna be the only factor that contributes to my success.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: The reality is that you know you may not actually become a soccer star and there might be Reasons for that.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: They're outside your control.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: But you can have faith and believe that you can respond When you're told you're not gonna be a soccer star, adapt and change and make connections.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Perhaps you still are working within the soccer field and meeting, fulfilling all of the passions and dreams that you once had, even if it's not specifically playing soccer right?
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: I think, as you were saying, that we keep going deeper on this one.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: It's like it's it's believing in the process, not not being so tied to an outcome, believing that you know the skills that we can create hard work, resiliency, grit you talked about integrity, being up front and others, which is powerful thing To learn and teach.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: on expectation management, people always know kind of what to expect for how you're gonna show up, we'd be on time, what, what, what's what's an area like, well, as you think back to like maybe one more childhood reflection, is there a, a moment or like a flashpoint that like maybe a mistake you made as a kid or a Adversity went through as a kid that you really have reflected on as a parent, that you use that moment or experience to teach your kids?
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: You know I There was a couple of things that you said, you know, in your response to this idea around belief and the relationship between, or the partnership between, my wife and I, and we was talking about our differences, and One of the things that we have in common is I think we've realized that, you know, we are somewhat kind of, we have a low tolerance for risk-taking.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: You know, as far as saying perhaps we're risk averse, and I think, in some ways, from a kind of like financial perspective or a success perspective, maybe there's some suggestion here and there that we're you know Where perhaps we should have taken a bit more of a risk risk before, perhaps before the family and children came along.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: We didn't do that and the reason why I'm bringing this up is, i thought, a lot about risk.
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: You know some of the career decisions that I've made.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: Yes, i think I enjoy a lot of flexibility in my career and I've looked for Jobs to where I've got that flexibility to pursue lots of interests.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: But the other thing that I always have prioritized is stability As much as we can have it, for example, and job security, and the reason why I'm connecting it to the question that you just asked me is that I Kind of really had to reflect, you know, even some opportunities that come up over the last 12 to 24 months, you know, and and I suddenly get this panic of oh my god, like I might do this, and it kind of feels really risky, and what happens if this happens, what happens if that happens?
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: and I think I was really impacted where my, when my father was made redundant, when he lost his job.
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: I can remember Walking into the bedroom and my dad was at home.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: You know it was like 12 o'clock and he's not usually at home.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: At that time It was during the summer days.
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: I remember it being hot and I remember my mom was was kind of hugging him and you know I didn't see his face But his back was turned to me and he was obviously, you know She was rubbing his back and I've got a really kind of vivid memory of that.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: And I was young, you know, and And I don't think I knew in that moment that my dad had lost his job, but I soon realized that he had.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: And over the coming weeks, you know there was there was a change in in our lifestyle.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: You know, there was a change in the cars that we drove and you know, you know I could see.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Looking back on it now I can recognize that that moment had a real, significant impact on my father, my father's confidence.
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: He probably didn't have some of the skills that we were just talking about in terms of faith and belief in belief in himself.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: You know, and I think I generally fear for that outcome I have that, you know that.
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: That theory of job security now, and so I think that particular event has, you know, made me the type of person I am when it comes to making, being very strategic in the decisions that I make and looking for opportunities, but making sure those opportunities, to a certain extent, come with minimum, minimum risk, and it's something that I know my wife has as well.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: So, we talk a lot about it now It's part of who we are, but it's also something that I know.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to make sure that my kids Have somewhat of a balance on.
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: You know, i I'm a little bit, i don't know.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: I believe in strategic risk-taking and, as, again for the reasons that I've said, i think I'm biased that there might be people on here talking about entrepreneurship and now you just go for it, you just go for it, you just go for it.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Well, i think there's, there's some research out there that strategic optimism, strategic risk-taking is no more less than then, kind of like, you know, just quitting your job and going and pursuing something, some new venture, that the potentially risk is this risks your home and you know where your family is living.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: And I'm trying to get let my kids know that there's a balance.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: You know that that Try and reflect and gather all of the information you can possibly gather and make a decision.
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: Once you, once you've made a decision, you own that, that decision.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: But I so I'm trying to make sure that that they maybe take a little more risks Then perhaps me, my wife have made, but they also Don't take too much risks With with their lives as well.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, so I gotta, I gotta, go deep on that.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: So Tell me, what did your dad do for his job?
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: My dad was in the timber trade, which obviously was very different, you know, dependent on, you know, the Real estate and and building market, and in the early 1980s the UK suffered quite a significant Recession and the timber trade, a number of building trades, were hit really hardly hard.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: So it wasn't just that he lost his job.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: It took a long time for that industry to recover and for Any type of opportunity to emerge that would that he had the skills to fulfill.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: So, and you remember your age.
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: I think I was about nine or ten.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: So, as I mean I was, you did a such a good job mad of describing that I could see your mom.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: You know I never met your parents, but I could see your mom rubbing his back and like There's.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: There's been a couple episodes in this journey I've had as a podcast for this host the show and a Story came to mind when there was a dad who, his his dad, lost almost everything and he was in a business with a business partner who What call I think drugs or bad.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: He was into bad stuff and Lily's took him for everything.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: And the dad was Lily on the floor Crying like oh my god, i just frickin lost everything.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: What the Sam's hell.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: It has happened.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: And His, his mom was rubbing his back and she said I'm betting on you Like, i believe in you and I'm like God man.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: Why is it?
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: you're listening I think some I get goosebumps talking about that.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: If you sometimes I think as men, sometimes that power of just a spouse saying we're going to get through this, i believe in you.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this sucks, but I married you for a reason and we're going to figure this thing out.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: And I don't know if that's what your mom said, if they went through it.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: But like that's when you said, that story made me, brought me right back to this other story of a dad I interviewed.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: I love that connection.
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: You know, and actually what you're reminding me is that I believe my mom at the time was only we was only fostering one child And so around that time I think that was one of the things that led to my mom taking on additional placements to to, you know, obviously fulfill that shortfall in the expenses.
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: And I think, you know what you're reminding us is as a family unit and obviously we're talking primarily of this traditional family dynamic.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: You know, it really is a partnership.
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: You know what's what's interesting I've been reflecting on particularly, you know, as in society we're thinking about gender roles, for example.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: I have felt pressure, you know, to to provide that And again, it could be all the way back to my childhood and this type of incident, but there is that pressure to be the breadwinger to, to bring the income, at least the.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: I felt, and perhaps I felt even before, you know, marrying my wife.
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: I specifically remember, you know, some dreams and aspirations that I had, recognizing that they wasn't, there was too much insecurity with them.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: You know, when I came to the US, for example, i recognized the importance of health benefits and the type of impact that can have on your family.
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: That's, that's not some.
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: That's one thing that perhaps in the UK we're fortunate that when we don't necessarily have that type of pressure but you've got this type of like security that you need to go and establish for your family is something that I know I felt a lot of pressure on And I think having a supportive partner where is this is?
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: this is we're a team in this, you know, and this is about us getting through these difficult challenges together to your point.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, it's critical because you know we're like any other human.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: You know we can.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: We can get overwhelmed and emotional and lose confidence and lose faith in ourselves, and we sometimes need other people to believe in us when we're struggling to believe in ourselves.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Which requires us to check our ego, which requires us to be vulnerable, which is required us to have humility, which requires us to be curious, to ask for help.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: So, like I am, at the ripe old age of 47.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: Matty, anybody called you Matty?
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: Yes, my dad called me Matty.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, i just threw that on there for the shits and giggles.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: Um, i am so crystal clear on the power and impact of humility, vulnerability and curiosity.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: I mean those are three like super important words in my life The relationships around me, my life, my friends, my family, the work I do as a coach, because they're such gifts, there's such gifts that if we just slow down to realize I don't have to have all the answers, slow down to be, hey, let's, let's don't have, we don't have to go tell people how good we are, if we're great, they're going to tell us and be curious, learn more about people's perspectives, learn about where they're from, learn about why they do what they do, and and then teach our kids the power of these words, so that we can help make society a place of belonging, of encouragement, of teamwork, of um, yeah, i don't mean, you made me think of that when you're telling the story about.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: You know, you said team Um.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: I just think it's really really powerful stuff.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: We can teach your kids when we slow down to think about it.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and there was something you said in there, um, you know, i think, in terms of kind of having an impact on society, in bettering society, and you know I think we can, we can do this as a family or we can do it individually.
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: But the idea of supporting your community as well, you know, um, i, i, i came from a major city and you know, quite often people say, well, what was it like moving out of the UK to the US?
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: And really the difference is you're moving out of a major city and you're you're moving into a small, um suburban community.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: And one of the things that I kind of have began to um value more within the US is this kind of like the idea of, of how these communities support themselves, um, and the, to a certain extent, the autonomy that exists, at least in Connecticut, for some of the small towns.
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: But what that does do is it provides or encourages the fact that we as individuals need to come out and become, you know, leaders within our community.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: So when you're talking about looking at doing things such as getting curious right, let's say, i'm going to get curious about a problem think about it from a local perspective.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: How is that problem impacting your local community And what can you or your family do to try and support addressing that problem?
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: And that is the way I think we can work toward having an impact in our society is thinking about having an impact in our local community.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: Hi, i'm Marcie Stout, ceo and co-founder of Revol Coach, a consulting and coaching company dedicated to cultivating leadership, building cohesive teams and fostering wellbeing in the workplace.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: At Revol Coach, collaboration is one of our core principles, which is why I'm excited that Casey Jay Cox and I are partnering together to host a monthly mastermind called the intentional sales leader mastermind, where leaders can share ideas, exchange insights and gain valuable knowledge from industry experts.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: It's our promise to you that joining our mastermind will provide practical insights on how to use curiosity and humility to build relationships while exceeding revenue expectations.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: We'll also teach techniques so you can stay committed to priorities like family health and, quite frankly, things that bring daily joy.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: You can learn more about me and my work at RevolCoachcom And, if you want to work with us and other sales leaders who are committed to results both personally and professionally, visit CaseyJCoxcom for more information on the intentional sales leader mastermind.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: That's good, And there's multiple ways you can do that.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: It's like you know to what your mom did and the fostering you could volunteer at your local.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: you know, whether it's Boy Scouts, girl Scouts, basketball, sports, soccer, whatever it may be, maybe the library.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: there's so many things we can do to get involved, which I think again another good life lesson for our kids on it's more than just us, there's more than you out there.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: And how can you?
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: you know, support the team, your community, whatever it might be.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: So I think that was a really good point.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: From an area of improvement, matt, as you think about like the area of your dad game, where maybe an area of your game where you know it's maybe it's not quite where you want it to be, but you're working hard to just to be a better father.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: You know my gap will go first as continues, as I'm a competitive person.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: So the opposite of competitive is sometimes patience, and my dad was super impatient, got restless.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: Peace pop.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: Sorry I got you out there, bro, but like I work hard on being patient And I find myself kind of getting wrapped around the axel, i'm like I take a deep breath.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: I'm like, why am I?
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: is it that even a big deal?
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: And usually it's not So for me I'm always working on patience.
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: But for you, tell me what comes to mind as an area of your dad game where you're working hard to improve the other dads might go to really at home.
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: You know it's actually I almost was going to follow through, because we kind of paint you a good picture of going and being a leader in your community.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: But I was kind of like thinking about bringing up the elephant in the room which some parents are going to turn around and say, yeah, that's a great story, but I don't have time for that.
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: Right, and the reason why we don't have time for that is, i think we're very much devoted on bettering ourselves.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: You know, we're fixating on our career.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: I've got to go and get.
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: I'm defining my success, i'm defining my being on how much money I've got, the car that I'm driving, the house that I have And I'm not saying everyone does that, but I think there is, you know, there's undertones of that within a lot of the Western world, but I think it's particularly evident in the US.
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: You know, like, whether it's fame, whether it's fortune, there's a desire to be something more than what I currently am, and we can kind of, like you know, get, get pulled into that gravy train and start kind of like just plowing forward.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: Now, the issue with that is that there's, there's always going to be something you can do at five PM at night.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: There's always going to be something you can do at seven PM at night.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: There's always going to be an email that you can respond to, but what that means is is that you're probably that's taken priority over something else, which is what I said to at the very beginning is finding quality time for you, for your, your boys and family, And so one of the things I did and it was, it was difficult, it was painful, but was to recognise that.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: You know, okay, at 6 pm Do I have to answer that email?
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: Okay, i haven't hear everything on my task list today And the day's coming to an end, but you know what that's.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: Okay, ask, it's a new day tomorrow and I'll pick up where I left off today And I started.
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: You know You've done a lot.
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: If the few of your guests have spoken about the idea of kind of being present and living for the moment And it's hard, but part of living for the moment is a recognition that, okay, you know I want to go and let's, for example, write this book.
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: Right, i've got two, three books that I want to write.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: You know, i've got another documentary film that I want to make, but I'm stopped.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: At the age where I am, i've stopped kind of setting, you know, deadlines for my goals and I've recognized if life allows me to get to them, i'll get to them, but my children would take priority.
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: So at 7 pm I might have a desire to go and start working on a script for my documentary film that I want to get to and make.
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: But I know if I go and pick up that computer at 7 pm My mom, my wife, will be the one that's putting my kids away And I get robbed of the opportunity to read to my son.
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: And so I started to make these subtle adjustments about six and nine months ago, partly to do with the fact of what you also said is the fact it goes really quickly.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I've only got, you know, my youngest right who's six I.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: I still claim I've got a little one, but I know that I've only got a little one for a little bit longer now, you know.
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: And so those moments of being able to lie on that bed just before bedtime and Go and read your favorite nursery rhymes from when you were a kid, you know, i went and bought Jack and the Beanstalk because I realized I'd never read Jack and the Beanstalk to him and I love Jack and the Beanstalk and I hadn't read Jack and the Beanstalk to my middle son and elder son.
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: So I said this is my last chance to learn to go and read my favorite fairy tale to my youngest now my, my middle son.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: No, this son had other fairy tales that they fell in love with.
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: But I said I'm gonna go and share my favorite fairy tale.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: You know Jack and the Beanstalk and they all love three Billy Goats, gruff, which is another one of my favorites.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: But the point is when you ask me what am I doing, it's, it's really what I've been working on and what I've done over the last 12, 15 months of my life.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: Is that basically saying, hey, i've got to go and make opportunities for this quality time?
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: and That quality time is something as simple as saying, no, i'm not gonna go and focus on me, my career, my goals.
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: I'm not gonna go and get pulled into saying, well, you have to work really hard to be successful.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: That's your contribution.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: No, sometimes my contribution is going and finding the time to put my kids to bed and read to them, to shower them.
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: You know I have some amazing conversations with my kids when I'm showering them, as I just said with my someone We're driving to an extra curricular activity.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: So all I understand that we all have different situations, but I Think we just got to keep working on making sure that we are Taking the time to prioritize what we're really gonna care most about when we're on our way to exiting this world.
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: Realistically, it's gonna be that quality time.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: You'll never regret doing that, ever.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you'll be remembered.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: You know I've made that choice, even like the the first year of my entrepreneurial journey, where I didn't know really what I was doing, i just was like kind of surrendering the fact that something's gonna happen.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: I remember one day my wife and son were out doing something and my daughter was This is like right in the heart of the pandemic.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: We were actually in Eastern Washington and she was like Hey, dad, can we go for a bike ride?
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: And I was like I had a like a couple of calls that was on, but they weren't.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: They were just networking, they weren't.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: I wasn't making revenue for my family or me.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: And I first oh honey, i have a call.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: And I said Hold on.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: No, yeah, we're gonna do that.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: We're gonna hold on.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: Go put your suit on, we're gonna.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: I Counsel both calls.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, guys, last short notice is super unprofessional, but my daughter wanted to go for a bike ride.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen her all day.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Can we reconnect tomorrow?
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: I think the people I said that to they actually were like dude, yes, thank you.
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: I still remember that bike ride.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: We literally went on like about a two mile bike ride, jumped in the river It was like 90 something degrees Had fun, came back and it was like an hour long activity that I'll always remember, you know.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: So that's really good, really good reminder for all of us, matt, to just Focus on quality time, create that quality time.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: If you don't know what that means, reach out to ask a friend, like use the internet, look for creative ideas.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: Or maybe ask your son or daughter, like what, what do they want to do?
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: What would be a fun activity for they want to do?
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: not what you think they want to do, but get curious and ask them.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: Okay, i want to learn now about Well, actually, before we go, that if you to summarize everything we've talked about today, that Dads could take maybe some actionable takeaways, maybe two or three like key words or frames that they can use from our conversation today to become that ultimate, you know, quarterback or leader of their household.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: Matt, tell me what a couple words come to mind.
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: Well, the first one is to consider Crystal Palace as your English soccer team, love it.
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: And and then, i think, obviously, what we just spoke about in terms of quality time Reflect on on you know, your value systems and make sure that those value systems align with prioritizing that quality time.
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: And then I would add that remember that quality time, you know, as you've referenced on previous podcast, is quite often just being present in the moment and Feeling that that connection with your, your, your kids, your family, and that connection can be made through lots of different things.
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: You've used the word curiosity a lot.
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: You know I'm in the field of creativity, securities got a very specific meaning and and what I would say is like I think we, you know, find Things that you've always wanted to do But you haven't done, and try and involve your kids with them.
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: You know, i I listened to the intro of the podcast and I hear your kids case at the beginning, right.
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: So that's a relationship of you know, a new venture that you've begun and you've brought your kids involved.
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: But I think about the fact that you know, i have never really camped up to a few years ago.
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: Now we're camping and we're learning to camp as a family.
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: I've just started to learn to fish.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: We're learning to fish as a family, and, of course, the other thing that we do is we go and try, and we all love going to museums, for example.
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: So there are experiences that you can have That are new to you, and you can experience them for the first time, while also exposing your kids to them as well, and so you can actually go on a learning experience together.
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: So good, love it.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: I want to learn.
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: I want to make sure people know about you.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: How do, how can people connect with you?
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: How do people learn more about the work you do?
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, how can I follow your blog?
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: Tell us a little bit about that.
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: In terms of connection.
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: Like anyone, i'm on, i'm on LinkedIn.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: That's probably the best way to connect with me.
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: I think very relevant to this is, yeah, dad's for creativitycom, where I, you know, try and think about how I've You know from what I understand about from the field of creativity, and how we can promote and develop, create creative thinking skills.
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: I've tried to incorporate that in the home environment.
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: You know, the example of what I just said around, like finding new experiences, is one of those tips, so that that will be somewhere to go to.
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: And then, if there's any educators listening, the fueling creativity and education podcast would Would be another place that you know I'd welcome your listeners to check out.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: Perfect.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: I will make sure that's linked in the show notes.
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: We'll make sure we also link dad's for creativitycom, and I've checked it out.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: It's a really cool site.
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: Check out Matt's blog.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: It's now time, as we wrap up, to go into the lightning round, where I go completely random, show you the effects of taking too many illegal hits and football.
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: Not bong hits, but hits and football.
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: My, my job is to ask them quickly, your job is to answer them quickly, and then my goal is to get a gig out of you.
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: Are you ready?
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: I'm ready.
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: I'm laughing because I think you're gonna get a gig out of me, but but you know, let's go for it.
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that the kid is both have that in me.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, both those laughs don't count, okay.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: Wrexham versus Crystal Palace true or false?
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: Wrexham wins 8-0, false.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, if you were to score a goal in a World Cup, tell me the team you'd be playing for.
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: Oh, england and it's the World Cup final.
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: Okay and true or false, It was a bicycle kick from midfield false.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: How cool would that be, that actually happened.
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that'd be really cool, But that's that's.
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: That's that strategic thinker in me.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: You know so logically that can't happen.
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: No.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: There's a challenge to all the footballers out there.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: I want to see a bicycle kick from half, from midfield.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: Tell me the last song listen to in your phone.
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: I Need a hero.
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: Oh Solid is that from Footloose.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, i think I think it was it was.
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: It came on when I was at the gym this morning, outstanding I that's straight.
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: I think it's a ren in the in the tractor.
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: Last movie you watched.
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: We just watched Cinderella Man with my middle son.
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: Another great thing to do with your kids is watch movies.
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, last book you read Outliers, malcolm Gladwell, solid, yeah Yeah, solid book.
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: If I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, tell me what we'd have.
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: Homemade pizza.
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: I'm very fortunate to be married into an Italian family.
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: Homemade dough, homemade sauce, homemade pizza.
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: Can't wait to have it tonight.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: That sounds fantastic and we would make sure, when we're done, matt, we put our stuff in the bin.
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: We would absolutely, and my wife will make sure that happens.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title what I did wrong.
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, now this Book is getting get turned into a movie that they're gonna.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: People overseas are talking about it.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: It's all around the world.
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: Netflix has picked it up, but you can't be the main actor.
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: I need to know who's gonna star you, what Hollywood actor or what other actor out there is gonna star Matt Warwood, and it's critically a famed, critically acclaimed hit movie.
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: Am I allowed to say, my oldest son.
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: He's really into acting right now.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: My son there we go.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: I think that's the first.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: We never had a son be a coming actor, but hey, maybe you're, maybe you're calling your shot, it's gonna happen in the future.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, and then last question Tell me two words that describe your wife Devoted, solid, boom, love it.
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: I Saw a teeny giggle, but maybe we'll call it tie.
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: This has been a fantastic connecting with you.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: I'm so grateful for Captain, connect those.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Pam slim.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: This doesn't happen with F out my coach, pam.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: So I'm the brothers and to roll together We'll make sure all your links are connected here and are made connected in the in the show notes.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: I want to say thanks to acting homes, thanks to latitude sicko, for you guys's continued support, though They're both, their businesses will be linked.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: Amazing companies, amazing people doing great things.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: I'm actually gonna be in sick, alaska here For the first time here in a few weeks or recording in May.
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: This episode will come out in a few months.
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: But, matt, thank you again so much for spending some time me today.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: It's been an honor learning more about you and I learned a ton and I'm just grateful for for you and what you're doing for For dads out there.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: So thanks again for making time to join me.
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: Thanks so much, casey, and thank you for the podcast you put on.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: Thanks,