Latest / Celeste The Therapist / #494 Building Your Mental Health Toolkit: Essential Strategies for Well-Being

Transcript

#494 Building Your Mental Health Toolkit: Essential Strategies for Well-Being · Celeste The Therapist

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All right, y'all. So today we are talking about building
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a mental health toolkit. If you don't know what
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that is, you're going to learn today. This is something that's so important for
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everyone to understand. One thing about me is I
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feel like I have a plethora of things that I can go to when I'm struggling.
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And I don't just go to those things when I'm struggling. I also work
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on those things on a regular basis. I look at it as like my medicine for
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living life. So I always give this example. I'll say like, if
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you were struggling with diabetes and you had
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to take insulin, like you're going to take it every day because if you don't take it,
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you know, your blood sugars is going to be off and it's hard to survive
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without your insulin. I think about most of us are
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living in survival mode, and we're trying to move into more
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of a living space where we're allowing peace, where we're
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allowing joy into our lives. But it's hard to do that if
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you don't have the tools to deal with life, especially because
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life happens, right? You could be minding your business and
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so much is going on, and then what do I do? And so many
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of us have either frozen or we've learned
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how to self-medicate in ways that doesn't
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help us and it keeps us stuck. And so my goal is to help you kind
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of learn these things that you can do. And so when
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you think of a mental health toolkit, I want you to think of
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it as something that is
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there kind of like a first aid. I just thought about that. A first aid
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kit, right? Where it has the Band-Aids, the gauze, all these different things,
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right? that's there, I want you to have that.
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But also looking at it as like, this is something I'm going to go to
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on a regular basis. So we're going to go through the different
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things that I want you to think about having in your toolkit. And I want you
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to think about ways that you can work on implementing
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this like now, today, right? Because my goal is to help shift the way you
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think. Use what you can, start where you can. That
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is so important. So self-care practices are
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so important, like things like exercise, what
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you're eating, right? So these are certain things that
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needs to be in your toolkit, like what am I doing with my physical
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body? How am I sleeping, right? What am I
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eating? And am I moving my body? So
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when you think about those kind of physical aspects of your
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day-to-day, make sure that's in your toolkit on
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things that you can do. When I work with people and I talk about moving their body, And
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one thing that they realize is like, they don't always feel
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like doing it, but when they do it, they feel good. And so
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one of the things I tell them is that, put it in your schedule. And
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those moments, because I have those moments too, where you don't feel
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like doing it, I want you to think about what's going to happen when you get it done.
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I think about snoozing the alarm. And
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I've been guilty of snoozing the alarm, but
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I also, more likely than not, I get up
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and not snooze because I recognize if I snooze this alarm, if
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I don't start first thing in the morning because I have such a packed day, what's
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going to happen is I'm going to run out of time. I'm going to be working late. I'm going to
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be anxious or overwhelmed. And I don't like the way
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anxiety feels. I recognize it. I see how it shows up in my body.
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So for me, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure
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that I'm giving myself what we need. So
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when you think about that toolkit, ask yourself what
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kind of self-care practices are in there and
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any hobbies. What am I doing for myself to maintain?
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The next thing I want you to think about is mindfulness and relaxation techniques.
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This is another important thing that should be in your toolkit. One
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thing that we all have access to is breathing. And
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one of the things that I recognize I've gotten so in tune with
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is my breath. And I can recognize if I'm feeling like I'm running out
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of breath or You see how I just did that? If I'm feeling anxious,
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I realize I'm not breathing regular. And
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when people come on the screen, when I start working with
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people for the day, and they'll come in with that energy, and
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I'll say, hold on, let's just take a break. Because I'm so mindful and I'm in tune
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to it, I can recognize when it's not happening for people. And
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I'll just say, you know what? Let's just take a deep breath. And I take
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a deep breath. And they're like, OK. That's
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something that we have access to that we're not utilizing. So
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really thinking about, am I utilizing
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my breath, especially when you're struggling? What can I do
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to help myself in those moments? One of the things you
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can do if you're watching this, I have my hand up. Put your hand over your heart. I'm
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just taking a deep breath, something. Even just now, I just did it intentionally,
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and it felt so good. It just allows my body to
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calm down. Sometimes we're so used to being in high alert
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that we're just going, going, going. And this is
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something I would recommend you try to work on doing. On
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YouTube, there are these, you can type in a breathing
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circle, and you could type in two-minute breathing circle. Literally,
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the circle will breathe in, and then it goes
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and expands, breathe out, right? And you could just follow that,
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right? And I don't want, you know, because some people may be like, oh, it's
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breathing. No, it's not. It's like we're breathing because we need to breathe
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to be here. But are we breathing intentionally? Is
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our breathing labored? So many times we
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are so used to living on high alert that we don't even recognize what's
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happening. We don't recognize that our shoulders are up all the time. Another
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thing you can do on YouTube, they have these five-minute body scans
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where it literally will go through your entire body and says, all right,
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take a seat. And it'll say, pay attention to
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where your jaw is. Is your jaw clenched tight?
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And you'll be surprised that your jaws clench tight. Even now, as
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you're listening to this, pay attention. Are your hands folded
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up? Is your shoulders high up? These are like small
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things, and I don't want to, when I say small, these are little steps we
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can take, but they're significant, right? I want you to, when I say
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small steps, every step matters that we're taking to
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get to where we need to be, right? And so if you can
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work on creating some mindfulness practices,
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even like a shower meditation, Taking time
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in the shower to take a deep breath, smell the soap, feel the
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water on you, right? Pay attention to what
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you have going on for the day. What are you smelling? What are
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you seeing? Use your five senses and get engaged. I
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love the idea of a shower meditation because that's something
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that you're doing on a regular basis. So I'm not asking you to create more
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time because I know for some people, they don't have a
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lot of flexibility in their schedule. And I don't want you to look
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at these things that I'm asking you to do as one more thing you
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have to add to your plate. I want to think about ways you can implement
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it to things that you're already doing. So in your toolkit, one,
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we said self-care practices. And then we said our
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mindfulness. What are we doing for relaxation? Are
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we making time to just sit down and breathe? Are we
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making time, as we're sitting down, just maybe have a cup of
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tea? hot chocolate, listen to something
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that is very relaxing. I can't tell you what it
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is. And remember, everybody's toolkit is going to look different.
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There are certain people I like listening to that might bother you. You
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might not like the way their voice sounds. So as you're
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thinking about this toolkit, think about what's going to work for
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me, because we're all different. And the things that work for one person
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may not work for another. The next thing I want you to think about in
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the toolkit are your coping strategies. What do you use when
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you're coping? And so this is
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like journaling. Do I listen to music? Do
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I get to talk to a friend? Because sometimes
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some of the coping mechanisms we're using are not healthy.
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into engaging in relationships that, like, maybe in the moment it's
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comforting, but we recognize, like, the after effect won't
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be the best for us. Especially in the wintertime, you really got
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to be mindful on how easy it is to get caught up in some crappy
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relationships that may be causing you more harm than good.
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Am I, like addiction, like marijuana and
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alcohol are legal. Well, marijuana in certain states are
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more legal than other states, but it's not
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about the marijuana or alcohol, but the way you're utilizing it,
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right? When I'm having a bad day, am I always going to the liquor
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store and getting a bottle? Am I always lighting
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up? When I light up, it relaxes me,
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but I find myself feeling stuck. For some people,
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it gives them what they need and then they're good. Pay
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attention to the coping mechanisms that you've been using now. I
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want you to think about when you're stressed, what do
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I do when I'm stressed right now? If it's
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working for you and it's not causing you any harm, I love
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that for you. If it's maybe working
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for you in the moment and it's causing harm after, I really want you to
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think about interrupting that cycle. And for some people going
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cold turkey is very hard, but I want you to think about instead
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of, let's just say like my go-to is wine. I have wine.
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Cause some people don't look at wine as a big deal because it's like, it's wine. It's
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not like they'll say like, it's not like a hard liquor.
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But as you're thinking about, let's say I'm getting wine every day
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after work. And I used to do that at one point when I
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worked in a high pressure place where I'm hearing all these stories. And
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this is before I understood how energy impacts
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me. I didn't understand the heaviness that
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was happening and I was feeling was from all of the things I was listening
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to. And so I would have wine, but because I
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worked in addictions and I'm a
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type of person, I pay attention to the way things work. I
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grew up in the hood and I seen like, yeah, some people had
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nice clothes and nice cars, but I also seen they were getting locked up
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or they were dying. They was getting killed. There
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was so many things that I paid attention to. And
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I said, It looks pretty and good, but
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I don't want it to end that way. And
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so the wine was fine in the moment, nothing
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came of it, but I wanted to interrupt that cycle. And
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I said, you know what? Let me go for a walk. I
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interrupted that cycle. So what I want you to think about doing Interrupting
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that cycle with doing something that you enjoy that's
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in your toolkit, like, do I want to color? Do I want to go for a
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walk, get some of this energy out? Do I want to go for a run? Do I
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want to listen to something? Do I want to take a hot shower? Right? Like,
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think about some of these things that you can do to
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help, to help you in
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those moments where you find yourself struggling. Add this
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to your toolkit. The next thing in your toolkit I
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want you to think about is what are my supports, right? And
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this can be tricky for some people because some people may not have the
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supports like other people have. And
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what I mean by that, someone that you can talk to, like who's your go-to
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person? Pay attention. You may say, like, yo, I
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got go-to people. But are those go-to people helpful? Because
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sometimes people are only able to give you what they understand
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or what makes sense for them. And so let's just
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say that you're struggling with trying to work on
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being an entrepreneur. Right? And you're going to
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somebody that works a nine to five and has no desire to
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be an entrepreneur. Like it's not even in the cards for them, which is fine. Like
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it's not the road everyone wants to go down. You're talking to
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them about it and they're like, man, I don't know. That don't make no sense. Like
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if it feels more discouraging, maybe they're not the
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best people to talk to about it. Right? And that's okay. It
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doesn't make them bad people, but they're not people that you can go to for
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this. Maybe if there's something else that you can go to
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them for, that's great. But pay attention to who you're talking to
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and how you're being affected by it. Sometimes we're so used to having certain
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people in our lives and going to them for everything that we don't realize it's
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a hindrance to us. And again, it's not about them being
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bad people, but they don't have the skills or
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the mindset that you need to take you to the next level
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that you're trying to get to in life with whatever that is. So
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whether it's friends, family, it could be a therapist, it could be somebody from your
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your church or wherever your spiritual practices is,
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right? Sometimes it could be a coworker, right? There's
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people in our lives that are good people that
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we may have a reciprocal relationship with that we don't
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realize, like, oh yeah, that's right, I can't talk to them. I've spoken to
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people over the years and they'll talk about these different people in their lives, aunts,
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like, and I'll be like, oh, well, why didn't you talk to so-and-so? They were like, dang, I
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didn't even think about that. You know, and so I
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want you to have this somewhere. Like, you know what, I do have some supports because
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when you're struggling, I promise you, your mind will play tricks on
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you and you will forget to dig into that toolkit. But if you have
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it somewhere visibly available to you, you can go to
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it. Right. The next thing in your toolkit, I want you to
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think about resources and tools. So whether it's
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Celeste's Therapist podcast is a resource, because
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what I do is I help you shift the way you think. And I
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have over 400 episodes. Some people say, when
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they're struggling, they'll just pop on an episode. They'll listen to, I
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have a ton of interviews that I've done over the years, a ton of solo
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episodes. So podcasts are a great resource. Books
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are a great resource. I've learned so
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much about mental wellness, about the body, about
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being still from books, not from school, but
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just from my own reading for pleasure. They
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have so many self-help books. That's why I say it's not the lack of
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information available that's keeping us stuck. It's like, how do we apply it
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to our life in real time? Because sometimes it can feel like
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a lot. It could feel like, is this really possible to happen? So
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really being mindful. So books, we're talking about podcasts, maybe
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some videos that you can watch, some information that
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can help you really think about things in a different way.
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But Those are things that I listen to on a regular basis.
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I'm always listening to somebody that's motivational, listening
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to podcasts. I'm always reading, right? I'm allowing
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my mind to expand because if I don't do that and
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if I just allow social media, the news, like the
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negativity that happens in this world today, if I allow
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that to be the only information that my mind is absorbing,
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Life gets really challenging and hard because that's the only thing
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my mind has to look forward to. But if I'm constantly feeding
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myself new information, my mind has
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a different way of thinking and looking at things. And I don't think
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we realize the conversations we have, the things that we're listening to, like
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how they affect us really deeply. So
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we got the resources, so let's just start from the top, right? So
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we are talking about what we can do to put in our toolkit. We
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got our self-care practices, that's one. We got mindfulness,
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like what are we doing to stay mindful and
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present and how are we using that to Help us with relaxation. We
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got our coping strategies, like what are we using to cope when
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we're struggling? And then in our other part of our
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toolkit, we have our support systems. Who are our go-to people
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that we can talk to when we're having a hard time? And then we
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got some resources and tools like books. We talk
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about podcasts, maybe YouTube episodes, things like
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that. And so goal setting, right? I want
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you to think about as you're setting these goals to work on
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these things, please be realistic. If you're not getting
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out of your house and you say, you know what? I'm going to start going
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for a walk seven days a week. Be realistic with yourself. That's a
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lot. Because if you say seven days a week and you get
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out one or two days, you're going to feel discouraged. You're going to be like, oh, can I really do
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this? I'm starting off with one or two days. Like, it's okay.
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And I think, you know, I know people really want to change,
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but sometimes we set our expectations so high that we don't give our
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brain the confidence that we can do it. When people struggle with
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consistency, I'll tell them, let's just start with making
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up our bed. And somebody who makes up their bed every day may be like,
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oh, that's not a big deal. It's a huge deal. Because if you're not already making
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up your bed every day and you start making up your bed, guess what? Your mind
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is like, oh, shoot. I can't be consistent. I've been doing this work for
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a long time. I see it happen all the time, where people are finding
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themselves feeling hopeful and confident from
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the little things that they are trying to do to help build themselves
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up. So I really want you to think, as you're on this journey of
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trying to work on taking care of yourself and
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building this toolkit, don't look at things that you're
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doing as slow. It's not a big deal. Big up yourself. uh,
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celebrate yourself, celebrate those goals of
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how you're making things work, because it's so important. And
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if you don't celebrate yourself, the one voice that really
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matters because you're with yourself 24 seven Celeste, the therapist podcast
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is not in your ear 24 seven, but you are, if you can
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make that voice count, I promise you, it would be
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so, so good for your mental health. Right? So
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pay attention to that. As we're closing, right,
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we just talked about the different things that you should have in your toolkit.
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I want you to think about where am I going to place this,
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right, whether it's digital, right, like something you create,
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there's some creative people out here, where you put it together and
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you're looking at it every day, whether it's physical, right, you're writing
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it out. You're putting it on your mirror. It's a screensaver on
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your phone. It cannot be something that's going to collect dust. You
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need to have touch points. When I say touch points, where
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you have access to it on a regular basis. In
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my office, if you are watching,
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I have motivational quotes on my wall. It's from my guided
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journal, 365 Days of Intentional Living. I'm
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big on quotes, I'm big on affirming and for people to
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see things a certain way because guess what? Their mind is absorbing it.
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And so you can listen to this podcast and be like, oh my gosh, that's so good.
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I want to do that, right? You can listen to it and say that, but
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then like, unfortunately the world is not cheering you on
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to be healthy and they want you to buy something. They want you
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to feel insecure. They're not, they don't want you to do the
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things that where you're empowered. Cause if you're so empowered, you
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don't have to spend money. And so you have to
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be intentional about the process of building out your toolkit and
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making sure that you're giving yourself what you need, right?
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That's so important. So I really want you to think about that. As
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we close, I really want you to be patient and
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flexible with yourself. Have grace with yourself as you're trying this
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out. Don't let this be the last time you're thinking about your mental
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health toolkit. I want you to really embrace this
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idea. And if you want to
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share, I would love to hear from you and hear what
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you are doing to build your mental health toolkit. I'm actually
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having a vision brunch party at the end of the year. So if
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you are in the Massachusetts area and want to come
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where the beginning part, I'll talk about the different areas of our lives and
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how you can think about working on creating goals in those areas
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in a very intentional way. Um, if you want to come, if
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you go to stw yt.com slash events,
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you'll find the event there. I'm so excited about it. I want to
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make it a, now that I have my own space, I want to make it a quarterly
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thing. every three months where we're checking in because I
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got this space around the end of the year. So it just so happens that it's
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the end of the year. So I don't think that we should just be looking at our
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goals around December going into January. I
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do think we need to be touching it on a regular basis. So if
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that's something you're interested in, definitely, I would love to have you here. I
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want you to know that you have power to create change, but
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you have to have faith to believe in yourself, right? So if you have faith and
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you start believing in yourself, I always tell people, no one can take that away
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from you. So if you want to learn more about me, you
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can go to celestintherapist.com. If you want to learn more about
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my wellness center, you can go to stwyt.com, and
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that stands for shifting the way you think, .com. We're located
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in Stoughton, Mass. Um, and if you want to have a
21:04
wellness prevent, we have space for that. So I'm really excited
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for the opportunities and the things that are going to be coming up. It's
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very nerve wracking. Like I feel nervous about it, but I also
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feel so excited. And if you don't know that nervous and excitement feeling,
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it can feel the same. So I'm definitely like reframing it in my mind to
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help me settle down. So thank you so much for listening