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My Manager Doesn’t Like Me - 5 Tactics For How To Change This · Enhance.training

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: My manager doesn't like me is a horrible feeling to have.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Having at least a reasonable relationship with your manager is so important for so many things.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, your happiness at work.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, what work and projects you get involved with.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Third, your career development.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, your promotion and bonus prospects, to name a few.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing what actions you should take to improve how much your manager likes you gives you a big confidence boost, reduces the stress of the situation, and gives you a positive way forward.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're covering 10 signs your manager may not like you.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, build a professional relationship first.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Third, be good at what you do.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, make sure you are not the problem.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And fifth, help your manager to be successful.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And sixth, be a problem solver, bring solutions.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: There is a lot you can do to quickly and proactively change how much your boss likes you.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: As harsh as it sounds, don't expect your manager to change.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Work on what you can do to change how you view and approach this important relationship.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout this podcast, I'm sharing practical tips on how to influence how much a manager likes you.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: I've used each of these for decades with a massive range of managers, and they do work.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Jess Coles and I've had a 25-year management career in corporates and household names through to SMEs.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had several challenging managers with whom I had to build a professional relationship.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Keep trying different approaches and don't give up, and 95% of the time you will get there, i.e., get a good working relationship with your manager.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new to this podcast, Enhance.training shares business and people management expertise to help you improve your performance and that of your team and business.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And do visit us at enhance.training and take a look at the courses and resources for you to improve your management skills and the outcome your team delivers.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: First, let's go through 10 of the more common signs giving you reason to think my manager doesn't like me.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: These include, firstly, you don't get any feedback.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, you can't get your manager's time.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thirdly, you're being micromanaged and are shown very little trust by your boss.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, you're left out of important meetings or important information is not shared with you.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth, you only get negative comments or criticism from your manager.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: 6th, you are treated differently from others in the team.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Seventh, you're overlooked for interesting projects or opportunities to build your skills.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Eighth, your manager doesn't want to get to know you or doesn't appear to be interested in you on a personal level.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Ninth, your manager doesn't appear to be interested in your career development.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And tenth, you get low bonuses or are not considered for promotion.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: You may be working for a difficult manager or even worse a toxic manager, in which case your colleagues would also be experiencing many of these signs.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you're experiencing several or many of the signs we've just been through and these are not being experienced by your colleagues, then you are probably right to be thinking my manager doesn't like me.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Although it may sound harsh, it remains a fact.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: It is your responsibility to improve the relationship with your manager.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it would be nice if your manager also worked on improving the relationship, but you shouldn't count on this.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your career is absolutely going to be affected by a manager that doesn't like you.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Their career might be inconvenienced at worst by a team member not liking them.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because of this big imbalance, take ownership of the relationship, it is 100% in your best interest to do so.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So let's look at what you can proactively and practically do.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: The first action to take when you're thinking my manager doesn't like me is to build a professional relationship first.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: You must adopt a positive mindset towards your manager.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't like or at least appreciate your boss, it will show.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Most people don't like other people who don't like them.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Mentally focus on what your boss does well rather than what they don't.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Keep reminding yourself of their positive attributes.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Keep a positive attitude towards them.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate this can be really hard to do when you feel your boss doesn't like you.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Focus on building a professional relationship first rather than a friendly relationship which will give you confidence and take some of the hurt, annoyance and stress out of the situation.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Three good starting points to build a professional relationship with your manager are firstly to ensure that you're doing at least an average job, preferably a good job, more on this in a sec.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, that you're displaying a positive attitude and you're focused on helping the team.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And third, you go out of your way to actually support your manager.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not doing at least these, then building a professional relationship is going to be hard.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Your mindset and attitude are huge factors which impact how you do everything at work.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Work at building a positive approach and mindset first and foremost.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Your mindset is entirely within your control.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I do appreciate that it's not easy if you're constantly getting the feeling my manager doesn't like me, or worse, they are being a difficult manager too.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do whatever you can to develop a positive mindset and keep working at displaying this with your manager and with your colleagues.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: It will pay off.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Five good signs of a professional relationship include firstly, you trust each other and work to support each other and the team.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, you respect each other, your respective strengths and abilities, and what each of you brings to the team.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Third, both parties are self-aware and work to keep the relationship strong and productive.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, you have open communication, i.e.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: you share information, views and opinions, anything that will help the other person do their role well.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And fifth, honesty.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Both parties are honest with each other, providing useful feedback, ideas and suggestions to improve what the team does.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Take the lead with your manager and work on each of these from your side, regardless of what your boss does.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Keep at it and your manager will find it very hard not to reciprocate with similar behaviours.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: The second action to take when you're thinking my manager doesn't like me is be good at what you do.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Doing the best job you can is a massive part of your manager liking you.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: The better the job you do, the less your manager has to do themselves and the less they have to worry about.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: It is hard to dislike or be difficult towards a person who is doing a good job and doing it in the right way.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Work hard to do the best job you can.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Here are eight actions for you to focus on to do a good job.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, make sure the quality of your work is to a good enough standard or better.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, pay attention to the details of your work, which is a good way to move your output from okay to good.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Third, meet the deadlines agreed to deliver your work on time.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, manage expectations of your manager carefully.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Keep them informed of where your work is and let them know well in advance of problems or challenges to when you can deliver the work.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth, find out from your manager exactly what their expectations are of you, you know, the tasks and the projects, as well as how these should be done, i.e.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: your approach and behaviours.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sixth, look out for problems and issues within the team and think through at least one practical solution and then make sure your manager is aware of the issue and your suggested solution.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Seventh, help your team members to meet their deadlines after, of course, meeting your own.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And eighth, ask your manager if you can take some of the tasks they don't like doing away from them.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not doing at least a reasonable job, you're going to be causing a headache and problems for your manager.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: If this is you, it should not be a surprise you feel my manager doesn't like me.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Do the best job you can and work to be good at what you do while supporting your manager and the team around you.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: The third action to take when you are thinking my manager doesn't like me is to make sure you are not the problem.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: When you are annoyed, frustrated, angry, worried, etc.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And you have an external reason for those feelings, it is really easy to ignore what you might be doing to create or make worse the feeling that my boss doesn't like me.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Take an honest look in the mirror, think about your actions and behaviours towards and around your manager.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Early in my career I had a terrible manager.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what to do about it, and so I did nothing.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't communicate with my manager much, and I concentrated on doing my job, hoping the problem would go away.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't, and my actions or lack of actions made the situation much worse than it needed to be.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Don't make my mistake.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: A checklist of things to avoid doing include, firstly, not proactively keeping your manager informed about what you're doing.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, doing a bad job, you know, making mistakes, missing deadlines, submitting poor quality work, etc.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Third, you complain publicly or privately a lot or only state the negative side of a situation.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, having no or little understanding of your manager's expectations when doing your work.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth, not creating excuses to meet your manager or pop by their desk.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: You can't build a better relationship if you don't meet with them face to face.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Sixth, having a negative mindset towards your manager or you catch yourself criticizing them or talking negatively about them to others.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Seventh, you only bring up problems with your manager and expect them to provide you with a solution.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Eighth, you don't visibly support your manager, achieving their objectives or the team's objectives.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: 9th, you haven't thought about what you can do to reduce your manager's workload.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: If any of this list applies to you, change your behaviour as quickly as possible.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Tackle any of these issues proactively.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Look for the positives, bring solutions with the problems, compliment your manager and team members for the work well done.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: There is lots you can do very quickly to change your own actions.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you are not the problem or the reason why your boss doesn't like you.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: The fourth action to take when you're thinking my manager doesn't like me is to help your manager to success.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: You might be thinking, why do I want to make my manager look good or be more successful when I don't like my manager?
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Helping your manager be successful and look good in front of their peers or their manager is a great way of getting into their good books.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: I mean who doesn't like a person who's helping them look good?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Find out what success means for your manager.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Look up what the team goals are and work out how you can improve the results delivered against Target for one or more of these objectives.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Ask your manager what their objectives are so you understand these as well as the team objectives.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Think about how you can help your manager achieve their objectives.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: You might be able to do this directly or you might be able to help colleagues deliver, so i.e.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: doing it indirectly, thus helping the team and your manager.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: What problems is the team or your manager facing?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: How can you help come up with solutions and or help implement those solutions?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: When you start thinking and asking around, there'll be loads of opportunities for you to help.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And very important, make sure your manager knows how you have been contributing.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: You know, send them an email showcasing what you've achieved.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Tell them in your next one-on-one meeting.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Marketing your efforts with your manager is important too, so they know you have been helping.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Helping to support your manager is a must.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a high-performing individual, it is even more important to support your manager directly and obviously.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: This reduces the risk that your manager might be threatened by you and dislikes you as a result.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, it is very hard to dislike a person that has been helping you be successful.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: The fifth action to take when you're thinking my manager doesn't like me is to be a problem solver.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Bring solutions.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Every manager likes a team member that is a problem solver.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you are solving problems, there are less problems for the manager to solve.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: As a manager is nothing worse than an employee always bringing problems without any attempt to think about a solution.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: This dumps another problem in the manager's lap.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Every time you spot a problem, spend time working out at least one sensible solution.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Then take the problem and the solution to your manager.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: As a manager, this is great.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: The team member has taken ownership and responsibility to come up with a solution.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Whether the proposed solution is the final one used or not doesn't really matter.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: The manager has one less problem to deal with and they have a team member proactively solving problems.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is brilliant.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: This approach also gives you practice at solving problems, which is great for your own career development.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Pay attention to the actual solution decided on by your manager if it's different from the one you proposed.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Ask them to take you through their thought process if appropriate so you can learn.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: To be even more likable, organise the implementation of the solution with your team members or implement the solution yourself.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: This further reduces what the manager needs to do.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Be a problem solver and make your manager's life a lot easier.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Managers will love you for it and it won't be long before even the toughest, most difficult manager starts liking you a lot more.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, in summary, we have gone through 10 signs your manager may not like you and five really important actions to take to improve that feeling you have of my manager doesn't like me.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: It does take confidence to start each of these actions.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you're struggling with your confidence, please start one action and work on that.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Doing this will give you some confidence.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Then add another action and so on.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Each of these actions work.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: I've used each of them for over 20 years on a massive range of personalities and with over 30 different managers.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: They work.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Enjoy a better relationship with your manager.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have any questions, please drop me an email at support at enhance.training and I'll get back to you.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening, and I look forward to speaking to you again soon.