Latest / Scam Goddess / The CIA Swindler with Sasheer Zamata (Fraud Friday)
Transcript
- 0:17Speaker 1: Okay, I've got it.
- 0:19Speaker 2: What's poppin', congregation?
- 0:20Speaker 1: If you haven't already heard, we have the amazing Sashir
- 0:23Speaker 1: Samada on the show today.
- 0:26Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 0:28Speaker 1: Shazir, I'm so happy to finally have you. I feel
- 0:31Speaker 1: like you came in right when I was about to
- 0:32Speaker 1: start recording with Nicole once in the studio, and we
- 0:35Speaker 1: were talking to you through the glass. Yes. It was like,
- 0:40Speaker 1: I mean, I guess pre-social distancing. I was like, oh,
- 0:42Speaker 1: look at them having fun over there.
- 0:44Speaker 2: You came and distanced with us without us knowing.
- 0:47Speaker 1: I did. Yes. Now, I was telling you before we
- 0:51Speaker 1: started recording that I was just looking at you, girl.
- 0:55Speaker 2: Yes. I saw your movie on Hulu, The Weeknd. That's
- 0:58Speaker 2: what it's called, right?
- 0:58Speaker 1: Thank you for watching. Yes, The Weeknd. The Weeknd.
- 1:01Speaker 2: Oh my God. So nice to see.
- 1:03Speaker 1: Thank you.
- 1:03Speaker 2: First of all, you're beautiful.
- 1:04Speaker 1: You're so funny.
- 1:06Speaker 2: And you're just a chocolatey drop like myself.
- 1:09Speaker 1: And to see a rom-com and a fun movie like
- 1:13Speaker 1: that with just all Negroes, no one got shot by
- 1:15Speaker 1: the police. It's nice. It's refreshing to be like, oh,
- 1:21Speaker 1: we all survived and- Like the only drama was this
- 1:24Speaker 1: like internal, like this is nice.
- 1:27Speaker 2: We weren't like, I guess I feel like there's so
- 1:29Speaker 2: much trauma.
- 1:31Speaker 1: Uh, I call it trauma porn and look, some of
- 1:32Speaker 1: it's necessary, like 13th and, and, um, the central park five,
- 1:37Speaker 1: but at times, especially these dark ass times, child, it
- 1:39Speaker 1: was so nice to just have a black getaway. Like, yeah. Yeah.
- 1:43Speaker 1: And we're outside the whole, like most of it, it's
- 1:45Speaker 1: just like black people in nature. Everyone's gorgeous. Everyone's really funny.
- 1:50Speaker 1: It was so fun to shoot too. Like we're in
- 1:52Speaker 1: Malibu for a few weeks and it was having a
- 1:55Speaker 1: great time. I fully, fully loved it. And Stella Meggy
- 1:59Speaker 1: is the writer director, black woman. That was the first
- 2:01Speaker 1: time I've ever had that. That was amazing. It's just
- 2:05Speaker 1: felt good all around. And I'm glad. It's out on Hulu.
- 2:09Speaker 1: It's on Amazon, so people can watch it whenever they want. Guys,
- 2:11Speaker 1: if you need a break from the drama, please, please
- 2:14Speaker 1: watch The Weeknd. It's so good. Also, I love Kim Whitley.
- 2:17Speaker 1: I worked with her on Florida Girls, and she's such
- 2:20Speaker 1: a delight. Yes. Oh, my God. She was cutting up
- 2:23Speaker 1: the whole time. On screen, off, just had us in
- 2:27Speaker 1: tears the whole time. It was amazing.
- 2:29Speaker 2: She's a full-blown comedian.
- 2:30Speaker 1: And you know what was wonderful about her, too, is
- 2:32Speaker 1: I'm sure shooting in Malibu was pretty nice. We were
- 2:35Speaker 1: shooting in Savannah, Georgia. The gnats were attacking us. We
- 2:39Speaker 1: were falling into the ocean. This was not a light shoot.
- 2:42Speaker 1: There were definitely times that I thought I was going
- 2:44Speaker 1: to die. I was like, is we going to die today?
- 2:49Speaker 1: And Kim would be so upbeat and happy about everything.
- 2:52Speaker 1: If she missed a line or something, she'd be like,
- 2:54Speaker 1: now don't call Jack A. Harry.
- 2:55Speaker 2: Don't call Jack A. Harry to replace me.
- 3:00Speaker 1: That is very funny. I love that. So wait, Shazia,
- 3:03Speaker 1: do you have any relationship with scams?
- 3:05Speaker 2: Have you ever been scammed? Have you ran a scam? I.
- 3:10Speaker 1: I feel like in my early 20s, I got scammed
- 3:12Speaker 1: a lot just because my face is so, like, trusting. Like,
- 3:16Speaker 1: I feel like people would look at me and be like,
- 3:19Speaker 1: that's an easy target. Like, I just have the word
- 3:22Speaker 1: green tattooed on my forehead. You look nice. I will
- 3:27Speaker 1: say that.
- 3:27Speaker 2: I look like a nice person.
- 3:28Speaker 1: Thank you very much. I feel like my, I don't
- 3:32Speaker 1: know how to describe it. It's just a look. Like,
- 3:34Speaker 1: I do feel like now I do look nice, but, like,
- 3:38Speaker 1: I have more of a, like, I've lived. Right. Like,
- 3:42Speaker 1: in my eyes. But at the time, I was just like,
- 3:44Speaker 1: I'm excited to be here! And everyone's like, oh, she's new. Like,
- 3:51Speaker 1: I remember I was walking down the street in New York,
- 3:54Speaker 1: in Manhattan, and I passed by a psychic place. And
- 3:58Speaker 1: this woman was sitting in the windowsill looking out. A psychic.
- 4:02Speaker 1: And she saw me, pointed at me. It was like, you, like,
- 4:06Speaker 1: ushered me in, like, waving me in. And I was like, oh,
- 4:08Speaker 1: she needs my help. And so I like skipped in there.
- 4:11Speaker 1: I've been chosen. Yeah.
- 4:14Speaker 2: She needs me.
- 4:15Speaker 1: And she sat me down, talked to me for a
- 4:18Speaker 1: long time. She's like, I have something very important to
- 4:21Speaker 1: tell you. It's important that you of all people get
- 4:24Speaker 1: this information. And I'll tell you if you pay me $ 25.
- 4:27Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my God, people in New
- 4:31Speaker 1: York are so helpful. Like, People keep saying the opposite.
- 4:36Speaker 1: And yet, here she is.
- 4:38Speaker 2: All you gotta do is pay $ 25.
- 4:39Speaker 1: Right. She got you off the street. She says, sis,
- 4:41Speaker 1: I have teeth. That's just for you. Life or death. Yes.
- 4:44Speaker 1: No one else was doing that. Enter your credit card info. Mm-hmm.
- 4:48Speaker 1: And I will save your life. But technically, that's how
- 4:50Speaker 1: the hospital works, too. So did you pay? I didn't.
- 4:55Speaker 2: I wised up.
- 4:55Speaker 1: I did talk to her way too long. But then
- 4:58Speaker 1: I was like, I have to go. I don't think
- 5:01Speaker 1: this is right.
- 5:03Speaker 2: Well, that's what they do.
- 5:04Speaker 1: Yeah. That's a great scam because that's a person who
- 5:08Speaker 1: is counting on your empathy and building the sense of
- 5:11Speaker 1: a relationship, which is probably why she talked to you
- 5:13Speaker 1: so long, so she could disarm you.
- 5:15Speaker 2: And then you could be like, well, I don't want
- 5:17Speaker 2: to waste her time.
- 5:18Speaker 1: I guess I should pay her $ 25 to see if
- 5:21Speaker 1: I live tomorrow. Absolutely. Yeah, I got that.
- 5:28Speaker 2: I got two choices. I could wake up and see or.
- 5:32Speaker 1: Or just pay $ 25 now and know. Truly. Okay, I
- 5:38Speaker 1: can see that. But you don't seem to me like
- 5:40Speaker 1: a Mark Shazier, so I would say that. Thank you.
- 5:42Speaker 1: I appreciate that.
- 5:43Speaker 2: And also, you didn't get played. You talked to her
- 5:45Speaker 2: and then you talked out.
- 5:46Speaker 1: Yeah, I did say no. There was other times where
- 5:49Speaker 1: people would just ask me for money on a train.
- 5:53Speaker 1: They'd pass a whole car of people and be like, well...
- 5:56Speaker 1: She doesn't know any better. And I didn't. And I
- 5:58Speaker 1: remember one time I gave a guy some money because
- 6:01Speaker 1: he had a whole story about needing to take the
- 6:04Speaker 1: train somewhere to find his sister. You know, like something.
- 6:07Speaker 1: And I can't remember how much money I gave him,
- 6:09Speaker 1: but I was like, this will help him. Go have
- 6:12Speaker 1: a full day. Get back on the subway. He's still
- 6:14Speaker 1: there asking for money. And I was like, I just
- 6:18Speaker 1: gave him the money he needed to get the ticket
- 6:20Speaker 1: to go see his sister.
- 6:22Speaker 2: And you wanted to update. You were like, how was
- 6:24Speaker 2: your sister?
- 6:27Speaker 1: Did you see her? And now, now where are you going?
- 6:29Speaker 1: Is it a different sibling? Like what's going on? Um, yeah,
- 6:34Speaker 1: I just felt like thankfully nothing seriously bad happened. No
- 6:38Speaker 1: one's getting me out of like a lot of money
- 6:39Speaker 1: or anything, but, um, actually I, this also didn't happen,
- 6:44Speaker 1: but it was creepy. So I was hard upon money
- 6:47Speaker 1: and I went on Craigslist to like find gigs. And
- 6:50Speaker 1: there was like, And I've been told I have nice feet. Oh, yes.
- 6:55Speaker 1: You sure.
- 6:58Speaker 2: You was going to become a foothold? Listen, I ain't
- 7:00Speaker 2: mad at it.
- 7:01Speaker 1: If you got to get out here and put them
- 7:02Speaker 1: toes on the corner, you got to do what you
- 7:04Speaker 1: got to do. Look, it takes a while for a
- 7:06Speaker 1: comedy to start paying you. So I had to find
- 7:10Speaker 1: something to supplement the years. So I was like, let's
- 7:14Speaker 1: see what my feet can do. And some guy was like,
- 7:17Speaker 1: I run a website where I make videos with feet
- 7:21Speaker 1: your face and body doesn't have to be in it
- 7:23Speaker 1: but you know people will watch it for your feet
- 7:29Speaker 1: and so I emailed him and then he responded he's
- 7:33Speaker 1: like here's an example of the videos and it was
- 7:36Speaker 1: him like Ted or you know like some dude just
- 7:41Speaker 1: like a very portly man kind of rolling them around
- 7:45Speaker 1: and wrestling with women's feet and like putting them on
- 7:48Speaker 1: his face and I was like Is this like, are
- 7:52Speaker 1: people actually watching this or is it just for Ted?
- 7:54Speaker 2: No, I'm uploading it. I'm uploading it for sure. No,
- 7:58Speaker 2: I'm definitely uploading it.
- 8:00Speaker 1: Who's watching this being like, I can't wait to see
- 8:02Speaker 1: the next adventure Ted's going on with these feet. Like
- 8:04Speaker 1: he was mostly, it was mostly him in the video
- 8:08Speaker 1: and the feet were happened to be there. But I
- 8:09Speaker 1: was like, I don't think that's right. I don't think
- 8:12Speaker 1: that's what people want. So I just didn't respond. I
- 8:14Speaker 1: feel like the foot fetish industry is so straightforward. So
- 8:18Speaker 1: the fact that he was like, I'm going to be
- 8:20Speaker 1: the star. Your feet are going to be like the co-star.
- 8:23Speaker 1: Like I'm going to put you in some open toe
- 8:25Speaker 1: socks and play with them for an hour.
- 8:28Speaker 2: He was just trying to get people to let him
- 8:30Speaker 2: play with their feet.
- 8:31Speaker 1: I think that's what that was. Yeah. Yeah. And you
- 8:34Speaker 1: don't need a foot pimp when you're doing footwork.
- 8:36Speaker 2: Cause you could just do that at home.
- 8:38Speaker 1: Exactly. I can be an entrepreneur. I can just put
- 8:40Speaker 1: my feet in the camera. Have a live feed or whatever,
- 8:43Speaker 1: and then people pay. I know that now. I didn't
- 8:46Speaker 1: know that then. Right. What year was that? Because technology
- 8:48Speaker 1: was probably... Yeah, that was probably 2009, 2010. I feel
- 8:53Speaker 1: like that's when people started just getting internet famous, right?
- 8:57Speaker 1: MySpace was over, and then people started to move to YouTube,
- 9:00Speaker 1: but it wasn't well known. Yeah, that was the boom
- 9:02Speaker 1: of the YouTube people. Right. Yeah. Right. I wish I
- 9:05Speaker 1: had gotten on that. I could have just been on
- 9:07Speaker 1: the internet, I don't know, scratching my ass, and I'd
- 9:08Speaker 1: be a millionaire by now. Yeah, although it seems like
- 9:12Speaker 1: all the people who were super famous in the beginning
- 9:14Speaker 1: with YouTube are getting called out for all the crazy
- 9:16Speaker 1: shit they've been doing for the last 10 years and
- 9:19Speaker 1: being like, oh, I guess that was racist when I...
- 9:23Speaker 1: Dressed up like a Muslim woman and ran through the street.
- 9:26Speaker 1: Like Shane Dawson who was doing blackface. And not even
- 9:29Speaker 1: funny blackface. If you're going to do blackface, can you
- 9:31Speaker 1: at least be Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder? We
- 9:34Speaker 1: never canceled him because it was hilarious. And he was aware.
- 9:39Speaker 1: That was part of the joke. But yeah, there's people
- 9:42Speaker 1: who were not well equipped with the information on blackface.
- 9:47Speaker 1: Why that would or would not be funny. And ran amok. Yeah.
- 9:51Speaker 1: He got attacked by Will Smith's family, too, because of
- 9:54Speaker 1: that poster where he was pretending to jack off to
- 9:56Speaker 1: Baby Willow. Ooh, don't fuck with the Smiths now. And
- 10:00Speaker 1: they'll never let him go to the table. He ain't
- 10:02Speaker 1: getting close to that bitch. You are not invited to
- 10:07Speaker 1: the table. Shane's like, please let me come to the table, Jada.
- 10:09Speaker 1: I'll clean the table. I'll do whatever y'all need me
- 10:11Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, I can't believe they thought that shit
- 10:14Speaker 1: was a good idea. Like, if you go to the
- 10:16Speaker 1: Queen Collection... And you're like, yeah, this is it. And
- 10:20Speaker 1: your alabaster, like something, come on now. Yeah. Yeah. You're
- 10:24Speaker 1: already wrong if you're purchasing stuff that doesn't match your skin.
- 10:27Speaker 1: Like you're just, you should just know. Right. Step one,
- 10:30Speaker 1: if you are like in deep brown and deep tan
- 10:34Speaker 1: of the Bobby Brown section, it's probably, you probably have
- 10:37Speaker 1: to do something wrong. There was, um, did you watch
- 10:40Speaker 1: American Meme? It's on, it was on Netflix. It's like,
- 10:43Speaker 1: Talking about the Viners and the people getting famous off
- 10:47Speaker 1: of the internet. I think the Fat Jewish was in
- 10:50Speaker 1: there and Paris Hilton. And there was one girl who
- 10:54Speaker 1: was big on Vine and she was talking about her downfall.
- 10:57Speaker 1: I mean, she's still very famous, but she was like, yeah,
- 11:00Speaker 1: all these other people got more famous. And she's like,
- 11:02Speaker 1: people called me racist. And I was like, I just
- 11:05Speaker 1: didn't get it because they don't have a sense of humor.
- 11:07Speaker 1: And then they cut to a video where she's like,
- 11:10Speaker 1: She was, she like drew like a one, like a unibrow,
- 11:16Speaker 1: like made her skin dark and it was like, like
- 11:19Speaker 1: just turned around.
- 11:20Speaker 2: I guess she was trying to be a New York cabbie.
- 11:22Speaker 1: I don't know. But it was just like, she was like,
- 11:24Speaker 1: just had a horrible Arab accent. And I was like,
- 11:28Speaker 1: oh girl, of course everyone thought you were racist. She,
- 11:31Speaker 1: this is not like, People are being too sensitive. It's like, okay,
- 11:34Speaker 1: but look at your content.
- 11:36Speaker 2: She said people are being too sensitive.
- 11:38Speaker 1: They cut to her in the Klan robe. Yeah. I
- 11:42Speaker 1: don't get it. This is comedy. How to tie a noose.
- 11:47Speaker 1: One on one. Like, girl, what are you doing? Yeah.
- 11:50Speaker 1: People are just too soft. Well, let's get into our
- 11:55Speaker 1: first segment after a good healthy dose of fun racisms.
- 12:00Speaker 1: We keeps it light. So this is What's Hot in Fraud.
- 12:03Speaker 1: So Shazira, I'm going to tell you, our listeners, they
- 12:05Speaker 1: write in, they snitch on their friends, on their family,
- 12:08Speaker 1: on themselves. As always, guys, scamgoddesspod at gmail.com. Snitch on
- 12:12Speaker 1: everyone you know, but leave out the details and make
- 12:15Speaker 1: sure it's a retired con unless you want to share
- 12:17Speaker 1: with the community. So this one seems like Okay, what
- 12:21Speaker 1: does he want me to call him? Give me a name, Shazir. Jeremy. Jeremy. Okay,
- 12:28Speaker 1: so Jeremy wrote in and he says, oh wait, does
- 12:33Speaker 1: he want to be named James?
- 12:34Speaker 2: Chad, you got to put that up top.
- 12:36Speaker 1: I'm calling you Jeremy. So Jeremy says, one year I
- 12:39Speaker 1: went to work at Yellowstone National Park. The company that
- 12:42Speaker 1: provides hospitality there is called Zantera. Everyone, that's with an X.
- 12:46Speaker 1: That sounds like a birth control pill. And when I
- 12:49Speaker 1: started Zantara, all my problems went away. Right. So they
- 12:56Speaker 1: also provide hospitality for other national parks across the country.
- 13:00Speaker 1: I left a week before I was scheduled to start
- 13:02Speaker 1: working and called Mount Rushmore to get a free room
- 13:05Speaker 1: as I was passing through. They provided a free employee
- 13:09Speaker 1: room for a couple of days. If you want to
- 13:11Speaker 1: stay for free at a national park, sign up to
- 13:13Speaker 1: work at a different park. Call for a room that's
- 13:16Speaker 1: on the way. Bring the employee contract. And when you're done,
- 13:20Speaker 1: call the employer and tell them you ain't going to come. Say, sorry,
- 13:24Speaker 1: something came up and I can't work here this season.
- 13:26Speaker 1: Hope to work with you in the future.
- 13:28Speaker 2: Good luck and God bless.
- 13:29Speaker 1: Thank you, Jeremy. Wow. that's good that's good i like
- 13:35Speaker 1: that and i mean national parks are government funded yeah
- 13:39Speaker 1: they're fine you know you know we answer the government
- 13:41Speaker 1: over here like the park would be fine the trees
- 13:44Speaker 1: take advantage yes the i like that a lot they'll
- 13:48Speaker 1: be flying i know i do too because it's something
- 13:50Speaker 1: i would have never thought of because i guess i
- 13:53Speaker 1: guess i didn't even really know you could stay at
- 13:55Speaker 1: a national park neither did i like that there were
- 13:57Speaker 1: rooms to stay in Jeremy's definitely white. They have intel
- 14:03Speaker 1: that we don't get. They're like... The outdoors are mine.
- 14:07Speaker 1: I can just go anywhere. Right. We're too busy worried
- 14:09Speaker 1: about racism, like trying not to get pulled over. They're like, hmm,
- 14:12Speaker 1: where can I stay in the mountains? I have so
- 14:15Speaker 1: much time not worried about racism. So that's the real
- 14:21Speaker 1: scam right there. I need to get my free time
- 14:22Speaker 1: back worried about racism. But yeah, so I guess you
- 14:26Speaker 1: can just do, I want to know if this works.
- 14:28Speaker 1: If anybody tries this, let me know. But I didn't
- 14:31Speaker 1: know that you volunteered to work at a park.
- 14:34Speaker 2: For a season.
- 14:37Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't either.
- 14:38Speaker 2: That feels.
- 14:39Speaker 1: I mean, that sounds cool, too. If you're, like, not working,
- 14:42Speaker 1: you get to just be in a park.
- 14:43Speaker 2: If you don't need.
- 14:44Speaker 1: Because I can't imagine it takes much. Right. It's probably
- 14:47Speaker 1: not a lot of money. But, like, what do you do? Like,
- 14:49Speaker 1: clean up trash? And then you get to, like, hang
- 14:52Speaker 1: out in the park. Right. I guess you give tours
- 14:54Speaker 1: and shit. Probably. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I guess. Because, wait,
- 15:00Speaker 1: did he say that it was... volunteer or did he
- 15:03Speaker 1: say okay so i think it does pay because he
- 15:05Speaker 1: says employee yeah so okay that could be a nice
- 15:09Speaker 1: eat pray love moment guys yeah you have a whole
- 15:14Speaker 1: winter where you're not doing anything right discover yourself in
- 15:17Speaker 1: a national park when i finally evolve into being a
- 15:19Speaker 1: white woman which will happen um that's my ultimate scam
- 15:23Speaker 1: is i will be regarded as a white woman one
- 15:25Speaker 1: day um if anything mildly inconvenient happens to me i
- 15:29Speaker 1: may just run off to a park for a while Yeah.
- 15:33Speaker 2: I think it's a great idea. I think I deserve it.
- 15:36Speaker 1: And there's like, it's not high traffic. You can just
- 15:38Speaker 1: like get away, but still be in America. It's interesting
- 15:42Speaker 1: how many beautiful parks we have. I feel dumb saying this,
- 15:47Speaker 1: but it's like we have so many beautiful parks in America.
- 15:50Speaker 1: But like, I don't know. I guess it's just easy
- 15:53Speaker 1: to stay in your little bubble and be like, This
- 15:55Speaker 1: is my city. This is my town. And then I've
- 15:57Speaker 1: like passed through Utah and been like, oh my God,
- 16:00Speaker 1: this is Utah.
- 16:01Speaker 2: It's a bad bitch.
- 16:03Speaker 1: Okay. Yes. This is beautiful. And it's just been here
- 16:07Speaker 1: the whole time. That's actually, you know what? Now that
- 16:09Speaker 1: you say that, I'm very culpable of that. Cause like
- 16:12Speaker 1: I will travel, but it's mostly cause my friends want
- 16:14Speaker 1: to travel. So I'm like, okay, pick the place. Tell
- 16:17Speaker 1: me where to bring my body to. And then whenever
- 16:20Speaker 1: I go, I'm like, oh damn, like it's mountains and trees.
- 16:22Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 16:23Speaker 1: Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like whenever I
- 16:26Speaker 1: pick a vacation, I'm inclined to pick the beach. Like
- 16:29Speaker 1: we're going to an island somewhere, but there's also just
- 16:33Speaker 1: great lakes and greenery here that I've just been missing.
- 16:39Speaker 1: And it was also cheaper to go to because it's
- 16:41Speaker 1: in America. Right. This is very embarrassing. I was in
- 16:46Speaker 1: California and in LA and probably the same area for
- 16:49Speaker 1: like four years. I just started hiking at Griffith Park
- 16:53Speaker 1: like three weeks ago. It was my first time going there.
- 16:56Speaker 1: I'd gone to the observatory, but I didn't know that
- 16:58Speaker 1: the park was so cute. I was just going to
- 17:00Speaker 1: run in for a cute moment, for a photo op.
- 17:03Speaker 2: I didn't know Griffith was so beautiful.
- 17:07Speaker 1: Now, I haven't done it either. I've been here for
- 17:10Speaker 1: two years, but I just don't like being hot. I
- 17:15Speaker 1: just don't want to be in the sun. Fair, fair.
- 17:17Speaker 1: I go around five, and Griffith has more trees in
- 17:19Speaker 1: the beginning and stuff. Runyon's just straight up, hot ass sun. Yeah,
- 17:23Speaker 1: I don't want that.
- 17:24Speaker 2: Yeah, and celebrities. That's why people are going.
- 17:27Speaker 1: They're going for the sun and the photos. To see
- 17:28Speaker 1: the celebrities. That's the great thing about wearing a mask, though.
- 17:32Speaker 1: And then nobody will know you're famous. They won't know
- 17:34Speaker 1: you're Shazia Zameda from SNL. So go to those parks.
- 17:39Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 17:40Speaker 1: It can be like a vigilante. No one will know.
- 17:43Speaker 1: You just started doing crime? That's way, you took it
- 17:45Speaker 1: a step further. I was just saying so people wouldn't
- 17:47Speaker 1: bother you. No, I will now take the streets. They
- 17:53Speaker 1: are mine. I got robbed by a woman who definitely
- 17:57Speaker 1: was in this movie I saw on Hulu.
- 18:00Speaker 2: She was definitely in The Weeknd.
- 18:02Speaker 1: I couldn't see her face, but the silhouette looks similar.
- 18:05Speaker 1: Her hair looks similar.
- 18:06Speaker 2: Her voice was the same.
- 18:07Speaker 1: She actually said, go stream The Weeknd on Hulu and Amazon.
- 18:11Speaker 1: And then she took my wallet. She's like, check out Sashira.com.
- 18:15Speaker 1: And I was like, I think this is related.
- 18:17Speaker 2: No, I just really love her. And also I'm robbing you.
- 18:21Speaker 1: All right, guys, we're going to take a quick break
- 18:24Speaker 1: for some non-scam advertisements. We'll be right back. Scams! A
- 18:31Speaker 1: lot of money. So how he did it was, before
- 19:01Speaker 1: he worked at the DEA, he served as a spokesman
- 19:04Speaker 1: for the Republican Congresswoman Catherine Harris. Shocker. People in the
- 19:08Speaker 1: Republican Party being scammers. What? I'm baffled. Actually, all politicians
- 19:14Speaker 1: are scammers. It's been happening for the end of time.
- 19:16Speaker 1: This is very true. Doesn't matter what. Oh, God. What
- 19:19Speaker 1: side you're on. So Courtney was a spokesman, and Garrison's
- 19:23Speaker 1: last name is Courtney, so we'll just call him Courtney
- 19:25Speaker 1: from here on.
- 19:26Speaker 2: Garrison, and then I called him Garrison Child.
- 19:29Speaker 1: It's a long day. Courtney was a spokesman for the
- 19:31Speaker 1: DEA from 2005 to 2009, and the scam began three
- 19:35Speaker 1: years later. He presented himself as another person identified as
- 19:39Speaker 1: Individual A, a CIA operative. And so I guess he
- 19:43Speaker 1: would just show up and be like, hey, I'm Individual A. Hmm.
- 19:47Speaker 1: I feel like you shouldn't tell people you're a CIA operative.
- 19:50Speaker 2: Operative like no no no it's cool because I didn't
- 19:52Speaker 2: tell you my name.
- 19:54Speaker 1: Yeah I just said individual A and they're like okay
- 19:57Speaker 1: I still see your face right right this isn't during
- 20:02Speaker 1: mask wearing times this is 2005 so he's fully got
- 20:05Speaker 1: his face out here so interesting He actually applied to
- 20:09Speaker 1: be a CIA operative in 2005 and received a conditional offer,
- 20:13Speaker 1: but the offer eventually lapsed.
- 20:15Speaker 2: So I guess he had the offer. And then in 2006,
- 20:18Speaker 2: it expired. Why don't you just get the job?
- 20:21Speaker 1: Oh, no. Yeah, he's not going to be a good spy.
- 20:23Speaker 1: If he's procrastinating on signing up, they're like, please come.
- 20:28Speaker 1: And he's like, I got, I'm busy.
- 20:30Speaker 2: Like, what are you doing?
- 20:31Speaker 1: Isn't that, sounds like that's your job, your dream job. Right.
- 20:34Speaker 2: Go do it.
- 20:35Speaker 1: Welcome to the CIA. And he said, uh, let me
- 20:37Speaker 1: get back to y'all. I got something in the oven.
- 20:39Speaker 1: It's not jury duty. So, well, maybe it's that he
- 20:42Speaker 1: realized that he could probably be more successful if he
- 20:45Speaker 1: just pretended to.
- 20:46Speaker 2: Be in the CIA, which seems to be accurate.
- 20:49Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So he duped multiple public officials, including
- 20:53Speaker 1: senior military members, by telling them that they had been
- 20:56Speaker 1: selected to participate in a classified CIA program and needed
- 21:00Speaker 1: the companies to place them on their payrolls to hide
- 21:03Speaker 1: their affiliation with a spy agency. So he would come
- 21:08Speaker 1: up to you and be like, hey, what's up, Sergeant? Yeah, yeah,
- 21:12Speaker 1: it's me, Individual A. I'm going to need you to
- 21:15Speaker 1: put me on your payroll. I would hope that the
- 21:19Speaker 1: military officials would do more research before they were like, yeah,
- 21:23Speaker 1: that makes sense. Like, you can figure that out. Right.
- 21:27Speaker 1: But the government's so wasteful with spending, especially if you're
- 21:29Speaker 1: talking about the military sector. We always got money for guns.
- 21:32Speaker 1: America's so trash.
- 21:33Speaker 2: Absolutely.
- 21:34Speaker 1: America's like your homegirl who you gave $ 300 because she
- 21:37Speaker 1: said she was in a bind. And then the next
- 21:38Speaker 1: time you see her, she got some Gucci slides. And
- 21:40Speaker 1: you're like, where did you get those? Where's my... And
- 21:45Speaker 1: then she asked for more money. Right.
- 21:46Speaker 2: And it's like, we have.
- 21:47Speaker 1: Money for slides. We don't have money for you to
- 21:49Speaker 1: give you. Right. That's America. Yeah. That bitch.
- 21:55Speaker 2: I can't stand her.
- 21:56Speaker 1: So he would just say, you are now going to
- 21:58Speaker 1: be a spy, like the spy who shagged me. You
- 22:02Speaker 1: don't know what I'm referring to, do you? Anyways, put
- 22:04Speaker 1: me on your payroll. Oh, wait. Is that the Austin
- 22:05Speaker 1: Powers thing? No, that's individual A's secret spy friend. That's you. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
- 22:12Speaker 2: You got it?
- 22:12Speaker 1: I see.
- 22:12Speaker 2: Put me on the payroll. This makes sense. So prosecutors said.
- 22:19Speaker 1: That Courtney approached businesses and claimed that they so-called, he
- 22:23Speaker 1: was like a task force, right? He was working on
- 22:26Speaker 1: something that was created by officials at the highest levels
- 22:29Speaker 1: of the federal government. His task force included the President
- 22:32Speaker 1: of the United States, the Attorney General, so he said
- 22:36Speaker 1: the Director of National Defense was involved in this, the
- 22:38Speaker 1: Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence, and the Administrator of the
- 22:43Speaker 1: Drug Enforcement Administration. Okay, so everybody. He was like, anybody
- 22:48Speaker 1: who's powerful. Olivia Pope, B613, Huck, Viola Davis, Annalise Keating.
- 22:58Speaker 2: Some of these people aren't real. So this is what
- 23:03Speaker 2: he did with the power.
- 23:04Speaker 1: The story behind the non-existent program changed from time to time.
- 23:08Speaker 1: So sometimes he would be like, yes, Annalise Keating works
- 23:10Speaker 1: for us. Other days he would be like, no, it's
- 23:12Speaker 1: just George Bush. Sometimes he told victims that the program
- 23:15Speaker 1: supported a covert special operation in Africa. Other times he
- 23:20Speaker 1: explained that its mission was to enhance intelligence gathering capabilities
- 23:24Speaker 1: in response to a former contractor leaking. Okay. I'm tired
- 23:31Speaker 1: reading this. So, Courtney lied about his background and went
- 23:35Speaker 1: so far as to make them sign fake non-disclosure agreements,
- 23:38Speaker 1: barring them from discussing what he claimed was classified information. So, basically,
- 23:43Speaker 1: he scammed you, but be like, sign this NDA, though,
- 23:46Speaker 1: so you can't tell nobody else that I scammed you. Right, right, right.
- 23:49Speaker 1: That's very smart.
- 23:50Speaker 2: It's very smart. Honestly, wish I had thought of it.
- 23:54Speaker 1: Can I still do it? I would love to. Anyone
- 23:57Speaker 1: can make an NDA. Okay. Right.
- 24:00Speaker 2: All I need is printer paper.
- 24:02Speaker 1: Yeah. So he created phony documents to show companies that
- 24:06Speaker 1: they had been awarded with contracts with various federal agencies
- 24:09Speaker 1: in exchange for their assistance. Because of his former ties
- 24:12Speaker 1: with the government and knowledge of the system, he was
- 24:14Speaker 1: granted access to meet with the victims in facilities known
- 24:16Speaker 1: as SCIFs. And an SCIF is a Sensitive Compartmented Information
- 24:22Speaker 1: Facility in an enclosed area within a building that's used
- 24:25Speaker 1: to process sensitive comparted... Okay, so basically... He still, for
- 24:30Speaker 1: some reason, his key card worked at like the bunker. Yeah.
- 24:35Speaker 1: He was getting sensitive information. Yeah. So he had access
- 24:39Speaker 1: to this place that was like a secret hideaway that
- 24:43Speaker 1: was used by the government legitimately. And so he was
- 24:46Speaker 1: just bringing his homegirls there. You'll never guess. This is crazy.
- 24:56Speaker 1: Cute little bunker. I can show you. No one else
- 24:58Speaker 1: has access to it. That would make me feel legit
- 25:01Speaker 1: if he took me to a cute little B-16, 13
- 25:05Speaker 1: bunker like I was in Scandal.
- 25:06Speaker 2: That would make me sign over. I'd be like, okay,
- 25:08Speaker 2: where's the MDA?
- 25:09Speaker 1: Why not? And put you on the payroll? Absolutely. Yeah,
- 25:13Speaker 1: you seem real. This is legit. So, Courtney told some
- 25:16Speaker 1: victims they were under surveillance by foreign intelligence agencies and
- 25:20Speaker 1: would search them for electronic devices. And when his credibility
- 25:24Speaker 1: was called into question, because they were like, why are
- 25:26Speaker 1: you searching me with... He's probably got, like, one of
- 25:28Speaker 1: those beach metal detectors. He's like, why is your metal detector...
- 25:32Speaker 1: It's just his iPhone. He's like, I don't think it's
- 25:36Speaker 1: doing anything. No, no, it is. It is. I got
- 25:39Speaker 1: an app. Yeah. Oh, that's excellent. I hope it was
- 25:43Speaker 1: just his iPhone.
- 25:45Speaker 2: And people were like, sir, this feels wrong.
- 25:48Speaker 1: So then if they would accuse him of being shady,
- 25:52Speaker 1: he would accuse that person of being a spy for
- 25:55Speaker 1: foreign powers.
- 25:59Speaker 2: So basically he would just, how did that work?
- 26:01Speaker 1: He's like, I'm not lying. You're a spy. And it's like,
- 26:05Speaker 1: but you've been surveilling this person. So quote unquote. Right.
- 26:10Speaker 1: For a long time. You should know if they're a
- 26:12Speaker 1: spy or not. I feel like this is like the
- 26:15Speaker 1: worst gaslighting. Like, how are you just going to be like, sir,
- 26:18Speaker 1: this feels uncomfortable. And you're like, you uncomfortable.
- 26:21Speaker 2: And also, you a spy. I know you are.
- 26:23Speaker 1: I'm telling the government. I'm telling the black man from
- 26:27Speaker 1: 24 all about you. He wasn't ever really the president. Like,
- 26:33Speaker 1: how are you? All your references are just from TV shows. Yeah.
- 26:37Speaker 1: you know who our real president is, right? And he's like, yeah,
- 26:41Speaker 1: Morgan Freeman. The man from all state commercials. Oh, he's
- 26:46Speaker 1: also the man from 24? Okay, I take it back.
- 26:49Speaker 1: That's what I meant. So Courtney also arranged for his
- 26:52Speaker 1: adult son to be hired by two of the victim companies,
- 26:56Speaker 1: even though he was unqualified. So in addition to getting
- 27:00Speaker 1: himself on the payroll at companies, he was like, also
- 27:02Speaker 1: my son is a spy. I don't like that he
- 27:06Speaker 1: got his son involved.
- 27:07Speaker 2: You don't like the nepotism?
- 27:09Speaker 1: I mean, nepotism happens all the time, but I just
- 27:11Speaker 1: feel bad. I mean, maybe the son's a scammer too,
- 27:13Speaker 1: but I just feel, it feels like unwittingly setting your
- 27:17Speaker 1: son up to be, to get in some serious trouble
- 27:19Speaker 1: later down the line. That's true. I guess, but what
- 27:22Speaker 1: if his son didn't know? You know, nepotism happens all
- 27:24Speaker 1: the time. So what if he was just like, son,
- 27:26Speaker 1: you got a job. Now you have a job. Maybe. Hopefully.
- 27:29Speaker 1: I just don't want him to be like complicit to
- 27:32Speaker 1: a serious crime. Yeah, that's true. You're right. There could
- 27:35Speaker 1: be a bad side to this. I hope the son
- 27:37Speaker 1: didn't know, but this guy seems like a little shady. So,
- 27:40Speaker 1: and also I'm guessing if I was the son and
- 27:42Speaker 1: my dad was like, Hey son, I got you a
- 27:43Speaker 1: job as a defense contractor. And you're like, I majored
- 27:46Speaker 1: in poetry. Something seems off. No, no, no. I didn't
- 27:50Speaker 1: earn this, but I don't know.
- 27:53Speaker 2: Entitlement, white entitlement. You might think you did.
- 27:57Speaker 1: That's true.
- 27:57Speaker 2: So, Hey, what you gonna do? So a side scam.
- 28:01Speaker 1: This is just a side scam that he was running
- 28:03Speaker 1: while doing other scams. While the CIA scam was going on,
- 28:07Speaker 1: Courtney managed to get a job as a contractor with
- 28:09Speaker 1: a branch of the National Institute of Health that assists
- 28:12Speaker 1: other federal agencies. In that role, he had access to
- 28:15Speaker 1: sensitive non-public information and was able to steer contracts towards
- 28:18Speaker 1: companies where he was on the payroll. Oh, my gosh. Man.
- 28:24Speaker 1: First of all, you're a workaholic, Kourtney. This is a lot.
- 28:28Speaker 1: This is a lot. You got 50 little jobs. Uncle
- 28:31Speaker 1: Sam is definitely going to catch on to you. You
- 28:32Speaker 1: can't have as many W-2s. This is like the same
- 28:35Speaker 1: energy when someone has multiple families where you're trying to
- 28:41Speaker 1: hide everyone from everyone else. And you're like, I got
- 28:44Speaker 1: to take a weekend trip. And it's like, what? Why?
- 28:46Speaker 1: And then this family only has you for three days.
- 28:49Speaker 2: But they live on the same street.
- 28:51Speaker 1: You forget people's names. Yes. All the kids have the
- 28:54Speaker 1: same name. That's too much to keep track of. It is.
- 29:00Speaker 2: That is fun.
- 29:00Speaker 1: That's a smart way, though. You just name all your
- 29:02Speaker 1: illegitimate kids the same names as your other kids. Can't
- 29:05Speaker 1: mess that up. The boy is Brian. Brian. The girl
- 29:09Speaker 1: is Gina. The girl is other Brian. Everybody's named Brian.
- 29:16Speaker 1: I don't have enough bandwidth for anything else. Yeah, just Brian, please. Brian, one, two, three.
- 29:22Speaker 1: And you're like, dad, there's only two of us here. Oh,
- 29:25Speaker 1: I said Brian three. Oh, I was thinking about getting
- 29:29Speaker 1: us a dog. Yeah. Surprise. Oh, my gosh. So he
- 29:36Speaker 1: had this side scam where he worked at a legitimate business. Sir.
- 29:41Speaker 1: So obviously this goes to trial. The scheme lasted from
- 29:44Speaker 1: 2012 until at least 2016. Garrison Courtney pleaded guilty to
- 29:49Speaker 1: one count of wire fraud during a hearing at federal
- 29:51Speaker 1: court in Virginia. He faces up to 20 years in
- 29:54Speaker 1: prison and his sentencing is in October. So this is
- 29:56Speaker 1: still going on. We don't know how long he's going
- 29:58Speaker 1: to be in the clink. And he must pay full
- 30:01Speaker 1: restitution to the 12 unidentified companies as a part of
- 30:03Speaker 1: his plea deal. Now, I love how the companies were like,
- 30:06Speaker 1: don't put my name in there. Yep. Because it's embarrassing.
- 30:10Speaker 1: They're coming to trial in masks. And it's not for
- 30:13Speaker 1: social distancing. They're coming in ski masks. Mm-hmm. I don't
- 30:17Speaker 1: want you to know that I fell for this. They
- 30:20Speaker 1: have to be companies that we know. Oh, absolutely. I
- 30:24Speaker 1: want somebody to find out. Yeah. I'm sure there's a
- 30:27Speaker 1: way to. I'm sure when they go through the trial,
- 30:31Speaker 1: they have to make it public because they'll have to testify.
- 30:34Speaker 1: You're right. And then maybe if there's a jury, it's
- 30:37Speaker 1: going to come out. We're going to know who these
- 30:38Speaker 1: companies are. Guys, I'll keep my ear to the ground
- 30:40Speaker 1: on this because everything always comes out. I remember when
- 30:44Speaker 1: at the Oscars, they switched Moonlight and La La Land. Yeah.
- 30:48Speaker 1: I know who did that. You know, like the guy?
- 30:54Speaker 1: I know the guy. I used to, I can't say
- 30:57Speaker 1: too much because I don't want you guys to figure
- 30:59Speaker 1: out who this is, but I used to perform with him.
- 31:01Speaker 1: And one day, one of my other friends whispered to me,
- 31:05Speaker 1: he was like, you know, that's his dad, right? And
- 31:08Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that makes so much sense. And
- 31:10Speaker 1: now I fully believe that it was an accident and
- 31:12Speaker 1: that it really wasn't an intentional thing to like try
- 31:15Speaker 1: to give La La Land the award or to steal
- 31:17Speaker 1: anything from Moonlight. Because knowing this guy's son and like
- 31:20Speaker 1: how he is, I was like, oh, this was a
- 31:22Speaker 1: man who was just genuinely excited and made a mistake. Oh, God.
- 31:28Speaker 1: I mean, that was a huge mistake. A very, very
- 31:33Speaker 1: public mistake. And that's why he tried to keep hidden.
- 31:36Speaker 1: They were like, it brought shame on our family. They're
- 31:39Speaker 1: like living Pepperdine. Oh, God. Damn. I can't say anything else.
- 31:46Speaker 1: But yeah, so I think this will come to light.
- 31:48Speaker 1: I think that we'll figure this out. Yeah. I'm excited. Yeah.
- 31:52Speaker 2: So the U.S.
- 31:52Speaker 1: Attorney's Office says that they won't comment on whether individual
- 31:56Speaker 1: A could face charges or if the person who was cooperating... Oh, okay. So, basically,
- 32:02Speaker 1: he's saying, like, the U.S. Attorney's Office right now is saying,
- 32:04Speaker 1: if you were cooperating with Kourtney, we're not sure if
- 32:08Speaker 1: we're going to press charges on you yet. Because maybe
- 32:10Speaker 1: you really did think you was in a scandal. Yeah.
- 32:13Speaker 1: And maybe you really did think that this was legit. So,
- 32:16Speaker 1: I hope that the marks don't get charged. Yeah, they
- 32:20Speaker 1: were taken advantage of. But also, like, did y'all ever
- 32:24Speaker 1: talk to anybody about this deep cover operation? Your wife? Yeah.
- 32:30Speaker 1: Me drinking buddies, military friends. If they only signed the NDA,
- 32:34Speaker 1: they couldn't. Nobody honors those. You just tell somebody, don't
- 32:38Speaker 1: tell nobody what I told you. Right. We all have
- 32:42Speaker 1: one friend we're breaking NDA for. Oh, absolutely. Yes. I
- 32:46Speaker 1: tell Nicole everything.
- 32:47Speaker 2: I was about to say, is yours Nicole?
- 32:50Speaker 1: Yes.
- 32:52Speaker 2: She's pretty tight-lipped.
- 32:54Speaker 1: So that's a good NDA person to have. Well, I'm
- 32:56Speaker 1: sure in your relationship. I mean, I'm talking specifically about this. No,
- 33:01Speaker 1: any other capacity, we all love to gossip. Oh, yes. Absolutely. Yes. Okay, guys. Well,
- 33:07Speaker 1: we'll be right back for the sad end of the
- 33:10Speaker 1: show after these non-scam advertisements. All right. This is the
- 33:18Speaker 1: saddest part. Because this is when I have to let
- 33:21Speaker 1: Shishir go. And I don't want to do that.
- 33:25Speaker 2: But this has been so fun. You've been so lovely.
- 33:27Speaker 1: Yeah, this has been very fun. I turned into my
- 33:30Speaker 1: fake NPR voice. This has been so fun. You've been
- 33:32Speaker 1: so lovely. Thank you for joining us.
- 33:35Speaker 2: Having Ms.
- 33:35Speaker 1: Demeta here has been a treat. So before we let
- 33:40Speaker 1: you go, we want to honor one famous charlatan. Some
- 33:44Speaker 1: are famous, some are not, but this is our Scammer
- 33:46Speaker 1: of the Week session where we just honor one.
- 33:49Speaker 2: Person, a grifter that we feel like is worthy of
- 33:51Speaker 2: our praise.
- 33:52Speaker 1: And this week, this is a scammer who pretended to
- 33:56Speaker 1: be someone's grandmother and So they trolled right back. We've
- 34:01Speaker 1: talked about granny scams on here. We've talked about granny side.
- 34:04Speaker 1: Granny side is where you kill your granny so that
- 34:08Speaker 1: you can pretend that your granny did to get out
- 34:10Speaker 1: of things. Oh, my gosh. Oh, not actually kill.
- 34:13Speaker 2: No, you don't actually kill her.
- 34:14Speaker 1: Just say. You just say she did. Like, oh, I
- 34:16Speaker 1: can't come because I see it. Yes. And they're like,
- 34:18Speaker 1: but your granny died last year. This is my other granny.
- 34:20Speaker 1: This is my step-granny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have five grannies.
- 34:23Speaker 1: So this is going to be a rough year. My
- 34:26Speaker 1: grandpa was a hoe. So this is where you pretend
- 34:30Speaker 1: to be someone's grandma, which is interesting. So when a
- 34:34Speaker 1: Reddit user got a scam text from someone claiming to
- 34:38Speaker 1: be their own grandmother, they decided to turn the tables
- 34:41Speaker 1: by playing along while wasting the scammer's time. So I'm
- 34:46Speaker 1: just going to read a little bit of the comments.
- 34:51Speaker 1: So this says, a guy from Nigeria pretended to be
- 34:55Speaker 1: my grandma, so I had some fun. Why is it
- 34:58Speaker 1: always Nigeria? Because that is the Silicon Valley of scams. Ha! Ha!
- 35:05Speaker 1: Omo Naija. All day, every day. I love you guys
- 35:08Speaker 1: are innovators. I hope everyone there is wearing a black turtleneck,
- 35:11Speaker 1: just looking like Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs of robbery. Okay? Ha! Look,
- 35:17Speaker 1: in this world, there are the makers and the takers. Okay? Yeah. Yeah.
- 35:21Speaker 1: They are the innovators.
- 35:23Speaker 2: So this guy starts texting this guy, and he's like,
- 35:27Speaker 2: Answer me.
- 35:28Speaker 1: I miss you. And then the scammer's like, I miss
- 35:31Speaker 1: you too. I'm still feeling sick. Because basically the grandma
- 35:34Speaker 1: texted and was like, hey, it's your grandma. I'm feeling sick.
- 35:37Speaker 1: Can you send some money? Because granny is sick. So
- 35:42Speaker 1: then the scammer texts back, you had me worried crying, granny.
- 35:46Speaker 1: I was so sad. And the scammer's like, I need
- 35:49Speaker 1: your help now. And then he's like, need me to
- 35:53Speaker 1: come over? And he's like, no, help me by going
- 35:56Speaker 1: to the store now and getting the $ 200 Steam wallet
- 35:58Speaker 1: gift card. I really need it. I'm using it to
- 36:01Speaker 1: surprise someone special to me. The troller goes, oh. That's
- 36:05Speaker 1: so specific. Right?
- 36:06Speaker 2: Also, weren't you just sick, granny? Now you're going to
- 36:08Speaker 2: surprise parties?
- 36:12Speaker 1: Why are you worried about your friend?
- 36:13Speaker 2: You're sick.
- 36:14Speaker 1: Right. Granny, you stretching yourself too thin. So the troller goes, oh,
- 36:19Speaker 1: who is it? And then granny goes, I will not
- 36:21Speaker 1: tell you that yet. Just help me get the card first.
- 36:23Speaker 1: And then the troller goes, oh, is it for grandpa?
- 36:26Speaker 1: Do you need me to help you to drive to
- 36:27Speaker 1: the store to get it? That's funny. That's so funny. Guys.
- 36:36Speaker 1: Why don't you send me a picture of your face and,
- 36:39Speaker 1: you know, let's just FaceTime right now so you can
- 36:41Speaker 1: fully explain what you need from the store. And also,
- 36:49Speaker 1: that is hilarious. Also, that reminds me of one more
- 36:51Speaker 1: scammer of the week I want to shout out, which
- 36:53Speaker 1: is Gen Z, who I spent like a week ago
- 36:56Speaker 1: a lot of time fighting with on Twitter because I
- 36:58Speaker 1: was making fun of them.
- 37:01Speaker 2: Because they were making fun of us.
- 37:03Speaker 1: Gen Z has so many TikToks that are like, millennials
- 37:06Speaker 1: ruined everything. Millennials are the reason that everything we watch
- 37:09Speaker 1: on TV is from the 90s. Well, everyone thinks that
- 37:12Speaker 1: the generation before them ruined something. And then also the
- 37:16Speaker 1: generation under them is ruining stuff. I feel like no
- 37:20Speaker 1: one thinks Generation X ruined anything. We're just kind of like,
- 37:22Speaker 1: I don't know, why are you guys so sad? But
- 37:25Speaker 1: the boomers... We're like, you guys fucked it up. Yeah,
- 37:27Speaker 1: everyone blames the boomers.
- 37:29Speaker 2: They did. Gen X are like, we not thinking about y'all, girl.
- 37:31Speaker 2: Y'all sad as hell.
- 37:32Speaker 1: And then millennials, they're like, why are y'all so happy
- 37:35Speaker 1: y'all don't own anything?
- 37:36Speaker 2: And they're like, because we gave up. We gave up
- 37:38Speaker 2: on it.
- 37:39Speaker 1: We did.
- 37:39Speaker 2: You know how many avocado toasts I can get for
- 37:42Speaker 2: the price of a house?
- 37:44Speaker 1: But Gen Z seems like they really don't give a fuck.
- 37:47Speaker 1: They're like, we will scream in a cop's face. I
- 37:50Speaker 1: love just seeing all those memes that are like, I will...
- 37:54Speaker 1: ruin a Trump rally. I will scream in a cop's face,
- 37:57Speaker 1: but I have anxiety calling the doctor. I appreciate their
- 38:02Speaker 1: dedication to anarchy for sure. But I was saying, I
- 38:05Speaker 1: love it. They have so many videos about us that
- 38:07Speaker 1: are like, you know, like they have 12 roommates and
- 38:10Speaker 1: they can't get a.
- 38:11Speaker 2: Job and all this shit.
- 38:12Speaker 1: I was like, damn, y'all is why I thought we
- 38:13Speaker 1: was friends.
- 38:16Speaker 2: I was like, it's crazy to me.
- 38:17Speaker 1: How Gen Z is trying to come for millennials, economic
- 38:20Speaker 1: prosperity when they're about to pay a hundred thousand dollars
- 38:22Speaker 1: for zoom university. Right? Like it's not going to get better. Y'all.
- 38:28Speaker 1: You're not going to have a better time. It's going
- 38:29Speaker 1: to get worse. But I said that and then it
- 38:32Speaker 1: was like, have you ever seen that meme of the
- 38:34Speaker 1: grown woman squared up against like the three-year-old? Yes. That
- 38:37Speaker 1: was me on the internet just fighting children. That's very funny.
- 38:43Speaker 1: But I did it mostly for my sister. She's Gen
- 38:45Speaker 1: Z and she loves to talk shit about me. But anyway,
- 38:47Speaker 1: the point of this is Gen Z has been dressing
- 38:49Speaker 1: up like grandmothers and putting on masks and going to
- 38:53Speaker 1: the store to try to buy alcohol. That's really funny.
- 38:58Speaker 1: That's really, really funny.
- 38:59Speaker 2: So I just would love to say the grandma scams,
- 39:01Speaker 2: I love all of them. They're so good.
- 39:03Speaker 1: They're like stacked on top of each other in a
- 39:05Speaker 1: big trench coat. That's what I hope is happening. Absolutely. Yeah. Yes.
- 39:11Speaker 2: Well, this was so fun.
- 39:13Speaker 1: Yes. Very fun. Thank you for having me. Thank you
- 39:15Speaker 1: for being here. Where do you want to be found?
- 39:18Speaker 1: That's what we ask on the show. Where do you
- 39:19Speaker 1: want to be found? Anything you want people to see?
- 39:22Speaker 1: You mentioned it before, but check out The Weeknd. I'm
- 39:25Speaker 1: very proud of that. I have a show called Woke
- 39:28Speaker 1: that's going to be on Hulu and Netflix. September that
- 39:31Speaker 1: I'm very excited about. Yes, with LeBron. Yeah, LeBron. He's
- 39:34Speaker 1: been on the show. I love him. Oh, great.
- 39:36Speaker 2: Oh, nice.
- 39:37Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good crew of people. I think it's
- 39:39Speaker 1: going to be really funny and timely. What else? I
- 39:43Speaker 1: have a movie called Spree coming out in August that
- 39:46Speaker 1: I'm excited about. It's like a thriller. Yeah. kind of
- 39:49Speaker 1: okay thriller horror comedy thing yeah okay branching out a
- 39:53Speaker 1: little bit um best friends podcast uh Nicole Byer and
- 39:58Speaker 1: I host a podcast on Earwolf about friendship and we
- 40:02Speaker 1: answer friends questions and yeah that's it yes and guys
- 40:07Speaker 1: you can always find this podcast at scam goddess pod
- 40:11Speaker 1: uh at gmail.com if you want to email snitch on
- 40:12Speaker 1: your friends and family scam goddess pod on all platforms
- 40:15Speaker 1: guys I know I haven't put shit on the Instagram
- 40:17Speaker 1: I'm locked out of it I've been fighting with Instagram
- 40:20Speaker 1: about that. They're scamming me. We'll see when I ever
- 40:24Speaker 1: am free. Y'all start tweeting Free Lacey at Instagram. And
- 40:29Speaker 1: then if you want to see my nonsense, D-I-V-A-L-A-C-I, Diva
- 40:32Speaker 1: Lacey on all platforms.
- 40:34Speaker 2: All right, congregation.
- 40:36Speaker 1: Stay safe.
- 40:40Speaker 2: Where y'all going?
- 40:41Speaker 1: Look, I know this episode was a little on the
- 40:43Speaker 1: short side, which is why I want to give you
- 40:45Speaker 1: guys a preview of my bonus content on Stitcher Premium.
- 40:49Speaker 1: The show is called Confessions, and it's where we read
- 40:53Speaker 1: your letters with my co-host Priscilla Davies. If you like
- 40:56Speaker 1: what you hear, you can subscribe at Stitcher Premium and
- 40:59Speaker 1: get a month of free listening using code SCAM. That's
- 41:02Speaker 1: Stitcher Premium using code SCAM. Hope you guys love it.
- 41:09Speaker 1: this next scam is an oldie so shout out to
- 41:11Speaker 1: y'all who were in school 25 years ago um this
- 41:16Speaker 1: person says hi my name is Devon and you can
- 41:20Speaker 1: use my name because this is 25 years old okay
- 41:22Speaker 1: Devon I'm gonna use your name then back in my
- 41:25Speaker 1: elementary school we had these things called Davidson dollars this
- 41:30Speaker 1: sounds like something that happens 25 years ago I'm like
- 41:33Speaker 1: the money legit The money was named after the school
- 41:38Speaker 1: and had the school mascot, a dragon, on it. We
- 41:41Speaker 1: earned the money by doing odd jobs around the school
- 41:44Speaker 1: and behaving in class. This already sounds like a scam
- 41:47Speaker 1: that the school was running on students. Because what kind
- 41:50Speaker 1: of odd jobs are you having the students do? All right,
- 41:54Speaker 1: if you mop up the kitchen, that's three Davidson dollars.
- 41:57Speaker 1: Go ahead and clean that vomit up. Put the sawdust down.
- 42:03Speaker 2: That's 1.5 Davidson dollars.
- 42:05Speaker 1: Like, y'all gonna turn these kids into employees? I hate America.
- 42:10Speaker 1: I hate the economy. How you gonna put these little
- 42:13Speaker 1: children to work like this? That's bad. So, some teachers
- 42:16Speaker 1: would give them out for making good grades. And this day,
- 42:19Speaker 1: Devon was elected into the school justice system and would
- 42:23Speaker 1: work as a judge during his lunch hours. This whole
- 42:26Speaker 1: school is a scam. I want out. They got the
- 42:29Speaker 1: kids doing their own judge work. Come on now. These
- 42:33Speaker 1: motherfuckers are running the school. What the fuck? Where are
- 42:36Speaker 1: the adults? I feel like the teachers were just, like,
- 42:39Speaker 1: taking long lunch breaks or leaving. It's like, you get
- 42:42Speaker 1: 10 Davidson dollars to proctor the exam today, Tony. Okay?
- 42:47Speaker 1: The hell? Ms.
- 42:49Speaker 2: Swanson's gonna be in her car smoking a doobie. Okay, Ms.
- 42:53Speaker 1: Swanson, what does proctor mean? Ms. Swanson? She's already gone.
- 43:00Speaker 1: She's gone. Yeah, so this school is bizarre, to say
- 43:05Speaker 1: the least. So he was a judge during his lunch hours,
- 43:09Speaker 1: and he saw different cases where people would counterfeit Davidson
- 43:12Speaker 1: dollars and use them at the school to redeem class prizes.
- 43:16Speaker 1: He would then sentence them to detention and whatnot. What
- 43:20Speaker 1: is whatnot, Devon? Also, I love the fact that he's
- 43:25Speaker 1: working through lunch. This little child in elementary school is
- 43:31Speaker 1: working through his lunch. Anyway, talk about- They got these kids.
- 43:35Speaker 1: Counterfeit Davids. I'm done. He had to adjudicate. I'm done.
- 43:39Speaker 2: They got these kids working like Raven-Symoné.
- 43:41Speaker 1: They were like, you starting at three and you will
- 43:44Speaker 1: never stop. Okay. So he would give them detention and whatnot.
- 43:48Speaker 1: I'm very curious as to what whatnot is, but here
- 43:51Speaker 1: we are. At this school, it could have been a
- 43:52Speaker 1: lot of shit. Right. After getting a few cases and
- 43:56Speaker 1: understanding how they got caught, I decided to give it
- 44:00Speaker 1: a try. Wow. Corruption. Corruption in the justice system. This
- 44:06Speaker 1: is such a microcosm of America. They were like, we're
- 44:09Speaker 1: going to get these young capitalists on here quick.
- 44:12Speaker 2: Davidson dollars.
- 44:16Speaker 1: I stabbed my classmate and stole all his Davidson dollars.
- 44:20Speaker 1: This shit is wild. So Devon said he decided to
- 44:24Speaker 1: get his hand in the game and go dirty. He
- 44:26Speaker 1: said he had a friend that worked for the bank.
- 44:29Speaker 1: They have a bank? And I got to see how
- 44:34Speaker 1: the money was made. So I took the knowledge I
- 44:37Speaker 1: had and I printed a few one and five dollar
- 44:40Speaker 1: bills because they were nothing and anyone wouldn't think to question.
- 44:45Speaker 1: And they were printed on plain white paper. Wow. Counterfeit.
- 44:49Speaker 1: We starting the babies with counterfeit in elementary school. Elementary.
- 44:53Speaker 1: So after a few months of doing this, teachers and
- 44:55Speaker 1: principals caught on to the students using fake money to
- 44:57Speaker 1: buy things. So they changed all the money over to
- 45:00Speaker 1: colored paper and double-sided printed the money. I happened to
- 45:04Speaker 1: get the inside knowledge before the switch because of my friend,
- 45:06Speaker 1: the friend who works at the bank. This nigga is
- 45:09Speaker 1: doing too fucking much. Devin, Davin, Devon, come on now. Coincidentally,
- 45:18Speaker 1: my term was coming up and I was up for re-election.
- 45:21Speaker 1: I hate this story. Is this made up? Even if
- 45:27Speaker 1: this is made up, it's very funny. But this is
- 45:30Speaker 1: just insane. So he said he didn't have much time
- 45:33Speaker 1: to print the money. I tied with another young lady
- 45:36Speaker 1: and wouldn't make as much being a judge. So I
- 45:38Speaker 1: decided to go bigger with my counterfeit Davidson dollars. I
- 45:42Speaker 1: loved having inside knowledge and I needed my friends to
- 45:44Speaker 1: be closer to me because he was my bestie then.
- 45:47Speaker 1: Still to this day, one of my best friends. So
- 45:49Speaker 1: they got on the scam together and they are still tight.
- 45:52Speaker 1: I love it.
- 45:53Speaker 2: He was also in the court system as my deputy.
- 45:58Speaker 1: What?
- 45:59Speaker 2: Our deputy?
- 46:02Speaker 1: Because I had to share with the other girl. What
- 46:04Speaker 1: the hell? Okay, so because he had to share with
- 46:06Speaker 1: the other girl, this was the deputy. Child, this is complicated.
- 46:09Speaker 1: So he said that he got another job at the
- 46:11Speaker 1: student shop to prepare for his pivot. Because, what? I'm
- 46:18Speaker 1: just going to keep reading, y'all. I can't. So because
- 46:20Speaker 1: I couldn't print on white paper anymore and it was
- 46:23Speaker 1: getting phased out, we would wash it through the bank
- 46:26Speaker 1: store with colored money. I'm going to go now. I
- 46:29Speaker 1: don't want any more. This nigga said he's laundering money.
- 46:33Speaker 1: I can't. We would wash it. At the motherfucking store
- 46:39Speaker 1: you get, what, erasers? Is he a criminal now? I
- 46:44Speaker 1: need to know because this just shows you that scammers
- 46:46Speaker 1: are born, honey. They're not made. They're born. He said,
- 46:52Speaker 1: so at this point, we would exchange my small bills
- 46:54Speaker 1: for larger bills. We never got caught because my mom
- 46:56Speaker 1: moved in the middle of fifth grade and I just
- 46:59Speaker 1: had to stop. The things we could buy were snacks,
- 47:02Speaker 1: little toys, but we also had bookstales and a student
- 47:04Speaker 1: market day where we could get clothes and jewelry. I
- 47:07Speaker 1: bought my mom a hideous purple dress and jewelry runs
- 47:10Speaker 1: that she never wore but kept it for years. I
- 47:12Speaker 1: love that Devon was like out here criming and he
- 47:15Speaker 1: was like, here, I got you something nice, mama. From
- 47:19Speaker 1: the school store. He's throwing Davidson dollars at her like,
- 47:24Speaker 1: treat yourself.
- 47:25Speaker 2: Okay.
- 47:26Speaker 1: Got my mama a house. Also, like, how is the
- 47:30Speaker 1: school funding all of this basically free shit that the
- 47:34Speaker 1: kids are buying with fake money? I'm starting to think, like,
- 47:39Speaker 1: maybe they cut a staff member at this school. Oh,
- 47:41Speaker 1: they did a lot. And they were like, okay, we'll
- 47:43Speaker 1: just have all the kids do the janitor's job. If
- 47:48Speaker 1: we have all the kids do it, we'll save money
- 47:50Speaker 1: by paying them in trinkets and Davidson dollars. Okay, okay.
- 47:55Speaker 1: We don't need a dean here. Let's just have the kids.
- 47:58Speaker 1: They'll adjudicate their own problems. I can't believe it. First
- 48:04Speaker 1: of all, I want to go to Davidson. I wish
- 48:07Speaker 1: I had gone to Davidson. And he says, side note
- 48:10Speaker 1: at the end, the way kids got caught was because
- 48:13Speaker 1: there was a water gun in store that was an
- 48:16Speaker 1: astronomical amount of money. When kids went to buy it,
- 48:19Speaker 1: teachers would step in and ask about it. If you
- 48:22Speaker 1: were keeping up with your grades or had multiple jobs,
- 48:24Speaker 1: there's no way to prove So basically they're saying like,
- 48:29Speaker 1: so if you were keeping up your grades and you
- 48:32Speaker 1: had multiple jobs, there's no way to prove that you
- 48:34Speaker 1: stole your Davidson dollars or counterfeited. So he always kept
- 48:38Speaker 1: multiple jobs. Cause he was like, no, look, I'm paid
- 48:40Speaker 1: up out here. Okay. I work in the justice department.
- 48:44Speaker 1: I got a homie at the bank. I'm in the
- 48:47Speaker 1: sanitation department. I also proctor test. Okay. So I have
- 48:50Speaker 1: multiple jobs. This is terrible. So you can't catch me.
- 48:54Speaker 1: I earned this. Right. This gun. But if you ain't
- 48:58Speaker 1: have no job, so basically the teachers were like the IRS.
- 49:00Speaker 1: They going to keep one shiny thing in there and
- 49:02Speaker 1: swoop in like Uncle Sam. Like, where you get all
- 49:03Speaker 1: that money to buy that water gun? You ain't got
- 49:05Speaker 1: no job. Your grades are bad, Percy. You get straight Ds.
- 49:10Speaker 1: You were talking in class last week. I kicked you
- 49:12Speaker 1: out eight times. You don't deserve this Nerf gun. The hell?
- 49:17Speaker 1: This school was wild. Divine. like, you might be in
- 49:23Speaker 1: for some back pay. You might want to put out
- 49:25Speaker 1: a suit against your elementary school because they owe you
- 49:28Speaker 1: for all this that you did. Have you or a
- 49:32Speaker 1: loved one worked at Davidson Elementary and suffered injuries from
- 49:37Speaker 1: unpaid labor? okay it's probably making these kids get in
- 49:41Speaker 1: the air ducts they're like it's 12 davidson dollars if
- 49:43Speaker 1: you get in the air duct okay oh my god
- 49:48Speaker 1: we have we've been having a rat problem you bring
- 49:52Speaker 1: back a rat that's eight davidson dollars so in short
- 49:56Speaker 1: if you went to davis elementary y'all go ahead and
- 49:58Speaker 1: get y'all back pay because y'all been working since the
- 50:01Speaker 1: beginning it's not right it's not okay I love that
- 50:05Speaker 1: everybody was scamming everybody, though. The teachers scamming the students,
- 50:08Speaker 1: the students scamming the system. The whole school is a
- 50:10Speaker 1: damn scam. My God. I mean, it's basically America. Literally.
- 50:14Speaker 1: A microcosm of America. He learned a lot in that school.
- 50:18Speaker 1: During the pandemic, there was a point where, at the
- 50:20Speaker 1: same time, 40 million Americans were unemployed and Jeff Bezos
- 50:25Speaker 1: was on a track to be the first trillionaire. Woo,
- 50:30Speaker 1: let's not even get, not to mention what he does
- 50:32Speaker 1: to his employees. Right, what happened to the trickle down?
- 50:35Speaker 1: What happened to like, if we don't make billionaires pay taxes,
- 50:37Speaker 1: they gonna hook it up? They ain't hooked up, nothing.
- 50:40Speaker 1: They never do, they never do, they never have. And
- 50:43Speaker 1: it's crazy that they keep like, people still sign up
- 50:47Speaker 1: for that shit. Like, they never have this shit. I
- 50:51Speaker 1: don't want to be a hater. I don't want to
- 50:53Speaker 1: be a hater. And maybe this will be your motivation
- 50:55Speaker 1: out there, scammers. But the chances of you making a
- 50:58Speaker 1: trillion dollars in your lifetime are extremely, extremely, extremely low.
- 51:04Speaker 1: Don't let these billionaires and trillionaires tell you, like, you
- 51:08Speaker 1: got to be poor your whole life because maybe you're
- 51:09Speaker 1: going to be a billionaire like them, maybe. And then
- 51:11Speaker 1: maybe you can have some rights.
- 51:13Speaker 2: Like, bitch, I'm tired of waiting for rights.
- 51:17Speaker 1: Okay. I ain't made a billion dollars and I got
- 51:20Speaker 1: four jobs. What's going on?
- 51:22Speaker 2: I got four jobs. Where's my billion dollars? Devin had
- 51:27Speaker 2: 12 jobs.
- 51:28Speaker 1: Okay. And he still ain't a billionaire. Okay. He wasn't
- 51:33Speaker 1: even a billionaire in the school dollars, in the Davidson dollars.
- 51:39Speaker 1: He couldn't even make a billion of those and he
- 51:40Speaker 1: was counterfeiting.
- 51:44Speaker 2: Okay.
- 51:45Speaker 1: That was a great scam. Oh, man. There's so many
- 51:47Speaker 1: levels to it. So many levels. Brilliant. Okay.