Latest / Unstoppable Success Podcast / 12 - The Art of Reframing Challenges: How to Turn Setbacks into Stepping Stones with DamianAndrews.com's Damian Andrews

Transcript

12 - The Art of Reframing Challenges: How to Turn Setbacks into Stepping Stones with DamianAndrews.com's Damian Andrews · Unstoppable Success Podcast

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the unstoppable leaders and fluffable leaders and flight.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Fellow and founders.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Fleet your six.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Fleet tier six.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Come on to the end of the show and we will share with you how you can be our next guest.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: 15 to 20 minutes.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Let's be unstoppable.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Hello everybody, and welcome to the Unstoppable Leadership Fun Light podcast, where we hear from influential leaders and their game-changing insights.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: I am Jacqueline Struminger, your host, and today I want to welcome our amazing guest, Damien Andrews.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Damien and I have some history.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: But a little background on Damien before you get to know more about him from the podcast is that he is a CEO, international speaker, best-selling author, philanthropist, say that 10 times best father, and a person who loves to make life simple and easy and create business devs to grow your revenue and profit.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: He speaks to audiences around the globe, bringing a fresh life to often overlooked fundamental principles essential for rapid success.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: So welcome to the show, Damien.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Share a little bit more about yourself.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: We've got some, I know you and I have some amazing things happening coming up.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we do.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: We do.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um book launch coming very soon.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, my background, I went to school like most people.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't like it like most people.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: I I left school uh because the army recruitment people came around and they gave off jobs.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I took that.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a way to get out of school.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: I did that for four years, and and that was fun jumping out of aeroplanes and doing all kinds of things like that.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: I ended up posted to the where the special forces are in in Australia.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I got to do a lot of really exciting things.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Realized, I looked at people 10 years my senior and realized that's not what I wanted to be in 10 years' time.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I got out of the army.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I then uh was flopping around, not really doing much.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was in Perth and a friend said, Oh, there's good money in the mines.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I went, Oh, that sounds like fun.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I decided that I was going to get a job in the mines.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Then I wrote an application.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is I'm a lot older than I look.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I wrote an application and handwritten.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it was I didn't have a computer at the time, and there weren't many computers at the time.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: What about a typewriter?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have a typewriter.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I handwrote a letter of application.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you look still a good age team.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no filters turned on either.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: I so I handwrote in a letter about I identified who were the biggest contractors.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: There were five contractors, and I handwrote an application to them and sent that off.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then the next day I handwrote another application to each of them and sent it off.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I did that for two weeks every day.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then one of them called me up and said, You seem keen, why don't you come in for an interview?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I got a job and went up and worked in the mines, did that was a lot of fun, but then got a bit homesick.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: I came back to Melbourne, which is from Country Victoria, but Melbourne's capital here.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I came back to Melbourne, studied commerce, accounting, and law.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Again, wouldn't recommend them for fun, but I would highly recommend having some of that knowledge if you can operate in business.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then I worked in corporate recovery for probably about nine years, which is I saw myself as like Richard Gere from Pretty Woman.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: We're taking over companies, breaking them up.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I had more hair back then.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: And just like and then I I had it, it just fell in that there was an opportunity to do some consulting myself.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I took up that opportunity.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was there, I noticed it, and I gave that a go.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: It started to work, and then from there, I've pretty much done my own consultancy from that point into a variety of different companies from small businesses.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: So with small turners, one of my clients had a it was a second generation company, engineering company, and they were turning over 8 million.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then over 18 months during COVID, I took them up to 25 million.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we just made some simple changes.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't work any harder, they just did some things more effectively and resulted in a lot more revenue.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then other clients that I worked with, they're multi-billion dollar companies, and we put in place as systems and strategies to help improve how those companies operate.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's that is a lot of amazing, great things that you've done and accomplished.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: But one thing that you said that really sparks my brain, and that is you saw the opportunity.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: You saw the opportunity for the to be the consultant.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: And in your in so there's two things.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: So you saw that in your story about how you've accomplished so many great things.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: Is there one person or persons who exemplified or shared great leadership or that were great leaders for you that you were able to model things after, or was it the oh I think I can do this a bit better?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, a two-part question.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh great questions too.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: The first part of that question was I have a number of programs that I've written.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I one of the things I did have was an RTO, uh, what we call an RTO here registered training organization.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I've developed a lot of IP as to and that I implement with companies.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that we have, and I have a program called Be the Black Hole, become a force so powerful, your goals come to you.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that's leveraging off your reticular activating system.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And we've all had that experience uh where we've bought something, usually it's a car, and we'll drive the car off the lot, and then we see that car everywhere.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now, everyone didn't go out and buy the car at the same time and suddenly start driving on the street.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: The car was always there.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: You just noticed it because it's relevant to you.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when you set up your brain to use your reticular activating system effectively, all of a sudden you see these opportunities right there in front of you.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a simple process of training your unconscious mind.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of times we learn consciously, but we don't learn unconsciously.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's why we have you've had a friend who's had that experience and said, I've had a learning experience, and then next week you watch them go and make the same learning experience because they didn't learn.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: And learning and action is an unconscious function.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: So when you incorporate that, and that's what uh be the black hole is about, is using your reticular activating system to notice things that are right in front of you.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the other part of that question where you were asking about mentors, I was very fortunate to have some really great mentors.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And one of them uh was a gentleman called Greg Larson.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: He was the managing director and chairman of BP, the um big energy company.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we were, and we used to have lots of chats and things like that.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I remember a couple of times sitting on the uh a park bench and we'd just be chatting and he'd be giving advice, which is was fabulous.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one day I I would always, there'd be times I'd ask him questions via text.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'd send him a text message asking for advice.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And most of the time, actually all the time, except for once, he would not respond for a couple of days.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I know what he was doing there.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: He was making me think about it before he responds.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: So he was teaching me to fish.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And there's one day I was I had something coming up and I was a bit worried about it.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I wrote to him and I said I was worried about it.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, going into this thing, I wasn't, it was, I wasn't sure what to do or where whether I was going to do okay.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I wrote to him about that, explained the situation, said, Could we have a chat?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm going to this meeting soon.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And this was the one time he did respond immediately.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And he wrote, Damien, I think you should back yourself that you'll make the right decision in the moment.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, that was the most profound advice I have ever received was just believe in yourself.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to do okay.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you mess it up, you'll get some feedback where you can then learn from it.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: But in that moment, you're going to do the best that you can do, and you'll get feedback, you'll be able to learn from it.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: But walk in there knowing that you're going to do the best that you can do with the knowledge you have.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't mean it's all going to work out, but it's the best that you can do with what you have.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when you have that.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: I had a friend, I was at a doing some lectures, and I was walking around afterwards, and one of the people there is his friend came up to me and said, You just walk like you own the space.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's and that's where that came from was in in any moment, I own the space that I'm in, and I'm not reactive.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a really important thing.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's a high level of emotional maturity.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: I remember on a project, there was an old guy on the, he was the QC um the QS, the quad quantity surveyor for the client.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: So basically he had sign off on everything.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And he was a grumpy old guy that should have retired a long time ago, but he was still working.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And he could be difficult at times.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I was wearing a suit at the time with braces, 80-style braces.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that was really cool when I was doing this project.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it was great and I was having fun.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And we were talking, and he, for whatever reason, he decided he grabbed one of the braces and just flicked it.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I pretty much ignored it.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: I just went and I stayed focused on what I was doing, and I didn't go, how dare you do that?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I just ignored and kept talking and explaining what and then he stopped and he goes, I really love that you wear those braces, they look really cool.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't have the guts to do that.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting, whereas if I had reacted and got, how dare you, and basically reacting to his action rather than me being in control of mine, it would have been a completely different outcome.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: But because I stayed focused on my objective, it was to deal with the situation we're in, the stuff on the side was a distraction, red herring, whatever you want to call it.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: And but then because of that, because I didn't react, he then opened up and it actually further developed our relationship.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: It came to the point where most of the things I would put forward, he would advocate for as this project uh moved forward.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it was it became a different way of staying in control, yeah, maintaining that control and focus.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: And this comes back to be the black hole, that program that I have is being very clear about what it is your objective is and staying focused on that and not letting little distractions take you away because it just hinders the progress.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: You you said some really there's a lot of great nuggets in there.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it and I love that story in and I just visited my daughter in at college, and something that you said just made me think it's and to bring it not just in business, but in life itself, we have to believe in ourselves, number one, and to be focused on you on what you want and not reacting, but and that's so important because so many times in business you walk into a meeting, or you you may be feeling nervous about commanding the attention of the room.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: But if you just almost take a few deep breaths and relax and believe in yourself, that fear goes away and the pride and the joy comes up, or maybe you see somebody that is it's they're on your chicken list, or there's somebody that you like, oh my God, I love that person.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm intimidated by them.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: But then you think, why should I be their human?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta believe in myself and they should want to hear from me because of who I am.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then you go up and you approach them and you feel great.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: And and even what you just said, and then on top of that, what made me think about this weekend, I just visited my daughter, is what you just said the best you can do.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that is so important because we are not perfect humans, but having great leadership can help people bring out the best in us and also know that whether it's a test we're taking, a project we're working on, we we inherently will always want to do the best we can do.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: We don't start out a project or doing something thinking, oh, I want to fail this test or I want to screw this up because I want the building to fall over, or whatever it is.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: So we but knowing that at that given moment, at that given time, under those given circumstances, you are doing the best you can do.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that stood out for me, one of the quotes that stood out for me was from Bon Jovi, where he talked about when he was him and the band were starting, he said, you have to think that you are the lead act.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: You have to do that from the very beginning.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: You are the lead act.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's something that we look at and we we idolize people.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And when I was younger, I made a decision because a lot of people you know talk about I want to be the next whoever it is, Elon Musk or whatever, and and they want to be something, and but that's not you.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I made a decision a long time ago.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be the Damien Andrews.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: That was my decision.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't going to emulate anyone.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I had a long time ago when I was in the army on my desk in my room, I had a little um poster quote thing that said, don't go where the path may lead, go instead where there's no path and leave a trail.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where that foundation came from.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not trying to be emulate anyone else.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: I draw from other things, yeah, but I don't uh elevate them above me.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: I have just as much talent as any other person that's accomplished anything on this planet.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I see myself.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we all should see ourselves that way as well.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: I totally agree.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's so important where you said to keep on that idea where you said, I set out to be Damien, the best Damian Andrews, because that's who you are.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the Damian Andrews.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like I am the Damian Andrews.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: And what's really important though is where you said where you two said you always have to think that you're going out as the lead act.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that's and it's something that whether you believe in it or not, and I believe that you should believe in it, that is manifesting.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: And manifesting if you think it, that you are the lead act, you'll be the lead act.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: If you think you'll be the CEO, you'll be the CEO.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: You have to believe the part, look the part, feel the part, and know the part inherently and take it on as and embody it 100%.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I know you and I have had lots of interesting, funny, fun conversations about this.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: But we also know that when you step into a room full of people, you have to step into that room with the belief of owning the room and where you want to be, the person that you want to be, and and not thinking it as oh if I do this, I will become.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: No, you are it.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: You are there, you have arrived.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and a way you can test that, and you're exactly right, you have to have that belief that you are already there, and you are, you have everything inside to you might have some skills and behaviors you need to learn, but as a being, and you have to separate those two.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I talk about that a lot of a program called Negotiation Magic, which is a high-end negotiation program.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: And you have to come from that place that you already know what it is that you want.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the biggest test that you can use is how comfortable are you with silence?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of times we walk into the room and you want to say things, you want to talk.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it was interesting last night, I was at a meeting and I was talking and giving some um explaining something to a person that was next to me, and that person started talking.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: We've had a long relationship.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: And as normal, he would normally talk and say things and a lot of extra things.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it was funny because he was he he started talking, he goes, actually, no, I need to shut up and listen.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: You finish.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like he'd made that shift of going, this is the place you want to be in.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: The person talking most in a room is not the smartest person in the room.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's the person that's listening is the smartest person because they're gaining the information.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: And this something that's really powerful, we don't realize a lot of people don't realize is that listening is most important.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's gaining the knowledge is most important, especially when you're negotiating.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Really important to gather information.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: But you go into a lot of situations and people there trying to prove how smart they are, and then it doesn't matter what other people think.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where when and I'm really grateful, hated it at the time.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: When I was a little kid, my mum should always say it doesn't matter what people think.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: And at the time she wore these beanies, which were at the time, this was before beanies were cool, and so she wore these beanies and that hate it and don't wear those beanies in front of my friends.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: And she'd be like, doesn't matter what other people think.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: But that was such a powerful life lesson that if you can own your space, not worry about what people think, and react, a lot of times react, and I deal with this a lot in social media where you people have people make because social media people aren't accountable, so they say whatever they want.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if you react to that, again, don't be reactive, react in a way you want to react, control your press.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you get all emotional and say, How dare you say that about me, you're actually not in a strong position.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas, yeah, I appreciate that's your opinion.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, and move on.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it gives you that's what gives you power, not being a not being reactive to what other people think, you owning your space.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: I learned that from Wayne Dyer, one of my I've never met Wayne Dyer, but I consider him one of our mentors, and then he talked about how you need to treat yourself like you are you mentioned at the time,$50,000 base, which is probably a lot more expensive now.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you would treat yourself with respect.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: And notice it said, treat yourself with respect, not demand other people treat you with respect.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it becomes, he said, you have an inner candle flame, and it doesn't matter what people say, it's like volleyball.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're playing volleyball.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: Someone say, How dare you do that?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you could or you should have done this or whatever, and some they make some accusation, and you can say, How you you can't say that to me.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you said it's like volleyball.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: They they hit the the volleyball to you, and you can take it and smear it all over yourself and say, How dare you?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can hit the volleyball back and say, Well, you didn't like what I do.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's it's their issue, not yours.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: And this is that whole thing I think today where people get offended.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's you only can be offended if you take it on board.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't take it on board, how can it offend you?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's offending and embarrassment.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's an it's a feeling, an internal emotion that you feel, but you don't have to feel it, and you take it on.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's well, and and that's that thing with embarrassment as well.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: We've all probably all done it.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know I've done it a few times.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: We're walking down the street and you trip on something stupid.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you can get embarrassed by that.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: But I when I made that shift, when that happened, I'd trip and I'd get up and go, yeah, and people would clap.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Where do they put that crack in?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Make a joke out of it.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, did you see they just put that crack in the road or whatever it is?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you you make if you make light of it and and own that you are human and you will make mistakes and that's okay, um, people respect that.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: So speaking of mistakes and leadership, how do you look at quote unquote mistakes um when you are I guess it's twofold.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: One is with people on your team and within yourself.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's well, mistakes, they they oh that's a very good question, and there's a lot to that question.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's a loaded question for a reason.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: The mistakes, there's the mistakes that come from in um incompetence, and I'm using that as a brutal term, but it's we have experience, and if you step into, and I've done that where I've done a number of legal cases and I've been involved with them, and there's times where I've stepped into the ring, and as the judge rightly said, it says you're clearly not as experienced here as some of the other people, and this area is I see your point, and and you're right on this part, but on this part here, so I'm and I actually got extra things, but as a result, it could have been done a different way.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I got costs, we got costs awarded against us for that because we hadn't taken things in in we missed part of that element.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a mistake, and that comes from inexperience in that space.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: It worked out all right in my case, but it's one of those things where inexperience can lead to mistakes because you just don't know.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing is things can come out of left field.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I wouldn't put them as mistakes.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: But everything in that regard, I treated feedback.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: Again, last night um at the meeting I was at, someone piped up and said, actually, the batter's closed.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: And they and had ruffled a few feathers and things like that.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: But what what he'd missed was they'd said, we actually haven't voted on this yet.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: It sounded like they were voting on it, but they actually hadn't, they're just gathering some more information.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: If he had rephrased it and said, coming back to asking questions rather than making bold statements.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Saying, should we be doing this at the stage?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Haven't we voted on this?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: That would have gathered information, and therefore he wouldn't have made a mistake.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: He would have actually gathered information and got clarification.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's where, as a leader, a lot of it is about listening and asking questions.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you have to have a vision.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's a completely different topic to the mistakes.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: You have to have a very good vision and be clear in the direction that you're going.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but then you want to be taking on as much feedback to work out are we heading in that direction?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because as soon as you can identify that something is a little bit off track and like an aircraft, you're mostly off track.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's constant correction.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: So with that, I wouldn't treat things as mistakes when you've got the competence.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: I would treat that as how do we gather more information so we can correct our course?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because you'll be constantly correcting the course if you're moving towards a particular direction.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: That is it's so true.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I and really, mistakes are our ways to learn.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: And a great leader, and we we've talked about this, a great leader helps people understand that it's not a mistake, it's not failure, but it does make you more resilient and it does help you learn so that the next time you have more of that knowledge so that you have the knowledge to pull from it.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: So it it changes what you know.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why you added another word there that was failure, and and failure is only when you give up.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that's completely different.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I talk about that, and and there's a reason I uh my first book, uh Get the Cheese, Let the Other Mouse Go First, opens with Shakespeare's quote from Hamlet: nothing is good or bad thinking makes it, and deliberately so I put that in that book because a lot of times people say, I've got to find the good in the bad.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, that's really inefficient because that has a presupposition that it's bad.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: So you you've got you've got to go through this process of going, oh, this bad, this sucks, and and then you're going through that, that process.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then you've got to find the good in it.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's can be hard work, which who likes hard work anyway?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it creates a whole bunch of negative feeling in you.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: But if you have that approach from Hamlet, nothing is good or bad.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: So this is an event.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: So rather than going, oh, this is bad, why did this happen?
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: And going through that process, you go, This happened.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: How does this serve me?
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: Immediately, you've you it's not good or bad anymore.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that serves you.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times when things don't work out, I had this discussion with my son's karate sensei.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: He was a seventh dan black belt at the time, he's now eighth dan, but at the time it was seventh then.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: And we're talking about hard and easy.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, it's relative to your skill.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're in a seventh dan black belt.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: If I asked you to do grading at yellow belt level, the first level, how hard would that be?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you go, it'd be very easy.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so, well, that's and that's because you're a seventh and black belt.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: You have the skill.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where we need to reframe that.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: And when we reframe what's happening as to how is it difficult because of my skill level?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: All of a sudden, it's not the event is hard.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: It becomes what can I do to be better at getting where I need to get?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that opens a whole bunch of doors in your mind, your unconscious mind, to learn new things much, much quicker to get to where you want to go.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: But it comes back to that thing where learning is a process to learn something, you have to let go of something.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times, because they say adults learn slower than children, which to me that doesn't make sense.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: And what is the difference between adults and children?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you ask it, if you explain something to a child, a lot of times, especially young children, they're listening, they're going, Oh, really?
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know that.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you explain something to an adult, they'll start talking and tell you what they know.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so they're not learning.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're we spend so much time as adults.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh it's like listening with one ear, because we're always thinking about what we can comment versus just being a good listener.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: And most of the time when you're talking, and and notice you you'll do this, and I do this as well.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: We all all do it.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: If someone's talking to you, you're immediately thinking about what you're going to say next.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're not really listening.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: But when you actually stop, when you stop yourself and go, what are they really saying?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: All of a sudden you take on a whole bunch of new information.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: And now that's a challenging position to be in because now you're vulnerable.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now you could be wrong, you could make a mistake, as we talked about before.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: But if you actually listen, you all of a sudden you gain new information.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's about taking that time, owning your space.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is my space, so I'm listening.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not necessarily taking it, going to go down that path, but I'm going to fully assess it.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: So you own the space, you take the time, listen, and go, does that fit?
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: And this comes back to assuming you have an objective, and a lot of people don't have written down goals.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: Is does this fit with my objective of where I'm going?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that becomes the assessment.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: And when you listen, you actually take that on board and you learn things much, much you find so many different ways of achieving things much, much quicker, and your life becomes really simple.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: And it's yeah, it's yeah, listening is like the it's like the key to so many, it's like the key or the route to so many areas within leadership.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: So speaking of leadership and we're what we've been talking about, how do you say what would be like one game changing or insight that you could share with somebody who's leading a team to get better at to get better at listening and or also they're as I call them team members or partners with it that they are working with better when it's the time for them to learn, meaning maybe they made a mistake, but it's the learning opportunity.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's another good question.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: The the thing the challenging part for that for a lot of people is it's not external.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: The steps you need to take are not external.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's what you and I are working on with uh the book that we're we're writing about, what we call authentic leadership.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the part of it's a process of your own personal growth, your own personal reflection, which is why we're creating it as a workbook, because you need to go through that journey.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something you can learn from yourself from uh externally, it's only something you can go through that process yourself, and you do need to make that level of growth.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that we again as adults we get attached to an identity.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I wrote about in my second book, Get Shit Done.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Was whatever follows I am, that's what you are, that's what you believe you are, that's what you train your unconscious to be.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: And when we hold on to that, it becomes very difficult to change.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, as a leader, to be more effective, it becomes a personal growth as to okay, my job as a leader is to guide the ship, to set the vision and guide the ship.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: I have a friend who um has a massive company, multi-hundreds of million dollar turnover.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: And he got really sick, he was working really a lot, got really sick because of work, drove himself into being unwell.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: And he's had to spend nine months in bed, he could not leave the bed.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: And as a result of that, he still had getting his company reports on the computer and things like that, but he wasn't in the business.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: The business actually performed the best that Abbott has, and he realized what he needed to do was set the direction and then get out of the way.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people have, and this is again owning that space, being comfortable with because a lot of times we feel oh, I'm gonna lose my position, or and we feel vulnerable.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: But again, when you own your space, you're comfortable with that position.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, he recently he just came back from Mongolia riding his motorbike around for six months, running his company, and this is again turning over hundreds of millions of dollars because he sets the vision.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is where it's going.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: He listens and empowers the staff to go and do what they need to do.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because not everybody wants to be the leader of a company.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is the thing we think every and this is part of that scarcity mentality we can have, which is part of a survival thing that if you believe in evolution, that's what we needed to survive.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: And if you believe in creation, then it's probably a similar sort of thing, creation, if I can say that word.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: That but we have this innate thing that we have of a scarcity mentality that someone's going to take our position.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: But if you are a good leader, if you have a clear vision of where you're going and how you're benefiting the world, which is a key part of that, how you're benefiting the world, then there's nothing else, there's no one like you.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: You are the only unique persons, and there are a lot of people that are going to want to follow that because they don't want to be leaders.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: And they're the people that you want to find.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: You have a very, very clear own your space, this is the direction we're going.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: There'll be people, if you're benefiting people, there'll be people that want to be part of that.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: And we were talking in the pre-show about some little things that we've got happening here.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I've got people running around doing all sorts of stuff because they're just passionate about it.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: And they're asking me, should we do that?
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so, what do you think?
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is the overall objective I want to achieve.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: How do you think that will work?
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: Go and create.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: And they're running around and they've come up with some fantastic ideas.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: Just go and be.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: And they just because they feel empowered, and that's what you want to do.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of people don't feel empowered, but you give them that space where they can feel empowered, they just flourish and just go because that's what they want to do.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: But instead, you don't have to be a feel threatened that they're going to take your job because most people don't want that anyway.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: That Damien, that is so true, and that is it's that is to me, that's like the best advice.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: We talk about this a lot, and sharing a vision, setting direction, and empowering your people is so important.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: You need, as we say, chiefs and Indians.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: Not everybody can be a chief, so you not everybody is the same.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone wants to be a chief.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think everyone can, but a lot of people don't.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: I've I know people that have gone out and started businesses, they were technicians type people, and they've they were and they thought, I want to start a business.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: But what they realized in starting the business was they love being a technician.
• 32:49
  unknown: Right.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't love being a business owner because it's a completely different set of things you got to do.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: And not everyone wants to do that.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: And that's and I think that's a key thing, is is that and leadership is what you just said, which is setting direction and vision, empowering people, but also knowing the people that you have in your tribe and helping them continue to find their vision and their purpose and help those who might want to go up and those who are happy in the work do the work.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a great balance of that, but it's finding that within our and it's also finding that within ourselves.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: And great leaders help us know what that is, right?
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: Or help us find that.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: And part of that is is helping people have that, yeah.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: When you say helping them find that, is exactly right.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: Finding something in there that they didn't see, and some of that can be guiding as well.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: And and this is a very technical, well, not very technical, very rudimentary example was one of the little projects we got here, is creating some signs, and it's a little community group that I'm working with, and the people are really passionate about these signs that we're gonna create.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: And some of the metal that they've found is folded in half.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: So when if they then they need to unfold it, so it's sheets and it's like it's folded like that, and it needs to be like that.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: And one of them was saying, Well, if we fold it like this, it's gonna have a crease in there and it's not gonna look nice.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: And he was getting really stuck on that.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: It had to be this perfectly flat thing.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, What if that crease actually meant something?
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: What if it you symbolized something?
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's art, art can be anything, right?
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_00: You just put some meaning behind that, and so I I did a little bit of research as to what that could mean, and it could mean resilience and strength because it's been bent and straightened again, and so we we come up with a number of different ways of explaining that and put that in there, and that's part of what the leader does, is go, well, let's explore that.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: But that comes from listening.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: He had a concern, he was worried about it.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not, don't be stupid, that's not the response.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: You go, well, okay, that's a point.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're concerned about not being created, but could that mean something?
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: Asking a question.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right, asking questions.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: Damien, I could talk to you forever about so many things about leadership.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I have one question I want to ask you because we are all always works in progress.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: What is one aspect of your leadership that you're still working on?
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: And how are you challenging yourself to grow in that area?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: You got lots of good questions.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: I yeah, and it's one of those things that always comes back to one of the things I learned too late in life because I was very when you do personality tests, I was very hard person, it was like straight to the point.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually had a friend call me once and she called up and she said, I'm calling you because I know I can ask the question.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to have long-winded conversations about stuff, I can just get the answer.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, yeah, I could just and and so that was for me, it was one of those things that I learned later in life that a lot of times uh what people remember is not so much what you say, but how you make them feel.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's something that I've spent a lot of time on and still really focus on now.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty good at it, but it's that's my key focus is in an interaction, how am I leaving the people um in their feelings about what's going on?
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because the emotion isn't a big driver for people.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I I want them to be, I shouldn't say I want them to feel good because there's times where I don't.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I deliberately make people feel uncomfortable, depending on who what situation is.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: Similar, we're recording this where you while you guys are having elections.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: We've just had some elections here as well, and there were certain people I wanted to make very uncomfortable, and I did things in a way to make them feel uncomfortable.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: But again, it was knowing that people are emotional, they a lot of times they're driven by emotion.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do we facilitate that?
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's an area that I I really focus on now is understanding how am I communicating in a way and what reaction is that having from an emotional perspective from them, because that's most likely what they're going to remember.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's really key.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a really good thing to note.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: And for our listeners, to let people to leave people either feeling intentionally feeling a little bit better than when you first met them, or depending upon if it's in the case of, as you were just saying, it could be in a meeting, maybe making somebody feel a little bit uncomfortable if that's your intention.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: But really, at the end of the day, no matter what we do, even if you made that person feel uncomfortable, it is still treating them with respect.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that you would also still, if they were to give you a review at the end of the day, it would probably still be a five-star review because you probably help them think and see something maybe a little bit different.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that's part of that leadership process.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I know um Steve Jobs comes up a lot in leadership.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: And as he talked about, it's not my job to be your friend.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm paraphrasing, but not my job to be your friend.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: My job is to get the to help you be the best you can be.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times that can be uncomfortable for people.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so, how do you take them on that journey so they can be the best that they can be in a way that you know pushes them to places where they're capable, they just don't see it yet.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, some people will will thrive in that, some people need a little bit more pushing, other people you know will just will back off because it's not what they want.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: And you just need to be mindful of that, and that's part of leadership as well.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's not your job to craft everyone into a mold that's gonna work because some people don't want to do that.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: Some people you need to let go um because they're not gonna fit, they don't want to fit, and that's okay.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, that's great.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: So, Damien, thank you so much.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: Where can people find you?
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: Listeners, seriously, go in and check out Damien.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: I I know he's on LinkedIn, but where can they find him?
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: Where can they get your books?
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: All those great things.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: My website is Damienandrews.com, which has links to all the programs that we have.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: It has the links to the books there.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: The books are available on Amazon and a number of other different locations, but it's definitely on Amazon.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: And the podcasts that I've done, if you search Damien Andrews Podcasts, we there's a couple of podcasts there to check out, and my YouTube channel, which is the uh at symbol Damien Andrews501.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll see lots of great videos there.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I've got a whole new series coming very soon, which is gonna be really excited about that.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's a whole new different take on things where yeah, I'm not gonna spoil it, but they'll be gonna be short.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's gonna be a lot of things you can relate to from pop culture.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be very exciting and really exploring you know how you can be, how you can really simply get to where you want to go.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because I I my key philosophy that I draw from is from Confucian, where life is very simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_00: So let's stop making it complicated.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is perfect.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: Listeners, take take some time and go Google and find Damian Andrews on all of the socials, grab his books because they are really great.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, we do have a book coming up together.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: So when that comes out, we will let you know.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: And with that, thank you so much for listening to the Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight podcast.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Jaclyn Strominger, helping you be unstoppable.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Jaclyn Strominger, and I want to thank you so much for listening to the Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight, influential leaders and their game-changing insights podcast.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: If you are a successful CEO, or leader in your industry, and you have insights you would like to share, we want you to be a guest on this program.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: So please visit glow.com slash podcast.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: And if you have something on this interview and you would like to share the app on social media, screen to find off the quick.