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What to Do When You Feel Defeated with Melinda Emerson · The SmallBizChat with Melinda Emerson

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  Let's just think about how big of an issue is.
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  1st of all, all defeats are temporary.
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  That's the first thing that I want all of you to think about and remember.
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  Defeats are temporary.
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  Valley seasons are temporary.
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  There is no one person that walks around with a permanent blackout following.
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  Right?
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  2, 1, 0, ignition, flips off.
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  Ending small business failure.
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  Welcome to the small biz chat podcast with the number one small business expert, Melinda
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  Emerson.
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  Melinda's goal is to end small business failure.
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  And she'll give you the information you need to succeed and live the life you dream of.
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  Now here's your host, the small Biz chat lady herself, Melinda Emerson.
• 0:52
  Hey, everybody.
• 0:53
  Did you know that there are Some big deals out here.
• 0:56
  And guess what?
• 0:57
  Small Buslady University has one for you too.
• 1:00
  So if you're looking for a Black Friday deal, a small business Saturday deal or a cyber Monday
• 1:05
  deal.
• 1:06
  Here, I have one for you.
• 1:08
  In January, we're gonna be hosting our small business lady virtual one day startup boot
• 1:14
  camp, and you're gonna have the opportunity to join us for just $47.
• 1:18
  That's right.
• 1:18
  We're gonna give you a ticket for $50 off You can get the regular ticket or the VIP ticket.
• 1:23
  All you have to do is head over to smallbizladyuniversity.com forward slash
• 1:28
  startup boot camp and jump on it now.
• 1:31
  This offer will expire November 30th.
• 1:33
  So happy holidays, everybody.
• 1:38
  Hi, everybody.
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  This is Melinda Emerson, the small biz lady, and welcome to another episode of the small biz
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  chat podcast.
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  I'm so excited to be talking to you all today.
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  This is another solo podcast.
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  And today, I'm talking about what to do when you feel defeated.
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  And, you know, I I was struggling with what I wanted to talk about this month on the podcast.
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  And then one of my coaching clients called me, and she literally sounded lower than a snail's
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  belly.
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  And I was like, wow.
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  You know, this is a entrepreneur that has been in business over 20 years.
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  Since I started coaching her, business grew over a $1,000,000 in revenue.
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  And she called me, and she just said, you know, that she basically felt like a failure.
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  And I and I just was astonished by that, but then I had to think about You know, there's so
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  many ways defeat can come for you in a business.
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  You know, launching a business is easy.
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  Sustaining appearances?
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  No.
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  That's hard.
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  And I think that's what people underestimate.
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  And then you've got all these Internet stories of, you know, all these people who over the
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  pandemic started this business and, you know, now they're making $5,000,000 and da da da da.
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  And I'm like, And all this fake y'all, all those people on Instagram are not making the
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  money that they pretend to.
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  But that's not even the point of what I wanna talk to you all about today.
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  We're what I wanna talk about is that, you know, every single entrepreneur has struggles
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  and can have struggles on any day.
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  And and defeat can come to somebody who's been in business 2 months, 2 years, 10 years, 20
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  years, I mean, I've actually got gone through it recently myself, and I'm gonna talk about
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  that towards the end of this sharing.
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  But the first thing I wanna talk about is just, like, all the ways that defeat can come for
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  you.
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  Right?
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  So you could have this awesome webinar campaign buy ads, and then no one shows up.
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  It's like, you know, spend all this money on ads.
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  Maybe money you didn't even have on ads.
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  And then no one shows up to your big webinar, right, or, you know, you do this big sales
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  campaign and, you know, the conversion rates are so low, and you really needed them to
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  convert.
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  Or you just have a potential client that just sends you a nasty gram email that could just
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  ruin your day.
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  Or let's say you had a con You had a verbal agreement for a client to sign a contract.
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  And then when it comes time for them to sign it, they yank it away.
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  They don't do it.
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  Like, all of us have faced these kinds of defeats.
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  And they're rough, especially when you were counting on them, or Should I say when you had
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  already counted what you were gonna do with the money.
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  Right?
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  But I wanna encourage all of you today that defeats are temporary.
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  And so it's really important for you to when a defeat happens, don't feel like a failure feel
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  like you suffered a defeat, and there's a difference.
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  You know?
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  And I also think there's a difference between failure and failing, and I and I've known that
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  I've spoken about this on this podcast previously, but I think that right now, I just
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  really wanna focus on defeat because I think it creeps up on you.
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  And sometimes, you know, it could just come in the form of somebody's harsh criticism or
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  judgment or just feeling like you got lack of support, or, oh, how about the bank turning you
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  down for a loan when you're actually having a great year?
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  Like, those things happen to people 2.
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  And so I don't want anyone who listens to this podcast to get stuck in their, what we call,
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  what, dark, lonely thoughts.
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  I really want to give you all some strategies to to turn that defeat around and keep it in
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  perspective.
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  And so there's really you know, things that I want you guys to to really focus in on when you
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  start feeling this way.
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  You know, Would you regret the decision that you made?
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  My my client that called me, she shared that she hit after they hit a 1,000,000 in revenue
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  last year, They expanded their staff.
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  And then there was a there was a business slowdown.
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  And she felt like a failure because they were having so many casual issues she couldn't pay
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  people, and she was really forced to lay people off.
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  Listen.
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  That happens.
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  And what I wanna say is you gotta be careful because I think sometimes People think a
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  $1,000,000 is a lot of money.
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  And what happens is usually when businesses make their first $1,000,000, they spent 1.2 to
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  make it.
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  So You know, do not get under the false pretense that you are hood rich just because
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  your business finally grossed over a $1,000,000.
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  You still have to perate conservatively and watch your margins.
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  And I think that just might have been what happened to her, but that doesn't make her a
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  failure.
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  That means She just expanded too quickly.
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  She didn't have enough in her pipeline to cover the cash flow.
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  She was gonna need it for the additional staff she was bringing on.
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  That's all.
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  That doesn't mean she's a failure.
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  That doesn't mean you know what I mean?
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  But I think sometimes when it happens because we feel so personally invested in our
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  businesses.
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  Our businesses are our babies.
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  And so when something happens, it's like somebody called your baby ugly.
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  It's like, or somebody hit your kid in school, you wanna fight.
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  Right?
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  You know, so don't go there.
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  Right?
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  Let's just think about how big of an issue is.
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  1st of all, all defeats are temporary.
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  That's the first thing that I want all of you to think about and remember.
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  Defeats are temporary.
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  Valley seasons are temporary.
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  There is no one person that walks around with a permanent black child following.
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  Right?
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  It it is a temporary situation that can be managed and dealt with.
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  And if you've been in business for any period of time, You've dealt with defeats before.
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  So you have to go back to your to your knowledge or your your data, if you will.
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  The other thing is, you know, my favorite movie.
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  My favorite kids movie is The Lion King.
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  And the reason why I love this movie is because when Mufasa comes to Simba, when he was like a
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  teenager, and he says to him, listen.
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  You have to remember who you are.
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  I want to all of you all to sit with that and think about, hey.
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  You know what?
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  There's something really to be said for thinking about who you are.
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  It is important.
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  I also want you to remember your data.
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  Right?
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  You you've been in business 20 years.
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  You built a $1,000,000 business, which is which is rare air.
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  So don't beat yourself up over one bad decision.
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  Right?
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  You don't get to 20 years in business through, like, some magic and get there through
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  consistency.
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  Through providing quality products and services through building great relationships with your
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  customers.
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  So I'm always a big fan of going back and looking at your data, looking at your own
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  receipt.
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  Sometimes you have to remember who you are.
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  Remember what you've accomplished And remember that a lot most people can't do what we do.
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  We're entrepreneurs.
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  We live how most people won't, so we can live how most people can't.
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  And you have to always remember that in your when things happen.
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  Right?
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  So if you're feeling bad about your business, You know, it's important for you to remember
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  your successes in your business.
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  And there's a difference between short term wins and and pleading with the trendy things
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  that happen.
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  And so consistency is what makes you different.
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  From the people who wanna be you, who wanna have a business, a 20 year business.
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  Right?
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  And then you have to think about what is the lesson that you learn from the defeat.
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  Right?
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  So if we're going back to my coaching client for a second, I think we have to think about,
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  okay, she expanded too quickly because she thought her revenues were more than they were.
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  She hired without having cash flow projections on what she needed.
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  To have to keep those people paid.
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  And and and that's a very, very common mistake and one that hopefully some of you are learning
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  from from here, but I think you have to always go back to your existing customers.
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  When things get bad in your business, I'm a big believer that your existing customers can save
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  you if you communicate with them.
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  If you create a great new offer for them, or if you just survey them and find out what they
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  need next, your existing customers are gold.
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  They are a gold mine in your business.
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  And that is a great way to re center yourself.
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  And I also think that you've got to look at your business as it is your business.
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  So if you have to lay people off, you know, it's like when you're on the airplane, they
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  tell you to put the mask on yourself before you can put it on anyone else.
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  Lay people off.
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  Let them collect unemployment.
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  Hopefully, you'll be able to rehire them.
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  But you can't worry about them.
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  You have to worry about you, and that's not selfish.
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  That is what doing what you gotta do to keep your business alive.
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  And I realized that, you know, as an entrepreneur, we hire people that we're close
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  to.
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  We we love our employees.
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  So you're gonna feel immense guilt from having to lay people off.
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  You feel like you let them down, but you rather let them down than let yourself down and lose
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  your entire business trying to keep them.
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  So it's not a selfish decision to lay people off.
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  It is it is something that preferably, hopefully, is temporary.
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  You know, but again, you have to focus on your self talk.
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  You have to make sure that you are giving yourself grace and empathy.
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  And if you've got one of those, inter obnoxious roommates tell you how stupid you are, you
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  know, beating yourself with 10 lashes on your back.
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  No.
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  Do not do that.
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  Instead, Build a mechanism for yourself.
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  Number 1, who are your rocks in your life?
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  Who are the people that you can call that will always cheer you up that will always cheer for
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  you.
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  You know, who what are the things that you can do to to motivate yourself to inspire yourself.
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  I'm a big person that is motivated by music.
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  And whenever I have a day That's rough.
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  I actually have a gospel song that I listen to called My Name is Victory, and I love that song
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  because it reminds me of how much god loves me and how he has already claimed my victory for
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  me And no matter what's going on with me, when I listen to that song, I feel better.
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  I remember who I am.
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  I remember whose I am.
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  And it always helps me get out of a funk or stop worrying about things and instead start
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  praying over a And so I think that we have to remember where all of our power sources are.
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  We have power sources here on earth.
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  We have our friends We have our, you know, fellow entrepreneurs who will help us lick our
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  wounds and tell us it'll be our right But then we also have another power we could look to.
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  If you are a religious person, you already know where your power comes from.
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  You can debate the spirit within you with prayer and meditation.
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  And, you know, prayer is how we talk to god, but meditation, that's how we listen for god to
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  tell us what our next move should be And so I also wanna encourage all of you that we always
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  have that power.
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  You know?
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  So you always have to look at any defeat and think about what can you do about it.
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  Is there another source of capital you can tap into?
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  Is there a line of credit you can apply for?
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  Is there a customer that you can present a new contract to get some capital in the door, ask
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  them to pay you a quarter ahead.
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  I mean, there's always things you can do to try to fix it.
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  Is there can you go live on Facebook or Instagram or LinkedIn to drive traffic to
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  whatever your offer is, whatever your sale is, Yeah.
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  The point is is that whenever you suffer a defeat, you've got to get back hocus on the big
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  picture.
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  Your big picture vision for your business and your life.
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  You can't wallow.
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  Right?
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  You know, so it's really important for you to take the time to, you know, be set, you know,
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  express your frustrations.
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  I'm not saying, you know, stuff it down or don't express Disappointment, but don't live
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  there.
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  Give yourself 5 minutes.
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  Give yourself an hour, and that's it.
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  Then you gotta move on to what is going to be the plan that is going to fix it.
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  And just always remember your big picture goal, your big picture vision for yourself and your
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  life And, really, that should become a daily practice.
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  You really have to think about what is your legacy?
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  What is it that you wanna be known for?
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  How many people have you helped with your product or service?
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  And you really have to think about that because it's about the greater mission It's a not about
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  this one defeat that one day.
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  So you basically have to decide what it's gonna be.
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  You know, Are you gonna continue to feel defeated, or are you gonna transform yourself
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  into someone who solves problems?
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  For your clients and for yourself because, really, this stuff is all about your mindset
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  And do you have an empowered mindset, or do you have a defeated mindset?
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  And if you find yourself with a defeated mindset, What is it that you need to do to fix
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  it?
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  I told you some of my secret things that I do that I don't think should be a secret anymore.
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  I think I should just tell you guys what I do to build myself back up because I think it is
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  important for all of us to have a way to do that because if you run a business, defeat is
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  coming for you.
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  Every day is not sunshine and rainbows.
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  But it's about your coping mechanisms.
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  It's about what are your sources of inspiration?
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  What are your sources of motivation That is how you're going to get through it.
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  So I just wanna let you know that I love you.
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  I'm cheering for you.
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  I want you to win in your business.
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  And I can't wait until next time.
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  I'm Melinda Emerson, the small biz lady, and you are listening to the small biz chat
• 16:32
  podcast.
• 16:32
  I'll leave you with this You never lose in business, either you win or you learn.
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  God bless everybody.
• 16:42
  Hey, everybody.
• 16:42
  Did you know that there are some big deals out here?
• 16:46
  And guess what?
• 16:47
  Small Buslady University has one for you too.
• 16:49
  So if you're looking for a Black Friday deal, a small business Saturday deal, or a cyber Monday
• 16:55
  deal, here I have one for you.
• 16:57
  In January, we're gonna be hosting our small biz lady, virtual 1 day startup boot camp.
• 17:04
  And you're gonna have the opportunity to join us for just $47.
• 17:07
  That's right.
• 17:08
  We're gonna give you a ticket for $50 off.
• 17:10
  You can get the regular ticket or the VIP ticket All you have to do is head over to
• 17:14
  smallbizladyuniversity.com forward slash startup boot camp and jump on it now.
• 17:20
  This offer will expire November 30th.
• 17:23
  So happy holidays, everybody.
• 17:31
  Thanks for listening to the Small Biz chat podcast with Melinda Emerson.
• 17:36
  Subscribe to this podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts, and join us next Wednesday for
• 17:41
  more fantastic information and interviews.
• 17:44
  You can find more sources and small business success strategies by visiting Melinda's
• 17:48
  website 6 see it as your own boss.com.
• 17:52
  Thanks again for listening, and we'll see you next week.