Latest / Pastor John Piper's answers / Improving the Body Without Fixating on Image

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Improving the Body Without Fixating on Image · Pastor John Piper's answers

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  Speaker 1: Well, how do we improve our body shape without getting
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  Speaker 1: fixated on body image. That's a tricky question, and it
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  Speaker 1: comes to us today from an anonymous listener. No name
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  Speaker 1: is given on this email. Pastor John, Hello, thank you
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  Speaker 1: for faithfully teaching God's word. I want to provide some
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  Speaker 1: context for my question. I used to be obsessed with
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  Speaker 1: the gem and my appearance, always striving to look better
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  Speaker 1: and lift more. I was never satisfied with how I looked,
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  Speaker 1: and I became consumed by it. However, after injuring my
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  Speaker 1: knee and taking a break, I realized how much this
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  Speaker 1: obsession had controlled me. The injury helped me refocus on
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  Speaker 1: treating my body better and moving in ways that support
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  Speaker 1: my health rather than being anxious about my physical appearance. Now,
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  Speaker 1: I go to the gym about two to three times
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  Speaker 1: a week with my mom, not to obsess over my looks,
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  Speaker 1: but to pursue overall health and wellness. My question is
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  Speaker 1: is it sinful to enjoy how I look? As I
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  Speaker 1: continue this healthy routine. I know it's good to be healthy,
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  Speaker 1: as it gives me more energy and makes me feel
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  Speaker 1: better day by day. But I don't want to fall
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  Speaker 1: back into obsession or dishonor God with my focus, I
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  Speaker 1: understand he should be first in all things, including my fitness.
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  Speaker 1: But if I notice my body changing, is that wrong?
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  Speaker 1: And if so, how can I turn away from that?
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  Speaker 2: Well, it's interesting to me, Tony, that I cannot tell
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  Speaker 2: from this question whether this is a man or a woman.
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  Speaker 2: And probably that's a good thing, since I can easily
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  Speaker 2: imagine it being either. I really can so, he or
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  Speaker 2: she asks, And here's the question. My question is is
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  Speaker 2: it sinful to enjoy how I look? As I continue
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  Speaker 2: this healthy routine? If I notice my body changing, presumably
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  Speaker 2: in a good way, is that wrong? If so, how
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  Speaker 2: can I turn away from that? It is significant, I think,
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  Speaker 2: isn't it that even in the world, the god ignoring,
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  Speaker 2: self exalting world, the world knows there's a problem with
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  Speaker 2: the wrong kind of love for one's self and one's appearance.
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  Speaker 2: And we know that the world feels that way because
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  Speaker 2: it has created the word narcissism, right, I mean, here's
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  Speaker 2: the Google definition. Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by
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  Speaker 2: an excessive preoccupation with one's self, a grand sense of
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  Speaker 2: self importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a
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  Speaker 2: need for excessive admiration end quote, that would include I
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  Speaker 2: think admiration for preoccupation with one's body, one's physical appearance. Now,
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  Speaker 2: I'm not saying this person who asked this question is
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  Speaker 2: a narcissist, not at all. I'm not saying that. What
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  Speaker 2: I'm saying is that this is the sort of issue
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  Speaker 2: that is very hard to put in a positive light,
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  Speaker 2: even among the world people. What I mean is, even
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  Speaker 2: if someone said all the right things biblically, experientially, spiritually
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  Speaker 2: in an article entitled why I notice my body and
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  Speaker 2: like the way it looks, that article is going to
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  Speaker 2: sound to almost everybody like there's something off. Why are
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  Speaker 2: you writing an article entitled why I notice my body
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  Speaker 2: and light the way it looks? Why are you writing
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  Speaker 2: that there's something off? I think the reason is because
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  Speaker 2: the mindset and the intuitions concerning one's own physical appearance
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  Speaker 2: should be an echo of the scripture rather than something
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  Speaker 2: the scripture deals with as a direct shout into the valley.
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  Speaker 2: And so when you treat an echo as part of
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  Speaker 2: the original shout, it starts to sound weird or awkward. Okay,
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  Speaker 2: So that's my take on why is it's hard to
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  Speaker 2: talk about this, So what should I say? I think
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  Speaker 2: what might be helpful is to suggest that there may
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  Speaker 2: be a better way to talk about our appearance that
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  Speaker 2: doesn't involve saying I enjoy how I look or is
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  Speaker 2: it okay to notice how I look, even though both
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  Speaker 2: of those sentences might be totally innocent. In general, that
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  Speaker 2: way of talking is going to go hand in hand
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  Speaker 2: with a perception may not be a reality, but a
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  Speaker 2: perception that this person is a little excessively concerned about
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  Speaker 2: personal appearance, even if that's not true true. So here
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  Speaker 2: a few suggests. Make it your aim in how you
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  Speaker 2: dress and speak and act in public. Make it your
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  Speaker 2: aim to be present as a person interested in others,
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  Speaker 2: rather than present as an appearance concerned about how you
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  Speaker 2: are seen. Let's be more concerned about the health and
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  Speaker 2: beauty and attractiveness of our personhood than of our body.
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  Speaker 2: That's the overwhelming emphasis of the Bible. Second, let's seek
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  Speaker 2: to dress and act and speak in public in a
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  Speaker 2: way that puts no stumbling block in another person's way
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  Speaker 2: concerning Christ or the Gospel or the Church, and that
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  Speaker 2: would imply immodesty should be avoided. That is, anything that
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  Speaker 2: would communicate please look at my skin, Please look at
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  Speaker 2: my shape. There are clothes that say, loud and clear,
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  Speaker 2: look at me, and look at me sexually. This aim
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  Speaker 2: of not being a stumbling block would also imply avoiding
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  Speaker 2: slovenliness or being unclean or unkempt, where people expect us
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  Speaker 2: to be neat and clean. It would imply avoiding styles that,
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  Speaker 2: either because they're avant garde or old fashioned, stand out
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  Speaker 2: and get praise or criticism. We simply do not want
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  Speaker 2: our physical appearance to be the issue, whether stylish or frumpy.
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  Speaker 2: I just don't want to stick out as whoa how
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  Speaker 2: stylish or WHOA how weird and frumpy. We want what
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  Speaker 2: we say, what we do, what we think, what we feel,
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  Speaker 2: how we treat people to be the main effect of
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  Speaker 2: our presence, not the way we look. And there's a
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  Speaker 2: way to dress, and there's a way of fitness that
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  Speaker 2: says that or says the opposite. It's pretty obvious today.
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  Speaker 2: I think that, from the President of the United States
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  Speaker 2: to the news anchor to the movie star, that men
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  Speaker 2: care as much about their hair and their complexion and
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  Speaker 2: their shape as women do. But I do think that
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  Speaker 2: history and experience and scripture all suggest that God, in
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  Speaker 2: a natural and good way, has put it in the
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  Speaker 2: feminine psyche to want to appear beautiful or pleasing to
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  Speaker 2: the eye. Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel Esther, all of them describe
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  Speaker 2: as beautiful women in a good way, no criticism. My
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  Speaker 2: wife showed me this early on in our marriage fifty
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  Speaker 2: five years ago, in the first year. Women regularly comment
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  Speaker 2: on each other's appearance, far more than men do. She said,
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  Speaker 2: you do know, don't you, that most women dress for women,
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  Speaker 2: not for men. I said, no, I did not know that.
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  Speaker 2: So I don't want to say that this God given
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  Speaker 2: aspect of being feminine has to be vain or seductive.
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  Speaker 2: It doesn't. I have seen too many godly, modest women
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  Speaker 2: dress very attractively. And by attractive, I do not mean
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  Speaker 2: attractive to the lustful eye, but an eye that rejoices
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  Speaker 2: in the beauty of modest stylishness appropriate to the occasion.
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  Speaker 2: This is what mothers should be teach their daughters. Oh please,
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  Speaker 2: This is what mothers should be teaching their daughters, because
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  Speaker 2: if they don't, the world will convince the daughters there's
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  Speaker 2: only one way to be attractive, namely the way the
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  Speaker 2: world does it, which is not true. When Proverb's eleven
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  Speaker 2: twenty two says, like a gold ring in a pig
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  Speaker 2: snout is a beautiful woman without discretion, The implication is
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  Speaker 2: a gold ring is a good thing. It doesn't belong
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  Speaker 2: in a pig snout. In other words, a woman's beauty
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  Speaker 2: is good and it should go hand in hand with
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  Speaker 2: discretion and wisdom and modesty and the beauty of character
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  Speaker 2: and heart and faith. So if I were to make
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  Speaker 2: up my own proverb about the average woman, and we
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  Speaker 2: have to admit it, most of us are average, right,
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  Speaker 2: that's what average means.
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  Speaker 1: That's true.
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  Speaker 2: Most people are not beautiful, most people are not handsome.
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  Speaker 2: We're just average. So how do you make up a
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  Speaker 2: proverb for the average woman? I would say that it
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  Speaker 2: would go something like this. A wooden ring, and I
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  Speaker 2: know a lot of people have wooden wedding rings. A
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  Speaker 2: wooden ring in a setting of brass and gold is
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  Speaker 2: like a woman of average appearance with a character of
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  Speaker 2: strength and beauty. I like that. If that's who you are,
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  Speaker 2: or the corresponding man, be thankful, do your exercises, eat right,
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  Speaker 2: dress simply, and then forget about yourself in the service
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  Speaker 2: of others. For Jesus' sake.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, while physical beauty is good and God given, Christians
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  Speaker 1: should pursue modesty, character, and love for others over self focus,
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  Speaker 1: aiming to reflect biblical wisdom and avoid the dead end
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  Speaker 1: of vanity. Very good. We've talked a lot about fitness.
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  Speaker 1: How does Pastor John maintain his fitness routine? What is
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  Speaker 1: that routine? Can asceticism contribute to christ holiness? How does
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  Speaker 1: physical exercise benefit Christian spiritually? How does exercise improve mental
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  Speaker 1: health and ministry? How does self obsession limit our spiritual freedom?
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  Speaker 1: All of those kinds of issues we've looked at, and
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  Speaker 1: if you want to see my digestive those episodes that
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  Speaker 1: we've covered here in the Aspestor John podcast, see the
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  Speaker 1: Aspestodon book on that section called on Gems, Exercise and
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  Speaker 1: Body Image on pages two forty seven to two fifty four. Well,
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  Speaker 1: vanity is a killer, and so is impatience. Impatience is
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  Speaker 1: a killer too. Pastor John sounds the warning next time
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  Speaker 1: that if we will no longer forgive as we have
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  Speaker 1: been forgiven, if we will no longer return good for evil,
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  Speaker 1: if we will no longer do good, if we will
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  Speaker 1: no longer endure the hardships of this life. Without giving
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  Speaker 1: up on Christ, we will be lost the apostasy of patience.
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  Speaker 1: That's next time. I'm Tony Ranky. Will see you on Monday.