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Amberly Lago: Triumph Over Trauma | E87 · In Search Of Excellence

• 0:00
  Amberly Lago: After my accident, I was still in so much pain and I just thought, well, this is just part of it. I'll never forget a friend of mine came over and he was like, why is one of your legs a different color than the other leg? I think that we all have resilience within us. And it's just our ability to tap into that so we can, you know, decide to take action and thrive. So it's so important to invest in yourself by connecting with the right people, whether that's hiring a coach or getting into the right rooms and conferences.
• 0:35
  Randall Kaplan: My guest today as Amber Lee Lago, when Amber was 38 years old, she was hit by an SUV while riding her Harley Davidson motorcycle, thrown 30 feet onto the pavement, narrowly bled to death and only survived because a good Samaritan saw our accident, rushed over and tied a tourniquet around her leg. She went into a coma when she woke up for it, she learned that she had a 1% chance of saving her leg from being amputated, and then had 34 surgeries to save her leg from being amputated. If that wasn't enough, after accident, she was diagnosed with an incurable nerve disease.
• 1:08
  Randall Kaplan: tubbed the suicide disease, lost your business fell into a deep depression and became an alcoholic. Today, Amber Lee is a peak performance coach TEDx speaker, top 1% podcast host motivational speaker and a leading expert in the field of resilience, transformation, and health and wellness. She is also the best selling author of the book True Grit and grace, and is also the founder of unstoppable Life Mastermind. Amberley. You have an incredible story and it's a true pleasure to have you on my show. Welcome to a Search of Excellence.
• 1:44
  Amberly Lago: Oh, my goodness, thank you so much. And thank you for that introduction. I think that that introduction basically shows anybody that you can hit roadblocks and rock bottom and still climb out of it and have a thriving life. And so thank you so much for that introduction.
• 2:06
  Randall Kaplan: You're born and raised in Texas. You're a dancer from a young age and your mom pushed you hard on the dance front to the point where your toes would often be bleeding after practice. He tells us about the influence your mom had on your life and her three mottos. Get her done, suck it up and hide. You're crazy to be a lady and in today's world, where parenting styles are very different than they were 20 years ago. Is this what parents should be telling their kids?
• 2:31
  Randall Kaplan: Well,
• 2:32
  Amberly Lago: that's such a great question. First of all, actually, my mom wasn't my dance teacher but she was such an amazing mom and I think she she is an amazing mom. And I think she put me into dance class because she thought it was girly thing to do because I was such a tomboy. And I had a dance instructor who I'm still in contact with to this day her name's Jackie, Miss Miss Jackie, we call her Miss Jackie. We always say Miss Miss Jackie. And yeah, she was really hard on me.
• 3:07
  Amberly Lago: But also Yeah, growing up in Texas where we had sayings, like, you know, I mean, I remember, you know, having this frizzy curly hair and my mom trying to brush it out and say, you know, I'd be crying from her brushing my curls out and she'd say it hurts to be pretty. And in church, her pinching me if I ever said anything, or did anything and she's like, hydro crazy. And baby lady, you know.
• 3:29
  Amberly Lago: So those things. And my dance teacher was always like, keep going, you need to push through the pain, just keep going suck it up, like cowgirl up. And so I grew up with a lot of those sayings. And I think that it is important. I mean, I've got two children of my own. I've got a daughter who is actually just turned 27. And she's going she's in medical school at Yale. And I have a sophomore in high school here and he Texas, and she is got a lot of grit. She's a horseback rider, she gets thrown off that horse actually just happened yesterday, and gets back on. And so I think it's really important to instill the grit and the resilience in our children. But I think that it's not so good to steal this idea of grit. That means suck it up.
• 4:25
  Amberly Lago: I think that it's grit with connection and community is where we find resilience and asking for help. And that's something that didn't really know how to do or, or what to do, and it's changed my life.
• 4:43
  Amberly Lago: And so that's what I've learned along my journey is like it's not about sucking it up and stuffing it down because those feelings will eventually have to rise to the surface and we heal what we reveal. We're
• 4:56
  Randall Kaplan: going to get to your dancing of running hobbies in a minute but before redo. Can you tell us where you were like as a kid in high school? Were you one of those always positive and optimistic people who always smiled and had a lot of friends and who thought their future was bright, and that the world is your oyster?
• 5:13
  Amberly Lago: Yes, absolutely.
• 5:13
  Amberly Lago: And I, I think that when you're going through a hard time because as a child, I didn't have the I mean, most of us don't have the perfect childhood. Let's face it. We have parents that get divorced.
• 5:34
  Amberly Lago: We, a lot of people suffer physical sexual abuse. I experienced both sexual abuse from my stepfather after my parents divorced, physical abuse from my older brother. And what I did, I think it's so so important for parents to know that children need an outlet because I think that me having an outlet saved my life. I really do. And so my outlet was dance, and athleticism. And I dove deep into what can I do that makes me feel better. And so I didn't really feel safe at home. It was scary and predictable. And so what I did was I focused on what I could do, and that was get great grades in school. I become a high achiever. I became an honor roll student, I was Miss Greenville High School. I became I was in the drill team. I choreographed for the drill team I choreographed for acapella, I choreographed for the drama team I choreographed for, I mean, anything that had to do with anything about if they needed something choreographed, I was the girl. And not only for that, it was like other schools too. I became an entrepreneur. And I started coming up with with dance routines that I could then sell to drill teams at other Texas schools, because drill team is huge in Texas. I don't know if any of y'all are listening or like what is drill team. Drill Team is huge in Texas. And it's like halftime at football games, when you come out and you do a kick line and you do a dance routine. And so I became the choreographer. I work I ended up working for jobs. By the time I was a senior in high school, I had four steady jobs, and I was able to save up enough money. Because I knew I wanted to get out of there, move to LA and make something in my life.
• 7:38
  Amberly Lago: And the only way I was going to do that was if I worked. And I saved up the money myself. And I did it myself. And so I think it's really important for us to listen to our children and be there for our children, but not enable them and not give them everything like show the importance of of working for something which you know what, Randall, I'm not so good at like, you know, I got two daughters. And I'm like, Man, I want them to have everything that I didn't have. I want to give it to them. Because I had to work so hard now it's so stressed out. And there's like a fine line between Okay, what do you give them? And what do you make them work for? But
• 8:25
  Randall Kaplan: the advent of technology changes things for all of us, especially in many cases for people with physical disabilities. And the story that you just told is a great one that happens in so many other areas of our lives as well.
• 8:40
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah,
• 8:40
  Amberly Lago: well, I think our I think your son and my daughter have to meet. My daughter is a car fanatic. She literally text me new cars that she wants to build, or that she wants. Every day this morning. It was some fancy Porsche or something. And I'm like, yeah, we'll get right on that. Ruby. Yeah, won't you get a job and then we'll talk about building your whatever it is car that you want to build.
• 9:08
  Amberly Lago: But I love that she is passionate about cars, like she knows exactly. I think it's so important for kids to have these passions where they can express themselves and they can like look in and research and she's so passionate about like, she knows exactly how fast the car from can go from, you know, she'll be like, Oh, this car can go from zero to 60 and 1.2 seconds or whatever. I'm like, where do you how's this in your head? You know, but I'm glad that she's passionate about it.
• 9:48
  Randall Kaplan: Let's talk about the importance of mentors in our life you had to your dance coach and your track coach, and when you were running track and the Texas 100 degree heat, huge humidity there. You would often run around the track and you would throw up. And then you would continue to run around the track. What lessons did your mentors teach you, when you were growing up? And how do they affect your life? And do we need mentors to be successful in our lives?
• 10:16
  Amberly Lago: Absolutely, we need mentors, I still I've had a mentor for everything that I've done in my life. And I think that if you want to Tom collapse your goals, if you want to get from point A to point B faster, you need a mentor, you need somebody that you can truly trust, but who has been there and done the things that you want to do, and they have succeeded or gotten to the other side, or they have that experience? There's a lot of I think, I don't know what you think. But I think there's a lot of people out there that say that they're experts in something. But I think that it's up to us to really do the research and find out and really seek counsel and not opinion. So what I mean by that is like, opinion is like, for instance, when I wanted to write my book, I was like, you know, I think I want to read a book. And I told some family members and close friends and they were like, You're crazy. You don't own a computer, you're the fitness girl, you don't have a college education, you need to stick to the fitness stuff. And when I went to a that was their opinion, because they had never written a book. So how would they be able to advise me on next steps to write a book, when I went to someone who had published 76 books, he's like, I think it's a great idea. This is what you'll need to do, and do this, this and this, and you're gonna get it done. And I thought, that is counsel. And so I hired him to be my mentor for a while. And I say hired because there are some people that are mentors that will do it, and they'll just mentor you, and they don't charge you. And I've had coaches that I've paid, and I've been a part of masterminds, I think that whatever you know, you can find the value, it will be so beneficial. And it can, can really, in the long run, help you to waste money, because without a mentor, I wasted a lot of money, because I was just trying to figure things out on my own. But I was so blessed in the very beginning. I was so blessed to have a dance teacher and a track coach who at the time, I was like, Man, why are they so hard on me, they're harder on me than they are with anybody else on the dance company are on the track team.
• 12:45
  Amberly Lago: And why is the coach every track mate, she's makes me sit in the front of the bus with her. And she sits there and talks to me every what a blessing that was, I didn't realize it at the time.
• 12:59
  Amberly Lago: The reason my dance teacher was hard on me is because she knew I had potential and she wanted to push me to my limits past my limits to keep going forward.
• 13:07
  Amberly Lago: She knew I had an Emmy, my track coach, she knew, she was like, Hey, we're depending on you to get us to district. And she would train me mentally and physically and have me sit at the front of the bus with her.
• 13:25
  Amberly Lago: And at the time, I didn't realize just how blessed I was looking back, I know how blessed I was. And so now to this day, when I have a mentor that's willing to take 10 minutes of their time with me and answer a question or hop on a call or give me some input or advice or make an introduction or connection. I know what a blessing that is. I think we all need mentors in our life.
• 14:47
  Randall Kaplan: One of the most enjoyable things in my life. And it's part of the inspiration for my podcast is being able to mentor a lot of students, and also people from in their careers from recent college graduates to professional athletes with 100 million dollar contracts. And I love giving back. It's fun for me. And not only am I giving back, but I'm giving back to the people who gave me a chance and mentored me along the way. And I think it's important to pay it forward as well. I would not be the same person as I am today. Or the same professional that I am today without the mentors that I've had. I think it's critical.
• 15:22
  Randall Kaplan: I agree with you. 100%
• 15:25
  Amberly Lago: Oh, yeah. 100% I think mentors are just and and you know what, that's why I love doing what I do. I would say I get to do some amazing things like I am really blessed like sometimes I go wow, I can't believe I get paid to do some of the things that I do like speaking all across the country at events where I'm like I would I mean I I just love being there. But the thing that I love the most is getting to be a mentor and guide several women in my unstoppable Life Mastermind because I want to show them, hey, this is the mistake I did that cost me a lot of money. Don't do that. And this is what you can do that will help you get to point A to point B faster. And this is the connection that I can make for you. And you know, just just this past weekend, we had an in person meetup where all these ladies gathered in my house, which was a big deal for my husband because he's very private, and he doesn't like people over but he knows how much I love these women. And he was like, I know you love these women, so of course ya have them over. But when when you can come together with like minded people, and you can have a mentor that can guide you. It is life changing. It's career changing. It is it's unbelievable.
• 16:52
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• 17:28
  Randall Kaplan: And are they all is cracked up as they they say they are the one that I went to promised a whole bunch of things that ended up for me being a couple of successful guys trying to sell investments to a large group of people. Oh,
• 17:46
  Amberly Lago: see, I am so glad you're bringing this up. Because I've been to some I've wasted a lot of money on some to like 1000s and 1000s of dollars. And that's why what is
• 18:01
  Randall Kaplan: it tell? Tell our viewers and listeners what what it is. Okay.
• 18:07
  Amberly Lago: So a mastermind is supposed to be a small group of like minded people that help brainstorm, collaborate and guide each other. And, you know, to really level up their life and their business. To me, a mastermind is not, you know, hundreds of people, I guess some people think it is, but to me, a mastermind, I'll give you my definition of a mastermind, because I spent a lot of wasted.
• 18:39
  Amberly Lago: No, I won't say wasted because I learned a lot of lessons. And it's it inspired me to really develop the mastermind that I have. But, you know, I spent 1000s on one mastermind where they were like, Yeah, this is high level female entrepreneurs, blah, blah, blah. They're just, you know, the elite. And I get on the first zoom, and it's over 150 people on zoom of everyone that this lady has ever coached.
• 19:15
  Amberly Lago: And there were beginning coaches, there were people that didn't even have social media yet didn't even have a website.
• 19:23
  Amberly Lago: And look, we all start from somewhere. And I appreciate that I believe me, I appreciate access started from nothing and had to build my way up. But when you're paying 1000s, and you're being told that you're going to be put in a group with people who are already to that level, they actually already have their website, they have their social media, they have a following.
• 19:45
  Amberly Lago: They have big dreams, goals, plans, and you get on at something different. That was the last time I went to one meeting never went back. Another one I spent $50,000 on if the it was $50,000.
• 20:01
  Randall Kaplan: And so people know what we're talking about.
• 20:03
  Randall Kaplan: These are basically there's, I guess I call it the captain, originator Founder CEO for lack of a better person who creates a mastermind they have some following. They're well known as an area they could be a leadership person. They could have written five books, they could be talking about entrepreneurship, real estate, whatever the topic is successful women successful men, and they invite people to a location and charge them lots of money to hear them speak and a group of successful like minded people speaking so if it's a real estate mastermind, you've got four or five or six successful people who are all talking but you pay to go and some of these are very expensive. I mean$50,000 is a ton of money. And I'm sure the people All who are producing that make a lot of money. I mean, you host a mastermind for 100 people, and you charge $100,000 Each and people do this. And there's lots of these out there, that person is making $10 million last whatever they're spending to produce the event. And maybe they have Mike Tyson come in and speak or some athlete or Steph Curry. But these are very profitable gatherings that a lot of people, they're they're everywhere. And as you get into the self help movement, there, they're all over the place. So sorry, I just wanted
• 21:30
  Amberly Lago: and they make promises, and they make promises and and this is the thing that gets me is they over promise and under deliver. And so for me, the most important thing for me is integrity and honesty, like trust is a big thing. My name is like what I say I've worked hard to to build the brand that I have with the trust. And so I thought when I have a mastermind, I'm not going to do that. Like, I just got off a call yesterday where I told the person I was like, hey, yeah, you get your your monthly coaching session, and you get your weekly, you know, zoom, coaching sessions with the group, I was like, but you have my number. I was like, call me text me, if you need me. That's why I'm there. I'm there for you. It's not because I care about you. And so that was a big difference for me is like, I want to be there for them. But then I also teach them to have experts come in, and then I put them on a stage and I shine the light on them. So I get them an opportunity to be seen on stage.
• 22:48
  Randall Kaplan: So what's the name of your mastermind? How do they find it? And how much does it cost?
• 22:53
  Amberly Lago: It's called the unstoppable Life Mastermind. And you can find it at actually go to true written grace.com. You can find all of my events at Amberley lago.com forward slash events. But yeah, you can apply to be in the mastermind. And I actually like jump on a call with people to see if you know how I can help and if if it's a good fit. And people are always so surprised when they're like, oh my gosh, it's really you getting on the call? And I'm like, Well, yeah, because I want to see if you're a good fit.
• 23:28
  Amberly Lago: Because we're going to be family, we're basically going to be together a whole lot. So I want to make sure our energy matches, and it's a good fit.
• 23:39
  Amberly Lago: And so I have to tell you something funny, I actually launched the unstoppable Life Mastermind I will never forget this because it was March 16 2020. And we were in LA. And you know, being in LA like the 14th 15th. Everybody was kind of going crazy and 2020 and like, Oops, things are starting to close down. And it was my birthday on March 16. And Johnny, my husband was like, Oh, well already called the restaurant and they're gonna be open. And I said, Johnny, I think things are starting to close down. Those No, no, I called them. It's confirmed.
• 24:15
  Amberly Lago: We're going to dinner. We were going to the sunset room, you know, resume? Yes. That love that place. Anyway, wake up the next day. All the gyms are closed, all the restaurants are closed. And I was like, Oh, I am launching something called the unstoppable Life Mastermind and the world has basically stopped.
• 24:37
  Amberly Lago: And my husband was like, you can't launch that the world has shut down. And I was like, No, I'm not stopping. I'm launching it. And I did it. And it has grown and grown. And now we do bigger events annually. And so, you know, there are ways to be unstoppable. And I think the secret to that is when you have a community that can you can connect with and you can come together with and you can do it together.
• 25:07
  Randall Kaplan: I think that's great. You have your own mastermind. I don't have a mastermind yet. I will have one at some point in the future. I do do a lot of coaching and I've always done it, gratuitously. To give back I have had a number of people reach out to me, podcast listeners, social media followers, well, I coach them on a personal basis. I've done it, it does cost a lot of money.
• 25:27
  Randall Kaplan: It's been worth it for all of my my mentees, but I think it's great. It's another way to give back. I'm also going to be similar to you doing some paid corporate speaking, starting in q1 of next year that I'm super excited about bringing my message to more people and helping corporations. Think about new ways to prepare and succeed but we'll talk about that. A little later. Awesome.
• 25:53
  Randall Kaplan: I'm very excited about it.
• 25:56
  Amberly Lago: Congratulations.
• 25:56
  Amberly Lago: That is awesome. Thank
• 25:59
  Randall Kaplan: you. Let's go back to fitness and take us back to save money to move out to LA, you became a trainer, you started training people to become trainers and then you tore your meniscus. Can you just walk us through? What happened?
• 26:14
  Randall Kaplan: And how important is it for us to be in shape. So when something does go wrong, and I'm not talking about getting hit on your motorcycle, but I'm talking about a knee injury or an arm injury, you think about Patrick mahomes I don't know if you saw the special on Netflix about quarterbacks are and Kirk Cousins what they do, who unfortunately, just tore his ACL. But being in shape really matters. It helps when things go wrong physically to your body.
• 26:40
  Randall Kaplan: You You did some amazing things to the point where you didn't even need knee surgery anymore.
• 26:47
  Amberly Lago: Yeah, well, you know what, it's really hard when your whole identity is caught up in your physicality. I mean, I my whole identity. From the time I was young, was you know, I started, like I said, started working at age 13, started teaching dance. And then I was doing modeling, and was getting booked as a dancer. And actually my biggest fear was doing something to like, blow out money and not be able to dance.
• 27:18
  Amberly Lago: And sure enough, that's what happened. And I was scheduled to have knee surgery. And I started going to the gym and rehabbing myself, I didn't really know what I was doing. But I was just doing what I could to try to get stronger. Like I didn't have the money or, or insurance to hire somebody to help me I was like living on my own in LA. But I noticed that the more I went to the gym, the better I felt not just physically, but mentally as well. And lo and behold, my knee felt better. And I called I cancelled my meniscus surgery, and I never had that meniscus surgery. And I thought, wow, you know, if I can help myself and do this, for me, imagine all the other people that I could help.
• 28:11
  Amberly Lago: And I think because I had started, I've always loved working with people, I've always loved helping people and started teaching dance at a young age, then I thought, well, maybe I could get certified to be a trainer. And so I went to school got certified to be a trainer and I started training clients.
• 28:28
  Amberly Lago: And then I loved it so much. I thought you know what other people can do this, let me show other people how to do this. And so I started a whole six week training course where I did six weeks worth of training, where I helped people understand everything they needed to know to get certified to be a trainer. And then six weeks of them shadowing me on the gym floor to learn how to be a trainer on the gym floor, but and then six weeks of me teaching them how to run their business as a trainer. But also, I was able to pick from those people who took my course the best of the best that were taking the course. And I was like oh yeah, for sure want said I want Shannon, I want Greg, I want them to work for me, because they're great trainers.
• 29:22
  Amberly Lago: They're great people, they're, they're their go getters. And so by having this course and helping other people to become trainers, it was wonderful. And I could help people, you know, get certified. But then I could also take the people that I felt were the best. And I could use them employ them to start working with me and we built a team that way. You
• 29:48
  Randall Kaplan: became a successful trainer, things were going well, you're in LA for 20 years. Enjoying yourself. Tell us about the day you were hit and thrown on your motorcycle exactly what happened. And can you also tell us what you remembered at that exact moment about what your grandfather had told you many years earlier in your life as you're lying on the pavement, potentially facing death?
• 30:15
  Amberly Lago: Well, yeah, and you know, in fact, actually, I remember leaving the gym was a holiday weekend and my friend Tina, who I hadn't seen in years and she just came to visit me here in Texas and she was the last person that I saw as I was getting on my motorcycle. I remember putting my helmet on and she looked at me across the parking lot. She said, Be careful. And I said oh, we'll and I you know jumped on my Harley and I'm cruising down Ventura Boulevard and as a motorcyclists you learn to drive defensively. meaning that you are looking to make sure that other people see you and so you can stay out of danger. And I remember seeing this one guy that was stopped ready to make a left turn on to Ventura and I thought, okay, he sees me. And then he punched it out of the driveway and I thought, Oh, well, he doesn't see me and it was too late. I didn't have any other choice but to just like, try to jump off my let go my clutch tried to jump off my bike. I was T boned, thrown 30 feet and I was sliding across the asphalt which seemed like forever. And when I finally came to a stop, I looked down and my leg was just crumbled into pieces. I didn't realize it at the time. But my, the reason there was so much blood is my, my femoral artery was actually severed. And luckily, you know, I had a guardian angel guy that came over and make it he made a tourniquet on my leg right away, he ripped off his belt and made a tourniquet on my leg. And people weren't rushing over to me, though. They were looking at me when Lady fainted. And in that moment, I was screaming, and I did not want to let go of my leg because I was afraid it would actually fall off of my body. I felt like my legs were the only thing holding my leg on. And one of the first things I thought actually was, Wow, this can't be good. I might have to train clients on crutches. So even, yeah, even in this moment, I was like, Okay, how am I going to keep working? Like, how am I going to train my clients? What am I going to do? And that was one of my first thoughts was, I might have to train clients on crutches for a while. And then, you know, rush to the hospital, put in induced coma, wake up from a coma, and I learned I've got a 1% chance of saving my leg from amputation. And I'm like, Okay, well, great. There's a 1% chance, then you're saying there's a chance, then let's find a doctor who's going to take that 1% chance with me.
• 32:49
  Amberly Lago: Thanks for telling me there's a chance. And I asked for my phone. Like immediately when I got out of a coma. I asked for my phone because I was calling clients being trans ported from one ICU unit to another hospital. And I was on the phone with clients assuring them. Hey, I might be in ICU right now. But I'm gonna get out of here and third quarter we are going to finish strong. Don't you worry, you know what I mean? It was like, such a like, I don't know, like, if that's an entrepreneurial mindset, or just freaking crazy, or, or what, but those were the things going through my head was, how can I keep my business running? How because to me, saving my leg.
• 33:35
  Amberly Lago: Saving my business was just as important as saving my leg. And so I've come to some hard realizations of our health is the most important thing, you know, and I had a good friend of mine tell me she goes and really you push yourself so hard. And your impact is only as strong as you are healthy. And that really got me so now it's like, okay, I need to make sure I'm healthy.
• 34:04
  Amberly Lago: I'm taking care of myself mentally, spiritually, physically, so I can help other people and take care of other people. But I think also in that moment, being able to have a purpose and be of service to others when I was struggling through surgery after surgery, which seemed it ended up being 34 surgeries in total. That purpose is what helped me pull through some of the hardest times.
• 34:30
  Randall Kaplan: Did you think as you were laying on that pavement, or you saw the blood that you may die?
• 34:38
  Amberly Lago: I didn't think I was gonna die until I mean, I was in extreme pain. I've had two babies with like, I had my first child, not even a Tylenol, like all natural, like my
• 34:52
  Randall Kaplan: wife did that to my wife did that too. I've it's, it's unbelievable. So I didn't feel it, but I saw it and I heard it. It was crazy.
• 35:05
  Amberly Lago: Yeah, and that was a piece of cake compared to the pain that I experienced laying in the middle of the road on Ventura Boulevard. And I did not really think I was gonna die. I was like in such survival mode, I think. But when I thought I was going to die actually is when I got to the hospital. And the ER room was completely chaotic. And my husband being a cop, News travels fast and the police, the brotherhood and sisterhood of the police force and so the whole er was filled with cops and I heard this crying like I'd never heard before and I realized it was my husband now he's a big strong guy. I've never seen him cry.
• 35:49
  Amberly Lago: And he was crying. And in that moment, I thought, oh my god, I think I might be dying. And I yelled across the room, I said, Honey, I need you to get over here and be strong for me.
• 36:03
  Amberly Lago: Because in that moment, I didn't know, like if I was going to live, and I needed to know, if I did not survive, that he was going to be able to pull it together for our two daughters.
• 36:15
  Amberly Lago: That's
• 36:19
  Randall Kaplan: crazy. So you said before that you remembered as you're lying on a payment, something that your grandfather had said about a shovel? What was that? Well,
• 36:28
  Amberly Lago: I think that it's something my grandfather was such an incredible man, he used to say, you got a shovel in your hand, you can lean on and pray for a hole or you can start digging. And that was his way of saying, yes, it's important to pray. And it's important to, you know, like, there's so many people out there like just manifest, just think about it, put it on your vision board. And my grandfather was old school.
• 36:56
  Amberly Lago: He's like, Yeah, you can pray about it. But no, you got to work for it, too. So take the action. And so I knew my whole life, and especially through this accident, like, if I wanted to learn to walk again, if I was going to work again, if I was going to have the life that I always imagined that I was going to have to dig deep and work for it.
• 37:17
  Randall Kaplan: This episode of In Search of Excellence is brought to you by sandy.com. s a n d e.com. We're a Yelp for beaches and have created the world's most comprehensive beach resource by catalog the more than 100 categories of information for every beach in the world, more than 100,000 beaches and 212 countries.
• 37:34
  Randall Kaplan: sandy.com provides beach goers around the world with detailed comprehensive and easy to use information to help them plan their perfect beach getaway at home and abroad. And to make sure you're never disappointed by a beach visit again, plan the perfect beach trip today by visiting sandy.com. That's www.sand.com. The link is in our show notes. Stay Sandy, my friends. There's a great part of the story which you haven't talked about that much in some of the podcasts you've done, but there was a good Samaritan that came over and saved your life.
• 38:10
  Randall Kaplan: And when I was reading that I thought about this so many times, because there's so many stories about bad things happening to people. And people just watch. Right? In today's day and
• 38:22
  Amberly Lago: age, they don't worry especially now right and in in LA they don't first of all, they don't want
• 38:26
  Randall Kaplan: to get sued.
• 38:26
  Randall Kaplan: They think someone else has got this. They're in shock. They don't want to be bothered and and they don't know what to do.
• 38:33
  Randall Kaplan: Do you know the name of the person who saved your life?
• 38:38
  Randall Kaplan: Don't go is that amazing?
• 38:43
  Amberly Lago: I so wish I do.
• 38:43
  Amberly Lago: And you know, so he came over right away. And I honestly, I don't even remember his face because I was I was rolled over I was on my left side. And I was on laying on my left side, holding on to my right leg. And he came up behind me. And then luckily there was a nurse that that came up and everybody else was just standing around. Like nobody wanted to come near me. I guess it looked pretty gruesome look, I can I can imagine. I mean, there was blood everywhere. And I looked down at my leg once and saw how like crumbled into pieces into form that it's crazy to look. I mean, my foot was dangling off of my leg only attached by skin. And so there was a nurse that came over and she was like, You need to hold my hands. You need to look at me and breathe. And she did. She had me breathe kind of like you do in the MAS and I would breathe a little bit and then a curse and she'd like No, breathe, breathe. So I didn't really like I couldn't turn around and look at him who saved my life basically. And all these years. I would love to know who that was. And then there was one other lady that came over. And both the nurse and that other lady that came over later went to see me in the hospital. When I got out of surgery got out of a coma. They came to see me and brought me food.
• 40:24
  Randall Kaplan: I want to talk about chronic pain, which is something people don't often talk about because other serious diseases like cancer and heart disease are life threatening and treating them often means the difference between life and death. But let's look at some statistics. During 2021 an estimated 20.9% of US adults 51 point 6 million people experienced chronic pain.
• 40:47
  Randall Kaplan: Chronic Pain is substantially more common in the US and die beedis depression, the high blood pressure. And it is the number one reason that people go out on long term disability. You were diagnosed as something with called chronic regional pain syndrome. Can you talk about that and the effect it's had on your life, and all the different medications, you've had the 73 homeopathic medications and the loving prescriptions you've been on to try to treat this?
• 41:17
  Amberly Lago: Yeah, I mean, I was, you know, after my accident, I was still in so much pain. And I just thought, well, this is just part of it. And you know, eventually it'll get better, but the pain seem to be getting worse. And I'll never forget, a friend of mine came over and he was like, why is one of your legs a different color than the other leg. And it was one of my legs was almost like a purplish brown compared to the other leg. And I thought, well, I said kind of defensively?
• 41:47
  Amberly Lago: Well, because it's healing. And I was told that it would take me a long, long time to be able to walk two years probably to be able to get up and walk in. And it was about four and a half months after my accident. And I was very proud to be upright on crutches already. It hurt like hell. And at first, I could only stand up for moments at a time because there was such pain. But I remember thinking, I've got this doctor's appointment. And that's my goal, to be able to go to that doctor's appointment, not in a wheelchair, but on crutches to show him that I'm healing. I'm doing better. I'm gonna be walking soon. And I walk into that appointment. And he takes one look at me and like, runs out of the office.
• 42:29
  Amberly Lago: And I looked at my husband, I was like, well, that's not the reaction I was hoping for. And he comes back in and the exam to me and he says, You've got something very serious. And I was kind of like, well, yeah, I got hit by an SUV. And he goes, No, you have an incurable nerve disease. It's called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome.
• 42:50
  Amberly Lago: Actually, back then it was called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, or RSD. Since then, they have they now call it CRPS.
• 43:02
  Amberly Lago: And I'm like, oh, okay, well, what's that, and he goes, Well, it's a disease of your sympathetic nervous system, you're going to always be in pain for the rest of your life.
• 43:13
  Amberly Lago: There's no known cure, you are going to be permanently disabled, you are never going to walk again, never going to work again. You need to go home and get back in your wheelchair. And I was like, back in my wheelchair for how long and he's like, forever. And I felt like this can't be right. This can't be my life. And I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut. And I remember crying all the way home. And when I got home, I did not get back in my wheelchair.
• 43:40
  Amberly Lago: Instead, I went to straight to physical therapy. And my physical therapist was like, Amberly, what are you doing here? You don't have an appointment today. And I said, I know I don't. But I've just learned something. If I want to have the life that I've always imagined, then I'm going to have to work harder than I've ever worked before. And I did not know how hard that was going to be because it has been very difficult. I mean, yes, I was trying every kind of medical treatment and still do actually, I'm flying to Costa Rica next month to try a new medical treatment. I tried everything though. Ketamine infusions, spinal stimulator, where they put metal leads into your back, spinal blocks, radiofrequency spinal radiofrequency, which the side effect of that is you can be paralyzed. But I'm like, Okay, what the hell live in this constant chronic pain that's ranked highest on the pain, scale or risk, you know, getting out of pain and being paralyzed, and I chose Let's risk being paralyzed together. This pain was that bad. And, in fact, to the point where about a year after my accident, I was diagnosed, I went into my doctor, and I was like, You know what, I appreciate doctor with that. You've done all the surgeries that you've done 34 surgeries to save my leg, but it's given me too much pain, it's deformed. It doesn't work properly. It just leaves me in constant chronic pain. I hate it. We need to just cut it off.
• 45:10
  Amberly Lago: And it goes, You can't do that.
• 45:15
  Amberly Lago: Like it could make the nerve disease spread. It could make it worse like that. That's not a solution. And it was in that moment that everything changed because I had to get in complete acceptance like, this is it these are the cards I've been dealt. And it's up to me to figure out how to play the hell out of these cards. And so I had to change the way I ate my mindset. The way I worked out everything I have to I've had to change everything from how I plan things from whether I'm flying to go speak at An event I can't just hop on a plane and go speak at an event and get there and go speak on stage and I've got all the energy now I have to get there the day before. Let the nerve disease kind of calm down and what it feels like so people ask me what it feels like. And I actually don't even like to talk about what it feels like that often because when I talk about it, and I focus on it, it makes it worse and I can actually start to feel it more.
• 46:17
  Amberly Lago: But I will tell you what it feels like is it feels like so I have CRPS in my right leg. Some people get it in their wrists and people get it in both legs.
• 46:29
  Amberly Lago: Some people get it full body.
• 46:29
  Amberly Lago: Luckily mine has not spread anywhere except for my right leg and it's mostly in my foot that has the least amount of damage.
• 46:38
  Amberly Lago: And what it feels like is if you can imagine like to me like a vise grip that is on my foot and you're just cranking that vise grip grip and you're just squeezing it tighter and tighter and tighter till it wants to implode and like battery acid going through your veins.
• 47:01
  Randall Kaplan: Thanks for listening to part one of my amazing conversation with Amberley Lago Be sure to tune in next week to part two of my awesome conversation with Amberley