Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Russ on Ego, Independence, Living in the Moment, New Movie + More
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Hold up.
- 0:01Speaker 2: Every day I wake up. Wake your ass up. The
- 0:04Speaker 2: Breakfast Club. Y'all finished or y'all done?
- 0:08Speaker 3: Yes, it's the world's most dangerous morning show, The Breakfast Club.
- 0:10Speaker 3: DJ Envy, Just Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha God. Envy is on vacation,
- 0:14Speaker 3: but LL Cool Bay is here, Lauren LaRosa, and we
- 0:16Speaker 3: got a special guest, man. You know him as one
- 0:18Speaker 3: of the biggest independent artists out, if not the biggest,
- 0:21Speaker 3: but now he's about to be a movie star.
- 0:24Speaker 4: Come on.
- 0:25Speaker 2: Russ, what's up, my brother? What up, man? You know,
- 0:27Speaker 2: it's funny.
- 0:27Speaker 3: You've spent like a whole career- building a system where
- 0:31Speaker 3: you're the boss? So what's it like walking on a
- 0:34Speaker 3: movie set where nobody gives a damn that you rushed? Okay,
- 0:36Speaker 3: you got a director, you got to hurry up and wait,
- 0:38Speaker 3: you got to hit line, somebody else wrote it, you
- 0:40Speaker 3: got to surrender complete control.
- 0:43Speaker 4: You know, surprisingly, it was one of the most just
- 0:47Speaker 4: fulfilling experiences because of all those things you said, like,
- 0:51Speaker 4: it wasn't all on me.
- 0:52Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
- 0:53Speaker 4: I got to finally sort of just show up on
- 0:57Speaker 4: X marks the spot and just do your part. And
- 0:59Speaker 4: everyone else is handling like the logistics. And it was nice, man.
- 1:03Speaker 4: And just to be part of a community, it, it
- 1:06Speaker 4: gave me such a contrast with my music career. And
- 1:09Speaker 4: it made me realize how lonely my music career has been. Um,
- 1:12Speaker 4: and just how like isolated I've been in my music career.
- 1:16Speaker 4: And it was, man, I was sending voice memos at
- 1:18Speaker 4: the end of it, like bawling my eyes out to
- 1:20Speaker 4: the director and the cast. Some people responded, some people
- 1:22Speaker 4: did not. That's interesting.
- 1:27Speaker 2: You said you felt isolated.
- 1:28Speaker 1: As an artist.
- 1:29Speaker 4: Well, yeah, you got to think, right? It's like I
- 1:30Speaker 4: go downstairs in my house, in my studio, and sit
- 1:34Speaker 4: there by myself and make a lot of songs, right?
- 1:36Speaker 4: And it's awesome and I love it. Granted, like earlier on,
- 1:39Speaker 4: I was maybe, you know, in the studio with more
- 1:42Speaker 4: people because my boy Boogus was in his house. But
- 1:45Speaker 4: for the most part, Part of the last five, six
- 1:47Speaker 4: years has just been me, Dolo, in the basement in
- 1:49Speaker 4: the studio, and it's been great. But going on a
- 1:52Speaker 4: movie set, and it's 100 people, and we're all here
- 1:55Speaker 4: to do this one thing.
- 1:57Speaker 1: Sense of community.
- 1:57Speaker 4: Yeah, it was so incredible, because you know you're not
- 2:00Speaker 4: by yourself in this thing. It's not just you going
- 2:03Speaker 4: through what you're going through. You guys are all kind
- 2:05Speaker 4: of going through the same, quote, unquote, It was just
- 2:07Speaker 4: so beautiful.
- 2:08Speaker 1: A lot of support.
- 2:09Speaker 4: Yeah. And I was like, wow, I need to create
- 2:11Speaker 4: this in my music career.
- 2:14Speaker 3: I wonder if you being independent caused that. Because you
- 2:16Speaker 3: see a lot of these guys that signed to majors,
- 2:18Speaker 3: it seems like it's a lot of camaraderie. Maybe because
- 2:21Speaker 3: you're independent, they're like, you know what, let's keep him
- 2:23Speaker 3: over there.
- 2:24Speaker 4: No, it was personal choice.
- 2:25Speaker 2: Okay, okay.
- 2:26Speaker 4: Yeah, it was user error.
- 2:27Speaker 2: You just don't like the motherfucker.
- 2:28Speaker 4: Well, no, it was just like, fuck all y'all. No,
- 2:31Speaker 4: it was just, what it was was, well, I don't
- 2:34Speaker 4: need anyone to make a song, so I'll just make
- 2:36Speaker 4: the songs by myself. You know what I mean? I
- 2:38Speaker 4: didn't understand the value, really, of collaboration, I guess, in
- 2:43Speaker 4: a sense. It's not that I haven't collaborated with people,
- 2:46Speaker 4: but a studio session, to me, is so spiritual and
- 2:50Speaker 4: private and vulnerable that I don't want people around. don't
- 2:54Speaker 4: watch me while I'm recording. Like, beat it. You know
- 2:56Speaker 4: what I mean? So for me, that was kind of
- 2:58Speaker 4: the mindset. But after doing the movie, I'm way more
- 3:01Speaker 4: open to, you know, getting in the studio with people
- 3:03Speaker 4: and just having fun doing and trying to make one
- 3:07Speaker 4: thing with a bunch of people.
- 3:08Speaker 1: Now, do you know people like that?
- 3:10Speaker 5: Other people like yourself that has to, like where, how
- 3:14Speaker 5: you describe the creative process of making music, right?
- 3:17Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 3:17Speaker 1: It's so spiritual. It's like, you have to allow yourself
- 3:20Speaker 1: to be vulnerable. Like, do you know other people like that?
- 3:22Speaker 4: That, No, it's a shame. I feel like artists, we
- 3:24Speaker 4: just don't talk to each other. Maybe I don't talk
- 3:26Speaker 4: to people.
- 3:27Speaker 2: We had an artist come up here. I just want some.
- 3:29Speaker 1: Friends, man.
- 3:31Speaker 4: How do you make friends? How does one make friends
- 3:35Speaker 4: as an adult?
- 3:36Speaker 1: I know.
- 3:36Speaker 6: He's been around people that, like, it fills you up
- 3:40Speaker 6: a bit. But there's nobody you watch right now, just their, like,
- 3:43Speaker 6: creative process and how they roll out their stuff.
- 3:45Speaker 7: And you're like, yo, like. I see that. Like, I
- 3:47Speaker 7: fuck with it.
- 3:48Speaker 4: Well, like, rollouts, yeah. But as far as, like, their...
- 3:50Speaker 4: I feel like we don't get that much insight anymore as, like,
- 3:53Speaker 4: studio sessions. I don't know. Growing up, I used to
- 3:55Speaker 4: always watch, like, you know, this artist in the studio.
- 3:58Speaker 1: Like, vlogs and stuff.
- 3:58Speaker 4: Yeah, like, artists would put out documentaries of the making
- 4:01Speaker 4: of their album in the studio. I feel like we
- 4:03Speaker 4: don't get that anymore. So I don't know what people's
- 4:06Speaker 4: process really is, you know? And I feel like people
- 4:08Speaker 4: are private and protective over their process, which is understandable, but.
- 4:13Speaker 2: It's different.
- 4:13Speaker 1: It's definitely different these days.
- 4:14Speaker 3: That's interesting because I feel like we see so much
- 4:17Speaker 3: of the process just on social media. I feel like
- 4:20Speaker 3: everything is part of the process.
- 4:22Speaker 4: Well, yeah, but if you think about it, a lot
- 4:23Speaker 4: of that is like they're by themselves in the room.
- 4:26Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
- 4:26Speaker 4: They're sitting there with the guitar showing the process of
- 4:30Speaker 4: being isolated in their bedroom writing a song.
- 4:32Speaker 1: I don't know.
- 4:33Speaker 4: I mean, again, I think earlier on in my career
- 4:38Speaker 4: when it was like, you know, let's get hammered in
- 4:40Speaker 4: the studio and smoke weed and that was easier to
- 4:43Speaker 4: be around people in the studio because you're lowering your
- 4:45Speaker 4: inhibitions kind of. But now it's like, I try to
- 4:48Speaker 4: be sober in the studio. So with that, it's a
- 4:51Speaker 4: little bit more uncomfortable if there was people there. Because like,
- 4:54Speaker 4: this is my place to get weird and confront whatever's
- 4:58Speaker 4: going on internally. You know what I mean? So like,
- 5:00Speaker 4: I don't need judgy eyes. You know what I mean? Like,
- 5:05Speaker 4: get out of here.
- 5:06Speaker 1: Are you an introvert? Would you say?
- 5:08Speaker 4: I think I'm a extroverted introvert. You know what I mean? Yep.
- 5:12Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 5:12Speaker 1: That's me.
- 5:13Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 5:13Speaker 1: Yeah. For sure.
- 5:14Speaker 4: It's tough. Like I like people, but then.
- 5:16Speaker 2: I'm with you.
- 5:18Speaker 4: Yeah. Like I need an hour and then I'm out,
- 5:21Speaker 4: you know.
- 5:21Speaker 1: Why the name The Elephant and The Rider?
- 5:24Speaker 4: So it comes from this psychology term, The Elephant and
- 5:27Speaker 4: The Rider. I got introduced to it via therapy. And
- 5:30Speaker 4: I don't know if you guys are familiar with it,
- 5:32Speaker 4: but it's incredible, man. It just like kind of just
- 5:35Speaker 4: explains the relationship between your. conscious system, which is the rider,
- 5:40Speaker 4: kind of like your brain, and then your automatic system,
- 5:43Speaker 4: the elephant.
- 5:44Speaker 2: Is that when they chained the elephant? When the elephant
- 5:46Speaker 2: was chained? I don't know.
- 5:48Speaker 4: I don't think so.
- 5:48Speaker 2: Oh, come on.
- 5:49Speaker 4: Yeah. But it's basically like the world teaches the elephant,
- 5:55Speaker 4: the elephant adapts, and then the rider inherits the consequences.
- 6:01Speaker 4: You know what I mean? So for me... An example
- 6:05Speaker 4: is like, okay, well, earlier on in my childhood, my
- 6:08Speaker 4: system learned to like scan for threats and watch everything
- 6:13Speaker 4: super closely. And, you know, because it's like, we need
- 6:17Speaker 4: to be aware of any trouble that's on the way
- 6:21Speaker 4: in order to feel safe. But like 30 years later,
- 6:24Speaker 4: the rider in my adult brain is like, why can't
- 6:26Speaker 4: you relax? And the elephant is like, because I'm doing
- 6:29Speaker 4: the job that you needed me to do all those
- 6:31Speaker 4: years ago. So it's like the goal to me is integration.
- 6:36Speaker 4: It's not like control. It's not, you know, your brain
- 6:38Speaker 4: or the rider telling the elephant, do as I say.
- 6:41Speaker 4: It's more so understanding like, okay, what is happening right now?
- 6:47Speaker 4: And is this from before or is it right now?
- 6:52Speaker 4: You know what I mean? If what I'm feeling is
- 6:54Speaker 4: actually just decades old of information, then I need to
- 6:59Speaker 4: understand that instead of like, running around in present day time,
- 7:03Speaker 4: trying to make sense of what my body's feeling when
- 7:07Speaker 4: my body's really reacting to something from 30 years ago.
- 7:10Speaker 4: It's thinking that that's happening right now.
- 7:12Speaker 7: It's like how people deal with traumatic experiences.
- 7:14Speaker 4: Yeah, it's somatic. It's in your body.
- 7:15Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 7:16Speaker 6: It's interesting to hear you say that because I've watched
- 7:18Speaker 6: a lot of your interviews where you talk about like
- 7:19Speaker 6: your process with music and just throwing things out there
- 7:21Speaker 6: and almost not needing approval by people, just letting things
- 7:24Speaker 6: just do what it wants to do. It sounds like
- 7:26Speaker 6: you're almost working backwards from that now and kind of
- 7:29Speaker 6: releasing control a little bit. Even though you've always seemed
- 7:32Speaker 6: a little free, this seems like a different era of
- 7:34Speaker 6: like you're kind of open a little bit more.
- 7:37Speaker 4: Well, I think I'm confronting things I never was willing
- 7:40Speaker 4: to confront. And I think, to be honest, I think
- 7:44Speaker 4: as much as I wanted to believe I wasn't chasing
- 7:46Speaker 4: the approval of people, I was. I kind of grew
- 7:50Speaker 4: up with my dad being the authority, and then I
- 7:53Speaker 4: outsourced the authority to the public.
- 7:56Speaker 1: Oh, wow, okay.
- 7:57Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
- 7:57Speaker 1: I could see that.
- 7:58Speaker 4: Like, I replaced my dad with the public.
- 8:01Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You cared about what your dad thought.
- 8:03Speaker 1: Right.
- 8:03Speaker 2: Now you care about what the public thinks.
- 8:04Speaker 4: Well, and I was scared of getting in trouble with
- 8:08Speaker 4: my dad. Scared of being, you know, making a mistake
- 8:11Speaker 4: to my dad. Now I'm scared of making a mistake.
- 8:14Speaker 4: To the public and getting in trouble by the public.
- 8:17Speaker 4: It's like I've made the public the authority, which makes
- 8:19Speaker 4: sense because as a musician, you do, unfortunately, from an
- 8:25Speaker 4: economic standpoint, live and die by do people like you
- 8:28Speaker 4: or not.
- 8:29Speaker 1: Yeah, validation.
- 8:30Speaker 4: You know what I mean? I've always said with sports,
- 8:32Speaker 4: it's so finite. It's like you can hate that NBA player,
- 8:35Speaker 4: but if he averages 20 and 10, it doesn't matter.
- 8:37Speaker 2: He's still going to.
- 8:41Speaker 4: He's still going to get a job. You know what
- 8:43Speaker 4: I mean? You're not affecting his finances. But as a
- 8:46Speaker 4: musician or public figure, it's like if the public says
- 8:49Speaker 4: we don't like you, it kind of gets a little sketchy.
- 8:52Speaker 3: I want to go back to the parable you were
- 8:54Speaker 3: talking about, the elephant and the rider, because there was
- 8:56Speaker 3: another one called The Elephant and the Stake.
- 8:58Speaker 4: Interesting.
- 8:58Speaker 3: And it was a baby elephant, and the baby elephant
- 9:00Speaker 3: was tied to a heavy stake with a very strong chain, right?
- 9:04Speaker 2: And it would struggle to escape.
- 9:06Speaker 3: But, you know, it's too weak because it's a baby elephant,
- 9:09Speaker 3: so eventually it just gives up. And then as the
- 9:11Speaker 3: animal grew to an adult, they switched the chain with
- 9:14Speaker 3: just like this little.
- 9:14Speaker 2: Fragile rope and a stake.
- 9:16Speaker 1: And it wouldn't move.
- 9:17Speaker 2: The elephant never tried to.
- 9:19Speaker 3: Pull away because mentally it was thinking about its past failures,
- 9:24Speaker 3: and it just thought escape was impossible.
- 9:25Speaker 2: Wow. Wow.
- 9:26Speaker 4: That's real. Maybe I should change the title.
- 9:29Speaker 1: No, I like Elephant in the Rye.
- 9:30Speaker 4: That one's good.
- 9:32Speaker 2: What did acting expose that music allowed you to hide?
- 9:40Speaker 1: Wow.
- 9:42Speaker 4: Acting requires you to have immediate access to things that
- 9:47Speaker 4: you're not immediately feeling. You know what I mean?
- 9:51Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 9:52Speaker 4: With music, I'm only going to record this moment emotional
- 9:56Speaker 4: song because I'm experiencing these emotions right now. So I'm...
- 10:00Speaker 4: not like trying to perform it. Acting is like be
- 10:03Speaker 4: sad now. It's like, you know, so that was, it
- 10:08Speaker 4: was a different level. To answer your question, it required
- 10:12Speaker 4: me to have more empathy because I had to have
- 10:14Speaker 4: empathy for what the character was going through. It didn't
- 10:17Speaker 4: matter if I, Russell Vitale was scared in the moment.
- 10:21Speaker 4: It's like, the character is. And how can you empathize
- 10:24Speaker 4: with where the character is in his story and all that? So,
- 10:27Speaker 4: all the acting classes I was taking, they were just
- 10:29Speaker 4: emphasizing empathy as a huge, huge part of it.
- 10:33Speaker 2: I saw the movie a long time ago.
- 10:35Speaker 4: Oh, yeah?
- 10:36Speaker 2: Like, last year sometime.
- 10:37Speaker 4: For real? Oh, so you didn't see it with all
- 10:38Speaker 4: of its, like, sound and everything.
- 10:40Speaker 1: I don't know.
- 10:40Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even know what cut I saw. But
- 10:42Speaker 3: I remember your character was viewed as a troublemaker. And
- 10:46Speaker 3: people thought he was the one he was the primary
- 10:49Speaker 3: suspect when shit started going wrong. And it just made
- 10:51Speaker 3: me think, have you ever felt like people decided who
- 10:54Speaker 3: Russ was before actually getting to know you?
- 10:56Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 10:57Speaker 4: But that comes with the territory. You know what I mean?
- 11:00Speaker 4: That's also like, I have to take some accountability for that.
- 11:03Speaker 4: You know, it's like, if you want to publicly, you know,
- 11:07Speaker 4: make these bold decisions, stances and just you know when
- 11:10Speaker 4: you put yourself out there you have to be prepared
- 11:13Speaker 4: for some people to be like i don't like it
- 11:14Speaker 4: i don't like this you know i mean i don't
- 11:16Speaker 4: like your voice i don't like your body language i
- 11:18Speaker 4: don't like anything so it is what it is you.
- 11:21Speaker 7: Know i think.
- 11:23Speaker 6: You being the rage against the machine guy and then
- 11:27Speaker 6: hearing you right now i think any human can understand
- 11:31Speaker 6: where you're where you were coming from and where you're
- 11:33Speaker 6: arriving right now though And I saw you tweet that, like,
- 11:35Speaker 6: you're trying to be more vulnerable with this project.
- 11:38Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 11:38Speaker 6: And I think that this is, like, a good side
- 11:39Speaker 6: for people to see because when I did listen to
- 11:41Speaker 6: you speak before, I always felt like your experience was, like,
- 11:44Speaker 6: really jaded.
- 11:45Speaker 7: But I didn't know you, though.
- 11:45Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 11:46Speaker 7: I was just like, yo, he been real hurt. Somebody
- 11:48Speaker 7: effed him over. But he makes good music and he
- 11:50Speaker 7: has fans, so he gonna be fine.
- 11:52Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 11:52Speaker 6: But it did seem like you were always, like, upset at, like,
- 11:55Speaker 6: what was happening to you. Like, you weren't successful in
- 11:58Speaker 6: your own right, but you were.
- 11:59Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, no, it's a good point. Yeah, I was
- 12:03Speaker 4: upset that I wasn't getting applauded the way I thought
- 12:08Speaker 4: I deserved to be applauded. But that's because my own
- 12:11Speaker 4: internal applause was not loud enough. You know what I mean?
- 12:15Speaker 4: I couldn't hear myself cheering for me. I just heard,
- 12:18Speaker 4: you know, the lack of applause.
- 12:20Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 12:20Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
- 12:21Speaker 4: And it's like, have you taken a second to clap
- 12:24Speaker 4: for yourself at all? Or are you just focused on
- 12:27Speaker 4: who's not clapping for you?
- 12:28Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 12:29Speaker 4: That early on was what I was focused on. Cause
- 12:32Speaker 4: I think I had a very like rigid idea of
- 12:36Speaker 4: how I wanted my career to go and look like
- 12:38Speaker 4: and all these things. And, you know, naturally it's not
- 12:41Speaker 4: going to go the exact way you see it. And
- 12:44Speaker 4: then when it, when it's not going exactly how you
- 12:46Speaker 4: think and you feel like, you know, Oh, anything I
- 12:50Speaker 4: think though comes true. My mind is so powerful and I,
- 12:52Speaker 4: but why isn't it going the way I want? You
- 12:54Speaker 4: start There really just begins to be just this massive
- 12:58Speaker 4: conflict internally and externally.
- 13:01Speaker 3: At what point does independence become ego? Meaning like, you know,
- 13:06Speaker 3: the I can do everything myself mentality. Does that ever
- 13:08Speaker 3: prevent you from accepting help that could probably take you further?
- 13:11Speaker 3: Because I'm thinking about that because what you're saying about
- 13:13Speaker 3: your experience on the movie set.
- 13:14Speaker 4: Yeah. I think independence becomes ego when you are not
- 13:19Speaker 4: honest with what you can actually manage. You know what
- 13:23Speaker 4: I mean? I think a lot of people, like they
- 13:25Speaker 4: look at independence and they're, they don't understand that. It's like, okay,
- 13:29Speaker 4: well you're running the label now. You know what I mean?
- 13:32Speaker 4: Like I run my label. It's just me though. You
- 13:35Speaker 4: know what I mean? But for example, it's like, are
- 13:38Speaker 4: you prepared to tell the artists you that like you're
- 13:42Speaker 4: spending too much money? You know what I mean? I
- 13:45Speaker 4: got to have those talks with myself of like, you're
- 13:47Speaker 4: over budget. But then artist me is like, you don't
- 13:49Speaker 4: get the vision.
- 13:50Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
- 13:52Speaker 4: Like, it's about the art. I don't care if it's
- 13:54Speaker 4: making money. So you got to be honest with yourself.
- 13:57Speaker 4: And a lot of people are not honest with themselves.
- 13:58Speaker 4: They're not actually willing to put in that kind of work, which, again,
- 14:03Speaker 4: I don't knock anyone for not wanting to be independent
- 14:07Speaker 4: because it comes with having to run your own label.
- 14:11Speaker 4: even if you're the only artist. So that's a lot of,
- 14:13Speaker 4: like some people, it's just not for them. So I
- 14:16Speaker 4: was never, you know, and I was never like anti-labels.
- 14:19Speaker 4: I partnered with Columbia. I'm anti-bad deals. I'm anti-exploitative deals.
- 14:24Speaker 4: I'm not anti-partnerships, you know, so.
- 14:27Speaker 3: Because at some point you got to look at it
- 14:29Speaker 3: like it's a business you're trying to scale, right?
- 14:31Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think the reason why, you know, I
- 14:34Speaker 4: partnered with them, the landscape was way different. It was
- 14:36Speaker 4: 2016 and I was like, I need to get on radio.
- 14:38Speaker 4: And that was like, you know, That was still a
- 14:41Speaker 4: thing back then. I know it still is now, but
- 14:42Speaker 4: it was much more weighed back then. It was just
- 14:45Speaker 4: heavier back then. And after three, four years of it,
- 14:50Speaker 4: I was like, well, you guys aren't doing anything for
- 14:52Speaker 4: me that I can't do for myself. That's why I left.
- 14:56Speaker 4: But I made a conscious decision, and I knew what
- 15:01Speaker 4: needed to be done in order to just keep it
- 15:03Speaker 4: going the same way it was going. It's not like, oh,
- 15:06Speaker 4: once I left the label, I didn't get on radio.
- 15:08Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
- 15:08Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 15:09Speaker 4: Again, but it's like you have to be prepared to
- 15:11Speaker 4: do all the work that they were doing.
- 15:14Speaker 6: I saw your interview you did with Daniel Wall and
- 15:17Speaker 6: you talked about all the money that you spent on
- 15:19Speaker 6: music videos.
- 15:20Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 15:21Speaker 4: And just in general on music.
- 15:23Speaker 6: So at what point... Is that still with the budget?
- 15:27Speaker 6: It's like hundreds of thousands of dollars per video.
- 15:30Speaker 4: There is no budget. That's my issue. It's because I'm
- 15:32Speaker 4: the artist and I'm like, there's no budget because I
- 15:37Speaker 4: want to make what I want to make. But then...
- 15:40Speaker 4: label me has to step in at some point and
- 15:42Speaker 4: be like i think i'm spending too much money but
- 15:46Speaker 4: i never have those honest conversations like very rarely do
- 15:49Speaker 4: i have the honest conversation with myself of like because
- 15:52Speaker 4: i always think yeah but if i can afford it
- 15:56Speaker 4: i should and that's you know i've had to learn
- 15:58Speaker 4: from my business manager like there's a difference between can
- 16:01Speaker 4: i afford it and should i afford it you know
- 16:04Speaker 4: what i mean like i can afford everything i'm doing
- 16:07Speaker 4: should i though One of the.
- 16:09Speaker 6: Figures was like $ 100, 000, $ 200, 000 or something like that on
- 16:12Speaker 6: the music video that.
- 16:12Speaker 4: You really believed in. I've done that a bunch.
- 16:14Speaker 6: And that wasn't even a song that took off from
- 16:16Speaker 6: the project.
- 16:17Speaker 4: No, not at all. Yeah. I had a cool idea
- 16:20Speaker 4: I wanted to do.
- 16:21Speaker 1: No, that's all right.
- 16:23Speaker 4: But again, I remember being on Columbia and having those
- 16:26Speaker 4: same kind of ideas and being like, I want to
- 16:30Speaker 4: shoot a video to this song off the album, song
- 16:32Speaker 4: number eight, that nobody, it's just my favorite. And they're like, no,
- 16:36Speaker 4: we're working this one. And I would stomp my feet,
- 16:39Speaker 4: but it's like they had a point. Like, this one's
- 16:42Speaker 4: making money. This is the fan favorite. We're doing this one.
- 16:46Speaker 4: We don't care what you're saying. But for me, I'm like,
- 16:49Speaker 4: but I'm the artist. I want this one to get
- 16:51Speaker 4: a spotlight. You know, so being independent now, I can
- 16:56Speaker 4: spotlight what I want to spotlight and also spotlight the
- 17:01Speaker 4: ones that are obviously the fan favorite. So I get
- 17:03Speaker 4: to do both. It's just, again, should I do both?
- 17:06Speaker 4: Should I shine the light on the song that nobody's
- 17:08Speaker 4: really paying attention to? And obviously they're as an audience,
- 17:12Speaker 4: they haven't elected this one as the one. Should I
- 17:15Speaker 4: just shine the light on the one that they're all
- 17:16Speaker 4: streaming the most? But again, that is the freedom you
- 17:20Speaker 4: get being independent, but that's also freedom is the blessing
- 17:24Speaker 4: and the curse of being independent. Having nobody to tell
- 17:27Speaker 4: me what to do is the Good thing, and it's
- 17:30Speaker 4: the bad thing, because sometimes you need somebody being like,
- 17:32Speaker 4: you shouldn't spend that fucking money.
- 17:33Speaker 2: Even the boss needs people around him to keep them
- 17:36Speaker 2: in line.
- 17:37Speaker 4: For sure. I'm at this point in my life now
- 17:39Speaker 4: where I'm actively telling people around me, I want you
- 17:44Speaker 4: to tell me what to do. I'm going to go
- 17:46Speaker 4: with what I want, but you're here because I respect
- 17:50Speaker 4: your opinion and your taste and your ideas, and you
- 17:54Speaker 4: have to challenge me.
- 17:55Speaker 1: And you may see something that I don't see.
- 17:57Speaker 4: 100%.
- 17:58Speaker 5: Give me direction, give me guidance, and I'll take the path.
- 18:01Speaker 5: But see, I think differently because you know you wanted
- 18:04Speaker 5: to shoot the video to a song that may not
- 18:06Speaker 5: necessarily be everybody's favorite, but sometimes a visual will bring
- 18:11Speaker 5: it to life and make people like, oh damn. That's
- 18:14Speaker 5: what happens when I listen to like Joyner Lucas. I
- 18:18Speaker 5: won't like a song or whatever until he makes a
- 18:21Speaker 5: visual to it.
- 18:22Speaker 1: Then I'm like, oh damn, it's hard. Now I'm listening
- 18:24Speaker 1: to it.
- 18:24Speaker 4: There's artists like that where once you see the video,
- 18:27Speaker 4: you're like, oh, I get it.
- 18:28Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 18:28Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 18:29Speaker 1: So I'm the other way around, but I get it.
- 18:30Speaker 4: Yeah. It's just, I've done it so many times where
- 18:33Speaker 4: I've thrown 160 grand or 200 grand at a music
- 18:36Speaker 4: video and it doesn't do anything for the song. And
- 18:39Speaker 4: it's like, I get it. People listening are going to
- 18:41Speaker 4: be like, well, it's just about the art though. It's like, Yeah,
- 18:44Speaker 4: but when you're spending your own money, it kind of
- 18:47Speaker 4: has to be a little bit about where's the ROI here?
- 18:50Speaker 4: It can't just keep being like, well, but at least
- 18:52Speaker 4: I love what I made.
- 18:54Speaker 3: So what's something you've learned about independence that contradicts everything
- 18:59Speaker 3: you've preached in the past?
- 19:01Speaker 2: Nothing.
- 19:03Speaker 4: No, I mean, outside of what I said at the beginning,
- 19:05Speaker 4: which is I think maybe earlier on in my career
- 19:09Speaker 4: and times throughout even recent memory that I've maybe come
- 19:14Speaker 4: off like you should be independent. And that was never
- 19:18Speaker 4: really the full intention. Cause it's nuanced again. It's like,
- 19:22Speaker 4: you should be independent if you're prepared to do all
- 19:26Speaker 4: the work that comes with it. And a lot of
- 19:28Speaker 4: times I was kind of talking to my peers with that.
- 19:31Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
- 19:32Speaker 4: Like I've talked to Wale a bunch about going independent and,
- 19:36Speaker 4: you know, French Montana, I helped him get his situation
- 19:39Speaker 4: where he's at now. It's like, I was more so
- 19:41Speaker 4: talking to my peers because I'm like, I know y'all
- 19:42Speaker 4: have the money to do it. That's really where I
- 19:45Speaker 4: was coming from. I was on some like, look, we
- 19:49Speaker 4: have the money. now to go independent and still be
- 19:53Speaker 4: able to put the song on radio and work it
- 19:55Speaker 4: the way it needs to be worked.
- 19:56Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
- 19:57Speaker 4: That's kind of who I was talking to. A lot
- 19:59Speaker 4: of times, I think it was probably our last conversation,
- 20:02Speaker 4: people were like, well, easy for you to say you
- 20:05Speaker 4: have the money it's like yeah like if it doesn't
- 20:07Speaker 4: apply to you it doesn't apply to you you know what.
- 20:09Speaker 1: I mean yeah like even how you broke down like
- 20:12Speaker 1: how much Drake would make if.
- 20:13Speaker 4: He were to go yeah yeah yeah independent right yeah
- 20:17Speaker 4: but again it's like it is nice just kind of
- 20:20Speaker 4: you just go to the studio and then everybody else
- 20:23Speaker 4: handles everything else.
- 20:26Speaker 1: What shocked you I'm.
- 20:26Speaker 5: Going back to don't move what shocked you the most
- 20:29Speaker 5: about yourself in this.
- 20:30Speaker 4: Role I went in there so nervous So nervous. That
- 20:35Speaker 4: wasn't what shocked me. But because I was so nervous,
- 20:39Speaker 4: I didn't think I was going to do that great.
- 20:42Speaker 4: And as we kept filming, I felt like I did
- 20:47Speaker 4: pretty well, especially there was just, there was moments on
- 20:50Speaker 4: set where I was like, I know I killed that.
- 20:52Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
- 20:52Speaker 4: You just felt it. And I remember just being so
- 20:56Speaker 4: nervous and talking with my therapist about it. And I
- 20:59Speaker 4: would like, this is what I do. I don't know
- 21:01Speaker 4: if anyone else does this, but. I would oscillate between
- 21:04Speaker 4: two extremes of I have to be perfect and kill it.
- 21:10Speaker 4: And like, oh my God, and start to spiral. And
- 21:13Speaker 4: then why do I even care about this anyway? You
- 21:17Speaker 4: know what I mean?
- 21:17Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 21:18Speaker 4: It's like, how about the middle?
- 21:20Speaker 2: My daddy used to always say to me growing up,
- 21:23Speaker 2: you're never as good as they are. You're never as
- 21:25Speaker 2: good as they say you are. And you're never as
- 21:26Speaker 2: bad as they say you are.
- 21:27Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 21:28Speaker 2: And that's always kept me in that gray area. I
- 21:30Speaker 2: can't operate with extremes.
- 21:31Speaker 4: You know what helped me? So going into it, my
- 21:34Speaker 4: therapist was like, how about going into it as a beginner?
- 21:40Speaker 2: The truth.
- 21:40Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, I didn't realize that that
- 21:44Speaker 4: was accessible.
- 21:45Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
- 21:45Speaker 4: Because it was like, oh, wow. They're not expecting me
- 21:48Speaker 4: to come on set and be Brad Pitt. They know
- 21:50Speaker 4: this is my first role, but I'm going in there
- 21:52Speaker 4: with those expectations of myself just because of who I
- 21:55Speaker 4: am and how I'm wired. But when I walked in
- 21:59Speaker 4: as like, okay, I am a beginner. ask questions, own
- 22:03Speaker 4: it and do your best every time and take it
- 22:05Speaker 4: serious and honor the opportunity. Meaning take the acting classes,
- 22:10Speaker 4: stay reading the script. Don't mess your lines up. And like,
- 22:12Speaker 4: I was dialed in. I was super, super dialed in.
- 22:15Speaker 4: I took it serious. I honored the craft of it
- 22:18Speaker 4: and the respect of it. And I didn't want to
- 22:20Speaker 4: like be the guy there who's just trying to wing it.
- 22:22Speaker 4: And like, of course you're winging it because you're not
- 22:24Speaker 4: even really an actor. I was like, no, I really
- 22:26Speaker 4: took it serious. But I think going into it with
- 22:29Speaker 4: that beginner mindset allowed me to be a sponge and
- 22:33Speaker 4: it also allowed me to, you know, a little bit
- 22:37Speaker 4: more liberty to make mistakes.
- 22:41Speaker 3: I will say though, you're not Brad Pitt, but you
- 22:44Speaker 3: are a draw for this movie.
- 22:47Speaker 2: Like when they asked me to watch it, it's like
- 22:50Speaker 2: Russ is in it. And T-Pain.
- 22:52Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 22:53Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, I'll watch it now. Crazy.
- 22:55Speaker 4: Crazy. You know what I'm saying?
- 22:57Speaker 3: So there is some type of pressure.
- 22:59Speaker 4: T-Pain was so good. That was the first scene we filmed.
- 23:02Speaker 4: I was like, you're so.
- 23:03Speaker 2: Good at this.
- 23:03Speaker 1: This is crazy. I wasn't working with him.
- 23:05Speaker 4: He's so cool. T-Pain is such a legend.
- 23:07Speaker 2: That's dope.
- 23:08Speaker 1: He's so animated, too.
- 23:09Speaker 5: I know his energy was just so bubbly, charming, funny.
- 23:13Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 23:14Speaker 4: He's a legend.
- 23:14Speaker 2: And it's funny.
- 23:15Speaker 3: The movie is interesting, too, because your whole career philosophy
- 23:18Speaker 3: is keep it moving, right?
- 23:19Speaker 4: Don't stop.
- 23:20Speaker 3: But in this movie- the monster literally hunts you by vibration.
- 23:25Speaker 3: That's why it's called don't move. So have you reached
- 23:27Speaker 3: a point in life where you've realized that sometimes the
- 23:30Speaker 3: smartest thing to do is to be still?
- 23:32Speaker 4: Yeah. It's just a matter of like, can I do
- 23:35Speaker 4: it though? You know, I think I keep my feet
- 23:39Speaker 4: moving as a way to distract me from dealing with
- 23:42Speaker 4: what's going on internally.
- 23:43Speaker 2: Ooh, they always say staying busy is a response to trauma.
- 23:47Speaker 4: Yeah. Well, you know what's so funny? So brutal. That's
- 23:52Speaker 4: so true. I feel like I've tried to regulate the
- 23:59Speaker 4: anxiety in my body via productivity.
- 24:03Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
- 24:04Speaker 4: That's been my meditation.
- 24:05Speaker 2: We understand. Yeah.
- 24:08Speaker 4: It doesn't work.
- 24:08Speaker 6: That's crazy because I feel like the more you're moving,
- 24:11Speaker 6: the more there's moving variables which would then cause more anxiety.
- 24:14Speaker 4: It just distracts my anxiety. It gives my brain something
- 24:18Speaker 4: to latch on to. Filling up my calendar and to-do
- 24:22Speaker 4: list externally allows me to ignore what's going on internally.
- 24:26Speaker 4: You know, it's like a distraction for a second. And
- 24:29Speaker 4: I just think moving that much and being that active
- 24:31Speaker 4: and always trying to like, all right, well, what's next?
- 24:34Speaker 4: What should we do? We should do this, this idea,
- 24:35Speaker 4: this idea. It's just, it's because there's so much energy
- 24:38Speaker 4: in my body that hasn't been regulated that if I
- 24:42Speaker 4: can just get it out that way, maybe I can
- 24:44Speaker 4: finally feel relaxed and at ease. But no matter where
- 24:47Speaker 4: you go, there you are.
- 24:49Speaker 3: That's why COVID was so tough for a lot of people,
- 24:50Speaker 3: because that was the first time a lot of people
- 24:53Speaker 3: had to just sit.
- 24:54Speaker 2: And be still.
- 24:56Speaker 4: That's why drinking went up.
- 24:57Speaker 2: And they just weren't happy with who they were.
- 25:00Speaker 3: Literally, when you finally got to be still and look
- 25:02Speaker 3: in that mirror, you're like, I don't like who I am.
- 25:05Speaker 2: For those of us who was already going to therapy
- 25:07Speaker 2: and stuff, we were ready for COVID. For those who weren't,
- 25:10Speaker 2: hadn't done no work on they self, oh my God.
- 25:14Speaker 1: So wait, you made this album while you were making
- 25:16Speaker 1: the movie?
- 25:17Speaker 4: I'm still making it. I didn't start making the album
- 25:19Speaker 4: until after the movie.
- 25:21Speaker 2: Oh, okay, okay, okay.
- 25:22Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say, because how
- 25:23Speaker 1: was that?
- 25:24Speaker 4: Yeah, no.
- 25:24Speaker 1: To snap out a character and then to, you know.
- 25:26Speaker 4: No, no, I wasn't making anything while making the movie.
- 25:29Speaker 4: I was so worried.
- 25:30Speaker 2: Super focused.
- 25:31Speaker 4: Yeah, like every Sunday I was getting with an acting
- 25:33Speaker 4: coach and going over the scenes we were going to
- 25:35Speaker 4: do that week. And it was interesting because I remember
- 25:39Speaker 4: at the end of the movie, Murr and the director
- 25:42Speaker 4: were like, you know, applauding like, oh, he took it
- 25:45Speaker 4: so serious. He took acting classes. I'm like, y'all gave
- 25:48Speaker 4: me this role without thinking I was going to do that? Like,
- 25:52Speaker 4: what was the logic here of giving me this opportunity?
- 25:55Speaker 5: Because they probably saw how you were.
- 25:57Speaker 1: Like, you know what I mean?
- 25:58Speaker 4: That's what they said. They were like, nah, we saw
- 25:59Speaker 4: enough interviews and music videos and, you know.
- 26:02Speaker 1: Because even me watching the trailer, I didn't get to
- 26:04Speaker 1: see it. I'm not a specialist. Charlamagne didn't send me.
- 26:06Speaker 4: The fucking video. He saw it before I did.
- 26:08Speaker 1: But, you know.
- 26:09Speaker 2: Yeah, this was months ago. Oh.
- 26:11Speaker 1: That's great. But no, like, they probably saw you and
- 26:15Speaker 1: was like, oh, yo, we want him.
- 26:16Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
- 26:17Speaker 5: So some people, like, they curate roles around people that
- 26:20Speaker 5: they see already can embody them.
- 26:22Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 26:23Speaker 4: And the role didn't feel like too much of a reach.
- 26:25Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 26:25Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
- 26:27Speaker 2: It's like, all right. No, it wasn't. It was effortless.
- 26:30Speaker 2: You and T-Pain were very effortless throughout the whole film.
- 26:33Speaker 2: Thank you. Norm said something earlier, right?
- 26:38Speaker 3: And it was kind of alluding to, like, that that
- 26:40Speaker 3: chip on the shoulder that we used to see from
- 26:42Speaker 3: Russ a lot.
- 26:43Speaker 2: And it did help make you successful. Sure. Have you
- 26:46Speaker 2: ever worried that that same chip could eventually limit you?
- 26:50Speaker 4: Oh, it did. It did. Yeah. It's just not a
- 26:55Speaker 4: sustainable fuel, you know, to keep trying to trick your
- 27:00Speaker 4: brain into thinking the next plaque I get, I'll feel good.
- 27:06Speaker 4: You know, I feel like feeling good is always just
- 27:13Speaker 4: out of reach. You know what I mean? Feeling content
- 27:16Speaker 4: with my life is always like just out of reach.
- 27:20Speaker 4: And like you said, it worked for a little bit
- 27:23Speaker 4: and it worked when the context was different, when I
- 27:26Speaker 4: hadn't blown up yet. And it was kind of like, um,
- 27:31Speaker 4: logical to think that, well, yeah, you feeling good about
- 27:33Speaker 4: your life is out of reach because you still haven't
- 27:36Speaker 4: made your dreams come true.
- 27:37Speaker 1: Right.
- 27:38Speaker 4: But once you make your dreams come true to keep
- 27:40Speaker 4: And prolonging fulfillment and keep putting it just out of
- 27:44Speaker 4: reach of yourself is just debilitating.
- 27:47Speaker 3: I mean, you got to, that's what they tell you,
- 27:51Speaker 3: be grateful for where you are. They always say if
- 27:54Speaker 3: you can't be appreciative of what you have, God won't
- 27:57Speaker 3: bless you with more.
- 27:58Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 27:59Speaker 4: Man, I have a just unfortunate feeling that I know
- 28:04Speaker 4: at the end of my life I'm going to be
- 28:05Speaker 4: so bummed that I didn't. that I wasn't here for
- 28:10Speaker 4: so much of it. You know what I mean? Like
- 28:13Speaker 4: I'm waste my days away sometimes in my head, you know,
- 28:16Speaker 4: like you just, just living in my head so much
- 28:20Speaker 4: when it's like, well, yeah, because people who learn that
- 28:26Speaker 4: being in your body feels unsafe, you start to live
- 28:29Speaker 4: in your head, you know? And so that's kind of
- 28:31Speaker 4: what this album again is talking about is, is just
- 28:35Speaker 4: that path to integration, you know?
- 28:39Speaker 3: Sometimes people can believe in themselves so much that you'll
- 28:43Speaker 3: be unable to hear yourself.
- 28:46Speaker 2: Why? I don't know.
- 28:47Speaker 6: I think it's a mechanism you develop because you're used
- 28:50Speaker 6: to having, you have to believe in yourself that much
- 28:54Speaker 6: because the people around you either don't understand it, even
- 28:56Speaker 6: if they want to support you, or they don't support it.
- 28:59Speaker 6: So you got to talk yourself through all these like,
- 29:02Speaker 6: Hurdles and obstacles that are unimaginable. All of us in
- 29:06Speaker 6: this room have accomplished things that people are like, how
- 29:08Speaker 6: the hell did you do that? You've had to talk
- 29:10Speaker 6: yourself through things that were like, this is not even
- 29:13Speaker 6: a real thing for people.
- 29:14Speaker 3: But you'll stop listening to yourself when you actually probably
- 29:16Speaker 3: do need that moment to sit still. When your body
- 29:19Speaker 3: is literally telling you like, no, bro, something's wrong. You
- 29:22Speaker 3: need to sit down and figure this out.
- 29:24Speaker 2: You keep going, keep going, keep going.
- 29:25Speaker 6: But I don't even know how you got through that, though,
- 29:27Speaker 6: because physically, your body didn't start responding to me like, nah, uh-uh,
- 29:32Speaker 6: something's not right.
- 29:33Speaker 1: Well, you got a therapist, right?
- 29:34Speaker 4: Yeah, I got a therapist four years ago, but before that, alcohol.
- 29:38Speaker 4: That's how I got there.
- 29:40Speaker 6: Burned yourself out. I spent the summer, and by the
- 29:43Speaker 6: end of that summer, I was like, no.
- 29:45Speaker 2: All that money you was making, it was just liquor,
- 29:47Speaker 2: no cocaine?
- 29:48Speaker 4: Never cocaine.
- 29:49Speaker 1: Fuck no, no.
- 29:50Speaker 4: Just alcohol and weed. That was it.
- 29:52Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. Do you smoke weed still?
- 29:56Speaker 4: I stopped for five years, then I started again. recently,
- 29:59Speaker 4: but I've been doing these like mushroom gummies, which is- Yo.
- 30:01Speaker 1: Everybody love the mushroom gummies and the mushroom chocolate.
- 30:03Speaker 2: They the ones, bro. You're doing them in the right dose.
- 30:05Speaker 4: Yeah, they're kind of incredible. I've done them like three
- 30:08Speaker 4: times and I'm like, all right, I'm starting to feel
- 30:10Speaker 4: like I'm looking at my house for the first time.
- 30:11Speaker 4: This is nice.
- 30:12Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm telling you, because what it does is it
- 30:14Speaker 5: makes you micro-focus on things that you- may have.
- 30:17Speaker 1: Looked over, you know?
- 30:18Speaker 4: It's like I'm noticing my life for the first time.
- 30:20Speaker 1: There you go. And a lot of times people show.
- 30:22Speaker 4: Up for clarity. Pro-drug interview.
- 30:24Speaker 1: No, that's bad, though.
- 30:25Speaker 4: What a turn of events for me and my brand.
- 30:27Speaker 2: No, no, that's plant-based medicine. Right.
- 30:29Speaker 4: Because I show up for clarity.
- 30:31Speaker 5: And sometimes that's what you got to do. You know,
- 30:32Speaker 5: you got to show up for clarity sometimes. Well, you
- 30:34Speaker 5: don't got to.
- 30:35Speaker 1: I'm not going to say that.
- 30:36Speaker 4: Sorry, kids.
- 30:36Speaker 1: But it's cool.
- 30:38Speaker 4: Yeah. Nice. I'm interested. I'm just scared of myself too much.
- 30:42Speaker 4: Me too.
- 30:43Speaker 2: Do it when it calls you.
- 30:44Speaker 6: Yeah, I'd say the same thing. Like, I would love
- 30:46Speaker 6: to have that journey, but I'm so scared about when
- 30:48Speaker 6: it calls you.
- 30:48Speaker 4: It's called. I'm just not picking up, but it calls.
- 30:50Speaker 4: My phone is connecting.
- 30:52Speaker 1: I ain't got anything to do yet.
- 30:53Speaker 2: For the space you're in right now, it would be
- 30:55Speaker 2: really good for you. I've thought about it. But I'm
- 30:57Speaker 2: telling you, whatever you got.
- 30:58Speaker 4: But I need to go to like a shaman.
- 31:00Speaker 2: I do that. I'm going again in November.
- 31:03Speaker 4: Costa Rica?
- 31:04Speaker 1: No, no, no.
- 31:04Speaker 2: I go in L.A.
- 31:05Speaker 1: But why?
- 31:05Speaker 7: How do you know when it's time to go?
- 31:06Speaker 2: They got shamans in L.A.? Yes, but they fly them in.
- 31:08Speaker 2: They fly them in. No, no, no, no, no.
- 31:10Speaker 1: It sounds like that's not Joshua.
- 31:12Speaker 4: I'm not going to go to L.A. A shaman in L.A.
- 31:13Speaker 2: No, I promise you.
- 31:14Speaker 4: That's what they call them now. They fly them in.
- 31:16Speaker 1: It's a ceremony. No, I feel like L.A.
- 31:17Speaker 7: Would be the place that they would come to.
- 31:19Speaker 6: All those people that want to be in touch spiritually
- 31:21Speaker 6: and Joshua Tree and all that.
- 31:22Speaker 2: It's on the outskirts of L.A. It's in Cali, but
- 31:24Speaker 2: it's on the outskirts.
- 31:25Speaker 1: Which one?
- 31:25Speaker 2: Joshua Tree?
- 31:26Speaker 7: Joshua Tree?
- 31:27Speaker 2: I guess. I mean, it's not Joshua Tree, but.
- 31:29Speaker 4: It's like an area like that.
- 31:30Speaker 2: But I get what you're saying.
- 31:31Speaker 1: You like, yo, if I'm going to do it, I
- 31:32Speaker 1: want to do it out the country. I want to
- 31:34Speaker 1: do it somewhere. I got to be like a jungle.
- 31:36Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 31:36Speaker 1: Somewhere like that.
- 31:37Speaker 7: A jungle would scare the hell out of me.
- 31:39Speaker 3: When I first did it, that's what they told me.
- 31:40Speaker 3: It's like, everybody goes to Costa Rica and stuff like that.
- 31:42Speaker 2: It was like.
- 31:43Speaker 3: Why would you want your first experience?
- 31:44Speaker 2: What if it's harsh? You want to be in the jungle?
- 31:46Speaker 4: Low key.
- 31:46Speaker 2: I don't want to be in LA.
- 31:47Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't want to be in LA. If I'm jumping,
- 31:51Speaker 4: I'm jumping.
- 31:51Speaker 7: Right.
- 31:52Speaker 4: Damn. We're going to do it.
- 31:53Speaker 2: Let's do it.
- 31:54Speaker 1: We're going out.
- 31:54Speaker 4: We're going out.
- 31:55Speaker 2: We're doing it.
- 31:55Speaker 4: But that's what the shamans are for. You want to
- 31:57Speaker 4: do it across the street from like an off-Broadway warehouse
- 32:00Speaker 4: on fucking Hollywood.
- 32:02Speaker 1: No.
- 32:02Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. That's what your view should be.
- 32:05Speaker 4: I'm proud that she was in the hangover. And that
- 32:06Speaker 4: was across the street.
- 32:07Speaker 1: That's crazy.
- 32:08Speaker 2: It's the country.
- 32:08Speaker 3: But I'll tell you something. Everything you're dealing with, it's
- 32:11Speaker 3: going to be like shit on this table. You'll be
- 32:13Speaker 3: looking at it like, oh, shit. It's like somebody holding
- 32:16Speaker 3: your head like, don't look away.
- 32:18Speaker 2: Look at it.
- 32:18Speaker 1: Crazy.
- 32:19Speaker 4: It happened.
- 32:20Speaker 2: Let it go.
- 32:21Speaker 4: I'm amped. I'm amped. I'll say this. I've been tempted
- 32:28Speaker 4: to do this sort of guided, heroic mushroom journey where
- 32:31Speaker 4: it's the same kind of thing. It's the same goal.
- 32:34Speaker 4: I'm just freaked out.
- 32:35Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 32:36Speaker 2: What are you scared of? Me.
- 32:38Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying.
- 32:39Speaker 2: Like, you know you, though.
- 32:41Speaker 4: But, like, you're gaming. I know. That's why my fear
- 32:44Speaker 4: is anchored in reality.
- 32:46Speaker 2: It's going to be there regardless. Yeah.
- 32:48Speaker 6: What changed in your life? Or, like, what are you
- 32:50Speaker 6: thinking about? Like, sometimes people get here because it's like, okay,
- 32:53Speaker 6: I'm thinking about children. Or, like, what kind of reversed
- 32:58Speaker 6: all of this for you?
- 32:59Speaker 7: Like, what was that, like?
- 33:00Speaker 4: I don't know if it was a reverse. It was
- 33:01Speaker 4: just an exhaustion. Just tired of life.
- 33:04Speaker 1: Okay.
- 33:04Speaker 7: I can understand that.
- 33:06Speaker 4: Tired of just pulling myself to the next thing, to
- 33:11Speaker 4: the next thing, knowing that there's just gunk I need
- 33:16Speaker 4: to deal with, you know?
- 33:18Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
- 33:19Speaker 6: That's what I meant earlier about, like, your body doesn't
- 33:21Speaker 6: physically tell you, like, yo, this is not it.
- 33:23Speaker 1: It does.
- 33:23Speaker 6: Like, my body will physically be like, you are fighting
- 33:26Speaker 6: against what is already happening.
- 33:28Speaker 1: Stop.
- 33:29Speaker 4: I think it's one of my, like, best attributes and
- 33:33Speaker 4: it becomes maladaptive at a certain point but it's my
- 33:35Speaker 4: resilience i think i just you know i'm resilient and
- 33:41Speaker 4: my ambition is just sickening yeah you know i think
- 33:45Speaker 4: i can tolerate a lot more spiritually than most and
- 33:49Speaker 4: emotionally than most i think because i had to i
- 33:51Speaker 4: think during childhood i was the one that was kind
- 33:53Speaker 4: of having to run around to everybody's room after a
- 33:57Speaker 4: fight to make sure everyone was good yeah monitoring everyone
- 34:00Speaker 4: you know i mean so like i think how that
- 34:03Speaker 4: translates to being an adult is whatever I'm going through
- 34:07Speaker 4: is not priority, you know, until now, until it gets
- 34:11Speaker 4: to a point where you're like, I can't push it
- 34:13Speaker 4: down anymore. Right. I got to deal with it, you know?
- 34:16Speaker 4: So I think when I first blew up, it was,
- 34:19Speaker 4: there was so much going on that it was not
- 34:21Speaker 4: easy to ignore, but with the alcohol and with how
- 34:23Speaker 4: fast my life was moving, it was kind of easy ish.
- 34:26Speaker 4: And I think you're right. I think during COVID, that's
- 34:28Speaker 4: really when it like ramped up for me and I
- 34:30Speaker 4: didn't have a therapist. Like I had never done, I
- 34:32Speaker 4: was like very anti-therapy, you know? Um, and then 2022
- 34:36Speaker 4: I got one and it was life changing for sure.
- 34:39Speaker 4: But you said something earlier about how we've all, you know,
- 34:41Speaker 4: like done things that only, you know, it's like people's
- 34:44Speaker 4: wildest dreams. I also think it's so, we're so lucky
- 34:47Speaker 4: that I don't know when everyone started their journey, but
- 34:49Speaker 4: I assume young. Cause I feel like if I try
- 34:52Speaker 4: to start this now, Oh, wow, yeah. Like, I'm too aware.
- 34:57Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 34:58Speaker 1: No, you're right.
- 34:59Speaker 4: When I was 17, deciding to go after this, there's
- 35:03Speaker 4: a certain youthful oomph that you just have.
- 35:06Speaker 2: You don't give a fuck. Yeah.
- 35:07Speaker 4: You're not like, self surveilling internally yet. You don't know what,
- 35:11Speaker 4: you don't know any of, you don't care.
- 35:12Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 35:14Speaker 4: When I say I ain't give a fuck. Right. I
- 35:16Speaker 4: ain't give a fuck. I didn't even possess the ability to.
- 35:18Speaker 2: We heard you just.
- 35:22Speaker 6: But all of our journeys at that time, it's like
- 35:24Speaker 6: you needed that. Even if now you look at it
- 35:26Speaker 6: and you're like, okay, I had to change this or
- 35:28Speaker 6: change that. But like you needed that at that time
- 35:30Speaker 6: and it couldn't, it wouldn't even be the same.
- 35:33Speaker 4: At this point.
- 35:33Speaker 7: Like you had to do that.
- 35:34Speaker 4: But it also compounds, you know what I mean? So like, yeah,
- 35:36Speaker 4: at 17, I didn't feel the weight that I do now.
- 35:40Speaker 4: That's because that was 16 years ago. It's like after
- 35:43Speaker 4: a while, it's just everything you're dealing with and not
- 35:46Speaker 4: dealing with compounds.
- 35:47Speaker 1: And then you're growing up at the same time too.
- 35:50Speaker 2: Yeah, and the responsibility.
- 35:51Speaker 1: Mindset, mental, it's changing.
- 35:54Speaker 3: Do you remember that period when it felt like the
- 35:56Speaker 3: internet genuinely enjoyed fucking with you?
- 36:00Speaker 2: Yeah. There was an anti-Russ campaign.
- 36:03Speaker 4: My boy was just telling me, I think it was 2018,
- 36:05Speaker 4: he reminded me, He was like, there was a list
- 36:08Speaker 4: that came out. I don't remember the list, but he
- 36:10Speaker 4: was telling me yesterday. Of most hated people in the world.
- 36:15Speaker 4: And it was like an end of year list. Trump
- 36:17Speaker 4: was number one. I think Logan Paul was number two
- 36:20Speaker 4: for like the Forrest thing. And then me. And then
- 36:25Speaker 4: Kim Jong-un. And then Kim Jong-un. I think KD was
- 36:28Speaker 4: number three because he went to the Warriors. And then
- 36:31Speaker 4: me and then Kim Jong-un. It's like, what? It's nuts.
- 36:35Speaker 4: But I remember that time vividly.
- 36:38Speaker 3: What part of that criticism was unfair? And what part
- 36:41Speaker 3: did you eventually realize, you know what, I might have
- 36:42Speaker 3: earned it?
- 36:45Speaker 4: The delivery of my message was harsh, but I stand
- 36:48Speaker 4: by my message. I was just calling out glorification of
- 36:53Speaker 4: substance abuse. You know, as we talk about.
- 36:56Speaker 2: You wasn't wrong.
- 36:56Speaker 4: To the ayahuasca and mushrooms.
- 36:58Speaker 2: Those are plant-based medicines. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 37:01Speaker 4: No, I wasn't wrong. That was a crazy time in
- 37:03Speaker 4: rap where it was just like... it felt like everyone
- 37:07Speaker 4: was glorifying just hard drugs and being on them. You
- 37:12Speaker 4: know what I mean?
- 37:13Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 37:13Speaker 2: You completely won that argument.
- 37:15Speaker 4: Sadly.
- 37:16Speaker 3: When you look back in hindsight and look at all
- 37:18Speaker 3: the people we've lost, you completely won that argument.
- 37:21Speaker 2: Because it wasn't nothing to be debated.
- 37:23Speaker 4: Well, I mean, again, me and my friends always talk
- 37:25Speaker 4: about it. It's like, you know there's something backwards going
- 37:27Speaker 4: on in society if you come out and say, like,
- 37:32Speaker 4: stop doing all these drugs and promoting them. And you're
- 37:36Speaker 4: the bad guy. Like, I'm the asshole. It's like, got it. Okay.
- 37:40Speaker 2: You know.
- 37:42Speaker 4: But again, to me, that was counterculture. You know, culture
- 37:45Speaker 4: was not trying to hear that. It was counterculture to
- 37:48Speaker 4: come out and be like, Xanax and lean is done.
- 37:52Speaker 4: And you guys are losers. I was really talking to
- 37:53Speaker 4: white kids, too. Because I was that young white kid
- 37:57Speaker 4: who wanted to try lean because I heard it in
- 37:59Speaker 4: a rap song. I was talking to them, because I
- 38:01Speaker 4: grew up with them. I'm like, you guys are losers.
- 38:03Speaker 4: I know, because I was one.
- 38:06Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
- 38:06Speaker 2: Why people don't put you in the white rapper category?
- 38:08Speaker 4: They don't think that I'm white.
- 38:09Speaker 2: Y'all knew I was white?
- 38:10Speaker 4: I did.
- 38:11Speaker 1: No, I don't think so.
- 38:14Speaker 7: I had to look up, like, because you're, like, Italian
- 38:16Speaker 7: and Sicilian. I had to look that up.
- 38:18Speaker 4: So, like, Italian and Sicilian. Y'all not white. Y'all, like, off-white.
- 38:21Speaker 1: Y'all use seasonings.
- 38:22Speaker 4: I'm not, like, Virginia white. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 38:25Speaker 7: But see, but that's what made me look, because I'm.
- 38:26Speaker 2: Like, you white, but you're not Virginia white.
- 38:28Speaker 1: No, because you know.
- 38:29Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
- 38:30Speaker 7: It's categories of white. And I was like, well, why?
- 38:32Speaker 7: Where is the flavor he trying to, like, grab? Where
- 38:35Speaker 7: did that come from? So I looked it up, and
- 38:36Speaker 7: I was like, oh, okay.
- 38:37Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, they don't put me in that. It's strange.
- 38:40Speaker 2: Neville.
- 38:41Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 38:42Speaker 4: It's cool, though. You know what I mean? Just in
- 38:45Speaker 4: some gray area.
- 38:46Speaker 1: Can you cook?
- 38:48Speaker 2: No, not at all.
- 38:49Speaker 1: Yeah, you white.
- 38:50Speaker 4: No, I'm joking.
- 38:51Speaker 1: I'm joking.
- 38:51Speaker 2: You can't cook?
- 38:53Speaker 1: Yeah, but he can cook, though.
- 38:54Speaker 2: I can make a pasta.
- 38:55Speaker 4: Yeah, he can cook, damn.
- 38:57Speaker 6: You're Italian? I mean, he literally will like- Oh, you're Sicilian?
- 39:00Speaker 6: Pasta's from scratch.
- 39:01Speaker 4: Sure he is.
- 39:02Speaker 7: Sauce is from scratch.
- 39:02Speaker 4: For real?
- 39:03Speaker 7: Yeah, you just- Rapping.
- 39:06Speaker 4: I got money and got a chef.
- 39:07Speaker 7: I know, that's right.
- 39:09Speaker 1: That's right.
- 39:09Speaker 4: Such a cop out.
- 39:11Speaker 2: Do you still need people to doubt you to motivate you?
- 39:13Speaker 4: No, not at all. No, that just doesn't even do
- 39:18Speaker 4: anything for me anymore. I think, well, that's not true.
- 39:22Speaker 4: That's not all the way true. Strangers doubting me doesn't
- 39:25Speaker 4: do anything for me. You know what I mean? If
- 39:27Speaker 4: there's people around me, if there's any sort of betrayal,
- 39:30Speaker 4: in my life that feels like it's based in you
- 39:35Speaker 4: not believing in me anymore, that fuels me for sure.
- 39:40Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 39:42Speaker 4: You know when you feel like people who are around you,
- 39:44Speaker 4: they just like, they all of a sudden take your
- 39:47Speaker 4: association for granted. And it's clear it's because, oh, you
- 39:51Speaker 4: don't believe in this anymore. That fuels me. That's a
- 39:55Speaker 4: little bit more intimate.
- 39:57Speaker 2: Is that healthy?
- 39:59Speaker 1: Hell no.
- 40:00Speaker 2: No.
- 40:00Speaker 1: I don't know people like that.
- 40:01Speaker 4: No, it's not healthy. But whatever. Do you get rid
- 40:06Speaker 4: of those people when you start saying that?
- 40:07Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 40:08Speaker 7: You say you don't have no friends?
- 40:10Speaker 1: Get the fuck up out of here. Okay, cool.
- 40:12Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 40:12Speaker 4: What is that?
- 40:13Speaker 7: You said you don't have no friends.
- 40:14Speaker 4: You tried to find friends.
- 40:15Speaker 1: Well, I didn't say that.
- 40:16Speaker 4: I didn't say I don't have no friends. He said
- 40:18Speaker 4: he don't have people in the studio with him, yo.
- 40:20Speaker 2: What's scary to you?
- 40:21Speaker 3: Putting out an album and letting people judge your ideas
- 40:24Speaker 3: and the music or being in a movie and people
- 40:27Speaker 3: judging whether you can act?
- 40:32Speaker 4: The album. It's higher stakes.
- 40:34Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 40:34Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 40:35Speaker 4: Because it's like, that's what I'm supposed to be good at.
- 40:37Speaker 4: You know what I mean? That's my thing. So at
- 40:42Speaker 4: the same time when I just played in that celebrity
- 40:45Speaker 4: big three all-star game, I was so nervous because I
- 40:47Speaker 4: was like, well, I'm about to be judged. on my
- 40:50Speaker 4: performance of something I don't do. You know what I mean?
- 40:53Speaker 4: And so that felt scary. It's like, don't judge me
- 40:57Speaker 4: for this. Come listen to my songs. I don't know.
- 41:00Speaker 4: I'll see how it feels when the movie's actually out.
- 41:03Speaker 3: I feel like if this movie is successful, I see
- 41:06Speaker 3: Russ starting to invest in film.
- 41:08Speaker 4: I'm working on mine next.
- 41:11Speaker 1: Oh, shit. That's what's up.
- 41:13Speaker 2: The biopic?
- 41:14Speaker 4: Yeah. Not the full life story, but the juiciest part,
- 41:18Speaker 4: the come up. So, yeah.
- 41:20Speaker 1: That's what's up.
- 41:21Speaker 2: Dope. Yeah. Well, listen, Russ, man, always a pleasure. The
- 41:24Speaker 2: new movie, Don't Move. It's out, what, September?
- 41:26Speaker 1: September 11th. September 11th. Theater's nationwide.
- 41:29Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay, salute to the Murray. What's my guy's name? Murray.
- 41:32Speaker 4: James Murray.
- 41:33Speaker 2: James Murray. Yeah. Salute to my guy, James Murray. And
- 41:36Speaker 2: when the album's coming, Elephant and the Rider?
- 41:38Speaker 4: I don't know. I thought it was done, and then
- 41:40Speaker 4: I realized it wasn't. There's just so much more going
- 41:42Speaker 4: on internally than I anticipated.
- 41:44Speaker 1: Period.
- 41:45Speaker 2: Yeah. You unpacking a lot, man. I can tell.
- 41:47Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 41:47Speaker 4: Well, you know, it's interesting. It's like Santiago was this
- 41:49Speaker 4: excavation album, the start of it. And then Wild, my
- 41:52Speaker 4: last one from last year, was sort of this like
- 41:58Speaker 4: reconciling with myself by saying, you know what? I understand
- 42:02Speaker 4: I've been keeping myself locked in this cage because I'm
- 42:05Speaker 4: scared of the unknown. I'm scared to get hit again.
- 42:07Speaker 4: I got hit by the world.
- 42:08Speaker 2: Right.
- 42:08Speaker 4: And now I'm scared to go out there again. So
- 42:10Speaker 4: let me unlock myself from that. Let me go out here.
- 42:13Speaker 4: And now the elephant in the rider is like, okay, well,
- 42:15Speaker 4: it's one thing to unlock yourself from the cage and
- 42:17Speaker 4: go back out into the unknown. It's a whole other
- 42:19Speaker 4: thing to feel okay while you're back out there. So
- 42:23Speaker 4: I didn't anticipate not feeling okay.
- 42:26Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
- 42:28Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 42:28Speaker 4: But that's what inevitably is going to come with like, okay,
- 42:33Speaker 4: you're going back out into the unknown knowing it's scary
- 42:36Speaker 4: and all these things. So you're naturally not going to
- 42:39Speaker 4: feel okay about it, but you have to do it anyway.
- 42:40Speaker 4: But let's unpack why you don't feel okay, and that's
- 42:43Speaker 4: the elephant.
- 42:44Speaker 2: So there's a point where constantly creating prevents you from
- 42:48Speaker 2: actually sitting with yourself.
- 42:49Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 42:50Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah. So how do you distinguish productivity from avoidance?
- 42:56Speaker 4: Making sure that when I'm making songs, it's, to put
- 43:02Speaker 4: it simply, therapy exercises. You know what I mean?
- 43:04Speaker 7: Gotcha.
- 43:05Speaker 4: Like I'm not trying to just be down there like,
- 43:07Speaker 4: Every once in a while, you just make some kind
- 43:09Speaker 4: of mindless shit, but I'm trying to really use the
- 43:14Speaker 4: music as the place to make sense of all of
- 43:17Speaker 4: this and get it out. Because I know I'm not
- 43:18Speaker 4: the only one dealing with it. I also think there
- 43:22Speaker 4: needs to be this kind of content in the landscape.
- 43:27Speaker 2: You know what I mean? This is my last question.
- 43:31Speaker 2: You just made me think about something else. What's the
- 43:33Speaker 2: difference between making the music I guess your fans want
- 43:36Speaker 2: in becoming a prisoner of what your fans expect from you.
- 43:40Speaker 2: I feel like you might be in that space.
- 43:42Speaker 4: No, I completely went away from that space. I was Mr.
- 43:45Speaker 4: Self-Help Book. You know what I mean? Now I'm like
- 43:48Speaker 4: making therapy songs. I guess your book didn't work. Fucking loser.
- 43:54Speaker 4: Could have swore he wrote a self-help book. Clearly you
- 43:58Speaker 4: needed help.
- 44:00Speaker 2: Yeah, no.
- 44:00Speaker 4: So I took a hard left with the brand identity.
- 44:03Speaker 4: Which was scary. You know what I mean? When I
- 44:06Speaker 4: did Santiago, which was like the first venture into like
- 44:10Speaker 4: kind of more introspective, honest, deeper music that is maybe
- 44:15Speaker 4: sad or whatever, but it was honest. It was scary
- 44:17Speaker 4: because I'm like, well, my fans know me for being
- 44:20Speaker 4: positive and manifestation and self-help and click your heels and
- 44:24Speaker 4: you can make it come true. You know, like how
- 44:26Speaker 4: is this going.
- 44:26Speaker 2: To go over? You're not linear though.
- 44:29Speaker 4: No, I agree. A hundred percent. That's what I'm learning
- 44:31Speaker 4: with this album. It feels like a backslide to be honest, but. yeah,
- 44:35Speaker 4: I think this is like the maturation of Russ as
- 44:38Speaker 4: an artist and human, you know? Dope.
- 44:41Speaker 2: Yeah. Dope.
- 44:42Speaker 3: Well, it's Russ, ladies and gentlemen. Don't move in theater,
- 44:44Speaker 3: September 11th. Thank you for joining us, bro.
- 44:46Speaker 4: Thank you.
- 44:47Speaker 2: Yes, sir. It's the Breakfast Club.