Latest / Kind of a Big Deal / If You're Not At The Table, You're The Meal

Transcript

If You're Not At The Table, You're The Meal · Kind of a Big Deal

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Hi everyone, welcome to Kind of a Big Deal.
0:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Kristen Belden.
0:06
SPEAKER_01: If you're new here, hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: Quick note before we get into this one.
0:11
SPEAKER_01: This conversation was recorded a bit ago, so if you catch a reference that feels dated, that's why.
0:16
SPEAKER_01: But the heart of it holds up.
0:18
SPEAKER_01: Today's guest is Crystal.
0:19
SPEAKER_01: We worked together years ago when I had zero idea what a lobbying firm actually did.
0:25
SPEAKER_01: She and her team helped me understand how government really works and made me feel comfortable in rooms that used to intimidate the hell out of me.
0:33
SPEAKER_01: Crystal comes from a family of public servants, cut her teeth in congressional affairs at the Department of Commerce, and eventually made her way to Capitol Hill and into government relations and lobbying at the highest level.
0:47
SPEAKER_01: We talk about what pulled her into this work and never let go, why public disengagement from government has gotten worse, not better, and what it actually takes to explain something complicated in a way people can feel.
0:59
SPEAKER_01: We also get into the muscle you build from trying something new, even when it's terrifying, and what legacy means when it's less about the career and more about who you showed up for.
1:10
SPEAKER_01: Meet Crystal.
1:14
SPEAKER_01: Crystal! Hello, Kristen, how are you?
1:18
SPEAKER_01: I'm so good, and I am just super happy to be sitting here with you today.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: Um I am just really, really, really excited for this conversation.
1:28
SPEAKER_01: I feel like it's not often that I get to have this chat with somebody that I haven't gotten to see in quite some time.
1:34
SPEAKER_01: And the reality is we've never actually even met in person, which is kind of wild when you think about it.
1:41
SPEAKER_01: I know.
1:43
SPEAKER_01: Crystal and I were just catching up a bit before we started recording, and we were reflecting on the fact that we met back when I really had no clue what a lobbying firm did on behalf of its clients.
1:55
SPEAKER_01: I literally had no idea.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: And I was working for an org whose mission was to create equitable workforce pathways.
2:03
SPEAKER_01: And Crystal was part of the lobbying firm that helped really position us to make change and advocate for the issues that we cared about.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: And part of why I'm starting with that is because we were also reflecting a lot on this idea that we as a public truly don't understand how our government works.
2:19
SPEAKER_01: And I I want to get there at some point because I think it's so important, and there's no one better than Crystal to speak into that, and you'll hear why.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: But her team, they were just absolute rock stars in their work, but more importantly for me at the time, it's funny because she was just reflecting that I, in my position, helped make their team feel comfortable.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: And my reflection before we started this chat was they made me feel so comfortable because you know you're going into these spaces where it can feel very intimidating, where it's like, I don't know anything about the politics of this, I don't understand how this works.
2:54
SPEAKER_01: They were so patient with me as they were trying to kind of get me up to speed, which never happened, by the way.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: I never actually got up to speed.
3:01
SPEAKER_01: I got as far as I could go, I think.
3:03
SPEAKER_01: But they shared their knowledge so freely and really helped me understand, you know, some of the spaces that were so brand new and never got frustrated, outwardly at least, when I asked the same question.
3:17
SPEAKER_01: 45 times.
3:18
SPEAKER_01: I must have there was a few times where I'm like, I know I've asked this, and I know I have it in my notes somewhere, but it's just not clicking for me.
3:24
SPEAKER_01: Crystal is like the true definition of a powerhouse in government relations policy and lobbying.
3:31
SPEAKER_01: And we did some really fun and important work together, and I did am just really, really excited to have her here to chat with us.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: So, Crystal, thank you so much for being here.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: Um I've been looking forward to this.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: I really, really have.
3:47
SPEAKER_00: I even dressed up.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: You did, and I love it.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: It's I have a kilt on.
3:54
SPEAKER_01: Wait, do you for real?
3:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: Oh, what I don't I've gotten into kilts.
3:59
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, this is a whole other we have to talk about people's understanding of their government and kilts.
4:06
SPEAKER_01: I feel like those are two sides of the spectrum that we're gonna have to get into here.
4:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:11
SPEAKER_01: I think where I'd like to start with you because you've had this long career in these spaces, and where do I want to start?
4:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm rethinking this now because I feel like so much of what we were just chatting about is people's real relationship to their government and to the public sector.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: So maybe we will start with you.
4:32
SPEAKER_01: What pulled you toward this work in the first place and what kept you there once you got a peek behind the curtain and really started to kind of see the inner workings of how this all goes down?
4:44
SPEAKER_00: Well, my family is a family of public servants.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: Because I've lived in the Washington, D.C.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: area.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: The federal government is here.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: And my dad worked in the federal government for 41 years.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: My sister worked at the federal government.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: She just retired early this year.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh congratulations.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: 39 years.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: And then I decided to go into the family business.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: And fortunately, I worked at the Department of Commerce, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, and the Office of Congressional Affairs.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
5:20
SPEAKER_00: And that's when I got the bug.
5:22
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: And it was literally like they're the congressional liaison for the federal agency.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: And it was fascinating.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, oh, I want to do this for a living.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: I want to be involved in politics.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: That's where it started for me.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: And I and I totally loved it.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: And I always had I had a great female boss.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: And she was a powerhouse.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: And this was during the tail end of the Reagan administration.
5:51
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: And I I learned a lot.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: And I and that's when I learned, I was like, I want to do this.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: I really want to do this.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: And that's when my interest just peaked.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, and and it has not stopped, unfortunately.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: I mean, because I still retain stuff.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: And it was like, I want to do this for a living.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: And I was working my way through college.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: And it's just like, I'm like, oh gosh.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I was like, I want to work on the hill.
6:19
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I really want to do this.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: And no one in my family had ever done it.
6:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh, interesting.
6:24
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: And and it was just like, it was just, you know, okay.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: It was like, okay, I'm studying government and politics in school, minored in speech communication, even though I didn't know I had to get have a minor, and I did.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: And it just worked hand in hand.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: And I've done internships, fellowships, and I just I love everything government.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's just it because it impacts you.
6:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people like what you said earlier offline with me, when it starts impacting them personally, then they pay attention.
6:59
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: And people need to start paying attention before that.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: Because if you're not at the table, you're going to be the meal.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: Is that is that your quote, or is that?
7:13
SPEAKER_01: No, I've heard this from other people and it's the truth.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: It is so good.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: That is a t-shirt needing to be made if it's not already.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: I mean, and it's just, I mean, and you know, and I I am a political junkie.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: I even when I'm like, if I'm like not feeling well, if I have a flu or whatever, Kristen, I'm at home watching C SPAN.
7:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's not surprising to me at all.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm at home watching C-SPAN.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: And it's just like, are you kidding me?
7:38
SPEAKER_00: And it's just like, and I always try and update everybody on what's going on, and they're like, Crystal, when are you gonna turn it off?
7:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: And I go, I I go, I do, but you know, I was like, it's for me, this is fun.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: This is fun.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: And thank God for people like you, because then we can also then help, you know, share that back out.
7:58
SPEAKER_01: I think that the tricky thing is, how do you then make that information interesting and fun for folks who may not consume it in the same way, who may not, you know, turn on C-SPAN for fun, but do care about learning and do care about understanding how things work, right?
8:17
SPEAKER_01: And I think we were just talking about this.
8:19
SPEAKER_01: You are the kind of person who can kind of bridge that gap between taking some really complex, seemingly dry information and and sharing it back out with the world in a way that goes, oh, wait, okay, I actually get that, or I understand that, or that's interesting to me, or I can see why I should be interested in it.
8:38
SPEAKER_01: There's a whole, whole rabbit hole that I think we could go down around why you think folks might not be as, you know, kind of um engaged with.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: I am curious if you feel like you've seen that change over the years.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: Like have you seen have you seen folks become more disaffected, or is this just been a truth since the dawn of time, as far as you're concerned?
9:00
SPEAKER_00: It's been, I mean, it it it for me it's been interesting.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: It's just like it's always been like this, but now it's been it's been acerbated.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: I mean, to a level that I've never seen before.
9:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: That it's the apathy.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: And it also has to do with misinformation, disinformation on social media.
9:22
unknown: Yeah.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: Because growing up, we didn't, I didn't have Twitter or X, I didn't have Facebook, you know, I didn't have TikTok.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I only joined TikTok two years ago.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: Which we need to talk about, by the way.
9:34
unknown: Yeah.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, but people, it's just like they get in their silos, and you know, and it's still like, okay, and you would be surprised how people don't even know who their member of Congress is.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: And I don't think I would be surprised, actually.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: I think there is a we were chatting about this too, how civics are actually civics is not necessarily taught in schools any longer.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: And that's problem number one.
10:01
SPEAKER_01: But even with that, right, self-admittedly, I was sharing with Crystal that you can learn all of these things when you are younger, when you're going through school, but like if it doesn't pique an interest at that stage of your life, if as you're in elementary high school, you're not you're kind of like, eh, this isn't my jam.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: I'm not super, I just don't care.
10:21
SPEAKER_01: I don't see why I would care.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: There's a huge gap between that and then when you come into adulthood and you're in the workforce and you're trying to build a life and you're trying to understand.
10:31
SPEAKER_01: And I have not found any great educational content for this, for what's next, right?
10:38
SPEAKER_01: Like it's like, how do we then capture folks?
10:40
SPEAKER_01: And I feel the same way.
10:41
SPEAKER_01: I was in, you know, the journalism and media space for a long time.
10:44
SPEAKER_01: And it's sure we can teach, you know, like media literacy and whatnot in school, but to get somebody to actually care about it, to get somebody to actually understand the importance of why a free press is the backbone of our democracy, you have to actually have to live a life a little bit, I think.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: Unless you are the type of person who've been to your point kind of caught by that bug or, you know, something kind of pulled them in.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: It's like, okay, now that we're all in a life, how do we then build in content or interesting, you know, something for folks to engage with?
11:17
SPEAKER_01: And I do think we're kind of jumping way ahead now.
11:20
SPEAKER_01: But Crystal had a podcast for some time and it's on a bit of a hiatus right now.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: But I'd love for you to talk a little bit about the TikTok channel you started during the shutdown, because I think this is exactly kind of what we're talking about, which is I think for anybody listening who's interested in content creation at all, this is such a great example of how you can start over here, and then even if it has to pause for a minute, you can start something anew.
11:45
SPEAKER_01: And if you have something to say and you have a point of view, then folks are going to find an interest.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: So maybe tell us a little bit about why you started that.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: It was literally because having gone through a government shutdown when I was a teenager, and then having gone through a government shutdown when I worked on Capitol Hill, the frustration of it, and the fact that folks just didn't really understand what was going on, and it was different this time.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: This shutdown was different.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Tell us because it was it was literally like both sides, both parties were like, I'm right, I am right.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm fighting the righteous cause, I'm right.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: Did your mail stop coming during the shutdown?
12:32
SPEAKER_00: I got my passport renewed during the shutdown.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: I was sitting there and I go, when I went through the shutdown during President Clinton's time, everything shut down.
12:44
SPEAKER_00: And so this was different, and a lot of people were like, I just got to the point, I said, I just need to tell folks what's going on.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: And I would say, hey, I call my followers citizen legislators.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Because that's who they are, because that's what this country was supposed to be founded on.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Politicians were supposed to be citizen legislators, they would go back home once they finished their public service, you know, but now it's turned into something that everybody's like, I don't want to deal with it.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: But the main reason why I did it, Kristen, was because I wanted folks to just understand what was happening in the United States Senate.
13:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: And just focusing on the legislative activity with the continued resolution, not even getting into my political beliefs, just straight no chaser.
13:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: Telling folks, okay, this is what's going on.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: I would do it in 60 seconds.
13:37
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I would do it in two minutes.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: And then I would give them a link, you know, to an article or to something else, to one of the House or Senate leadership offices, their websites or whatever.
13:50
SPEAKER_00: And it was literally like from October from September 30th to November, I think, 9th.
13:59
SPEAKER_00: That's I I did videos.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: Oh, no, all the way, no, the 12th, I did videos.
14:04
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
14:05
SPEAKER_00: And I and it was literally, I was like, okay, I was like, let me just do this just to update everybody.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: And then it just became a mission because I because a lot of people were scared.
14:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: They were really, really scared.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: And I and a lot of furloughed employees reached out to me and they said, I'm not getting this information anywhere.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: You're explaining this to me in layman's terms, even though I know it's technical.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm not seeing this on mainstream media.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm not.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, I was like, I'm just gonna keep this going.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I was doing updates like a couple of times a day.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: And it, I mean, and it was like, I mean, I could rattle it off because I I was trained to do this.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: Because I have a math, I have a certification, a graduate level certification in congressional studies.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I didn't know that.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I went to Catholic University to get my master's degree.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: I took one class, and the professor and I thought because he was thinking the threat theoretical.
15:09
SPEAKER_00: I was like, no, let's talk about the practical.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm living, I've lived the theoretical.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm now doing the practical because I was working on Capitol Hill.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I got a good grade, but I was like, no, I'm not doing this.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I'm not doing this.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: But it's just like literally, I just began to like it.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and just giving back.
15:31
SPEAKER_00: I like to pay it forward.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: I like to pay it forward, and I thought this was the opportunity to continue to pay it forward to folks who would DM me and say, I'm scared.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I haven't gotten a paycheck in a while.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: Can you just tell me when this is gonna end?
15:47
SPEAKER_00: And I said, I can't tell you that.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: I said, I'll update you every day when there's a major update in the Senate because the House was not in session for 43 days.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: Isn't that incredible?
15:59
SPEAKER_00: Isn't that and the Senate was in?
16:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so it's just like I I need people to really understand like before it impacts you personally, please start taking an interest on the local estate.
16:13
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
16:14
SPEAKER_01: Well, and though, and we were talking about this too, like just because it doesn't affect you doesn't mean it's not affecting your neighbor or the person, you know, whatever.
16:29
SPEAKER_01: Like the fact that you were sharing with me that when you went through a shutdown, you know, early career days, you never got retroactive pay.
16:37
SPEAKER_01: And I truly don't think that people have a full awareness of just how much you you can hear these words said, but when you really think and sit with what would I do if I didn't get paid?
16:51
SPEAKER_01: How would I live?
16:52
SPEAKER_01: How would I function?
16:52
SPEAKER_01: Imagine the fear, imagine, and to know that there are people in the world that are operating from a place of fear and from that to me is there has to be more empathy than just, you know, it's not just uh and I get it, we're all busy and we all have busy lives, we have to care about what's in front of us.
17:13
SPEAKER_01: And might we be a little bit more informed about what the folks that this is actually affecting what's happening for them?
17:21
SPEAKER_01: So I love that you did that, and I love that you are continuing this mission forward because I think we need it.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: And I think people are interested, even if like, but it can feel so I was chatting with a friend of mine, Kate, recently, who's very into like policy data, wonky, and but she uses language that humanizes everything in such a way that, and because it's such a human issue, all of these things are human issues at the end of the day, but we use terminology that can feel so removed from like the human aspect of it, and that's something I respect about her, it's something I respect about you because the way you help educate really is in this way that it feels like I can digest it and I can understand it, and that's a real, real incredible skill to have.
18:12
SPEAKER_01: You have to tell us the name of your TikTok channel because it's so good, and it was the podcast which we'll come back at some point, so you have to share it.
18:20
SPEAKER_01: Topless government.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: Yes, blowing the top off how your government works.
18:26
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: That is in my profile on my my TikTok profile.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: Yes, um, and people are like, What?
18:33
SPEAKER_00: And like when they look me up, they're like, Crystal, we've got something else.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: We didn't get you.
18:38
SPEAKER_00: I said, I'm sorry.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: I said it needed to be provocative.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I agree.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm trying to draw you in, and then once I draw you in, then I'm like, I'll we'll share with you.
18:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh, so this is what happened.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I some of the episodes that I did, I love schoolhouse rock.
18:57
SPEAKER_01: Yes, so good.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: I celebrated the 50th anniversary.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: I did an entire episode on schoolhouse rock.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: I did.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: And I actually I also because I used to work for a Louisiana member of Congress, Mardi Gras.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: We have Washington Mardi Gras every year here in DC.
19:17
SPEAKER_00: I did an entire episode on Washington Mardi Gras.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: That's so cool though.
19:21
SPEAKER_01: Again, like there is fun stuff here too.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: It's not just in the White House correspondence dinner.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: I did an episode on that.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's just like you know, I I I the one of the reasons why I'm able to do this is because I worked on the hill.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that I was trained when I was getting my graduate certification in this in congressional studies, I had to do the elevator speech.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: And what the moment that I started working for a senator, I had to do the elevator speech.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: Literally, I got on the elevator with him.
19:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, literally, the actual elevator elevator.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like explaining to him in rapid fire because we're going to the Capitol to talk to uh one of the appropriation uh subcommittee chairmans to talk about our priorities, and I had to do it in five minutes.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
20:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:14
SPEAKER_00: On a crowded elevator.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: And then there have been other times when, like when you're advising your member, you have to be up to speed on everything.
20:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: Like he he testified in front of the rules committee on several amendments that I drafted.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: He had to defend that.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: And then I had to explain to him in five minutes.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: And then he had to go and sit in front of his colleagues.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: And so it's like it's rapid fire, and that's what that's what's trained me over the years.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: Was that what a skill.
20:44
SPEAKER_01: I feel like this is for anybody who has any fear of public speaking, raising my hands.
20:52
SPEAKER_01: Did you okay?
20:53
SPEAKER_01: So I want to talk about this because I think this is fascinating.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: I this is a when I was with, so the company that I was with when Crystal and I worked together, um sh we were, we went to the hill.
21:05
SPEAKER_01: We went and descended upon the hill with all of our you know notes on how what we wanted to advocate for.
21:12
SPEAKER_01: And it was a true for anybody who has not experienced anything like that before, it is a real wild thing to be in these spaces.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: You have to remind yourself these are also just humans.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: I feel like we can really kind of put politicians on a pedestal, whether the pedestal is one that you want to see crumble or not.
21:34
SPEAKER_01: They're still on a pedestal, it's intimidating.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: You know, you feel like they must be 4,000 times smarter than you, and they must be, you know, and it so you can work yourself into a moment of like, whatever.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: And it was so fascinating to me to watch our team and who just kind of naturally was able to share the story of what we cared about, why we were advocating for what we were advocating for.
21:58
SPEAKER_01: Yes, data matters, yes.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Numbers matter, and if you're not telling the story of why we care about this, then it was just it would always fall flat.
22:06
SPEAKER_01: And so there had to be some connection to the story of it all.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: But I I hated this more than anything.
22:15
SPEAKER_01: I never knew that.
22:16
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I hated it.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: I hated it.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: I hate it.
22:19
SPEAKER_01: No, I mean I love the work to be clear.
22:21
SPEAKER_01: I loved I loved the experience.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: I hated being the one in the spotlight because we also then had our team watching us as we were doing this.
22:30
SPEAKER_01: This is to me my worst nightmare.
22:32
SPEAKER_01: Having everybody stare at me while I'm trying to make a convincing argument.
22:36
SPEAKER_01: Please give me any other job than that.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: And so I'm always super fascinated with folks who have honed this skill over time.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: This is a very specific one, but I think it applies to so many different things because you can also be building a business and need to have your elevator pitched down.
22:56
SPEAKER_01: You can be, you know, working on behalf in any external capacity for an organization and have to be able to, and I think it's really, really hard to do that well and in a way that feels natural and comfortable so that you are kind of like, I'm not trying to be woo-woo, but like you're you're centered in your body in such a way that you are able to express yourself.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: So maybe share a little bit more about how you went from having a little bit of a fear, and and I I recognize some of it as just time and experience, but like put us in your shoes in those early days to kind of like where you are now.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna shock you because I'm gonna tell you that the first time that I had to give a speech, sort of kind of a speech, I was eight.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: What in this church?
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay at church, okay, I had to give the prayer in front of the entire congregation.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: And do you can you feel it in your body?
23:52
SPEAKER_00: What do you think about that?
23:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: I was terrified.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was literally, I was physically shaking.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I know this feeling.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: And um, and I could just my voice, I was like, oh, just do it, just get through it.
24:05
SPEAKER_00: And then when I got through it, and the reaction, and I was like, oh, I was like, I wasn't expecting that because it was positive, because it was very positive, and then from that moment on, I was like, okay, I was like, this is kind of cool, okay.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: And then it just led to okay, you know, even like in high school, I was like, I would never forget they was like, hey, we want you to do a talk, and we did it was a panel discussion, and then they're I and they're like, oh, this is great, everybody's clapping.
24:43
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh, okay, I'm still terrified.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, I'm through, I'm getting through it.
24:49
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, literally, like, my knees were knocking, and I was like, okay.
24:54
SPEAKER_00: And then when I got into college, I'm like, I was like, oh, I wanted, I wanted to be a lawyer.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, I first majored in pre-law, and then I was like, mm-hmm.
25:04
SPEAKER_00: And I wasn't doing any communication classes or anything like that.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't until later when I transferred to the University of Maryland, and they were like, hey, you have to have get a minor.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what?
25:17
SPEAKER_00: I was like, why did y'all tell you didn't tell me this?
25:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: So they was like, do finance.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: I said, I'm not doing finance, I'm not good with numbers.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: It's a no for me.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: And so I did speech communications.
25:27
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, it opened up a brand new world for me.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: I learned about my jihari window.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: I learned about gender and communications and argumentation and debate.
25:46
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
25:47
SPEAKER_00: I took a class and we did the Lincoln Douglas style debate.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: And that's when I was like, I'm good at this.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: I am really good at this.
25:58
SPEAKER_00: When, and then when I decided, when I started working on Capitol Hill, after I finished up my fellowship through the Legislative Studies Institute, where I was getting my certification, my graduate level certification in congressional studies, one of my professors was the Senate parliamentarian.
26:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh wow.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: And I learned from I learned from him, God rest his soul, Bob Dove, and I learned from a Congressional Research Service, Alana Nichols, and I learned House Rules and Procedure.
26:31
SPEAKER_00: And so I learned about the whole parliamentarian system and how you communicate.
26:37
SPEAKER_00: And then that's when I was like, I got this.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: And then when I started working for a member of Congress, when I had to go down on the floor of the house, and then you also have to write speeches, and I had to write in my boss's voice, and then that's when I was like, okay, I got this now, I got this.
26:57
SPEAKER_00: But this is like real life and sometimes real life consequences, and I, you know, I try and get better at it every time that I can.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: I still get afraid, not gonna lie.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: Okay, even when I started my podcast, I was god awful.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was awful.
27:19
SPEAKER_00: I have a hard, really hard time believing that.
27:21
SPEAKER_01: No, I was awful.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: My podcast producer was just like, because I was so conscious of the cameras.
27:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yes, I get that.
27:31
SPEAKER_01: I do.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: And then I was banging on the table.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: He said, You have to stop me back.
27:37
SPEAKER_00: You're passionate.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: And he was like, he said, I need to see more of that.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: But and I go, okay.
27:45
SPEAKER_00: And I was reading the script, uh, and then finally I was like, and then when I get into it, I go, oh, okay.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I'm gonna need to read the script.
27:55
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
27:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I was like, okay, we can just talk off the cuff.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: And it got easier and easier.
28:01
SPEAKER_00: The more that you practice and the more that you do it, you hone your skills.
28:05
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: And I I love communicating with people, but what I also like is listening to people.
28:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm an October Libra.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm a September Libra.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: Peace beyond anything.
28:22
SPEAKER_01: I I just I just want everybody to be okay.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I go, I I go, because people get frustrated with me because I go out by myself a lot.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: Like over the weekend, I went to have afternoon tea by myself.
28:36
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that so much.
28:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: It is just like, and I learned how to be by myself at the age of 19.
28:43
SPEAKER_01: That's so interesting.
28:45
SPEAKER_01: I'm so curious about how all of that plays into like how you show up grounded and centered.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: Hey, quick pause before we get back into it.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: If you're listening to conversations like this one and something keeps nudging you, like, I know I'm at some kind of turning point.
29:04
SPEAKER_01: I just can't quite see it clearly yet.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: That's actually exactly what I do.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: I work with women leaders who are in the middle of something: a career shift, a business that's ready to evolve, a moment where what got you here just isn't cutting it anymore.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes what you need most isn't a whole program or a big engagement.
29:23
SPEAKER_01: You just need a few hours with someone who can help you see what you're too close to see yourself.
29:28
SPEAKER_01: That's the clarity session.
29:30
SPEAKER_01: It's a focused, one-on-one conversation where we dig into where you are, where you want to go, and what's actually in the way.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: You walk away with real direction, not a list of homework, but genuine clarity on your next move.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: If that sounds like what you need right now, I'd love to talk.
29:47
SPEAKER_01: You can find all the details at Beldenstrategies.com slash clarity.
29:53
SPEAKER_00: And that was that was it because I had to I learned that I had to work on myself first before I could be a well-rounded human being.
30:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
30:04
SPEAKER_00: And this plays into me being a lobbyist and an advocate.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: Because one of the things throughout my career, I would only stay in jobs for two and a half years because I wanted to learn certain skill sets, and then I moved on.
30:22
SPEAKER_00: And I was penalized because of that.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: But I was like, I don't care.
30:27
SPEAKER_00: I said, I'm like, I see something that other people didn't see.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: I I didn't know where my path was going to go, but I was like, I knew it was a path that was going to involve politics.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: And I said, okay, I need to learn how to.
30:45
SPEAKER_00: I've worked in state government, I've worked in city government, I've worked in the legislative branch of government on the federal level.
30:53
SPEAKER_00: I've worked in the executive branch of federal government.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: I've worked in corporate America.
30:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:00
SPEAKER_00: And I I said, I need to learn different skill sets to be well-rounded.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: And I and it's helped me out a lot in my career, which has been great because I don't want to be a one-trick pony.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: I just don't.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
31:13
SPEAKER_00: And I'm and to be honest with you, Kristen, I'm wired differently because I think outside the box.
31:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: And I and I had and I had to learn that at an early stage of my career.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, being a woman and being a black woman, I had to learn how to maneuver because I was living, I live in two worlds.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: I do.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: I live in two worlds.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: And I continue to struggle.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of my friends and family have seen that.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: And it's just like, you know, that's another part of it.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: It's just like, okay, you're in different worlds, you're trying to figure out how to maneuver, and you have to like take a step back and observe.
31:51
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's part of the communications part of it that has helped me a lot, particularly body language.
31:58
SPEAKER_00: That has helped me out tremendously.
32:01
SPEAKER_01: Tremendously.
32:03
SPEAKER_01: And will continue to.
32:04
SPEAKER_01: I feel like we I was just chatting about this with Kate also around the advent of AI.
32:10
SPEAKER_01: She's all very interested in you know the equitable workforce pathway conversations.
32:14
SPEAKER_01: And I was asking her about with the conversations happening around higher education and AI, and you know, do we feel like there might it be an opportunity to quote unquote level the playing field a little bit more?
32:29
SPEAKER_01: And or is it going to just exacerbate this massive gap that we already have between, you know, folks with access or opportunity and whatnot?
32:38
SPEAKER_01: And we were talking about how folks who have lived a life and who have had to learn to read a room and who have had to learn the subtlety of what it means to be in conversation and to know that this subtle little thing in your face might trigger something for me to be aware of or ask a follow-up question.
32:56
SPEAKER_01: Like for now, and hopefully for the foreseeable future, AI cannot replace that.
33:02
SPEAKER_01: No, that will be a skill set that will be hard.
33:08
SPEAKER_01: I think I don't know this.
33:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm not smart enough about AI to really have any clear like opinion about it, other than we can only hope that these are the kind of skills that will continue to help set us apart from the types of things that AI cannot do.
33:23
SPEAKER_01: I'm really curious too.
33:25
SPEAKER_01: I feel like you were just sharing something that I think is super important, which is when you started your podcast, you said you sucked.
33:34
SPEAKER_01: And there's yes, or whether that is true or not, there is something about what there is something about starting something, and I feel that deeply.
33:45
SPEAKER_01: I mean, when I started this over the summer, I was so cringy when I had to go back and re-watch it to edit it.
33:54
SPEAKER_01: I edit every single one and make sure that you know it has a flow or whatever.
33:58
SPEAKER_01: And having to hear my voice, having to see my face, it was horrible, horrible, horrible.
34:02
SPEAKER_01: It was like the worst ripping the band-aid off, I think that I've experienced in a very long time.
34:09
SPEAKER_01: Now, even after the first five, I was like, okay, like this doesn't feel as bad as it felt before.
34:17
SPEAKER_01: Now I'm in a place of like it's true enjoyment.
34:20
SPEAKER_01: And I think you have to find things that you're willing to continue to put effort into, even if you suck.
34:29
SPEAKER_01: And like I think that we as humans, that's really hard because we want to be really good at things right away.
34:36
unknown: Yes.
34:37
SPEAKER_01: And so I but I'm hearing you say that in general, even in the spaces that you occupy, you've had to continue to just keep showing up.
34:47
SPEAKER_01: You've had to continue to keep putting yourself out there.
34:51
SPEAKER_01: This is something that isn't is a hard-earned kind of skill, honestly, that you right, like you have had to navigate arenas and spaces where you were the only woman you've shared with me, now, you know, the only black woman, I think that I'd be curious if you if you see it that way, if you now look at some of the other things that you've started or you know, jumped in on.
35:18
SPEAKER_01: Like, do you think that though those two things are kind of like interwoven as it relates to just having to continue to like show up and be seen?
35:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: Particularly.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna bring up one of my former favorite shows, Scandal.
35:34
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's so good.
35:36
SPEAKER_01: Have you sorry, side note?
35:37
SPEAKER_01: Have you read Shonda Rhymes' book, Year of Yes?
35:40
SPEAKER_00: No, I need to.
35:41
SPEAKER_01: I need to.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: Read it, put it on the list.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: It's so, so, so, so good.
35:45
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, yeah, continue.
35:47
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
35:47
SPEAKER_00: The one episode with Olivia and Papa Pope, and when he finds out that she's the president's mistress, and they have that conversation as he's about to put her on that private jet.
36:00
SPEAKER_00: I always tell people, like, my father and I did not have that kind of conversation in that context, but it was he drilled in me early on.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: He's like, as a black woman, you have three strikes against you.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: You're black, you're a woman, and you're smart.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
36:18
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
36:19
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
36:20
SPEAKER_00: Hard to hear, but he basically was like, You're he's like, you're the smart one.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: He's like, you're the smart one, and so you're going to have to fight that fight.
36:32
SPEAKER_00: And when I tell people, I said, if you look at that episode, and the daughter and the father are having that conversation because in his mind, she's messed up because she's the president's mistress, but it's what they're saying to each other.
36:50
SPEAKER_00: And it's literally that conversation.
36:51
SPEAKER_00: My father said, I always had to work three times as hard.
36:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: Always.
36:58
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna be honest, I have been struggling with that, with everything that has been going on.
37:05
SPEAKER_00: Some of that, I believe personally for me is a lie.
37:09
SPEAKER_01: And I mean, what do you mean by that?
37:11
SPEAKER_00: What it's literally like you work hard, you get rewarded, and everything is gonna be fine.
37:18
SPEAKER_00: And you you do the right things, and everything's gonna be fine.
37:20
SPEAKER_00: I was like, well, I was like, no, that's not really true anymore.
37:24
SPEAKER_00: Right, and it's become disillusionment to me, and it's been hard, and I've had to face a lot of hard truths of late.
37:33
SPEAKER_00: And it's just like, and now that I've gotten older, I was like, you know what?
37:38
SPEAKER_00: That was how my parents were brought up.
37:41
SPEAKER_00: I have to start thinking in another manner, and I have to start maneuvering in another manner, and I've been doing that.
37:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to do it better, and I've been trying to like teach younger women, like, hey, you don't always have to do what your parents did.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, this is a brand new world, brand new circumstances, and I mean, but it it's difficult.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: I mean, because I'm a generation Xer, you know, we're the forgotten generation, yeah.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, I I you know, I was you know, brought up to be very independent, and my parents were like, go outside, and you know, don't let the street light hit your butt because you need to be home before the street lights turn on.
38:30
SPEAKER_00: And it's just like that's how we grew up.
38:33
SPEAKER_00: But it's just like some of the things that like you say, oh, if you work hard and you do this, but now with everything that has been going on in our world, and it's like that's a lie, yeah, yes, it's a lie, yes, and I and Chris, I have been struggling with that a lot.
38:49
SPEAKER_00: I have, and it's just and I know other women have as well, and it's just like you know, I'm at peace with it to a certain extent, but it's just like I was like, yeah, uh and and I just have to I have to keep pushing forward, I have to keep showing up, but I have to show up more with intention, yeah.
39:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's what I have to do, yeah.
39:16
SPEAKER_00: And I and I and I'm still doing that, I'm evolving, you know, and I'm just making sure, not always centering myself and then looking to others and saying, Hey, what do I need to like uplift you?
39:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, what's going on in your life?
39:33
SPEAKER_00: Because I've gotten to the point, like I'll reach out to friends that I haven't talked to in a while just to say hi and just say, I'm just calling to see how you're doing.
39:42
SPEAKER_00: I know we haven't talked in a while.
39:43
SPEAKER_00: I love it, yeah, but I'm being more intentional, yeah.
39:47
SPEAKER_00: You know, and it's just because life gets chaotic, and you're like, uh, I mean, besides that, it's just like I want to bring joy into the world, you know, because joy is resistance.
39:59
SPEAKER_00: It is, yeah, it's resistance, you know, and people have to bring joy, and that's one of the things that I've been doing this year.
40:07
SPEAKER_00: I do something joyful every month.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: I love it every month.
40:12
SPEAKER_00: That's why I've gone to seven concerts.
40:14
SPEAKER_01: I was just gonna say, tell us what joyful is for you.
40:17
SPEAKER_00: Music.
40:18
SPEAKER_00: Music.
40:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm a Prince fan.
40:20
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I am a print f I've been a Prince fan since I was 12.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
40:26
SPEAKER_00: And I've started, I I love Kendrick Lamar.
40:31
SPEAKER_00: And because Prince saw something in him, and this is all intertwined.
40:36
SPEAKER_00: I love Beyonce.
40:37
SPEAKER_00: I was not a Beyonce fan, I admired her, but Prince.
40:42
SPEAKER_00: The haters are gonna come for you on that.
40:44
SPEAKER_00: Well, no, but I I mean, but I was a Prince fan.
40:47
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I did enjoy her music, but Prince saw something in her, he mentored her, and then there's a just an interconnection.
40:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I went to see her twice this year.
41:00
SPEAKER_01: Wow, yes, and I've heard every time it's different.
41:02
SPEAKER_01: I've heard like she is just beyond, yes.
41:06
SPEAKER_00: So I'm in DC July 7th.
41:08
SPEAKER_00: It was hot.
41:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, it was so hot.
41:11
SPEAKER_00: Then I flew to Vegas.
41:13
SPEAKER_00: Also, yeah, and it was her last tour, it was our last concert date.
41:18
SPEAKER_00: Oh, amazing.
41:20
SPEAKER_00: I flew in the day of the concert, Kristen.
41:22
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
41:23
SPEAKER_01: And then flew out the next day.
41:26
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so we were just talking about Year of Yes from Shonda Rhimes, and you're literally hitting on exactly what the premise of her book is, which is say yes to first of all the things that bring you fear or might scare you.
41:42
SPEAKER_01: Like her whole account is of she was so used to saying no to things because that was her comfort, was to not put herself out there in that way.
41:50
SPEAKER_01: She lived almost vicariously through her characters, essentially.
41:54
SPEAKER_01: But she talks about how that intentionality is such a huge part of it because it's not just saying yes to everything for no reason.
42:04
SPEAKER_01: It's it's learning to hone also than saying yes to saying no, right?
42:09
SPEAKER_01: Like it's learning like what actually works for you and where you want to be spending your time and saying yes to those things, but with that is also saying yes to yourself, which is that it can also then mean a no for the things that either make me feel uncomfortable or do not feel like they're worth my time, or you know, whatever it is.
42:26
SPEAKER_01: And so I love you know, something that you were sharing earlier too, offline was that you are enjoying your life, there's there is an enjoyment there, and that you're you know having fun.
42:40
SPEAKER_01: And I think that for me is truly the North Star.
42:45
SPEAKER_01: It's a for me in the place that I'm at in my life, which is I spent many years pushing, striving, achieving, and there's nothing wrong with any of that.
42:57
SPEAKER_01: I don't want it to seem like that.
42:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm not but it was not with intentionality necessarily.
43:02
SPEAKER_01: Right, right?
43:03
SPEAKER_01: It was just like push, push, push, push, hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle.
43:06
SPEAKER_01: And now that I'm I've had a few years of reflection, that intentionality comes in differently.
43:12
SPEAKER_01: And I think one of the words I keep coming back to actually is not fun and joy are important, but it keeps coming back to juicy, which is like I want my life to feel juicy.
43:25
SPEAKER_01: I want it to feel filled with all the things, which is yes, joy and fun and adventure, but also heartbreak and sadness because, you know, and frustration and all of the things because that is, you know, what a life is.
43:41
SPEAKER_01: But I think I spent a lot of years maybe trying to only chase joy and happiness because that's what felt right at the time.
43:48
SPEAKER_01: And now, in reflection, I go, no, no, no.
43:51
SPEAKER_01: Some of the best things in my life have come out of some of the hardest times that I've gone through.
43:56
SPEAKER_01: But it's because I allowed myself to actually sit in the heart.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: And not run away from it.
44:01
SPEAKER_01: And I think that is not easy or fun, but deeply important.
44:07
SPEAKER_01: So I'm I would wonder for you, as you talk about the season of life that you're in now and you know, seeking the things that bring you joy and fun, could you have said that out loud, you know, five, ten years ago?
44:22
SPEAKER_01: Like is that something okay?
44:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
44:24
SPEAKER_00: Because it I mean, because I was so driven.
44:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
44:28
SPEAKER_00: I am uh if you'd have met me when I was younger, you would not have liked me.
44:33
SPEAKER_00: I was driven.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: And I mean, and that's why when I talk about everything was a lie, because I was so driven that I excluded a lot of things out of my life.
44:44
SPEAKER_00: I did.
44:44
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I was like, oh my, and I look back at it, I was like, oh my gosh.
44:48
SPEAKER_00: And I and I look at pictures of myself, and a lot of my friends are like, you are completely different from the first time I met you.
44:56
SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
44:58
SPEAKER_00: And it's because I was so driven, and now I am at a point in my life, personally and in my professional life, that I just I'm like, I do things with intention.
45:11
SPEAKER_00: I want to be more present.
45:14
SPEAKER_00: Um, particularly like when I'm at concerts.
45:19
SPEAKER_00: Because you know how everybody has their phone up.
45:21
SPEAKER_00: I try to do that.
45:21
SPEAKER_00: And they're like recording the whole thing, yeah.
45:24
SPEAKER_00: I I I did that at Beyoncé's last concert because her husband came out.
45:29
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh my gosh.
45:30
SPEAKER_00: And then Destiny's Child came out, and I couldn't help myself.
45:33
SPEAKER_00: But I was but I wanted, but I've been trying to live in the moment, and I've been doing that better, and just when I'm out with friends, having a great meal, having a great glass of wine, or even I'm, you know, at family dinner, just being there.
45:51
SPEAKER_00: Because I literally I put my phone away.
45:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
45:55
SPEAKER_00: And you know, I've been trying to teach my nieces that, and I'm like, I want to be more present.
46:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I really, really do.
46:02
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, and I've been working on this, and and it's been great, and I just want to continue to just like just have fun.
46:11
SPEAKER_00: And to be honest with you, I'm in the best shape of my life.
46:15
SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
46:16
SPEAKER_00: More so than I was when I was in my 20s.
46:19
SPEAKER_00: And it's just like, wow, like this is great.
46:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I feel wonderful, and I'm like, I could do so much, and yeah, it's great.
46:28
SPEAKER_00: It's I I I mean, I have nothing to complain about.
46:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what is I mean, there are things to complain about, but it's just like in the grand scheme of things, yeah, I'm content for the first time in my life.
46:42
SPEAKER_01: Really?
46:43
SPEAKER_01: That's so interesting.
46:45
SPEAKER_01: Do you think that there can you point to a moment or moments that started to create that shift for you?
46:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it it just it was when I left my former firm and I took the leap of faith of starting my own firm.
47:04
SPEAKER_00: And that's when I figured out I was like, oh, how am I gonna do this?
47:08
SPEAKER_00: I've never done this before.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: And it's trial by error.
47:11
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh gosh.
47:13
SPEAKER_00: And it was hard.
47:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
47:17
SPEAKER_00: Because I literally had to put myself out there in a way that I hadn't had to do before.
47:23
SPEAKER_00: And it was difficult, but then I learned a lot of things about myself, and I was like, whoa, I can really do this.
47:29
SPEAKER_00: Yes, whoa, I'm really good at business development.
47:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm I'm like, I can hustle, I could do this.
47:36
SPEAKER_00: And it's just it just became like, okay, you have learned more about your being and just getting it done.
47:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
47:48
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I was like, okay, I was like, I get it now.
47:50
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I I go, I get it.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I don't like it.
47:53
SPEAKER_00: I didn't like it.
47:55
SPEAKER_00: I didn't.
47:55
SPEAKER_00: Doing it.
47:56
SPEAKER_00: Because it was hard.
47:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was hard.
47:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
47:58
SPEAKER_00: It was very, very hard.
48:00
SPEAKER_00: I mean, printing out the invoices and billing clients and the lobbying disclosure form reporting, the financial reporting.
48:10
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, oh my gosh, when is this gonna stop?
48:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:14
SPEAKER_00: Never.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: Never.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: But I was just like, I I was like, uh, but I decided to go with another firm with a friend of mine that I've known for over 30 years, and you know, he makes it possible, he and my colleagues make it possible for me to be content.
48:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
48:31
SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is the first time in my life that I'm working with a group of people.
48:37
SPEAKER_00: I mean, we're it's only the four of us.
48:39
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
48:40
SPEAKER_00: And I find joy in them, and it's nice to come to work.
48:44
SPEAKER_00: It really, and especially that we get two o'clock snacks and happy hour.
48:52
SPEAKER_01: Yes, please.
48:53
SPEAKER_00: Yes, but it's just like I'm content, and it's I mean it's so nice.
48:58
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
48:58
SPEAKER_01: It really, really is content is the word.
49:01
SPEAKER_01: I feel like that is we can all be, you know, chasing the big, the shiny, the thing, but like ultimately, I I do feel like true peace comes from that level of feeling content because that is elusive, I think, for many of us.
49:19
SPEAKER_01: It's like, how do I get the next thing, or you know, whatever, it's never quite enough.
49:24
SPEAKER_01: Like, I think it's so interesting what you were sharing around entrepreneurship because I agree with you.
49:29
SPEAKER_01: It is one of the best ways to get to know yourself in a really quick amount of time.
49:33
SPEAKER_01: It is, and it doesn't have to be that it's the thing you choose forever in order for it to be right, like as you just shared, you still chose to then work with others, you you know, kind of went in-house, but that muscle of learning the things that you liked or didn't like, or how you were surprised yourself about being great at business development, right?
49:55
SPEAKER_01: These are things that in another situation or another space you might not have learned that quickly.
50:02
SPEAKER_01: And I think if I could share anything with anyone who's even considering it, it's like just go for it and try it.
50:10
SPEAKER_01: Because even if at the end of a year, two years, whatever, you decide that's not the path for you, you will have learned so damn much agree, yeah, about yourself.
50:21
SPEAKER_01: I mean, talk about seeing a mirror that you might not be wanting to see.
50:25
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
50:26
SPEAKER_01: But it's a great learning opportunity because you are doing everything and you are having to decide is this a thing that you want to be spending your energy on, or whatever it is.
50:38
SPEAKER_01: And I think that, like, what a great way to learn very, very quickly what works for you or what doesn't work for you, and is a muscle that you can fall back on too, though, if kind of to what you were saying earlier, the work hard, you know, stay dedicated, you get rewarded, I think that that narrative is crumbling in many different spaces.
50:58
SPEAKER_01: And to know that you have this lever that you can pull and go, okay, well, I know what it's like then to like do my own thing.
51:05
SPEAKER_01: I can always start that up again, I can always get that machine going again.
51:09
SPEAKER_01: And I think that that actually is a level of security that when we say quote unquote job security, that to me feels more secure than I've also I've also had the w rug pulled out from under me in a job, and so I think I can say, you know, from a from personal experience, like just because you think it's secure does not mean that it is so.
51:31
SPEAKER_01: And so, like, what are the things you can be doing to create that kind of to also your other point around being well-rounded, like is it's amazing to be an expert in something, and I am so in awe of the people that you know have chosen a path, but there is something I think to then what is the mechanism or the vessel for that that can shift, right?
51:51
SPEAKER_01: Like the way you're doing that in the world doesn't have to be for this one organization that you've been with for 20 years.
51:56
SPEAKER_01: Um again, nothing wrong with that, but like what is the alternative if that someone asked this question recently, it was probably on a podcast I listened to, but the question was what would you do if the world as you know it today no longer existed?
52:12
SPEAKER_01: Like, and not from a where do you find your joy, but like literally, what would you do from a logistics perspective?
52:18
SPEAKER_01: How would you make a living?
52:20
SPEAKER_01: How would you make a life?
52:22
SPEAKER_01: And I thought that was such a brilliant way of asking the question because I don't think we want to ask ourselves that very often.
52:28
SPEAKER_00: No, I mean it well, you know, we went through that in COVID.
52:32
SPEAKER_01: Totally, yes.
52:33
SPEAKER_00: We did, and I literally, I kid you not, I had never used Microsoft Teams.
52:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know.
52:40
SPEAKER_01: Isn't it crazy to think about now how we're like how we interact versus the way we were a year before COVID?
52:48
SPEAKER_01: Wild, how different it is.
52:50
SPEAKER_00: Well, what was funny was our uh the IT department where I was working at the time, they're like, oh yeah, you know, we're installing the Microsoft Teams.
52:58
SPEAKER_00: I was like, Oh, I'm never gonna use that.
53:00
unknown: Yeah.
53:01
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh my gosh.
53:03
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
53:04
SPEAKER_00: I I mean, I go, I I go, okay.
53:07
SPEAKER_00: Between that and Zoom, and then you know, I it just I'm just amazed.
53:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna say resilient because people just use that word a lot, and sometimes that can turn into a negative way.
53:21
unknown: Sure.
53:22
SPEAKER_00: It's just that people just have to learn to find their own pathways.
53:26
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, and even at my age, I'm still doing that.
53:30
SPEAKER_00: Because like literally, I have been talking about doing something for a long time, and my friends are tired of hearing me say this, and I'm like, and finally I'm like, all right, I'm gonna do it.
53:41
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I am gonna try and do it next year, and I'm just like, okay.
53:46
SPEAKER_00: But it's just like people just they'll figure it out.
53:50
SPEAKER_00: That's what I we always figure it out.
53:52
SPEAKER_01: It's like maybe it's adaptability, right?
53:54
SPEAKER_01: Not necessarily like yes, resiliency, but also, yes, you as we this is the other thing I think that comes with getting older or you know, growing up or whatever it is, you've seen enough of life to know that there's always the other side.
54:11
SPEAKER_01: Like you no matter what it is that you're going through, yes, even if the outcome is not what you have would have chosen, you will deal with it.
54:19
SPEAKER_01: Like you will find a way, like you will find a way to deal with whatever that new reality is.
54:24
SPEAKER_01: And it's like you just have to kind of get to that new reality.
54:27
SPEAKER_01: I think it's like that in the in-between and the unknown that it can feel even scarier than whatever the outcome actually is.
54:34
SPEAKER_01: I could talk to you for literally hours and all day long.
54:37
SPEAKER_01: And I wish This has been great.
54:39
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
54:40
SPEAKER_01: I will I have one more question for you though.
54:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
54:42
SPEAKER_01: If you if we can, we are right at the top of the hour, so you tell me.
54:46
SPEAKER_01: It's the question I ask every woman that I bring on the show.
54:49
SPEAKER_01: And so maybe you know this one already, but in thinking about what it means to be building a life that we are proud of and being intentional, so much of the work that I do with women is really around that.
55:01
SPEAKER_01: Like, how are you bridging the kind of internal growth with the external strategy for what you're building toward?
55:08
SPEAKER_01: And to me, all of that is in service of what is the legacy that you want to leave.
55:14
SPEAKER_01: And I think you know, sometimes that that word can feel a little weighted, but ultimately for me it's one of lightness and excitement, which is we're living it today and we're building it today.
55:25
SPEAKER_01: And so I like to ask everyone, Crystal, what does building a legacy mean to you?
55:31
SPEAKER_00: That is a good question because I lost my mother in my 20s, and she was always my guiding light.
55:41
SPEAKER_00: So one of the things is like I always have in the back of my mind, like I just want her to be proud of me, and then also because I have these three beautiful young ladies in my life who are whose one is gonna be 18 tomorrow, happy birthday, which I'm gonna like, and the other ones are gonna be 17 next year.
56:06
SPEAKER_00: I want to be an example of how you can adapt, choose whatever path you want to go towards, don't be encumbered by other people's opinions of yourself.
56:21
SPEAKER_00: For me, what everybody always describes me, what you see is what you get, and she's honest, sometimes bluntly honest.
56:28
SPEAKER_00: But I think for me, my legacy is always giving back and paying forward, and just being there and just showing up.
56:40
SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm trying to get better at, but I think that's what I want my legacy to be.
56:44
SPEAKER_00: I'm building my legacy towards all those things because I think now I know that that is more important than chasing a career, maintaining a certain lifestyle, but just being able to just help folks where they are, provide them with what they need.
57:06
SPEAKER_00: Because half the time, because all people want is just for you to listen, but more than that, to be seen.
57:13
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, yeah, because I've had to I have had to show my three nieces that I was like, I see you.
57:22
SPEAKER_00: Because like when they get wound up about school and I hug them and I go, I see you.
57:29
SPEAKER_00: And and I and their parents pulled me aside and said, Thank you.
57:34
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Well, I was like, because it was instinctive because I can see because a lot of people want to be seen, Kristen.
57:41
SPEAKER_00: It's like you want to be seen, and so that's one of the things that I'm still working on is making sure that everybody is seen.
57:49
SPEAKER_00: Because everyone is important, yeah.
57:51
SPEAKER_00: Everybody's important, everyone has something that they want to say, and I'm like, okay, I want you to be seen, and I want you to speak your truth.
58:01
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
58:03
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, that's it.
58:04
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
58:05
SPEAKER_01: How lucky those young women are to have you.
58:08
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
58:08
SPEAKER_01: I'm lucky.
58:09
SPEAKER_01: A guiding light.
58:10
SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's it's I'm sure it's ground me.
58:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
58:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't know anything about that.
58:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean they well, they troll me a lot.
58:20
SPEAKER_01: You need it.
58:21
SPEAKER_01: We all need it.
58:22
SPEAKER_01: I do, but they're a little like you could be a little nicer.
58:27
unknown: Yeah.
58:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
58:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
58:29
SPEAKER_01: Um, I am so grateful to still have you in my life.
58:33
SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm so so stoked about what you're putting out in the world.
58:38
SPEAKER_01: And thank you.
58:40
SPEAKER_01: There are so many more questions, so I feel like we were I say this almost every time now.
58:44
SPEAKER_01: Part two for sure, because maybe we get to I have so many questions on my mind that we didn't get to dig into.
58:49
SPEAKER_01: But for now, thank you so much.
58:51
SPEAKER_01: And thank you.
58:53
SPEAKER_01: Thanks for being kind of a big deal.
58:56
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
58:57
SPEAKER_01: I'll see you soon.
58:59
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
59:00
SPEAKER_01: Bye.
59:00
SPEAKER_01: Bye.
59:05
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for listening and spending some of your time with me here.
59:09
SPEAKER_01: I hope our conversation sparked some new ideas for you.
59:12
SPEAKER_01: If you enjoyed the episode, please make sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's next.
59:17
SPEAKER_01: And if you're ready for even more tools and stories, head on over to beldenstrategies.com slash newsletter.
59:25
SPEAKER_01: I share fresh insights, stories, and tools for women leaders every week.
59:30
SPEAKER_01: Until next time, keep building, keep evolving, and remember that you are kind of a big deal.