Latest / Back In The Closet - Two Crazy Cat Ladies / Ask The Cat Behaviorist Series

Transcript

Ask The Cat Behaviorist Series · Back In The Closet - Two Crazy Cat Ladies

0:01
I'm Jay, I'm Adrian, and together we are there's. 2 Crazy
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ladies. I'm going to cut.
0:08
You. I think I just peed.
0:10
Buckle up. We're back in the closet.
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But to literally the first episode of a series for Back in
0:24
the Closet podcast that we are very excited about called Ask.
0:29
The cat. Behaviorist.
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For many of you guys, many of you guys listening, you may not
0:35
know, but for those of you guys that are joining us live
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tonight, you probably already know that we have like 3 days
0:42
ago, I think four days ago or something like recently just
0:48
just launched the cat behaviors, our newest teammate.
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And we are so, so grateful and honored that for her energy, for
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her love, for her love for cat and for her expertise to help
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the cat parents everywhere that have behavioral issues no matter
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where you are on the globe, right?
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And so we are, we are so grateful to be joined tonight.
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First of many nights that we are excited to be joined by Linda
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Hall, the cat behaviorist. You can find her at the cat
1:21
behaviorist.com. She will be joining us for a
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series called Ask the Cat Behaviorist where you guys put
1:28
in the comments your questions for a cat behaviorist.
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Now mind you, it has to be short.
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It can't be too long because this, this program actually will
1:37
cut off your comments. So if you're giving us your
1:39
whole life story, it's not going to work like that.
1:41
Book a session. But I already see so many
1:43
questions coming in and I, Linda, for anyone who hasn't met
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you, who doesn't know you yet, can you just share a little,
1:51
just a little introduction? Say it say any somebody lives
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lives under a rock and has missed the the whole launch
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thing yes where? Were you?
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But anyway, yeah, I was raised with dogs.
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And when I got cats, they seemed like aliens.
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And when I started learning that they could communicate and about
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all the cool cats have so many cool hidden functions you don't
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even know about. And when I started hearing about
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them, I wanted to know more and more and more and more and more,
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and I was just all over it. And then I started to realize
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there's so many cats going to the shelter because of
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behavioral issues, and if people would reach out to behaviors, we
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could change that. So I took a course at animal
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behavior college and got started.
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I worked with a nonprofit for about 4 1/2 years.
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And then I hitched my wig into the two crazy cat ladies.
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And I have been a busy cookie this week and I love every
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flipping second of it. I, you know, I have to say, you
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know, I'm so grateful. I've been so grateful since
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Saturday because, you know, we reach out to you to help us with
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our issue. We're doing the pee problem
2:49
progress reports. I need to do another one this
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week and it's just so refreshing.
2:56
I was just mentioning to you before we jumped on live and it
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was, we were a couple minutes late because I feel like when
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you're dealing with a health issue, you, you wonder, you
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know, Jay and I have been in health and Wellness for so long.
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When you're dealing with a health issue, it's like, oh, we
3:07
could try this and that and let's just you know, and then
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you see improvements and it's wonderful.
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When it's a behavioral issue, it often leads to behavioral issues
3:15
with humans as well. Because now, like with RP
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problem I or dealing with inner cat aggression, it's like you
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start getting angry at the situation.
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You feel exhausted, you feel and we're direction when we met with
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you and we had our session with you, I felt like it was the
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first time I was hopeful in two years and seeing the baby steps
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that were the progress that we're making.
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We just want to share it with the whole world.
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And I know that we totally threw you into the frying pan on on
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Saturday. I need your your help and your
3:49
insight. And I already see the comments
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blowing up with questions because all we want to, all we
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cat parents want is for our cats to be happy and be healthy.
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And when we don't know why they're not happy, it, it can
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really change the whole dynamic of a, of a whole household.
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And often times, like you said, and, and go into those
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statistics for a quick second, because so many people have
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asked us why we haven't rehomed. And by rehome, people really
4:22
need mean drop off at a shelter somewhere and hope that they're
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rehomed your cats because they're peeing on your on your
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stuff. On your face while you're
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sleeping. Screw the stuff.
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If I woke up out of a sound sleep, look, sleep is pretty
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precious in my book. If I woke up warm, wet, what you
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know? Yes, yeah, it's a, it's a, it's
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an issue. But there are so many cats that
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are euthanized, the amount of cats that are euthanized because
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they have behavioral issues, which is why I do feel like
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feeling behaviorists are one of the most underutilized resources
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for all of us. And we can already see here so
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many questions. Yes, and this is a 30 to 40
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minute podcast, so we're going to try to dive right in and get
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as many questions answered as possible.
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Now disclaimer first, you can't leave too long of a of a
5:14
message, but disclaimer is Linda works one-on-one and every cat
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is an individual, right? So when, when if you're asking a
5:23
you're asking a question, she she is going to do her best to
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give you some advice, but without knowing your specific
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cat in your specific situation, you're you're try her advice.
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Try whatever she gives you. Hopefully that works.
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If not, book link is in the in the description.
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You could even do a a free consultation first, a precon so
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that you can find out if this specific issue is something that
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she can help you with. I'm here to tell you that it can
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that she can't. OK, so let's.
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Just NPS, if you book a session between now and June 30th and
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pay for it by the 30th and put in code fix my cat it's 40%.
6:03
So that's right. Who are jumping in, so get in
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there. I forgot about that.
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I forgot about that. OK, I'm going to scroll that on
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the bottom. I'm going to keep you on track,
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baby. I'm going to keep you on track.
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Thank you. You always do.
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OK, let's start from the beginning.
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We're going to, we're going to, we're going to try to rapid fire
6:17
as much as possible because so many questions.
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I had some questions, but I think ours are going to like
6:21
we're going to. Have to have them off camera.
6:25
Deborah says I have two female rescue cats, both of whom were
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kittens when when refused. One is 4 years old and the other
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two rescued 2 years apart. The older cat hates the younger
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one and is viciously aggressive with her.
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What say you, Linda? For one thing, 2 year olds are
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very much like, you know, babies Like there's a period of time
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where you could snatch up a stranger's baby and they'd be
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like, that's fine. And then they get the point
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where they're hiding under their mother's skirt between 1 1/2 and
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2 1/2. Two, it seems to be the magic
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numbers when they decide to come into their own.
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And they a lot of communication, you have to realize with cats is
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non verbal and it's we don't even notice it a lot of the
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time. So it could be some of that, it
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could be A2 year old didn't want to accept a little kid.
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And I don't know if this has been going on the entire time,
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especially was is the four year old a female?
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I don't remember if the four year old is a female.
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Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Females are not readily accepted.
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They stay in a smaller space in the cloud or while the boys are
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out playing security guards. Right.
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Those girls, I call them sister wives.
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They work together, they may even nurse each other's babies,
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but they don't necessarily like each other.
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You know, it's not impossible to see two females snuggling, but
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it's more uncommon than seeing male snuggling or even a male
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and a female. Females are catty baby.
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That's where they came up with that term, you know, so, but
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things you can do. First of all, calming aids to
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chill that out cat calm anyone takes up to 24 hours to work use
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it every day. It's kind of like a maintenance
8:00
dose. All natural holistic minerals
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like what is there 83 or something?
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There's a ton of minerals in this thing and and they have a
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money back guarantee if it doesn't work, so you have
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nothing to lose and then we want if you want someone to think
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better of you, what do you do you bring them gifts you
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compliment them you you try to make them happy to bring them to
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like you right. Let's do the same things with
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the cats. If there's an absolute favorite,
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be all end all treat they they get it when they are in the
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vicinity of each other. If I didn't like somebody so
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much but I got a piece of turtle cheesecake every time they were
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around, I might be a little more tolerant of them.
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Might actually even come to like them.
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They send me to Hawaii, I'll actually love them.
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And so, you know, try to build that up.
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And I cannot stress enough how important word association is.
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Put a word with the behaviors you want.
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If they're not pestering each other, that's so nice.
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Good girl. Whatever you want to say, treat,
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love, pet, brush, play, whatever it is that floats their boat.
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And when they go after them, it's time out.
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Whatever stops. They don't get a treat.
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Maybe they go behind a door for one minute, they're two ADD
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after that they're just mad at you.
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But you know, being consistent, consistency is everything.
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Everything love. It I love.
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It real quick though, I just a bit just because a catfight is
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one of the scariest things I've ever seen in in that moment.
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I know you had some really good tips for us because we deal with
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that as well. It's almost as if, Deborah, I'm,
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I'm feeling you on this. It's almost as if one of our
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cats is hunting, literally as if to kill another cat so that that
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catfight it, it, it elicits a very big reaction in me.
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How can we deal with that in a? Better that's the worst sound in
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the world. For one thing, you need to know
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that no cat wants to fight. Their world revolves around
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preserving themselves and their species.
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Nobody wants to fight. They're fighting because they
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perceive a danger. And it could be two that are
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scared. And I'm I'm staring at you
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waiting to see what you're going to do because I'm scared of you
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and you're staring at me because I'm scared of what I'm going to
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do. And then somebody twitches and
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it's oh, oh, he's coming after me and it's game on and they're
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locked for their life. So knowing that they don't want
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to do this is a good start. You don't have an aggressive
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bully on your hand who's a mass murderer unless they have a
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neurological disorder. So and that, you know, being
10:18
that cheerful and encouraging that and trying not to carry
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that guys, they read our energy. If you go into the room thinking
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there is going to be a fight, there's going to be a fight.
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Remember when you were young and your your adults would get
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nervous or talking about the bills or something and you get
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sick to your stuff, something's wrong.
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What's going on, what's going on?
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You know, it's it spreads. So you got to try to keep
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yourself calm. Know that you've got a plan
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really helps. If you're trying to get 2
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together that are really going after each other, if you can
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harness train the one that tends to be the going after so that
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you can stop them immediately instead of chasing them through
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the house. If you can't harness train, I
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always say shut any extreme, shut the bathroom door, shut the
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spare bedroom door. We don't need to find more
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places for them to go and get locked under.
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So the guest bed where you can't reach them, right?
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We want to stop this as soon as possible.
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Yep, yes, thank you. Thank you.
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OK, OK, moving on, Stephanie says hi ladies.
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Any tips on how to help an anxious cat feel more secure and
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calm and build up her confidence?
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She was thrown out and then became mine.
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So I think part of the trauma stems from there.
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Oh, Stephanie. I got my client today actually
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somebody, Nicole just did a pre con with Y'all with Annie.
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Stop throwing your cats out the window.
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Drop them at the shelter if you're really not going to take
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care of them. This is so traumatic.
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And here's the thing, I trusted you.
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I lived with you. You were my human.
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You threw me out. So how does your cat know that
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you're not going to throw them out?
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This is a nervous making thing. So again with the anxiety, there
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are quite a few calming aids. Cat calm is great.
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There's a few others that I like.
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I think there's a total of 4 music.
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Music for cats by David Tai. It's free on Spotify, Amazon,
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Apple Music. It is music made specifically
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for cats by a symphonic cellist who did the whole study and has
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been proven to help calm cats. And you can leave that running
12:14
low. What was that name?
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David Tai TE i.e. It's music for cats.
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If you have an Alexa, say, Alexa, play music for cats by
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David Tye. And when you get sick of this
12:26
death, when you get sick of that, you tell her, play music
12:28
for cats volume to by David Tye because he does have a second
12:32
album when you cannot hear Bella's Aria one more time.
12:36
But it's actually become my sleep sound.
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We were out of town in a hotel, and I turn it on on my phone and
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my daughter's like, you know, there's no cats here, right?
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Yeah, it's my sleep sound because I just got used to it.
12:47
But you know, anything you can do to set up a calming
12:50
atmosphere, watch, or body language, And I'm telling you,
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visualization, the messages you're sending.
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Just like they can read the anxiety, they can read other
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things. I want you telling that cat
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every day, verbally and mentally.
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I love you and I will keep you no matter what happens.
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I will never, ever let you go. You are here forever.
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Do you hear me, Annie? Those are your mama's for the
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rest of your life and they are going to do everything for you
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that they can. And I love that she's framed
13:20
herself this way. During the intro, she was
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standing right next to the sign. She was perfectly centered.
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It was. It's terrible.
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This is like her spot for our podcast now this is where she
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she's like, oh, podcast night, OK.
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She's a star. She's beautiful and she knows
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it. She's a star, yes.
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Let's go through Karen Dandy Smith.
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It's here. Hello.
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We can't wait to talk to you tomorrow.
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Karen Dandy Smith. We get to talk to her tomorrow.
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Oh my gosh. Attention.
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Here we go, I think. This.
13:54
Hi, Aiden. Hi Aiden, even though we have
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set times for play, meals and sleep, my 4 year old cat meows
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for attention when I'm moving around doing chores.
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How can I set healthy boundaries?
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She has never been alone longer than 4 hours in a day.
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Oh my God. Wow, I.
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Hear this? Too.
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Yeah, we need, we need this info.
14:13
Too one thing here's your word association.
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If you are saying I'm going to dust now and you dust and don't
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stop, they know I'm going to dust now means you know I had
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to. I had to stop the cats.
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I've never had a closed door until the kittens turned into
14:30
teenagers and I was in the middle of a session and 1 jumped
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on the dresser and shut the light off.
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So now I have to lock them out. And at first they were really
14:40
getting I was hearing bodies thrown against the door.
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I was feeling terrible. But I tell them every day
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mommy's going to work and I shut the door and they not bothering
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me anymore because they know that's the boundary I've set.
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Meanwhile, let's put on some stuff.
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Let's put a YouTube video for cats on the tropical fish with
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the calming music. Put some cat grass out a treat
15:00
ball. Give them things to do.
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If those toys, the same toys have been on the floor for three
15:05
weeks, pick some up, put some other ones out.
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Get some Kitty cracknip. It's organic, it's amazing.
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Spray it on those really old catnip toys that you've got that
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don't got no nip in them anymore.
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They will re nip and you will save money not buying more toys.
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I tell all my clients that stuff is amazing.
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You pull the nasty ones off from under the couch and they have
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their own just Bunny village living on them.
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You can wash them and yes it'll ruin the catnip, but then you'll
15:30
spray crazy crazy cat ladies cracknip on them and they're
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they're brand new again and I need to buy more toys.
15:37
Thank you. Yes, that is that is awesome.
15:40
OK, Brandy. Brandy.
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My dog passed away and my cat Callie was his favorite cat.
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She's now she now carries his favorite toy and cries.
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Does this mean she misses him? Absolutely.
15:54
Wait, bring Brandy's comment back for a minute.
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For those watching Brandy, you have a possum on your shoulder
16:01
and I love you. Oh, you do.
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I notice that you're reading the words.
16:07
Oh my God, I just absolutely love.
16:10
You Brenda, your your soul or soul?
16:13
Your soul for sure. Yeah.
16:16
Yeah. Cats grieve now.
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And people tell you my cat doesn't grieve.
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Some cats go away and stay just like people.
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There are people like I'm going to that funeral, I can't deal
16:26
with this or I'm just not going to think about it.
16:28
And there are people that are sobbing and there are people
16:29
that are jumping into the casket.
16:30
There are varying degrees. And I know when my son-in-law
16:34
passed and my daughter moved here with her for Inky, who was
16:37
the closest to Sebastian, he used to hang that cat upside
16:40
down like it was a kid, toddler flipping around.
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Cat didn't care. Every night that cat roamed the
16:45
halls crying. I still still here, it's just
16:51
every nerve and cell in my body. I can hear that cat crying and
16:55
it took a while. If there are things that the dog
16:58
laid on, don't be so quick to get rid of them.
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They can get comfort from going and laying on those things.
17:03
My daughter took one of her husband's shirts off one day,
17:05
maybe a couple weeks after he'd passed, and laid it on the floor
17:09
because apparently she still doesn't pick up her laundry even
17:11
though she's grown now. And all four of her cats would
17:14
and laid on it together. And one of those cats was not
17:18
exactly. Well, two of them were not
17:19
exactly, exactly big snugglers, but they they could still smell
17:22
it even though I've been washed. So don't be so quick to get rid
17:26
of everything. Allow that grief, just like we
17:28
allow us to grieve, right? You want to keep the things from
17:31
the people and love, love, love. And tell the cat you know.
17:35
I'm so sorry you lost your friend.
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I'm sad too, but I'm so glad I still have you and you have me.
17:42
And we're going to get through this together.
17:44
Yeah, yeah, that was so. That was so important when
17:49
Oliver Twist and Pooh Bear passed, it was to to talk to all
17:53
of our cats and be like, we're going through this too.
17:57
Like get it. And it's hard and.
18:00
How old was your son-in-law? 38 he took. 38, Three days
18:07
before he passed, he was in a coma on a vet.
18:08
So he didn't know he was 38, but he was 38.
18:14
Insane, insane. And yeah, it's everybody.
18:18
I mean, it just it impacts them. And I have been blessed that the
18:22
last three of my cats, the past passed at home and I was able to
18:27
have them on the bed and have visitation, which is true story.
18:31
Some would come and kind of look in the door and walk away.
18:34
Some stayed just just outside of the doorway.
18:38
Some came up and sniffed and then was like one of them just
18:42
kind of sat on the bed next to the blank with the cat.
18:45
I mean it was heartbreaking, but from a behaviors point of view
18:49
it was also really fascinating and was just such a clue into
18:52
how deeply they love and how similar they are to people.
18:56
Yeah. Well, and a quick side note
18:58
before we go to this next question for Jane, I love you
19:00
Jane, is that we we learned about cats transitioning at home
19:08
and how important if at all possible.
19:11
It's not always possible, right? But if it's at all possible for
19:14
a cat to transition at home, it really, really helps.
19:17
Or a dog for that matter, right? Like a pet, it can really help
19:20
with the rest of the animals in your get through the grief, get
19:25
through the confusion portion. They'll still grieve, but they
19:29
but when there's a Mack truck type situation and it's like.
19:33
Oh my gosh, and rush for the vet.
19:35
And they never come home. Then the cats go through this
19:38
like. Where are they?
19:39
This confusion and this and, and sometimes it's like, what did
19:43
you do to them? And you know, like, I don't know
19:45
exactly what they what they know exactly.
19:47
The cat disappeared and didn't come back, and that's scary as
19:49
heck, OK, You know, you were four and your parent walked out
19:52
the door and never came back. This would really shake your
19:55
foundation for life. And I am fortunate that I have a
19:58
backyard which has really become a pet burial ground because I
20:01
always have so many. And I, I think I lost three last
20:04
year. I even if I have to take the cat
20:06
to the VAT, I bring the cat home and I sit on the bed with that
20:10
cat and I allow the other cats to come up and say goodbye.
20:13
And it's horrible and it's heart wrenching and it's disgusting in
20:16
every way, but it's necessary. They know what like when they
20:20
come up to that to that body, it does.
20:22
It sounds so morbid and weird and gross and all the stuff and
20:26
things, but but really, when you think about it from like the
20:29
perspective if your cat just died at home, like Pooh Bear,
20:31
right, Like he just fell over and died and all the cats were
20:34
like, or most of the cats were there and they were like
20:37
watching this happen and they knew they probably watched his
20:41
spirit leave his body, right? Like, they, they knew these
20:44
things, so they didn't have this confusion of what happened to
20:48
Pooh Bear. Where did he go?
20:50
You know, it was like he died. Oh, God.
20:53
OK. Like, yes.
20:55
Yeah. And then the grieving process is
20:57
a is a is a bit easier when you you weren't when there's a few.
21:01
When they didn't just disappear and not come back and that's a
21:03
Sebastian like men in hazmat uniforms came and took him away
21:07
and 26 late days later we moved to grandma's house.
21:10
What just happened? And animals do know.
21:12
I had this very dear friend. She was kind of an adopted mom
21:15
and she was going through cancer.
21:17
And so I was going over and, you know, help it out when I could.
21:19
And her daughter came from Cincinnati and we stayed the
21:22
night. The night before she passed and
21:23
she brought her Aussie. So Sophie was the best dog
21:27
recipe. So and Sophie kept coming in and
21:29
checking on Nana and would push her nose under the covers and
21:32
lick her hand and go away. And she kept checking on her.
21:35
And when Sharon passed, we called Soph in and she went over
21:38
and went and left the room. Complete change.
21:44
She's gone. I know she's gone.
21:46
They know. Yeah, they are so much smarter
21:49
than us. Really.
21:50
OK, on to Jane. My cat has a problem with biting
21:53
when someone pets her. She's now 18 or 19 and is
21:56
slowing down. Calming aids This is an anxiety
22:01
but also again using your words. So one of those kittens I
22:04
mentioned decided the best way to get my attention was to bite
22:07
my ankles. So I tell no bite, and I'd
22:10
immediately turn away. The worst thing you could do is
22:13
give attention. What or why would you don't
22:15
bite, right? We want to help discourage that.
22:18
If he bites again, I tell him time out and I'll walk out of
22:21
the room and do a lap around the house.
22:22
You didn't get what you wanted. If it's just a nervous thing,
22:26
then you've got to watch that body language.
22:28
I've known several cats who wanted attention and you gave
22:32
them two Pats and on the third pat they taunt you.
22:35
It's like overstimulation, like an ADD person.
22:38
So what you do is you warn them and you say I pet you and you
22:42
give them one pet and you stop and you say I pat you and you
22:45
continue this pattern in a week or two.
22:47
And this seems like it's no big deal.
22:49
You say I pet you and you give 2 pets and you find and you watch
22:53
those sensitivities. But you always warn and you
22:56
never pet an anxiety cat from overhead.
22:59
How do predators get you? They come from overhead.
23:03
The wolves, the eagles, whoever's going to snatch you
23:06
up. And I didn't see you coming.
23:07
I always will hold my hand out, let you smell, and then I'll say
23:10
pat you and I'll give you a couple pets.
23:13
Even to my cats that have lived with me forever because you
23:16
don't know what happened that day that has their anxiety on
23:18
edge. Yeah, I have to say.
23:20
Like with Annie, she is so special in so many ways, but we
23:25
got to the point where she I realized she really loved being.
23:28
Scratched like right under her chin.
23:29
Whatever. And one day I went up like, oh,
23:31
she was being so sweet. And I just went up and I started
23:34
and she ripped my arm open because she didn't see me
23:38
coming. She is she Yeah, she did not see
23:42
me coming. So now it is like if you're when
23:46
I go up, it's definitely you offer your hand and she's the
23:49
one that leans in and just she has a choice.
23:54
Look, would you come up to somebody you see your friend or
23:57
somebody that you knew, do you come up to them and just grab
23:59
them and start touching them or do you go, I want to hug you?
24:02
Well, yeah, it depends on who it No, I am a huge hugger.
24:05
I get that it depends on who it is but but I leave you in.
24:09
Your life, you're not going to oh, we're.
24:11
Going to be just nothing but hugs in jail.
24:13
Just be like, yeah, is enough. But at least, you know, you
24:20
throw your arms out and you come in, they at least have warnings.
24:22
And you can tell me there's anybody in this room that has
24:25
not lived the experience of not realizing that someone was
24:28
behind you or that your spouse or partner came home and you see
24:32
them go. And it could be somebody you've
24:34
been married to for 25 years and they scare the snot out of you.
24:37
Not because it's them, because you didn't expect them.
24:39
We already warning. Call out when you come in the
24:42
door, please. Yes.
24:44
Yes, yes, All right. Next is Sandy Cats.
24:48
Sandy. What can I what do I do when my
24:51
intact kitten gets mad at me and attacks when he is told no, walk
24:57
away? Yeah, again, we're going to use
24:59
a word like, you know, no hurts or anything.
25:03
The problem with no is that we use it too much.
25:05
The cat does this. No floppy.
25:08
No, no. Can't mean 22 things.
25:11
So if you're going to say no, you need to put it with
25:12
something else, like if it's, you know, an attack, if it's
25:14
bite, if it's whatever, you can't.
25:16
No, no, no, no. They don't learn that way.
25:19
One word for each thing you can say, No bite, no hurt, no
25:22
scratch, whatever. But yeah, you say it and you
25:25
pull that attention away. And if they do it again, you say
25:27
time out and you walk away, that is probably I wouldn't give a
25:31
consequence of putting them in the other room because that is
25:33
an anxiety response and nobody should be getting consequences
25:37
for, you know, flipping out. But definitely calming aids.
25:40
Play the music, it's cat calm. Anything like that.
25:44
Try to keep the house as peaceful as possible.
25:47
Warn the cat of everything. This is something for every
25:51
single situation. I told Jay and Adrian, If you
25:53
try to imagine that you're in some foreign exchange program
25:56
and you've been dropped into another country where you don't
25:58
speak their language and there's no calendars or clocks or
26:01
anything on the wall that's decipherable to you.
26:03
I don't know if they need clocks in another language, but we're
26:05
going to go with that. And they're nice to you.
26:08
Nobody's mean, but you have no idea what's going on.
26:11
And they'll bring you food and then they'll walk into a room
26:15
and shut the lights off and you're like, oh, do I go to bed
26:18
now? I mean, it gives me anxiety even
26:20
talking about it. OK.
26:22
I'm a little bit of a like to be in control person.
26:26
This is what our cats live every day.
26:28
All of a sudden we're in the shower getting wet.
26:30
Why in the world did you put water on yourself?
26:31
What's wrong with you? And you know, that's a that's a
26:34
cat's nightmare. I can get on the counter here,
26:36
but I can't if you're making food.
26:37
And why can't I get that food? All food is my food.
26:40
And what are you doing? Where are you going?
26:42
I put words with everything. I say the same thing when I'm
26:44
leaving, when I come home, when I go to bed, when I wake up and
26:47
my bladder's full. I say mommy's got a potty.
26:50
They all know what that means. Everything has a label.
26:55
The more your cat can expect what's happening, the more
26:58
comfortable they're going to be. A cat in nature repeats the same
27:02
day over and over, like that movie Groundhog's Day.
27:05
I would die. But they do it because they can
27:08
trust those things and they know those things are safe.
27:11
Cats don't like surprises. They don't like changes.
27:14
In their perfect world, everything stays the same, but
27:16
nothing moves. So as many routines as you can
27:18
put into place, the more comfortable the cat's going to
27:21
feel. I just realized I married a cat.
27:24
Yeah. What?
27:27
Next question Aaron why? Why does my male cat only poop
27:31
outside the litter box? He pees in the litter box with
27:34
zero problem. If he's having pain when he
27:39
poops, this can make them think badly of the litter box for
27:42
that. Like, it doesn't hurt when I
27:43
pee. It doesn't hurt if he's pooping
27:45
right outside the litter box. That means he wants to get in
27:48
there. He knows he should get in there,
27:49
but he can't for some reason if he's having Constipation or
27:52
diarrhea. Cool cat fact.
27:54
I don't know how they know this, but cats go potty in nature in a
27:57
communal area, and if one is sick, they won't poop there.
28:01
Why? Because it would spread disease.
28:03
How does the cat know that? Don't know.
28:06
It's one of those things that just fascinates me about cats.
28:08
So if they're going right in front of the box and they're
28:10
having problems with pooping, they may feel like they're sick
28:12
and be instinctually not wanting to poop in that area.
28:16
The other common reason is feeling afraid.
28:19
Maybe you've got a litter box bully in your house or you've
28:21
got cats outside. It is easier to pee.
28:24
Well, it takes less time for me to even poop too anyway.
28:28
And to poop it to get in a certain position and raise their
28:34
tail and it makes them more vulnerable.
28:36
I mean, if somebody's breaking into my house, I'd rather not be
28:38
when I'm on the potty because I can't run with my pants at my
28:40
ankles, right? It's the same situation.
28:43
So it's like, I'm going to go here where I feel safe.
28:46
You 2 have an amazing video on YouTube DIY litter box.
28:52
It is the coolest thing ever because not only is it tall,
28:56
high sided, really, really huge, but they use, I do this every
29:00
time I talk about it, but they use the plastic totes, the clear
29:04
ones. So if I'm in here and somebody's
29:06
coming, I'm not blocked. I can see you coming and I can
29:10
get out of the way when I see you coming as opposed to some
29:13
hard plastic Gray, blue, whatever thing that I can't see
29:17
out of. Yeah, I'm really glad that you
29:19
said that because whenever a cat suddenly starts going outside
29:22
the box, whether it's pee or poop, health is always the
29:25
number one thing that we say. We got to check and make sure
29:28
that they are because often our cats are stoic.
29:31
Our cats are stoic, which means by nature, right?
29:35
So in the wild, in the wild, they they are.
29:40
They are if, if they feel any kind of weakness, they are, they
29:45
are predators and prey, right? So they are easy prey if they're
29:49
showing weakness. So if they don't feel well, we
29:52
want to get their health checked first, right If they start.
29:55
Going outside the clogs, we. Want to get their health checked
29:57
first? I would say another one that we
29:59
have seen many times with this specific question is that when
30:04
cats will pee but not poop inside the litter box is because
30:08
they don't have enough boxes. So the going rule right is to
30:12
have at least one more box than you have cats.
30:15
And most cats we'll watch. We watch it with our cats all
30:18
the time. Most cats prefer to pee in one
30:20
box and poop in another. So, right.
30:23
So, so if like you say, you only have one box and they've gone in
30:27
there and they've peed and then they're like, I just
30:28
contaminated that I don't want to poop in there, but I got to
30:31
poop. They poop outside the box.
30:33
So if you add another box, right?
30:36
So if you have one cat, you need at least two boxes.
30:38
If you have 3 cats, you need four boxes, right?
30:40
Like it's just you just want to add an an extra box and
30:43
sometimes that takes care. Of the issue as well.
30:46
Then I want to tell everybody who's got a a comment about
30:50
peeing. I get so frustrated.
30:52
This is one of my soapboxes. Your cats being outside of the
30:55
box. You take the cat to the
30:56
veterinarian, the veterinarian checks for a UTI. 99% of vets do
31:00
this, and that's good. There are a host of illnesses
31:04
that come under the heading of feline lower urinary tract
31:06
disease. Fluted, OK, UTI is one of them.
31:09
And yes, we want it checked. It's an inexpensive test.
31:12
It's easy to do, and if you don't catch it in time, it
31:15
really can take your cat's life. So OK, then when it comes up
31:18
with no bacteria, they say, I'm sorry, it's behavioral and they
31:20
hand it over. UTI's are not the most common
31:23
cause of fluted. The most common cause of fluted
31:25
is feline interstitial cystitis and the reason they don't talk
31:29
to you about it is because the only way to check for it is a
31:32
cystoscopy to put the cat under anesthesia and go up and scope
31:35
the cat. It's going to cost you a couple
31:37
$1000. And if the cat's not in a flare
31:39
in that moment, it'll say it's fine and the cat really has a
31:42
problem. It is so common and it tends to
31:45
be with the stress cats and it hurts every bit as bad as a UTI.
31:49
It's all inflamed, it's painful. And so they start peeing outside
31:53
of the box. And I, I swear this is the third
31:55
product I'm talking about. I swear they didn't tell me to
31:57
do this but I tell everybody their PEA.
32:00
The real words palmatory ethyl something something.
32:03
Anyway, it's very long, PEA for short.
32:05
It's a naturally occurring fatty acid.
32:07
It's in our bodies. It's an egg yolks.
32:08
It's in peanuts. It will not hurt your cat if
32:11
your cat doesn't need it. This is a 75 day supply for one
32:14
cat I think for like 29 bucks right?
32:16
Am I on that? And it's a teeny tiny little
32:19
spoon. It's 132nd of a teaspoon is a
32:21
teeny tiny and it'll make all the difference.
32:24
PEA has been found to be better for pain than NSAID's.
32:27
Like ibuprofen in the park sodium.
32:29
So you've got a chronic peer and the vet has cleared it and said
32:32
there's no UTI. Just trust me on this one and
32:35
try this and see if it helps because you may have a cat
32:38
that's in pain with F IC. Yep, and the formulator of that
32:42
is Doctor Judy Morgan. What a world renowned
32:44
veterinarian and we today is her birthday.
32:48
Happy birthday. Happy birthday, doctor Judy
32:51
Morgan, and thank you for changing the world of pets
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everywhere and thank you for Co branding this product with us so
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that we can offer it to the cat community as well.
33:00
Such a huge issue. Fic is such a huge issue in so
33:04
many cats and we're we're learning more about it through
33:08
you actually that how big about like we've known.
33:11
That it's an issue. So much more about like, 'cause
33:15
you're dealing with so many of these of these places.
33:18
And so often that's it. So yeah, you really have to.
33:22
And again, it doesn't hurt if the cat doesn't need it.
33:24
It won't hurt. Older cats too, with arthritis,
33:26
inflammation and pain. PEA.
33:28
Yes, absolutely. OK so loopy after dark says we
33:32
recently had to put down our 17 year old cat or cats.
33:36
Grieve also says in another comment one is eating her
33:40
feelings. I'm not.
33:43
I do that too. Tell the cat I can relate.
33:45
So first of all, I'm so sorry for your loss.
33:47
That's just our cats don't live long enough.
33:49
I I hate everything about that. But yeah, you do it the way you
33:54
do with anybody you know. You give your love.
33:56
If they if they're feeling standoffish, you let them be
33:58
standoffish. You can leave a little treat by
34:00
the bed and go in and sit down. If the cats are treated under
34:03
the bed and won't talk to you, you can just sit in the bed and
34:06
read your e-mail. Used to tell pet sitters this.
34:08
The cat's hiding. Sit down, read your e-mail, read
34:11
some news stories, find out what the latest celebs are doing, but
34:15
say it out loud so that the cat hears your voice.
34:17
And then let them be respect how they want to grieve.
34:20
If I want to grieve alone in my bedroom, let me know you're
34:23
there. Leave me some sweets outside my
34:25
door, but then let me have my space.
34:28
If they're looking snuggly, you'd be snuggly.
34:30
And you tell them you're hurting too.
34:32
I'm hurting too. I miss Kitty too.
34:35
I love them so much and I'm sad, but we're going to be OK.
34:38
And I'm so glad I still have all of you.
34:41
We're still a family, we're still together and we'll do this
34:45
together just like you would to a human.
34:47
And again, that's push the call me AIDS on anything but on
34:50
everything. But seriously, every behavior
34:53
problem that I work with needs some calming because they're all
34:56
out of some sort of anxiety or depression or whatever.
35:01
So yeah, that's my go to with everyone.
35:03
I have to say not to steal the microphone for a minute, but we
35:06
we obviously carry a Catcom is our product PEA we call Brandon
35:11
with Doctor Judy Morgan and I felt like we we were like, what
35:16
is wrong with us when you were like, hey, have you thought
35:19
about this and. And you're not actually the
35:22
first person to say that. And we're like, oh, yeah.
35:25
And then we'd start it and then and then, you know, like the
35:28
bottle would run out and we would be like.
35:29
OK. Well, hearing it from you and
35:33
being able to see little Annie is in my lap right now, you
35:37
guys. Yeah, like for those of you guys
35:39
joining live, you can see Annie, this is so special, like.
35:43
And her ears aren't upright. This is the first I'm gonna cry.
35:47
This is the I've seen her more relaxed and calm and I've been
35:49
so happy. But this is literally the first
35:50
time ever that I've seen her that her ears weren't.
35:52
Because even if she's relaxed, she's like, I'm listening for
35:55
trouble and her ears are down. They're they're fine.
35:59
She's so look at her. It's incredible.
36:01
It's incredible to. She's like, what you talk about
36:05
me. I know, honey, I know.
36:08
You need to be a cat actress. Huh.
36:10
There's some. For helping these a beautiful
36:14
species, they're both predators and prey, but being able to take
36:17
the edge off, you know, I know that our energy impacts them,
36:20
the other cats energy impacts them.
36:22
And so we can help take that edge off Sometimes we get to
36:25
see. Yes, all right, we got into as
36:29
many as we can and we only have a few minutes left so let's go
36:32
with Amy here. My one year old cat meows for
36:35
everything. Playtime, food, time, and
36:37
anytime he wants something. Is there anything I can do to
36:40
make it stop or is that just his personality?
36:42
My other two cats don't do that. Some cats, it is their
36:46
personality, but that doesn't mean we can't tamper it a little
36:48
bit. Number one, you want a routine
36:49
with everything you do. If the cat comes and meows at
36:51
you and you go get the cat food, why would the cat stop meowing
36:54
at you? That's how I get my food.
36:56
I meow, she goes and she gets food.
36:58
So if you put a routine with something like you play with
37:00
them for 5 minutes and then you get their food, they know it's
37:03
coming and this cat isn't going. Are you going to feed me?
37:06
It's time. Are you going to feed me?
37:07
And having anxiety and people who feed on a schedule.
37:10
If you feed your cat at 9:00 every night at 10 till they're
37:14
going to be all while they're staring and waiting for you and
37:16
if you get stuck in traffic or in the bathroom and it's 9 O1,
37:20
they think they're going to die. If I don't get fed at 9, I will
37:24
never get fed. Food comes at 9, food didn't
37:26
come. So you don't want to respond in
37:28
that way. And you can, even if you know
37:30
she wants to play and she could use some play, you can even say
37:33
just a minute and fuss around with something for 5 minutes and
37:36
then say now let's play and use those words.
37:39
Let's play. Play doesn't happen until Mama
37:42
says it happens. Teaching is so important and
37:46
you've taught us this and it's and we're, we're like trying it.
37:49
Like I'm like, I'm correcting Adrian and she's like going in
37:52
and then she's like, no, no, no. And I'm like, use your words.
37:56
That's enough. That's enough.
37:56
She's like, that's enough. And I'm like, OK, let's try to,
37:59
it's hard for us to like to that point, but once you, you create
38:05
a habit of it, it's like that's enough.
38:07
Is now an easy one. Now we're going to now we're
38:10
going to be better after tonight.
38:11
We're going to be better with our nose because we are saying
38:14
no, but we're not saying no to like specific things.
38:18
So we're going to say no spray, no spray.
38:21
No spray, No. No bite, no bite, no whatever.
38:25
Yeah, just put something with it because no just cannot mean all
38:28
those things in the world, right?
38:29
Like OK. Can I just say there?
38:30
I have a couple questions for you.
38:32
OK. Say the word association thing
38:35
and I really want us humans to think about this because I did
38:38
not I have always thought that I I try my best in life to be
38:43
responsive, not reactive when it comes to my babies.
38:49
I keep catching myself being. Reactive.
38:52
Completely reactive and I know there's a number there's that's
38:58
also a layered issue. But I have to say when you
39:01
really encouraged us with this word association when we talk,
39:04
when we were in our session with you, one of the things that I
39:07
started doing with Annie and I shared this in one of the one of
39:10
the P progress proper part updates.
39:13
I started asking her in the morning when I got up, Are you
39:15
ready to go potty? Do you want to go potty?
39:17
She she knows it now. And it is crazy to me how
39:22
quickly, you know, we watch those videos and we think if you
39:26
were to watch those videos of those cats with the little speak
39:29
buttons, yes. I'm fascinated by them.
39:32
They are cats are cats crave engagement.
39:37
More. Than we realize and so when now,
39:40
because every morning it was, it was almost like clockwork.
39:43
I would be frustrated every morning I get up.
39:46
We have a very big routine for us, right?
39:48
Jay goes and marshes all the dishes, feeds all the babies.
39:50
I go do all the litter. I vacuum the house.
39:52
It's just clockwork. If I don't acknowledge Annie and
39:56
say Are you ready to go potty, something is something is hit
40:01
before I'm done. But I wouldn't say knock on
40:04
wood, our. Sink.
40:06
Is in our bathroom. I hate it when I say it out loud
40:09
because it seems like every time.
40:10
I say I know, I know. But our sinks in our bathroom
40:15
have been clean for a minute. Like without having to do any
40:24
extra cleaning like. The the the small bits of
40:27
progress and I want to really encourage everyone who knows
40:31
that you need to you need some individualized care from Linda.
40:35
Get the 40% off right now through the end of June.
40:38
I this is this is this isn't just about like, oh, maybe this
40:41
is something I should do. This can change your world.
40:44
This is something that has changed my whole perspective of
40:49
our dailiness. I feel hopeful and I feel I feel
40:54
more disciplined about being consistent with the things.
40:58
Understanding that our cats are basically like 3 year old, 4
41:00
year old kids, right? Absolutely perpetual toddlers
41:03
are more similar to ours than dogs.
41:06
They're just less expressive, right?
41:08
So recognizing and seeing this kind of progress, seeing how
41:11
quickly especially Annie picks up on word association.
41:15
Are you ready to go potty? She, she'll come in with me even
41:18
if she doesn't have to go potty, she now knows.
41:21
I think she's such a good girl. She goes into the litter box
41:24
even if she's already just gone potty.
41:27
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, Because she wants to
41:29
please you. And so she's she's going ahead
41:32
and taking it over there. And eventually it'll become a
41:35
habit and she'll just go there or you'll be able to say, do you
41:38
need to go potty? And she'll just go.
41:39
And you don't even, you don't have to walk her in.
41:41
Right. Like potty training children in
41:43
a way. But yeah, their emotions are so
41:47
deep. But how can you have a
41:48
relationship with somebody if you really don't know them?
41:50
Think about somebody that you're close to.
41:52
You know their core values. This is probably their favorite
41:54
color. You know what kind of food they
41:55
like, you know them. We have to know our cats and if
41:58
we don't know what motivates them and why they do the things
42:00
they do, we're never going to have a really strong bond with.
42:04
Them and that's why that's why feeling behaviors I think are so
42:07
invaluable because and I've often said this to our friends
42:10
or like whatever, if they're like what's a feeling what like
42:13
a therapist for you know, you're trying to explain if someone
42:16
doesn't. It's really, yeah, actually,
42:18
yes. Linda speaks cat, you know it's
42:21
going to also it's we have done all the reading and all the
42:25
stuff and things to try to help our situation with our cats
42:29
peeing everywhere over the past two years since Andy came into
42:32
our family. And it's just escalated in spite
42:34
of our best efforts. It's because we did not have
42:37
individualized attention to our specific dynamics and that is
42:43
what makes all the difference. So better understanding the why
42:48
behind stuff, it really shifts everything and it makes it so
42:52
much more hopeful. Yeah, and you're moving.
42:58
Forward. OK, so into the podcast I have
43:02
two questions. I texted Adrian it this morning
43:04
because I was talking. I think when I'm washing dishes
43:06
it it's something am IA water sign.
43:09
I'm like, I'm like that in the shower.
43:11
My best thoughts come when I'm in the shower.
43:13
When I'm in the shower or if I'm washing dishes, I get.
43:16
Like a waterproof recorder in there.
43:22
I always say like if I'm in the shower and I have a great idea,
43:25
I literally I always have my phone on the bathroom counter.
43:27
So I will say, hey Siri. That's smart.
43:32
Make a note. Oh, I can do that, right?
43:34
Bathroom. Mine is always on the sink.
43:36
Yeah. All right.
43:36
I got that. So first question, do you find
43:39
that you repeat yourself often in sessions or do you find that
43:43
you think of new and different ways to approach behavior issues
43:45
depending on the cat? Both I knew.
43:49
Your things are. Very standard.
43:51
Like if we're doing an integration, I want you to have
43:53
a barrier like a temporary screen door.
43:54
I want you to be doing short sessions.
43:56
I want you making it happy. I want you using your words.
43:58
I want you putting in rewards and consequences.
44:00
Done, done, done. Now then I get, well, my cat
44:03
won't come out from under the bed.
44:04
And then I have to explain to you that that's OK.
44:06
Your cat still knows that cat's there.
44:07
And at the end of the session, your cat says, all right, didn't
44:11
get hurt. In fact, some good things
44:12
happened. Mom threw a treat or well, my
44:14
cat won't eat the treat. They will after you leave.
44:16
They still know when it came, right?
44:18
This still counts. Or maybe this cat has had really
44:21
crazy trauma. So I'm going to want you to
44:22
approach a different way. Maybe this cat was feral.
44:25
And so we need to there's those things.
44:28
There's a basic pattern to most things.
44:31
Peeing is the most frustrating for me because there are so many
44:34
possible. It could just be if a cat can't
44:37
spray, they will often use pee for that.
44:39
It could also be that the cat is sicker and pain.
44:41
It could also be there are cats outside and the cat is trying to
44:43
marry. It could be there's so many
44:44
things. So that one is a little hard.
44:47
I couldn't like write up a basic handbook on that, but I I count
44:50
on pretty much everything else. But then there's the tweaks for
44:54
the individual. Yeah, yeah, I love.
44:56
That with us, you know, because we.
44:57
Do I knew that you were going to say both?
44:59
For us, for our situation specifically, it just feels so
45:02
overwhelming that we don't know what to do because it is a
45:05
layered issue. We do have cats outside.
45:08
We do have an emotional component because this happened
45:13
so quickly after we lost our boys.
45:15
We have Annie, who doesn't even know what the hell is going on,
45:17
who has had her own trouble. We had Friday, who was so
45:22
connected to Oliver Twist. It breaks my heart every time I
45:25
see a memory pop up with them together.
45:27
Because she hasn't been able to express that kind of love with
45:30
another feline family member since he left.
45:33
Like it's a layered situation. And most importantly, we have
45:37
the two pet parents that are running two businesses and the
45:43
schedules are not the same ever. Our routines have routine,
45:48
right? And so we're, and we're
45:50
travelling here and we're doing this there and we're like it's,
45:53
it's, it's a. It's it's not going to tell them
45:57
you're going. You start working up before you
45:59
go, you tell them you're going to go.
46:00
Everything's going to be fine. You tell them Aunt is Sissy,
46:02
Auntie Sissy's going to be here. I'm assuming that's usually
46:05
there. And she is going to give you
46:07
this and I picked up a couple extra toys and put them in a
46:10
cabin and she's going to give them to you while we're gone.
46:12
And it's going to be 4 sleeps. Then you just keep filling them
46:15
in and you're happy about it because while you're dreading oh
46:18
crap, we're leaving, Oh heck's going to break loose.
46:20
It's going out of the oh crap, they're leaving, Oh heck's going
46:23
to break loose and it'll be a self fulfilling prophecy.
46:26
So you tell them and you keep as many routines as possible in
46:30
place. If you do this before you do
46:33
this, then it would help if Auntie Sissy did this before she
46:36
did this, right, so that we're keeping as much normalcy as
46:39
possible. I always tell people too, I
46:41
don't know if you do this, but take a shirt that you've worn
46:43
all day, the stinkier the better and leave them on the bed
46:46
because the cat will go to that scent and cuddle on your shirt
46:49
for comfort. I'll tell people run around the
46:51
block, get really smelly. They love our funk, right?
46:54
Like I want the nasty thing you've got and don't change your
46:58
sheets unless you have somebody coming to stay who's going to be
47:00
sleeping in your bed. We don't want to take your son
47:02
away and you away. That's the Bed is our biggest
47:04
scent soaker. Yep.
47:06
Oh, I love that. OK, one more question and then
47:08
we're going to finish up. And this is actually part of
47:11
what we're talking about, right? How often does the energy of the
47:15
human play into the behavior of the cats?
47:18
Oh. 100% of the time. 100% of the time.
47:21
Did a session once. So funny guy and girl get
47:24
together. I don't think they're still
47:26
together. If you're listening let me know.
47:29
She has a cat. He has a cat.
47:31
They're trying to kill each other.
47:32
He thinks her cat Satan, she's she wasn't quite as sure that
47:35
his was Satan, but she thought he was a jerk.
47:37
You know, like like two people getting together have two kids
47:40
and they're blaming each other. So I got them to the point where
47:42
the 2 cats are in the same room and they're videoing it.
47:45
And he's standing there and he's got, he's got a water bottle in
47:48
his hand and he's got a finger on the trigger and his foot is
47:51
tapping. And I watched her cat like, and
47:56
you could see the anxiety build and she jumped.
47:59
Well, they had her on a leash wrapped around the table, so the
48:02
table flew. So the other cat flew and
48:04
they're like, look, it doesn't work.
48:08
Oh my God, they. Were fine before he started that
48:12
behavior and I got it. You're scared that your cat's
48:15
going to get hurt. Look, I'm not downplaying that.
48:18
Been there, done that. But you're making things worse.
48:22
I did have a couple once that we decided that the lady couldn't
48:26
be a part of them because she just gets so nervous.
48:28
So her husband did all of the sessions by himself because she
48:32
just couldn't get herself under control.
48:36
Yes, yeah, the energy, I mean the the energy of the.
48:40
I will have to say we have another behavior session and
48:45
that behavior session. We have another animal
48:47
communication session tomorrow with the incredible Karen Dandy
48:52
Smith. We just so happen to win.
48:56
We want a draw ring, Draw ring and do you?
49:02
So yeah, we, we want to want a drawing.
49:04
And now we have with our beautiful friend Karen Diddy
49:08
Smith. We're excited about it.
49:10
But I'm telling you, every time we've talked to cat behaviorist
49:13
or cat. Communicators.
49:15
Well, communicators about our situation, it's always my fault,
49:19
like it's always like something me, it's always something me
49:23
that is like creating the issue and I try to like resolve it.
49:26
I try to do stuff and things, but it's but it's the energy,
49:29
right, The root of it, my life, the energy that I'd like.
49:32
And that's why I said like, I feel like I need to be medicated
49:35
because I'm, I'm like constantly hope we have to do this with.
49:39
You just have to be very purposeful in in catching.
49:43
It's like meditating. I've been working for the last
49:45
like 6 months on meditating. I'm horrible because the
49:47
thoughts start coming in my head and I have to stop and go shut
49:49
up, stop it. OK, start again.
49:51
You know whatever. I bought a book and it was
49:53
basically for people with ADD who are trying to meditate.
49:56
I have to force myself back. Don't beat yourself up because
49:59
now you're feeling like crap. That's I'm not helping the
50:02
situation, Honey, you know what? I don't think it's I don't think
50:08
it's a silly Jane. Thanks to Karen Dundee Smith, I
50:11
have been better about trying to meditate lately.
50:15
She's been. Doing Qi gong for my Karen.
50:18
She has been doing Qi Gong every morning for like a couple.
50:21
Months. Yeah.
50:23
My point is I recognized and I'm sure it's part of it, but I
50:29
recognize that Jay's anxiety is one thing.
50:31
Jay's anxiety is very action driven.
50:33
She's very much about the best thing for Jay is to cross
50:38
everything off her list. I am very emotional and I I
50:46
realized that for the past 2 1/2 years I am in a PTSD mode.
50:52
When we lost Pooh Bear and I, I for 20 years, I never jumped up.
50:59
If I heard a weird noise, I was just like, oh the cats.
51:02
Now if I hear a weird noise, I don't care if it's 1132 O clock
51:07
in the morning, whatever, I am up.
51:09
I mean, I am, I am always living on this like and I can't it like
51:13
it's hard for me to stop it, you know, because you think what,
51:16
what did I miss with right? So there that is, that is the
51:24
energy to me, that's the predominant energy that's
51:27
bothering our cats, this very anxious underlying energy that I
51:34
have. I worked with someone today who
51:39
actually spoke to an animal communicator who did not know
51:41
anything about what's going on in the situation, she said.
51:43
Like absolutely depressed. And she said that animal
51:45
communicator told her somebody they lost you lost somebody in
51:50
your family, and the cat feels guilty.
51:52
The cat basically had survivor's guilt.
51:53
Siri, I was like, they're so complex.
51:56
And yes, the cat's best friend had passed.
52:00
If your mother, brother, sister, partner, whatever died in your
52:04
family unit, no one would expect you 2 years later to be ducky.
52:08
Swell, sweetheart. OK, you know, duck, ducky.
52:13
Swell. Sorry.
52:14
That's a that's that's that means that's a Michigan term.
52:16
Yeah. Peachy keen to be fine.
52:19
We would expect you to still be grieving and struggling from
52:25
this. No one would expect.
52:26
So why would we expect you to be over twisted?
52:30
Who bears death? And why would he expect your
52:32
cats to? And your cats honestly basically
52:34
lost their paternal figure in the house with Oliver.
52:37
I saw that stuff. If your dad dies, it kind of
52:42
messes things up for you and your unit, and it shakes your
52:45
confidence and your security because Daddy fixes everything.
52:49
He kills the But I know my daddy killed all the spiders for me.
52:52
All I had to do was yell. And he never chased me with them
52:55
either. He just killed them right away.
52:57
I have the best daddy. But you know, if you lose
53:00
somebody who's a staple like that and has such an important
53:02
role in your home, of course you're all shook up.
53:04
Don't be so hard on yourself. Oh, I love you, Linda.
53:08
It just makes it makes be mindful of it, you know, Does
53:13
our energy affect our cats? I think a. 100.
53:17
Percent yes. But that also doesn't mean that
53:20
you have to like, I'm not allowed to grieve because I
53:21
don't want to upset my cat. No, you're going to grieve, but
53:23
you're going to done it. However the cat acts, you're
53:25
going to tell the cat I'm OK. You're still going to try to
53:28
keep up your routines as much. If your cat comes and lays in
53:30
bed with you, you're going to allow them to snuggle you and,
53:33
and help your grief. And you're going to work through
53:35
this together. So, but you know, you can't
53:37
chase away the feelings, but you also have to be hopeful and keep
53:40
in your mind and keep, you know, we're going to get through this
53:42
and then we're going to do this. We've got this to look forward
53:44
to and, and keep that going. This is the best way to honor
53:48
the cats memories, right, by going and making something
53:51
happen that's good and helping others and twisting such an
53:57
interview. He was just such AI just had he
54:00
was just the cornerstone. You know what I'm talking about.
54:02
He was just the cornerstone. It's it's awful and and then
54:07
everybody's got to shift positions and figure out where
54:10
they go and and and how to be and and your comforts gone and
54:14
it's horrible. But you rescued Annie.
54:18
And so something wonderful came out of this and write on me and
54:24
and yeah, I love. I get so excited when somebody
54:27
tells me they spoke to an animal communicator.
54:29
I'm like, tell me what they said because that knowing those
54:32
motivations and what the cat's thinking really helps.
54:34
We work very well together. Yes.
54:38
And I do think, I do think that cats are just the kings of
54:40
authenticity. You know, it's to try to put a
54:43
Band-Aid on yourself. You can't, you can't fake it
54:46
with your cats. They still, they still get it.
54:48
So I just, I feel like you, you've been such a help to us
54:55
and you, you do you, you acknowledge so many of the
54:57
things that are, you know, you've, I know that you've known
55:00
like you knew Oliver, we sent you that video so long ago when
55:03
we were dealing with other stuff.
55:05
And it's just so fascinating and helpful.
55:08
And I, I still, I believe to this day, our cats are our best
55:11
teachers. And I really help.
55:12
Sometimes all we need is a translator.
55:15
And so I am so eternally grateful to you for helping us
55:19
better understand our cats. You guys, I know we wouldn't
55:22
wait overtime because I just got all weird about stuff.
55:25
But until the end of June, if you have an issue that you feel
55:30
that you, that you're challenged by, please book a session 40%
55:33
off until the end of June. With the discount code Fix my
55:36
cat, all one word, Fix my cat at the behaviorist.com the cat
55:42
behaviorist.com the description here.
55:45
Thank you, Linda, so much for joining us.
55:47
So blessed and honored to have you a part of our team.
55:50
I can't even express, I can't even express how blessed we are
55:55
to, to know you and reciprocal to be to for you to be a part of
56:00
our family. So thank you, thank you so much
56:03
and thank you all for joining us tonight.
56:06
And that's going to wrap up this episode of back in the closet
56:08
with the 2 crazy cat ladies and the first episode of Ask the Cat
56:12
behaviorist. You will.
56:13
We will be back for many more in the future.
56:17
So get ready for it. And we love you all and have a
56:21
beautiful whatever day you're watching or listening to this.