Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Not Gonna Happen, Not Gonna Lie

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Not Gonna Happen, Not Gonna Lie · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

• 0:00
  Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we are realizing everyone is always
• 0:07
  learning and living your full experience.
• 0:12
  I'm your host, Coach C, and this is your Motivational Monday episode,
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  Not Gonna Happen, Not Gonna Lie.
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  Have you ever found yourself saying
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  maybe when deep down in your heart you already knew the answer was no?
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  Not possibly, not let me think about it, not we'll see, just not gonna happen, not gonna lie.
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  Listen, my sons already know this about me.
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  They'll ask me for something and when I respond with maybe, they immediately say that means no.
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  And I'll be thinking, now why are y'all acting like you know me.
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  But the funny part is, they do.
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  Because in retrospect, there were plenty of times when my mouth said maybe,
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  but my heart and my head had already agreed, baby, this not gonna happen.
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  I just didn't have it in me for one reason or another to say no outright.
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  Anybody else been there, or maybe you're there right now.
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  Sometimes we say maybe because we don't want to disappoint somebody.
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  Sometimes we don't want to look mean, selfish, difficult, or unhelpful.
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  Sometimes we're trying to avoid an uncomfortable conversation,
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  and sometimes we're hoping the situation will resolve itself,
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  so we never have to give a real answer.
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  But let's be honest, an indefinite maybe doesn't always protect people's feelings.
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  Sometimes it simply postpones the disappointment.
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  And while they're waiting for an answer, we're carrying the mental weight of
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  a decision we already made that maybe stays sitting on our shoulders.
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  It takes up space in our thoughts. It keeps appearing on the mental to-do list,
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  even though we already know, not gonna happen, not gonna lie.
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  So on this Motivational Monday, let me remind you that clarity is not cruelty.
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  A clear no can be kind. A clear no can be respectful.
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  A clear no can prevent confusion, resentment, overcommitment,
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  and expectations you never intended to meet.
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  The Bible tells us to let our yes be yes and our no be no. In other words,
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  say what you mean and mean what you say.
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  Now, there will be moments when you truly don't know.
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  A genuine maybe is real. You may need more information, time to check your schedule,
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  or space to pray and think.
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  But if you need time, give that time a deadline.
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  I'm not sure right now, but I'll give you an answer by Friday.
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  That's different from using maybe to hide a no.
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  And this doesn't apply only to what other people ask of us. Sometimes we need
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  to stop lying to ourselves too.
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  That thing you keep claiming you're going to do, but you haven't made any room,
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  plan, or effort to do it, with your current habits, not gonna lie, not gonna happen.
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  That boundary you keep saying you're going to establish, but every time the
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  moment comes, you abandon it, not gonna happen until you decide to stand on it.
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  The goal you say matters to you, but everything else consistently receives your
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  time, attention, and energy.
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  It won't happen just because you keep talking about it.
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  So today we're getting honest, not to beat ourselves up, but to free ourselves up.
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  Because once you tell the truth, you can make a real decision.
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  You can say no to what you don't want.
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  You can make a plan for what you truly do want.
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  And you can stop living in the exhausting space between the two.
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  Here's your fearless homework. First, write down three things you've been calling maybe.
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  Maybe you'll attend that event. Maybe you'll accept that responsibility.
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  Maybe you'll restart that goal. Maybe you'll keep entertaining that situation.
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  Second, look at each one and ask yourself, Am I genuinely undecided or am I
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  afraid to admit that my answer is no?
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  Finally, choose one maybe and give it an honest answer within the next 24 hours.
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  If it's no, say no kindly, clearly, and without writing a five-paragraph essay to justify it.
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  If it's yes, identify the first action required and put it on your calendar.
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  And if you truly need more time, choose the exact date when you will decide.
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  No more indefinite maybes. Declare this with me.
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  I will not use maybe to hide what I already know.
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  I can be honest without being hurtful. I can be clear without feeling guilty.
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  My yes deserves commitment and my no deserves confidence.
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  Sometimes freedom begins when we finally admit, not gonna happen, not gonna lie.
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  This is Coach C reminding you to decide, commit, and succeed,
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  and to live fearless while you do it.
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  I'll talk to you next time. In the meantime, keep learning, keep living.
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  This is Real Talk for Real Life, where everyone is always learning,
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  and you're living your full experience.
• 6:17
  Make sure you're following me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real Life.
• 6:23
  That's L-Y-F-E For more inspiration, merchandise And motivation between episodes
• 6:31
  This is Coach C I'll see you in the next one.