Latest / Equipped for Impact / Strong Marriages Make a Strong Family- Built to Last Part 1
Transcript
- 0:00Nate: When was the last time you and your wife had a conversation that had nothing to do with your daughters?
- 0:07Nate: And if you count, hey, did you sign that form as a conversation, then some of us that means maybe it was this morning before school.
- 0:16Nate: But if you actually mean sitting down and talking about something other than logistics, you might have to think about that.
- 0:23Nate: And the fact that you have to think about it is probably the point that we're making right now.
- 0:29Luis: And we're not throwing stones because we all have to ask ourselves the same question this week.
- 0:34Luis: And we may not like the answer either.
- 0:37Luis: For us, we're about a week into school now.
- 0:40Luis: Yep.
- 0:41Luis: And for some people, the marriage has turned into a scheduling meeting.
- 0:46Nate: Aaron Ross Powell And nobody sits down in August and says, you know what, summer's over.
- 0:51Nate: Let's stop being husband and wife.
- 0:53Nate: Let's just start being co-managers of a busy household schedule.
- 0:57Nate: It just happens quietly in about 12 days in the background.
- 1:03Nate: And that's what we want to talk about today.
- 1:12Nate: Welcome to Equipped for Impact, the podcast designed to assist Christian parents, leaders, and educators to raise up the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ.
- 1:24Nate: We're your hosts.
- 1:25Nate: I'm Nate.
- 1:25Nate: And I'm Lewis.
- 1:26Nate: And we are glad you're here with us today, where we're kicking off a brand new series called Built for the Long Haul.
- 1:34Nate: And we want to say up front that this is not a series that's a back to school series.
- 1:40Nate: Like we're past that, right?
- 1:41Nate: The backpacks are already scuffed up.
- 1:43Nate: The lunchbox is already a biohazard containment box.
- 1:47Nate: And somebody in your house probably has already lost a jacket.
- 1:50Luis: In fact, we lost a lunch box the last within the last week.
- 1:55Luis: One week.
- 1:57Luis: We found it.
- 1:57Luis: Was it in lost and found?
- 1:58Luis: No, it was just left in one of the classrooms.
- 2:01Luis: And so we it was just lost.
- 2:03Luis: It was not found.
- 2:04Luis: It had not been found.
- 2:05Luis: Gotcha.
- 2:05Luis: It was found when we found it.
- 2:06Luis: It was Yeah.
- 2:07Luis: Nobody else found it.
- 2:08Luis: Now the good news it was it was all lost and found within the same day.
- 2:11Nate: So it was it wasn't like this big ordeal.
- 2:13Nate: Well that's good.
- 2:13Nate: Have you seen those videos where like school people go through their schools lost and found and like pull out all the things at the end of the year?
- 2:21Nate: No.
- 2:21Nate: Like it's it's funny.
- 2:22Nate: Like you should see.
- 2:23Nate: And as a principal, I appreciate that because it is 100% accurate.
- 2:28Nate: You could probably get a whole new wardrobe with what's left in lost and potentially, yes.
- 2:32Nate: And some teachers end up doing that if they're small enough and they can fit their the kids' clothes.
- 2:37Nate: Facts.
- 2:38Nate: But we're not here talking about lost and found.
- 2:41Nate: And we're not even talking about getting ready for the school year.
- 2:43Nate: We we aired a retro episode of that a couple of weeks ago.
- 2:48Nate: But what we're talking about is, you know, where you are right now.
- 2:51Nate: Here's the premise, right?
- 2:52Nate: The first couple of weeks of a school year sets the default for the whole thing.
- 2:56Nate: And the patterns your family is running right now are the patterns you'll probably be running in November, just slightly more sleep-deprived.
- 3:05Nate: And so almost nobody chose those patterns.
- 3:08Nate: They just kind of settled into it on default.
- 3:10Nate: Aaron Powell And that's actually the good news, right?
- 3:12Luis: Because it means that you still have time to choose them.
- 3:16Luis: You're not too late.
- 3:17Luis: And in fact, if you're probably in a position where it's early enough where you can still notice it, catch it, and try to fix it.
- 3:25Nate: So over the next couple of episodes, we're gonna work through some of that in order.
- 3:30Nate: Today, we're talking about your marriage, right?
- 3:32Nate: Next, we'll talk about parents and their kids and and then we'll talk about some rhythms that sustain your household through a long school year.
- 3:40Nate: But we're starting with marriage on purpose, which some people, you know, listeners, you might find as strange since this is a parenting podcast, right?
- 3:49Nate: Yeah.
- 3:49Nate: But really it's not strange at all because this is the foundation.
- 3:53Nate: Yeah.
- 3:54Luis: And everything that we're gonna say in the next episodes after this one is gonna build on top of what we're talking about today.
- 4:01Luis: So if the marriage is running on fumes, then your parenting doesn't hold.
- 4:06Luis: And that's not just a nice sentiment, right?
- 4:09Luis: That's just how the house works.
- 4:10Luis: And so why don't we start by describing what I think is happening in a lot of our homes right now?
- 4:17Luis: And listeners, you're probably going to hear this and be like, oh, he's talking about me, right?
- 4:23Luis: So did you plant a camera in my living room?
- 4:26Luis: I'm like, have.
- 4:27Nate: It was one of those flock cameras.
- 4:28Nate: Was it?
- 4:29Nate: It was.
- 4:29Nate: Okay.
- 4:30Nate: So good.
- 4:31Nate: You didn't use you didn't use one of the blink where it's connected to Alexa, who spies on you?
- 4:35Nate: I may have.
- 4:36Nate: Okay.
- 4:37Nate: Do you use Alexa?
- 4:38Nate: I do.
- 4:38Nate: Do you?
- 4:39Nate: No, I stopped because I used to have a smart plug that I would plug my Christmas tree into, and then I was like, Alexa, turn on the Christmas tree.
- 4:48Nate: And it like it started playing like country music.
- 4:52Nate: And I'm like, that number one doesn't fit at all.
- 4:54Nate: And two, this says sounds nothing like Christmas tree.
- 4:58Nate: So anyway, you don't trust it anymore.
- 5:00Nate: I don't trust it anymore.
- 5:01Nate: In fact, it's in a dump sometimes.
- 5:04Nate: It's coming back to get you there.
- 5:05Nate: Yeah, it probably will.
- 5:06Luis: At some point when it takes over the world, like she's gonna hunt you down.
- 5:09Luis: Yep.
- 5:10Luis: Alexa.
- 5:11Luis: And so but for us at our school, school started about a week ago.
- 5:15Luis: Yep.
- 5:15Luis: For you, school may have may have started this week or today.
- 5:19Luis: You know, maybe several weeks in, right?
- 5:21Luis: But what starts to happen is your calendar gets filled up in a way that probably wasn't the case over the summer.
- 5:28Luis: In fact, we did a series back in the summer about the different things that you can do over the summer.
- 5:33Luis: But practices started, dance started, homework started, somebody has a group project, somebody has a test, somebody made a team, somebody didn't make the team, your work is picking back up, church activities started back up.
- 5:48Luis: Has your church started midweek services yet?
- 5:50Nate: Yep, yep, we're back rolling.
- 5:51Luis: And so in the middle of all of that, your wife, your husband, is constantly talking, right?
- 5:58Luis: Like all day long, right?
- 6:00Luis: Text, quick check-ins in the kitchen.
- 6:02Luis: Hey, who's getting the kids tomorrow?
- 6:04Luis: Maybe you're in the driveway while the car's still running, and like, hey, I'm getting groceries today.
- 6:09Nate: Yep, yep.
- 6:10Nate: And that's really the trap, is because it feels like you're communicating, right?
- 6:14Nate: There is a lot of communication happening.
- 6:17Nate: You're you're coordinating and it it is.
- 6:19Nate: It can be, you know, trying to get the minivan to two different places at once to drop the different kids off and whatever, but there's a difference between communicating and connecting, right?
- 6:29Nate: That's really true.
- 6:29Nate: And so if you're actually, you know, listen back to the recording of those exchanges or you go back and read through your text thread, most couples would find that 90% of it was was operational, right?
- 6:42Nate: Pick up, drop off, money, forms, turn it in, handle this Thursday.
- 6:46Nate: And that's really that's not what marriage is about.
- 6:48Nate: That's project management.
- 6:50Nate: And that's what makes this really hard, right?
- 6:53Luis: Because to catch it, it feels responsible, right?
- 6:56Luis: It feels like you're doing the right thing because you are doing a lot of right things, right?
- 7:01Luis: The kids are getting where they need to be, the forms are getting side.
- 7:04Luis: We hope.
- 7:05Luis: Yep.
- 7:05Luis: Your household is functioning.
- 7:06Luis: Yes, right.
- 7:07Luis: Nobody's failing at anything obvious.
- 7:10Luis: But what I've noticed sometimes in my own life is that if we get extremely busy taking care of the family, and simultaneously I can neglect my wife, right?
- 7:21Luis: Like I can get so good at the logistics of managing a household that my wife is craving for my attention.
- 7:29Luis: She's craving for a date night.
- 7:31Luis: And those two things can be true at the same time, and the combination becomes very dangerous because the busyness gives you cover and you don't feel guilty because you feel like, look at everything I'm doing.
- 7:46Nate: Yeah.
- 7:47Nate: And and honestly, that is where, like, you know, you and I have been around, you know, churches long enough.
- 7:52Nate: Like, we've seen those couples where that was their default operating status for their entire life.
- 7:58Nate: And either when the kids leave the house, then they realize, like, I don't I don't know this person who I'm living with anymore.
- 8:07Nate: Like you've been married for 15, 20 years, and now that the kids are out in your empty nesters, that was what your whole existence was built around.
- 8:15Nate: And then their a divorce comes in.
- 8:17Nate: I've even seen a family where they were so busy, kids, grandkids, job, and then it was finally when they retired and they were in the grandparent stage, and they they retired and they started sp actually spending time together and realized they didn't know each other anymore and they ended up getting divorced.
- 8:35Nate: They were so far apart from the city.
- 8:36Nate: Because that was that they were just so busy.
- 8:38Nate: Yeah.
- 8:38Nate: And so the busyness can be an alibi.
- 8:41Nate: And we need to make sure, right?
- 8:42Nate: This is really especially for for dads in particular.
- 8:46Nate: But but in a lot of homes, when the calendar gets full and the the husband goes into full-on provider mode and stays there, you know, provider mode's a good thing, right?
- 8:55Nate: It's biblical.
- 8:56Nate: You you see that in, you know, the biblical mandates for for us men who are listening to this, right?
- 9:02Nate: To be a provider, but that can't be your only mode is providing and protecting, right?
- 9:08Nate: You know, you're working, you're driving, you're paying for things, you can spend an entire school year serving even your wife and your children, but you're not actually connecting with them, building relationships and and loving them well because you're just trying to get the stuff done.
- 9:26Nate: You don't take time to actually see the person right in front of you.
- 9:29Luis: And you almost can kind of feel like you can give yourself a pat on the back, right?
- 9:33Luis: Because you're doing all of those good things, right?
- 9:37Luis: And so here's the question that I think you need to ask yourself.
- 9:41Luis: And I'd like to encourage you to really stop and answer it rather than just let it go by.
- 9:46Luis: But when was the last real conversation that you had with with your spouse that was not about your children, your schedule, or your money?
- 9:56Luis: And if the answer is, hmm, I'd have to think about that, then that's probably something worth looking into.
- 10:02Nate: Yep.
- 10:03Nate: So as we kind of start building this out in this episode about your marriage, I think a great place for us to start, where we normally start for our long-term listeners, is in scripture itself, right?
- 10:14Nate: We don't want this to just be, you know, marriage counseling or self-help or anything.
- 10:18Nate: We want to be clear on what scripture actually says about marriage, because you know, co-manager marriage is really a failure of an imagination for for more of what God really created marriage to be.
- 10:33Nate: Yeah.
- 10:33Nate: Okay.
- 10:34Nate: So let's go all the way back, right?
- 10:35Nate: All the way back to the beginning.
- 10:36Nate: Genesis 2, where God is is created, you know, Adam, he created Eve, and then what he says is, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast.
- 10:47Nate: Some translations say cleave, so we get that nice Baptist rhyming, leave and cleave, right?
- 10:52Nate: Hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
- 10:57Nate: That's really good.
- 10:58Nate: Yeah, that that union, right?
- 10:59Nate: It's not an arrangement, it's not really even a partnership, right?
- 11:04Nate: It's a it's a oneness.
- 11:06Nate: Two people whose lives have been fused into a single thing, the marriage unit.
- 11:13Nate: And you gotta notice what it doesn't say.
- 11:15Nate: It doesn't say that they will be an effective team or that they will successfully divide their responsibilities, right?
- 11:22Nate: But no, it's a oneness where it's two people like living in harmony and fullness together as one.
- 11:29Luis: And then Paul does something in Ephesians 5 that if we're not careful, we will overlook, right?
- 11:35Luis: He he goes back to that same idea in Genesis 2.24, and then he says, This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
- 11:45Luis: And so marriage is a picture, it's meant to display something.
- 11:50Luis: Your marriage makes a statement about the relationship between Jesus and his people, whether you intended for it or not, right?
- 12:00Luis: And that's what raises the stakes because a co-manager marriage, it it's it's gonna say something, right?
- 12:05Luis: It's it's gonna say something that that's not true.
- 12:08Luis: It says that the relationship between Jesus and his church is functional, that it's cooperative, that it's efficient, that it's two parties who coordinate well and and stay out of each other's way, but but that's not the gospel, right?
- 12:20Luis: Christ doesn't manage his church, Christ gave himself up for her.
- 12:24Nate: Yeah, and and that's that's uh that that's a really interesting point, right?
- 12:28Nate: And and in Ephesians, you know, it it keeps going on, and sometimes people get their feathers ruffled because you know you hear these words about you know submission, love, and submit and and all of that, and and you miss the weight of what's really put on a marriage, right?
- 12:45Nate: It says, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
- 12:53Nate: In verse 28, it says, In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, for no one hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church.
- 13:06Nate: Like that's really awesome.
- 13:07Nate: The the nourish, the cherish in that relationship.
- 13:10Nate: You know, you you gotta gotta park on that because those aren't like management words.
- 13:15Nate: It's not like you no one focuses on their own body and tries to just make it as as efficient as possible, right?
- 13:22Nate: Yeah.
- 13:22Nate: No, they they take care of it, they they treat themselves every once in a while, they you know enjoy, you know, moving and doing things, and you and so that's the way you should have that relationship with your spouse is that you're you're loving them like you love yourself and enjoying those moments and actively feeding the relationship so it grows and there's like a warmth to it, and it's just it's a great picture where it's it's not a it's not just a a partnership, yeah, right?
- 13:50Nate: It's a oneness that's coming together.
- 13:52Luis: And I think this is a good moment to just pause and talk to to the husbands that are listening to this, right?
- 13:58Luis: Because I think I think it's entirely possible for you to become a good provider for your home and be a poor husband, right?
- 14:07Luis: It's possible to have your wife's schedule memorized, but have no idea what she's actually carrying.
- 14:13Luis: And and Christ doesn't just meet the church's needs, right?
- 14:17Luis: He gave himself up for her, and there's a difference between serving someone and giving yourself to them.
- 14:24Luis: And every husband that's listening knows exactly what that difference feels like from the inside.
- 14:31Luis: And wives, we want to talk to you too, right?
- 14:33Luis: Because Ephesians 5 speaks to both of you.
- 14:35Luis: It it tells wives to submit to their own husbands as the Lord, and and I know that that verse can be misused, right?
- 14:41Luis: Like if we're not careful, and that's not what we're here to do, right?
- 14:43Luis: We've we've actually talked about that before.
- 14:46Luis: But inside of this, right, is the idea of submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
- 14:51Luis: And so this passage is about two people who have stopped defending their own territory.
- 14:57Nate: That is really good because I heard John Acuff is a writer I've mentioned on here before, but he talks about you know not keeping score in marriage.
- 15:06Nate: And he he's like, if you if you keep score, you both lose, right?
- 15:10Nate: And so think about that.
- 15:11Nate: If you you pull that into like the co-management marriage, right?
- 15:14Nate: Where one, you know, it's like, oh, well, I'm taking the kids with this week, so you take them next week.
- 15:19Nate: That's that's keeping score.
- 15:21Nate: Hey, I'm gonna do this, so you do that, or I'm gonna I've I've I've cooked dinner four times this week, or whatever it is, yeah, you're keeping score.
- 15:29Nate: And if you keep score, you both lose.
- 15:32Nate: Another thing I just finished teaching actually through a marriage series at in my Sunday school at my church, and one thing I told them was, you know, uh marriage is not 50-50, divorce is fifty-fifty.
- 15:42Nate: And, you know, it's just you give a hundred percent.
- 15:45Nate: Yeah, you're there for a hundred percent.
- 15:46Nate: And so it's yes, wives submit to your husbands, that's there as their headship, but together you're submitting to one another because husbands are loving in a sacrificial, submissive way.
- 15:58Nate: And so we we we want to make sure that that is brought up where it's just like we are caring for each other, and yes, that's gonna mean we have to coordinate and get stuff done, but but we're focused on loving each other well, submitting and caring for each other in in that.
- 16:14Luis: So we've talked about the parents, we've talked about marriage.
- 16:17Luis: What if we now talk about the kids, right?
- 16:20Luis: Because we've been in school education a long time, right?
- 16:25Luis: And children read the emotional climate between their parents.
- 16:30Luis: It doesn't require words, they just they just sense it and it's the vibe.
- 16:34Nate: The vibe that's what the that's what the cool kids say now.
- 16:36Nate: That's the vibe.
- 16:37Luis: Do they say that?
- 16:38Nate: I think so.
- 16:38Nate: Okay.
- 16:38Nate: All right.
- 16:39Nate: Vibe check.
- 16:39Luis: Oh, that's true.
- 16:40Luis: That's true.
- 16:41Luis: There you go.
- 16:41Luis: And if you ask your nine-year-old how things are going between mom and dad, he'd probably say fine.
- 16:47Luis: But the truth is that he knows, right?
- 16:49Luis: He knows when there's tension, even when nobody has raised a voice.
- 16:53Luis: He knows when his parents are being polite instead of warm.
- 16:56Nate: Yeah, and and it surfaces, you know, sideways.
- 16:59Nate: It's not, you know, mom, are you and dad okay?
- 17:02Nate: It it comes out as a you know, a seven-year-old who suddenly can't get out the door in the morning, or the meltdown over homework that's really not that hard, or you know, just the middle schooler who just gets quiet, although that's that's typical for middle schoolers, but like even more so, right?
- 17:16Nate: And you look at that and you think, oh, it's a school problem, it's a friend problem, it's a screen problem.
- 17:20Nate: And and it might be, you know, those might be the issue, but you know, you might also see that, you know, maybe it's responding to something that's going on in your home.
- 17:30Nate: You know, you're busy, your calendar's full, and the the relationship, the vibe within the house it has changed.
- 17:40Nate: And so, you know, we we need to make sure that we're aware of that and the and the trickle-down effects in our children's lives.
- 17:47Nate: Yeah.
- 17:47Luis: And here's the good news, right?
- 17:48Luis: That if a child is in a home where mom and dad are warm toward each other and has stability that you can't manufacture any other way, right?
- 17:58Luis: So when he goes to class, he's not sitting in class doing a background check, processing whether his family is okay.
- 18:06Luis: And when you think about it, like that's that's an enormous amount of a kid's capacity that gets taken up worrying about mom and dad.
- 18:14Luis: Are they okay?
- 18:16Luis: And I think in some ways it's the most underrated thing that as a parent we do, and it doesn't really cost you anything on your calendar, right?
- 18:25Luis: Your kids don't need details about your marriage, they just need to see that you like each other, that you are enjoying each other's marriage.
- 18:36Nate: Yeah, yeah.
- 18:36Nate: And and they're seeing small things, right?
- 18:39Nate: The way you greet each other when you come in the door, you know, you don't just start dumping information, you know, how how dads talks to mom with respect or about mom when she's not in the room.
- 18:51Nate: You know, you you're telling jokes and laugh together.
- 18:54Nate: You you probably even have some inside jokes that only the two of you know about, right?
- 18:59Nate: And when you mess up, you apologize to each other.
- 19:02Nate: And so, and that's that's probably one of the biggest right there, right?
- 19:05Nate: Is is that it comes back.
- 19:06Nate: We we've talked about repentance before and and modeling that when you mess up, because you will mess up, right?
- 19:11Nate: And so you need to you need to do that even with your spouse.
- 19:15Nate: And your child can see that and they will learn from that and recognize like I can do this in the most important relationships in my life, which are those there in in the home.
- 19:27Nate: Yeah.
- 19:28Nate: So let's let's get practical, okay?
- 19:29Nate: As we wrap this one up here today, Lewis, like what is something you know we can do as you know, husband, wife, as a spouse that, you know, can help make sure that we're not f defaulting into that co-management thing.
- 19:43Luis: So here's the number one thing you can do this week, right?
- 19:46Luis: Is make sure you're having conversations with each other that don't have anything to do with your children.
- 19:53Luis: Yep.
- 19:53Luis: So you're not planning, there's no logistics, no kids, no money.
- 19:58Luis: And I know that you might be thinking, well, that just sounds easy until you try it and realize that you don't have anything to talk about, right?
- 20:05Luis: And so first thing this week is have a conversation with one another, 30 minutes, and have it not be about the kids, about school, about money.
- 20:16Luis: Money.
- 20:16Luis: Yep.
- 20:16Nate: It's just you and your wife talking to each other.
- 20:19Nate: Yeah.
- 20:20Nate: So they're a conversation, right?
- 20:22Nate: And and then the second one, you can sit down and have a conversation.
- 20:26Nate: This is a logistics conversation, but have a conversation about what your family will say no to.
- 20:31Nate: Right.
- 20:32Nate: Before the invitation comes, you pre-decide, like, you know, even if it's a good thing, even if it's a reasonable thing, even if everybody else is doing it, you're gonna say no to some things so that you know that you've got space for each other and your family, right?
- 20:50Nate: And you can decide that together ahead of time, and that'll save you stress down the line.
- 20:56Luis: And that's we've talked about that before, right?
- 20:58Luis: Yeah, we've talked about deciding what you're gonna say no to.
- 21:02Luis: Yep.
- 21:02Luis: And so the third thing is to pray together about your children instead of only worrying out loud about them.
- 21:08Luis: And that one is is easy for us to overlook or to dismiss, right?
- 21:14Luis: Because there's a version of parenting where you spend enormous energy talking about your kid's problem and almost none bringing those problems to the Lord together.
- 21:24Luis: And those two activities feel similar, but one of them exhausts you and exasperates you, but the other one grounds you in the Lord.
- 21:33Luis: And and husbands, I'd encourage you, right?
- 21:34Luis: If you've never prayed out loud with your wife, that's your on-ramp, right?
- 21:38Luis: Pray for your kid by name for 30 seconds with your wife out loud.
- 21:44Nate: That's an easy start.
- 21:45Nate: Yeah, that's that's really good.
- 21:46Nate: And notice all three of these are are small, right?
- 21:49Nate: One conversation, predecisions, praying out loud.
- 21:53Nate: They're small.
- 21:54Nate: They may not be easy, but it requires some intentionality.
- 21:58Nate: Yeah, yeah.
- 21:59Luis: And I know that a lot of What we've said has sounded like we're talking to moms and dads, and I know that there's probably listeners here that you're a single parent, right?
- 22:06Luis: You're doing this by yourself.
- 22:09Luis: There's a divided home.
- 22:10Luis: You're walking with the Lord and your spouse isn't.
- 22:13Luis: And you've prayed about that for years.
- 22:14Luis: And so some of you are in a blended family that gets a little bit more complicated.
- 22:18Luis: Uh, and and you're thinking, well, this is a lot harder than you're actually making it sound.
- 22:23Luis: And some of you are in a dri are in a marriage that maybe is falling apart or it's in trouble.
- 22:29Luis: And so I want to remind you that we did a whole episode on divided homes back in season one.
- 22:35Luis: And and and I'd point you to listen there, right?
- 22:37Luis: There's there's a lot of good stuff.
- 22:38Luis: But but three quick things I want to give you if this is describing you, right?
- 22:44Luis: What a child needs is to see an adult walking with Christ under pressure, right?
- 22:48Luis: Two parents doing that together is God's design and it's his gift, but one parent doing it faithfully is not nothing, right?
- 22:55Luis: It's it's still enormous.
- 22:57Luis: Two, if you are in a divided home, your spouse is not your assignment, right?
- 23:02Luis: Peter says wives may win their husbands without a word and by their conduct, and that's this long, patient road, and it's not some sort of three-step strategy.
- 23:12Luis: And then three, if your marriage is genuinely in trouble, don't try to fix it with a podcast.
- 23:18Luis: Call your pastor, seek counseling, work on it together, start now.
- 23:24Nate: Although podcasts are really good.
- 23:26Nate: They can be, especially there's this great one.
- 23:28Nate: You should listen to it.
- 23:28Nate: It's called Equipped for Impact.
- 23:30Nate: I've heard of it.
- 23:31Nate: Yep.
- 23:31Nate: So that divided episode, that divided house episode.
- 23:34Nate: Um, it was called Weekend Discipleship.
- 23:37Nate: It was episode 15.
- 23:39Nate: We're on 71 now.
- 23:40Nate: Wow.
- 23:41Nate: So that was way back.
- 23:42Nate: 56 episodes ago.
- 23:43Nate: Yep, there you go.
- 23:44Nate: Wow, that was a while.
- 23:45Nate: And I was quick math in my head, too.
- 23:47Nate: Look at you.
- 23:48Nate: Are you actually Lewis?
- 23:50Nate: Are you AI?
- 23:51Nate: I may be AI.
- 23:51Nate: Okay.
- 23:52Nate: This may not be my real voice.
- 23:53Nate: Okay.
- 23:53Nate: We've I've actually replaced Lewis with an AI.
- 23:56Nate: All right.
- 23:57Nate: So, Lewis, last word, you know, encouragement for the parents, for the moms and dads, the husbands and wives first who are listening to this.
- 24:04Nate: What what encouragement would you give them as we wrap up this episode 71?
- 24:09Luis: Look, you your your marriage matters.
- 24:11Luis: The reason your marriage matters this much is that it's not about you being a better parent or you being a better husband or wife.
- 24:18Luis: It's that it always was meant to be a picture of Christ giving himself for this, for his church, right?
- 24:26Luis: No husband is pulling that off on their own.
- 24:28Luis: Uh I can't do it, you can't do it.
- 24:31Luis: That kind of love isn't something that you generate, it's something that you receive first and then pass on.
- 24:36Luis: And so let me encourage you, if you're listening to this and you're married, right?
- 24:40Luis: Find time to have one conversation with your spouse.
- 24:44Luis: Spend time with her.
- 24:46Luis: Husband's initiator, right?
- 24:48Luis: Don't wait for her to ask because everything else that we've talked about in this episode is a downstream from our relationship with Christ.
- 24:59Nate: That's really good there.
- 25:00Nate: So I hope you all enjoyed this episode and it will help you in your marriages as it's the foundation of your home.
- 25:08Nate: Uh, make sure you hit subscribe so you don't miss our next episode as we continue this series of being built for the long haul.
- 25:16Nate: Well, we're gonna bring that down to the parent child relationship.
- 25:19Nate: So make sure you come back for that one.
- 25:21Nate: Thank you all for listening to Equipped for Impact.
- 25:24Nate: And until next time, keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ.