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Running Toward Jesus · Choosing Jesus

• 0:17
  Christina: Hi friends. It's Christina Wamsler. Welcome back to Choosing Jesus. I'm so delighted to be here with you today. In this week's episode, we talk about running towards Jesus, running toward the Lord.
• 0:29
  What does that look like? How do we know if we are, what do we do when we run into dry patches where we're just not feeling as inspired in the spirit? It's like faith is greater than feelings we know. And so how do we, how do we walk through that? So I shared a story about that.
• 0:43
  We also talk about how we spend each moment and how we spend each moment choosing the Lord and walking towards the Lord. And that is what our Christian life is made up of. So really excited for this episode. And the question I have us pondering and considering today as we head into the episode is simply, are you running towards Jesus? Are you running towards Jesus?
• 1:04
  So I pray the Lord just meets you in that now and throughout this episode and beyond. Let's enter in. Today, we're gonna be talking about Running Towards Jesus, Running Towards the Lord and what that looks like. I wanna start by... With a quote from this book that I'm actually currently reading.
• 1:21
  Haven't even finished it. It's really good. Liturgy of the Ordinary. I will not lie. I have been fascinated by this book because I am a peanut butter and jellyaholic and on the cover is...
• 1:33
  I guess, technically, could be toast with jam and toast with peanut butter, but it's giving peanut butter and jelly. And that intrigued me enough. So good work, Tricia Harrison Warren. No, sorry, Trish. Tish, my bad.
• 1:46
  Tish Harrison Warren on your cover because it pulled me in. It pulled me in. I fell victim to your peanut butter and jelly. I will fall victim to peanut butter and jelly most times, unfortunately. So she goes off of a quote from Annie...
• 2:04
  Sorry, we must find out together. She's pulling from a quote from Annie Dillard. She said, Annie Dillard famously writes, how we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives. Already snaps enough. But Tish dares to go on.
• 2:18
  She says, how I spend this ordinary day in Christ is how I will spend my Christian life. I'm gonna just let that sit for a second. Okay. So how are we spending today in Christ? How are we spending today?
• 2:39
  How am I spending today in Christ? Okay. It is how we will spend our life. And I do think when I chat with people about following the Lord or people say different things, I'm like, it's every single day. I have to wake up and choose it.
• 2:52
  I wake up a lot of days and I'm like, I choose you Jesus. I choose you. I thank you for this day. I have not seen this one before. I like that prayer because even on ugly days or days where I'm not feeling it, it's still true.
• 3:04
  I'm grateful for the day and I haven't seen it before. It may be ugly. It may be hard, but I haven't seen it before. And that's true. And that's kind of just feels like something to say.
• 3:14
  A lot of times I pray that the first time I step outside in a day as well. I'm like, thank you for this day. I haven't seen this one before. I also, yeah, I just have different prayers that I start my day with. One of them is the prayer of Jabez.
• 3:26
  I believe it's in first Chronicles four. Jabez prays. It's like there... I read a book on the prayer of Jabez, but he says, Oh Lord, that you would bless me indeed and enlarge my border and that your hand might be with me and you would deliver me from evil that I might not cause harm. All of this is to say how we start our day matters.
• 3:46
  And I think people talk a lot about quiet time and spending time with the Lord. Yes. Yes. And amen. I'll talk a little bit about maybe that, but I felt on a walk the other day as I was just praying about this podcast, like what does it look like to run towards Jesus?
• 4:00
  And there is a wonderful worship song called Resurrender that talks about this. And it is... It says, if you're calling, we're coming. We're not walking, we're running. And I was on this walk and I just had this sense of like, if the Lord was down the block right now, if Jesus was down the block right now, like how would I be getting to Him?
• 4:22
  Would I even see that He's there? Like, am I posturing my life in a way that I would even be aware if He was in this room right now? Like He is in our midst. Like He dwells with us. But do I live like it?
• 4:34
  Do I act like it? It's very thought provoking for me. Maybe I'm not like an exception by any means, but I'm such a ponderer that I'm like, maybe everyone has these thoughts all the time or I just ponder the heck out of everything. I don't know. But I was like, wow, Lord, if you were here, I hope...
• 4:54
  If you were physically here, I hope I would notice. Because to be honest, some on my worst days, wouldn't. I would be so preoccupied with things of this internally or things of this world that just ultimately don't matter. I could be preoccupied about an insecurity that I have, that I'm looking over here when Jesus is right there waiting for me. I could be so preoccupied with this forgiveness, unforgiveness that I'm harboring, that I'm like looking down in annoyance and not looking up to where the Lord is.
• 5:26
  And so obviously this is like hypothetical metaphorical? Yes. But am I even aware of Jesus in the room? Do I even believe that He is near? Not only near, but also scripture says near to the brokenhearted.
• 5:40
  He's just with us. He's in our midst. And so am I believing that? Am I looking for that? So first, would I even notice Jesus if He's in the room or if He was on this walk with me or if He was down the block?
• 5:49
  And how would I be getting to Him? Would I allow things to distract me from Him? Would I be like, oh, there Jesus is. Well, I'm gonna go this way and just kinda get sidetracked on this thing over here first and then do this. And then I'll maybe kind of make my way towards the Lord.
• 6:04
  Or am I focused on the Lord? I really... You don't know how you're gonna react or respond. I really... I think so many of us, if the Lord was near and in this room, there have been so many nights...
• 6:19
  I will be so real. There have been so many nights where I've been so sad and I just am like, Lord, if you could just hug me, it would be... Like, I just wish I could hug Jesus. And I've shared that with certain friends because... Which now I'm embarrassingly sharing it.
• 6:34
  It's not embarrassing. But that... Like, I'm a physical touch person and so a hug goes a long way. And so I'm like, Lord, if you could just hug me, I would believe that I'm gonna be okay. Like this is so hard.
• 6:46
  And I actually had a friend. This is so... I'm not gonna say word fighting because she does it too. So then that made me feel a little bit better. But I have fallen asleep many nights with my Bible on my chest to feel like the weight of the Lord.
• 7:00
  Like it genuinely feels like a physical touch way to view it. The Lord sounds really weird, but you've never been down bad if you haven't had to do that. I don't know. But I literally am like, Lord, I need I need your presence. Like I need you here.
• 7:13
  And so, I will literally hug my... I'm like, yeah. I have spent nights hugging my Bible to sleep, which sounds so sad, but I will be real because if it helps someone, I don't care. And I'm really grateful for my friend who shared that to me with me because I have done it. And it just...
• 7:28
  It's such a physical reminder that he is near. And it feels like a hug from Jesus. So as lame as that sounds, I don't care about being lame. That made me feel near to the Lord. But I say all that to say, if the Lord was in the room, all I always am like, Lord, please just hold me.
• 7:42
  Like I would crumble into His arms sobbing if He was in this room right now. I believe because of just the weight of the world, the weight of this life, the weight of not being in eternity, the weight of sin and how its repercussions, the weight of heartbreak, the weight of the brokenness of the world. Like there's so much weight that is not ours to carry, but being in the broken world, you feel some of it. I would crumble. Anyway, all that to say, are we running towards Jesus?
• 8:09
  Am I running towards Jesus? And honestly, is like a beautiful ponderful reflective way I could walk towards the Lord with my eyes still on Him and meet Him if He were metaphorically, hypothetically right there. But I want to be running after the things of Jesus. I want to be focused on that. I had a professor say, Oh, it got personal when a professor said this to me.
• 8:29
  So she didn't say it to me. She said it in a lecture, but it felt personal. So she has said, which I've heard this said, but again, until a professor said it to me, was like, I'm not paying attention. Not like I'm not paying attention, but it hit different. But she's just like, run.
• 8:42
  If you're single, run hard and fast after Jesus. And if when you are running, you look to the right or left and there is someone keeping up with you, introduce yourself. I love that so much. And I was like, noted professor, like noted. But truly we should be running, setting our course, running after Jesus.
• 9:05
  This isn't about singleness or not singleness, but that's how I've met my closest friends. That's how I've met the people that really I walk it out with is I'm just running after the Lord. And that is by His grace and His strength. And I totally stumble all the time. You will hear me say that time and time and time and time and time again because I do, but begin again.
• 9:27
  And are we running after Him? It's also like as... I mean, I need to focus on myself, how do I know? How can I do a pulse check if I'm like, I don't know, am I running after the Lord? I feel kind of stale.
• 9:37
  I feel kind of dry. Like, am I running after him? I really think that that's a trap we can fall into because it's actually just not about our feelings at all. Like running after the Lord is a decision we make and it has nothing to do with our feelings. It has taken me years of following the Lord to finally have that settle in a deeper level, that it is not about feelings, which I'm like kind of just a feeler.
• 9:57
  Like I just... I'm a dancer. I'm an emote like, oh my gosh, my worship. I'm like, I just love to feel things. But that's not always the case.
• 10:06
  And that does not mean you're doing anything wrong. Okay. So there have been times where I have just... I mean, you just have to, oh my gosh, following the Lord for years, you have to just choose Him when you are just feeling, oh my gosh. There's a quote that I I read one time.
• 10:20
  It was just like, choose reading the word when it feels like you're chewing on cardboard. Just the same as when it feels like the most magical, not magical, but endearing, lively, vibrant process. So how do we... It's discipline. It is discipline.
• 10:38
  And the Lord does give us discipline and He gives us grace when we don't have that discipline. But it is our responsibility to be like, I feel nothing. I'm looking at the word and it keeps going fuzzy because I'm like zoned in on none of it. It's not making sense. I don't know.
• 10:52
  I'm getting nothing off of this... Out of this. It doesn't matter. Keep showing up and keep reading the word. But, and I've had people say to you, like, I can't get myself to open the word.
• 11:02
  Shout out to the person who asked me this question recently. But they were like, what would you say to someone who like can't even just can't... It's trying to get in the word and can't say in the word. First of all, hello. Hi.
• 11:12
  My name is Christina. Me too. But I would say if you... If someone was like, I can't open my... I can't bring myself to open my Bible every day.
• 11:20
  I'd say then don't shut the thing. Don't shut it. Leave it open on your pillow and never shut it. And now you will have to run into it naturally. And what a way to stay in the word.
• 11:33
  I've had to do that before. It stayed open and stayed open while in my bed because I was like, I know if I shut it, I just don't have like the willpower to open it very often right now. Very real, very real. There's grace for that. But then don't shut it.
• 11:44
  Like, I'm like, how can we solve the problems before they happen? And I wanna make sure I'm like not getting too sidetracked on this right now, but, we run towards the Lord. How can we know it's not based on our feelings? It's not. There's there's times where the Lord is just so kind and you just know, oh my gosh, I'm just, the Lord is near.
• 12:04
  I feel that. I know that. I'm walking in his ways. I'm walking in paths that lead to righteousness and Christ likeness, which I know he has for me. And then there are times where you're just like, Lord, are you there?
• 12:16
  There is just, oh my gosh, scripture after scripture. Scripture. Hello? Hello? Are you there, Lord?
• 12:20
  I... Psalm 40 is one that I just... I returned to, I really love, but I just was reading it this morning. It's like, Lord, I am poor and needy. Please come help me.
• 12:30
  Please, you are my help. You are my deliverer. Please come help me. I'm trying to think of other prayers I prayed in desperation when I just feel like he's far. But...
• 12:39
  Gosh. Do I have to share that? I think I do. There was this night, couple months ago, a few months ago. I've been in the word a lot and I had been feeling stale a lot.
• 12:48
  And stale, I'm using that term just like not not super feels y. I kinda feel like a brick wall internally while I was like longing for the Lord. And I was like, he just feels so far. And I was just crying out to the Lord in prayer one night. And I was like, Lord, I seriously, I don't feel you.
• 13:05
  I don't feel you at all. Like, I don't know what's going on. And I know I'm not supposed to go off of that, but I'm also human. I know you have grace for the fact that I'm human and you know my desire is to to feel you near. And I know you're near, but I just don't feel it.
• 13:16
  And all of a sudden I started reciting scriptures over myself. I'm like very, very upset this evening. I... It was like not super chill. And I started reciting scriptures over myself that if someone had said, list some scriptures that you know by heart, I never would have said these ones.
• 13:34
  Like I didn't know that I knew them, but I had been in the word a lot. I've been making myself look at it because sometimes it's a practice and a discipline and sometimes it's the most fun vibrant thing. And you're like, Lord met me over my little latte. This is the best. God's so good.
• 13:46
  And then there are times where you're like, what the heck Lord? Or maybe you don't even say heck. Maybe you say something else because honestly, I'm just being real. It's hard sometimes. But that was crazy.
• 13:54
  That was crazy. But there are times you're just like, Lord, what is going on? But I was crying out to him this night. I was... I...
• 14:04
  Scripture started washing over me. And I I do remember specifically, I don't even know if I... I don't... I'm trying to discern what to share and what not to share as I say it. But I was like, the the light has come and the darkness cannot overcome it.
• 14:17
  I think this is a paraphrase of sorts from John. I might go to John really fast just to look. But I just kept saying the darkness cannot overcome it. The darkness cannot overcome it. Because I was just in a battle of the mind that night.
• 14:27
  I'll be so real. And the darkness cannot overcome the light of Christ, which has come and dwells within me. And I know that. And I declared it. I said the darkness cannot overcome it.
• 14:38
  All this to say, which I do wanna find that in John really fast, because I know it's like the beginning of John and I want to make sure we're always in the word, in the scriptures. And I don't mean to take them out of context. I just mean to be hopefully empowering myself and all of us by His word. Let's see. And then where is it?
• 14:58
  And the darkness cannot overcome it. Where is it? Where is it? The true light, which gives light to everyone was coming to the world. Oh, oh, oh, here we go.
• 15:14
  Yes. Let's go. Okay. I'm just gonna read John one one through five. It says, In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.
• 15:23
  Oh my gosh. I'm gonna cry. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him and without Him was not anything that was made. Anything made that was made.
• 15:37
  In Him was life and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. I don't know John that well. Like this is not... I was not in the book of John at this time and I just kept saying, the light has come and the darkness cannot overcome it.
• 15:53
  That is a biblical truth that I didn't really feel in that moment, but I declared over my circumstances in my life and my heart and my mind. If I am real, it was a battle of the mind and this along with other scriptures. And I was like, no, I am confident of this. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Don't get me started on Psalm 27 verse 13.
• 16:14
  I love that. Be courageous, take heart, wait for the Lord. And I just... I got so moved because I was like, Lord, I don't feel you right now, but I got this wave of the Lord is showing up for me as the word right now, which is so funny because I actually didn't connect that till right now that in John is when it says, is the word, which we know. But I was like, I was truly so like, the months and months, the years of reading the word where you just don't feel it came over me when He brought scriptures to mind.
• 16:50
  Holy Spirit will bring scriptures to mind that I didn't even know I knew to carry me through this dark night of the soul, if I'm honest, that He is the Word. And I was like, Lord, you are the Word. You are the Word, Jesus, made flesh and you died on the cross for my sins and you rose again, defeating death. Oh my goodness. Death has no claim on him.
• 17:21
  And rewrote the history of the world. But you are the word and out of your kindness, I could go off. Out of your kindness, you have maybe felt a little far and and had me in the word when I didn't feel like it so that this moment could happen. Maybe so this... I'm not, I don't know the Lord's exact plan over that.
• 17:41
  But what I saw was Him showing up as the word in my life in a way I had never connected Christ as the word, Jesus, God as the word, because all I had was His words, the Word of God. I didn't feel Him near in the ways I am... A lot of times when I encounter the Lord, I feel Him. That's just how I feel near to the Lord. That wasn't happening.
• 18:06
  I, His Word washed over my mind in a way that I was like, this is you as the Word. You are the way, the truth, the life. You are the Word. And I just couldn't, I could not get over it. I was like, God, you're so good.
• 18:22
  And that has stuck with me as I've leaned on the word again, when I don't necessarily feel like it sometimes. But I say all that to say, trust when he feels far. Trust when he doesn't feel... We need to be watching ourselves in scripture. Yes.
• 18:36
  Which by His grace, I was able to do that. That was by no means, I had not studied those scriptures in the way that I was able to recite them. Like, this was nothing to do with my doing. It was His kindness. And He revealed Himself as the Word in a way I never would have sought him if he'd been feeling near.
• 18:51
  I wouldn't have been sobbing on my floor that night if he'd been feeling near the way I was asking him to. So he wasn't depriving himself, but he... Or depriving me of himself, but he was revealing a new way in which he could meet me. And that when I... When we think about it, I am...
• 19:06
  I mentioned four years in to following the Lord really, really, really seriously. I have eternity to go. The fact that around four years in He's showing me a new way to meet with Him that isn't so reliant on my feelings is is such a gift. It's such a gift. Thank you for your kindness, Yahweh.
• 19:24
  Thank you for your kindness, Abba Father. Because it's tough. It's tough and it looks different, but it's out of His kindness that He starts to meet us in new ways, in different ways. Even, I don't know if this relates to how Paul talks about it, but it's like, it's the spiritual food. Like when you were a baby, you were given milk.
• 19:41
  That's how the Lord met you. That's what you needed to have the spiritual food of milk. Now I'm giving you solid food. And it's like, I think as we grow in Christ, there's just different ways He meets us out of His kindness. He's not a one band aid fix all kind of God.
• 19:55
  Oh my gosh, don't get me started on band aids. Have a whole another story on that. Or honestly how I wanted Him to, but what a deeper, richer communion and union with Christ I got to have because it was a whole new way of relating to Him and seeing God be faithful because He is. All this to say, when we're running to the Lord, it doesn't matter how we feel, disregard that. But in fact, I think how can I know if I'm running towards the Lord?
• 20:33
  We can't go off of feelings. Do I see the fruit of the spirit growing in my life? The fruit of the spirit is in Galatians five twenty two through 23, love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control, I think. And are these things growing in me? And oh my gosh, I'm gonna shout out my friend, my friend, Kat.
• 20:52
  She brought into my... Brought to my attention years ago this... It's from a movie, but it's basically like when... Oh my gosh. I think it's Morgan Freeman is saying it.
• 21:00
  I don't know what movie it's from, but Evan Almighty maybe. I don't know. I haven't seen that movie in a long time, if ever. You ask God for patience. He's not gonna just give you patience.
• 21:09
  He's gonna give you opportunities to be patient. I'm shouting out Kat because she re brought into my life and she deserves a shout out. But that's what we see with the fruit of the spirit. So it's not like, am I am I more whatever fruit of the spirit answer. Am I more self controlled?
• 21:26
  That's hard to... I seeing growth in it by the grace of the Lord through opportunities He gives me to demonstrate it? I teach little children dance. I need the fruit of the spirit so badly. They need me to have the fruit of the fruit of the spirit so badly.
• 21:42
  But I just see a lot of opportunity to grow in the fruit and I stumble and I fall and I repent and I get back up. But is the fruit of the spirit growing within me? Are people around me that love me and know me able to see growth in the fruit of the spirit? Or are they like, hey, love you so much. You're kinda bitter today.
• 21:59
  Hey, love you so much. Like, you know, even in love, like these things are honestly, if a friend said that to me, I would feel loved. I'd be like, I'm giving off bitterness. I really wanna heart check that. Where is that where is that coming from?
• 22:09
  Why do I feel that way, Lord? Why do I feel that way? Why do I... Why did that come out that way? What circumstance was I talking about in which made them say that?
• 22:17
  Because I doubt someone who loves and knows me well would say that to be hurtful or just that for no reason, hopefully. But in fact, they want me to walk in the fullness of Christ as well. They want me to run unhinderedly towards the Lord. So we know because we look in. Scripture says you will know them by their fruit.
• 22:34
  You will know them by their fruit. I hope, I hope Lord please, someone can see my life and see the fruit of Christ within my life. And we're not here to judge other people, but when I look around, like you will know them by their fruit. You will know Christians by their fruit, hopefully. And so I use that single analogy, but it's like, it's really important like when you're partnering with someone for life to see their fruit, like what does the fruit of their life look like?
• 22:59
  And I get really humbled because sometimes, I mean, I have a very unbiased... Well, no, no, it is biased. But I have a very specific view of my own life and the fruit I carry. And I a lot of times see the worst and I'm like, oh my gosh, who would wanna partner with this fruit? And that's when the Lord is so kind.
• 23:13
  He's like, there's grace for that. You're growing in it. Someone else will have grace for that, the right person at the right time. But, oh my goodness, we need to fight for the fruit of the spirit and see it in our lives. And don't be surprised when we pray for it and we see opportunities to grow in it because that happens.
• 23:31
  He's so kind to give us opportunities. And I talk about his kindness so much because I need reminded, but also because it is true. It is true. He is after our good. I did write down a scripture actually, I'll read it.
• 23:42
  But this is only the first part. I will get... I will say the whole verse. Even a verse out of context is a little, but it's a Psalm, so we'll go with it. It says, all the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful.
• 23:54
  It does then go on to say to those who love Him and follow His commands maybe. But God is loving and He is faithful to those who are seeking after Him. And He desires for each person to be seeking after Him. His will is that we would be seeking after Him and be in the fullness of life He has for us. And we just are in a broken world and figuring that out as we go.
• 24:17
  That's in Psalm 25, verse 10, I think, 11 maybe. But I wanna read the full thing just to make sure. Sometimes I have remind myself life is not that urgent. Like, I don't know how long these episodes are gonna be. I thought maybe they'd be like seven minutes, but I was like, maybe they'll be like twenty five.
• 24:35
  I don't know. But now I'm like rushing for the sake of your time, I suppose, to this scripture. And it's like, actually, this is not an emergency. I can get to Psalm 25 and in the timing necessary. God is teaching me a lot about slowing down.
• 24:50
  But a lot of the work I do makes me feel really sped up because keeping the attention of four year olds can be quite difficult sometimes, especially when there's truly 16 of them at a time. I digress. Pray for me. I know I love it. It was...
• 25:08
  I'm in Proverbs. Mabbi. Mabbi. I hope that the ruffle of the pages just washes over you, if you can hear them. Oh, I'm about to pop off with Psalm 25.
• 25:29
  Hold on. There's so much goodness in here. I actually can't can't even get over it right now. But the verse I was talking about, all the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies. I love it.
• 25:45
  Additionally, in verse 14, it says, The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear Him and He makes known to them His covenant. My eyes are ever toward the Lord for He will pluck my feet out of the net. We get to have friendship with the Lord. We get have partnership with the Lord. We get to have fullness of life.
• 26:09
  In John ten ten, it says, For the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, but I, Jesus came so that you could have life and have it abundantly. I'm running towards the Lord with all I have because I believe for the abundance of life He has for me. And I really desire for the Lord to get His glory. And I really desire for people around me to see Christ at work in my life even when that's really humbling and it just comes through being like, oh, that girl apologizes a lot for all of her shortcomings and she has a lot of them. Sue me.
• 26:41
  I'm a human. But truly, I Christ is coming again and I'm gonna freaking live like it. Pardon my French. I'm gonna live like it because that is how he gets his glory and that is how people around us can see. And so this is...
• 26:59
  I'm... I don't have the right answers. I... But I'm just I'm so charged about it. And I feel so excited about just running, running.
• 27:12
  There is also another lyric in Good Shepherd. That song has gotten me through a lot. That says, even broken feet could not keep me from seeking the one who chased death out of love for me, I believe, are the lyrics. Are you kidding me? I was at a conference thing once and that girl who wrote those words was speaking about how she...
• 27:33
  And so they've really stuck with me. Broken feet cannot keep us from the Lord if we are seeking Him. We could come up with a million excuses. Oh, I'm a mom. Oh, I have my heart broken.
• 27:42
  Oh, I dah, dah, dah. Oh, I'm a little busy. Honestly, I have four friend meetings that day, so I can't spend time with them. We can come up with all the reasons we want. All the reasons.
• 27:50
  Honestly, legitimate, sometimes reasons that are illegitimate. Because if we are seeking and prioritizing the Lord, our lives will reflect that. And again, I do not do this perfectly, but does your life reflect choices that point towards the Lord? Are you running towards Jesus with your choices? And gonna be pondering this later and I'm gonna be like, dang, I can't believe I spoke a word on that considering I literally fall short in all these ways.
• 28:17
  But, and I will think of the list of the ways that I fall short, but our lives should reflect it. And so I didn't talk about this last time I was talking, but I practiced the Sabbath. It has caused a ruckus in the world around me, not a ruckus, but oh my gosh. I was just... Oh, I could go off.
• 28:35
  Was just listening to a wonderful... I've read Water From a Deep Well by Gerald L. Sitzer. I think I read it for a cohort I was in, but I then have been listening to the... John Mark Comer has been talking to him about that book and about those concepts and they were talking about being witnesses.
• 28:50
  Anyway, they were talking about the early Christian faith and the early Christian church, martyrdom, all the deep, deep extent to which Christianity caused a ruckus in Jesus' name. And I was struck as they were talking about essentially the ruckus that shook, the early Christian church shook the foundation of the cultures around it because people were like, why aren't you bowing down to this Roman situation and Jesus? Like they would let them choose Jesus and the God idol they wanted them to worship on earth, but they wouldn't let them just choose Jesus. And that's why people got murdered. And I was listening to that.
• 29:33
  And I was like, because Christians, if we're choosing truly the way of Jesus, we stir the pot. We stir the pot. We should stir the pot because it's different than than the world around us. But we stir the pot, It makes me so happy. We stir the pot by choosing peace.
• 29:57
  We stir the pot of the culture around us. I'm choking over here. Hold on. This is a good word. It's making me choke.
• 30:13
  That was not the vibe. We stir the pot by forgiving. We're Christians. We should be stirring the pot by prioritizing things differently than the world around us. We should stir the pot by living in contentment.
• 30:36
  We should stir the pot by not needing the newest latest version of things and being content with what we have. Is that what I just said? I'll repeat it. Connor, when you're editing this, do not cut out this. It's really good.
• 30:52
  It's just my... We must stir the pot. The early Christian church stirred the pot and it caused people to die because they would not fold, because they know Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and they lived like it. And I will be darned if I do not live like it. And anyone who is listening to this or knows me personally, you have full permission to call me up and out when I fall short, which we know happens.
• 31:22
  But this is why community is important and I will talk about that on a different episode. But if you don't have people around you seeking that same goal, it's just tough. It's tough in these streets. Okay? It is possible, but not really.
• 31:34
  So find find your people. Find people who feel the same way you do and push you towards it. I have friends who I will go to them. I will say, oh my gosh, this, this, this, this, and this. And they're like, oh, cool.
• 31:44
  What does scripture say about that? And I'm like, no. I'm coming to you, my friend. I need help. And they're like, well, but like, what scriptures are you pulling from for what you just said?
• 31:54
  I need that friend in my life. Thank you, friend. Thank you, bestie. Thank Thank you for having my back. Thank you for pointing me to the Lord.
• 32:01
  So we run towards the Lord by pointing others to the Lord. By... There are times where I'm talking about the Lord twenty four seven, hello, Choosing Jesus podcast currently as we speak. And there are times where I have felt to not utter the name of Jesus in a certain context or place or to a certain person for very, very, very long time. And hopefully the way we live points to Him whether they know it or not.
• 32:24
  I do wear a cross earrings every single day and a cross tackles every single day. So, you know, people be knowing if they wanna know. But I actually think that there's such strength in the right context, not always talking about the Lord. I do find myself in a lot of Christian spaces because I cannot shut up, as I said, Psalm 27, about the goodness of the Lord that I believe I will see in the land of the living and I fight to see every single day in the land of the living. But are you running towards Jesus?
• 32:51
  What's stopping you from running towards Jesus? Maybe take that to the Lord in prayer. Is it legitimate? And do you have those around you who are helping you also be running towards Jesus, pointing towards Jesus? Are you serving at church?
• 33:05
  Are you... Do you have a church that you like? Do you have a church home? Are you invested? Are you planted?
• 33:10
  There are just tools that help us actually be able to walk it out because... Run it out, if you will. Because it's not meant to be done alone. It is meant to be done in community around tables. And I've seen the fruit of that.
• 33:23
  I've seen the gift of that. But I've also lived in times where it's felt like that was hard to find or like, you're like, I don't know who my people are. I don't know what that looks like. There's grace for that. Don't beat yourself up.
• 33:31
  You're gonna... Lord will bring the right people at the right time, but you gotta also put yourself out there sometimes. My sister and I talked about that on her podcast one time, about putting yours... Being the friend you wish you had. So if you're like, dang, I wish I had friends that would call me up and out, maybe have the conversation with your friend.
• 33:45
  That's how I... The friend that I... One of the friends that I confide in most, I... One time, we were just hanging out, laying on some concrete in a parking lot, looking up at this guy. It was...
• 33:55
  We weren't gonna get run over. Don't worry. And I was like, pretty new in her life. Like, we're pretty new in each other's lives, but I just knew she was she was a true one. And I'd seen her walk with the Lord.
• 34:04
  And so I was like, okay. And I was like, can I confess something to you? And I was so nervous. And I confessed something that I was struggling with. And also, yes, I do think asking, can I confess something to you?
• 34:19
  Do you have capacity for that? Why start? Why start? She was like, yeah, sure. I confessed something.
• 34:24
  And from then on, we just had that friendship. And it was... I'm grateful that she felt mutual and that we were able to share that with each other and the accountability for each other. We call each other up and out. It's painful friendship at times, not because of our friendship, but because of the truth that is the center of it.
• 34:43
  And there are things that she says that I'm like, I didn't like that she said that. That was completely true and scriptural. And I feel convicted. That's why I didn't like it. And it's like, I love her more because of it.
• 34:54
  But all that to say, sometimes you have to be that friend to have that friend, or you need to step out of your comfort zone and ask someone to be that friend. And it can be awkward for a second, don't worry about it. Honestly, don't worry about it. As I mentioned, I'm a teacher. I would tell my students all the time that awkward or embarrassed are a choice.
• 35:08
  I don't know if this is... I don't know where I get this backing and it might not be completely true. So I'm sorry about that. But I'm like, awkward's a choice. Don't choose it.
• 35:18
  I was like, embarrassment's a choice. We're just not gonna choose it. Don't worry about it. Go dance in front of your school. Like it's okay.
• 35:23
  And I think that's the same thing with friendship. Like in the grand scheme y poo, let's think about this. I could go to someone and be like, do you wanna be my friend? And honestly, it makes me feel so elementary. Do wanna be my friend?
• 35:33
  I just heard one of my students ask a different friend yesterday. She literally was like, went up to a girl in in her class and was like, do you wanna be my friend? And it was so precious. Sometimes we just have to go back to our elementary school days and guess what? If they say no, there's another girl, there's another friend coming around the corner.
• 35:50
  The Lord will have the right people in your life. If you seek them, if you're just have your eyes open, Lord, open my eyes. Who's in my life already that knows me and actually has been walking with me that I didn't see, I didn't know that they would be possibly the right person for this specific relationship or time or this level of friendship. Don't get me started on the tears of friendship right now, but I would go off. But yeah, just be prayerful about what that looks like around you.
• 36:13
  And yeah, we can pray for open eyes to who is already in our life. Because sometimes it can feel daunting too. Like, oh my gosh, I feel that with moving somewhere new and meeting new people. I'm like, God, I have to be reknown again. I have to tell my story again.
• 36:27
  Like, oh my gosh. Especially if your story is painful, you know, it's not the best thing. But it's also been nice because I'm like, if people don't wanna know X, Y, or Z parts of my story, I don't have to... I can share what I want to share. They can know what I want them to know.
• 36:39
  But there are people who've walked alongside you that you might not have had eyes for because it can feel so daunting to be like, I have to restart. They have to know me well and then be able to call me up. Like you can't just call someone up. Like you don't have credibility in someone's life necessarily right off the bat to be like, I think you struggle with this sin. How's that going for you?
• 36:53
  A little scary. But if someone has known me, watch me walk, my sister comes to me and says that that's very different than someone I met yesterday. So all that to say, are you running towards Jesus? Am I running towards Jesus today? Every single day we must re ask and we must re re pursue and redirect.
• 37:13
  And Lord, I pray I'm not forgetting anything that you maybe wanted to say on this topic today, but I am just, am also a runner. So maybe there's something to this like running thing that I just love. But it is a pursuit. It is an all out, chase and seeking. And if we're not running towards Him, if we're not being formed into what He wants us to be as we walk towards Him, like we are being formed by something.
• 37:37
  And that is talked about a lot in the Christian culture. And I'm really grateful because it's very true. And it's something to be very aware of. So let's be intentionally formed as we run towards Jesus and seek the fruit of His spirit. We seek to see His goodness on earth, in our lives and the lives around us and believe for it.
• 37:55
  So this has been a crazy, what feels like long episode, but we're gonna roll with that anyway. And may we seek peace and pursue it as scripture tells us to, as we just seek the Lord. So I could keep talking, but I think I won't. I hope you have a blessed day that the Lord blesses you and keeps you and just continues the conversation with you over these things if He's met you at all. And which I believe He has because He is that kind.
• 38:23
  So whatever is stirring in your heart based on this, I pray that He just continues to meet you, guide you, bless you. His word, He in prayer and He speaks to us. His word is the lamp unto our feet and the light into our path. So seek it, look into it. Friendships are super important.
• 38:41
  Look to the Proverbs. I mean, it's very simple wisdom, but, and it's It's not a- necessarily a prescription of what will for sure happen, but it is important and it points us to what is practical wisdom, simple wisdom of should I be surrounding myself with people that act this way or talk this way or is that unfruitful? And it's not a judgment on them, but it is just like, is helping me run towards Jesus today? And running towards Jesus looks like being friends with all types of people. It is not a only be in a Christian bubble moment.
• 39:13
  No, we are called to love the world at large. So let us do that. Let us love, serve, care, give of our time and resources, all the things. But may we be people that are marked by running towards Jesus every single day. Let us resurrender.