Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / Rediscovering YOU After Empty Nesting

Transcript

Rediscovering YOU After Empty Nesting · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is there a major life transition benching you?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I know you may be asking what's next?
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: What's my purpose?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Because I've asked those too.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: You're listening to episode 33.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Can you believe?
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Summer is here.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: We've already reached 90 degrees here in May.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Our big prayer is that we do not have as hot a summer as we had last year.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: It was miserable.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Last week I touched on what it was like as a newly divorced woman and an empty nester all at the same time, how difficult it was and how I had to face it, name it and then walk through it.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Today I want to talk about what it looks like on the other side of loneliness and give you some tips and ideas that work for me and for my clients.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: What we do know is that we're made for community because it is normal to walk through periods of loneliness.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: We tend to struggle when it arrives on our doorstep, but once you experience divorce or empty nesting or retirement, you always are wondering what is next.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: There are many thoughts, emotions and fears attached to this period of loneliness.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: But first let's discuss some ways to combat that loneliness.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I will follow this list with some ideas to help answer your what's next questions.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, here we go.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Number one find a community.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Think of ideas and hobbies you have wanted to start or rekindle.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Then find some local groups to join.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: One of the biggest things I did was serve in the young adult community at our church.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: It was life-giving and I started a small group which began to ease some of that loneliness a bit.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: It was the biggest decision I made and also I joined Facebook groups for hiking and for camping.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Number two volunteer.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: This is self-explanatory, but find some ways to serve that you find you have a heart for.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Serve in your local homeless shelter, feed the homeless or mentor an aged out, foster, care young adult.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Number three get outside, go for a walk.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Find a place to eat lunch outside, pick up some outdoor hobbies.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I begin to camp and go hiking.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: It's one of my favorite ways to clear my mind from all the clutter and it eases the loneliness a bit and it eases the anxiety.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Number four find a hobby Paint, read, write a book or do some kind of craft.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Find a hobby Paint, read, write a book or do some kind of craft.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: It is an amazing thing because you might learn a new skill or renew a love of a long lost hobby.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Maybe you grew up crocheting or knitting or making ceramics.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: It will keep you busy and you will be grateful for it.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: It will build community in your life as you meet the people in whatever hobby you choose to take on.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Number five above all else, take care of your emotional, mental and physical health.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: It is so important to find the tools, books, therapists, etc.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: To care for yourself.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Now that we have covered that, let's discuss your what next questions.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: First, let me say this Anything is possible.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: The sky's the limit.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Your lens will change as you see and experience a freedom you haven't had since before.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Kids.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Do you want to build a tiny home community for aging out foster system kids Maybe you want to start selling jewelry or makeup?
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Maybe you've had thoughts of writing a book?
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Then join a book writers club.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Maybe you want to better your golf game?
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: So play golf.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Take some lessons, learn to play pickleball.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you it's addicting, but here's what I know to be true.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: There are countless options.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: These are measurable and achievable.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Because setting goals is so important.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Your goals and dreams are not mine.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I want to share this.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: The world needs you, your ideas, your passions and your abilities.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: What are you going to do with them, now that you're an empty nester?
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Maybe you find yourself stuck alone and with no clue how to take the next step.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: It is worth finding a life coach who can draw out of you the things you've long forgotten.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: In the bio of the podcast is a link to my calendar.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Just click on it and let's schedule a discovery call.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Empty nesting is one of the biggest transitions we go through as adults.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: You are amazing and I believe that you have the prime opportunity to make a difference in this world by doing the thing you were meant to do in the second half of life.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I want to say this getting rid of the loneliness is not an easy task.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: It takes time.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: You have to figure you out.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: You have to take the moments of your day to listen to what you sound like.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: What is it that your body's telling you?
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: What is your brain telling you?
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: What are your thoughts telling you right now?
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Because, let me tell you, the second half of life is one of the most fulfilling times that you'll ever have, both for you personally and for the people that you choose to serve.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: So don't sit there too long.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: I read these two books recently about empty nesting only because, well, they weren't available when I first became an empty nester, but I have found them to be a huge difference maker, even now, 10 years later.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: The first one is Finding Joy in the Empty Nest by Jim Burns, and I'll be sure to put a link in the show notes for you.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: It helps you re-engage in every area of your life to figure out what's next.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: And the second book is is called Empty Nest Awakening by Ruthie Gray.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: I'll also put the link to that in the show notes.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: And what I love about this book is the fact that it tells you and gives you the options and steps to finding what your encore career is kind of in that sense.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: But it gives you some suggestions on what to do and how to do it.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: It's a fabulous read.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I highly recommend it.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: There's so much possibility in this season of life.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I want to come alongside you to show you those possibilities.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: You're not stuck and you certainly aren't alone.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: I'm here, growing and learning along with you.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I hope you join me next time as I discuss retirement and the exciting things headed your way.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I have a favor to ask If you've gotten anything from this podcast, if the topics are close to home for you or if you have a friend that needs to hear it, would you be willing to write a review?
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: I would be so grateful.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: We all know someone who is walking through some sort of transition, especially now as graduations loom ahead and empty nesters will walk out of those ceremonies excited for their child and terrified of what's next.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Share this with them.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Share some hope.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next week.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.