Latest / Whys & Finds / Gift From Grandparents to a Toddler: What to Know
Transcript
- Ben: You're a grandparent. You scroll through toddler gifts. Every picture looks great, and every box says the right age. And the last gift you sent went straight into a closet. Ellie: Welcome to Whys & Finds. I'm Ellie. Ben: And I'm Ben. Ellie: Today: what should grandparents know when picking a gift for a toddler? Ellie: What the child does every day right now. Not just the age on the box, and not just the picture. Find out what they do and what they love this month. Then pick something that fits into that day. Ben: So the answer is: ask. Ellie: Ask the right question. And then believe the answer, even when the picture says something else. Ellie: The usual way this goes wrong has a name: buying blind. You choose from a photo and an age, and you hope it lands. Ben: To be fair to grandparents, a lot of gift guides sort by age only. Age two, here are ten gifts. Ellie: And here's why that's thin. The CDC, the U.S. public health agency, has milestone lists for each age. Even those lists are careful. The CDC says: "Developmental milestones are things most children (75% or more) can do by a certain age." Ben: Most. Not all. Ellie: Right. An age tells you about a lot of two-year-olds. It doesn't tell you about this one. Is the child tall for their age? Into trucks or into tea parties? The box can't know. Ben: So the age on the box is useless? Ellie: No. It's a start. It just can't tell you who this child is. Ellie: We read our Amazon reviews. More than 3,000 of them, for the Naturally KIDS backpacks. Hundreds were written by grandparents. Ben: And how do you know a gift landed, if you're not there? Ellie: Usually, the parents tell you. One review says: "She takes it everywhere she goes!!! This was a gift for her 2 year birthday and according to her mom, a perfect one!" Ben: "According to her mom." So the parents are the report card. Ellie: The parents are the eyes. Before the gift, they know what the child loves this month. After it, they see whether it gets used. Ben: So you talk to them before you order, not only after. Ellie: Right. They know one thing no photo shows: who this child is right now. That's the opposite of buying blind. Ben: Okay. Then what do I actually ask them? Ellie: Here the CDC's lists help in a different way. Read them as a picture of an ordinary day at that age. By 2 years, one item is: "Plays with more than one toy at the same time, like putting toy food on a toy plate." Ben: So, little scenes. Two toys that go together. Ellie: Right. And by 3 years: "Puts on some clothes by himself, like loose pants or a jacket." Ben: Doing it themselves. Ellie: That's the age. And both pages have the same question for parents, in the part about what to share with the child's doctor: "What are some things your child likes to do?" Ben: That list is for the doctor's office, though. Ellie: It is. I'm borrowing the question, not the checklist. Ask the parents that. Then ask what the child does every single day. Packs a bag? Feeds a stuffed dog? Carries toys from room to room? Ben: Here's where I push back. You keep reading milestones. A grandparent hears that, and starts checking. Can the child put on a jacket yet? Is that late? That's not their job. And it's not the conversation the parents want at the door. Ellie: That's fair. Ben: The parents see the child every day. So leave the lists to the parents and the doctor. A grandparent asks two plain questions. What do they like to do? What do they do every day? Ellie: You're right. That's better than what I said. For a grandparent, the two questions are enough. The lists stay with the parents. Ben: I'll take that. Ellie: You earned it. Ellie: So say the parents answer. The child stuffs toys into any bag they find. Takes a favorite animal everywhere. Wants to carry their own snack, like the big kids. Ben: Then the gift is something to carry. Ellie: That's how I'd read it. One practical option: Naturally KIDS makes small backpacks with a removable plush animal on the front. The child can take it out for a hug and put it back. Room for a snack and a treasure. There's a T-Rex, a triceratops, a unicorn, a dog, a giraffe and more. It arrives gift-ready in a kraft box. Ben: And which size? Ellie: The small one is 10 by 8 by 3 inches. There's also a medium, a bigger size. Ask the parents which one fits. Ben: Okay. The small one, or the medium for a taller kid. And you ask first. Ellie: Now, a few different situations. If two grandkids of different ages share a room, one gift for the room can work. The same brand makes animal-shaped lamps: a unicorn, a dinosaur, a fox, an elephant and others. Warm light and cozy room decor. A grown-up switches it on at bedtime, and it stands on a dresser or a shelf with an outlet close by. Ben: So the gift is for the room, and the parents run it. Ellie: Right. And it comes in a box ready to give. Ben: What if the child isn't into animals at all? Just builds things all day. Ellie: Then follow the building. The CDC's tips for two-year-olds include this one: "Encourage your child to play with blocks." A set of blocks you build with at the next visit fits that day. Ben: And if they already have a backpack they love? Ellie: Then they don't need a second bag. Ask the parents what they carry in it, and pick something that goes inside. A small plush friend, a snack box, a little treasure. Ben: Okay, let me see if I've got it. One: buying blind means picking from a photo and an age. The CDC says milestones are things most children, 75% or more, can do by a certain age. Most, not all. Two: the parents are the eyes, before the gift and after it. In one of our reviews, the gift was a perfect one, according to her mom. Three, my point: leave the milestone lists to the parents. Ask two questions. What does the child like to do, and what do they do every day? And four: pick the gift that fits into that day. Ellie: You've got it. Ellie: That's it for today. A reminder: the voices in this episode are AI-generated. Whys & Finds is made by Naturally KIDS. Ellie: That's today's why. See you at the next find.