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Obituaries · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mamas. Dear mamas, I've
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: noticed people don't do obituaries anymore. Why not, Well, let's
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: ask our American mama's.
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  Speaker 2: Mama, mama, she said, And.
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  Speaker 1: Joining us now are American mama's Terry Edville and Kimberly Burlesson.
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  Speaker 1: You know, obituaries used to be one of the biggest
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  Speaker 1: ways that newspapers made money. They made money off of obituaries,
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  Speaker 1: they made money off of classified ads. When the Internet
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  Speaker 1: came around, that kind of that that income stream kind
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  Speaker 1: of went away. People stopped paying for obituations, and they
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  Speaker 1: stopped paying for classified ads. They'd go on Craigslist or
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  Speaker 1: something else like that. But I don't know if there's
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: been an online version of obituaries, like there was an
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  Speaker 1: online version of the classified ads with Craigslist and kneebay
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  Speaker 1: and things like that. Am I missing something?
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  Speaker 3: No, I'm noticing it too. We saw this woman, she
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  Speaker 3: had this TikTok and she talked about going to a
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  Speaker 3: funeral and she talked about how this family no longer
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  Speaker 3: they didn't put an obituary, they didn't have a funeral,
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  Speaker 3: And she's like, what is this, what is this the
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  Speaker 3: new thing. I think it's the cost. Obituaries are expensive
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  Speaker 3: to put in the paper, right, it's free to put
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  Speaker 3: it online, yes, and it's also forever. That's true, and
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  Speaker 3: I think that's part of it. In funerals, there is
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  Speaker 3: a cost. I know that when my father died, we
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  Speaker 3: had a big gathering at a restaurant after because it
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  Speaker 3: was a huge funeral. We spent thousands of dollars feeding everybody,
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  Speaker 3: which we didn't have to, but it was a cost
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  Speaker 3: because we felt like we needed to. People came in
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  Speaker 3: from all over the country, so we had so I
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  Speaker 3: think a lot of people feel like there's just so
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  Speaker 3: much cost involve the funerals that they would rute. And
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  Speaker 3: I know some people just don't want that and they ask,
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  Speaker 3: don't have a memorial service for me, just have me
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  Speaker 3: cremated and do your own little thing. But I feel
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  Speaker 3: like there is this kind of thing that's missing. There's
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  Speaker 3: like a final thing that you go through to pay
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  Speaker 3: your respects that you need that to kind of well.
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  Speaker 4: I just think, hereous, you're goodbye, you're honoring the memory
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  Speaker 4: of somebody, honoring in you know, you're right. The obituary
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  Speaker 4: we did our father in law, I didn't realize it
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  Speaker 4: was that much. It's expensive to put it in the paper.
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  Speaker 4: And you have the second thought of no one gets
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  Speaker 4: the paper anymore. You know, everyone gets their news online.
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: Most everyone gets their news online. And but this lady
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  Speaker 4: that was she said, Look, my my father's I mean,
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  Speaker 4: my husband's side is very fractured. She said. But this
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  Speaker 4: man that was in their family, he died no obituary,
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  Speaker 4: and he was married for fifty something years to the
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  Speaker 4: same woman. He had children and grandchildren, He had a life.
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  Speaker 4: So to not I mean, they're not going to have
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  Speaker 4: the funeral. Maybe it is the cost, but to not
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  Speaker 4: put something on social media if that's your loved one
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  Speaker 4: in obituary form, like you said, it's free. And that's
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  Speaker 4: how I find out really when when people are losing
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  Speaker 4: their parents or a loved one, they post the obituary
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  Speaker 4: on Facebook, on.
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  Speaker 3: Social media social media than others.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you know Osborne Funeral Homes. A lot of
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  Speaker 4: these funeral homes have this site where people can go on,
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  Speaker 4: you know, they give the obituary and then there's a
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  Speaker 4: place for people to log on and say something about
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  Speaker 4: that loved one, and then you can get it in
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  Speaker 4: book form. So there's other ways that you can do that,
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  Speaker 4: but the idea of simply not doing an obituary. In fact,
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  Speaker 4: I will say Kevin, I said, Kevin, will you do
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  Speaker 4: my eulogy? Will you you know? If I die?
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  Speaker 3: He was like, Terry, you have had Terry literally has
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  Speaker 3: had five people ask her to do their eulogies when
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  Speaker 3: they die.
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  Speaker 1: Well, she did an amazing job at your mother's funeral.
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  Speaker 3: You did an amazing job. That's the problem, that's the thing.
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  Speaker 3: She's so, she's done a lot of successful funerals, and
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  Speaker 3: people want successful funerals, as my grandmother would say, and
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  Speaker 3: she would do a great job, but people aren't doing funerals.
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  Speaker 3: She and I just went to a funeral last week.
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  Speaker 3: And one thing that draws you crazy is when my
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  Speaker 3: husband and says I hate funerals. I'm like, who likes funerals?
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  Speaker 2: You know?
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  Speaker 3: That's when you show up and you show somebody how
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  Speaker 3: you care about them. Easy to go to weddings and
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  Speaker 3: have a good time, but showing up at a funeral.
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  Speaker 5: Well, and and this is a philosophy I have, is
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  Speaker 5: that funerals are not for the dead.
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  Speaker 3: Funerals are for the absolutely the dead. They're fine they're great.
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  Speaker 1: You know they're they're good.
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  Speaker 5: They don't hurt anymore.
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  Speaker 3: You at our mother's funeral, that's six hour drive, like
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  Speaker 3: we that.
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  Speaker 4: Was that day. If I if I cannot miss, I'm
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  Speaker 4: not going to miss a funeral or a wedding. I
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  Speaker 4: realize how important it is. But what I was saying
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  Speaker 4: earlier is I told Kevin. I was like, I'm gonna write.
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  Speaker 4: I'm gonna do a video eulogy for myself because I
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  Speaker 4: know You're not gonna write it. I'm gonna have the
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  Speaker 4: fan blow in my hair. I'm gonna talk to all
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  Speaker 4: the castle women are going to be at his beck
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  Speaker 4: and call the next week, trying to feed him, to
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  Speaker 4: get to get to find his love. And he said,
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  Speaker 4: he goes Terry I. He said, to write a eulogy,
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: or to even give a eulogy, is one of the
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  Speaker 4: strongest things you can ease it. I don't think I'd
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  Speaker 4: be able to give it out. But what people don't
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  Speaker 4: understand is you don't have to get up there and
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  Speaker 4: give the eulogy. You can write it. So this woman
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  Speaker 4: that was complaining, all she had to do herself was
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  Speaker 4: write something about that loved one. Put it out there.
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  Speaker 4: You don't need permission from anybody.
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  Speaker 5: And again with social media, you don't necessarily have to
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  Speaker 5: pay for an obituary. You can post it and your
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  Speaker 5: friends will share when they care about it. So well,
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  Speaker 5: if you'd like to ask our American mamas.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: A question, it's very easy to do. All I got
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: to just go online to American Grow Radio dot com,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: slash mamas and click on the ask the Mama's but
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  Speaker 1: Terry Needevillekiberly Brothersten, Thank you so much, Thank you,