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Disintegration: Why Your Next Breakthrough Is Something You Remove, with Ben Albert · BECOME Empowered

• Sabine Kvenberg: Hello Ben, I'm so excited to have you here today. Ben Albert: Sabina, let's have some fun. I'm excited to be here. Sabine Kvenberg: Yes. Well, I was on your podcast. We had a wonderful conversation, but we met during an event where we both were speakers, and we hit it off. And of course, now we are here having even more fun. Ben Albert: Mm. Sabine Kvenberg: So I would love to talk with you about many different things. Our audience here loves stories, but also How we can get through some challenging situations. So I want to start with both of them from the get Ben Albert: Mm. Sabine Kvenberg: go. Because you have had a very challenging situation. Like so many during COVID, you were laid off and you found yourself all of a sudden without a job. So take us back to that time. happened to you and what happened then? Ben Albert: Yeah. I mean, imagine you're you're f born and raised Rochester, New York, but you're in your hometown city and you're working in the building that's in like every photo of the city. It's the Chase Tower, it's recognizable, it's beautiful. You're on like the fifteenth floor, you're showing up suit and tie. but realistically I was kind of miserable, like just to dive right in, like I was self-prescribing medication for Monday morning meetings because I was having trouble getting through the week. And I was in this transitionary phase where I was pretending like everything was going great, but I was struggling and I didn't really know if it was a good fit for me. And it was it was a rough time in my life. And then the pandemic hits, which ends up being sort of a blessing in disguise. I didn't see it coming. but we are doing video production all across the United States. so a lot of travel, not me personally, but a lot of team traveling, a lot of in-person video production. and there wasn't any travel, there wasn't any in-person, there wasn't any fulfillment, there was chargebacks, there was uncertainty. It was a mess in the video marketing industry. So Ben gets let go. And Yeah, like I had it all. Like I was working at the top story. I was in the beautiful building. I was dressed nice and then I was broke, unemployed, non essential. I had a music podcast and I was a music promoter for fun. I had started the music thing in twenty sixteen ultimately because I wanted to get into places for free. And I was a huge fan of local art and music. And I was doing this on the side, but even Music Ben became nonessential because there's no music and in person and events for the pandemic. So that is where, wow, you kind of have to pinch yourself that this was over five years ago because Sabine Kvenberg: Yeah. Ben Albert: that was the end of a chapter in my life. And like it was the start of my entrepreneurship journey. It was start of a big start of my self discovery journey. And I learned a lot. And I wouldn't have told you I was miserable before I got furloughed. I was just doing the best I can. And I thought that I was doing what I was supposed to do and I was I was building something bigger for myself. But once that pandemic hit, everything seemed to change. Sabine Kvenberg: But you know, the thing is, as you mentioned, it seems like a blessing in disguise because you were already in that situation, like I I I I it doesn't it's not the right fit. And even though everything from the outside looked good, but you were miserable from the inside. And I truly, truly believe when we have those kind of energy. And situations that we get we get signs from the outside. Obviously, this was a big sign. And as you mentioned, blessings in disguise. So now you are jobless, and even the thing that you enjoyed doing, your music production was also stalled. How did it make you feel? And you mentioned you it's the start of your entrepreneurial journey, but it's not was it like, okay, now I'm starting my own business, or did you go through a transition period? So take us back to that moment in time. Ben Albert: Yeah, I mean, I was lost. How did it feel? Really scary. my my father had passed away, you know, five years, five four and a half to five years prior, and my mom was starting to get sick and I was just binge drinking. Like I was unemployed, accepting unemployment and stimulus check, which eventually I started to I I used my stimulus for the LLC and this and that, but when I first started, I was just like Completely lost. And it's really funny because I was running like in the right direction with taking hikes and getting out in nature more than I ever had in my life. I suddenly had all this space. And I remember day one, like I was afraid that if I touched a bench, I would somehow get sick and then make my whole family sick and everyone would pass away. But then I started to realize that nature was probably the safest place for me mentally and potentially physically. So I just started hiking all the time, but it's kind of like when you're moving in the right direction, but you're wearing weights or you're lost because I was binge drinking and I my relationships were struggling and I lacked focus. So it was a mess. Like a lot of people see the clickbait that I was able to start my business and replace my sales executive income in just about a year. But the first three to four months, Ben was a lost was a lost soul. and I think that's okay. Like it's easy to feel shame Sabine Kvenberg: Mm. Ben Albert: or regret for it, but I was in a transitionary phase where I was shedding and shedding and shedding before I could rebuild again. Sabine Kvenberg: I love what you just said. That chedding and chatting that is so visual before you can rebuild. And that reminds me when when kids are playing, especially little toddlers, they they build something and then they destroy everything and then they build something new. And it is such a great metaphor because that's what we have to do in life too. when I I moved To the States, I had to let go of everything in Germany. I had to sell everything. And I did it Ben Albert: Mm. Sabine Kvenberg: again in the States as well. But yeah, that is okay because that prepares us to for the next step. And sometimes it's okay to just take the time. Now, when did you notice that I cannot do this binge drinking and what I've been doing? some of the more destructive things and it then moved fully into your new say adventure, no venture, maybe it was an adventure as well. Ben Albert: Yeah, I've I've been falling in love with the concept of disintegration. A lot of people speak of integration. And this is something I had done in twenty fifteen. I read the book The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. And you guys don't have to read the book. I'll break it down simply for you. He breaks down a morning ritual that basically checks all the boxes. And the acronym is SAVERS, Silence or Meditation, Affirmations. Visualization, exercise, get the blood flowing. R is reading, educational, but to me, it doesn't have to be nonfiction. It becoming creative, something that gets the mind moving. And then the second S is scribing or writing or journaling. So I started this in 2015. The pandemic came in 2020. I had built a strong morning routine for myself. I had already gotten momentum in my career, in my life. I had started a put some of the pieces together, but I was integrated as heck. I didn't need to add more. A lot of people talk about how to add, add, add. You need a self-care ritual. You need this. You need that. You need more time. And it's like my time was I I was overwhelmed. What I needed to do at the time was actually disintegration and it was dissolving the bad stuff. And I didn't realize it because I would wake up with a great morning routine. And then I would end the day with bad decision making. So there was a couple times Sabine Kvenberg: Mm. Ben Albert: where I I remember one particular time, like I I woke up, I've got an empty bottle of Jim Bean whiskey. I go, I stumble up to my, you know, mirror to mu do my morning affirmations because it's almost like a nervous tick now that if I don't do my affirmations, the day's gonna be bad. And that's not true. You can forget your morning routine and still have a fantastic day. But I'm like, I got a tick that I gotta go do my affirmations. And I'm all like, you're good enough now and you're only getting better. You're an open channel of creative ideas. You act as if you already have what you want. And my left eye is twitching like a maniac because of the lack Sabine Kvenberg: Hmm. Ben Albert: of sleep and the drinking and the stress and the poor eating and the sadness. was causing my body to have a stress response where I was twitching and tired and all these things. And that's why I speak of disintegration. I had already optimized for what to do. But what I needed to learn is what I needed to get rid of. The way for me to come and step into my best self, for the cream to rise to the top, for things to go my way, I actually didn't have to do anything more. I was doing a lot of good stuff. But Sabina, I was doing a lot of things that was making the goodness muted and suppressed. And I simplify it, but I was like, I'm not gonna add anything more to my day. I'm not gonna add anything to my routine, but I'm gonna find things that I can remove. And then things started to change over time on their own. Sabine Kvenberg: I love it. Such a great perspective Get rid of the bad stuff. And Ben I can relate to it. Especially in stressful times. I have been there. I've done everything and I hustled and and worked. And then the evening came and then you're like I just need to relax. Have another glass of wine. And then before you know it's like, it's it's good. Well, let's have another glass, right? And then you wake up the next morning, say, I shouldn't have had that extra glass or the fifth glass, whatever it was, right? And this is so true. And I think many people can relate to that. And and it's not easy because you have a ritual with that as well. Ben Albert: Yes. Sabine Kvenberg: And you you are used to something and you connect that with relaxing or you connect that with, now I'm watching my favorite Netflix series or whatever it is, Ben Albert: Absolutely. Sabine Kvenberg: right? And then you make that connection. So what would be your recommendation or maybe how did you handle it to let go of something that was so ingrained in some sense? Ben Albert: Yeah, I mean it depends on the thing, but like just do fifteen minutes a day less of it is the easiest way. Or if it's something like you drink six beers on a Friday, drink five, spend fifteen minutes less drinking a beer, just cut down and then continue to cut down. In some cases, go cold turkey if you can, but stop doing the thing. If you're looking at suggestive sexual materials online. Maybe you make a decision that you aren't gonna go cold turkey, but you s 15 minutes less. Let's start there. Fifteen minutes more with someone who brings joy into your life. People are like, I'm I'm checked out, I'm busy, I just wanna scroll on my phone. You scroll on your phone fifteen minutes less, and then you're fifteen minutes less busy. Sabine Kvenberg: Yeah, I love that. Fifteen minutes Ben Albert: The time makes itself. But it was just Sabine Kvenberg: less. Ben Albert: yeah. And what's wild is Sabine Kvenberg: Mm. Ben Albert: 14.5 minutes or 1% of your day. So I think man, I ha I don't have the mem I don't have the numbers memorized right now. I think it's that there's one thousand four hundred and fifty minutes in a day. So if you take one percent of your day, it's fourteen point five minutes. So You're literally making a one percent difference. And the accumulative of that one percent difference is insane, but it's literally fourteen to fifteen minutes a day. And just imagine if you made a ten percent difference. Sabine Kvenberg: Yeah. I heard of that before. Ben Albert: Yeah. Yeah. Sabine Kvenberg: Like the the the one percent difference. I I Ben Albert: Mm-hmm. Sabine Kvenberg: just recently it also came to the surface saying if you can improve like marketing, for example, one percent more click throughs or one percent more email opening or one percent more whatever it is, it it it Elevates you just a little bit, but then you start from there that 1%, and before you know it, it's so much better. And it goes both ways. I love it. So Ben Albert: Mm-hmm. Sabine Kvenberg: now tell us about your entrepreneurial journey. So you were a sales person in your previous job. What was your idea? What did you want to to do differently in your job? Well, excuse Ben Albert: Mm. Sabine Kvenberg: me. In your new entrepreneurial journey. Ben Albert: Yeah, I mean I'm not gonna put anyone on blast. No one required no one put a gun to my head and said that I had to say or do dirting things. I take responsibility for my own choices. I was always the better of them, but I did some unethical things at prior workplaces. I feel like I would make promises that I knew I couldn't deliver because that's what I was taught to do and that's what paid the bills. And I always felt kind of icky about it. And I think part of my self-abuse came from the fact that I felt a little icky about some of the decisions I was making in the workplace. It wasn't the best of companies. So I learned a lot of what not to do. And I thought that maybe somehow this, you know, broken child who's just figuring things out could maybe be an entrepreneur. And I had done the music thing. I had made nominal amounts of money, getting to places for free, doing it for fun. But like we said, music ben's broke, unemployed, and nonessential. So I have to become entrepreneur, Ben. And business Ben, who's an entrepreneur, is like, okay, from Rochester, New York, but all my friends are like hippies in the music scene. It's not like I'm some business mogul. How do I get business connections? And on LinkedIn, a friend request is literally called a connection request. So I just came up with one day the podcast title, Rochester Business Connections. Why? Because I needed some. And what I learned, there's a lot of intuition in this, but what I learned is I was cross, I was checking a lot of boxes at once because by Talking to business owners in Rochester, New York. They were peers because I was starting a business, even though I was pretty new. You know, they were still a peer as a business owner. There is the proximity that we were from the same city. they were mentors, so I could learn something new and exciting. And I didn't know how to business. The best way to learn how to business is just to talk to successful professionals on the podcast. And I wasn't pitchy. However, The number four on this list is I they were potential clients. They could become clients of mine because they were better at business in like 99 categories, but I was in some cases, not being a snob, like some people are real good at what they do, but in some cases, I was just much better at marketing than them. So I'm learning as I build relationships, as I build a personal brand. As I make peer connections, as I do lead generation. And what would happen, just take I'm gonna step back for a second. The way I found guests was going on Lincoln and I went to State University, New York, Brockport. So I looked for other SUNY Brockport alumni and I reached out to people that went to the same university as me. So that was my in. Hey, I see you went to SUNY Brockport. Congrats on making it big time. Let's connect. If they connect, I'd say, I'm starting a Rochester business podcast to highlight local leaders. Thought you'd be a good fit. So everyone's saying yes. So I'm talking to the people that'll change my life for the better. And then after the interview, I would ask for recommendations or nominations because I would talk to a business leader. And then in best case scenario, I'd get 10 introductions on the back end. And suddenly Ben is the Rochester, New York business podcast mogul with all these connections. When you kind of feel like an imposter because I had just started, I didn't have it all figured out. But since I positioned myself as a value add, and this is beyond business, this is just in life, I was adding value to the community that mattered the most to me. And then they were. putting their chips on me, they were adding value to me, they were mentoring me in doing so, and everything built and grew from there. Sabine Kvenberg: I love it. It's almost like taking the best from all sides. What you Ben Albert: Mm. Sabine Kvenberg: knew, what you were already good at, but also very smart having the connections that teaches you and also gives you more connections. And through that we are building businesses. Now, what do you do today? With your marketing company, who do you serve? Ben Albert: Yeah, at the core d to simplify this, it's it's wealthy people with wealthy ideas, but a kind of crappy podcast. so we're s jumping ahead and there's multiple things I do. But as I was building my business, I was very much in the local scene and local marketing websites, SEO, graphic design, video production, so on and so forth. but all my conversations, all my connections. My own brand, my own thought leadership was being built through the podcast. And I had transitioned from a local show to an international show, which you were on, Real Business Connections. We'll make sure that there's a link where people can do the two parter and watch that when you're done with this conversation. But you were an amazing guest on that show. So eventually people kind of were slapping me upside the face metaphorically and being like Ben. You're selling like websites and SEO, but all your clients come through podcasting. Why don't you just do that for podcasters? So I've been behind the scenes building that end of the agency where we treat a podcast like a media business, like a business. We don't just, you know, do add some bells and whistles. We treat like a marketing plan, like I would with a business, but on a podcast, So there's my local firm. There's the podcast production, is the deep focus right now, the podcast production and marketing agency. And then I'm also a community leader. I am the facilitator. I did start it, but it's really about the collective impact of the entrepreneurs in the group. I have a community called Grow Gitters Only at WeallGrowTogether.com. We all grow together. There's so much in that URL because it is about that collective impact. So what's Ben doing, podcaster, behind the scenes for other podcasters, doing local marketing and web design and running the community. But to simplify it, it's just about getting the knowledge, the wisdom, the ideas, the solutions from the people who have it to the people that are looking for it. And I'm in a humble position where I get to bridge that gap in everything that I do. Sabine Kvenberg: that is beautifully said. And what I also like about what you just shared is the very organic way how you grew your business. And Ben Albert: Mm-hmm. Sabine Kvenberg: sometimes people forget that. They think, I have to build a business. It has to be like poof. And here I have to make a six-figure income tomorrow. But it is built on relationships and experiences and time too. Now, if somebody is a podcaster and they started the podcast for fun or they started the podcast to to embellish their business or get business through Ben Albert: Mm-hmm. Sabine Kvenberg: the podcast. So how do you help a podcaster? What Give give us an example. So if somebody's listening who has a podcast right now said, hmm, well, I really don't make money from the podcast, but I would like to. We heard Ben Albert: Mm-hmm. Sabine Kvenberg: if we hear this all the time. So tell us, give us an example how you could help them. Ben Albert: Yeah, so huge question. 'cause Sabine Kvenberg: Ha ha. Ben Albert: there's lots of ways to make money, but podcasting isn't the best way to make money unless you have other products and services and solutions that you can tie to the podcast. so it would be really important to understand why they're podcasting, what other products, service solutions they have. I would definitely want to tailor the approach. Something for podcasters and for honestly, it's like just as a human being, I'm happy I did it. one thing I do behind the scenes for all my clients, it's not even a product yet. And again, I do it with my clients, but I think we all should do it, is put together a brand Bible. And it's part of that self discovery phase because it's hard to monetize and scale something unless you understand the core, like what are you one of one? What are you a category of one the best at? How do you differentiate yourself? And then we can infuse that into the podcast, but also infuse it into your brand and your services and how you show up. But you don't want to do what Ben did in the earlier end of his career. Build a house of cards where you're pretending to be someone you're not. So what's most important is that what you're building is in alignment with who you truly are. So an example of that would be a great friend and client of mine, Yvonne Verity. So she's already a rock star. She didn't need me. She's done a beautiful things without me. She kicks butt. She co-founded Clean Eats. And the to simplify, it's like a health food cafe that also does meal delivery. And they franchise out the model and have over a hundred franchise locations across the states. So they're doing great. They also have a farm where they do weddings, this and that. but her as a personal brand, as a speaker, she just did her Ted first TED X. She was just on the cover of her local magazine, Wilma magazine in Wilmington, North Carolina. That end of her hadn't came out yet. She was kind of the business lady behind the scenes and she was using the podcast. To build that personal brand where she can get the TEDx gigs and be on the cover of magazines and eventually do consulting or eventually step out of the business and let other people run basically run the business end of things. so long story, let's get to the the the core point here. Rebel Roots was the podcast, Sabine Kvenberg: Yeah. Ben Albert: and Rebel Roots was speaking to it was men and women. But it was rock stars, people doing things differently, the people doing things the rebel way, entrepreneurs with great success stories. But as the producer and a friend, I was listening to the episodes, I was talking to her, and like almost every conversation was about motherhood. Most conversations were about this midlife change that we go through. And in many cases, like moms who were a mom and now they're an entrepreneur, or they were a mom and an entrepreneur and they went f to their full time gig and they so on and so forth. So working through this, we figured out that this isn't just a podcast for movers and shakers. There's a lot of those podcasts and the guests are movers and shakers. It's more a podcast for moms in their midlife walking into a new chapter wondering what's next. And there's a lot of different categories behind that. But once we understood that, the titling of the episodes changes. The description of the podcast changes. We SEO optimize for different words. She brings in different conversations that she was already having, but she's aware of who her listener is. And it becomes a product that's more where she can be a one of one. And there's a lot of little things we go through behind the scenes of like, What are your contrarian viewpoints? Because boring is boring. So how can we be contrarian in titles and bring in topics that might ruffle some feathers? And how what values do you have that are kind of opposite? For example, I'll just put myself on blast. I'm a minimalist, but I'm very driven. Or I'm very well connected, but I'm an introvert. I I you know and it when you find these contrarian things, Kiana Reeves is a great example, action movie star, Sabine Kvenberg: Mm. Ben Albert: but the kindest, most soft spoken person you know. So this is a whole conversation that you and I could probably go in for ten ten hours on, but if you understand Sabine Kvenberg: Yeah. Ben Albert: Who is your one of one as an audience? But your one of one is built on who you are personally. What are your contrarian viewpoints? Like what makes your opinion and voice unique? And then what are your your values, contradictory values, and how does that make you unique? And then when we understand this and many more things, we show up different as a speaker. We show up as our true self in conversations with families and friends and cli colleagues and clients. and then you asked about podcasting, we infuse that into the podcast to build a strategy to monetize around who you are and what your audience needs versus just something that you read on ChatGPT earlier today. Sabine Kvenberg: Hmm, I love it. Wow. Well, if someone wants to get a hold of you and maybe say, Hey, I want to learn more, maybe this is what I need. I I love what Ben just shared. How can they get in touch with you? Ben Albert: Yeah. I'd love for you to listen to the episode we did together on my podcast. So if you check out the notes below or you go look, Google Real Business Connections or search on whatever platform you're on right now. Real Business Connections my show. You can Google Real Business Connections or go to Real Business Connections dot com. I'm available. You'll catch links there. I'm on LinkedIn. I'm Instagram. I'm on all the places. But the three-step process, one, like, click a review if you can, five stars, whatever thumbs up you can give on the current platform you're on right now, do that here. because I wouldn't be here without our lovely host. When you're done with Sabine Kvenberg: Ha ha. Ben Albert: that, go find real business connections wherever you found this. And if you want brownie points, reach out, say hello. but leave some love here. Go find me. Brownie points, send me a DM or I mentioned weallgrow together dot com. If you're an entrepreneur, that's a good place to check out. But if you're just any human that wants to chat, come say hi. Sabine Kvenberg: thank you so much, Ben, for the love that you got gave this podcast. And I can only return the love to you because your podcast is amazing. And I know our listeners will spread the love between our two podcasts together. but most of all, I am so thankful and grateful that we met and that we Ben Albert: Same. Sabine Kvenberg: also were able to spend some personal time together, when we met at the event and I know we will have some more beautiful time coming. So thank you so much for being here, Ben. Ben Albert: Things are having me was a ton of fun.