Latest / The Bridges and Beacons Podcast / Cultivating Calm, Peace, & Ease as a Leader with Nancy Stevens

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Cultivating Calm, Peace, & Ease as a Leader with Nancy Stevens · The Bridges and Beacons Podcast

• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Bridges and Beacons podcast.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Kelly Meyerson, and I am delighted today to have my friend Nancy Stevens with me.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, Nancy.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm delighted to be here.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: We we cheated and we had a great conversation before we started recording, which, if you've been listening to the podcast, you know that that is pretty much how I roll these days.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: I am very interested in understanding how people are functioning these days, looking at human design, looking at direction, looking at how we're capitalizing on the energy that is present right now in the world and moving forward in ways that continue to serve humanity to help raise each other up.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna get really excited about this because Nancy is a true wisdom keeper.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just gonna tell you a little bit about her before we get started by reading her bio.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Nancy Stevens is a certified personal leadership coach focused on emotional well-being and inner authority.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: She works with accomplished professionals to help them reconnect with themselves, strengthen self-trust, and navigate demanding seasons with greater clarity and calm, supporting leadership that feels grounded, authentic, and sustainable.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, Nancy, that feels like a warm, cozy blanket right now.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean, we've got so much going on in our world today.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: All kinda every twist and turn, there's something external, you know, asking for our attention to provide energy or whatever.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: And what is missing oftentimes is that ability to sustain ourselves, to regulate, calm, and be present in the room, quote, with ourselves.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: So we can make good choices, so we can know what we need.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is, I think that's pretty much at the center and heart of how I work with myself and how I work with others.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's me being external and internal, external at the same time.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, that's like 100% speaking to your human design.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: So you are a three-five self-projected projector.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And for people who are not as familiar with human design, someone who is a projector does not have sacral definition.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so they tend to have centers that are that are defined on that can be a little more contemplative.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can have some definition like Nancy in your throat and your identity center.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: But I find one of the things I love about projectors is because of the way they manage their energy when it's done resourcefully, they have figured out a lot of the life cheat codes and they have a lot of wisdom about energy management.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And Nancy, you're definitely one of those people for me.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like when I get into your space, I feel calm, centered, focused, motivated, but very grounded.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that speaks a lot to your human design and also the way that you've learned to use your design resourcefully.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I know Nancy really well, folks.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I know a lot of her background story.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: We did the business accelerator with Camille Miller back in fall of 2024.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: So we've spent a lot of wonderful time learning a lot about each other.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so I know in your life history, in your family history, you have had some times where you were not managing your energy well, you were way overextended.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: How did you come to the point where you realized this is not right for me?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And and maybe if you could help the listener, the viewer understand where you recognize that in yourself and how you took the first steps to get into more alignment with yourself.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, yeah, that's a that can have we can spend the rest of the show on that.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, I was at a point in my life where I had two very active, the last of our four sons, or two sons are teenagers.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: So they were very, very busy with school work, just being teenagers, lots of energy.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I was working to, you know, for lack of a better word, manage them to, you know, keep up with them, manage them, know what was going on, was with my husband's business.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: I had was working on my business, and I was also teaching fitness classes.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I had lots of irons in the fire, and I was not taking care of myself.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I thought that I was, because gee, you know, as a trained coach and a mind-body yoga teacher and whatnot, you know, of all people, wouldn't I know better what to do, especially I'm sharing these things to others?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: I got so busy in my head of thinking, okay, I need to complete this.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I don't want to forget that.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: This has to be done.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: What's next?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: What could go wrong?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my, I was trying to forecast what could possibly go wrong, what I needed to do.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: Then I was concerned about, you know, my parents.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't, I really wasn't, I wasn't taking care of myself.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I was going to bed tired.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then what began to happen is that exhaustion started to lead to insomnia.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: The insomnia, of course, for not able to think clearly because I'm not sleeping well.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: So then I was prone to, you know, being frustrated, angry, like over-exaggerating stuff.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: Then okay, we've got that going on.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Then I was my hair was losing hair.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, wow, I'm gonna end up no problem.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna end up buying a wig.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I I like the universe was like, okay, you we are giving we are dumping stuff on you.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: When are you going to stop?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so at a after a terrible bout of insomnia, I think I woke up at three in the, you know, we didn't even go to bed.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, I was up at three in the morning.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just do the worst thing possible.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: I grabbed my phone because I was like, I'm just laying here, I'm not gonna wake up.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I started scrolling and it came to me like exhaustion, burnout, fatigue, adrenal fatigue, and every everything that was listed on nervous system, you know, not being regulated, adrenal fatigue.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: I had hit all of that.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: So that began my journey of okay, what's going on?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then I knew that my I was not calm inward.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: I could be calm outward and I could take a yoga class or teach it and feel good in the moment.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: But I was, I guess for lack of a better word, I had a dysregulated nervous system, which causes you to constantly have a wave of maybe feeling okay, but then you're going back to that spinning or ruminating or over-emoting just out of it.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I started to bring in some meditation and really forced myself to be in nature.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: We live in a nice neighborhood where I could walk every day, and I had a mantra like calm, peace, ease.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like I desire to bring in and work on what it looks like to be calm, have peace and ease.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: I just instinctively knew that that was missing.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it was up to me, no matter what was going on, to develop and work on that internally and to know what that felt like.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: So that when I became out of being calm, at ease, peaceful, I could call that energy back in.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I had to work on really knowing like what is a sensation?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: How am I feeling, relating and being when I have calm, peace, and ease?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: What part of my body lights up?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: So that was a process of literally getting out of my head and neck and bring it in into my heart and solar plexus or belly.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I knew that once I was like, okay, this is what it feels like to have calm, peace, and ease.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in my center, I'm not in my head, I'm connected, I feel more relaxed.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: So then with that developed sense, I was able to, you know, then gradually I was able to sleep again.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was about almost two years of it really intense insomnia.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Then the hair, then the diet, so then the hair came back.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: But it was a two-year, a pretty strong two-year period of just being like, quote, out of it and disconnected.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: So today, you know, even when life gets really busy and I have a lot of moving parts, and that's all of us.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: I can't, I'm not going to avoid that.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: I know with the work I've done of what I need to do, what it looks like and feels like to have calm, peace and ease.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I can take breaks and work on bringing that in so I can step forward fully into my life and make informed decisions with discernment that complement uh and provide me with what I need when I'm working with my clients, making decisions for our household or have events coming up.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's really important.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's like a major foundational piece that long story short, that I now use day to day so I can enjoy my days.
• 11:15
  unknown: Yeah.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm totally geeking out because I love that.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: The the that you brought in that mantra.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And what I love about it is you didn't say I am calm, peace and ease, because you weren't feeling it at the time.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: You said I desire to to figure out the feeling of what it looks like to have calm, peace, and ease.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: So you invited that learning.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what does that look like?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And let me figure it out.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then, oh my goodness, you said to get out of your head and neck and into your heart and solar plexus, and that is literally your design.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: You have a defined head and ajna and a defined throat and G center, and then the rest is open.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you learned how to get embodied to feel centered and feel that, you know, that sense of grounding energy and not be so hyperactive in your mind and and your and your throat.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: So that to me is just like such a beautiful way of speaking.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: How without probably at the time knowing what human design was, you you you could feel that pulse of in alignment, you know, being in alignment, being out of alignment, and then figuring out, okay, this is a nervous system thing.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is where I need to do my work, and and I need to be my priority so that I can still do all of these things, you know, taking care of your children, your parents.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's such a typical experience for women to have, you know, at a point where our bodies just do not have the same natural get up and go because we're shifting into perimenopause, menopause, you know, our children are growing, our parents maybe aging and needing more from us.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that's such a universal experience in many ways for women.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that you kind of like peeked out and said, All right, what's around me?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: What can I capitalize on?
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: I know that the yoga is helping me, but it's not sustaining me.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's not enough to do a yoga class here and there.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you said, Okay, I have nature.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Nature makes me feel good.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you went towards that experience.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that, of course, is your three in human design, that experiential piece.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Let me try this and see if it works.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: I tried this, this failed, I tried this, this failed, and I keep trying.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: But then figuring out, you know, this works for me.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: And now you're at a point where you've really perfected so much of the way that you're living your design and not burning yourself out and creating a more sustainable life for yourself, that also is infused with joy and enjoying the work that you do by having the quality time with your family, not feeling that your family is a drain and a burden on your energy, but that it's it's joy-filled.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: So that's yeah, that's tremendous, Nancy.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's such a beautiful story.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it I mean, like they had I had the choice.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Do I want to constantly live a reactive life where I'm calm when things are calm and then just out of it when, you know, when something, somebody says something, or oh, well, you know, this happened.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: And like, do I want to live that type of life and constantly have my nervous system go in and out of regulation and just, you know, I call living in the fight or flight syndrome.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: No way.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: No, thank you.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that that doesn't serve any of us well.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, especially, when I get stuck in my head, I can't, you know, you're like, oh, well, use your head to re use reason and logic, and that's for the strategic planning.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, sometimes, yes, when your nervous system's calm, but being in your head about trying to forecast, oversee, you know, go move through objections, nothing good comes for me when I'm stuck in my head because I'm not at the present moment.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: I can't make an informed decision, and I'm disconnected from who I am at the core.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, when in my head, not good, you know.
• 15:51
  unknown: Yeah.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Same, Nancy, same.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it makes me laugh so much because I I have like you, my my head and ajana are not connected to my throat.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a defined throat, but my head and ajna are open.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't have any definition, no gates, completely open.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm so open-minded that I can get flooded with ideas, inspiration, worries, and get stuck up there as well.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it's unresourceful, but it doesn't ever get me anywhere.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can't land on certainty.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not meant to really feel a sense of certainty by design.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's when I have to, this is what I tell myself.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: You have to take whatever comes into my head, inspiration, thoughts, ideas, instead of like taking it straight to my throat and just speaking it aloud or taking action on it.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: I have to take it down into my heart and solar plexus.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I have to feel into it because I have emotional authority, which means, you know, experiencing things in the highs and the lows, and then in like a neutral state, making decisions, making choices, taking action, and not allowing that ruminating mind to dictate where I go with things, instead, really feeling into my body and not feeling the pace of everybody else, you know, and feeling, you know, like me, you have an open route.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of your sense of on and off and that pulse of timing.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: So when you don't have that, you know, either you have to figure out how to get there.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, like for you, yoga was a great start.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Going out into nature and and walking was a great start, and then figuring out how do I bring that calm energy.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: There is no fire that we're rushing to.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: That urgency is internally created or pulled in from external forces, but there really isn't any urgency.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: We're, you know, we're sort of preloaded to be ready for a crisis.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: We can think it, we can sun it, but but add a deficit to our bodies.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I I see so many parallels there.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I realize like what I learned is, you know, there is no pressure of time.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is a feeling I will feel, but I can notice it and I can say, actually, I feel more like what would be a resourceful use of my energy right now is to put my feet up.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: And just because I can do a lot of things and I do have a lot of energy, doesn't mean that those things are in alignment for me.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: And if I do things that are out of alignment for me, then they deplete my energy.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: They don't add energy.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: So then, you know, even just recently, you know, and that's what we were talking about before we started recording, even recently, just thinking like I need to recenter and come back.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I started making a list for myself of all the things I enjoy and the things I find fun and infusing more of that into my life.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that I think what I see in you that I admire so much is all of your moves and the things you do feel so graceful and intentional.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it's like there can be these people bopping all over the place, and you're just like walking this calm, straight path, and you know exactly who you are, you know, define G Center, exactly where you're going and what you're doing.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, you're aware of what other people are doing, but you're you're like, but this is my path, this is what I'm meant to do, and I'm gonna stay there.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so you don't have to do 10,000 things, you can do three, and it's enough and it's clear, and it's as impactful or sometimes more, because you've waited, you've you know, put your energy in the right place.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, like you were saying, you know, before we started recording, when you're working with your clients, you're able to see them, you're able to see what they need to do.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: And and you're not like, okay, we're gonna do a complete makeover.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, we're just gonna shift one, two, three, done.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then they're like, oh, okay, I I got this.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, I it it absolutely blows me over that you are so beautifully functioning in your human design.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the beauty of projectors, which I was saying to you before we started recording, is that because of the way that you manage your energy and because of how when you're in alignment, everything sort of clicks in, you are a wisdom keeper.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: So we want to invite our projectors to share with us because they're gonna give us the wisdom that really helps us make those tiny changes that have the biggest impact.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: Sort of like this is the domino you knock down first.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's that that's how I see it.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Does that resonate with you?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, exactly.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, like it explains I it explains why I love to not only coach, but I love to teach because I enjoy it, it just naturally comes out of me.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like I can see and sense into things that, you know, and that's the same goes for me, that others maybe can't see in the moment, and bring those to light by just tapping into my own lived experience, intuition, training, and use that as a a foundational piece to share with others so that they can have that information and make it their own to bring, yeah, to bring that out, to see what others can't see in the moment, you know.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: So that it definitely is a gift.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: And when, you know, our little talk before the podcast was it was like, okay, that explains it.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because one of the words in my life, as I shared, is when I am teaching classes or when I'm doing coaching, and my make my response is tap into the wisdom of your body.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like get out of your own way of all the overanalyzing, analysis pernout.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: Paralysis, trying to think that you need to have a detailed step and just pause.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what messaging are you getting in this moment that is going to help you in the next moment?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's always there.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: We all have the wisdom.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: But how we are, how we're wired, our lived experiences, you know, what we've think we've placed priority on clouds the wisdom or covers it up.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: But it's always been there.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean that I'm saying that because that was a truth I had to learn and continue to learn.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it made me find looking, I'm going to ask somebody for advice or help, you know, and great.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: And they're going to share it with me.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I do love to receive advice.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: But I take that and I pro I pause and process.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Then I'm like, oh, okay, I I see that.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Great.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: What is what's within me that's a truth that is going to expand what they did?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then in that pause, everything that's needing to come to light for me comes up.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not just me, it's all of us.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: But that is I that is definitely a strong fill pillar and a foundation is listen to the wisdom that has always been within you.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's deep pillar that is here to help you befriend you and inform you of your next best step, thought, word, action.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's I I feel like you just coached us all right there, Nancy.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: You just gave us a really good taste of what you do.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, tap into the wisdom of your body, like stop for a minute.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that also speaks to how much you've learned about yourself and your nervous system and the importance of getting into your body and not getting stuck in your head.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: And and the messages from your body, being embodied, the wisdom that already exists there.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think the really cool and exciting part about that is that you're not actually telling them anything.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're just showing them where to find it in themselves.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: So that to me feels like self-empowerment, that embodiment and self-empowerment.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're teaching people where to find that internal guidance that's already there, that just is dormant, or it's quieter, you know, than maybe the noise that we have in our heads or the noise that's external that we allow into our bodies and our nervous systems.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: And if you think about it, what's coming up is, you know, some of the people I coach or meet too, you're like, oh, I have so much uncertainty right now.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't know what to do.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: I yeah, I've got, you know, I'm I'm wobbly, I'm feeling guilt or fear or shame or whatever.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's like, okay, that that is there.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: Go past those feelings.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: What is at the uncertainty?
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: What's what's with the you know, where's the fear coming from?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: Where's the uncertainty or the anxiety?
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: That is an invitation to pause, sit with it, and start to discern.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: Is it is it outside of my sphere of influence?
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to, you know, work at another angle that has something that doesn't to do with me?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: Is it something in me that I need to tap into a little deeper?
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like where could that fear be coming from?
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, is it is it old energy that no longer needs to be here that maybe once served me?
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: Is it somebody else's strong energy or opinion?
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: So again, using that wisdom to bring in how can I work through my feelings of anxiety or stress or you know, uncertainty or fear?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because often at the where those are, but really what the an the the gift or the antidote is your wisdom.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: Your wisdom will always give you the gift of releasing or definitely diffusing fear, uncertainty, doubt, trying to shoulder peep other people's emotions, which is a big one for women.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: We take on the invisible burden, right?
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: Thinking that it's our job to go in, even though our people are doing their job, to shoulder the invisible weight of carrying other people's emotions.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, kelder big time.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's a that's a big thing that I would say more women than men do in the working corporate world, you know, personal lives.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like we think that we've got to go in and shoulder our family's emotions, our our friends, our parents, our co-workers, if especially if you're in a leadership role.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: Or I mean, we're all have that, we all have that leadership capacity in the household.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: So what is at the root cause that will diffuse that is again bringing in that intention of calm, centeredness, clarity to tap into your wisdom.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that's gonna really diffuse a lot of that doubt, self-doubt, uncertainty, anxiety.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna write my I'm gonna write that down for myself.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we're recording, so we we could definitely come back and write that down for you.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, yeah.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: That is that's a big deal because that is, if you think about it, you know, at the heart of our work that we do, that's common things that we hear, you know, uncertainty, lack of clarity, overwhelm, heaviness, disconnection.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, it's not it's it's not that hard, but yet it can seem a miles apart when you're trying to make it through each and every day, check the boxes, make it through your work week, you know, show up informed, you know, present, you know, mindful and stirring the pot.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then that's when the yeah, the overwhelm and anxiety, uncertainty, doubt just comes in.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: So that's that's my that's been my biggest learning.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so I do definitely, like I said, I it's a non-negotiable for me most of the time.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, sometimes I just can't, but I do to reconnect and regroup, I do take a walk at the end of the day to kind of close the day off.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: And if I have the time, I'll take a morning walk or a midday, a quick little one.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: That that resets, that helps to reset and regulate my nervous system.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: But there's many other practices that you can do.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, breath work, you know, bringing in a an affirmation meditation or mantra, healthy eating, just knowing when to how to end your workday, knowing when to end versus pushing through and being on your laptop or tablet or messaging until 11 o'clock and then going to bed and wondering why you can't sleep.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: All the good stuff.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I am guilty of that sometimes, or lack of a better word.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I and I can tell when I'm pushing myself, I'm like, yeah, why are you doing this?
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this isn't gonna work, you know, trying to get that last little thing done to say that the day was complete, you know.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: So, and that all of that, all of that done over time, just constant, constant, constant, that's when you can end up with that big health con consequence.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, there's a lot.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much, there's so much to this, you know, that people struggling with with disease.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: It is ease, right?
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_01: It it at the root of it is going, going, going, not having the tools to know that we can tap into our wisdom or how to tap into it.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so then we find ourselves sick, mental, emotional, physical illnesses, or disconnected from ourselves, our families, co-workers, when it doesn't have to be that way.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: There's a it does not need to be that way.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's not what we were.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: We were meant to enjoy the short life we have on earth and to live fully.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody's born, you know, oh, you're gonna struggle and be faced with hardship and challenge and stress and da-da-da.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, really?
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody wants to sign up for that.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: This lies in giving yourself permission to care for yourself and and stand up and make make those shifts.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_01: And like I said, I'm not, I don't think I'll ever be there until I take my last breath.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: But as we talk today, and as I do come into these seasons of life where the unexpected happens or just get really busy, I'm like, oh, wait a minute.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is not the way I need to feel.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: This is not who I am.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay, I'm gonna pull out some tools that are gonna bring me back into myself so I can enjoy my life, make informed decisions, and be present in the ordinary averageness every day, not just in the big moments or, you know, in the quote, struggling or challenges.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: So it is truly really the foundation of life.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: I love that so much.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think so many people can relate to feeling the external and the internal stress right now.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so all of this that you've given us is pretty much a masterclass in how you how you get embodied, how you listen to your own internal wisdom to to guide you.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I I love what you said.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was a while ago, but you were talking about how basically the universe was tapping on your shoulder to say, when are you gonna stop?
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like when is it when is enough enough for you, giving you all this information to know you you need to stop, you need to take better care of yourself.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I think what you've also so beautifully demonstrated for us is that it's not just about nervous system management.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just about taking care of your health, it's really being authentic in alignment, you know, pausing, making moves that are feeling like it's right for you and not ignoring those body signals.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I think also really importantly, not to take on other people's feelings and emotions or responsibility for managing them, yes, um, and not to divert us, to take us into a bigger, you know, tangent, but it makes me think of so many of us who have that people pleasing, which is really just a piece of fawning, which is part of fight, flight, fright, and trying to manage your nervous system by people pleasing and keeping other people in a happy, comfortable state at the sacrifice of ourselves.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: And when I made that realization, I was like, ooh, I didn't know that's what I was doing.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was just really kind and thoughtful.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize actually, it's it's not altruism.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's really doing things to control other people's emotions so that your nervous system feels safe.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I realized no, my nervous system is my responsibility.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody has to be or do anything for me to feel safe in my own nervous system.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's me.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's my job.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's an inside job.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we can certainly have people who will co-regulate with us and who are safe people where we can be honest, but that's like that deeper level, I think, of alignment where you can be fully honest with yourself and with others.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: When, you know, like you said, you got to a point where your body was like, I just can't do this anymore.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: And the universe itself is saying, when is enough enough, Nancy?
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_00: When are you gonna stop and give yourself a chance to heal, to recenter yourself and to follow that desire for calm, peace, and ease.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so thankful, thank you for sharing all of that, that instead of ignoring it and trying to push through even more, like trying to fight, trying to basically okay, let's find an external reason why this is happening and you know, take a pill or you know what, you know, go on a diet.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and all those, not to say they're not helpful, but I began to realize the root cause of my external insomnia, hair loss, you know, actually my yeah, I literally, my skin was just very, very dry.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like it, it, it completely like, you know, changed my structure.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of like, oh, I'll just put on, get a more heavy, heavy-duty moisturizer, I will, you know, take a pill of sleep every night, instead of masking, I knew that if I was to have and enjoy a quality life where I could look back on the projectory of my life and say, wow, I did, I enjoyed my life.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: I needed to dig deeper.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't, it wasn't the result of just covering up an external with, you know, masking the symptom.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: I needed to get to the root cause.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: That was my wisdom.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so thankful that, you know, the forces of nature, love, divine help kept tapping me on the shoulder to dig a little, not to just say, oh, I've got to go to another doctor.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_01: This one didn't help, or, you know, this this fitness plan.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna use this fitness and diet plan to this is gonna really ramp it up without taking care of the very essence of myself.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like the fitness plans are excellent, the diet plans are excellent, maybe a pill or two, okay.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: But really, that is external.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that will help if you're working on your internal.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's always going to be at arm's length if you are um, you know, moving through life.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: What can, you know, what's the external going to do for me?
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, not a lot.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: Those problems may go away for a little bit, but they're gonna continue to bubble up, can come back at different times, spaces, and places.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, talking to you this morning just really makes me realize that how we acknowledge the externals that we're feeling that show up, maybe in health issues, stress issues, mental health, can go a long way in diminishing them or completely leading them that we can manage and have that.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: So it's yes, the diet will help, but what's going on underneath the surface that that brought that about or the exercise?
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: So it is a it's a deep process, internal, external, multifaceted, according to the person.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: Completely different.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: What I need for me to feel good is completely different, maybe than what you need to feel good.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so not just taking like, oh, the everyone says this works good, but what's gonna what about that may or may not work good for you?
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's never one size fits all, is what is it?
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: One size fits one.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: So that is really, I think at the heart of my life, looking back on that to today, that was the gift that was given to me was to really work on my inner game, to really begin to really know myself well, coming to trust myself and love myself.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's a big one.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_01: All of that lays the foundation for pretty much everything else to come about.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, that that this can be a whole other topic because you can just see so many of us that are walking around with you know apparently obvious health issues that they don't have you don't have to have that, you know.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_01: It can't be the other way.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying that life life happens for sure, and your body responds.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: However, it doesn't need to be that's it, you know.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was my thing too.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, wow, is this how I'm good my life is gonna play out?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: In some dealing with insomnia now and hair fallout and saggy dry skin and just feeling constantly, I'm in a mental roller coaster, like, gosh, that's not fun.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not enjoying myself.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm just basically trying to get through each day.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think so many people are probably feeling that way right now.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love to invite you to tell people where they can find you, what you have going on, and you know what's coming up for you that they can get involved with.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you can find me on my website, nancystevenscoaching.com.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: That houses, I've got a really nice gift, a somatic clarity guide that you can click on and receive that from my website.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: You can find me, I'm very active on LinkedIn.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're on LinkedIn, you can find me Nancy Stevens or it's Nancy Stevens Coaching.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: I love to post a lot of goodness there.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be participating as a participant, a workshop presenter, and uh an attendee at an upcoming wellness retreat called Soul Treat, put on by the wellness universe, which I'm a part of.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be giving an immersive, restorative, beautiful yoga experience that's gonna cultivate just gentle body work, meditation, and breath work so that you kind of receive all the benefits.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: This retreat is see, we're bringing it back after took a little pause.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's in it's in Boone, North Carolina.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_01: You can find more details by connecting with me on LinkedIn if you're interested in this retreat or the wellness universe.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: If you just look up wellnessuniverse.com.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_01: So those two things I have, I have going up going on in my life right now that I'm I'm sharing and I'm always available.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to talk more in depth, you can sign up for a you know, a clarity session with me to get to know a little bit more about me, to figure out where you are, if coaching's right for you, if if this is the right season in life.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of my life's work of really working one-to-one with others so that you can live your best life and not settle for trying to get through each and every day.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm so grateful to you, Nancy.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like you really honestly taught such a masterclass on embodiment and self-empowerment work.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: We'll make sure to link everything in the show notes so you can connect with Nancy, you can check out her offerings, maybe check out that retreat in North Carolina, which sounds amazing.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then definitely follow Nancy on LinkedIn.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: She she puts out some beautiful content on a very regular basis.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I love checking out your posts and the things that you write and the quizzes that you put up for people to participate.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: I love that so much.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_00: This, I mean, for me, this has felt like a beautiful way to start the weekend.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: I feel very grounded and centered in your presence.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, listener, if you're looking for someone who can bring that quality and help you create more, you know, calm, peace, ease, and freedom in your life, then I highly recommend having a conversation with Nancy.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, again, we'll put everything in the show notes.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: And Nancy, thank you so much for being here.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being a friend and for spending this time on a Saturday morning with me.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you so much.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate you as well.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_01: You are you are definitely a gem and a gift to all of us.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's been a pleasure to be here.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_01: What I feel is just having a a gal's conversation about life and what is.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for doing your work and allowing me to share and hopefully support and touch somebody today.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you and received.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: All right, listener, thank you for being here all the way to the end of the podcast.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: I invite you, if you've got a little extra time, hop down and comment, rate, review, and please, please share the show with other people.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_00: When we get these words out into the airwaves, we're raising humanity one conversation at a time.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_00: And when you share it with others, you're helping that mission that I have.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you again.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Nancy.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll see you next time.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.