Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #196: Stuck in the Rut of Constant Critique

Transcript

Episode #196: Stuck in the Rut of Constant Critique · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

• 0:02
  Hi, Welcome to tea time with Amy and Bev. Good day, Good
• 0:06
  day. How are you. I'm doing great. I really am doing great.
• 0:12
  I'm just a little tired. We had a huge I mean, I'm
• 0:15
  a part of an organization, a women's organization. Actually that's not even a
• 0:20
  true statement. I'm in part of an international organization. And we had a
• 0:25
  huge fundraising dinner last night. And so got to bed about twelve thirty because
• 0:31
  I needed that time to decompress, you know, just being on hyper go
• 0:36
  go go, and then needing some time dish bring it down so I can
• 0:40
  go to bed. But I slept great. I've been sleeping great. Yeah.
• 0:47
  So it was a lot of fun. It was great. Everything's great.
• 0:52
  That's the word of the day. Great. Freaking it's great. Great,
• 0:56
  It's freaking great. Man, that's cool. I forgot you had that
• 1:02
  function going on. So we kind of talked about it earlier in the week.
• 1:06
  Yeah. I had group yesterday and an appointment and it's like Friday,
• 1:10
  I was, I was at my office and I walked out of the bathroom
• 1:12
  and I felt this strong arch canceled, cancel everything on Saturday, and I
• 1:18
  was like okay, and I kind of blew it off, right, It
• 1:22
  was just neutral, but it was just like cancel. So then I came
• 1:23
  back, was doing some other things and I went to go walk to another
• 1:26
  area and I heard it again canceled. So I did took the day and
• 1:33
  totally took the day. Yeah, just canceled everything. And that's like,
• 1:36
  I don't know what the it was, just I think it's just a matter
• 1:41
  of us listening to our intuitions sometimes when that stuff's come forward. It doesn't
• 1:44
  matter if I on the other side of it, I would say I needed
• 1:47
  to break because I'd been working every single day and I hadn't hadn't taken any
• 1:49
  time off since around the holidays, and so and then when you take off
• 1:55
  time around the holidays, it's not really taking off time because you're sill running
• 1:57
  around doing things, other functions and stuff, which it's still fun. It
• 2:01
  just gave me that freedom to do that without having to do the work.
• 2:06
  But it's like I hadn't had it, and I really didn't know how much
• 2:09
  I needed it, just to get caught up around stuff on the house and
• 2:13
  stuff like that. It is to take time for yourselves and it's to honor
• 2:15
  self, right, It's just to listen to that, because before I would
• 2:19
  have said, oh, I can't do that, and I would have talked
• 2:21
  myself out of it, even though I was receiving the guidance to do so.
• 2:24
  And I'm in a space now it's like I'm trusting the guidance because guess
• 2:29
  what, it makes life more exciting. Otherwise it's the same thing every single
• 2:32
  day. What's today? I don't even these days, I don't even know
• 2:36
  what date is half the time. Yeah, let alone a date. Don't
• 2:39
  ask me for numbers, because it's like I have no clue. I was
• 2:43
  getting ready to go look on the phone real quick before we started and write
• 2:46
  on my tablet. Sometimes when I scribble all right the date and stuff like
• 2:50
  that, and it's like I didn't even look. I have no clue.
• 2:53
  I do know that it's Sunday because of the our getting together time frames and
• 2:58
  stuff, but otherwise most of the time I don't even know. I actually,
• 3:01
  yesterday I thought today was Monday, So sourprise. Yeah, last week
• 3:07
  there was it was Wednesday, and I was I swear it was like Thursday.
• 3:14
  I had to keep looking at the count. I'm like, something is
• 3:15
  off. Yeah, so yeah, I'm with you, and there's something that's
• 3:22
  off or is it something that time's not so much role ofvant there's it's we
• 3:27
  put so much power into time, and maybe it's not that powerful, you
• 3:30
  know what I mean, maybe it's not. It doesn't have to be at
• 3:32
  the forefront all the time. And I think a lot of times, like
• 3:36
  even for me, I it's do massages and it's you scheduled by the time
• 3:38
  frame, right, your schedule for an hour, and it's and I've got
• 3:42
  a certain timeframe to go by. But half the time I don't pay attention
• 3:45
  to the time frame because it's like I just seem to know how I need.
• 3:49
  I know, if I listened to my intuition, I'm just going through
• 3:51
  the process exactly how it's supposed to be. So it's it's kind of an
• 3:55
  odd place to be. And when we're using the old ideas in the temple,
• 4:01
  that's not really it doesn't matter as much anymore. Yeah, that was
• 4:05
  one of the things last night, because you know, we have an agenda
• 4:09
  for the for everything that's happening, so that we can end the event in
• 4:14
  a reasonable timeframe, so people you know, aren't there for hours and hours
• 4:18
  and we have time to clean up. And that was a couple things with
• 4:26
  that though with this scenario is watching the clock like, oh my god,
• 4:35
  we only have a couple of minutes and we got to do oh my god.
• 4:39
  It was like a constant oh my god moment with a couple people,
• 4:43
  and amost like relax, it's okay, it's okay if it's not exactly on
• 4:47
  time. And then also that goes along with perfectionists. These these people are
• 4:51
  perfectionists, and I'm like, it's okay. I was a server, just
• 4:56
  so you know. I was a server, and which means we it's called
• 5:00
  synchronized serving. So we there's eight people at a table. There are eight
• 5:05
  servers in a line. We go out and we walk like we go around
• 5:10
  the table, and then each one of us has a person that we're serving
• 5:14
  all night at that table. Okay, and it's like, okay, well
• 5:17
  when this person gets talking, then you go out. That's your queue and
• 5:21
  all this stuff. But it was like, oh my gosh, we there
• 5:26
  were like five minutes behind. I'm like, really, five minutes these people
• 5:30
  are drinking and enjoying the evening. You think they were, No, it's
• 5:34
  five minutes off. No, they're there to enjoy themselves. It was a
• 5:40
  fundraising dinner, and it's like, can we just take a breath. I
• 5:44
  don't know how many times I said that last night. Can we just take
• 5:46
  a breath. It's okay, it really is. Life is not gonna I
• 5:53
  didn't say this, but of course my thoughts and life is not gonna end
• 5:56
  right now as we know it. I mean it could physically, but really
• 6:00
  learning we're good. It's okay. Nobody's gonna die over this promise you.
• 6:09
  And uh, there's so much I could say about the event and the experiences
• 6:14
  and the stuff I noticed. It was just I'm like, wow, you
• 6:16
  know, just I just walk Around'm like, wow, isn't that interesting?
• 6:25
  So yeah, so when you talk about time, I noticed that when I
• 6:30
  put that pressure on myself of deadlines and and things to get you know,
• 6:34
  done that I want done, and and then I start thinking about all the
• 6:39
  stuff that I want to do and get done, my stress is held in
• 6:44
  my neck and shoulders right here. I feel that tension coming up, and
• 6:47
  that's my signal. What am I? What am I perceiving? What?
• 6:51
  What kind of pressures am I putting on myself? What did I over commit?
• 6:56
  Am I am I hanging on to and not good enough story? Because
• 7:00
  if I don't get this done now shows I'm not good enough, you know.
• 7:02
  So time time is interesting for I mean most, I mean just society
• 7:09
  in general. Time time it can be very constraining, restraining and to be
• 7:18
  in that type of environment too that you're in because it is a lot of
• 7:23
  orchestration behind the scenes. Right. People know that it's just it's happening.
• 7:27
  They don't as far as they know, it's flawless, right, But it
• 7:30
  is flawless because there's been people behind the scenes that have been focused for someone
• 7:34
  else saying, hey, just take a breath, we got this. Nobody
• 7:36
  knows, nobody knows the difference. They know, they don't know the difference.
• 7:41
  They're just having a good time, right, And that's that's what everybody
• 7:44
  came together for. And it's it was one of those things I noticed myself
• 7:49
  kind of getting a little perturbed because of one in particular, but a couple
• 8:01
  of people who were on that in that oh my god, oh my everything
• 8:05
  was an oh my god, oh my god, right and on edge,
• 8:07
  and I just wanted to pick them up and put them in a corner and
• 8:11
  say, shut the fuck up. Just stay there. We're good. It's
• 8:15
  gonna be handled. It's okay. Like that, That's where I was going
• 8:18
  with my internal because everything was okay. It was everything was okay, but
• 8:26
  they they have to be there and just like fleece freaking out and I just
• 8:33
  can I get maybe I got duct take because I'm gonna duct take their mouth
• 8:37
  and I'm gonna put them in a chair and strap them in, put them
• 8:39
  in the corner, and just but we'll handle it. It's okay. That's
• 8:46
  a little questive. But I was kind of getting to that point, you
• 8:50
  know, and I was so glad towards the end of the evening where I
• 8:52
  knew, okay, we're done, Like I can get away from this person
• 8:56
  and go do something else. So it was just it was funny. And
• 9:03
  it makes me think of like when I was going through a drenal stuff.
• 9:05
  Honestly, it's we go back to the perfectionists and all that stuff. It's
• 9:09
  like you're over. You don't even realize how you overtax your own system,
• 9:15
  and that person was like staying in that. I hate talking about this stuff
• 9:18
  because it's like every time I don't know, I start having an experiences afterwards.
• 9:22
  So let's just say that they're not in this the frame of mind of
• 9:26
  peace and calmness. They're in a different frame of mind, and that is
• 9:30
  very can't be very taxing on your system. And it's and then it's it
• 9:35
  almost feeds itself that whole energy, right, it's it's the whole thing we've
• 9:37
  talked about. Whatever you're thinking about, you're bringing about, whatever you're talking
• 9:41
  about, you're bringing about. But there was more. And it also on
• 9:45
  the other side of that. It just goes to show you when you have
• 9:48
  one person, it only takes the one person to be in that common that
• 9:50
  piece, and how much of an effect it can have on everybody. Now,
• 9:54
  obviously it couldn't affect everybody because and maybe you did, because that one
• 9:58
  person she lives or he lives in this state all the time. Right,
• 10:03
  This is a constant, This doesn't go away. And this is where I
• 10:05
  say, it's like our systems can only handle so much of that. I
• 10:09
  want to say deprivation. We're depriving ourselves of this constant flow or this piece
• 10:15
  and this ease and its grace all the time. When we get into perfectionism,
• 10:20
  when we get into all the time frames and stuff like that instead of
• 10:24
  getting a feel like for your intuition and you have this such an amazing guidance
• 10:28
  with the inside of you. I'll go back to the massage, like I
• 10:31
  know when to move from this place to the next place to the next place.
• 10:35
  It's with flow and ease. And it's the same thing for your your
• 10:37
  gathering because it's just a flow. It's just one thing to the next thing
• 10:41
  to the next thing. And it could be so much fun or not.
• 10:46
  And it's totally up to each person. And who knows what they were carrying
• 10:50
  on their shoulders, right, we just talked about shoulders, so who knows
• 10:52
  what they were carrying. But then to be at the end of the evening
• 10:56
  and know that everything turned out okay. And it's just interesting how these perspects
• 11:00
  to kind of arise, Like how can you be in the same space with
• 11:03
  people and then be in two different spaces because we're allowed to we're here on
• 11:07
  free will. So again, and I know you do this all the time.
• 11:11
  It's like, why is this person showing up in my experience? What
• 11:13
  am I to gain from this? Oh? I used to be this just
• 11:16
  exactly liked this. I will tell you that I would be It would have
• 11:18
  been exactly like that, and yeah, not being happy though, but I
• 11:22
  wouldn't have been happy the whole time. Just get everything done and get it
• 11:26
  in order, got it done, okay, But did I enjoy myself?
• 11:30
  And I would have said that, no, that I hadn't enjoyed myself,
• 11:33
  not in that space, right, And I didn't like those kind of functions
• 11:37
  that I mean a lot of this stuff because that's what my husband used to
• 11:43
  do. I mean, he used to do all that kind of stuff.
• 11:45
  And it's like I had to be part of the functions and to go with
• 11:48
  him and stuff. And it's like, I, you know, we talked
• 11:50
  about that, being the introvert and everything else. I did not want to
• 11:52
  be thrown up into that space. I didn't want to be and God forbid,
• 11:56
  don't leave me standing by myself. You know, I don't know these
• 11:58
  people. So it's a lot, just a lot of the feelings and stuff
• 12:01
  that we have and this emotional stuff and also recognizing that we're under a spotlight,
• 12:07
  right, and so you can get kind of worried about things, especially
• 12:11
  in that kind of position because you guys are being seen. Yeah, but
• 12:15
  only overside that you're not the focal point, do you know what I mean?
• 12:16
  The groups, the gatherings, they're having cocktails, everything's a little bit
• 12:20
  different. So it's just going through the flow of it, not taking things
• 12:22
  so seriously, seriously, being very light about everything, and then it changes
• 12:28
  everything. Yeah, And you know, as you're talking, it's like when
• 12:33
  you're on that edge of you know, everything needs to be perfect, everything
• 12:41
  should be on time, on schedule. They're the first ones, this is
• 12:46
  what I noticed. They're the first ones to also point out everything that went
• 12:50
  wrong because that's what they know, right, yes, and uh. And
• 13:00
  so there were there were four teams of eight because it's a big room.
• 13:05
  So there's two two teams of eight to serve beverage, two teams of eight
• 13:13
  to serve the meals each salad, soup, entree, dessert, palette cleaner,
• 13:20
  like okay, And it was afterwards I was what was called the lead,
• 13:26
  So I was like the leader. It's kind of playing followed. Just
• 13:30
  follow my lead, and this is what we're doing. And I've been doing
• 13:35
  this for several years, and it was it's just been I uh, I
• 13:39
  know what it feels like to be felled like a perfectionist and I know what
• 13:43
  it feels like to want to get it right and and not mess up.
• 13:46
  And oh my god, am I going to spill the drink? Oh my
• 13:48
  god? Am I going to get it in the right? Because there's a
• 13:52
  glass, there's a there's a beverage that's served with each round of food,
• 13:58
  and so there's many glasses on the table, and so it's like, oh
• 14:01
  my god, am I Oh which class do I put this one in?
• 14:05
  You know? And so I know all of that feels like because it's all
• 14:09
  attached to that I'm not gonna I'm not good enough. I'm not going to
• 14:11
  get this right, and I'm scared that I'm going to do it wrong.
• 14:13
  And then I'm scared that I'm going to be judged and criticized. Right,
• 14:18
  So, because now you have your team, Now you have the people sitting
• 14:20
  at the table, six fifteen six excluding yourself, fifteen people, and so
• 14:30
  that intensity of emotion and so I this is the second year that I've been
• 14:35
  a lead, and I was like, this is got to be like hearted.
• 14:39
  People are here to spend money, people are here to donate, and
• 14:43
  we have auctions and it's just supposed to be a really fun and exciting time.
• 14:48
  It's like, first of all, freaking smile. Okay, let's just
• 14:52
  act like we're having fun because we got to bring that energy. So that
• 14:58
  was when I'm like, all right, we're going and I'm talking to my
• 15:00
  own team like all right, we're going out there. We're gonna have a
• 15:03
  smile and we're gonna we're gonna have a good time. And then the other
• 15:07
  thing was you know, explaining you're gonna let we're gonna be flexible. This
• 15:13
  is not being perfect because people are gonna get in the way, chairs are
• 15:18
  gonna be in the way. We might have to adjust and do a different
• 15:20
  table first, or the order of our table is gonna be different. Like
• 15:24
  I was like, it's a it's okay, come on, let's just have
• 15:28
  fun, right, So giving them putting them at ease. And after this
• 15:35
  event was done, one of the one of the people on my team was
• 15:39
  like, yeah, you know, I heard I heard the other person or
• 15:43
  people on the other team they're like, oh my god, we got this
• 15:48
  wrong, and oh my god, we did we didn't do this right.
• 15:50
  And I thought and I would stand out and as people as the servers were
• 15:56
  going out and then coming back, I was standing there where they were coming
• 16:00
  back, and some of them look angry, like they're facial expressions that thought,
• 16:07
  what in the world are you thinking about? Or letting you get to
• 16:11
  you that you're you have that expression not smiling or being that serious. Look,
• 16:18
  yeah, who signed me up for this stuff? You know? I'm
• 16:22
  just like So I would stand there and I'd smile at every one of the
• 16:25
  servers that were coming back. I smile at them, and I'm like,
• 16:27
  good job where you go. You're doing great, you know, being that
• 16:30
  cheerleader, and and I'm like, okay, mental note, we're going to
• 16:36
  have that discussion about next year's with the services, cause you know what,
• 16:45
  they're all volunteers, as they are not there to get up perfect and right
• 16:52
  and be worried about being good enough or or you know, getting snapdad or
• 16:56
  yelled at or they are volunteers getting paid to do this. So let's make
• 17:03
  it as much fun for ourselves as it is for the guests. So mental
• 17:08
  note made It's gonna be a conversation. Yeah, but you know, you
• 17:15
  see triggers. You get to see all the triggers that are happening from this
• 17:18
  from that experience, because that just you talking about it. I understand what
• 17:25
  you're talking about, and I understand them coming in and not having a smile
• 17:29
  on because it's like they're judging themselves while they're doing stuff. They're judging themselves,
• 17:33
  typically so harshly that they're they're not giving themselves that grace and needs that
• 17:38
  they are just they don't do this on a regular basis. They have an
• 17:41
  expectation of themselves that they put on themselves. Nobody else. They put it
• 17:45
  on themselves. Yeah, and I know that because I've done I had done
• 17:48
  that forever, and I still do it in circumstances, and so I don't
• 17:53
  know until something else triggers me that situation that your whole night probably triggered me.
• 18:02
  I'm just saying it probably would have. There would have it certainly had
• 18:04
  opportunities for it, for sure, or I would have just had a good
• 18:07
  time, right it was. It's a choice, and it just depends on
• 18:11
  where you're at in your mind and if you need, like you need to
• 18:12
  take a break for a second, you know, a minute, I need
• 18:15
  to go to the bathroom. Breathe, good, Well you did it.
• 18:21
  But it's like for the person that's dealing, you know, dealing with this
• 18:25
  right, allowing that flow in that grace and ees, that's like take that
• 18:29
  second, yeah, take an extra deep breath, Like just step around the
• 18:32
  corner and take three deep breaths. Right, it's just kind of recenter and
• 18:36
  and start over again and take it lighter, because it's just it reminds me
• 18:41
  of anybody that's ever watched Caesar Milan or a dog whisper. He'd always talk
• 18:44
  about the red zone, and once you get into the red zone, it's
• 18:47
  your it's you got to catch it beforehand, otherwise it's too far. And
• 18:51
  I feel like in those kind of situations, we can make it lighter right
• 18:55
  now, then you stop, you stop yourself from getting into that red zone.
• 18:59
  So how we know with awareness right, paying attention to how how weird
• 19:03
  we tick, how we react to things, what kind of triggers us.
• 19:06
  Having that awareness of it and being in that space and then knowing that you're
• 19:10
  gonna have a good time, and then also setting intentions before you go to
• 19:12
  a function like this or before you go do something like I'm having a freaking
• 19:17
  great time. I don't know how it's gonna work out. I don't know
• 19:18
  what that looks like, but I'm I'm I'm excited to see how it surprises
• 19:22
  and delights me. Right, we don't have to we get so caught up
• 19:26
  in the perfection part of it and then realizing, gosh, when we're trying
• 19:30
  to orchestrate and control everything, we're missing out on all the fun. We're
• 19:34
  missing out on all the the nuggets that we're getting throughout the night. Because
• 19:38
  the sounds like there was a lot that you gained from just being in that
• 19:41
  space, a lot of information that you got to witness, and you could
• 19:45
  see triggers. You could see people being happy. You can see how people
• 19:49
  are when they're drinking. Because you're working, You're not you're not having any
• 19:53
  not even a single probably just going and doing your stuff. You're helping to
• 19:59
  take care of all the since to me, that's there, there's it's that
• 20:02
  could be a fun place to play, or it could be a very run
• 20:07
  the opposite direction. The gates open, the horses are running wild, there's
• 20:14
  chaos in the streets, and you know, for for I mean each time,
• 20:22
  I mean being in big groups like that, each time it's getting easier
• 20:26
  and easier. It's still practice for me as well, because it's a lot
• 20:32
  of it's a lot of high energy to hold one person holding that type of
• 20:37
  space. And I'm not saying this is this is difficult. This would be
• 20:41
  difficult for everybody. I mean somebody who's been a cheerleader, like they're all
• 20:47
  the raw wild, you know, and then they can do that for a
• 20:48
  long period of time, and it's exciting for and it was exciting for me,
• 20:53
  and I enjoyed every moment. But still it's having that high vibrational frequency
• 21:00
  for a while, for a long period of time. Even I had to
• 21:03
  go take a brea, I went in the bathroom. I was like,
• 21:07
  this is deep breaths, like who dang? All right, And I would
• 21:10
  have a mental conversation if nobody was in the bathroom, I would talk out
• 21:14
  loud, be real, all right, sister, you got you're doing great
• 21:17
  and you're having a good time and you're smiling, and it's is good and
• 21:22
  we're just going to keep on doing what we're doing, and let's go do
• 21:26
  this, like just having some kind of conversation like that with myself and pull
• 21:33
  the pants up, wash the hands, and off we go and right back
• 21:36
  into it. And so just taking that couple of minutes every periodically even for
• 21:41
  somebody who's smiling and having a great time, It is getting easier and easier.
• 21:49
  So and recognizing when people are in that space of somber comes so wordless.
• 22:03
  They're just like, I'm here, what do you want me to do?
• 22:06
  You know, it's just like get them done, Okay, let's let's
• 22:12
  get up straight, let's smile. Not without saying it. That was interesting
• 22:17
  without saying it, without using those words, just hey, you're doing great
• 22:22
  and smiling at them and making eye contact with them and cheering them on,
• 22:25
  and and every one of them, every one of those people, when they
• 22:30
  looked at me in my eyes and I was smiling at them, if they're
• 22:33
  if they were like, they would lift up and smile back at me,
• 22:40
  every one of them. I was like, it just takes a little bit,
• 22:44
  just takes a bit of action to help somebody shift their energy. And
• 22:52
  that's awesome that you said what you said. They lifted up and then they
• 22:56
  smiled or they smiled and they looked it up. It's like, it was
• 22:59
  you can't be down like this and smiling right, it's gonna bring you,
• 23:02
  it's gonna lift you up automatically. Just putting a smile on the face.
• 23:04
  So that's huge, that's huge to even recognize as well. Yeah, because
• 23:08
  there's a lot of stuff there. There's a lot of stuff there, honestly,
• 23:11
  a lot of opportunity and maybe so much. Yeah, I don't wanna
• 23:17
  say, even when you're high vibing the whole time, even if you were
• 23:19
  in a space of a high viping the whole time, there's there's potential for
• 23:22
  you. Maybe they need to take a break for a second, potential because
• 23:26
  we can only fly so high for so long, you know. But like
• 23:30
  you're practicing, so you're getting you're gaining more and more momentum in that direction.
• 23:34
  You're being around a group of people, larger and larger groups, and
• 23:38
  it's becoming easy. Could you imagine walking out on stage with one hundred and
• 23:41
  fifty people on stage here like separate from everybody. You don't even get to
• 23:45
  be in with everybody, And it's like that's where it's kind of guiding you
• 23:48
  to. So it's getting you more and more accustomed to that to where when
• 23:52
  you get into that space, you don't feel like a server that just got
• 23:56
  set out and there's like fifteen different cups and twelve different silverware, you know,
• 24:00
  like all the stuff's like, I don't even know. This is very
• 24:03
  confusing for me. Some people can flow with it like matter of fact,
• 24:06
  this is easy. Other people just don't and that's okay. So it's it's
• 24:11
  there's a lot there is. Like I said, there's a lot to have
• 24:12
  been gained during that whole evening for all of us to even hearing this.
• 24:17
  So yeah, thanks for sharing your for sure. And I just want to
• 24:21
  say, two days of decorating for this event, wow, like a whole
• 24:26
  day. I would say, yeah, well two days because we started at
• 24:30
  eight am on Friday, we ended around four five pm, and then back
• 24:37
  at it at eight am on Saturday until about noonish two o'clock. So a
• 24:45
  day and a half of decorating and we're talking like to do this event was
• 24:51
  over, I would probably say over eighty probably close to ninety or so in
• 24:56
  volunteers. Wow, get this done. And yeah, so just a huge
• 25:03
  shout out and appreciation for all of them because it was it was. It
• 25:07
  was great. There, I am great. It was a wonderful event in
• 25:15
  the evening and spending with all them people and even all the different personalities and
• 25:19
  expressions, and so I love it. I know it's it's fun. It
• 25:30
  was fun. Yeah, it sounds sounds exciting, and I've been I've been,
• 25:33
  Like I said, I've been doing this for several years, even with
• 25:37
  the setup and everything, and in past years, the tension just in the
• 25:45
  setup, the decorating, the tension. And we had an extra day so
• 25:52
  we would be able to get in on a Thursday. So we have Thursday,
• 25:56
  Friday, Saturday, and then the event Saturday night, and so the
• 25:59
  tension that would be there about getting it done and being perfect and all the
• 26:03
  things. And it wasn't fun. It wasn't fun. I have to say
• 26:11
  I did it, but it wasn't fun. And even I mean, I
• 26:14
  was in a different place with myself. So just recognizing right whatever wherever I'm
• 26:19
  at with myself is what I'm going to have my attention and focus on with
• 26:23
  other people in my experience. And so that's what I was attracted to,
• 26:32
  was the discomfort and the discord. So the more I was in my space
• 26:41
  of calmness and peace and just enjoying myself and getting things done, focused on
• 26:47
  getting things done, it was smooth, it was easy, and there's it
• 26:53
  was not a lot of tension like things were getting done and it was flowing,
• 26:59
  and I saw that a perfectionists would not see that. Right again,
• 27:06
  we would go back to the perfectionists and point out, oh, this isn't
• 27:08
  done, that's not right. Oh my god, is this right. It's
• 27:12
  like somebody would say something, I'd say, Okay, it's done, done,
• 27:17
  take care of it, no worries if I go like it was just
• 27:22
  so simple. Yeah, But then it's changing the focus for people. So
• 27:29
  it's like anything anybody that you see, it's like reminding them what was the
• 27:33
  awesome things that you had experienced that night? Right? What was the all
• 27:37
  the great things? Oh I saved that glass almost fell on that person,
• 27:41
  right, those a little awesome things like who that was close? Yeah?
• 27:45
  You know, all the other things, the conversations, the smiles, the
• 27:48
  laughter that you walked into. It's like we've missed out on a lot of
• 27:52
  stuff when we're being perfectionists or trying to control things instead of just like being
• 27:57
  in that like sense energies, sensing your body how it's being affected by all
• 28:03
  this energy around you, and even if it feels like it's lower, it's
• 28:07
  like asking yourself questions like how can I raise my vibrational frequency higher. Right
• 28:11
  now, how can I be? How can I achieve all this and be
• 28:15
  in a blissful state? Because I know that that's more beneficial for everybody around
• 28:18
  us than it is for us to be. You know, the opposite of
• 28:22
  that, and the opposite of that can have many different hats And it's just
• 28:29
  interesting. Yeah. And as a as a teaching point, it's said that
• 28:37
  for every negative thought, just a thought, I mean negative thought you have,
• 28:44
  you need to have three positive thoughts immediately follow that, like a like
• 28:49
  a to make a cancel. You know. So isn't that interesting? Because
• 28:53
  I mean that's how we are. We give so much attention to negativity and
• 28:57
  drama, and so you have one negative thought thought, it takes three times
• 29:03
  the positive thoughts to counterbalance it. And how often or how aware are most
• 29:15
  people to go, oh, I have a negative thought, what are three?
• 29:18
  They don't. I'm gonna tell you they don't unless they are very aware
• 29:22
  of their thought process. And so I know this is something I had to
• 29:27
  learn as well as you have. First of all, you got to be
• 29:30
  aware of your thoughts. That's first the starting point. Well what am I
• 29:34
  thinking? Well, I'm thinking today's just a shit day. Okay, what's
• 29:41
  three thoughts after that that can be on the flip side. And so that
• 29:49
  for sure in itself is a practice. But it's like the more the more
• 29:55
  you're aware or even practicing more positive thoughts, when a negative thought does pop
• 30:04
  up, you're just quicker at recognizing it. So people, we just don't
• 30:15
  give awareness to our thoughts because are we It's like we go one from one
• 30:21
  thought to a next and it just goes and there's there's no like, there's
• 30:26
  no separation in the thought process. I could go from from oh my god,
• 30:33
  I got get up today to oh, I gotta remember to go to
• 30:34
  this grocery store and oh my gosh, I gotta do the laundry, and
• 30:38
  then I'm over here with oh, I wonder what my mom's doing, And
• 30:42
  then I'm over here with, oh, I wonder how my son's dogs do
• 30:47
  it Like we're just constant thinking, thinking, thinking, and not giving any
• 30:51
  attention to what we're thinking about. We just let it like a random tape
• 30:56
  is rolling and we're just like letting it play and it's causing is being able
• 31:03
  to create a pause. Oh it's gonna be a ship day. Oh wait,
• 31:08
  what is that thought? Where is that coming from? What's what?
• 31:12
  Why am I already believing it's a ship day? What? What has even
• 31:17
  created anything to make it a ship day? Why am I defining this whole
• 31:21
  day in this moment as a ship day? When I just have this like
• 31:25
  it, it's like, we don't give any attention to it until you're aware
• 31:27
  of it, until you choose to be interested and curious about what's going on
• 31:33
  in your head. And that's fun stuff. It's not bad stuff because and
• 31:40
  it's I mean still even still we get, we go as far as we
• 31:42
  go, and then I recognize the thoughts and then it's like if we we
• 31:48
  I could let those thoughts just can keep continue going forward to not stop them,
• 31:53
  not having an awareness of it or just let it be. And it
• 31:56
  builds and builds into a whole other story. It creates it, it's it's
• 32:01
  it gets bigger and bigger all by itself, and then you'll think about it.
• 32:06
  Then you'll think about, oh everything that masks with that energy that you
• 32:08
  were thinking. Now you'll bring all this stuff that's like it rushes in real
• 32:12
  quick to fill that space. Oh yeah, we're here too. This has
• 32:15
  all happened. It was really serious you know, all the stuff, and
• 32:16
  then you could probably talk to different people from that night. You could say,
• 32:20
  oh, it's a great night. Someone else might not say it was
• 32:22
  a great night from their perspective, right, even though it was. But
• 32:25
  it's everything is a perspective, and it's what what What are we giving it?
• 32:30
  What awareness are we feeding? Maybe somebody just right, somebody could have
• 32:37
  just had a breakup and they were invited to go to this event with a
• 32:42
  friend, and so they're there with the friend and everybody else at the tables
• 32:45
  having a good time except that person. Because they're on their mind is what
• 32:49
  did I do wrong? How come they don't love me? How come?
• 32:52
  Oh I'm supposed to be having a good time, but I'm not. I'm
• 32:53
  not really into it? Right? So you have set having a great time,
• 32:58
  and then one person is seeing it differently, all the stuff that's going
• 33:05
  on around us. And the thing is, we may depending if you're high
• 33:07
  vibing, you won't probably even notice that. It would never if you wouldn't
• 33:12
  even notice the person, I mean not unless they were obviously crying or something
• 33:15
  like that. But then you would just know that there's a reason that you're
• 33:16
  being brought into their experience because you're high vibing and you can help raise them.
• 33:21
  You can lend them a hand down to help lift them up a little
• 33:22
  bit right, just like you said, just giving just looking at them and
• 33:27
  smiling. That helped raise them up and they smiled. So it's like it's
• 33:30
  it's all all the little subtle things. We want want things to be so
• 33:35
  these big, huge things and so dramatic and so in your face, but
• 33:38
  it doesn't work that way we want everything to And it's that goes along with
• 33:43
  I was listening to something this morning and it's like, we want these big
• 33:45
  experiences that happen but just land in our lap, not we don't want to
• 33:49
  have any control over or do anything with it. Just like, Okay,
• 33:52
  I'm putting it out there, but this is gonna happen and I and I'm
• 33:54
  kind of putting a little bit of a twist on that because when we when
• 33:58
  we're in that space of that expectation and for something just to happen in order
• 34:00
  to motivate me forward, I have to be the one that motivate me forward.
• 34:06
  It's not always going to be outside of myself, and it's for me
• 34:08
  to look at things right it's for me to look at it. Just like
• 34:12
  last night, we could talk about I could say, well, I know
• 34:15
  this this, but but this was so amazing. These people, you know,
• 34:19
  they had their head down and all of a sudden they lifted up their
• 34:22
  head and they were just I saw a twinkling in their eyes or it totally
• 34:24
  changed the frequency for the rest of the night. Those are the things that
• 34:28
  we can pay attention to that shift us too. It's not just for the
• 34:31
  benefit of others. And if we go into a place like looking for something.
• 34:36
  If we want to go into a big group like that and say,
• 34:37
  okay, universe, show me something that's bad that's going on right now,
• 34:42
  show me some who's angry in here or who's this or what? You know,
• 34:45
  what am I going to focus on? Look at over that one I
• 34:46
  just saw her give dirty eyes to the other person, you know, Or
• 34:51
  we could be the person that's all we see is laughter and love the whole
• 34:53
  night. People hugging, people like high fiving, laughing, sharing stuf stories,
• 35:00
  you know, throwing out extra I don't know if they were paying anything
• 35:02
  or throwing out in tips or anything like that, but throwing out extra tips
• 35:06
  or there's just so much things that go on with it. It's like,
• 35:08
  what are you going to focus on and where are you putting your attention on?
• 35:13
  Because if whatever you're putting your attention on is going to grow. So
• 35:15
  if you're like, even if you're not in the great space right then ask
• 35:20
  Okay, I want to show me all the good things that are happening in
• 35:22
  this room right now, in this space right now, Show it to me,
• 35:24
  and the next thing you know, you've forgotten where you were at before
• 35:27
  because you're not even in that space anymore. You're a high viving person,
• 35:30
  and the only we allow ourselves to be low viving we do. It's our
• 35:36
  choice. So if I want to spend that time in that, okay,
• 35:37
  spend the time and it. If that's your motivation, feel free. But
• 35:40
  I'm just saying, because I've been on both sides of it, it's just
• 35:44
  so much nicer to find the things to focus on that feel good and that
• 35:49
  raises your vibrational frequency. It's pretty easy. It's like watching the TV.
• 35:52
  Right I'm going to watch something funny right now. We can do the same
• 35:55
  thing in a group. Okay, okay, universe, show me stuff that's
• 35:59
  funny right now. And it might be us. It might be us,
• 36:02
  It might be us drinking and laughing about it or you know whatever. Yeah,
• 36:08
  I mean, there's there's one table, and whenever the servers came around
• 36:15
  to circle the table, the one person at the table would squeal and clap
• 36:20
  and be here, and and it wasn't one of our tables. But every
• 36:25
  time I heard her, it just mean I would laugh. I was just
• 36:29
  like, this is great. So yeah, it's like, what do you
• 36:31
  what are you tuning into right with your ears and what you're seeing with your
• 36:36
  eyes, and how are you internalizing it based on where you're at with yourself?
• 36:39
  Again, go back to if you just had an upsetting experience and and
• 36:45
  people are are expressing joy around you and laughing and squealing and clapping, and
• 36:52
  you're just choosing to stay suppressed in your emotions, lean into that energy that
• 37:00
  people are showing you, and that it is okay to squeal and clap and
• 37:06
  laugh and dance and giving yourself permission to do that. I'm actually finding myself
• 37:14
  more and more in those kind of places. I'll catch myself someone will tell
• 37:16
  me something and I'm like getting all excited. I'm like, what, who
• 37:19
  are you like where did you come from? Like I could watch videos from
• 37:23
  three and a half years ago and I'll be like, there she is,
• 37:27
  Yeah, there's that person right there. But it's like I'm so I'm not
• 37:30
  even like that anymore. Ye not typically Now I'm not saying that I'm not
• 37:36
  not at all, because I will tell you there are glimpses of that I
• 37:37
  get. But again, it just goes back to the same conversation that we're
• 37:40
  having today. And it's like I can practice what I'm preaching or I can
• 37:44
  do the opposite. Who cares. But it's like whatever makes you happy,
• 37:47
  right, and I can tell you what feels good. I can totally tell
• 37:52
  you what feels good. And it's like it's just like you're you're just whatever
• 37:54
  you want to tune into. So it's just reminding like when you don't feel
• 37:58
  good and you're feeling crappy right now, that moment it is like, it
• 38:00
  doesn't feel good, This isn't what I want to tune into you. What
• 38:02
  do I want to tune into you? Because that's an asking you have a
• 38:06
  desire. Now, that's that it created a desire that you want something different
• 38:08
  and better. That's all that it was that's it. And it's like then
• 38:14
  we find oh, oh I was feeling that way. I want to feel
• 38:15
  this way. How can I have more joy in my life? Show me
• 38:19
  all the joy that I can find in my life or see in life.
• 38:22
  What does that look like? What does that feel like? Asking questions right
• 38:25
  and then celebrating when those things happen, Like you've said before, milking it.
• 38:30
  Milk that situation when you're in it, it's like, really, milk
• 38:32
  it, feel it, draw it out as long as you possibly can.
• 38:37
  And Jill, the next thing comes up, and something's not coming up,
• 38:39
  ask for it to come up. Maybe the universe is like, oh gosh,
• 38:43
  I think Amy needs a little bit of a break. She's have a
• 38:44
  little bit too much excitement the last couple of days. She's tone it down.
• 38:50
  That's right, but it's it's just so simple, but it could be
• 38:53
  so fun. And like I said, it's a simple asking. And I'm
• 38:57
  saying this out loud because it's for me. It's for me to remember,
• 39:00
  like when things start to feel heavy, how can I, Okay, Universe,
• 39:04
  show me what's lighter right now, show me what feels good right now,
• 39:07
  guide me in that direction instead of focusing focusing on the other stuff because
• 39:15
  there's so much amazing stuff that happens in the world. And I think it's
• 39:17
  been an asking that's been going on for a while because I hear people say,
• 39:21
  well, I wish there was like a news station that talked about like
• 39:23
  all the great stuff that was happening in the world. It's up to us
• 39:27
  on an individual basis to talk about all the greatness in the world that we
• 39:30
  see every day. It's up to us, and that information is out there.
• 39:37
  We're just people aren't in alignment with receiving it. There's which Yeah,
• 39:45
  now you know what you're broadcasting, of course, yep, look at your
• 39:50
  Look at your social media feed. You'll know what you're what you're in alignment
• 39:54
  with which you're vibrating to. I go onto myself social media feed. Hardly
• 40:00
  ever do I see any like negativity, negative stuff anymore. And before when
• 40:07
  I first started, that's all it was. It was crap, right,
• 40:10
  But now I got all these positive things, affirmations and people tell them their
• 40:15
  stories and and all the support even if somebody is having a down moment,
• 40:21
  all the support that's in the comments, Like that's what I see every day.
• 40:24
  I'm on social media almost every single day. It is part of my
• 40:29
  business. It's part of the organization I'm in, it's part of the company
• 40:32
  I work for, like it's part of it's part of my life, and
• 40:37
  it's a big piece of it. And so every once in a while,
• 40:44
  not too often, I will tell you it is not very often. Every
• 40:47
  once in a while I'll see somebody's comment. In the past, it would
• 40:52
  have been a very personal attachment, like I would like take it on and
• 40:58
  get angry about it. Respont you know, you know, you just like,
• 41:02
  wait a minute, why right, and get into it. I'm like,
• 41:07
  hey, there, they have their right to the speak their words and
• 41:10
  their opinion if that's how they're feeling about it, if that's how they're seeing
• 41:15
  it, not how I'm seeing it, And that's not how I was putting
• 41:21
  the information out there, the intent of the information that is shared. So
• 41:28
  it's it's not a personal job. Because I'm not in a space to be
• 41:34
  angry about it. People around me will be, oh, you need you
• 41:38
  need to say this, and you need to take it down, you need
• 41:40
  to block them. I'm like why, because you know what their negative comments
• 41:45
  creates more conversation from other people, not me, from other people, which
• 41:50
  increases the algorithm, which is beneficial. So why take it down? And
• 41:57
  people who agree with them? Great people don't agree with them, There's gonna
• 42:00
  be a whole lot of conversation on their part. I just sit back and
• 42:04
  watch. You want to put that out there, go ahead, but all
• 42:07
  these other people are going to come back and let you know that you could
• 42:14
  change your perspective on this. And we also know, and we don't need
• 42:20
  to go down this avenue, but we also know there are people that are
• 42:23
  just not happy with their life and they want everybody else to be miserable.
• 42:28
  And it's a misery loves company and they want to make as many other people
• 42:31
  as miserable as possible. And if you're not vibing with that, you're not
• 42:37
  going to go down that avenue. You'll see the comment and move on.
• 42:42
  It's not going to keep your attention and you're not going to think about it
• 42:45
  for hours, days, weeks, and months. It's gonna be oh okay,
• 42:51
  move on. Like it sounds so simple. It's so simple. It's
• 42:58
  the story and attachment you have with yourself, with your own history, that
• 43:02
  you're now taking that as a personal job, and it's not it's not it's
• 43:06
  just where that person is with themselves in their life and their story. It's
• 43:12
  a growth opportunity for somebody, right if it's if you're already neutral of it
• 43:15
  for it, then it's an opportunity for somebody else. So I would say
• 43:19
  the same thing, why take it down? Yeah to me, like I
• 43:22
  would, just like we're before I would have said take it down. Before,
• 43:25
  I would have probably taken it down. And now it's like, it's
• 43:29
  an opportunity. You can't have it. You can't let them say anything bad.
• 43:32
  You can't have that bad comment on our feet. I'm like, why
• 43:37
  who's it affecting? And really, on one side of it, those they're
• 43:43
  making themselves look like an ass. People are gonna come back with what they
• 43:46
  have to ship Like, I don't care. It's just like I said,
• 43:52
  it's a growth opportunity. It's all you're there's always the opportunities. Every time
• 43:55
  you see something like that, it's an opportunity and it's being cure serious,
• 44:00
  right, like, why is this showing U from my experience? Why did
• 44:01
  I happen to see that conversation? Oh may maybe I've been that conversation before
• 44:07
  maybe I felt like that's been about me. We're not always one hundred percent
• 44:12
  right on our feelings as far as a lot of that stuff goes. But
• 44:15
  because because our filter on our own system is going through its own hurts and
• 44:21
  its own filter through you know, traumas and stuff like that, some of
• 44:24
  the traumas that we might be receiving information, And just because we received it
• 44:29
  that way doesn't mean that that's the truth. It doesn't mean that that's the
• 44:30
  way it is. It just means that's on our filtration system, that's what
• 44:34
  it's picking up. Yeah, So it's for us to you know, change
• 44:37
  the definitions of words like find what works for you and then not make it.
• 44:42
  It's not good or bad. It's an opportunity. It's like, Nope,
• 44:45
  don't want that. I want that. It's just the simple stuff.
• 44:50
  But that's a practice, right, it's a practice because it's where we have,
• 44:53
  We have traumas withinside of us that makes us, not all of us,
• 44:58
  but makes us want to be right or want to prove our story or
• 45:01
  defend ourselves. And I've always and I haven't always said of it. For
• 45:06
  the longest time, I've said the truth does not have to defend itself.
• 45:08
  The truth just is yeah, there's nothing more it needs to be stated.
• 45:13
  Just like when you say no. No is a complete answer. It's the
• 45:16
  same things. It's the same yep. And you can say if you feel
• 45:23
  like you need to justify it a little bit, you need more after that
• 45:28
  no statement is no, I'm not available. No, thank you. I
• 45:37
  appreciate you asking me, but I'm gona have to decline this time. There's
• 45:40
  other ways to say if you need to say more than just no. Yeah,
• 45:45
  but don't justify no because I have no, because I need to know.
• 45:51
  Because once you start justifying, then people will find a work around and
• 45:55
  then they will quote unquote quote unquote guilt you into it it and you feel
• 46:01
  guilty. Just so you know, nobody can make you feel guilty, but
• 46:06
  they know what button buttons to push to make your cave. Yeah. I'll
• 46:09
  tell you. When I started learning to say no, for me, hardest
• 46:15
  thing to do. It was one of the hardest things to do. Yes,
• 46:19
  they know and and period. No. Inside my internals were like and
• 46:30
  I was trying to my composure. It's like no, it's like breath,
• 46:37
  take a deep breath. Here comes here because you're you're almost expecting something as
• 46:43
  soon as you do it too, right, Oh my god, they got
• 46:45
  com up with something. You get your knuckles, white knuckles on the steering
• 46:47
  wheel. Yeah, here comes, they're gonna say something. Yeah, And
• 46:52
  sometimes I do. And you know what it was great is I teach classes
• 46:58
  at the community college and a lady who's in charge of the programs on the
• 47:02
  end of where the section that I teach under, they have a business series.
• 47:13
  And she asked me, She's like, hey, would you be interested
• 47:15
  in teaching something in our business series? And I kind of was like processing
• 47:23
  in my head and I was taking a breath and I was pausing, and
• 47:28
  and she goes, you know, no kidding. She says, you know,
• 47:32
  I took a class and they were teaching us that if it's not a
• 47:36
  hell yes, then it's a no. Totally let me off the book.
• 47:42
  Totally let me off. And that was just like a year ago. And
• 47:46
  I took a breath and I looked at her and I was like, Okay,
• 47:51
  well then no, I don't feel comfortable with teaching those classes right now
• 47:55
  for now. I had to write that down. Yeah, just because because
• 48:02
  it's so simple, but we ignore it so often. Yep. If it's
• 48:08
  not a hell, yeah, it's a no. And we I have ignored
• 48:12
  myself so often because I try to find my ways to find ways of pleasing
• 48:15
  the other person or not letting them down, not thinking that I'm letting them
• 48:20
  down right, Oh yeah, Or it's a no for now. It doesn't
• 48:25
  mean it's a no forever. It's just a no. Yeah. Just my
• 48:31
  personal perspective perspective on you. Oh my god, you could totally do a
• 48:36
  business couch. You would blow people like, you would give them so much
• 48:38
  information. You would, But I totally. But on the other side of
• 48:43
  that, I know that we have our passions towards things and maybe that's not
• 48:46
  the passion right so, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just because you're
• 48:50
  good at something doesn't mean that's something that you want to do either. So
• 48:52
  there's a lot of lots of recognize in that. And this is and I'm
• 48:58
  not please know, I'm not saying that from an egotistical standpoint. It's something
• 49:01
  I've recognized in myself that when I do something, with exception of a few
• 49:08
  things, when I do something I'm in it and I'm good at it,
• 49:15
  That to me is it. I've had to embrace that and also recognize,
• 49:22
  just like what you just said, just because you're good at it doesn't mean
• 49:23
  you have to do it. And I know when people ask me to do
• 49:30
  something, I know I'll be good at it. I know I can.
• 49:34
  I just I just know that. Like that's awesome. For that confidence to
• 49:37
  be there for one, that's huge. And to be able to say it
• 49:42
  out loud, like to say this and people listening, right, and so
• 49:46
  just know for audience purposes, just no, back thirty twenty years ago,
• 49:52
  I wouldn't have said that out loud. Oh well, she just thinks she's
• 49:57
  all that. Well, yeah, I do now because I believe myself and
• 50:00
  I didn't then. So that's an indicator where I'm at with myself to even
• 50:06
  be able to say that. So when people ask me to do something,
• 50:10
  in my head, I'm like, oh man, I could totally do this.
• 50:13
  It'd be you know. However, my time's pretty valuable right now,
• 50:21
  and I have a lot of fulfilling things happening in my life and it's amazing
• 50:25
  and I'm not upset about it. I'm not overwhelmed about it. I'm not
• 50:30
  resentful about any of it. I'm like, this is really cool. I'm
• 50:34
  having all this stuff. But what I'm also good at right now is time
• 50:37
  management. And that's what I have to do. And when somebody asked me
• 50:39
  to do something that I know I can do and I will be really good
• 50:44
  at it, I have to say no. I think that's awesome. Yeah,
• 50:52
  because if I say yes, now, I'm putting them first in myself
• 50:55
  and people pleasing yep, I want their love and approval. I don't need
• 51:00
  their love and approval. I have that in me and I'm building that every
• 51:04
  single day. And by saying no, I thank you for asking, but
• 51:09
  I just can't right now. That's loving myself and putting myself first and valuing
• 51:16
  the things that it's already that I have going on in my life that I
• 51:19
  need to give time and attention to. That is valuing me. Yeah.
• 51:24
  So giving yourself permission to say no is huge. It is, and I
• 51:32
  understand where you're coming from. And I because I don't think it's egoic either.
• 51:36
  I always know I can do anything. I can do anything anything.
• 51:38
  I mean, really, I could do anything. But it's like, do
• 51:43
  you just nailed it on the head when you said if it's not a hell
• 51:45
  yeah, it's a no yeah. And the thing is just because I can
• 51:49
  doesn't mean that's what I want to do. But you know, on the
• 51:52
  other side of that, because it's like I would, That's what I would
• 51:54
  do all the time. I could do any job. Can you do this?
• 51:57
  Of course I can, and I'll and I'll perfect, I'll do it
• 52:00
  the best way possible that you know. But that's not that's me trying again,
• 52:06
  like you said, it's people pleasing that that's not satisfying me. That's
• 52:09
  not paying attention to my passions, what are my desires? That's me putting
• 52:14
  myself on the back burner again, you know what I mean. And it's
• 52:17
  and it's I've done that for far too long to do continue doing it.
• 52:22
  Not to say that I haven't caught myself a couple of times, but it's
• 52:24
  like, right now, you just give me a different gauge because it should
• 52:29
  be a hell. Yet, the things that we're doing in life shouldn't be
• 52:31
  mundane. Really, we should be finding there's a lot of shoulds I've been
• 52:36
  thrown out there. Life has a lot more to offer us than we've allowed
• 52:39
  it to be. And I feel like it's more positive, more happy.
• 52:45
  Can be a hell of a lot more joyful if we allow ourselves. And
• 52:49
  it's as simple as if it's not a hell yeats So no, it's as
• 52:52
  simple as that. I'll give you a prime example. I've been asked several
• 53:00
  times, are you going to teach cheri yoga again? Because you're really good
• 53:02
  at it? Not my passion. I did it for five years and it
• 53:12
  wasn't my I mean, I enjoyed it. I loved helping people be able
• 53:15
  to move their body and develop balance. And that I know I'm good at
• 53:21
  it. I know I have that gentleness and that compassion and that empathy and
• 53:27
  all the things that goes behind it. It's not my passion right now.
• 53:31
  Maybe it will be in the future. I don't know. Right I don't
• 53:36
  know, but right now my focus is on other things, so my schedule,
• 53:51
  I'm not allowing that to be on my schedule. So it's a no
• 53:54
  for now. Yeah, you know what I do. Let me just finish
• 54:00
  this real quick. What I do is every time somebody asked me that or
• 54:05
  brings it up in conversation, in my mind is perfect person's going to come
• 54:10
  along and teach jer yoga. I like that somebody will somebody will step up
• 54:16
  and do it. That's great. So I like that. I really do
• 54:22
  like that. You've given me a lot of perspective just even I love doing
• 54:27
  massage. I do, but it is not my passion. I can do,
• 54:30
  I can be great at it, and I can connect and I can
• 54:32
  find the best whatever. I can make the best out of it every single
• 54:36
  time, but it's not my passion. Just because I can do it doesn't
• 54:39
  mean it's my passion. Just because I can help quote unquote fix someone's you
• 54:44
  know, physical body or have the conversation with them, is just that part's
• 54:47
  not my passion. It's not my passion, and I don't think it ever
• 54:52
  has been, and I think it was always something and I and that that
• 54:54
  sounds kind of rough to say, but I do love Like I said,
• 54:58
  I do love it, but it's like having it as the passion is a
• 55:00
  different thing because it's not my drive. It's not my drive and my ambition.
• 55:06
  It's not And I could say it's not feeding my soul, but that'd
• 55:09
  be incorrect because there is so many experiences and circumstances that I've had with people
• 55:15
  that have helped It's led into something else and I'm exploring my passion. So
• 55:22
  so here we are. You know, I've been doing massage for ten years
• 55:24
  and that's great, and I hear people talk about doing it for twenty years,
• 55:29
  but well, I was never I'm not a person that's like going to
• 55:30
  retire from it, as you know, as far as this is what I'm
• 55:34
  gonna do for the rest of my life. For me, I'm always I've
• 55:37
  just learned to follow the passions, right I'm That's what I'm learning to do.
• 55:40
  And when I'm sitting here and I realized, oh I could do a
• 55:44
  podcast or I could do something else, I know that's my soul kind of
• 55:47
  moving me forward. I know that meditation is huge if I want other things.
• 55:52
  You know, it's so easy for us to go work at something,
• 55:55
  then for us to go sit in meditation. Yeah, but I revitalize.
• 56:00
  For me, that's my work right now. That's my work. It's for
• 56:01
  me to be in that space and quite my mind as long as I can
• 56:05
  for those few seconds if I'm driving, quiet my mind for those few seconds.
• 56:07
  My focus right now is finding any opportunity that I possibly can to quiet
• 56:14
  down and refocus and connect with loved ones. Because that's the direction I'm being
• 56:17
  pulled in right now. I like how you say that right now stuff,
• 56:22
  because there's a lot of things I'm like, well, I'm following this and
• 56:23
  I'm doing this, and I'm doing this right now. Doesn't mean it's not
• 56:27
  going to change into something else, but right now, this is what's being
• 56:30
  pulling me in that direction. Again, listening to your having awareness and listening
• 56:34
  to what are your passions and that kind of stuff is my excitement. So
• 56:39
  I'm just that's my focus right now. Even my mentor, she said,
• 56:46
  she goes, I have thousands of ideas and she writes every one of them
• 56:50
  down in a notebook. Awesome, thousands of ideas and or over a thousand,
• 56:54
  that's what she said, over a thousand ideas, and I write them
• 56:59
  down and you guys get to see maybe one to ten percent of them,
• 57:04
  meaning her students and her followers, right she said. And there are times
• 57:10
  when I will have an idea and I will start to follow through with it,
• 57:15
  and then at some point something in me again listening to her intuition.
• 57:19
  She's very intuitive and very intuned into what she how she is and feels and
• 57:23
  all the things, and she'll say, I'll be I'll be following the idea
• 57:30
  and getting it, you know, proceeding with it. But then something says
• 57:34
  don't do it, and she won't. She'll stop, she'll do something else.
• 57:39
  And I'm like, that's awesome, because that's the push through, right,
• 57:45
  We're going to push through. We're going to make it happen. We're
• 57:45
  going to do the things and then when it doesn't turn out the way we
• 57:52
  expect it to, now we get into what the hell I'm not good at
• 57:58
  this? And then we just grow right back down that rabbit hole of not
• 58:01
  enoughness, and and she's like, I'll just stop because the energy's not there,
• 58:06
  the drive's not there, the connection's not there, whatever it is,
• 58:09
  or just her guides, you know, her spirit teams saying you need to
• 58:15
  do this instead, and she'll get pulled in a different direction and roll with
• 58:17
  that and it's very successful. So sometimes things like that is just maybe to
• 58:24
  get that creativity flowing for some people. Yeah, and all of it's okay.
• 58:30
  Yeah, And there's divine timing too, right yeah. Yeah. In
• 58:38
  fact, another example example, like I have all these examples so much,
• 58:43
  it has been happening divine timing, So for this big event we had.
• 58:47
  We have an auction committee. In the auction committee's job is to gather items
• 58:52
  for an auction, silent auction, and live auction so we can raise money.
• 58:55
  And it was like a week before the event and they were stressing out,
• 59:01
  a couple of them losing sleep because we didn't have very many auction items.
• 59:06
  When we went in on Friday to set up, they had a lot
• 59:08
  of auction items and We're like, oh my, what was the issue,
• 59:14
  Like, look at all this amazing stuff you had. They go all came
• 59:17
  in this week in the last minute, and so one of the girls I
• 59:23
  looked at her and I said, this is about learning how to have trust
• 59:27
  in faith. And the reason why I said that is because I needed to
• 59:29
  hear it. And I said it several times over this weekend because I needed
• 59:34
  to hear it because I have an event coming up and I'm like, ooh,
• 59:42
  got a lot of seats to fill and right, and I'm like getting
• 59:45
  it, and I'm like, no, trust and faith, trust and faith
• 59:46
  trust and faith trusting is the process of the universe. And I'm just folding
• 59:51
  that vision and then having those conversations this week and telling them this is what
• 59:55
  it's like to have trust in faith. Wasn't for them, it was for
• 59:59
  me. And I was like I heard it and I loved it, and
• 1:00:01
  I was like embracing it. I'm like relaxed into it. Sad Saturday.
• 1:00:10
  Let me think Saturday, four people signed up for my event. Nice.
• 1:00:17
  So I was like, not for them, was for me. So I
• 1:00:22
  bet, come and do this. It's for us, but we get to
• 1:00:25
  share it with you. It's true, you remove the blockage in the dam,
• 1:00:30
  right, you just remove that blockage. We become the blockage and that's
• 1:00:34
  the whole thing. A lot most of the time, all the time,
• 1:00:36
  we're the blockage in that flow, and it's just figuring out where we are
• 1:00:39
  the blockage and that flow. Yep. And if we're always approaching everything asking
• 1:00:45
  like how can I serve? You know, how can I serve for the
• 1:00:47
  greater good? How can I be more supportive? Like I we had a
• 1:00:52
  conversation here at home recently and it's like, how can I be more supportive?
• 1:00:58
  My idea of supportive, which is what how raised was money? Right,
• 1:01:00
  that's the money. Well, there's only so much you can do with
• 1:01:02
  what you got coming in, you know, at any given moment for me
• 1:01:07
  right now. I mean, I've got my stuff taking care of, so
• 1:01:08
  that's being taken care of, but being supportive. And I asked inside of
• 1:01:13
  me, like how can I be more supportive? What does that look like?
• 1:01:15
  And then I started getting different things. It was not what I thought
• 1:01:19
  it was, but it was allowing myself to be open to receiving that information.
• 1:01:22
  It was an opportunity, that's all it was. And another opportunity is
• 1:01:27
  like when I'm sitting and talking to you and you present something to me,
• 1:01:30
  if I'm just quiet and listen and then I allow that intuition to come through
• 1:01:34
  me. And even if you think what advice would I give myself right now?
• 1:01:37
  And then hear what's going to come through you and know that exactly at
• 1:01:42
  that time that advice is for you too. We know that it's for us.
• 1:01:45
  We know that it's for us, just like you just recognize. But
• 1:01:49
  we can play with that even more and recognize, oh that's interesting. How
• 1:01:53
  has this shown up for me? What can I learn from this right now?
• 1:01:55
  How do I show up for this? How can I be joyful in
• 1:01:59
  this regardless of whatever's going on. It's just totally just changing your perspective and
• 1:02:06
  being open because I've got a template, and my template doesn't have all this
• 1:02:08
  other information in it. This beneficial that helps me flow with ease and grace
• 1:02:14
  forward because I've learned struggle and it was easy to be in struggle because that's
• 1:02:17
  what I knew. But it's like, I'm kind of over it. Okay,
• 1:02:21
  So I'm ready for something. I'm ready to feel the rest of the
• 1:02:23
  stuff. How does the rest of the world feel like? How can I
• 1:02:27
  be in the flow whatever? It looks like everything is being taken care of,
• 1:02:30
  but then being that space of appreciation of everything that's being taken care of,
• 1:02:36
  being focusing on those things, knowing that everything is fine today, everything
• 1:02:40
  is fine, Everything is fine this moment. If we can't get past the
• 1:02:45
  whole two, you know, encompass the whole day, it's fine right this
• 1:02:49
  moment, it's great, Right this moment. I'm breathing right this moment.
• 1:02:52
  I'm enjoying myself this moment. Yeah, and always, and then you find
• 1:02:58
  yourself like I'm coming back and time I'm coming back. I signed myself up
• 1:03:01
  already, signed up, I already and I'm already signed up for the next
• 1:03:05
  one, Like okay, let's do it. I go had, but I
• 1:03:07
  want to even have more fun. But being awareness of it, right,
• 1:03:12
  because we can have fun all the time, but our perspectives kind of condemn
• 1:03:15
  that light or it can brighten that light. Well, I've already said several
• 1:03:19
  times I'm setting myself up so the next life is amazing. So I guess
• 1:03:22
  I've already signed myself up to you. So that's right, that's right,
• 1:03:27
  and I don't mind. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's see.
• 1:03:30
  Oh gosh, well it was great. It was a great conversation.
• 1:03:38
  Great, it was great, uh, wonderful conversation. And thank you Bev
• 1:03:44
  for being here. Thank you for sharing your time and energy with us and
• 1:03:49
  having these conversations. And I really appreciate it when we get to do this
• 1:03:53
  each week, it's like our own our own therapy session and getting to talk
• 1:03:58
  things out. And so I appreciate you very much. I appreciate you too,
• 1:04:02
  Thanks, and we appreciate our audience, so we appreciate your time and
• 1:04:10
  energy as well. Time is valuable something we can't get back in this lifetime.
• 1:04:15
  So just choosing to be here with us is an honor to us.
• 1:04:19
  And we appreciate it so much. We also appreciate it when you share us
• 1:04:25
  with your friends and family, because somebody out there also needs to hear it.
• 1:04:28
  So when you see us on social media, when you see the posting
• 1:04:32
  for this episode or any episodes that resonate with you, then you can share
• 1:04:38
  them on social media as well, share the links. You can text people
• 1:04:42
  the links to the videos. I do that very frequently with things that I
• 1:04:46
  listen to, and so share us let other people be aware. And it's
• 1:04:53
  not just us. There's other podcasters or shows that you watch that you resonate
• 1:04:58
  with, and you think of people and you know we're here to help each
• 1:05:02
  other, and that's the thing. We're here to help each other. So
• 1:05:06
  just sharing something is doing your part as well. So thank you for your
• 1:05:12
  time, your energy, your focus, and remember to implement something that resonated
• 1:05:15
  with you from here from this episode, and just go out. My only
• 1:05:21
  ask is go out and do and be better within yourself, for yourself and
• 1:05:26
  in this world. So with that, thank you for hanging out with us
• 1:05:29
  tee time with Amy and Bev, and we will see you next time. Bye,