Latest / Many Things with Steph Libby / Focus, Charlie Sheen, & Accountability

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Focus, Charlie Sheen, & Accountability · Many Things with Steph Libby

Hi everyone.
Welcome back.
Thanks for joining.
I wanted to start off this week by just giving a quick thank you to everyone that has been listening to this podcast.
This is my fourth episode and I am so glad that anybody really is listening to it at all, and I hope you're getting something out of it.
I.
Wanna take a minute to just sort of reflect on something that I think relates to, what was my word of the week for this past week, which was focus.
I have been so inconsistent in so many parts of my life and when I started this podcast, it was really, I mean, it's very self-serving.
It's just me gabbing, but I wanted to create a space for myself where I could talk about the things that were on my mind, talk about my healing journey, talk about how I'm living more mindfully, more in with more intention, and really building the life that I really want for myself.
As part of focus this week, I have really taken some time to reflect about the consistency that I've been building in creating this podcast and posting.
I've tried a lot of different creative endeavors, and I can never finish anything.
I'm always afraid of finishing.
I was thinking this week, how, this is my fourth episode and I've actually been able to commit to it, which is pretty new for me, and I'm really proud of that.
That in and of itself, just to me, shows progress, that I'm moving forward and making good decisions committing to not just the podcast, but to myself.
I've tried to start other podcasts and other creative endeavors, and I've gotten absolutely nowhere.
Like I, I always get stuck in this really exciting ideation phase.
There's this joke in the writing world about.
Whenever you ask someone what they're working on and they just say, oh, I'm just in the research phase, and that basically means that like they have no intention of writing anything or they're scared to get started and put words to paper.
And so they're just, constantly researching, doing background and all that.
I felt like that for a very long time with anything that I've tried to sit down and focus on and do.
I consider myself to be a very creative person, but when I actually have to sit down and focus and do things, it feels like such a burden.
It feels time consuming.
It feels stressful.
It feels like I'm just trying to check off a box and my heart isn't really in it.
There's something about it that doesn't feel quite right.
So with being able to do this podcast, it has created a consistency that I haven't really seen in myself in a very long time.
So that's felt really good it has, let me forgive myself honestly a bit.
I know I'm only at week four at least it could change at any moment.
I could decide next week that I am not po posting again, and that this podcast is done and I'm over it.
But I mean, I don't really see that happening.
But for right now, the consistency I've been building in this last month has allowed me to sort of let go of some of the frustrations that I felt with myself in the past for not following through on things.
It has proven to myself that I can commit, that I can follow through, that I can be passionate about something.
It just has to be the right thing.
And I was reading, there was someone who posted something on Instagram this week, and I can't remember who it was, but.
They were posting a lot about all the past failures in their life and how it's sort of brought them to this moment and the thing that they're, you know, focusing in on now and doing, and for them it was content creation, but.
They've had relationships that have failed, but that helped them learn about communication and about themselves.
That they've had jobs that have failed, but that has helped them build the skills that they need to sustain, what is now a business, an income.
It just reminded me that sometimes you have to Reflect on a good thing that's happening and let that sort of heal all the things that you think you didn't do well or you could have done better.
I'm someone who's super hard on myself.
I've always been hard on myself.
My parents were really hard on me.
They just expected a lot.
And in return, I've always expected a lot for myself and I've.
I put a lot of pressure on myself, especially in relationships and work and creative endeavors, and this podcast has been really healing in a lot of ways.
So thank you for listening.
I know that there are some things that I am trying to figure out and learn and get better at.
So I know that the music isn't quite right.
I am not sure that I'm using the right kind of microphone.
I am still learning how to edit.
So there's still and I realize that the quality of the audio could probably be better.
So bear with me.
I am learning and.
I'm trying to improve it a little bit each week so thank you for that.
Also on the topic of focus, I had touched on last week about.
Me pursuing my project management professional certification, my PMP certification, and I have, you know, tie into my word of the week for focus.
I have really been trying to.
Buckle in, settle into the study.
The studying for the test and the refresh and being consistent.
So I am glad to say that I have been making more time for it than I have in the past.
That I have really tried to sit with myself and figure out like, what is it that I'm really afraid of? And I think I realized that I'm not actually afraid of taking the test.
I mean, I'm a little afraid that I don't know some of the material, but I know that's the solvable part.
That's frankly probably the easiest part of it all, you know, is just keep studying.
Then you know that's the answer.
There's really, I want there to be a different answer, but the answer is very simple.
It's just keep studying, find different ways to study.
There's something about the way you're studying now that isn't working for you and working for the way my brain works or working for the amount of energy that I have at the end of the day, and I was able to finally crack the code on that a little bit.
So that has felt really good.
I've kind of forced myself to take a step back and study in a different way, in a way that might feel more rudimentary than I thought might be helpful for preparing for this monstrous test.
But it has actually helped I think, quite a bit.
So that has.
Kind of boosted my positive feelings a little bit around it and the positivity I think was also when I talk about like, why am I really scared to take this test? Yes, the content, obviously you have to know the content in order to do well, obviously.
Besides that 'cause a test is just a test.
A test is just content, right? It's just a know, it's just testing knowledge.
So why am I so scared of this test? Why am I putting so much weight on this test? And as I was studying for it, I realized, okay, it's not, the material's overwhelming, but that's not really, that's not really, why I've been avoiding it.
I been feeling lost in terms of my career and knowing what I wanna do and how taking this test does anything better than help make ends meet.
I was thinking this week, and this could always change, but the thing I was coming back to a lot this week when I was thinking about the certification was.
Maybe it is just a way to make ends meet.
Maybe that it doesn't have to be the end all be all.
I don't have to stay a project manager for the rest of my life, but the test can help me achieve some shorter term goals that can help me have long-term success.
So I can take this test.
I could open up more doors for other places to work, other fields to work in.
It could help me make more money, which would help alleviate.
A little bit of the financial stress that I'm feeling right now, especially as a single person trying to support herself in a economy that is constantly shifting and constantly feels like you can't quite get your footing despite your best efforts.
So that was kind of eyeopening.
It's okay to.
Not be okay with something that's going on in your life if it's helping you achieve something different down the road.
I've been thinking about that a lot and that has sort of helped me shift my thinking around this test and made it not seem quite so overwhelming.
I was putting a lot of pressure on this test that.
My whole life revolved around this test and my wellbeing revolved around this test and it's just been helpful to keep the compartmentalized a bit like the test at, this is the test.
My career is my career and my, I still have plenty of time to figure out what my future is, but while I'm trying to figure out what my future is and while I'm trying to make time for the things that I really want, once I identify what I want for my future.
I can still do things today that might not bring me the most joy, that Seth doesn't bring me joy.
Being a project manager doesn't necessarily bring me joy, but the things that I get from having a stable job, a stable income, being self-sufficient, being financially independent having a little extra money, being able to save up and maybe take that dream trip that I've always wanted to take, being able to maybe make some more money.
Not everything that you do and put time towards has to be something that you absolutely a hundred percent love.
And that might be controversial for some people, but I believe that doing things you don't like doing things that aren't a hundred percent joyful can provide you the things that you need in order to create more joy.
I can save up for that trip to Iceland that I've always wanted to do.
I can save up to, fix my house in the way that makes me feel comfortable in it.
So anyway, so I've been reframing my mindset around the test has been really helpful and reframing my thought process around, sometimes you just gotta do things you don't wanna do because it's gonna help you get to a place where you wanna be.
And that has, that's been on my mind a lot this week.
The other thing with focus that has been helpful is this might be more tangentially related to it, but I have been reading every Night before Bed, and that's been a habit that I used to do a lot of before I was in a, when I was single and.
And prior to this like last relationship I used to read in bed for an hour and a half every single night, it helped me cool down at the end of the day.
It helped me relax.
It helped me drift into sleep.
When I read at night, I just have better sleep.
So I've been getting back into that habit slowly but surely.
And that has been really nice and it's allowed me to kind of wake up in the morning feeling more refreshed.
That has helped me keep my focus at work.
reading at night has also helped me not doom scroll on my phone and give me a little bit break from the madness of society and politics and culture and.
So much negativity and hate, and it's, you have to be aware of that to an extent, obviously, because how can you create change if you're not aware of what's going on? But also it's like you can't, I can't be subjecting myself to just bucket loads of hate and divisiveness.
At 1130 at night when I'm trying to go to bed, like I just, I have to six p six to 7:00 PM Sure.
6:00 AM to 7:00 AM before I start my day.
Okay.
But I can't handle just, that's all I'm viewing right before I go to bed.
It just, my mind starts worrying.
I get on a hamster wheel and I can't get off, and then I'm, you know, up till 2:00 AM and I can't get to sleep.
So that is something like part of this whole journey is.
Really being able to think about what do I need today? What's gonna help me show up for other people? What's gonna help me show up to my job better? What's gonna help me show up for myself better? What's gonna help me show up for my friends, my family, my community better? So sometimes you have to make decisions that maybe don't feel good in the moment, but they help you refocus your energy in better, more conducive, more positive ways.
Taking a hard left into Recommendation Corner.
I.
I wanna recommend the I la I got so pulled into this documentary last night.
It's a two part docuseries.
It's on Netflix.
I'm sure everyone is already watching it, but it's AKA Charlie Sheen.
Now I'm gonna tell you why I'm recommending it because regardless, I am not really like a Charlie Sheen fan.
I did not watch two and a Half Men.
I couldn't stand the show.
I don't know that I've really seen.
Many of the movies he's been in.
I love Denise Richards.
I'm a huge Denise Richards fan.
But I mean, I don't really have an opinion about Charlie Sheen either way, but I do remember when I was, you know, 10 years ago when he was sort of going through a lot of his, when he was going through a lot of his heavy drug use, going viral, sleeping with porn stars, all that kind of craziness, I remember that was like very consuming.
It was a piece of the culture that, of the time that I'd really forgotten until this documentary came out.
But anyways, I'm recommending this documentary regardless of how you feel about Charlie Sheen, I think there is something so amazing.
Beautiful about anyone who is willing to lay their truth out there and take accountability and responsibility for their actions and the way they, the way that they've impacted people to speak honestly about their experiences.
Does Charlie Sheen have a bit of an ego still? Obviously he's a celebrity.
I think they all just have to, is he a bit of a narcissist? Yeah, he's making a documentary about himself.
And regardless of how you feel about Charlie Sheen, I mean personally, like he has a personality type and a way of speaking that just feels like nails on a chalkboard to me.
But I.
Really appreciated how much he kind of laid himself bare on camera and like really nothing was really off limits.
It really made me think about accountability as a whole outside of this Charlie Sheen documentary, but just about accountability as a whole.
And I think we tend to.
I should say I tend to, a lot of times I'm very guilty of judging someone's accountability, of how much accountability they've really taken in any given moment.
sometimes when people apologize to you or.
They try to explain the way that they've thought about something or why they've done something and, you know, they're attempting to take accountability to some degree.
I think we always, I would always have a problem with the degree to which they took accountability.
You know, if I had to put a percentage on it, it'd be like this person really only took 70% accountability for the issue, whereas the other 30%, and I realized that.
Accountability to me is something that is a long-term progressive thing.
Like I don't know that you can take full accountability of every situation, every single time, and you're never gonna take accountability for something.
That pleases the other person a hundred percent.
There's always gonna be something they can nitpick at or something you didn't phrase right? Or you know, you take accountability for something and maybe you like repeat that behavior unknowingly to a different degree later on.
And that makes people feel like, okay, what happened to all this accountability? I've learned that accountability in my experience is something that is continual and progressive, and that whether someone's trying to be accountable for their actions or I'm trying to be accountable for my own action, I can try to be accountable for what I can be accountable for today but as I reflect more and have more experiences and read more and learn more about myself.
I can take more accountability for things that I've tried to take accountability for in the past and take more accountability for it today.
So I think it's about giving yourself and giving other people some grace.
So did Charlie Sheen come off kind of still kind of like an asshole? Yeah.
Did he come across as like a remorseful asshole? Yeah, and I think that's an important distinction and I think.
He definitely seems like someone who still has stuff to learn and he is still working through stuff, but you gotta give a person credit for showing up and being truthful and trying to be honest and trying to let you into how they're thinking.
So I highly recommend.
It was really interesting to learn about him and his family dynamic and if you like docuseries that aren't necessarily like true crime, I think that this was like a really good one.
It like, was really insightful.
If you love like a celebrity documentary, I found it like really fascinating.
There's two parts so it's a little long, but honestly, like I blew through them in one night.
Like I was surprised.
I really, I sat down and I was like, I'm gonna watch one episode and go to bed, but I didn't.
I stayed up for both of them and I found it really fascinating and.
I think we could learn a lot from people regardless of who they are, whether they're a celebrity, your average Joe, whether it's through a memoir or a documentary, or just a blog or a post, or even just like an Instagram reel.
I feel like.
Our culture can be very negative and sometimes it's just you gotta see the positive in what people are doing.
Like someone's, no one's ever gonna do stuff to your satisfaction.
There's just no way.
They're not in your head.
They're not you.
You have to accept what they're willing to give and acknowledge that, like that's what they're able to give at that time.
And that's a hard thing to do.
I am no expert at it by any means.
So I highly recommend that.
Let me know what you think.
Let me know what you think of Charlie.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm completely wrong, and I'm just feeling very generous and giving lots of people that I don't know and have never interacted with.
Grace.
On that note, I realized I'm coming up to 25 ish minutes and I haven't talked about what my next word of the week is gonna be.
What am I thinking about this week? So the word that keeps coming back to me, and I think a little bit of this Charlie Sheen rant that I went on I think a lot of it does come back to.
Gratitude.
So I think gratitude is gonna be my word of the week.
It's gonna be what I'm gonna be thinking about this week, and when I think of gratitude going into this week, I have a really hard time.
Being thankful.
I'm always, instead of being present and thinking about what I have, I'm always thinking about what's next? What I'm, what do I need to get tomorrow? What do I need to achieve tomorrow? What do I need someone to do for me to this week? What you know? So I think gratitude would be a good one to really ruminate on this week and really put into practice a little bit, I like to think of myself as a gracious, thankful person, but I am bad at practicing gratitude.
I'm really bad at waking up in the morning and saying, what's good about today? How am I gonna make today good? What do I have that I don't acknowledge being a privilege or being important or.
Something maybe I take for granted every day that I just don't think about.
And being more mindful of the things that I do have versus focusing on the things that I don't have.
So whether that's spiritual.
So yeah, gratitude is an important one.
So I'm looking forward to thinking about gratitude, thinking about I know I've heard some people like refer to as being grateful for like the abundance you already have in your life and things like that.
So I'm looking forward to, and something about gratitude is just the word itself just kind of makes me feel joyful and makes me feel.
Obviously because gratitude is, I think, you know, obviously leans positive, but there's something in just the concept of it, just thinking about gratitude without putting an actual, you know, without identifying the things that I'm even grateful yet.
Just.
Put you in a positive mindset.
So I'm excited to focus on gratitude this week.
I hope you are taking the journey with me.
I hope that you're practicing some of these words of the week and finding space in your life for them.
Again, like I would love to know what these words mean to you.
What.
Things you're learning along the way and always let me know about my recommendations, like how you feel about them.
So you can find me on Instagram at Solitary Creature Pod.
Send me a dm, let me know what you're thinking about, how your week's going, a and we will chat next week.
Okay? Thanks everyone.
Bye.