Latest / If I Knew Then What I Know Now / Episode 8 | SEX IN MARRIAGE

Transcript

Episode 8 | SEX IN MARRIAGE · If I Knew Then What I Know Now

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Up hit record, pull up a chair, or we got a story.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: Johnny's right there.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: Two mics, one table, the same old town.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: Laughing at the way it all shook down.
1:06
SPEAKER_02: Yes, sir, we back.
1:11
SPEAKER_02: Let's get it.
1:12
SPEAKER_02: Hey, man.
1:16
SPEAKER_02: Becoming a little different, man.
1:17
SPEAKER_02: Hey, man.
1:17
SPEAKER_02: It's Corey Davis, man.
1:18
SPEAKER_02: It's Corey with a C Core with the E Dig Me.
1:20
SPEAKER_02: Stay there.
1:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this is your boy Johnny Gladdy, Mr.
1:22
SPEAKER_02: Gladdy Photography, Mr.
1:24
SPEAKER_02: Cardio.
1:24
SPEAKER_02: Let's get it.
1:25
SPEAKER_02: What's up, my boy?
1:27
SPEAKER_01: Episode.
1:28
SPEAKER_01: Hey, man.
1:30
SPEAKER_02: Behind the camera, behind the scenes.
1:34
SPEAKER_02: Hey, we got a real good special episode, y'all, man.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
1:38
SPEAKER_02: We switching it up a little bit, talking about a little, you know what I'm saying?
1:41
SPEAKER_02: Something a little intimate, something a little personal, you know.
1:43
SPEAKER_02: Intimate.
1:43
SPEAKER_02: Something people don't really want to talk on.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: Definitely, definitely one of them taboo type subjects.
1:47
SPEAKER_02: But we're speaking on today, bro.
1:49
SPEAKER_02: They always shame about it, but you know what I'm saying?
1:51
SPEAKER_02: Us being three married men, you know, three beautiful wives.
1:55
SPEAKER_02: Shout out to our wives.
1:56
SPEAKER_02: Shout out to my wife.
1:59
SPEAKER_02: We want to talk to you guys today about sex in marriage.
2:04
SPEAKER_02: Sex in marriage.
2:07
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
2:08
SPEAKER_02: Hey, man.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: If I knew then.
2:10
SPEAKER_02: What I know now.
2:11
SPEAKER_02: The podcast.
2:12
SPEAKER_02: The podcast, episode eight, man.
2:13
SPEAKER_02: Sex in marriage, man.
2:14
SPEAKER_02: How we finna start this thing out, man.
2:16
SPEAKER_02: What is.
2:17
SPEAKER_02: Hey.
2:18
SPEAKER_02: This is a real deal topic, man.
2:20
SPEAKER_02: Like when you a married man.
2:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: And you think about clapping cheeks.
2:28
unknown: I know I should've put it on it.
2:30
SPEAKER_02: You should have put it on there.
2:31
SPEAKER_02: You should have put it on.
2:32
SPEAKER_02: You should have put it on there.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: This is for you.
2:34
SPEAKER_02: This episode is for you.
2:35
SPEAKER_02: Hey.
2:35
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
2:36
SPEAKER_02: Nah, man.
2:36
SPEAKER_02: This episode is gonna be for folks struggling with it.
2:39
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: This is gonna be for folks that's not struggling with it.
2:42
SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
2:43
SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be folks.
2:44
SPEAKER_02: This episode is for folks who might have lost their fire.
2:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:47
SPEAKER_02: Trying to get it back.
2:47
SPEAKER_02: You're trying to re-kindle it.
2:48
SPEAKER_02: You trying to reflame it.
2:50
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
2:50
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna give y'all some tips and some tricks and some pointers.
2:53
SPEAKER_02: Not in the bedroom.
2:55
SPEAKER_02: But you know, to get in the bedroom.
2:57
SPEAKER_02: If that makes sense.
2:58
SPEAKER_02: Come on, somebody.
2:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, come on, somebody.
2:59
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
3:00
SPEAKER_02: That makes the perfect sense, anyway.
3:01
SPEAKER_02: But man, the JC marriage, man.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: It's such a a big thing, man, because you talk to so many different people who have you got you got marriages who have a successful, healthy sexual life.
3:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:15
SPEAKER_02: And then you have marriages who struggle a little bit.
3:18
SPEAKER_02: And a lot of times, you know, you got different things like life or kids or world life balance.
3:24
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm trying to say that can sometimes, you know, mess up the missile the groove.
3:28
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
3:29
SPEAKER_02: Because let's be real, you know, sex is a beautiful thing.
3:31
SPEAKER_02: And I and I feel like as married, as married couples, um, we should honor each other.
3:35
SPEAKER_02: You know, like God honors marriage.
3:36
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
3:36
SPEAKER_02: We should honor each other in sex too.
3:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:38
SPEAKER_02: But we do understand that sometimes life, you know, we get busy, so that's why some people struggle with it.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: But man, I'm on the side of like, you know, when I think about six, six, six, I can't get it out.
3:47
SPEAKER_02: What am I saying?
3:48
SPEAKER_02: Hey, that boy, hey.
3:49
SPEAKER_02: Hey, hey, Google some type of speech therapy.
3:52
SPEAKER_02: Hey.
3:52
SPEAKER_02: Because at this point, Johnny help.
3:54
SPEAKER_02: This is episode eight.
3:55
SPEAKER_02: Hey, my boy be speaking the tongue every other.
3:58
SPEAKER_02: Get a little nervous, man.
3:59
SPEAKER_02: Get a little nervous, man.
4:00
SPEAKER_02: Now I've been understanding, man.
4:01
SPEAKER_02: But um, when I think about it, man, it's like one of the things that like we gotta make sure we keep up.
4:07
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
4:08
SPEAKER_02: We gotta make sure that we don't let that part of our relationship die.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be real, like, sometimes I'm the reason the flame might die down.
4:25
SPEAKER_02: Or I'm the reason why it'll might lose its spark.
4:27
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
4:28
SPEAKER_02: Because I'm human at the end of the day.
4:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:29
SPEAKER_02: But I also feel like folks have like an unrealistic expectation about sex.
4:35
SPEAKER_02: In general, going into it.
4:37
SPEAKER_02: So I'm young, right?
4:38
SPEAKER_02: I'm getting married.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: I got married when I was 23.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: Just turned 24.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
4:42
SPEAKER_02: I wasn't I wasn't the type of person that was out here just sleeping with a whole bunch of women and all type of stuff like that.
4:46
SPEAKER_02: You know, so I'm going into it with a young mindset.
4:50
SPEAKER_02: I'm going into it with a probably like a different mindset than somebody who might have been, who might have grew up just hitting a whole bunch of different girls, right?
4:57
SPEAKER_02: So my my mindset going into marriage and when it came to sex was was kind of like was kind of like some booty.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: But look, though, it really was on some.
5:08
SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking, this may be all the time.
5:11
SPEAKER_02: Whenever I want it.
5:12
SPEAKER_02: However I want it.
5:14
SPEAKER_02: That's how you go in.
5:14
SPEAKER_02: You might think of thoughts like that.
5:18
SPEAKER_02: But then reality hits you.
5:19
SPEAKER_02: Reality hit.
5:20
SPEAKER_02: Oh, she gotta go up and go to work just like I do.
5:22
SPEAKER_02: Oh, darn, but a house dirty.
5:25
SPEAKER_02: Somebody gotta clean it.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: That requires energy and exerts energy.
5:28
SPEAKER_02: Oh, see, she gets sleepy and tired just like I do.
5:31
SPEAKER_02: She be wanna take naps just like I do.
5:32
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
5:33
SPEAKER_02: And then that's when reality starts to sit in, you start to have a more of a realistic expectation about sex and marriage, versus possibly starting off with an unreal, unrealistic expectation, on real on God.
5:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
5:45
SPEAKER_02: Like see how to Lord a move.
5:48
SPEAKER_02: See how the Lord for rubbing, rubbing off on me.
5:51
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
5:52
SPEAKER_02: Um, so basically, you know what I'm saying?
5:54
SPEAKER_02: And I and I agree I agree with you on that, bro, because we a lot of times we have uh uh unrealistic um goals when it comes, you know, when it comes to marriage.
6:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:03
SPEAKER_02: But we can't, we one thing we gotta understand is even though life does get in the way, we can't use that as the excuse not to make sure our partners are happy.
6:13
SPEAKER_02: Because it takes it takes effort, you know what I'm trying to say, and and and from both ends, because you got you got a lot of people doing different things.
6:19
SPEAKER_02: You might have businesses, she may have work, she got a lot of different things she may be doing.
6:23
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
6:24
SPEAKER_02: You gotta you gotta take that effort and that time to say, okay, look, I gotta make sure I get that to you.
6:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fact.
6:30
SPEAKER_02: Because if I don't give that to you, there's gonna be you know, that's how the enemy step in for real.
6:36
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
6:37
SPEAKER_02: A lot of things that, you know, when we're not intimate with our spouse, we're not really attentive to the needs of our spouse when it comes to sexual, because sexual is a deeper, it's more of a deeper level connection.
6:47
SPEAKER_02: So you're not you're not only connecting physically, but you're emotionally.
6:51
SPEAKER_02: Spiritually.
6:52
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
6:53
SPEAKER_02: You need you need your partner for that release, whether whether whether whether it does it for them spiritually, mentally, emotionally, you need that partner for their release.
7:01
SPEAKER_02: It creates a safety place.
7:03
SPEAKER_02: You know, release the boy crazy.
7:06
SPEAKER_02: Need their release.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: Wait, that he's gonna be able to do that.
7:09
SPEAKER_02: But nah, but look, I'm gonna I'm gonna give y'all I'm gonna give y'all some real game and I'm gonna give y'all some insight um about my personal life.
7:16
SPEAKER_02: Um so love language is is real.
7:21
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so this right now, who what I'm who I'm about to be speaking to, I'm speaking to the couple, the man or the woman, who might be wanting to be more intimate with their partner, uh-huh, but it's really not happening.
7:34
SPEAKER_02: And you trying to figure out why.
7:36
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you might be communicating a little bit here and there, maybe you might not be.
7:39
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna tell you one thing that really, really helped me within my marriage on this aspect.
7:45
SPEAKER_02: So, love languages is real.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: So if you don't know what love languages is good on way, Google love languages real quick.
7:50
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna go down and list a couple of them.
7:52
SPEAKER_02: But love languages love languages are real.
7:55
SPEAKER_02: I think my wife probably won't put me on to the to the love languages.
7:58
SPEAKER_02: But number one, identify your love language and identify your partner's love language.
8:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: I was gonna say that first.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: You guys want what you like too?
8:07
SPEAKER_02: You need to identify what you like and identify what she likes.
8:10
SPEAKER_02: What's the love language, Wade?
8:12
SPEAKER_02: What's going on, y'all?
8:12
SPEAKER_02: Word of affirmation.
8:13
SPEAKER_02: Word of affirmation.
8:14
SPEAKER_02: You feel most love when receiving verbal compliments, words of appreciation and encouraging message.
8:23
SPEAKER_02: Let them be great, man.
8:25
SPEAKER_02: Alright, words of affirmation.
8:29
SPEAKER_02: I'm sitting two feet from still be trying to figure out what this nigga's saying.
8:33
SPEAKER_02: Words of affirmation.
8:34
SPEAKER_02: Words of affirmation.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: Words of affirmation is basically physical touch.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: So words of affirmation is basically what?
8:41
SPEAKER_02: Like you complimenting your partner.
8:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:45
SPEAKER_02: It's being able to.
8:46
SPEAKER_02: It's being encouraging.
8:47
SPEAKER_02: Being encouraging.
8:48
SPEAKER_02: And to affirm them.
8:49
SPEAKER_02: And to affirm them.
8:50
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
8:51
SPEAKER_02: Basically, you're hyping them up, boosting them up, making them feel confident.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's a deeper, it's a deeper pour, bro.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: And I believe that, you know, we'll and we'll go, you know, we'll go down the road each one on them, bro.
9:00
SPEAKER_02: But I believe when we have those words and affirmation, if that's your thing, you know, it's something like what?
9:07
SPEAKER_02: They can turn you on right up.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: Just saying the right words.
9:09
SPEAKER_02: Saying the right word at the right moment.
9:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh my God.
9:14
SPEAKER_02: Oh my God.
9:16
SPEAKER_02: Hey, because you know, certain things.
9:21
SPEAKER_02: I think she just said that.
9:23
SPEAKER_02: I think words of affirmation is good for both men and women, because a lot of women are just emotional, anyways.
9:28
SPEAKER_02: They like to be poured into.
9:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
9:29
SPEAKER_02: And then you got people who are like a more of an emotional side male, like myself, who I like words of affirmation.
9:34
SPEAKER_02: I like to be able to, you know, a woman can say something to me there, you know what I'm saying?
9:37
SPEAKER_02: They'd be so sexy, but you want to throw over the counter.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: And pop.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: And do what?
9:41
unknown: Pop, pop, pop, pop.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God.
9:47
SPEAKER_02: Words of affirmation is big, man.
9:49
unknown: Hallelujah.
9:49
SPEAKER_02: Word of affirmation is big.
9:50
SPEAKER_02: What's the next one?
9:51
SPEAKER_02: Glory to God.
9:52
SPEAKER_02: What's the next one?
9:52
SPEAKER_02: We thank you.
9:53
SPEAKER_02: Quality.
9:55
SPEAKER_02: Quality time.
9:56
SPEAKER_02: Quality time.
9:57
SPEAKER_02: That's my wife's love language.
9:58
SPEAKER_02: You value undivided intention.
10:01
SPEAKER_02: That's my meaning.
10:02
SPEAKER_02: Go ahead, my bad.
10:03
SPEAKER_02: Quality time.
10:05
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, wait.
10:05
SPEAKER_02: Go ahead, wait.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: Go ahead and read, man.
10:07
SPEAKER_02: Leave him alone, bro.
10:08
SPEAKER_02: Johnny, you're the only one still talking.
10:10
SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: Meaningful conversations and uninterrupted time spent together.
10:17
SPEAKER_02: Meaningful conversations and uninterrupted time spent together.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: That's be it.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: You hear that?
10:22
SPEAKER_02: We need to speak on kids and during this whole quality time because kids can.
10:27
SPEAKER_02: Quality time is going to be interrupted.
10:31
SPEAKER_02: Alright?
10:31
SPEAKER_02: So hear what the love language is.
10:34
SPEAKER_02: Not just what the name is, hear what the definition of him is too, because that's going to be key to fulfilling it and actually meeting the requirement.
10:41
SPEAKER_02: And quality time that's uninterrupted.
10:44
SPEAKER_02: Put your phone down.
10:44
SPEAKER_02: It's huge.
10:45
SPEAKER_02: It's huge.
10:46
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
10:46
SPEAKER_02: Put your phone down.
10:47
SPEAKER_02: Actually plan a date.
10:49
SPEAKER_02: And be intentional about the time that you look him in his eyes and talk to him and actually have a conversation.
10:55
SPEAKER_02: How many times y'all go to restaurants or y'all see that?
10:57
SPEAKER_02: I was just about to say that.
10:58
SPEAKER_02: Just sitting there at their phone.
11:00
SPEAKER_02: I ain't looking.
11:00
SPEAKER_02: Not even looking at it.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: I be looking at them like, ah, darn.
11:03
SPEAKER_02: I be starting to claw.
11:03
SPEAKER_02: Like, how long are they going to be doing this?
11:05
SPEAKER_02: Well, they're not talking too good at all.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: I was just about to say that, man, because a lot of people don't.
11:09
SPEAKER_02: And that's why you got to be intentional about the time, whether it's at home, like you said, whether you're on the, you know, in the grocery store.
11:14
SPEAKER_02: Whatever y'all decide to do together that y'all enjoy doing.
11:17
SPEAKER_02: And you make sure that you give time to your partner because there's so much stuff that you got in the uh in the daytime, like we said before, all these distractions and things you do that pull you away from your spouse.
11:26
SPEAKER_02: And like Wade was talking about earlier, kids is huge.
11:29
SPEAKER_02: Huge when you have kids, man, it's like That's gonna make it harder.
11:32
SPEAKER_02: Bro, why you think so many people be they they'll stay together?
11:36
SPEAKER_02: And I I don't hope I ain't talking about nobody.
11:39
SPEAKER_02: But I know a lot of, I mean, you know, a lot of people have done this.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:42
SPEAKER_02: They stay together for the sake of the kid.
11:43
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
11:43
SPEAKER_02: But they're not really spending quality time together, they're not really growing together.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: They'll, you know, they're wasting their time.
11:48
SPEAKER_02: And as soon as the kids go to college, they go off to school, they split.
11:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:51
SPEAKER_02: That's what they've been wanting to do the whole time.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: Bro, that's what that's what that's what separation does, bro.
11:55
SPEAKER_02: It pulls us apart from each other.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm trying to say?
11:57
SPEAKER_02: And so it's like when you're spending that quality time, you have that more, you're more intentional with your spouse, you're more sensitive and connected with your spouse, and I think that really drives a strong sexual relationship.
12:08
SPEAKER_02: Facts.
12:09
SPEAKER_02: It does.
12:09
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm trying to say?
12:10
SPEAKER_02: It do.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: Alright, we'll set up the quality time, wait.
12:12
SPEAKER_02: Receiving gifts.
12:14
SPEAKER_02: You feel cherished throughout through through thoughtful tokens, physical reminders, and effort put into selecting a gift.
12:22
SPEAKER_02: Thank God my wife ain't doing it.
12:24
SPEAKER_02: It ain't her love language.
12:25
SPEAKER_02: That's that sounds like a high maintenance woman right there.
12:28
SPEAKER_02: Receiving gifts is like, well, you gotta make it.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: It can be hair.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god!
12:45
SPEAKER_02: We have just entered a 21 and older chat part of the video.
12:49
SPEAKER_02: If you're not 21, please log off to the channel.
12:51
SPEAKER_02: Please log off right now.
12:52
SPEAKER_02: Right now.
12:52
SPEAKER_02: Please.
12:53
SPEAKER_02: Nah, but but he right.
12:56
SPEAKER_02: If that's what they want as a gift, if that's what they want as a gift, that is a gift.
13:02
SPEAKER_02: That is a gift.
13:04
SPEAKER_02: I'm about to say my little like.
13:11
SPEAKER_02: But nah.
13:12
SPEAKER_02: Okay, this is a giveaway.
13:16
SPEAKER_02: Acts of service.
13:17
SPEAKER_02: That's my giveaway.
13:18
SPEAKER_02: You appreciate when someone eases your daily burdens by doing helpful tasks without being asked.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: Acts of service.
13:27
SPEAKER_02: You're doing something for them.
13:28
SPEAKER_02: You're taking the load off for them.
13:29
SPEAKER_02: Now, what's the last one?
13:34
SPEAKER_02: Well, it was funny, man.
13:36
SPEAKER_02: What's the last one?
13:37
SPEAKER_02: Taking the load gonna buy everything this episode, bro.
13:43
SPEAKER_02: Everything gonna be gonna be a big one.
13:45
SPEAKER_02: I just got it.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Taking the load.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: Boy, you crazy, boy.
13:54
SPEAKER_02: Physical touch.
13:55
SPEAKER_02: We said physical already.
13:57
SPEAKER_02: No, you didn't.
13:58
SPEAKER_02: You mentioned it, but you can't.
13:59
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I mean, I'll catch you.
14:01
SPEAKER_02: Physical touch.
14:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:02
SPEAKER_02: Most.
14:04
SPEAKER_02: Can he talk?
14:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:06
SPEAKER_02: Johnny, can he talk?
14:07
SPEAKER_02: He can talk.
14:08
SPEAKER_02: Close your mouth.
14:08
SPEAKER_02: You remember that when I was trying to talk and you want to talk?
14:14
SPEAKER_02: Physical touch.
14:15
SPEAKER_02: You feel most connected through nonverbal physical intimacy, such as holding hands, hugging, or kissing.
14:22
SPEAKER_02: This is mine.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: Bam.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: I like that.
14:24
SPEAKER_02: So boom.
14:24
SPEAKER_02: Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
14:30
SPEAKER_02: So back to what we why we even brought all this up.
14:33
SPEAKER_02: You got five different love languages, right?
14:36
SPEAKER_02: You need to identify what yours is, and you need to identify what your partner's is.
14:40
SPEAKER_02: Why?
14:41
SPEAKER_02: Because that's going to allow you to get into the bedroom more and easier.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: And it's not gonna feel like a chore, it's not gonna feel like you're trying to pull a TV, it's not gonna feel like it's just another one of these things.
14:52
SPEAKER_02: Because both of y'all's needs are being met.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: Like I was saying about the issue with me personally, I remember having conversations with my wife just on some like feeling like my needs ain't being met.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: When the whole time she expressing her needs not being met.
15:07
SPEAKER_02: And it's like I was looking at it from a selfish standpoint, I was on, this is what I want, this what I want, this is what I want.
15:14
SPEAKER_02: But the whole time, I'm not really considering what she needs.
15:17
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
15:18
SPEAKER_02: So when she told me we broke these down and we looked at this at the quality time aspect and the acts of service aspect, because she got two love languages, which I don't think is fair, but she got two.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: So she got quality time and acts of service.
15:30
SPEAKER_02: So you know what she was telling me?
15:31
SPEAKER_02: Corey, you want to do this, da-da-da-da.
15:33
SPEAKER_02: But one last time you playing a date.
15:36
SPEAKER_02: One last time we actually just been together, me and you, quality time.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: Burn, hit me.
15:42
SPEAKER_02: Alright, sharp, all right, I'm ready, I'm ready to say something bad.
15:45
SPEAKER_02: But she right.
15:45
SPEAKER_02: Another thing, I come home, kitchen might be dirty, living room might be dirty, room might be dirty, bathroom might be dirty, get kids gotta take baths, gotta brush their teeth, gotta gotta get ready for, you know what I'm saying, for the for nighttime, get ready for school tomorrow.
15:59
SPEAKER_02: Where's my effort at in all these to this this to-do list of stuff?
16:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:04
SPEAKER_02: Acts of service.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: She pointed it out.
16:07
SPEAKER_02: Corey, if I came home and the kitchen was clean, that's one of those things I gotta do.
16:12
SPEAKER_02: Corey, if I came home, no, you finna be home at a certain time and you can help with nighttime, the night to nighttime routine, that's what load off of me.
16:19
SPEAKER_02: You see what I'm saying?
16:20
SPEAKER_02: So I started looking at, instead of me being selfish or like feeling some type of way, like, man, she just ain't, she ain't hearing me.
16:28
SPEAKER_02: Instead of me taking that approach, I say, let me hear you.
16:30
SPEAKER_02: Let me take, let me listen to what you're saying and actually apply it.
16:34
SPEAKER_02: Let me actually plan the dates.
16:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:36
SPEAKER_02: Let me actually come home instead of getting on my phone or getting on the game or being lazy taking it now.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: Let me actually, oh, this kitchen dirty.
16:44
SPEAKER_02: When she comes home, this kitchen finna be clean.
16:46
SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
16:47
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
16:47
SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: When she comes on, she ain't gonna have to worry about washing dishes.
16:49
SPEAKER_02: When she comes home, she ain't gotta worry about cleaning up the living room.
16:51
SPEAKER_02: You know why I already done vacuumed?
16:53
SPEAKER_02: I already done did it.
16:53
SPEAKER_02: So I'm taking the load off you.
16:55
SPEAKER_02: Oh, already done cooked dinner.
16:56
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I got dinner arrangements already ready to go.
16:58
SPEAKER_02: So what's that's gonna allow you to do as as the couple that's struggling, y'all are gonna be able to help each other out because y'all are filling each other's love tank.
17:08
SPEAKER_02: Okay?
17:08
SPEAKER_02: Look at this as a love tank.
17:09
SPEAKER_02: Imagine this was like a love tank.
17:11
SPEAKER_02: Like you, you can you have empty.
17:12
SPEAKER_02: You gotta fill it back up by doing whatever it is that she likes or whatever it is that he likes.
17:19
SPEAKER_02: She running eventually, this this love tank is gonna drain down, but you still expecting her to please you.
17:26
SPEAKER_02: How?
17:27
SPEAKER_02: Her energy is here.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Imagine if the water was down here.
17:30
SPEAKER_02: How is she gonna fulfill your needs when she's low?
17:36
SPEAKER_02: And I get that.
17:37
SPEAKER_02: I get that, I get that, I get that too.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: And then I also part, some parts of me be like, some parts of me be like, even though I understand, I do, and don't get me wrong, I definitely understand the love languages and stuff like that.
17:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:48
SPEAKER_02: But you gotta ask yourself a question.
17:51
SPEAKER_02: What's the question?
17:52
SPEAKER_02: The question is shouldn't you just, when you when you when you marry somebody and you and you and you vow and you pledge your love to them, should you just do that out of the strength of law, after that strength alone, be ready and willing to please their sexual needs?
18:07
SPEAKER_02: Um but from a from a from a realistic standpoint, it's just not realistic.
18:12
SPEAKER_02: It's just not from a real standpoint.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: Do we make it do we make do we do that?
18:16
SPEAKER_02: I'm just playing devil's advocate here.
18:17
SPEAKER_02: Do we make it not realistic?
18:18
SPEAKER_02: It depends on what we're doing.
18:20
SPEAKER_02: Or we depend on that, oh, because you ain't did this or you ain't did that.
18:23
SPEAKER_02: This is why I ain't getting this.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: I think it depends on how I think it depends on how often you're trying to ask for it too, though.
18:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:29
SPEAKER_02: If you're trying to have sex every day, like, let's do something.
18:32
SPEAKER_02: Let's do something.
18:33
SPEAKER_02: I've been thinking about like this though.
18:34
SPEAKER_02: So sometimes sometimes I think about like this, like, hey, you know, you get you know, especially for the ones that may that may not get it often or whatever.
18:42
SPEAKER_02: Are they are they struggling?
18:47
SPEAKER_02: Why?
18:48
SPEAKER_02: Wait, why turn it right way?
18:55
SPEAKER_02: You can't, hey, out of all the episodes that come out your shirt on, you want to come out episodes in the middle of the shirt.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: We don't do some episodes.
18:59
unknown: But it's hot in hell, dog.
19:01
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god! Y'all ain't hot.
19:06
SPEAKER_02: Now I be thinking though, like, but now but I think about it as is, you know, like you know, you you you you got out of all the out of all the ladies, or or for the for the for the women, men that you could, you know, have in this world, you choose that one person.
19:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:21
SPEAKER_02: And so it's just like, in my head, sometimes I think about, you know, why should each of us as husband and wife have to make the other person suffer due to what we may or may not have done, even though life is hard.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
19:36
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not sure.
19:37
SPEAKER_02: And don't get me wrong, I am all for the love languages because I do believe they work.
19:42
SPEAKER_02: I do believe making sure each other is taken care of.
19:44
SPEAKER_02: But you saying just off the simple fact that we done say that.
19:46
SPEAKER_02: Just in my face, I do.
19:47
SPEAKER_02: I dust I do it.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: You and all of you.
19:49
SPEAKER_02: You my wife.
19:49
SPEAKER_02: Why should I have to do all these things just to get some booty from you?
19:53
SPEAKER_02: Facts.
19:53
SPEAKER_02: Now I should have to clean up.
19:55
SPEAKER_02: You should, out of the strength alone of you loving who I am and you honoring you honoring what we said to God, and you honoring who we are to each other, you should be like, that's my man, that's my wife, that's my sister.
20:08
SPEAKER_02: What we got right here, this is deep, this is intimate.
20:11
SPEAKER_02: I want to share that with you, regardless of if I had a bad day, regardless if it's the living room dirty, bump that living room.
20:16
SPEAKER_02: Get what?
20:17
SPEAKER_02: The living room gonna be okay.
20:18
SPEAKER_02: And guess what the living room is gonna do?
20:19
SPEAKER_02: It's gonna get dirty in the next five minutes if you got kids.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: Facts.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: And now hold your question real quick, Wade.
20:24
SPEAKER_02: I agree with you.
20:25
SPEAKER_02: I don't think you should let the love languages get to a point of your marriage where you put it over that.
20:30
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
20:30
SPEAKER_02: You see what I'm saying?
20:32
SPEAKER_02: Because they can be dangerous.
20:33
SPEAKER_02: They can be dangerous.
20:34
SPEAKER_02: They can be very dangerous.
20:35
SPEAKER_02: Now, now I'm feeling like now I'm feeling like a kid, they got a chore list to do before I get the prize.
20:43
SPEAKER_02: I love who created it, but at the same time in time, I'm thinking like, okay, that task is helpful for us to benefit each other.
20:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:49
SPEAKER_02: But don't manipulate some fact of you're basing what God, what God intended off of the fact that our living room is dirty, or that you had to put the kids in the bathtub, or I haven't done this.
21:00
SPEAKER_02: Or I got home.
21:01
SPEAKER_02: I got home late and you did A, B, C, D, and I only did E.
21:05
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
21:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:08
SPEAKER_02: If anything, it should be based off a conversation.
21:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:10
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
21:11
SPEAKER_02: I'm with you on that.
21:12
SPEAKER_02: Wade, what you about to say, bro?
21:14
SPEAKER_01: Why you forget, bro?
21:17
SPEAKER_01: Should God feel the same way when we disobey him?
21:20
SPEAKER_02: What you mean, though?
21:22
SPEAKER_02: Talk to us, Wade.
21:23
SPEAKER_02: What you trying to correlate that with?
21:24
SPEAKER_02: Because y'all say we should be able to do that.
21:32
SPEAKER_02: We say titty.
21:35
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god! Titty over them.
21:40
SPEAKER_02: Take your shirt off, Johnny.
21:41
SPEAKER_02: Well, y'all don't wanna see these.
21:43
SPEAKER_02: Boy these boy.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: I got them all.
21:48
SPEAKER_02: What you call them?
21:48
SPEAKER_02: What you call them?
21:49
SPEAKER_02: What you call them tools that be in the water?
21:52
SPEAKER_02: All the floating devices, boy.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god!
22:02
SPEAKER_02: Where your fangoe is.
22:03
SPEAKER_02: And that was a built in inflatable.
22:06
unknown: Where are your fango?
22:07
SPEAKER_02: What you about to say, Wade?
22:09
SPEAKER_02: Explain that way.
22:10
SPEAKER_01: No, what I what I was saying, uh, sometimes like you said, we do out of strength, our strength of love.
22:16
SPEAKER_02: What if God don't have to do that with us?
22:18
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we don't obey him, but he still loves us.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: Facts.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: That's what Johnny was getting at.
22:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: That's what he was getting at.
22:25
SPEAKER_02: Like, despite me not doing what I know I probably should have did.
22:29
SPEAKER_02: Good.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: That's good, Wade.
22:31
SPEAKER_02: That is good.
22:33
SPEAKER_02: That was good.
22:33
SPEAKER_02: And you hit your first clip.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: My boy got his first clip.
22:39
SPEAKER_02: I'm good.
22:40
SPEAKER_02: That's how we should view marriage.
22:41
SPEAKER_02: That's how we should do it.
22:42
SPEAKER_02: That's how we should view sex in marriage.
22:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that we should do because people, I like, I hear y'all.
22:47
SPEAKER_02: But you know what I'm trying to say?
22:48
SPEAKER_02: When you when you think about the word and what it says about marriage, you know what I'm saying?
22:52
SPEAKER_02: You like, man, so I gotta, I gotta do this for you and you do that for me for us to still feel that love that we have for each other.
22:58
SPEAKER_02: So let's not worry about what we need to do for each other.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: Let's worry about connecting on a deeper level, talking things out, having conversations, the right conversations, until we get to a point in our marriage.
23:07
SPEAKER_02: You know, I look at people like I used to always think that people like who, you know, that first love, fur love at first sight was crazy.
23:13
SPEAKER_02: But I know people who don't been together, who waited forever to get married, and then they kind of still be rocking now.
23:19
SPEAKER_02: But I met this couple with my job one time, and they straight up told me they was like, you know, they came in holding hands.
23:25
SPEAKER_02: They they probably 60 in their 60s.
23:28
SPEAKER_02: He was a biker, she was a biker, they holding hands.
23:30
SPEAKER_02: They love you, Whey's kissing in the office.
23:32
SPEAKER_02: And I said, How long y'all wait for you?
23:33
SPEAKER_02: How long y'all been together?
23:34
SPEAKER_02: They were like, We've been together 30 something years.
23:36
SPEAKER_02: I said, I said, um, you know, how long y'all date?
23:39
SPEAKER_02: They said, uh, uh, oh, probably about a month.
23:42
unknown: Yeah.
23:42
SPEAKER_02: And he but he told me, he said, he said, that feeling I have for her, I never stopped having it.
23:47
SPEAKER_02: He said, no matter what she did, no matter how she treated me, he said, because I vowed to God that this was my wife and I'm gonna take care of her.
23:54
SPEAKER_02: He said, so what she needs, I supply.
23:57
SPEAKER_02: She said the same thing.
23:58
SPEAKER_02: What he needs, I'm gonna make sure he's straight.
24:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:01
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
24:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:02
SPEAKER_02: Because it's dangerous, man.
24:03
SPEAKER_02: It's it's so dangerous when we walk it, when we walk in that game of you do this and I'll give you this as a reward.
24:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's why I say you don't want to manipulate the love language.
24:15
SPEAKER_02: You don't want to manipulate it in that way.
24:17
SPEAKER_02: You want to use it because you know that it brings enjoyment and fulfillment to your partner.
24:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:22
SPEAKER_02: My love language ain't even up there.
24:24
SPEAKER_02: I told my wife, showed up.
24:25
SPEAKER_02: I said, my love language, sex.
24:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:28
SPEAKER_02: I said, my love, because physical say holding hands and kissing.
24:33
SPEAKER_02: No, if that's how you want to put it, way.
24:35
SPEAKER_02: That boy said, baby, turn around and baby.
24:38
SPEAKER_02: Now that boy couldn't say, my love language.
24:41
SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to do something.
24:41
SPEAKER_02: I ain't gonna lie to you.
24:42
SPEAKER_02: Hugging and kissing and cuddling.
24:45
SPEAKER_02: Cause that's real with me.
24:48
SPEAKER_02: Men want to be home, bro.
24:49
SPEAKER_02: I'm being real.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: Hey, men wanna go all the way home.
24:52
SPEAKER_02: We married, too.
24:53
SPEAKER_02: True or false?
24:53
SPEAKER_02: We married now.
24:54
SPEAKER_02: Men want food and booty.
24:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, facts.
24:58
SPEAKER_02: That's it.
24:59
SPEAKER_02: You get that right there, but you completely.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: That's it.
25:01
SPEAKER_02: And by me, that man will do whatever he needs to do for you.
25:04
SPEAKER_02: And by me college football, two gay.
25:07
SPEAKER_02: Grand Devon wanna come out, we get a gay.
25:10
SPEAKER_02: Bro, because I believe that when we're not, when we're not intentional about pleasing our spouses in the bedroom, and you know, whatever we need to do in the bedroom.
25:17
SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, and we're not intentional about pleasing our spouses in the bedroom, bro.
25:20
SPEAKER_02: That's how a lot of people step out and do other stuff.
25:23
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
25:24
SPEAKER_02: They look at other things, they entertain other things.
25:27
SPEAKER_02: And this it don't make them say this.
25:29
SPEAKER_02: It don't make them right.
25:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:30
SPEAKER_02: They wrong.
25:31
SPEAKER_02: You wrong.
25:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: That's why you got it.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: That's why we wrong when we do that.
25:34
SPEAKER_02: That's why communication is so big.
25:35
SPEAKER_02: Put up some Bobber verses on uh sex and marriage or sex in the marriage or whatever.
25:41
SPEAKER_02: But this, but this, but that's why communication is so big too.
25:43
SPEAKER_02: And I'ma say this too.
25:45
SPEAKER_02: Like, I like it.
25:47
SPEAKER_02: It's been times where it's been times where I'm walking, I'm walking around the house.
25:50
SPEAKER_02: I'm feeling some type of way.
25:51
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
25:52
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
25:52
SPEAKER_02: I'm feeling the type of way because I thought we were about to do something last night.
25:56
SPEAKER_02: And we ain't do it right.
25:57
SPEAKER_02: But look though, I'm I'm keeping it real.
26:00
SPEAKER_02: I know I ain't the only one that feels like this.
26:01
SPEAKER_02: Nah, you ain't.
26:02
SPEAKER_02: But I'm walking around.
26:04
SPEAKER_02: Feeling some type of way, low-key.
26:06
SPEAKER_02: I ain't even got a point out.
26:07
SPEAKER_02: Low-key, like, really like upset.
26:10
SPEAKER_02: Visibly, you can see it.
26:11
SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to act like I'm okay, but I'm really not.
26:14
SPEAKER_02: But the whole time, I'm on my wife to be the mind with mind reader.
26:18
SPEAKER_02: I'm on her, I'm on, I'm on her to bring up the fact that I want her to ask me what's wrong.
26:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:23
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm I'm like I'm so high in mind, like you see me, you see me.
26:26
SPEAKER_02: You knew what we were supposed to do last night, da-da-da.
26:29
SPEAKER_02: Communicate, y'all.
26:30
SPEAKER_02: Communicate.
26:30
SPEAKER_02: Communicate.
26:31
SPEAKER_02: Y'all together.
26:32
SPEAKER_02: This is what y'all in this thing for.
26:34
SPEAKER_02: If you can't talk to nobody else, you should be talking to your spouse.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: You should be able to tell me.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: I don't care what about anything.
26:39
SPEAKER_02: Sex.
26:41
SPEAKER_02: If you love to be pleased orally, you need to tell your spouse that.
26:43
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
26:44
SPEAKER_02: Whatever you need, you should be able to tell her.
26:46
SPEAKER_02: But a lot of, like you said, we walk around mad because we were.
26:49
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I thought we were on a date, and I thought we were going, we're gonna, you know, do something.
26:53
SPEAKER_02: You got in the bed and you went to sleep, and you like.
26:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if you would have said, hey, you know what?
26:57
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna do this work room.
26:58
SPEAKER_02: As soon as you go to sleep.
27:02
SPEAKER_02: Oh, what's up?
27:03
SPEAKER_02: You up?
27:03
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you up now?
27:04
SPEAKER_02: So we up.
27:05
SPEAKER_02: What you do, bro?
27:06
SPEAKER_01: Do it again, bro.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: Hey, wait, where'd the camera going?
27:08
SPEAKER_02: You came back on the date.
27:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you up?
27:12
SPEAKER_02: Hey, what's up, man?
27:13
SPEAKER_02: Shoot you up, that's what you wanna do.
27:16
SPEAKER_02: But now for real though.
27:17
SPEAKER_02: Ma'am.
27:18
SPEAKER_02: Like, you gotta you gotta be able to express how you feel.
27:20
SPEAKER_02: Don't expect your wife or your husband to know exactly why you feeling the way you feel.
27:25
SPEAKER_02: And even if you even if they probably do low-key know why you feel like that, they don't, they're not gonna really want to spark the conversation because you got an attitude already.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: And now the drive is gone.
27:36
SPEAKER_02: And what would you talk about iron striping iron?
27:38
SPEAKER_02: Learn how to maturely articulate yourself in a way that's not man, you always going to sleep.
27:48
SPEAKER_02: You said we're gonna do something like that, and then you make the situation worse.
27:51
SPEAKER_02: A lot of times I found even in, you know, even in my own marriage, sometimes it's like when I used to be like that, you find out that your spouse is thinking the same thing.
27:59
SPEAKER_02: Oh, but they're thinking the same thing.
28:01
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm nobody saying that movie, but hey ain't nobody saying nothing.
28:03
SPEAKER_02: Ain't nobody saying that.
28:04
SPEAKER_02: Y'all could have been hitting off, you know, you know, doing y'all thing, being intimate, but you we we we carry regrettes and laying there waiting for somebody to say so.
28:13
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
28:13
SPEAKER_02: That's real, bro.
28:14
SPEAKER_02: That's real, bro.
28:15
SPEAKER_02: What scripture do you got?
28:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, go ahead, bro.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: Go ahead, bro.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, go ahead.
28:17
SPEAKER_01: Go ahead, go ahead.
28:19
SPEAKER_02: Uh, the Bible views sex and marriage as a beautiful God-ordained gift meant for deep bonding, mutual pleasure, protection from temptation, and is celebrated as an exclusive, joyful union where a husband and wife become one flesh.
28:33
SPEAKER_02: That's Genesis 2, 24.
28:36
SPEAKER_02: You got a specific scripture we go with.
28:38
SPEAKER_02: Uh in Corinthians uh chapter 7, uh 3 through 5, Apostle Paul teaches that spouses have a responsibility to fulfill each other's sexual needs, um, emphasizing mutual submission to one another's bodies.
28:51
SPEAKER_02: Couples are encouraged not to withhold physical intimacy from each other except by mutual agreement for a dedicated time of prayer.
28:59
SPEAKER_02: Hallelujah.
29:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, mutual respect, like mutual.
29:03
SPEAKER_02: The two shall become one.
29:04
SPEAKER_02: I thought I thought about that.
29:05
SPEAKER_02: I was like, we have to be that's why we gotta be in agreement with our spouses on what the expectations are.
29:12
SPEAKER_02: Because when you don't walk, when you don't walk in agreement in your in your in your in your marriage or your sex life in your marriage, that's what misunderstanding happens.
29:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, set expectations.
29:21
SPEAKER_02: Set expectations.
29:22
SPEAKER_02: That's another good one.
29:23
SPEAKER_02: How can you fix your sex and the sex your sex life in your marriage?
29:26
SPEAKER_02: Set expectations, verbalize expectations.
29:29
SPEAKER_02: Stop assuming people know what you want to do, and stop assuming your wife knows what you want to do, stop assuming your husband knows what you want to do.
29:35
SPEAKER_02: Talk about it.
29:36
SPEAKER_02: We've all had to do that.
29:37
SPEAKER_02: We've all had to be, we've all had to say, hey, this is what I this is what I like, this is what I brought, this is what I don't like.
29:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
29:43
SPEAKER_02: This is what I want.
29:44
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
29:45
SPEAKER_02: This is what I need.
29:46
SPEAKER_02: This is what I expect.
29:47
SPEAKER_02: And it even if even if it's we we busy.
29:49
SPEAKER_02: Hey, we're finna hey, we we if we gotta put it on the calendar, we put it on the calendar.
29:54
SPEAKER_02: Whatever you gotta do.
29:55
SPEAKER_02: Whatever you gotta do to get that flame back lid.
29:57
SPEAKER_02: Get the flame back lit.
29:58
SPEAKER_02: Whatever you gotta do, get that flame back live, bro.
30:00
SPEAKER_02: This is a continued this is a partnership.
30:02
SPEAKER_02: Man, this is a this is a team.
30:03
SPEAKER_02: Y'all supposed to be a team.
30:04
SPEAKER_02: If you're gonna be able to do it.
30:05
SPEAKER_02: Nobody talks about y'all losing because y'all losing.
30:08
SPEAKER_02: Y'all both on the same team, y'all gotta get on the same page, bro.
30:10
SPEAKER_02: Bro, nobody talks about how hard.
30:12
SPEAKER_02: We say that with ease, but nobody talks about how hard it is because, like you said, in some marriages, you have one spouse, you have a spouse that's ready, then you have a spouse that's kind of fighting.
30:23
SPEAKER_02: It's like y'all have to be both understanding and submissive to each other so y'all can grow together in building y'all self back up.
30:31
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
30:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, facts.
30:34
SPEAKER_02: It do make sense.
30:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because I feel like this is where a lot of misunderstandings come from.
30:38
SPEAKER_02: Um A lot of misunderstandings come from miscommunication, bro.
30:42
SPEAKER_02: Or lack of communication, man.
30:44
SPEAKER_02: So if I knew if I knew then what I know now, and y'all can answer this too how y'all want to, but I'm just throwing this in there.
30:53
SPEAKER_02: He just talked about it.
30:54
SPEAKER_02: If I knew then what I know now when it comes to sex in marriage, just in my own personal life, like, I would have, I would have been like, I would have took the love languages more serious way before I even got married.
31:11
SPEAKER_02: Like I would have looked into that more because I would have won, like I it would have been more of a want to please you in the way you want to be pleased, and not even really worrying about the return.
31:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:23
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
31:24
SPEAKER_02: I would just be doing it out of love for you, because I know that's how you like to be loved.
31:30
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
31:30
SPEAKER_02: So I would've I would have jumped on them love languages quicker, and I would have just made it the standard from the junk.
31:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:35
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
31:36
SPEAKER_02: So that way it don't even feel like, it don't even feel like I'm doing this.
31:40
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I gotta do this in order to get that.
31:42
SPEAKER_02: It would have just been that mutual respect and that mutual love.
31:45
SPEAKER_02: Like, I know you like coming home sometimes in the kitchen clean.
31:48
SPEAKER_02: Like, just go ahead and do it, Corey.
31:50
SPEAKER_02: You ain't doing nothing else.
31:51
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
31:51
SPEAKER_02: Like, little stuff like that.
31:52
SPEAKER_02: So if I knew then what I know now, I would try to do everything in my power as a husband to understand and realize the thing that I want is attached to, is attached to the thing that she wants.
32:06
SPEAKER_02: But I gotta be man enough to say, just cause I'm the man don't mean I can't watch this.
32:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because I'm the man don't mean I can't pick up stuff off the floor.
32:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
32:14
SPEAKER_02: Just because I'm the man and I and I make more money and all types of stuff like that, don't mean that I can't help out around the household with the kids.
32:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
32:20
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
32:21
SPEAKER_02: It ain't no.
32:23
SPEAKER_02: I believe, you know, I th we we I used to, I remember I used to, um, and I say used to because I gotta get back to that, you know what I'm saying?
32:29
SPEAKER_02: Cause we get, you know, we get so caught in our daily lives that we forget the simple things we used to do, but you know what I'm saying, sending, sending those nice sexy texts.
32:37
SPEAKER_02: And hey girl, what you doing?
32:39
SPEAKER_02: Hey, kinda kind of w sexy what?
32:42
SPEAKER_02: Tits, boy.
32:44
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
32:51
SPEAKER_02: I know you ain't over there looking like a uh a double set of double D.
32:56
SPEAKER_02: Hey, Wade is over there jiggling, boy.
32:59
SPEAKER_02: Wade over there looking like jigglypuff in Pokemon.
33:02
SPEAKER_02: Hey.
33:05
SPEAKER_02: Hey, bro.
33:06
SPEAKER_02: But nah, bro, sending that, sending them Stacey Taysy, a girl.
33:09
SPEAKER_02: You know, because you know a lot of the you always hear, you gotta make a little say mine.
33:12
SPEAKER_02: They're not women or they they emotional beings, so you're talking about a way that's setting it up, spicing it up.
33:18
unknown: Talking about this topic.
33:19
SPEAKER_01: Why is that?
33:21
SPEAKER_02: Talk to him away.
33:23
SPEAKER_02: Many Christians' marriages, counselors, and ministries suggest that if both spouses agree, sex toys can be used to enrich physical intimacy.
33:33
SPEAKER_02: Proponents like those focus on the family.
33:37
SPEAKER_02: Highlight the importance of mutual consent, cautioning against pressure, pointing out that toys should not replace emotional and physical cloniness.
33:46
SPEAKER_02: And it also say, hey, let me ask y'all this.
33:49
SPEAKER_02: Self-pleasure in the Bible is it speaks against it.
33:53
SPEAKER_02: Where are you speaking against it at?
33:55
SPEAKER_02: It does.
33:56
SPEAKER_02: Where?
33:56
SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm y'all keep talking, I'm gonna look it up.
33:59
SPEAKER_02: But we can talk about what he just brought up, though.
34:02
SPEAKER_02: The six toys in marriage.
34:06
SPEAKER_02: I feel like, I personally feel like that's between you and your wife.
34:10
SPEAKER_02: Between you.
34:11
SPEAKER_02: That's between you and your husband.
34:12
SPEAKER_02: That's what I feel.
34:13
SPEAKER_02: Y'all ain't not here you using it on other people.
34:15
SPEAKER_02: Y'all ain't got it ain't a swinger situation.
34:17
SPEAKER_02: You got other men and women in it.
34:19
SPEAKER_02: No, I feel like when it mutually respected, whatever you and your wife want to do in their bedroom, with whatever, not with whoever, but with whatever.
34:29
SPEAKER_02: Hey.
34:29
SPEAKER_02: Whatever y'all want to do, use it for it to eat.
34:33
unknown: Wait, what?
34:34
SPEAKER_02: Use it for it to eat.
34:35
SPEAKER_02: So what you finna use?
34:36
SPEAKER_02: Use nothing, you use nothing to use, hey, hey, what?
34:41
SPEAKER_02: Hey, hey, hey, you use it for it, hey, you for it to eat.
34:48
SPEAKER_02: Where you getting at?
34:48
SPEAKER_02: No, I'm trying to, y'all, y'all didn't let me finish y'all being stupid.
34:53
SPEAKER_02: What?
34:59
SPEAKER_00: What are you talking about, Johnny?
35:01
SPEAKER_02: All I'm trying to say is we're talking about using toys in the bedroom.
35:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm saying we use other things to do things too for a purpose.
35:10
SPEAKER_02: Whether you put up, you use it for it to eat.
35:12
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
35:13
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah, think about noompa loopa looking.
35:17
SPEAKER_02: Nah, that's facts, though.
35:18
SPEAKER_02: I mean, use it for it, you know what I'm saying?
35:19
SPEAKER_02: So you're using another tool just to set because you use it for it.
35:22
SPEAKER_02: We we need we can you can use your hands.
35:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:24
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
35:25
SPEAKER_02: So that's between you and your wife, I feel like I feel like those things, if you guys are agreeing on it, but you know what I'm saying, you can-like everything else though, don't allow it to take over.
35:34
SPEAKER_02: That's what I double about to say.
35:35
SPEAKER_02: You took a word from my mouth.
35:36
SPEAKER_02: If that thing is causing, you know, your separation and she finding herself or himself using it outside of your the the grounds of y'all marriage, then now it's become a bad situation.
35:47
SPEAKER_02: It done it done became more than y'all.
35:49
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
35:49
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
35:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if she uh if she or he feel like they don't need you no more, they got this.
35:55
SPEAKER_02: Then it makes you think if you gotta if we gotta use this, then are you are you doing your job?
35:58
SPEAKER_02: If your girl got, you know what I'm saying?
36:00
SPEAKER_02: Dude, them type of thoughts will start to come into your mind.
36:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, because you're gonna feel like I see, I see why people don't get dangerous.
36:08
SPEAKER_02: It could be a dangerous thing.
36:11
SPEAKER_02: It's a thin line.
36:12
SPEAKER_02: I believe it's I don't I wanna I don't wanna say it's wrong because it's something that you and your wife agreed agreement on and y'all pleasuring each other.
36:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but y'all need to go into it with the same on the same page like this.
36:21
SPEAKER_02: But it's dangerous.
36:22
SPEAKER_02: Get addicted to.
36:23
SPEAKER_02: Because if we get addicted to it, then we could we could grow apart from each other.
36:26
SPEAKER_02: Bro, because they got all kinds of stuff out there.
36:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
36:29
SPEAKER_02: And so, you know what I'm saying?
36:31
SPEAKER_02: So, wait, this is my thought on it, bro.
36:32
SPEAKER_02: It's like if you if it's gonna cause separation, because things like that can't cause separation.
36:40
SPEAKER_02: It's me and my wife.
36:43
SPEAKER_02: You know, stays in the bedroom.
36:44
SPEAKER_02: Hey, but uh I'd be scared of going to uh you know all the stores Why you say that with a mic on?
36:57
SPEAKER_01: No, all right, you try to make up, bro.
37:01
SPEAKER_02: Be brave, you gonna talk, be brave.
37:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, say it way.
37:03
SPEAKER_02: Lose some weight.
37:04
SPEAKER_02: You gonna be like sometimes I be scared to go to wait, what?
37:07
SPEAKER_02: You talking about like expenses and stuff like that?
37:10
SPEAKER_02: The little six toy stores and stuff like that.
37:12
SPEAKER_02: Nah, because when you walk up in there, man, it'd be somebody that worked in the house.
37:15
SPEAKER_02: That happened to me.
37:15
SPEAKER_02: What are you looking for?
37:16
SPEAKER_02: So you wanted somebody that was in there?
37:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this is when I was younger.
37:19
SPEAKER_02: I was probably like eight, no, uh 20, 22.
37:22
SPEAKER_02: Well, anyway, he was done.
37:23
SPEAKER_02: They were last week.
37:25
SPEAKER_02: Not no last week.
37:26
SPEAKER_02: That didn't happen to me why I was talking somebody out there.
37:28
SPEAKER_02: Okay, this happened 22 days ago.
37:29
SPEAKER_02: What happened?
37:30
SPEAKER_02: 22 days in the house, I was 22.
37:32
SPEAKER_02: Okay, you 22.
37:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
37:33
SPEAKER_02: Oh, this wouldn't depend on what bosses are people I knew.
37:35
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you seen somebody, you seen somebody you know.
37:36
SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
37:37
SPEAKER_02: You said you need to finish your store.
37:39
SPEAKER_02: What story?
37:39
SPEAKER_02: You you weren't saying no story.
37:41
SPEAKER_02: You you muted the mic.
37:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, go ahead and say, let's speak it up.
37:45
SPEAKER_02: Speak it up.
37:45
SPEAKER_02: No, and sometimes, because like you go in there, then the customer would be like, not the customer but the person that worked there, be like, what are you looking for today?
37:52
SPEAKER_02: You need help finding something?
37:54
SPEAKER_02: You know how embarrassing that would be.
37:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, I'm looking for uh something like that.
38:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm looking for what specific Take your Yeah, nah, yeah.
38:07
SPEAKER_02: Take your white with you that I was playing, but um I've been in those stores before, but nah, I don't know, maybe like once or twice my whole life.
38:13
SPEAKER_02: But you were saying No bro, I was talking about the time I had when I saw somebody I knew when I was when I was younger, but it was in my early 20s.
38:21
SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, but I I I on this situation, I would say be careful with that because in my in my brain, this is like if you know, I feel like sometimes when we talk about what sex is intended for and how it's a deeper level of for the marriage, spiritually, uh uh a spiritual connection.
38:41
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
38:42
SPEAKER_02: So you want to make sure that them toys ain't taking over.
38:45
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
38:45
SPEAKER_02: And taking away taking away the connection from your spouse because you can be you can you can be with your spouse and join You can be with your spouse or what?
38:58
SPEAKER_02: You mean your You can be with your spouse and I should see Wade here, y'all.
39:03
SPEAKER_02: Wade taking the food break.
39:04
SPEAKER_02: Hey, Wade taking the food break, y'all.
39:06
SPEAKER_02: It's crazy.
39:06
SPEAKER_02: That boy losing weight in here.
39:08
SPEAKER_02: But you can be with your spouse and join and you can be with your spouse using those kind of things, and they enjoy that more than they enjoy you.
39:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
39:14
SPEAKER_02: That's one of them you it don't went too far.
39:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
39:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
39:17
SPEAKER_02: So masturbation.
39:19
SPEAKER_02: So do y'all think do y'all think okay, we we we ran with the word.
39:23
SPEAKER_02: Go back to the scripture that says that go back to the scripture that says the question, Johnny.
39:27
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead.
39:29
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry.
39:31
SPEAKER_02: I didn't hear him, my bad.
39:35
SPEAKER_02: Go ahead and talk about you, talk about masturbation.
39:38
SPEAKER_02: That's what you said.
39:44
SPEAKER_02: Listen, in the Bible, I thought it was a sin, but it's not a sin.
39:49
SPEAKER_02: I prove it.
39:50
SPEAKER_02: You gotta mat it up.
39:52
SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
39:52
SPEAKER_02: I said I Googled, it's dragging off a sin.
39:55
SPEAKER_02: You just Googled it.
39:57
SPEAKER_02: You just what it what it say?
39:58
SPEAKER_02: What is it?
39:59
SPEAKER_01: Whether masturbation is considered a sin depends heavily on personal and religious interpretation.
40:05
SPEAKER_01: It is not directly mentioned in the Bible, but different faith traditions have distant views.
40:10
SPEAKER_02: Christianity, the Bible does not explicitly name or condemn masturbation.
40:14
SPEAKER_02: However, many denominations view it as a sinful because they interpret the word y'all.
40:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
40:24
SPEAKER_02: It is an act of self-focus that is separate from God's design for sex within marriage.
40:29
SPEAKER_02: It is also widely linked to a sin of lust or an in-deep breakdown of how biblical scholars interpret it.
40:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's what I that's what I was gonna I was gonna say.
40:41
SPEAKER_02: I was gonna connect it to lust.
40:42
SPEAKER_02: I was gonna connect it to less.
40:43
SPEAKER_02: It's connected to lust.
40:44
SPEAKER_02: I think it's a good thing.
40:44
SPEAKER_02: And I don't I don't think it's I don't think it's a safe route to go.
40:47
SPEAKER_02: It's not, yeah, it's it.
40:47
SPEAKER_02: I don't think it's a safe route to go.
40:48
SPEAKER_02: It's whether you want to say a sin or not, you can argue that all you want to, but my thing is if it's if it's if it's something that's like super, super close to being like you can really say it is, I think it's it's gonna be too hard for you to like not cross that line.
41:05
SPEAKER_02: Because it comes, it comes, it comes to the point where it begins to manifest in your outer life.
41:09
SPEAKER_02: It's one of them things you might be like, oh, we good here, but because a lot of people do that in their marriage, you know, when they're not getting what they need, you know what I'm saying?
41:17
SPEAKER_02: They get to it.
41:18
SPEAKER_02: But then you guys said, What you doing it too?
41:19
SPEAKER_02: They turn it, yeah.
41:20
SPEAKER_02: What you doing into what you watch it?
41:22
SPEAKER_02: They turn to it, they end up, you know, sometimes they get addicted to it, they get stuck on it.
41:26
SPEAKER_02: Now they now they're in a whirlwind of pornography and all the other different things that they that they they deal with.
41:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I was like, you know what I'm saying?
41:32
SPEAKER_02: So it's definitely it's definitely not safe.
41:35
SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't recommend it.
41:36
SPEAKER_02: Hey, if you I wouldn't recommend it.
41:39
SPEAKER_02: Well, if you what so so when you with your if when you with your spouse and you you do it, that's different.
41:43
SPEAKER_02: It's different.
41:44
SPEAKER_02: If you with your woman, like we said, anything in the bedroom, you good.
41:48
SPEAKER_02: So what if she say no?
41:49
SPEAKER_02: And you turn around.
41:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god!
41:54
SPEAKER_02: Turn around and do what?
41:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, nah.
42:00
SPEAKER_02: If you turn around I mean I just feel like I feel like if I had to say it was right or wrong, I would have to say it was wrong.
42:11
SPEAKER_02: I can't I because I can't say it's right.
42:13
SPEAKER_02: Because you did, because you didn't, even though I got you.
42:16
SPEAKER_02: Because in that moment, even though you still in the bed with your wife, it's not really with your wife for your own self, self, self-love switches out.
42:30
SPEAKER_02: We're finna start the episode.
42:33
SPEAKER_02: We finna start the episode, bro.
42:36
SPEAKER_02: Hey, our producer wild, bro.
42:38
SPEAKER_02: Way! Our producer's wild, bro.
42:40
SPEAKER_02: What is going on in here?
42:42
SPEAKER_02: But if I can pick his head, but even practice, he's losing his mind over there now.
42:46
SPEAKER_02: Hey, way.
42:47
SPEAKER_02: It's time it's time for you to go home.
42:49
SPEAKER_02: It's time you to go home this miles, man.
42:51
SPEAKER_02: You turn it over doing it because out of it's either out of anger or out of something.
42:55
SPEAKER_02: But then because it ain't out of the love no more.
42:57
SPEAKER_02: It ain't you ain't doing it, you know what I'm saying?
42:59
SPEAKER_02: It's because you now now you're now you're focused on your own lustful.
43:02
SPEAKER_02: That's flesh.
43:03
SPEAKER_02: That's flesh.
43:03
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
43:04
SPEAKER_02: It's your own lustful.
43:05
SPEAKER_02: So I get you on that.
43:06
SPEAKER_02: That's a lustful thing, bro.
43:07
SPEAKER_02: And do y'all think women go back to the scripture there?
43:09
SPEAKER_02: Um, I know what it says about you know, um not denying one, not denying each other.
43:13
SPEAKER_02: He can type it in.
43:14
SPEAKER_02: He can type some of the words in you trying to say.
43:18
SPEAKER_02: Because my thought to you, bro is do not type in, do not deny your spouse.
43:22
SPEAKER_02: My thought to you, bro, is should you deny, should you deny your spouse?
43:25
SPEAKER_02: If your spouse is coming to you and they like, hey, I want some.
43:28
SPEAKER_02: Should a woman or a man be like, should be able to be like, no.
43:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm or I'm tired.
43:32
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I don't feel like it.
43:34
SPEAKER_02: I don't care if I'm sleepy, I don't care if I just worked 17 hours.
43:37
SPEAKER_02: I don't care if I ain't been sleeping.
43:39
SPEAKER_02: I don't feel like it.
43:40
SPEAKER_02: Wake me up.
43:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43:45
SPEAKER_02: Now wake me up.
43:46
SPEAKER_02: Wake me up for real.
43:47
SPEAKER_02: Please wake me up.
43:48
SPEAKER_02: Please.
43:49
SPEAKER_02: Tell me, well, ask me, but it's a you and your girl came home, you and your wife, you in the mood, you want to do something, and You mention it to her, you be like, hey, let's do it.
44:04
SPEAKER_02: And she's like, I'm tired.
44:06
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to do it.
44:06
SPEAKER_02: Everything is tired.
44:07
SPEAKER_02: And she turns over and goes to sleep.
44:08
SPEAKER_02: Everything is circumstantial, bro.
44:10
SPEAKER_02: That's why I say do it with it.
44:14
SPEAKER_02: Raping.
44:15
SPEAKER_02: Everything is circumstantial, bro.
44:17
SPEAKER_02: I feel like we have to understand that at the end day, we're not robots.
44:22
SPEAKER_02: We not machines.
44:23
SPEAKER_02: We're human beings.
44:24
SPEAKER_02: At the end of the day, at the end day, we're human beings.
44:27
SPEAKER_02: So she has the right to be tired.
44:31
SPEAKER_02: You don't want to have sex with no woman that's tired or she's not into it and stuff like that.
44:35
SPEAKER_02: You see what I'm saying?
44:36
SPEAKER_02: But at the same time, you don't want to, as the spouse or as the person that's claiming they're tired, you don't want to keep saying that.
44:44
SPEAKER_02: Or you don't want to use that as a crutch every time.
44:46
SPEAKER_02: So you think they should be like basically, hey, I'm tired right now, baby.
44:50
SPEAKER_02: But can we can we do it tomorrow?
44:51
SPEAKER_02: Can we give you a chance to do that?
44:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, give me give you a little sense of hope.
44:54
SPEAKER_02: Give me a little Hey, hey, give me the morning time.
44:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, give me a little hope with it.
44:57
SPEAKER_02: You don't just hit me with the I'm tired.
44:59
SPEAKER_02: No, but at that same time, it's the scripture.
45:01
SPEAKER_02: What does it mean to say, bro?
45:02
SPEAKER_02: Don't let the sun go down on your wrath.
45:04
SPEAKER_02: That's that's anger though.
45:05
SPEAKER_02: They don't necessarily mean you're mad.
45:07
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you do be mad.
45:08
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
45:10
SPEAKER_02: Okay, but sometimes you do be mad.
45:11
SPEAKER_02: We don't all win the man, man.
45:12
SPEAKER_02: But that's you though.
45:13
SPEAKER_02: You gotta you gotta not be mad at that.
45:15
SPEAKER_02: But read the scripture.
45:16
SPEAKER_02: What does it mean to say, man, by denying uh denying read the actual scripture, not the not the overview.
45:21
SPEAKER_02: Read the actual scripture of what it says.
45:23
SPEAKER_02: Because you just be reading the synopsis of it or like the summary of it.
45:26
SPEAKER_02: But actually read the scripture.
45:28
SPEAKER_02: Do not deny yourself to each other unless you first agree to do so.
45:33
SPEAKER_02: So for a while in order to spend your time in prayer, but then resume normal partial relationships, which means sex.
45:41
SPEAKER_02: And this way you will be kept be kept from giving into Satan's temptation because of your lack of self-control.
45:48
SPEAKER_02: So that means no matter what, you have to do that.
45:54
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, that's definitely his temptation.
45:55
SPEAKER_02: That's definitely his temptation, bro.
45:56
SPEAKER_02: So I I get what the scripture is saying, but I don't feel like people can manipulate that.
46:02
SPEAKER_02: The Bible says you ain't supposed to deny me.
46:04
SPEAKER_02: Turnover.
46:10
SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna be with you.
46:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
46:12
SPEAKER_02: But uh you can't manipulate, bro.
46:14
SPEAKER_02: You can't you get just like we can't manipulate the love language and stuff like that, you can't manipulate another human being into doing what you want them to do.
46:21
SPEAKER_02: Because at that point, at that point, you're not really even acting out of love and emotion yourself.
46:26
SPEAKER_02: You just want what you want.
46:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
46:28
SPEAKER_02: You don't turn into a bully now.
46:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
46:30
SPEAKER_02: Like you respect how your partner feels, bro.
46:32
SPEAKER_02: Straight bullying.
46:33
SPEAKER_02: But at the same time, partner, don't don't don't overdo it now.
46:37
SPEAKER_02: Don't do it.
46:38
SPEAKER_02: Come on now.
46:38
SPEAKER_02: It gotta be some, it gotta be some give.
46:41
SPEAKER_02: You know, give and take.
46:42
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
46:43
SPEAKER_02: How long, how long in a relationship you be crying?
46:46
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I was about I'm gonna ask y'all quick.
46:48
SPEAKER_01: You're crying what about what?
46:50
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
46:54
SPEAKER_02: How long is too long?
46:56
SPEAKER_02: I mean, no, I'm not talking about innovative.
46:58
SPEAKER_02: I'm not talking about in the room.
46:59
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no.
47:00
SPEAKER_02: I'm not talking about inner bedroom.
47:01
SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about how long is too long that you've been waiting to have sex.
47:05
SPEAKER_02: How long is too long?
47:06
SPEAKER_02: Like it's been four days, it's been two weeks, it's been three weeks, like what's what's up?
47:11
SPEAKER_02: No, listen, the question I'm asking is you married, right?
47:14
SPEAKER_02: You and your wife ain't had sex in X amount of days.
47:17
SPEAKER_02: What's that number?
47:18
SPEAKER_02: That's too long.
47:21
SPEAKER_02: That just got you feeling some type of way.
47:22
SPEAKER_02: That got you upset.
47:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like you go, like you, like you low-key, you go you feel like.
47:26
SPEAKER_02: So basically, I'm like, if I ain't had sex in X amount of days, how many days?
47:30
SPEAKER_02: Five days, four days.
47:31
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna start feeling some type of way.
47:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, four days for you done.
47:34
SPEAKER_02: I'm kinda fine.
47:35
SPEAKER_02: I ain't gonna lie, I'm a week, I'm a week.
47:36
SPEAKER_02: I I I I can go I can go a week or twice a week.
47:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, a week.
47:39
SPEAKER_02: A week is good for me.
47:40
SPEAKER_02: After that, I'm saying if it's been longer than a week.
47:43
SPEAKER_02: If it's been longer than a week, then you started getting aggravated.
47:46
SPEAKER_02: You start getting frustrated.
47:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if it's been a full week, you started.
47:48
SPEAKER_02: Five to seven days.
47:49
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
47:50
SPEAKER_02: And we ain't been intimate.
47:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, realistic, bro.
47:53
SPEAKER_02: I'm being realistic.
47:55
SPEAKER_02: Three days, man.
47:56
SPEAKER_02: I got four kids, so.
47:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you going crazy.
48:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:00
SPEAKER_02: Nah, nah.
48:02
SPEAKER_02: We can't say wait wrong, we're gonna wait here.
48:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:06
unknown: What y'all mean?
48:07
SPEAKER_02: I mean, y'all be realistic.
48:09
SPEAKER_02: I said five.
48:10
SPEAKER_02: When you think about yeah, you think about this one time a week.
48:13
SPEAKER_02: We say a five.
48:13
SPEAKER_02: Once a week, but what I mean by five, I'm talking about on day five.
48:18
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, day five.
48:19
SPEAKER_02: It's day five now.
48:20
SPEAKER_02: That's how I feel.
48:21
SPEAKER_02: So really four days for you.
48:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:23
SPEAKER_02: Four days.
48:25
SPEAKER_02: This Monday.
48:26
SPEAKER_02: Monday, Tuesday, by Thursday, I'm upset.
48:29
SPEAKER_02: So if we don't do nothing Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
48:32
SPEAKER_02: I'm looking at Friday as a guarantee.
48:34
SPEAKER_02: That's how that's how I'm looking at it.
48:35
SPEAKER_02: It should be.
48:35
SPEAKER_02: I'm looking at it as a guarantee.
48:36
SPEAKER_02: And if we don't do nothing that Friday, show me the titty or something.
48:40
SPEAKER_02: Why you be muting the mic, bruh?
48:42
SPEAKER_02: Why you be saying stuff on my head?
48:44
SPEAKER_02: He ain't never done muting the microwave.
48:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god!
48:49
SPEAKER_02: Way you go way Hey, wait, though.
48:52
SPEAKER_02: Hey, show me something.
48:53
SPEAKER_02: Hey, you gotta give me a little something to work with.
48:55
SPEAKER_02: If we ain't did it, do something.
48:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:58
SPEAKER_02: Send me a little Snapchat.
48:59
SPEAKER_02: What do you say, Snapchat me that?
49:01
SPEAKER_02: Do something.
49:02
SPEAKER_02: This is the girl I talked to, man.
49:03
SPEAKER_02: I can't even put her name out there, man.
49:05
SPEAKER_02: But she was, she was like, you know, she feel like it was it was her duty as his his wife to make sure that he get what he needs.
49:14
SPEAKER_02: She was like, every time he about to go out, W wife in the chat.
49:17
SPEAKER_02: He said, what?
49:18
SPEAKER_02: W wife in the chat.
49:19
SPEAKER_02: She said, she said, every time he's about to go out, she made sure he pleased.
49:22
SPEAKER_02: She said, because she don't want him to go out and get nothing else.
49:25
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know if she should do it out of fear.
49:27
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm gonna say?
49:30
SPEAKER_02: But I understand it's good on her part, it's effort to say, hey, I want to make sure he's satisfied.
49:35
SPEAKER_02: But I think us men, we should make, we should make sure our wives are satisfied as well.
49:38
SPEAKER_02: And it and at the end day, bro, all this stuff boils down to intentionality.
49:43
SPEAKER_02: Intentionality.
49:43
SPEAKER_02: You need to be intentional about pleasing your partner.
49:46
SPEAKER_02: Pure point blank.
49:48
SPEAKER_02: If you love me for real, like you say you do, and I love you for real, like I say, I say I do, there's no way intimacy should not be at the forefront of your mind.
49:56
SPEAKER_02: Right.
49:57
SPEAKER_02: Because this is this I'm gonna keep one, like he just said he's gonna keep 100 with y'all.
50:00
SPEAKER_02: Boy, this part of the reason why I married you.
50:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
50:03
SPEAKER_02: Let's keep it real.
50:04
SPEAKER_02: You think I just married you to come home, hey babe.
50:07
SPEAKER_02: Hi kids.
50:08
SPEAKER_02: The playhouse?
50:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
50:09
SPEAKER_02: Come in the playhouse.
50:11
SPEAKER_02: I made the play house.
50:12
SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to go crazy.
50:15
SPEAKER_02: Every week, let me make the playhouse.
50:18
SPEAKER_02: I should have sex minimum 52 times a year.
50:20
SPEAKER_02: That's minimum.
50:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:22
SPEAKER_02: And that's that's not enough.
50:23
SPEAKER_01: That's not enough.
50:24
SPEAKER_02: It's 50, it's 52 weeks in a year.
50:27
SPEAKER_02: Once a week.
50:30
SPEAKER_02: I ain't gonna lie, I ain't really cool with that.
50:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
50:31
SPEAKER_02: I ain't really cool with that.
50:36
SPEAKER_02: God.
50:37
SPEAKER_02: I get a period every month, wait.
50:39
SPEAKER_02: Wait.
50:40
SPEAKER_02: Um pray for me, y'all.
50:42
SPEAKER_02: But uh no way we don't wait a vampire.
50:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god!
50:51
SPEAKER_02: Nah, bro, nah, but nah, bro.
50:52
SPEAKER_02: Be into be intentional.
50:53
SPEAKER_02: Nah, be intentional, bro.
50:54
SPEAKER_02: Be intentional.
50:55
SPEAKER_02: That's how you gonna get to say, we gotta be intentional, bro.
50:57
SPEAKER_02: Be intentional.
50:58
SPEAKER_02: We gotta be intentional.
50:59
SPEAKER_02: Wives, just grab your husband.
51:00
SPEAKER_02: Husband, just grab your wife.
51:02
SPEAKER_02: Like, and don't be on no get down.
51:04
SPEAKER_02: Turn them down.
51:05
SPEAKER_02: Get out of here.
51:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm telling you, bro.
51:07
SPEAKER_02: Let's go, let's go.
51:08
SPEAKER_02: Hey, now let's talk about real quick.
51:10
SPEAKER_02: Don't be hey.
51:11
SPEAKER_02: Hey.
51:11
SPEAKER_02: Hey, don't be like hey, that's crazy.
51:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh, get off you?
51:14
SPEAKER_02: I bet.
51:15
SPEAKER_02: That's wow.
51:16
SPEAKER_02: I don't I I I I've never understood.
51:20
SPEAKER_02: Hey, whole time, nigga.
51:22
SPEAKER_02: Man.
51:22
SPEAKER_02: Joseph.
51:24
SPEAKER_02: You really ready to fight me, man.
51:26
SPEAKER_02: You really ready to fight.
51:27
SPEAKER_02: But the whole time you can't even sleep.
51:28
SPEAKER_02: You just sitting there like, boy, you know what?
51:30
SPEAKER_02: You just did that.
51:30
SPEAKER_02: Get off me is wow.
51:32
SPEAKER_02: Leave me alone.
51:33
SPEAKER_02: Get off me.
51:34
SPEAKER_02: Don't touch me.
51:35
SPEAKER_02: How?
51:35
SPEAKER_02: You gotta, hey, man.
51:37
SPEAKER_02: How?
51:38
unknown: Don't talk to another B man.
51:39
SPEAKER_02: Be careful with that, man.
51:40
SPEAKER_02: Be careful.
51:41
SPEAKER_02: Be careful with that.
51:42
SPEAKER_02: Be careful with if you don't if you don't feel like doing something, be careful with how you word it.
51:47
SPEAKER_02: How you word it?
51:48
SPEAKER_02: Be careful with.
51:50
SPEAKER_02: Because what you say matters.
51:51
SPEAKER_02: But I'm telling you right now, as a man, as a man.
51:53
SPEAKER_02: As a man, but you don't kill our ego.
51:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
51:56
SPEAKER_02: I'm going here and let y'all know right now.
51:57
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
51:58
SPEAKER_02: Oh, we the oh we the we the lowest of the lowest now.
52:00
SPEAKER_02: I don't think, I don't think.
52:02
SPEAKER_02: And I can women and men, men and women, but I don't, men, men and men especially.
52:06
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if the woman knows how much it kills our ego and our pride when the woman that we we love, the woman we want to express our love to, make love to, tells us, no.
52:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's gonna hurt you.
52:18
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter.
52:19
SPEAKER_02: And I know it's some men out there that done went through that.
52:22
SPEAKER_02: It's gonna hurt you.
52:22
SPEAKER_02: But stay the course.
52:24
SPEAKER_02: Stay the course, bro.
52:25
SPEAKER_02: Keep fighting for it.
52:26
SPEAKER_02: Women recognize what you did.
52:27
SPEAKER_02: Men, it might have been you that told the woman, though.
52:29
SPEAKER_02: It ain't always the women, it could be a man too.
52:32
SPEAKER_02: Like, just understand, like we, like y'all in this thing together.
52:35
SPEAKER_02: Y'all in this thing to be intimate with each other.
52:37
SPEAKER_02: If I didn't want to be married to you, I could have just did it with anybody.
52:40
SPEAKER_02: Or I could have just stayed single and just started just freaking on anything.
52:44
SPEAKER_02: I decided to get my knee dirty, go by their ring, and say, Will you marry me?
52:49
SPEAKER_02: They come with a responsibility.
52:51
SPEAKER_02: And part of their responsibility, ma'am, part of their responsibility, sir.
52:54
SPEAKER_02: It's to make sure.
52:56
SPEAKER_02: It's to make sure that the baby.
52:57
SPEAKER_02: It's really intentional.
52:57
SPEAKER_02: And the baby room was on fire.
52:59
SPEAKER_02: It's on fire.
52:59
SPEAKER_02: That's part of it.
53:00
SPEAKER_02: That's it.
53:00
SPEAKER_02: That's why I said that's why I said some people come into marriage with unrealistic expectations.
53:06
SPEAKER_02: Unrealistic.
53:07
SPEAKER_02: Some women might not even, that might not even really be on their radar, especially if they love language ain't physical touch.
53:12
SPEAKER_02: They might not even really be thinking, oh, this man wanna do it.
53:14
SPEAKER_02: Or they start out strong week.
53:15
SPEAKER_02: Like, oh they start out strong.
53:17
SPEAKER_02: What's that on the merit?
53:18
SPEAKER_02: Because I feel like a lot of people come into a marriage role.
53:22
SPEAKER_02: Tired pretending.
53:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
53:23
SPEAKER_02: And I don't want to say, I ain't being funny, but you know, they come in not being their real authentic self.
53:29
SPEAKER_02: They know, oh, he liked this, so let me do it now.
53:32
SPEAKER_02: They don't put on a s they don't put on a personal side.
53:34
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
53:35
SPEAKER_02: Then later down the line, ain't feeling no kind of what he's dating, what you need to do.
53:41
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
53:42
SPEAKER_02: Slacking, all those things, man.
53:44
SPEAKER_02: So it's like, like you said, probably being intentional is like on the top.
53:49
SPEAKER_02: Gotta be intentional.
53:50
SPEAKER_02: If I make sure you please, you make sure I'm pleased, it's gonna work out.
53:53
SPEAKER_02: It's gonna work out.
53:54
SPEAKER_02: But we have to be intentional about coming together and making sure that the sex life is good, our spiritual life is good with God, you know what I'm saying?
54:00
SPEAKER_02: Say our physical, all the things, and move as one.
54:04
SPEAKER_02: Because the two shall become one.
54:05
SPEAKER_02: So we should move in agreement.
54:06
SPEAKER_02: We should move as one and take care of each other.
54:08
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
54:08
SPEAKER_02: So man, since it's important, man.
54:10
SPEAKER_02: If I knew then what I knew now, man, I would be very intentional about that.
54:14
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
54:15
SPEAKER_02: Making sure that it happens.
54:16
SPEAKER_02: Because a lot of times, I'm like you, bro.
54:18
SPEAKER_02: I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I felt some type of way, but didn't communicate.
54:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
54:22
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
54:23
SPEAKER_02: Walk around the house mad.
54:24
SPEAKER_02: You know, did you did you did you say something to a giant?
54:26
unknown: No.
54:27
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
54:28
SPEAKER_02: Say she might be feeling the same kind of way, man.
54:30
SPEAKER_02: So it's like Iron Sharp's Iron Moment, man.
54:32
SPEAKER_02: It's like learning to have those deep conversations, them tough conversations, learning to be honest with your spouse, learning to tell, you know, learning to um to uh to be, you know, I don't even know the right words I'm looking for.
54:42
SPEAKER_02: Transparent.
54:43
SPEAKER_02: But transparent, yeah, being real with them.
54:45
SPEAKER_02: Being real, laying your bar down and not being scared to say something.
54:48
SPEAKER_02: Just say it.
54:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just say it.
54:49
SPEAKER_02: Whatever you know what you want to say, you know what's in the fore, you know what's in your mind, on your lips, on your tongue.
54:55
SPEAKER_02: We know we pretend to be with feelings all the time.
54:56
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
54:57
SPEAKER_02: You gotta be real.
54:58
SPEAKER_02: That's why, like I said, I respect, uh, like I told you about a couple before.
55:02
SPEAKER_02: One of my closest friends, him and his wife, man, I respect them so much, man, because they're so real with each other, they're so transparent.
55:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
55:09
SPEAKER_02: You know, and and and and their life, their life blooms because of that.
55:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
55:13
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
55:14
SPEAKER_02: So they're honest, they they keep it 100, they they know how to they know how to do the iron sharpness, iron to keep God first.
55:20
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
55:22
SPEAKER_02: So they know how to have them conversations and them tough conversations, and they know how to grow and spend that time with each other and kind of put everything else, you know, forsaking all others, keeping these to themselves as long as you shall live.
55:33
SPEAKER_02: They don't put people in their marriage and nothing like that.
55:35
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
55:36
SPEAKER_02: They they just build together.
55:38
SPEAKER_02: And I think when we build together in our relationships and our marriages, man, it made the sense like pop, man, because we gotta be, we gotta be on, we gotta be on one accord for her.
55:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
55:47
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
55:48
SPEAKER_02: But you said it there, but hey.
55:50
SPEAKER_02: Yes, sir.
55:51
SPEAKER_02: Communication.
55:52
SPEAKER_02: Communication.
55:53
SPEAKER_02: Learn them love languages.
55:54
SPEAKER_02: Learn them love languages, set expectations.
55:58
SPEAKER_02: Throw it back.
56:02
SPEAKER_02: Episode eight, man.
56:04
SPEAKER_02: Sex in marriage.
56:05
SPEAKER_02: I hope we done said something that resonated in somebody's spirit, and we hope we done said something that's gonna like that fi.
56:10
SPEAKER_02: Like that fi.
56:11
SPEAKER_02: Back in that bedroom, man.
56:12
SPEAKER_02: Back in that bedroom.
56:13
SPEAKER_02: Light of match.
56:15
SPEAKER_02: If you ain't got no kids, y'all finna have one next year, just because of this episode right here, man.
56:18
SPEAKER_02: So with that being said.
56:20
SPEAKER_02: If I knew then what I know now, the podcast, man.
56:24
SPEAKER_02: Hey man, y'all can't.