Latest / The Shift Podcast / 135. Confidence in Uncertainty

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135. Confidence in Uncertainty · The Shift Podcast

0:00
Welcome to Frontline static, we will get to hear interviews with
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some of my clients journeys of getting into flight and how they
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utilize coaching to help them create success of getting hired
0:08
with less confusion and more ease.
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Make your dream a reality of getting into flight.
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Listen in as you hear some of the stories of the people
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getting there and come join the flight prep group.
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Hey guys, welcome to episode podcast episode 135.
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I'm titling this one Confidence in uncertainty.
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I wanted to start out with some things that are making me really
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happy right now during this holiday season and in the month
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of December. Usually this is the month where
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I'm a little bit of a Debbie Downer.
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I still am the person who waits until the last week to start
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buying Christmas presents. I know I'm terrible.
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OK, Sorry I got cut off then what I was thinking about OK,
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sorry I got cut off then what I was thinking about in years past
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years. And one thing I'm just going to
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give you guys a window into a little bit about me too and
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share with you some things that are making me really happy right
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now is one thing is my kids are really into Stranger Things and
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I know I just never got on board with it.
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I don't know why. I think I started watching maybe
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like 1 episode of Stranger Things and I just, I don't know,
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I wasn't hooked. It just didn't entertain me,
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which is weird because I like sci-fi things.
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But as you guys know who are into it, this is the last and
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final season, season 5, and they just released 4 episodes on
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Thanksgiving. And so anyway, Long story short,
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my kids are like, mom, this is the last and final episode.
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You need to get on board. I think you're going to really
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like it. You really like sci-fi.
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So I'm like, OK, so no joke, in one week, last week, I dedicated
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myself to watching all of the seasons, including the last four
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episodes. So I watched all Four Seasons,
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which had like 8 or 9 episodes in each season and then the last
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four that they just released on Thanksgiving.
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I spent a lot of time on my couch.
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But do you know what? It made me so happy.
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I really loved getting into the show.
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I love to being able to talk to about with my kids and I love
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that it's going to be releasing all the rest of the final
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episodes by the end of this month.
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So I wanted to share that with you.
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Another thing that's making me super happy right now is Diet
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Coke. I love Diet Coke, but I don't
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know, for those of you Diet Coke fans, and it might just be that
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you can get him at Costco, I'm not sure.
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But Santa is on Diet Coke right now.
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So it's another thing that's making me really happy.
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And like the third thing that I don't usually do is listen to
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holiday music. I'm listening to it all the time
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when I'm in the car, when I'm with my kids, when I'm doing
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laundry, all the time. So I wanted to give you a little
3:06
window into the world of what's making me happy right now.
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And what I've been thinking about with these podcast
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episodes is I want this to be like we're sitting down across
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the table. We're having a conversation with
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each other. I have a friend that I get
3:21
together with on a pretty regular basis.
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At least once a month. We just try to catch up with
3:25
each other's lives and find out what's going on with our kids
3:28
and her kids. And so I thought about like, I
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want every week's episode to be like that with you.
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I think about just sitting across the table having dinner
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with you and having this conversation.
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And what I'm thinking about bringing to each of these
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episodes is something that I found valuable both as a coach
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and as a healthcare worker and 1st responder.
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And what kind of might help ignite you as you are working
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your shifts and having some of these experiences.
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And so I really am curating and thinking about these topics that
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I want to bring to you and talk to you each week.
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OK. So this week for Episode 135, I
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want to talk about confidence and uncertainty.
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This is actually the very first topic that we talked about in
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the shift coaching group. This is for healthcare workers
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and 1st responders. I have about 19 people in the
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group and this is what we've discussed on our very first
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session together. We talked about how do we create
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confidence in uncertainty? How do we create confidence for
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a future that we're creating? How do we create confidence and
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a new identity that we're stepping into?
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How do we create confidence in a new role or a new department
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that we're going to work? We have this belief as human
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beings with a brain that we can't be confident about
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something until we have enough time and experience or until
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we've done it. But this is not true.
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And also we have this belief that we are only capable of
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achieving something if we've done it in our past.
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And our brain just likes to do all kinds of digging and
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searching for, OK, if I've done this in the past, then I can
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feel confident about it. Or if I didn't complete this in
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the past, then I'm probably not going to complete this for the
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future. And that limits us so much
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because then we're limited by what we've done in our past or
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what we've created in our past to create what our future is
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going to hold. And this great thing as human
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beings is that we have the capacity to do and be whatever
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we want and create that person. I can tell you with all
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sincerity now you know, retiring from flight nursing and nursing
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in general, I created a life that I've wanted, that I wanted
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four years ago when I or three years ago when I left flight
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nursing and nursing in general. I wanted to create a life with
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more time freedom where I could work and do what I love, help
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healthcare workers and 1st responders in this mental
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mindset capacity, help more people get into flight, but also
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work around my kids schedules. Like I knew they were getting
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older. I knew my three older ones going
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to be moving out and then next couple years.
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And so I wanted that time freedom that I never had before,
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especially working 48 to 72 hours a week in 2 to 324 hour
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shifts. And so I had to think about what
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do I want five years from now? And, and when I told myself that
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I knew what I wanted five years from now was time freedom to
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visit my kids at college, maybe potentially visit them as they
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started to have girlfriends and boyfriends and just have more
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time freedom. And so to create that future
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four years ago or three years ago when I left flight, I had to
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really think about becoming that future me.
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And I couldn't limit myself to what I had done in the past,
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otherwise I would have never created it because I've never
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done this before. I've worked healthcare for the
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last 15 years. And so this is what I want to
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talk to you about today is how do we step into confidence?
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How do we create certainty for our future?
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And I'm going to teach you the steps that I walk myself through
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as I do this. I have been thinking about this
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process a lot because as most of you guys know, nursing was my
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second career and then life coaching is my third.
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And I graduated UC Davis with a bachelor's in communications
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with an emphasis in broadcast journalism.
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Thought I wanted to go into that.
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I worked for an NBC affiliate for a little while and I hated
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it. I hated the hours, I hated the
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pay. I eventually went into banking
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and when I was in banking, that's when I had my twins.
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So I had three kids under the age of 2.
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I'd already had my oldest and I was like, what can I do as a
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career that feels fulfilling? And also I can spend and make
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the most out of having the most time with my kids, be a mom, and
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also have a job that I deeply desired going to.
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And that's when I decided to go to nursing school.
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So I jumped into that and then I found coaching within while I
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was a nurse, while I was a flight nurse.
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And so and then jumped into that new entity.
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And I've thought to myself, what's helped me create
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confidence with each of those jumps?
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Because we all know people who have stayed in professions their
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whole life, even if they've hated it because they feel
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stuck. And I've just never allowed
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myself to feel that way. So I started asking myself,
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what's the process that I take my myself through?
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And it really comes down to I've just decided ahead of time that
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I can be confident in uncertain situations, that I can be
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confident in something that I've never done before because I can
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grow into becoming capable in knowing how to do it.
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I'm going to figure it out. I know that's like a thought you
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guys have heard from me a lot is I'm going to figure this out.
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So I'm going to teach you the process that I walk myself
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through and ask you some questions that might help you as
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you're navigating uncertainty. As you're navigating what am I
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wanting out of the future? How do I go out there and create
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it? And then how do I create
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confidence in taking steps forward towards it?
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OK, I want to preface this with this is the thought that I have
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had to create what I want. You are who you are by the
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future you are pulled by, meaning a lot of people spend a
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lot of time with past and what they've been able to accomplish
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in the past, like I said before, to what they're capable of.
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But when I think about what I want to do, I create in my mind,
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where's the future that I want to go?
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And then I pull myself from it and I create in the present.
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Now, if I've created that future working backwards, what are some
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of the things that I would start doing now?
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And that's really ultimately how I made the decision to go full
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into being a life coach is I said, where do I want to be in
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five years? I want to have time, freedom.
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I want to spend time with my kids, eventually my grandkids
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and as my kids are starting to move out.
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And so I really started thinking, well, what are some of
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the decisions that I have to make now in my present to start
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creating that? And that was really to retire
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and leave flight nursing totally so that I could go all in as
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being a coach. And so you are who you are by
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the future you are pulled by. Decide now what is the future
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that you want and then work yourself backwards and taking
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those steps. Now, This is why creating goals
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is so important. I've always been a goal setter.
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Most of the people that I work with are high goal setters.
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But here's the big difference. I don't just create goals, I
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create big ones, not small ones, big ones, ones that are going to
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change me, ones that I have to be like, you know, I want to be
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able to have my own time freedom as an entrepreneur.
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And I've never done that before. I'm the first person in my
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family who's ever done it before.
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If I don't have an example that I can go by, how do I create
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that? I have to be willing to create a
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big goal. And I did tell myself like, I
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want to create a program and I want to coach, you know, all
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these people so that I can create this goal for myself.
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And so it's going to require you to make some big goals because
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here's the thing, if you make a small little tiny incremental
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goals, it's not going to force you to change.
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Big goals are the ones that change you.
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It forces you to step into person that you've never been
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before and be a different identity.
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Big goals require you to think different, to be different.
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The same thoughts that I've had about myself to get to where I
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am now will not be the same thoughts that are going to get
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me where I want to be in five years.
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And so now that I've really accomplished having a full time
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coaching business, having 100 people inside my flight prep
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Academy now having coached hundreds of people one-on-one
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and, and with these subsets of problems and issues, like now
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I'm at that goal that I made, you know, that I set for myself
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four years ago. And so now I need to create new
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ones. And creating big new goals is
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also going to require me to think differently.
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So this thought that I keep telling you guys, like I'm
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always going to figure it out. I love this thought.
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But also that thought isn't going to get me to the next
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level of a war. I want to be in the next 5 years
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because in the next 5 years, I want to help thousands of
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people. I want to have thousands of
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people get in the flat. I want to have thousands of
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healthcare workers and 1st responders create more
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confidence in their life. Like I want that.
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I want every person who goes to their shift to be so confident
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that they're like, I'm the person that's here today and I'm
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the person that's going to help these patients that walk through
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that door or I'm the person that's going to help these
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people. When I land at that traffic
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accident, it's, it's me and my team and I'm confident in that.
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Like that's what I want. And so to create that, I'm going
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to have to create bigger goals and think of different thoughts
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about myself. And so I want to just reiterate,
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you are who you are by the future you are pulled by.
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Also, the past does not determine our present.
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Our future determines our present.
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So just something to remember with everything that I've said
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is we can't keep looking to our past of our capability or if
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we've done it before because that's just not what's going to
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grow us into the person we want to be.
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We got to be thinking about where's the future we want to
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go? And then what is that person
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thinking who's accomplished now that big goal?
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And I can 100% say, you guys, this is how I got here before
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the five years. This is how I have achieved what
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I wanted to in my business and really helping this many people
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because I've gone to that person and said in five years, where do
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I want to be? And I've really like established
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those thoughts and really tried to step into that person.
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So what happens when we try to create confidence and
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uncertainty is or unknown is we want to go to the last most
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confident version of ourselves. So let me give you an example of
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this in flight. I see this all the time after I
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help people get hired into flight.
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There's this period of transition when you're becoming
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a flight nurse and stepping into a new identity that you've never
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been before where you're like, I don't know why this is
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happening. This isn't a common example I
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hear. I don't know why this is
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happening. I'm the type of person that gets
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along with everybody and everybody likes me.
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And then all the sudden I have people who don't like me and
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aren't agreeing with me. Like, what am I doing wrong?
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And I tell them and then they say, well, maybe I just maybe I
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just need to go back to being an ER nurse, or maybe I just need
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to go back to being a critical care nurse.
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And the reason why they want to go back to that person is
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because that's the last, most confident version of themselves.
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It's uncomfortable to step into something new.
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It's uncomfortable to establish a new identity.
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And so what's comfortable for us is we want to go to the last
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version of ourselves that was confident.
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And so this is important to recognize, this is important to
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know because when you're stepping into doing something
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new, imposter syndrome is going to come up.
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You're going to feel uncertain. And I just want to point this
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out because this is the point in time where you want to tell
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yourself, oh, this is normal. This is just me wanting to
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gravitate towards the last, most confident version of myself.
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But you have an opportunity now to grow confidence and
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uncertainty here. OK, so now that we've uncovered
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a little bit of what your brain might be telling you, I want to
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offer you the steps that I take myself through in this process
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as I'm creating a new identity. And I've been thinking this a
15:34
lot because now I'm thinking about the next five year version
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of myself and and where I want to be.
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We have an opportunity to be confident in who we are becoming
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in the identity and the future we are stepping into.
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So these I've been really, I took some time to think about
15:54
these and I wanted to make it short and concise.
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So I'm going to talk about the four steps that I take myself
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through. And then I'm going to talk to
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you about the questions within these steps that I asked myself.
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And I'm going to pause and give you guys an opportunity to ask
16:07
yourself these questions as well.
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So this is kind of the four steps that I go through as I'm
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creating a new identity, as I'm stepping into growing confidence
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and capability in in where I want to go into the future and
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in uncertain situations where I'm stepping into a new
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identity. OK, so number one, Step 1, you
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want to get grounded in your values.
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You want to know what is it that you value and be really clear
16:38
about it. For me, I know my values.
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This is what I'm really clear about.
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The top three things that I value is honesty, transparency,
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and integrity. That's what I've ran my life by
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as I was a young kid, as I was a nurse, as I was a flight nurse,
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as now I am as an entrepreneur. Integrity, honesty and
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transparency are something that I deeply, deeply value.
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And so get really clear. What are the things that you
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value? What, what are the attributes
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about yourself that you value? What do you value in other
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people? What do you value?
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And find out what those are. OK #2 Step 2, Create trust
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within yourself. Know what it's like to deeply
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trust yourself and your process you take yourself through #3 You
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guys, this is a big one that my coach, my business coach has
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taught me this year. My business coach is Stacey
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Bayman. And what she really teaches me
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is desire. You got to have desire.
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Desire is so important because on the days where maybe you're
17:50
not motivated or you feel like you have like grasping for
17:53
motivation. If you desire something, then
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you don't need motivation. If you have your why and you
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deeply desire to to do the thing, become the person, get to
18:04
flight nursing, be the entrepreneur, then when you
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ingrain that desire, OK, sorry, I got cut off.
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But what I was thinking about for the third one is when you
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have desire, then you don't need motivation.
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So deeply anchoring and desire. And I'm going to talk about the
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questions for each of these. Coming up along with desire is
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giving your time, yourself time to think, quieting your
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surroundings, turning off your devices, turning off the TV, and
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just giving yourself time to think about what you really
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want, what you really desire. OK, this is a four step and then
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I'm going to talk to you about questions for each of them.
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The four step is being willing to feel any emotion, not fearing
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the emotion that's going to come up, but expecting it to come.
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OK, those are the four steps. Be grounded in your values.
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Number one, creating trust within yourself.
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Number 23, desire over motivation and giving yourself
19:05
time to super think. And then four, being willing to
19:07
feel any emotion, not fearing it, but expecting it to come up
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as you're stepping into an uncertainty and new identity.
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OK, this are the questions that go with each step that I ask
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myself and I think will be really value valuable for you to
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think about too. OK, number one, this one's
19:25
pretty clear. Step one, what is it that I
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value? Ask yourself what that is.
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Again, for me, integrity, honesty, transparency, Those are
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the three things I value. Those are the three things I'm
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looking for in relationships that I have in my life and
19:41
people that I get close to. Like this is I, I look for this
19:47
and people that come and join my programs like I do, these are
19:50
things that I'm looking for. So get clear.
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Ask yourself, what is it that I value #2 Step 2.
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Here are some questions with Step 2.
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Step 2 is finding the process, trusting yourself.
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So some questions I ask myself is when I'm listening to my gut
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or my intuition, what does that feel like for me?
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What is my process that I take myself through when I'm thinking
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about trusting my gut and my intuition, For example, there's
20:22
lots of times, and this took a lot of trial and error and a lot
20:25
of mistakes in my critical care game, my critical care career.
20:32
The monitor can look great, the patient can look fine, labs can
20:36
look perfect. There's that little part of me
20:39
that's like something's going to go wrong.
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That's my gut. That's my intuition.
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That's how I listen to it. It's like the little Spidey
20:45
sense inside of me where it's like, oh, I just feel like
20:48
something's going to go wrong. I've learned to listen to that
20:50
over time. And so that's, that's what I
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I've honed in, I've practiced. Ask yourself what that is for
20:57
you. OK, some questions that go along
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with this is figuring out your intuition in your gut is who do
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I want to be in uncertain situations?
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Get really clear about this. You guys do.
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Who do you want to be in uncertain situations?
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For me, in uncertain situations, I want to be the calm in the
21:15
storm. I want to be the one that always
21:20
tells myself if I don't know it, I know exactly who I'm going to
21:24
ask to figure it out, right? You know exactly the resource.
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I'm going to keep asking. I'm going to ask a lot of
21:29
questions. I'm going to do a lot of
21:30
research. I'm going to be willing to also
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say in uncertain situations, I don't know this, can you explain
21:37
this to me? I'm that person.
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That's who I want to be in uncertainty.
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I don't want to be the person this has been me in the past.
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I don't want to be the person who's reactionary, starts to
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blame other people, becomes a victim.
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I know that's not who I want to be.
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So get really clear of who do you want to be in uncertainty.
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And sometimes if you don't know the answer to this, it starts
21:57
with asking yourself what are you certain of?
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And when I ask myself what am I certain of?
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I am certain that I know that I will keep asking until I find an
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answer. I'm certain that I know I'm
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willing to ask the tough questions even if it makes that
22:16
person uncomfortable that I'm asking.
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I'm certain that I know I will not take no for an answer if I
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know I need to get it for my patient, that's what I'm certain
22:25
of. And so maybe if, if you don't
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know how to answer, who do I want to be?
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And then certain, maybe you start with, well, what am I
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certain of? OK, this is step three.
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What do I desire? Again, remembering desire
22:38
overrides motivation. This is the third one.
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What do I desire? That's your question.
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What do I if I deeply quiet the noise, if I give myself to time
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to think with nothing going on, no TV, no phone, no Internet, no
22:55
ChatGPT, no any of those things. What do I desire in my life?
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What do I desire in this world? What do I desire in five years?
23:05
What do I desire in 10 years if I didn't limit myself?
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Really spend time with answering that question and don't judge
23:11
yourself for what comes up. You know, you guys, I, I told my
23:15
husband when we first got married, I knew I wanted to be a
23:17
workhorse. I knew I would deeply desired to
23:20
work and help other people. And you know, just to I, I felt
23:26
really good working. I'd worked growing up and I
23:30
just, I really, I felt good in that.
23:32
So I told him that. But five years ago, I, my desire
23:37
changed. I really wanted to be with my
23:39
kids before they moved out. And with 0 judgement on
23:43
yourself, you know, Yeah, I really wanted that for a long
23:47
time. But now can it be OK that 35
23:51
years later, I don't want it anymore?
23:54
And just really allowing yourself to to ask yourself what
23:57
you desire, even if it's a totally different than maybe
24:00
what it was last year, OK #4 is being willing to feel any
24:04
emotion. So these are the questions I
24:06
have for this. It's going to require three
24:09
emotions, both negative and positive for you to become the
24:12
next version of yourself. And I say 3 because I don't want
24:15
to just give you give ourselves one.
24:17
I want to talk about like what are the three emotions?
24:20
So three negative emotions and three positive emotions.
24:25
When I step into this new identity or when I step into
24:27
where I want to be in the future or uncertain situations, what
24:31
are three negative emotions that I know I'm going to feel?
24:35
For example, for me, I know I'm going to feel doubt, fear and
24:40
imposter syndrome. Those are three negative
24:43
emotions that I know as I step into what I want in the next 5
24:46
years, those are three that are going to come up for me.
24:49
So with fear, doubt and imposter syndrome, the follow up question
24:53
for this is what are the three positive emotions required to
24:57
outweigh those? Now here's what I want to tell
25:00
you. Is that OK?
25:02
You can pick calm, peace, certain, but calm peace and
25:10
certain. Sometimes if your negative
25:12
emotion is like fear for example, we can't get to calm
25:18
and peace. So your 3 positive emotions have
25:21
to be able to outweigh the three negative ones that you picked.
25:24
So for example, I think one of my positive emotions that I have
25:30
to pick to help fear, doubt, an imposter syndrome is grit.
25:34
I have to have grit for one of them.
25:36
My second one that I know I have to have is courage.
25:41
I want to get to calm and grounded and certain.
25:43
But you know what? I don't think those three things
25:46
are going to outweigh the fear, the doubt and of imposter
25:50
syndrome. So I know grit, courage and
25:56
confidence is going to be my third one or what's going to
26:00
help outright weigh the three. So you want to pick 3 positive
26:03
emotions that are going to definitely outweigh some of
26:05
these negative. Now, when I say outweigh, I
26:07
don't mean you're not going to experience the negative ones.
26:09
I just say the when you're generating these positive ones,
26:13
they got to be bigger than the negative ones that you're
26:16
feeling sometimes and they got to be.
26:18
And for me, grit is like encourage or like help, help
26:21
motivate me and move me when I'm experiencing those.
26:24
So it's being willing to feel those three negative emotions,
26:27
not fear and expect them and name them.
26:30
Be real with yourself. What does it feel like for you
26:32
and your body when you experience those?
26:33
And then what are the three positive emotions that you're
26:35
going to need to generate to step into that new identity?
26:38
It's going to require deciding and making decisions ahead of
26:41
time. I am going to be talking about
26:45
this on another podcast episode, but you want to be a good
26:50
decision maker. And then one of the thing that I
26:54
want to offer, just like I said last week, if you caught last
26:57
week's episode, is I know these four steps seem really simple,
27:01
but sometimes they're the hardest part and you want to
27:03
practice getting into momentum. You want to practice again,
27:06
putting that car into gear. You can't go from neutral to 5th
27:10
gear. And sometimes we try to do that
27:12
as we try to manhandle, handle our goals and our dreams.
27:14
You got it. Just the hardest part is getting
27:16
into first. And so the hardest part is like,
27:18
answer these four, these questions and follow these four
27:23
steps. Get the car in gear.
27:25
And I promise as you create momentum, it will become easier.
27:28
So I'm going to go over the four steps again.
27:30
Ground yourself in your values, create trust within yourself,
27:33
desire over motivation, and be willing to feel any emotion.
27:39
This is how we confidently step into a new identity.
27:42
This is how we confidently step into something we've never done
27:45
before. This is how we act from the
27:47
future that we are pulled by. This is how we get clarity of
27:50
what is next. If you know that you want
27:53
flight, join us inside the Flight Prep Academy.
27:55
This is exactly what we're doing.
27:57
And if you know that you want more of this general life
28:00
coaching, this is hitting you. You're like a healthcare work on
28:03
a first responder. You get this.
28:06
Stay tuned for our next enrollment dates for the shift
28:08
coaching group. You can join my e-mail list and
28:12
be the first to know. This is for any healthcare
28:14
worker and 1st responder. That's it this week, you guys.
28:17
I hope that really helped you create some confidence in
28:20
stepping into uncertainty and give you kind of a process and
28:23
some questions to ponder to start doing that.
28:26
I thought this was really appropriate because we're ending
28:28
the year and I know you guys are probably getting ready to think
28:31
about what's next for next year. And so I hope this is helpful
28:35
for you in starting to be confident in something that
28:38
you've never done before. OK, that's it this week, you
28:41
guys, we'll see you next week. Bye.
28:42
If anything in this episode sparked your interest into
28:45
getting into flight, come join my flight pipe group.
28:48
We are an entire community that meets together on a weekly basis
28:51
with an ongoing group chat. And if you are already flying
28:54
and you are currently a flight nurse or flight medic, you can
28:56
join my all flight clinician group as well.
28:58
You can click on the link to join in the show notes or you
29:00
can DM me on Instagram. I hope to see all of you guys
29:02
inside.