Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #429 Tip For the Day #4 - Praise for Brilliance

Transcript

#429 Tip For the Day #4 - Praise for Brilliance · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
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  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: wants answers. Now. Hello, this is doctor Justin Coulson. Today
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: it's a holiday in Queensland, so we're keeping it short
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: and simple so that we can focus on time with
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  Speaker 2: our family and so that you can focus on time
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: with your family as well. Today's podcasts just a sixty
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  Speaker 2: second tip for making your family happier. Do you get
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: excited when your kids get everything right or do you
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: get excited when your children make mistakes and feel like
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  Speaker 2: what they're doing is hard. Studies show that when we
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  Speaker 2: praise or reward kids for being brilliant, they actually get
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  Speaker 2: caught up in proving how good they are, and this
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  Speaker 2: leads to them avoiding things that they could fail at
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  Speaker 2: because failure might mean that they're not so good after all.
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  Speaker 2: But research also shows that when children make mistakes and
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  Speaker 2: we celebrate their determination and persistence, they develop what's called
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  Speaker 2: a mastery focus, and they get excited about challenges and
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  Speaker 2: they even accept failure. They're never going to be excited
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: about failing, nobody ever is, but they recognize that challenge
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  Speaker 2: and failure means that they're mastering they're getting better. It's
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  Speaker 2: a counterintuitive finding for confident children. Focus on process, effort,
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  Speaker 2: and mastery, not outcome. Teach kids that failures are opportunities
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  Speaker 2: to learn, and if success comes easy, play it down, apologize,
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  Speaker 2: say I'm so sorry for giving you something so easy.
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  Speaker 2: Let's find you a real challenge so that you can
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  Speaker 2: really master this thing, and then celebrate real success, not
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  Speaker 2: by telling them how great they are, but instead by
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  Speaker 2: asking them how they think they did. It's the Happy
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Families podcast.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: to feel bad or in trouble. The Do's and donts
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: with love, compassion, and humanity. Find it now at Happy
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: families dot com, dot au slash shop.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Thanks so much for enjoying the podcast today. We really
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: hope that you get something out of it when you
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: listen to the podcast and leave ratings and reviews at
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts. Others find out about it so that they
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: can make their family happier as well. If you'd like
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: more information about making your family happy, you can get
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: it at our Facebook page Doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families,
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: or you can visit Happyfamilies dot com dot au