Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / The Plotties 2025 with Carla and Emily!
Transcript
- 0:00Hi friends, and welcome to lose the plot with Carla and Emily.
- 0:03And yes, this is that episode. It's the 2025 Ploties, our
- 0:09extremely unofficial, deeply biased award show, where we
- 0:13decide what slapped, what surprised us, and what should be
- 0:17illegal. We've got categories like most
- 0:20pygmy female character, most toxic male character, plus some
- 0:24feral honourable mentions that we could not resist.
- 1:11How do you think we went this year, Emily?
- 1:14Honestly, I think we were slacking.
- 1:17I think not really slacking this year.
- 1:20I was going through the list and I was like, damn, we didn't try
- 1:23at all. I think it's 'cause I moved.
- 1:26We're busy. Ohh yeah.
- 1:29Obviously we haven't come to me. We have a life, we're working.
- 1:33Barely, barely sliding, barely scraping by.
- 1:37We're crawling to our jobs every day.
- 1:41I feel like 2025 is just a struggle year, but that's fine,
- 1:43we got it. Every year is a stronger year.
- 1:45It's. Every year it's OK, and every
- 1:47year we've fucking got it. I've made a list of all the
- 1:54books, so this is a warning that there may be potential spoilers
- 1:59for the following books. Lightlock by Alex Astor, The
- 2:04House Made by Freedom McFadden, Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.
- 2:08Quicksilver by Kelly Hart. Lights Out by Naveessa Allen,
- 2:11The UN Honeymooners by Christina Lauren, Five Brothers by
- 2:15Penelope Douglas. 50 Shades of Grey by EL James, Mile High by
- 2:19Liz Tom Ford, Muscles and Monsters by Ashley Bennett,
- 2:23Flock by Kate Stewart, Beautiful Ugly by Alice Feeny, Window
- 2:27Shopping by Tessa Bailey, and Shield of Sparrows by Devney
- 2:31Perry. I feel like that's all that
- 2:35slack. You run through that?
- 2:37Really. Quickly we did a.
- 2:38Lot we did do a lot, but we could also do more.
- 2:42We could always do more. We can.
- 2:43Always do more. You know what?
- 2:46But also we could do more. I'm not promising anything.
- 2:51Also, how about we set up a Patreon and then we do more?
- 2:55After that we can do. That we can do.
- 2:59That in 2020 years I'll. Take a whole afternoon off work
- 3:03you'll. Set it up.
- 3:05Please do please decide what extra content we could even
- 3:11offer on Patreon for people. I feel like OK this is going to
- 3:15be wild. We should be behind a paywall
- 3:18because of the things. We.
- 3:20Say, like Loki. Carla has to edit out a lot I.
- 3:23Feel like I don't like that's. I feel like I don't wait.
- 3:27There are things. There are things.
- 3:29But realistically, the things we say sometimes should be behind a
- 3:32paywall just in case we don't want the children listening to.
- 3:34This no just. In a probes in.
- 3:36A probes but also not my problem.
- 3:40Our first like payer of Patreon should be a millionaire man.
- 3:47Oh, and pay so much that everyone else doesn't have to
- 3:50pay. Oh, you know what?
- 3:51I mean, yes, I don't think that's going to happen, no.
- 3:54But we're dream big. I've had a look at our demo and
- 3:58it's 85% at least female, I think, not 90%, I think 1% male.
- 4:03Beautiful So. There's always a man.
- 4:06Exactly. You're welcome.
- 4:09You are welcome here. You.
- 4:11Are you are? Welcome.
- 4:11Look, I I don't know why you're here.
- 4:14Maybe you're gay. Maybe he's just got some good.
- 4:17Humour lean maybe? Yeah, maybe.
- 4:21He's a straight. It's OK, everyone's welcome to
- 4:24pay on Patreon. US haven't got it set up, us
- 4:29advertising it. I can send my big, big deals.
- 4:32Honestly though, it's 2026, everyone's paying for
- 4:36everything, OK? Nothing's for free in this
- 4:39economy. Bro we don't even have ads so
- 4:41we're doing this with the love of the game, let's be real.
- 4:44I just like yapping. Oh. 100.
- 4:46Percent. I love a good yap.
- 4:48Bro we have pretty similar award categories to last year, I'm not
- 4:52gonna lie. Honestly, they're the only ones
- 4:55that matter. Exactly.
- 4:56We've got the important ones. We also read a lot of books that
- 5:00induce rage, so good luck to us. A lovely first category couple
- 5:06that should have broken up by the end of the book.
- 5:09Five brothers, Any of them, All of them, any of them.
- 5:12The whole book separate. Because the main pairing.
- 5:17Disgusting. Christian and Macon bacon, Yes,
- 5:21so. I don't care what anyone says,
- 5:24any single brother of that book should be single and underground
- 5:29in a hole. Because when when all going.
- 5:34Through the list. Starting out strong because when
- 5:38I read the list and I was looking at five brothers, I kind
- 5:41of thought about it as Chris, Jen and Macon because they were
- 5:44the pairing. They are the pairing, but I also
- 5:46believe that any other pairing in that book should not exist.
- 5:51Facts. And what is your main reason?
- 5:55Like why do you think that one really stood out?
- 6:00I feel like let me have a think, sorry.
- 6:05Never apologize for thinking. It's really hard when I.
- 6:08Do of. It really.
- 6:10We need more of it on this point.
- 6:11I'm trying really hard. I think she was so determined to
- 6:19just be a there's nothing wrong with being a staying home wife,
- 6:22but I think when you're 2120, why are you working so hard to
- 6:28please just a man? But she also has nothing going
- 6:32for her. But she would have, because she
- 6:34could have been a neppo baby. She could have done anything and
- 6:36I feel like I feel like you need to give yourself a chance to be
- 6:42a person separate from a man. But instead she was constantly
- 6:48trying to be anyone that any one of these brothers would have
- 6:51liked. Does that make?
- 6:52100%. And then I feel like making, I
- 6:56don't think I think he was the worst, but I feel like he was a
- 7:00further part of his life than she was and he was very settled.
- 7:04So you would say like incompatible.
- 7:07They shouldn't have even been together by the end of the.
- 7:09Book I feel like they could have been compatible, but I feel like
- 7:12they were just throwing together like they had nothing and that
- 7:15was it. I feel like it would make more
- 7:17sense if they had a lot of things and they worked together
- 7:19but it was a book about her trying to become this person for
- 7:24a man. He also he was a raging
- 7:26alcoholic and she was constantly trying to feed him and baby him
- 7:30and I just feel like. Yeah, he was at least 10 years
- 7:32older, too. Yeah.
- 7:33I think. With that book, it wasn't only
- 7:37that she was just trying to make it work with any of them to
- 7:40become the swamp mummy of the house.
- 7:42Exactly. But she was just trying to
- 7:43figure out who banged her on that couch.
- 7:46Yes, and that's who she was gonna pledge her loyalty to.
- 7:49But I that's not a good choice. But I also feel.
- 7:51Like that was very underwhelming for that to be a choice.
- 7:54Mm hmm, cause why is that the reason?
- 7:56Like you had random sex with a random guy on a couch, but your
- 8:01sex scene prior to that was you pretending to be lost and get
- 8:04napped. I feel like it was very low bar.
- 8:07With. The brother, by the way.
- 8:08With the brother, yes. Which you were fully aware.
- 8:11Of also I just don't like that book because I feel like there's
- 8:15only one that drinks alcohol and she knew he smelled like alcohol
- 8:18and she was like. Creepy.
- 8:19Exactly. Yeah.
- 8:20Also kind of rapey. Dubious consent.
- 8:23Dubious. Do you?
- 8:25How? How you fit?
- 8:26What is yours? OK, so.
- 8:28This is gonna be a bit far left because like, but it makes
- 8:31sense. OK, let's talk about Cecilia
- 8:34from Flock and mother fucking Sean.
- 8:38Whatever. Fucking that, yes.
- 8:40Fuck yes, why why why? They didn't even need to be
- 8:45together. It wasn't even fake dating or
- 8:46anything. He rocked up at that weird
- 8:48university bullshit workplace fucked.
- 8:51Is that the? Is that the conspiracy theory?
- 8:53What? Weird, weird.
- 8:55Weren't even in a relationship and she was just trying to rock
- 8:58up and be cool in the weird garage, smoking weed, drinking
- 9:01alcohol, parties with all men that they were having.
- 9:04No, Hands down best answer so far.
- 9:07That book is the weirdest fucking book I've ever read in
- 9:11my life and I know people love it and.
- 9:13Hell. I don't understand.
- 9:15People are saying the next books are better and I'm like, no,
- 9:18anything would be better than that.
- 9:19No, I've read the next book. It's worse.
- 9:22But also they tried to do the love triangle with Dominic He.
- 9:26Doesn't exist in the fucking book.
- 9:28But she's not compatible with either Sean or Dominic.
- 9:30Anyway. So you can't make a triangle.
- 9:32Work if the five part. Doesn't even fit.
- 9:34I feel like it's very similar to Five Brothers, where she is
- 9:36trying to become a person based on men.
- 9:39She wants to be in the gang though.
- 9:40Yes, that's the Denim Vipers. I don't OK.
- 9:44You're not Roxanne. No.
- 9:47You don't? I don't see.
- 9:48I don't understand this book for one of many reasons.
- 9:53We're opening. It all up we're we're we're
- 9:56coming back because I spiral about this book more and more
- 9:59each day. One Sean was fucking weird.
- 10:02Yes. Every time there's like a 60.
- 10:04Year old man conspiracy theorist in a 20s body.
- 10:07Not only that, he wasn't enjoyable to be around.
- 10:11She cooked him dinner and he yelled at her or some shit, I
- 10:13can't remember. Also the other one, Dominic
- 10:15barely existed. Yeah, stop lying to me.
- 10:18He was in there for one chapter, had enough.
- 10:21That's not a triangle. And then they add another man by
- 10:24the end of it. Remember the weird hiking date
- 10:26where he smashed her apple? I was.
- 10:28That's what I'm talking about. Could you imagine?
- 10:31There is no reason to continue on even if as a friendship even
- 10:35with Co worker because you know how they were Co workers.
- 10:37Like even as that I would never see that man again outside of
- 10:40office hours. But what do you mean?
- 10:42What do you mean that you're on this hike with this man that
- 10:44done this alone? But none of them made a decision
- 10:48to date. She just started rocking up at
- 10:50the house, remember? They didn't even like, talk
- 10:53about it. I just don't get OK, wouldn't be
- 10:56me. You wouldn't catch me going
- 10:59anywhere with a man that gave serial killer on a hike.
- 11:03Yeah, Ted Bundy vibes for sure, but not even Ted Bundy because
- 11:06he doesn't even have the social game.
- 11:08I just, I don't think any of it was enjoyable.
- 11:10But, but there was no point to that pairing.
- 11:12None of them it. Shouldn't have even been a
- 11:14romance book. Even in the second.
- 11:15We're gonna read the second one this year at some point.
- 11:17I know don't. Threaten me with a bad time.
- 11:20What do you mean? We're doing it quitting.
- 11:22The podcast. I read the second boy did this
- 11:26one. So much I don't know.
- 11:28How much like this one, The first one it's not.
- 11:30That's. Me.
- 11:31The first one's not even as bad as the second one.
- 11:33The second one is worse, which is why my anger for the series
- 11:37is so. Hard, but at least if we read
- 11:39the second of haunting Adeline we'll get views.
- 11:42But no one's reading the shit. This series is everyone's
- 11:45favorite. Everyone's.
- 11:47Favorite. You're joking.
- 11:48No, I'm not You're. Pulling me leg.
- 11:49I'm not, are you? Dead ass.
- 11:51I'm dead. I'm dead ass.
- 11:53I'm not dead. You're not say Bible, say Bible.
- 12:00I'm. Preaching.
- 12:03She's preaching stop. I haven't seen that come up on
- 12:07my full U page at. All.
- 12:08People talk about it being the best book ever and I thought it
- 12:11was going to have a little bit more substance than what it is
- 12:14when we read the second book. You are going to spiral out.
- 12:17They're having a laugh. No, they're taking the absolute
- 12:20pair. It's the most.
- 12:23If. You think she was.
- 12:26You think she was a pygmy in the first book?
- 12:28No. She beats Dena Viper's pygmy
- 12:31level. She to the top, you see going to
- 12:35it. Fucking fucking.
- 12:40Cunt of a pal. Sorry, God.
- 12:49Terrified. Okay, so if that's on the
- 12:52agenda, I'm going to pull out something extremely heinous that
- 12:55you'll hate too, so. You always do.
- 12:58Virginal illiterate challenge you've heard about every.
- 13:01Single time? Not every single time.
- 13:04About 40% of the time when you pick a book, I question it,
- 13:09dude, there was that book, there was that one book you DNF D and
- 13:14I had already made it 80% through and I was.
- 13:17Like what? Sorry for you 01 dark window.
- 13:21No, I like that book. It was.
- 13:24It was the book where it was like a murder mystery and it was
- 13:27like going back and forth between the man and the.
- 13:31Why did I DNF it? I don't.
- 13:33I think you were like, it's weird from the start.
- 13:36But he's saying something's weird.
- 13:38It's bizarre. That's insane.
- 13:42I can't remember the book but it was fucking hanging out.
- 13:44Goodreads 'cause sometimes I put a DNA.
- 13:46It was a crime. It was a crime about a crime.
- 13:49Was it like 2 years ago though 'cause I?
- 13:51Feel it was this year, I feel OK in saying that time doesn't
- 13:56exist to me and Drew anything that happened in the last four
- 14:00years happened last year so. Oh 100% that's why we look so
- 14:04young. Are we not fresh?
- 14:07Baby, let's move on because I have things to bitch about of
- 14:10those exact books that we've already mentioned.
- 14:12So we may as well keep it moving because it's going to come back
- 14:15up. Favorite couple.
- 14:17So we're trying to be positive. Here do you want to go first or
- 14:19do you want maybe? You go first.
- 14:21Quicksilver. OK.
- 14:24But I see it. Kingfisher.
- 14:26But also I just like that book. I think between all of them they
- 14:31weren't the worst. But I really love Quicksilver
- 14:34but I refuse to read Brimstone the second one because I'm
- 14:37scared that it's going to ruin it.
- 14:38I could see it though, because at least there was chemistry.
- 14:42I know they weren't the best best couple I've ever read.
- 14:45Like don't get me wrong, they could be better, but in
- 14:48comparison to all of the ones we read?
- 14:50Oh, 100% yeah, out of this lineup.
- 14:52Yeah, this lineup, bare minimum bare.
- 14:54Minimum. Like not even close.
- 14:57Can't give you a reason just other than they weren't trash
- 15:01exactly. And also they have the
- 15:03potential. Yeah, you know, like it's not.
- 15:05Believable enough to be in a romanticy.
- 15:08You know what though? Because it's such a low bar and
- 15:10the bar is in hell, they actually had conversations.
- 15:13Surprise. What?
- 15:14Surprise what? How dare they exactly.
- 15:17Chemistry wise I can't like anyone named Kingfisher but.
- 15:21That's not his. Real.
- 15:23That's not his real name. Apparently it's worse.
- 15:27So we don't read a lot of fairy books.
- 15:32Why don't they always have to have like 6 names?
- 15:34They do that because there's power and knowing their real
- 15:37name. So like for something, I think
- 15:39it's Cruel Prince, if you know their real name, you have the
- 15:43power to hold over them. So you know how in the end of
- 15:47the book he's like, I know his real name, so I can kind of get
- 15:50him to do what they want. So in that they don't give out
- 15:53their real name because they can kind of like make them mm, hmm.
- 15:57But I actually kind of fuck with Kingfisher so apparently.
- 16:00I warmed up to it towards the end.
- 16:02I just apparently his name in the real name is.
- 16:06Horrible. So I'm scared.
- 16:07Do you know what it is? No, I haven't looked yet.
- 16:09I haven't been spoiled, no. OK, I've got a Joe cancer and
- 16:12then I've got my real answer. OK so my Joe cancer is Grady and
- 16:19the nun lady from beautiful ugly the.
- 16:22Nun Lady. I I was feeling it.
- 16:25They had one conversation together.
- 16:27Grady. Most chemistry I've ever seen.
- 16:30Grady and the nun lady, Yes. Yeah.
- 16:33Claps for whatever her. Name was he never pursued her
- 16:37Dumb fuck. You're the only man on this
- 16:39whole island. You're not going to tap that
- 16:42Ridiculous, ridiculous, He. Would have fucked a wall, let's
- 16:45be real. But I felt it.
- 16:47I thought that was going to be a whole different plot line and
- 16:49the tension. And then they fucking gave us
- 16:52coat and heels. How dare they throw us in there?
- 16:56Honestly. But that was my joke answer
- 16:58because I thought you'd laugh. And then my real answer is Ali
- 17:01and Josh from Lights Out, because yes, in a weird way,
- 17:05they're both dorky and stupid enough that it worked.
- 17:08Yes, yes. They're so stupid, like there's
- 17:11no way you didn't know who that man was.
- 17:14He didn't have his voice modulated yet.
- 17:16She was like giving him head in the car.
- 17:18I feel like even though he was doing creepy shit and very much
- 17:21her vibe, he was still like driving her home and feeding her
- 17:24as well. Right?
- 17:26I feel like you win with that one that I feel.
- 17:28Station where he was in her kitchen with the mask and then
- 17:30just walked out into broad daylight or some shit.
- 17:33One who hadn't revealed himself. You don't know who that man is.
- 17:37Be so for. Real be so for real.
- 17:38He's wearing a mask in your. House in the table.
- 17:42I feel like she knew from when she went to his house and she
- 17:46was just like, I'm gonna pretend I don't.
- 17:48See you and I love that for them I.
- 17:50Would do that too. Oh, it's.
- 17:52Extreme role play and that's why I think they're compatible
- 17:54because they're both committed to the bid Yes and at least you
- 17:58understood that they at least wanted to fuck.
- 18:01Like some of these don't even make sense that they.
- 18:03They want to fuck. Like at least they want to fuck.
- 18:07It's true. Look at the light up we have.
- 18:09It looks ridiculous. You're like, look at the
- 18:12statistic. No, but look at the fucking. 50
- 18:15Shades of grey fucking no way none of these people want.
- 18:19To fuck. Sorry.
- 18:21None of them. None of them.
- 18:22I'm not believing it. I'm not believing your fake
- 18:24corniness. No.
- 18:26OK, our third award Worst villain.
- 18:30Christian Grey. Oh.
- 18:32And twisty and my reason is. Because he was supposed to be a
- 18:38villain. Exactly, he is a villain because
- 18:43in my mind he just wanted a child in my mind because if
- 18:46remember you'd say weird, weird shit to wear like you need to do
- 18:50this. And it was like childlike yes.
- 18:53I can't remember exactly. Do you mean like he wanted to
- 18:55start his legacy? And no, no, no.
- 18:58I feel like he wanted and like. To be obedient as a child to
- 19:02him. I feel like he was trying to
- 19:04force her into her being childlike, like a low leader.
- 19:08Like low leader, You know what I mean?
- 19:10Like I feel like he he was trying so hard to put her in a
- 19:15box like a child. So rather than submissive, you
- 19:20think he's taking it even further to be like?
- 19:23A. Complete role play parent child.
- 19:26No, I think like he's using that as a guise for the fact that he.
- 19:32Is a predator. He is a predator, but he's not a
- 19:35predator. Does that make sense?
- 19:36Like right? Also it's he was weird.
- 19:38But amongst all the classic controlling DV as well.
- 19:43So like, not only that. The stalking, the DV, the.
- 19:47The her going out of town one day and he decides to set up a
- 19:50date with his ex who groomed him.
- 19:52Exactly. That's going out of your way.
- 19:55But when I say like trying to make her a child, I feel like
- 19:58he's trying to recreate the grooming of.
- 20:03Yeah. Him but doing it, yeah, doing it
- 20:06reverse. But also she's age appropriate
- 20:09so it's fine, but he's like trying to fit her in a box as
- 20:12like a 15 year old. Does that make sense?
- 20:14Yeah, like he's trying to replicate.
- 20:16Yeah, what happens I. Read this book when I was 18 and
- 20:19I've really fucked with it, but I think when you read this book
- 20:21at 30 and you're like, yeah. Who is even supposed to be?
- 20:26Because in that book, his. Ex.
- 20:28Is supposed to be the villain of the book.
- 20:31Yes. It's not giving villain.
- 20:33No. With she feel bad for Christian
- 20:36Grey, I don't feel bad. I don't feel bad.
- 20:38I feel bad for the grooming. I don't feel bad for him as an
- 20:41adult. That's what I mean, yeah.
- 20:42I don't feel there's no excuse for his behaviour.
- 20:45No. Also, if you're gonna have a
- 20:47movie about a billionaire, at least give us some nice clothes
- 20:50or nice architecture. What the fuck is this shit?
- 20:54But also like why you finding the me quiet virginal girl?
- 21:00You want this lifestyle find someone that fits it instead of
- 21:02forcing her to decide that's what she wants.
- 21:06I. Think that's part of the
- 21:06control. Yes.
- 21:08He's like lifting her up from this weird poverty level and
- 21:11yeah, then she owes him everything.
- 21:13Exactly. Tell me about the fucking
- 21:15helicopter ride in the dark. What the fuck was that about?
- 21:18Exactly why is it never dark? It never fucking ends.
- 21:23Oh, and then like when you go into book 2 or the movie 2,
- 21:27right? He buys the company she's
- 21:30working for. Right, OK, my worst villain is
- 21:33literally everyone in Shield of Sparrows because quite literally
- 21:39every character was the villain. Oh yeah.
- 21:42Everyone. Yeah, absolutely everybody.
- 21:44Everybody. Everybody.
- 21:46Absolutely everybody in the whole wide world.
- 21:51Like everyone. Mum, mum, dad, stepmom.
- 21:54Her chambermaids. Her fucking first husband.
- 21:57Her fucking second husband. The fucking guardian.
- 21:59The groomer. Fucking Garrett.
- 22:03The. Dad, her sister.
- 22:05The King. Fucking what's his face?
- 22:07The guardian's mom. Like everyone's the bad guy.
- 22:10Yeah. Mic drop the end.
- 22:13Just. Follow villains.
- 22:15Like just give me one. Like what?
- 22:19That's the answer I was expecting.
- 22:21I know, I think because it was fresh in my memory.
- 22:24Fuck all of you, there's too many.
- 22:27It was just confusing. Yeah, no one needs that.
- 22:29You need 1 clear villain. But I also think it it made it
- 22:34so you didn't know what was happening.
- 22:37I didn't know what was happening at.
- 22:39Any time you didn't know because the mum was not the villain, I
- 22:42would have thought she was never the clear villain.
- 22:46No. It's fucking weird.
- 22:47Which kind of made. It interesting at the same time
- 22:49because you're like who's actually out together and who's
- 22:51trustworthy at the same time. Normally there's at least a
- 22:55villain that's driving the plot forward.
- 22:59So anyway, that's my I mean. Technically, the real villain of
- 23:02that book was driving the plot forward.
- 23:04Wait, who are you? Who would you consider the real?
- 23:06Villain The Mum. Yeah, but you find that out at
- 23:08the end. So it's kind of like but.
- 23:10She's sneakily in the background, knowing all of this
- 23:12while. Everyone's struggling.
- 23:13I hate that, though, because if you, if you weren't there for
- 23:16all of that, what does it matter to you when you find that out at
- 23:18the end? Yeah, our next category is Best
- 23:22Villain. Best villain?
- 23:23Nina from the Housemate? Yes.
- 23:26I actually Loki love Nina. I fuck with Nina.
- 23:29Are we going to go see the movie?
- 23:30Yes, because I actually want to and we should probably go see it
- 23:33before it's not legit because we probably have to go see it soon.
- 23:39Yeah, I'm down. So why did you pick Nina?
- 23:42I feel like she was so crazy, every bit of her of like what
- 23:47she was doing, her end goal, the reason she went into being a
- 23:52villain all made sense. So it's valid.
- 23:54It's valid. So she's like a complex villain.
- 23:57Fuck these villains doing OK. Hear me out.
- 24:00Fuck these villains doing the like I want the world to end or
- 24:04I want to control the world and no I'm here.
- 24:06For a villain. That was trapped and then is
- 24:10weaseling her way out of it in the in most thought out possible
- 24:14way. Fuck everyone else because her
- 24:17reason is the most valid reason and everything she did was
- 24:21perfect. And the ironic thing is she was
- 24:23one of the main female characters, yes.
- 24:25So she isn't supposed to be the villain.
- 24:27No, but she kinda is. If you're looking at Millie's
- 24:29perspective, yes, 'cause she throws her under the bus.
- 24:32Exactly. 'Cause technically the husband's
- 24:34the villain, right? But yeah, fuck that man Fuck
- 24:37that. Who?
- 24:37Cares about the categories that we've got picked.
- 24:40Let's just go against all the rules like who cares?
- 24:43Everything we're picking is not even like he's.
- 24:46He's just doing weird DV shit. Oh, exactly.
- 24:48Exactly where is this boring? It's so much more exciting
- 24:52finding out that she's not crazy.
- 24:54So what I'm hearing is we should do, because apparently Never Lie
- 24:58by Freda McFadden is very popular.
- 25:01Yes. So maybe we should do that one
- 25:03this year. Yes, and we're adding we got two
- 25:06book picks. That's what I mean.
- 25:07We're getting ideas. We're getting ideas, Fuck.
- 25:09Andrew. Fuck that man, Fuck him.
- 25:12You're. Basic face.
- 25:15Whatever his name is, Hot Guardian Man, Hot Garden Man was
- 25:21it was very. Obvious Enzo or something?
- 25:24And yes, it was very obvious. It was very.
- 25:26Yeah, fuck Andrew. No, and sorry.
- 25:29Andrew is a loser. Let's be real.
- 25:31A. 100% loser. You know that man doesn't wipe
- 25:33his ass. What 100% doesn't wipe his ass?
- 25:36Big cheese for days. Honestly, by the time we see the
- 25:39movie, I've forgotten the ending.
- 25:42I'll just be shocked. Anyway, okay, that's a good
- 25:45choice. So I'm gonna go for best
- 25:46villain. You're not going to be surprised
- 25:49at all. It's so dumb.
- 25:52Jade from Muscles and Monsters. Oh my God.
- 25:54The ex-girlfriend that's in for one minute's time.
- 25:58So she's the ex-girlfriend of Atlas who rocks up at the gym
- 26:01one day and is all like, I was going to invite him to go
- 26:05running, slay and then fucking. What's the face?
- 26:09Tegan rocks up at the gym and it's like trying to defend him
- 26:14and shit. And then she's just like, EW,
- 26:17who is this literal mortal peasant that's coming up to me?
- 26:22And honestly, get it girl. Because she wanted a nice big
- 26:25house. Yes, Atlas didn't want it.
- 26:28He wanted to live in a dilapidated rental with a
- 26:30beanbag. She elevated his whole last
- 26:32lifestyle. Yes, and then she got none of
- 26:35the benefits, God forbid. And then he it's his choice to
- 26:39stay. Down she was sucking hairy Dick.
- 26:44For what for? What?
- 26:45No, but it was so good because she was such a non event.
- 26:47She just dipped in and then we were all supposed to just hate
- 26:50her and I was like an icon, an actual character.
- 26:54And then she left and it wasn't even a problem.
- 26:57I'm like OK. Like that's not she.
- 27:00Could have done more but still villain.
- 27:02She didn't even swear to break them apart or anything.
- 27:05No, she did fuck. She calls to.
- 27:06Havish and like me, like just doing absolutely nothing and
- 27:10then just being in everyone's mind. 24 seen.
- 27:13For no fucking reason though, what I.
- 27:15Mean just like. Who cares?
- 27:17Who cares They're. Gonna be worried about me.
- 27:18I'm not doing fuck all to you. She's like imagine been mad at
- 27:26me when I just cause havoc and then she's gone home to her nice
- 27:29house. Exactly.
- 27:30Fluffy slippers, tea, coffee in bed like she's flipping.
- 27:34Probably fucking, probably, probably fucking.
- 27:37Exactly. God forbid.
- 27:39As if she's not fucking. It's fine.
- 27:41She was the she. Was.
- 27:43She's the best one, Best villain.
- 27:45Because like, who the fuck else was even the villain?
- 27:47I'm just I'm scrolling back up to the books.
- 27:50Atlas and. It was very hard to even
- 27:52identify half of these. Villains.
- 27:53The villain was the wolfman licking his fingers after
- 27:57picking cake off the road. That Atlas, Yes, but I'm like
- 28:03thinking about these other books.
- 28:05I mean what the fuck villain where beautiful ugly.
- 28:09It was the whole lesbian cold. That was weird.
- 28:11That was. Just great.
- 28:12He was the villain. Who cares?
- 28:13Yeah, he was a villain. Duh.
- 28:16Everyone was a villain. It's.
- 28:17Classic. This has been a weird mix of
- 28:19books. To choose from.
- 28:20Oh. My God, honestly, across the
- 28:22board. It was really hard to pick
- 28:23anyone for any category. Hey, shit, All right, Favorite
- 28:29character or you? Carry on Smith a swift
- 28:33Quicksilver, the Ranger side man I love.
- 28:38I know nothing about it. No, hear me out, hear me out
- 28:42because I think last year my favorite character was Riddick.
- 28:46I just love the. Comedic reliefs.
- 28:50Yes, but it has to be a man and it has to be hot.
- 28:54Hot man Funny, Not a problem. Yep.
- 28:59But yeah, I feel like out of all of them.
- 29:01Wow, obscure pic, yeah. So they're not a problem.
- 29:05They don't do anything. I think there's a chapter where
- 29:08he falls asleep and they're getting hammered by vampires.
- 29:11Like I just. I.
- 29:14Just think it's funny like I. Like you can relate to that.
- 29:16You're like cool, cool, 'cause I woke up in chaos.
- 29:19All the time. I do love a Bantry character.
- 29:22Like a side character Bantry cat.
- 29:24Yeah. Like they make no sense in all
- 29:26the sense, you know what I mean? Like also, I love banter.
- 29:30That's like Loki annoying harassment but it's funny and
- 29:35not rape your or anything. Like he's just annoying for the
- 29:38sake of being annoying. Nice.
- 29:40It was. It was a hard line up, sorry.
- 29:42That's what I mean. I was like my options were
- 29:45small. Exactly.
- 29:46I don't think I had another option.
- 29:48So this is very much in line with your previous answer, but I
- 29:52picked Nina from. House making ballad because
- 29:55iconic iconic hello. Favorite character?
- 29:58If it wasn't Nina, it would probably be Jade.
- 29:59She was doing the work. She was doing the work she.
- 30:02Cared. She.
- 30:04Did enough. I'm like, I just, you gotta be
- 30:07some type of woman to be able to think on the spot in high stress
- 30:11all the time. He was giving what's her name
- 30:13from Gorn girl. Not a clue.
- 30:16You still haven't seen it? I've been telling you to go
- 30:18watch the movie at least because the main character is very Nina
- 30:21manipulates the whole story. So you've got to actually watch
- 30:24it because you'll love the movie.
- 30:25I will. So we don't need to go into Nina
- 30:27too much. We've already talked about it.
- 30:29She she was my favorite. She'd be icon.
- 30:31What more can I say? Now I know this is your most
- 30:34hated aspect of any book. Worst confession of love?
- 30:39See, I can't do it to let down to a type.
- 30:43OK. But it was 100% in block.
- 30:47What even happened? Exactly exactly.
- 30:50I know I feel like it was when he was trying to convince her to
- 30:53trust him. In my mind I'm picturing the
- 30:56scene where she's cooked him dinner and he's come home late
- 30:59and he was trying to convince her to trust him and he was like
- 31:02I just hate myself and EW. That's the only one I can think
- 31:07of for this year. Yeah, I try to let not let them
- 31:10stay in my mind. And it wasn't even a confession
- 31:13of love, was it? It was a full manipulation.
- 31:15Yeah, but I feel like he was using the roundabouts of
- 31:19confessing his love to manipulate her.
- 31:22Didn't he literally break up with her in that conversation?
- 31:25Essentially. I don't know.
- 31:27Hey. Like how do you go from breaking
- 31:28up with someone to. From what I in my mind, I'm
- 31:31probably really really wrong. I feel like he's like, I love
- 31:33you but I just can't. Like I feel like that's what it
- 31:36was. The Uno reverse anything.
- 31:39In that book. Flop.
- 31:40Or the second one. Any confession of love is the
- 31:43worst thing I've ever read. Do people really do the Uno
- 31:47reverse in real life? Do you think they ever do that?
- 31:49Do you think someone ever goes I love you but I can't?
- 31:52Yes, disgusting. Hate yourself for that.
- 31:56Hate yourself for that, because there's no.
- 31:58Way. That those words that would come
- 32:00out of your fucking mouth. Put yourself in a fucking
- 32:03corner. Absolutely.
- 32:05Turn around, turn it around and cry.
- 32:08Look. In that corner.
- 32:08Like fucking Super Nanny just chucked you in there.
- 32:12Think. About your.
- 32:13Fucking spank your own ass. Yeah, go in the fucking self
- 32:18spanking corner you absolute piece of shit.
- 32:23Like what? What?
- 32:25What? Like what?
- 32:29Chickens. I just I.
- 32:32Probably really can't love you. I love you, but I can't be in a
- 32:35relationship. I then shut up.
- 32:38I don't know if it did happen, but I feel like it did.
- 32:40But also, if that's how you feel, keep your feelings to
- 32:43yourself, don't outsource your supposed.
- 32:48Any other one wasn't as notable to me.
- 32:50OK, also I didn't I think I try to forget them.
- 32:54Yeah, because you hate them so much.
- 32:55You. Hate them every time they do it
- 32:58do it do it short and do it speak.
- 33:01Why are we doing a full speech 4 pages long of shit no one would
- 33:07fucking say to each other? Bring it down.
- 33:11Yeah, make it snappy. Or hear me out, show it in your
- 33:15actions, right? I love a book when they're like,
- 33:18oh, they're doing this for me. Like it's in the background and
- 33:21you're like, oh, it's there. I will.
- 33:23Even accept running in with a matching Christmas robe at the
- 33:27end. Exactly.
- 33:29I will accept that. That is.
- 33:30Fine, that should have been the one for me, but that one was
- 33:34fine. Exactly.
- 33:36I just think any words out of any of the characters now, as in
- 33:40Flock, was heinous. So that's my fair.
- 33:44That's how I confounded that decision.
- 33:46OK, now this one's a bit. You might have forgotten about
- 33:48it as you mentioned before. OK, Ethan from the UN
- 33:52Honeymooners rocking up at Olive's family restaurant in the
- 33:56lime green crop top. I did.
- 34:00That was made out of her bridesmaid's stress to confess
- 34:03his feelings and apologise to her all in one go.
- 34:08And all his family were there to witness that, Remember.
- 34:11Stop. And wasn't he scooching around
- 34:13on the ground or something? Oh my God.
- 34:15Didn't we? Say that he was twerking on the
- 34:18ground like he. Booked that that hole.
- 34:23At her restaurant and he was wearing a lime green.
- 34:26Cock no stop it. I that has never entered my mind
- 34:32that so the podcast went in and went out.
- 34:36That's a crime. That's a crime.
- 34:38That's a crime. How many years, Joe?
- 34:41House arrest. I, no, I the pair of anguish.
- 34:46I was like, I was rattling through torture tactics then
- 34:52yeah, the chair even. Like why even just organized to
- 34:58have a conversation? Like why not have the whole
- 35:00family there for added pressure? You know what I mean?
- 35:02Like why not? I would be like, I have to say,
- 35:06The thing is The thing is one thing to know about me.
- 35:10If someone did that kind of pressure to me, I would say no
- 35:14because they added the pressure. I could really, really want that
- 35:17engagement, but you've now added fifty other people's feelings to
- 35:20it. Fuck you and.
- 35:21They're all families, not randoms.
- 35:22In a restaurant, it's different. Like, you know what I mean?
- 35:26I don't know what I'd do. I feel like, wasn't this a fine
- 35:28man? Wasn't he attractive?
- 35:30Yeah, I'd also. Just in public and then be like
- 35:33what the fuck. But also.
- 35:34Didn't they do like weird? Shit.
- 35:36No, no, the food poisoning was not them, Don't worry.
- 35:39No. No, they they made it.
- 35:40Why? They made it through the
- 35:41wilderness room. That's how they got on the honey
- 35:45room. Cast iron stomachs over here.
- 35:49I'm glad you forgot it because it was like it was traumatizing
- 35:52you all over again. OK moving on.
- 35:55And this doesn't have to be a specific trope, but we just had
- 35:57general worst trope usage. See, I have two and I don't know
- 36:02which one I was picking. We will go through both.
- 36:05We we've got all day, babe. Five brothers anus a crime,
- 36:09second one Mile High. Oh which trope the whole book?
- 36:14My worst trope for a Mile High I think is the pick me oversized
- 36:20girl ballad. Valid, but why are you making
- 36:23her a slop? Yeah, I know.
- 36:25Why Russell do jimmies? It did.
- 36:27Why are you making her unhygienic?
- 36:29Why are you making her the biggest pick?
- 36:31Me. No woman is on that level unless
- 36:35they're going through deep, deep depression.
- 36:37Like, let's be something real. Yeah, she was supposed to have
- 36:39everything else in her life. But like the it's like I don't
- 36:43need his money. I'll just wear my holy
- 36:45sweatpants. Grow up.
- 36:47It didn't fit the character. No, she wasn't a slob.
- 36:50She was, but she. No, but the way she described
- 36:53her was a slob. Yeah, but she as a character.
- 36:57You're a flight attendant. They're not slops.
- 36:59You're not a. Slob.
- 37:00That, yeah, that makes sense. You know what I mean?
- 37:02Remember, she was like, I've got mustard on my chin, my shirt, in
- 37:05my hair. And she's walking up to the bar,
- 37:07sitting at the bar. Exactly whatever trope that's
- 37:11fucking called, I don't. Even know if that's.
- 37:13AI don't know if that's a trope. Maybe it's just assuming people
- 37:17who are overweight are sloppy. But five brothers?
- 37:21Girl, that's a mess. Someone used to sit down with
- 37:24Penelope Douglas and ask her what the fuck is with her books.
- 37:27I feel like she's. What's up?
- 37:29But she's making a lot of money, no?
- 37:31Exactly I feel like she sits down and she's like what can I
- 37:35add to fuck up? I hope she does.
- 37:38She does. I feel like she's like how can I
- 37:40fuck with people and see if I can get away with it?
- 37:42She borderlines incest every single time.
- 37:47She pushes that boundary Every. Single time people eat it up.
- 37:52And I think we all read it because we're like, the fuck is
- 37:55going on and then we just move past it like no tomorrow.
- 37:58But incest trope, what else is in there?
- 38:02Everything. I think it's the sort of female
- 38:05gang leader trope like the pick. Yeah, the.
- 38:08Pick me. I don't know, it's just every.
- 38:10She makes her own tropes like Penelope God knows in a league
- 38:13of her own a. List of tropes on the wall
- 38:15Because sometimes there's so much going on that my brain's
- 38:18like, is this a trope or am I stupid?
- 38:23Honourable mention for one Ben Trope has.
- 38:26To be shield of. Sparrows.
- 38:28Is that your? Worst.
- 38:29No, no, no. Just honourable mention.
- 38:31Honourable mention. Because like, remember at the
- 38:33inn? At the brothels and they're sort
- 38:36of in the same room and then. It's like he's on the floor.
- 38:39I fuck with that though. Do you fuck with the one bed?
- 38:41I do. Oh, yeah.
- 38:42Mm hmm. Mm.
- 38:43Hmm. Mm.
- 38:44Hmm. Mm hmm.
- 38:46I'm putting in A1 bed trope into my book.
- 38:49I'm excited. It's a 1H bed VIP suite booking
- 38:53error trope I love. It's gonna be your brain is
- 38:56phenomenal. It's it's gonna be.
- 38:59It's gonna be. You're like I hate.
- 39:01Being made gonna do it. Yeah, I literally.
- 39:04Hate 1 bad trip? No, you're.
- 39:06Most. Hated, you know it was fake
- 39:07dating and. Yes.
- 39:08Galas. Fuck galas off no one.
- 39:12You know what? We haven't had too many galas.
- 39:14This year, no. Maybe even just a couple like
- 39:18because. Obviously I don't remember a
- 39:19single 150. Shades of Grey, but that was
- 39:22more a charity gala, right? But there was definitely Gala.
- 39:25I think I was just so distracted by everything else.
- 39:30Not mad about it, I'm okay if we phase gullers out.
- 39:33They don't need to be there. Okay, if we can hit me with your
- 39:37worst trouble. Okay, so again, sort of like
- 39:42what you did, there was almost too many tropes, but generally
- 39:45light lock for trying to put in exactly 1000 troops exactly
- 39:50ineffectively pick. One good one right here.
- 39:53Me up. Pick one good one.
- 39:55Have two subploties. Of like a main trope.
- 39:59And then a. Couple extras, a main trope that
- 40:02we're based on, and then a sneaky 1 bed.
- 40:05Like 1 bed, it's not the full trope.
- 40:06But it's a scene. It's a side chapter.
- 40:08Yeah, yeah. Hit me with two side tropes,
- 40:11yeah. Don't hit us with.
- 40:13Every trope to try and. Get it to I feel.
- 40:16Like I read the second book of Flight Lark and it was it's
- 40:20very. Cold.
- 40:21I'm not a clue. I have a lot of love for a lot
- 40:24of books. That's not one of them.
- 40:27I just think he was trying to do too much and I can't even
- 40:29pinpoint the tropes, that's why. Like they know exactly.
- 40:32It's muddy. It's muddy.
- 40:34That's all I can say about it because I can't remember because
- 40:36we did it early in the year, so I'm kind of behind.
- 40:39It's the same with like perilous those that's.
- 40:41Funny, they remind me of each other when something is Queen
- 40:45Cutter. What don't?
- 40:46We need to this year read the original.
- 40:49Peril Queen? Yes.
- 40:51Is it called Red Queen or? Yes, by Victoria Avart.
- 40:55Dude, look, we've got to write this shit down.
- 40:57I'm going to read Lie to Me, Red Queen.
- 41:00The second flock. Part 2.
- 41:03How many books is in that? Is it 3?
- 41:06There's two and I think like a like a small one.
- 41:09Can we at least not do that extra 1?
- 41:10No, I don't want to do it good. I barely need a baiting.
- 41:14Here's the thing, I barely want to do the second one.
- 41:17I just think it's will be good for us to talk about.
- 41:20I think it's a fucking horrid book.
- 41:23Then we have to do hunting Adeline yes, because that's our
- 41:27number one episode of all time is but the.
- 41:29Problem with the hunting ad line?
- 41:30Yeah, I know. Yeah, Oh.
- 41:32I know you've warned me every time.
- 41:34It's like it's 90% her in a like a.
- 41:37Yeah. But if?
- 41:38Anyone can read it. It would be us.
- 41:42We will still somehow I still make.
- 41:44Traumatise from that. Book, but we will do it, OK?
- 41:47We will do it. It'll be behind the patron.
- 41:50Maybe we should. That's what I mean.
- 41:52Because it's traumatising. OK, Next category character you
- 41:56would mute on site. Sean.
- 41:59Sean, I think. Sean.
- 42:01Sean. He's terrible, his dialogue, how
- 42:05is he a main male character? There's no redeeming qualities
- 42:08in his personality whatsoever. None.
- 42:11None mute mute your weird conspiracies.
- 42:15I swear he's hallucinating and thinks the birds are fucking out
- 42:18to get him. Like that is the weirdest.
- 42:21You can't convince me. You can't convince me.
- 42:23No, no man is hot enough for that kind of behaviour.
- 42:25He. Wasn't even hot mute my.
- 42:28Is that yours as well? Yeah.
- 42:29That's why it's beautiful. Fuck that I know.
- 42:32Fuck that book too. You're saying we have to read
- 42:37the second one? When we.
- 42:39Read. What part of that are you not
- 42:41understanding? Colour.
- 42:42I'm like, when we read it, you're gonna know exactly what
- 42:45the fuck I'm talking about and you're gonna spiral.
- 42:47And anyone else who's listening to this and has read the second
- 42:50book and hates it knows exactly. What I'm talking about, OK.
- 42:53Alright, you're just gonna trust mine.
- 42:54Gonna have to deliver. Alright, so we're moving on.
- 42:58Oh damn, we've still got categories we get fucking get to
- 43:01the point. Worst sex scene?
- 43:05Christian raw dogging the communal.
- 43:07Couch in an open room. Raw dogging the couch.
- 43:11Raw dogging on the couch. Raw dogging the communal couch.
- 43:15With the alligator in the corner.
- 43:16Alligator on the door open. Door open.
- 43:19Swamp outside. Swamp outside isn't.
- 43:22It. Raining.
- 43:23It was raining. She was also listening to the
- 43:26guy she was previously fucking fucking.
- 43:28Says yeah. It's humid.
- 43:29It's dank. It's dank, you know, It's musty.
- 43:32It's musty. It's crusty.
- 43:34Weed stank in the air. There's holes in the couch and
- 43:37you can't convince me otherwise. There's fucking boots in the
- 43:40corner. There's a man over there
- 43:43watching you drunk out of his mind, probably stumbling into a
- 43:46wall that by and. Not only that, she rocks up on
- 43:49the breakfast table the next morning.
- 43:51Cooking breakfast for everyone. Like this is normal.
- 43:54Gingers. Same change of clothes that she
- 43:56was willing to. Do I'm like, it already smells
- 44:00like cooch in the house. There's so many.
- 44:05There would be so many smells, so many textures.
- 44:08I know it really took us. There, I'm like, you can't tell
- 44:11me they even sweep in their house.
- 44:12Be for real. Tell me why that 5 seconds of
- 44:15missionary was supposed to be that life blowing on that dank
- 44:18musty couch. Explain that to me, Penelope.
- 44:23Exactly. Wait, is it Penelope?
- 44:25Yes. OK, I was confused.
- 44:27Penlop. Penlop.
- 44:29Penlop please. But also it's dumb because we
- 44:33created the whole book based on this exact scene on the couch.
- 44:37Apparently the end character was supposed to be a plot twist and
- 44:40everyone's fucking surprised. I'm not surprised it's the only
- 44:43one that drinks alcohol. Mm hmm.
- 44:45And you will die on that hill. You'll be like she did not need
- 44:48to go. I do all that.
- 44:49No, no, I love it for her. Fuck them all girl, fuck them
- 44:54all. But also not on a crusty
- 44:57communal couch that probably everyone in these dogs fucked
- 45:00on. Alligator in the front door,
- 45:03right the. Alligator's fucked, you hear the
- 45:05hissing. Like of that alligator.
- 45:08Snap biting in the corner. I just can't.
- 45:11You know what? Yeah, and to be fair, that was
- 45:14her pussy origin story. Like that was her pussy
- 45:16detective origin story. Exactly we're.
- 45:18Supposed to be excited about that it.
- 45:21Could. Sometimes you got to put a book
- 45:23down and go touch grass. Sometimes you do.
- 45:25I'm like, I'm trying to figure ways that it could have been
- 45:28better. And the first one was like glory
- 45:30hole. And I'm like, that's worse.
- 45:31And I'm like, it just never ends.
- 45:33What in the communal house? A club even.
- 45:36Yeah, a clubby. I don't know.
- 45:38None of that seems at least. That would be consensual because
- 45:40she'd be putting herself in there.
- 45:43She was. Technically.
- 45:45Laying on the couch like a loser 'cause she couldn't get her car
- 45:47to work. Laying on the car like a loser,
- 45:50trying you're no longer having sex with this guy.
- 45:53I can't remember whose fault he's fucking someone else
- 45:55upstairs. Right, fucking Trent or some
- 45:58shit upstairs. Whatever his name is fucking one
- 46:00of many brothers. Trent fucking Timber.
- 46:03Timber, you got 1, you got two in the other room.
- 46:07Got trench, You've got like a sweater.
- 46:10Names were all fucking T. But like, you've got one brother
- 46:14upstairs fucking the other, I'm sure there was another one girl
- 46:16getting fucked between another two brothers.
- 46:18Like it was a lot like exactly that house wreaked and you can't
- 46:22tell me otherwise. No, but she was signing up to
- 46:25become the cleaner. Oh 'cause she loved the
- 46:28staircase. Remember all the memories.
- 46:30Oh, all the dusty. Oh yeah, she's like there.
- 46:32It's. Like Trista?
- 46:33There. I feel for Trista.
- 46:35There's a whole there's a whole splinter hanging out of the
- 46:38floor. I stepped on it and now it's
- 46:40girl. No, you've got to get yourself
- 46:42to the clinic for tetanus, babe. It's one.
- 46:45It's misery, bitch. All right.
- 46:50OK. Worse.
- 46:51Sexy. OK.
- 46:55OK. OK.
- 46:59Imagine. OK, Imagine.
- 47:01I don't want to. You're in a red room of
- 47:03disappointment, and a man comes walking down the stairs, pale,
- 47:09glistening, topless, topless, not quite fit.
- 47:15Not dad bod, though. Not dad bod.
- 47:18Jeans, worn jeans. Holy.
- 47:20Wearing a little bit too low. Yeah.
- 47:23Like he's really pushing it, holding like a.
- 47:25Paddle A used paddle like no shoes.
- 47:28Worn. No shoes.
- 47:29No shoes, Nelly, He's got them dogs out.
- 47:31Right, the jeans are hanging awkwardly too close to.
- 47:34The pool. He's been walking down these
- 47:36steps. OK, you're about to get spanked
- 47:39until you cry. You didn't even sign the
- 47:42contract yet. You don't know if you can exit
- 47:46this fucking room. The beds, no sheets.
- 47:48It's like a rubber. Sheet.
- 47:50I don't know. It's like it's.
- 47:52Giving Dexter. It's giving water bed.
- 47:56OK, sorry. Like, yeah, that's, that's got
- 47:59to be the worst Christian Grey. The villain.
- 48:03And then you've just got to sit in the corner.
- 48:07And then you're traumatized, crying because a you didn't even
- 48:10get to read the contract properly and sign it and he's
- 48:13just doing it anyway. Also another note, you've just
- 48:15looked out random anal toys. You've never had sex before?
- 48:20And also he said that there was going to be a safe word and he
- 48:24used it, but he didn't. Care about it anyway, no?
- 48:27Also doesn't he play like? Yeah, classical music.
- 48:32RIP my eardrums out, bitch fuck. But not only is it classical
- 48:35music, he keeps replaying the same song.
- 48:39Hell, hell, hell. Hell, this is what's happening
- 48:44on Jeffrey Epstein's island. Like.
- 48:45This this is. Not normal.
- 48:49There's no but, sorry. Stop giving people money for sex
- 48:53scenes. Stop it, they get weird.
- 48:56No, this is not sexy. This is a human trafficking
- 49:01situation. This is not a.
- 49:04Sexy. It's worse because this is the
- 49:07OG of sexy. That's what I mean.
- 49:10It's just not sexy. Like I understand that it was a
- 49:12while ago. This was pushing the boundaries.
- 49:15She's white man's still. Wearing a shirt this.
- 49:18White man's jeans are under his ankles.
- 49:22They're frayed. They're frayed.
- 49:23You know how they're frayed? Because he didn't take him off.
- 49:26Oh, they're frayed and also I feel like they're ripped a
- 49:29little. That's what I mean, because he's
- 49:30a bit, he didn't get them tailored.
- 49:32He's got. To feel, you know, he's got to
- 49:33split that ankle. Split him.
- 49:34He's walking down and his heels stepping on the Split him with
- 49:40every. And every single step he takes,
- 49:44his jeans pull his ass at us. And not only that, I can't
- 49:52imagine this halfway through the spanking.
- 49:54You haven't even got it in the puss yet right?
- 49:56Like what? He's got this phone sitting
- 49:59there and his groomer ex-girlfriend is ringing him and
- 50:03her face is like popping up on FaceTime.
- 50:06And you know, it's a close up, you know, it's, it's not a nice
- 50:09standing photo. It's just this is the features.
- 50:12Of the face What's her nickname like as she's calling What's her
- 50:15nickname? What's her name?
- 50:17Fuck. Lord Farquaad.
- 50:26Oh my God, fuck. What emojis are on it, you know?
- 50:34Oh my. God.
- 50:38Fuck what emojis. Little.
- 50:40Dancing Boy. I feel like.
- 50:49I feel like. Dancing boy and then like
- 50:52fireworks. OK, here's my.
- 50:56Idea for nickname OK, here's my idea.
- 50:58Mummy dearest still little dancing boy in firework.
- 51:12This is silence. Good laughing.
- 51:15But like still little dancing boy and.
- 51:18Like would you add any more emojis or just them too just.
- 51:21Them like cake even. No, no, no.
- 51:25Oh my God, what's her name? Fucks me.
- 51:30Did it start with AC? Was it even an old lady name or
- 51:34not really? What do you type in for Google
- 51:36for that? What's the groomer?
- 51:38You want who? Creamed Christian.
- 51:40Great. Who?
- 51:42I'm OK, OK, here's a guess. I want to get something before
- 51:45you. I think her name started with
- 51:46CI. Could be wrong.
- 51:49OK. Well, that was not the question
- 51:51to put in there. Oh.
- 51:52It's Elena. We weren't even.
- 51:55Quite. No.
- 51:57Really. But you know why we weren't
- 51:59closed? Because she gets called Miss
- 52:00Robinson. That's right.
- 52:05I'm still here for the a. Lot of points, Claude and Mummy
- 52:08dearest. All the things you could
- 52:12remember. Because honestly, like.
- 52:17Little LF is calling. I.
- 52:19Think Mommy Dearest is more Canon to how fucked up Christian
- 52:23Gray was, but as Lord Farquine I would read the second book.
- 52:29I'd be like, oh shit, Christian Gray's got a bit of something to
- 52:31him, bit of sass. Bit of sass.
- 52:37That's so good. I love when we make up things at
- 52:40a Canon. All right, let's go.
- 52:42Best sex scene? I feel like it was either shield
- 52:46of sparrows or lights out. I feel like lights out, maybe
- 52:51like lights out was hectic, the dagger in the bed like most
- 52:54memorable, but I feel like Shields of Sparrow didn't
- 52:58repulse. Me, which is a nice change.
- 53:02Because I, I can't remember exactly.
- 53:03Is that the book we were like and you actually knew where
- 53:05everyone's limbs were? Or is that a different book?
- 53:09Who knows? Who knows between all of them?
- 53:12Them two. Yeah, I could see that for sure.
- 53:14And it's funny because it was like most honourable for worse
- 53:17was anything with Christian grace.
- 53:21I said I can't remember the specific sex scene but out of
- 53:24all the books I picked Quicksilver because I feel like
- 53:28the sex scenes made sense. Yes, for that development of
- 53:32plot, essentially. So it worked with the plot.
- 53:34It wasn't for some like shock value, yes.
- 53:37So I was like. Not just to be there to because
- 53:40they can. Which kind of tracks because you
- 53:42pick them as most compatible couple.
- 53:44So I'm like, oh. Love like.
- 53:46The books we picked this year, the sex scenes, weren't the core
- 53:50of the books, except for five brothers, obviously.
- 53:52Yeah. For the other books it wasn't
- 53:54the main. I feel like we go through stages
- 53:57where we either pick. Spicy or non spicy?
- 54:00Spicy or non spicy, but also sometimes spicy is too spicy.
- 54:05It's just. Boring.
- 54:06And I think sometimes I really love spicy.
- 54:09There's nothing wrong with spicy, but it's can be draining.
- 54:13Sometimes I want to read a little bit more than having sex.
- 54:17Exactly. Can we like go back to it?
- 54:20Honourable mention for worst sex scene has gonna be the muscles
- 54:24and monsters blowjob in the communal gym.
- 54:27Oh. Yes, fuck.
- 54:28Yes, or the wanking in the communal shower.
- 54:31That was fucked. Disgusting.
- 54:33Disgusting. And This is why we don't go to
- 54:35gyms. You don't know what people are
- 54:38doing in that, no. So let's go to biggest plot hole
- 54:41or plot twist. I feel like it was beautiful.
- 54:45Ugly. Yes.
- 54:46I picked that too. But also I feel like we didn't
- 54:48read any plot twisty books. Yeah.
- 54:51Did I like the plot twist and beautiful ugly?
- 54:54No, but. It was a twist.
- 54:56It caught me off guard. I thought it was a lesbian cult.
- 55:00It is, but yeah, it was a lesbian cult.
- 55:03But it was the back story of the weird pedophile drowning
- 55:06incident, yeah as well. And I was like, wait.
- 55:09And it was the characters not being the same, but being the
- 55:11same. It was a lot.
- 55:13It was very confusing. Out of that, because I did pick
- 55:16it as well out of that, the funniest side of the plot test
- 55:20was the fact that Grady was on the side of the road wearing a
- 55:22red coat and heels. Yes, yes.
- 55:26You could not have paid me money to think that that was the case.
- 55:29Nope. He really was going for an Oscar
- 55:32for that. Yeah, he really.
- 55:33Said hold my purse and he ran into the street as she was
- 55:38driving home. He orchestrated that, I think.
- 55:40So I think that was the plot twist that got me.
- 55:43Yeah. Bizarre.
- 55:44Bizarre. I guess for that book, the
- 55:47biggest pothole is the fact that they didn't even need it to be
- 55:50an author. They could have picked any man
- 55:52to work at that island. Like yeah, that was the weird.
- 55:55But also, they didn't even kill him either.
- 55:57Yeah, I'm you have a publicist as one of the main people.
- 56:02Yep. Why don't you just get a couple
- 56:04of authors on and take an extra 5% and then use that 5%?
- 56:09I think it wasn't. Even about the money generation
- 56:12either, it was about they. It was almost like they were all
- 56:15taking turns to pick men in their life that they wanted to
- 56:19for it to be their turn to be tortured for the bad things that
- 56:22they've done. But they would need an author
- 56:23every time. Yeah, that's what's dumb.
- 56:25I'm like, that's not going to work out every time, baby.
- 56:27No. So let's go to most obvious
- 56:30foreshadowing. Funnily enough, it's also
- 56:32beautiful. Ugly.
- 56:33Really. Yeah, the book does it all.
- 56:38The book does it all. I feel like also at the same
- 56:41time, with the plot twist of him killing her, I also feel like I
- 56:45knew everything was happening at the same time, even though I
- 56:48just said you knew nothing that was happening, right?
- 56:50Because I feel like I remember working it out like halfway, not
- 56:53even halfway through the book. Yeah.
- 56:55I think you told me that. But in saying that, I'm a
- 56:57fantasy book girlie and there's nothing I love more than is when
- 57:01you get to the end of the book and you're like, what the fuck
- 57:03happened? And then you read it for a
- 57:05second time and you're like, there were signs the whole way
- 57:07through. So I think the fact that you
- 57:10could tell all of it in this book was probably why.
- 57:14Yeah, I don't like a blind ending where if you had no info
- 57:19you're just getting dragged along to the plot.
- 57:21And then? Told what the ending is, yeah.
- 57:23So at least this book had you thinking about it.
- 57:27I think for this one most obvious foreshadowing, I picked
- 57:29Light Lock. Yes, because as well as all of
- 57:33the tropes going on, because she was the really stereotypical
- 57:38powerless weak girl. Yeah, you of course knew that
- 57:41everyone who was over a century years old was relying on her to
- 57:45figure everything out. At the end, you sort of just
- 57:47knew it. And it's like, what's even the
- 57:49point? Because anything like Hunger
- 57:52Games and things like that, you've got to have enough
- 57:54challenges that it doesn't look like they're actually going to
- 57:57win. When she just breezed through
- 57:59it, even though she got so physically hurt.
- 58:02Yeah, you knew that she was just going to somehow breeze through
- 58:05the ending. I will.
- 58:06Give I have read the second book and I think the plot twist in
- 58:12the second books, it's very like, wow, that makes a lot of
- 58:15sense. But also I didn't see that
- 58:17coming. But I'm also not going to tell
- 58:19you because you just we might read it one day, so.
- 58:22I mean for a first book I'm like this is going exactly how I felt
- 58:25it. Was.
- 58:25Yeah, yeah. OK.
- 58:27Most pick me character. That's Christian.
- 58:31Yep, same dude. We're so aligned on this one.
- 58:35We've already said why we've. Already.
- 58:37Said about it. We've talked about her enough.
- 58:40Honourable mention is the girl from Flock.
- 58:43Can't remember her name because she pisses me off.
- 58:46Cecilia yes, with the red Taylor Swift lipstick and the little
- 58:50sun dress or whatever she. Did head butter wall bitch?
- 58:53Christian could be such good friends.
- 58:56I think so. It's essentially same, same,
- 58:59different. Christian is the pick me and
- 59:01she's proud of it. That's fine.
- 59:04Wow that didn't take long. So moving on to most toxic male
- 59:07character. Andrew the housemaid, yeah.
- 59:11Yeah, yeah. Enough so.
- 59:13He didn't really make it hard this year.
- 59:16I picked Christian Gray, who you picked as the last villain.
- 59:18So realistically, same soundtracks, same, same.
- 59:23I think for Christian Gray, not only is all the DV and the blah
- 59:26blah that we talked about, the grooming behaviour, it's just
- 59:28the straight up gaslighting to her face.
- 59:31Yeah. And I think in a way it's
- 59:32gaslighting the reader to think that that's OK and he's still OK
- 59:36to be the main male character. And I think it makes it seem
- 59:39like it's OK because he's rich, when really it's not.
- 59:41Yeah. Because if you wouldn't accept
- 59:43this from a guy who is unemployed in trying to date
- 59:46you, why are you accepting it from Mr. Christian Gray?
- 59:50Exactly. You know what I mean.
- 59:51It makes you think now, do we have any honourable mentions
- 59:55outside of what we've already talked about?
- 59:57No, I actually don't. Hey only one I have is like a
- 1:00:01personal book favorite of the year.
- 1:00:04So my personal 1 was Phantasma but like that's we didn't read
- 1:00:09that for the podcast. To outside the podcast.
- 1:00:11Yes, I love that book. OK, I have an honourable mention
- 1:00:15for favorite character and it was Ransom the Witcher from Timu
- 1:00:20from Spiel of because whatever. Why not?
- 1:00:26He was the only bearable male character in a way.
- 1:00:29We can like a man. I like the idea of him just
- 1:00:32being like, yeah, you know, yeah.
- 1:00:37He had a reason to to be like that.
- 1:00:40I like a patient man. He was so patient with her
- 1:00:44bullshit. Patient also time running out.
- 1:00:47Exactly. Exactly, exactly.
- 1:00:49He didn't make it all about him. No, he.
- 1:00:51Was just like, OK, girl, you'll get there eventually.
- 1:00:55Yeah, Phil, he's like, he's like.
- 1:00:57Cool, cool. I love it.
- 1:01:00Now we've got two more categories.
- 1:01:02We've got book we're still mad about.
- 1:01:06Take a wild guess, flock. Yeah.
- 1:01:08It asked. Me it.
- 1:01:09Pisses me the fuck off so. Mad.
- 1:01:12I'm sorry, why? Did I think I was more mad about
- 1:01:14it than you were? Turns out you're more mad about
- 1:01:16it than. I think because I read the
- 1:01:17second one it made me more mad so.
- 1:01:20It like refreshed. It, no, it just added to.
- 1:01:23It added to. Yeah.
- 1:01:25I hate it so much. Usually I'm like even if a
- 1:01:28book's about, I'm like, oh, it's fine.
- 1:01:30It's like they tried. I think this book is diabolical.
- 1:01:34I think the whole series is fucking diabolical.
- 1:01:37What the fuck? Miss.
- 1:01:39Kate I never like to judge people based on what they like
- 1:01:43to read because we all like different things.
- 1:01:45I will have. Exceptions.
- 1:01:47Especially for the second one. What do you mean?
- 1:01:49What do you mean? Are people hate reading it?
- 1:01:51No. They love it.
- 1:01:53Which characters do they like? I'm confused.
- 1:01:56They like Dominic and they like Sean.
- 1:01:58I don't. We the problem.
- 1:02:00No. No.
- 1:02:02Because I don't understand I've. Read worst books No I haven't.
- 1:02:06This is the worst book I'm. Thinking like.
- 1:02:08I've read shit books and what? Are we reading that people
- 1:02:12aren't reading? I can't wait for you to read the
- 1:02:15second one OK. In particular the second the
- 1:02:19last half of the book because it has never pissed me off more.
- 1:02:23I'm. Scared.
- 1:02:24You should be. It's horrible.
- 1:02:27It's so bad. OK, we're not doing it on my
- 1:02:30birthday month because I want to.
- 1:02:31No. No, no.
- 1:02:32You want to just push it back, We'll push it.
- 1:02:34Back fine. I don't care if we do it in
- 1:02:36mine, it's fine. OK, OK it is by far.
- 1:02:40I can't. I can't.
- 1:02:41I will go for hours but I also don't want to ruin it for you.
- 1:02:45OK, we won't. We'll leave it at that for now.
- 1:02:48That's OK, Tell me yours. I'm still mad about Mile High
- 1:02:52valid because. What the fuck?
- 1:02:55Also. Zanders and nothing I fucking
- 1:02:59hate more that would. Be my second pick.
- 1:03:01The male character breaks up with the female character for no
- 1:03:05reason. Even his own teammates were like
- 1:03:09what the fuck? Bro none of it makes sense.
- 1:03:13There was no need to break up. Why did we need to make her
- 1:03:16crusty? But he was also the one who had
- 1:03:18the biggest sulk after the breakup.
- 1:03:20She actually accepted a job in a different city or whatever was
- 1:03:24still doing things she wanted to do, was on her way to a glow up
- 1:03:28probably and and then he was the one who chucked a big sulk.
- 1:03:32Angers me to my core. I don't know if we talked about
- 1:03:35it when we did the podcast but I feel like the author hated her
- 1:03:39as a character. I think she wrote her to hate
- 1:03:43her. She picked someone in her life
- 1:03:45that really pissed her off and wrote her to hate on her.
- 1:03:49Like you can't make someone crusty and disgusting and
- 1:03:52unhygienic and that much of A pick me but just it.
- 1:03:57But it wasn't like she was being a pick me.
- 1:04:00I generally think she hated the character.
- 1:04:02I think it was supposed to be that dynamic of he's still
- 1:04:05picking her because she's humble and he's supposed to be chasing
- 1:04:08a trophy girlfriend. We can have humble and not a
- 1:04:11slob. I still think she's too good for
- 1:04:13him. She will die on that hill.
- 1:04:14She is too good for him, but also she did.
- 1:04:17Why was she like, I'm living with mustard on my entire
- 1:04:20family? No one's doing that.
- 1:04:22Be for real, be for real. Also she was body Oddy Oddy.
- 1:04:25Yeah, she was body. Oddy.
- 1:04:27Oddy you she. Was she was 362436?
- 1:04:31Curves for days. Quite attendant.
- 1:04:33Ask Fat. Had to turn to go down the
- 1:04:36aisle. Yeah.
- 1:04:37In the plane, you're telling me not every single man was
- 1:04:40thirsting? After her, you're telling me you
- 1:04:42wrote a woman with beautiful curly hair and you made her
- 1:04:46slobby with her face? Card never declining by the way.
- 1:04:49Never declining, but you're like, she has rats in her hair.
- 1:04:52That's how she wrote and the. Paparazzi took a photo and
- 1:04:54everyone was full cyberbullying. Her exactly.
- 1:04:58And I'm like. You're.
- 1:04:59Telling me this beautiful woman that works on a plane is not
- 1:05:03gonna be looking after her girls.
- 1:05:05You're a private flight attendant.
- 1:05:07You know how to beat your face. There's a standard for flight
- 1:05:10attendants and it's pretty fucking high.
- 1:05:12Fuck off with that. Fuck off with that.
- 1:05:14That's. Always too good for him.
- 1:05:16That's why I'm convinced the author hated her.
- 1:05:20I'm. Convinced.
- 1:05:21Let's wait for a response. It's from Liz.
- 1:05:24Liz, You're going to tell me Liz.
- 1:05:25Please. Who you wrote about and the beef
- 1:05:27you have with us. Please if you find this podcast.
- 1:05:30E-mail us, Batgirl. We need answers.
- 1:05:33It was like she was in trying to embarrass the character like
- 1:05:36that. I don't know how to explain it
- 1:05:38otherwise. Yeah.
- 1:05:39I know you did your honourable mention for best book but that
- 1:05:41was outside of the podcast. So what is your best book for
- 1:05:442020? 5 Quicksilver Whoo it's my good
- 1:05:48favorite book. What do you think of?
- 1:05:50Isn't there a new cover for it? Because I don't like the
- 1:05:52original cover. I love the original cover.
- 1:05:54Really. I don't like the new cover.
- 1:05:57His hands look non proportional, the way he's gripping his neck
- 1:06:01looks a bit, his wrists look really skinny.
- 1:06:04Yes. That's what I don't like.
- 1:06:07She should have kept it to the face and shoulders looking down.
- 1:06:09No hands. And maybe the butterfly's a bit
- 1:06:11cheesy, but whatever, it is what it is.
- 1:06:14I like the original. With the hands like this, is
- 1:06:17that what it? Or am I just not looking at it
- 1:06:19wrong? Yeah, yeah, you're right.
- 1:06:22His hands the. Hands are giving caressing
- 1:06:25myself. I don't think it's his hands.
- 1:06:28I know it is. If you take his the arms out
- 1:06:32because it also looks like the thumbs, it's like this.
- 1:06:36He should have just had his shoulders and looking down it
- 1:06:38would. Like, because who stands like
- 1:06:40that? Nobody.
- 1:06:41I've never noticed the hands. Oh, I I.
- 1:06:43Forgot it. My best book for 2025 overall if
- 1:06:49I was to round out everything is Lights Out by Nervesa Allen.
- 1:06:53Which is so surprising, I know, but also fun.
- 1:06:57Because it had banter. It was in the modern age, which
- 1:07:02cool it was. Weird.
- 1:07:04Like a touch smutty but original enough to not be a cut and
- 1:07:07paste. Also they did have like a
- 1:07:09villain in that because didn't they have that guy that they
- 1:07:11accidentally killed because he was trying to rape her?
- 1:07:15You remember she? No, I only just remembered then.
- 1:07:18What a side plot. But what's very interesting,
- 1:07:20It's better than whatever Christian Gray was doing.
- 1:07:24Honestly, nobody hates Christian Gray more than me.
- 1:07:27I think I've been a hater through and through from the.
- 1:07:29Beginning hater through and through.
- 1:07:31Him. Wow.
- 1:07:33So that is it. We finally did this.
- 1:07:35We finally wrapped up last year's books.
- 1:07:39We got there in the end. So that wraps up the 2025
- 1:07:42Ploties, our official extremely biased ruling on our year of
- 1:07:46books. If your fave got robbed,
- 1:07:48miscategorized, or absolutely dragged, just know that we did
- 1:07:51it with love. Thanks for joining us on Lose
- 1:07:54the Plot with Carla and Emily. Don't forget to rate US five
- 1:07:57stars and subscribe if you enjoyed slide into our DMS on
- 1:08:00Tiktok or Instagram Lose the Plot podcast.