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PADMA And Mustang Wilderness Journey · The Horsehuman Connection Matrix

• 0:00
  Speaker 2: I opened up your your letter that you wrote this morning right before the call.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: The the email-.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: that you sent.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna-
• 0:08
  Speaker: Mm-hmm
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: i'm gonna open it real quick.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: And I just, I, I wanna read some of this,'cause I just loved it so much.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: I am still processing the incredible experiences from the retreat.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: I've not been able to verbalize it to others.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: I have given family, friends, and acquaintances either a superficial reaccounting of the trip or, depending on the person, a more detailed account, but still never discussing the full depth of the experience.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Perhaps I feel like, what's the point?
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: They won't understand anyways, and I'll probably lose their attention after two minutes.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: I also think that I hold that experience in a sacred space not meant for everyone.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: And, and then you go on later to say, I can't imagine going on an equine adventure without including those aspects of the journey, meaning the somatic movement and the dancing among the horses.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: And that you say it could all have been outside of your comfort zone but it wasn't.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: And I just, I, I love what you wrote.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: It really, really touched me
• 1:08
  Speaker: Thank you.
• 1:09
  Speaker: Now that you read that, a couple of things Recently that kind of speak to that my mind is, itching to think of,, oh, what's my next little adventure gonna be?
• 1:20
  Speaker: I need, a weekend getaway into nature.
• 1:23
  Speaker: What is that gonna be?
• 1:25
  Speaker: Last night actually, I was looking at some of our photos, from our trip,"Oh, I just wanna be back immersed in nature." And I was talking actually to, um, a friend of mine a couple nights ago.
• 1:39
  Speaker: We were at A, a friend's a pianist.
• 1:41
  Speaker: We were at one of his musical events, and it was outside in nature and trees and stuff like that.
• 1:47
  Speaker: And so I was giving him, this, rundown because he had just gone to the desert.
• 1:51
  Speaker: And he, wanting to, homestead and just be out in nature and stuff like that.
• 1:55
  Speaker: "I went camping to, be out there." So I was telling him about how raw it felt out in the wild.
• 2:05
  Speaker: And I call it the wild because I just feel like that's, the closest to just being out away from, like, civilization and, manmade things- Yes aside from what we had- With us.
• 2:19
  Speaker: And I'm like, the fact even that we shared a campsite with a lion.
• 2:24
  Speaker: I'm like, how much more real does it get when you are technically almost like prey?
• 2:32
  Speaker: Hmm.
• 2:32
  Speaker: I mean, we're, like, in, in a lion's habitat, and you have these feelings that you can't help but think these are similar feelings that other prey animals have.
• 2:43
  Speaker: Look at how the horse has to look over its shoulder and has to sense, there's a lion nearby.
• 2:47
  Speaker: You hear that stuff.
• 2:48
  Speaker: You hear the zebra, the antelope, whatever they operate through life, making sure that, is there a lion over there.
• 2:54
  Speaker: But when you're actually in that environment and you're like, oh,'cause I've gotta look to see, am I gonna come out my tent and come face-to-face with a lion?
• 3:05
  Speaker: And is he hungry and I might be a little snack?
• 3:07
  Speaker: Or is he just"Hey, what's up?
• 3:09
  Speaker: I'm gonna keep going my way.
• 3:10
  Speaker: You go your way."
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:11
  Speaker: But anyway, so I was talking about that with him, and I just was like, man, I just, there's nothing like, there's nothing like it to fully immerse yourself- And it's not sometimes a day isn't enough.
• 3:26
  Speaker: That's why I appreciate the length, we were like four or five days.
• 3:29
  Speaker: Because, a day you're just still shaking off the electronics and the energy of just being in city life.
• 3:38
  Speaker: And it takes a minute to shake it off and then just be fully present and removed from your normal daily life.
• 3:49
  Speaker: So I was thinking about what's my next little trip that I'm gonna do, and oh, I, I do miss being out on horseback on some excursion.
• 3:59
  Speaker: Do I just do some random day trip?
• 4:02
  Speaker: 'Cause I, I love going to the Eastern Sierras.
• 4:04
  Speaker: I love, um i've done like a, a day horseback riding trip up there for my birthday some years ago, and that was great.
• 4:11
  Speaker: And I'm like, it's not gonna have the same effect of course,'cause there's not gonna be the elements that you guys as faciliters- facilitators brought to it, but I'll still be out in nature, and I'll have that in myself.
• 4:25
  Speaker: Um, but then also my friend who's like the pianist just released an album, and one of the songs on it, I was listening to it as I was driving it took me to the round pen with my horse in my mind.
• 4:44
  Speaker: And it took me into just doing these movements with her.
• 4:50
  Speaker: And- And I was like,"Oh, I can't wait to do that." I haven't done it yet, but I'm like,"Oh, I can just see it and feel it." And it just pulled this, like, dance out of me with my horse, which again is not something that I normally think of and would normally I'll think to actually like,"Okay, I'm gonna, have this happen." So I called him and I told him about that.
• 5:11
  Speaker: And I forgot that his CD was titled Dance of the Aura"Oh, that's such a connection." But I'm like that brought me back to our journey and how the somatic movement and stuff was brought into our experience and, And how it's still impacting me
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: let me recap what I heard you say.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: So you were doing something that is kind of a mindless task, and you were remembering this piece of music, or you were actually listening to it.
• 5:43
  Speaker: I was listening to it, or the
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: first time heard it
• 5:45
  Speaker: may-
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: You were listening to it.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, the very first time.
• 5:47
  Speaker: Yeah, definitely.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: And the music brought you into, a live kind of dream sequence of what you might be able to do with your horse as far as movement- Mm-hmm in the round pen, even though that's not s- been something that you've really played with with, with your horse.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: Is that correct?
• 6:03
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 6:04
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: And I, I've had those kind of moments too where I'm alone and es- especially with music, and it, it brings me to a place that creates a vision of what I want to create or what the feelings bring up.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: And I, I get that.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I get that, and I'm curious if you've been able or you're going to be able to bring that and to create it, you know?
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Because I'm so...
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: the way I look at our lives in so many aspects is our thoughts create our words, our words create our deeds and actions, and that's what creates our reality.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: And so you had it, you, you were inspired with this piece of music, and your thoughts created this thing, and now you're sharing it, and your words are creating this thing, and then it becomes your reality in the next steps.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: And that's what shapes our lives.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Like, that's so huge, right?
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: And-
• 7:02
  Speaker: Yeah
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: and I think our minds work like this all the time, but how often do we stop and realize and follow through?
• 7:13
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 7:14
  Speaker: So my next step is to go to the ranch and do it.
• 7:17
  Speaker: It's been so busy with work, and it's been so hot here.
• 7:22
  Speaker: So I have these windows of time that I'm like, I can either I'm not there because I'm working, or these windows of times where, like, I'm actually, like, at the ranch.
• 7:33
  Speaker: And I'm like, this week I'm, like, trying to slow it down as best I can.
• 7:38
  Speaker: 'Cause I just keep saying, like, yes to work, and I need to set some boundaries.
• 7:42
  Speaker: 'Cause my job is very, feast or famine, and right now it's like a feast.
• 7:46
  Speaker: There's a lot of work, so you, you take the work while you can before work slows down and then you don't have work.
• 7:53
  Speaker: But I also need to, like, maintain my balance for, my mental health and care.
• 7:59
  Speaker: But, yeah, that was a, a really beautiful moment, and I attribute it to some of the stuff that we did, especially when we were in the tent and doing that, those movements in the tent with everyone.
• 8:13
  Speaker: Cause that's kind of, like, where my mind went when I was listening to that.
• 8:17
  Speaker: And then I called my friend the next day and I was like,"Oh, my gosh, let me tell you."
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: I would love to listen to the piece of music.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: What is the artist's name?
• 8:26
  Speaker: His name is Surya Bonafina.
• 8:28
  Speaker: I'll, I'll message you-
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Okay
• 8:30
  Speaker: the info.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:33
  Speaker: I- But yeah
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: it, you know, and it's a mo- it's moments like that and visions like that, that pulled the trip together, really.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: That's what it was about.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: I had those ideas, and w- how can I dance with m- my horse more?
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: And wanted that to happen, and I think there's so much more potential, you know- Mm-hmm than what we tapped into.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: And I've watched the, I've watched the movie of the facilitators doing the spontaneous flocking- Mm-hmm near the horses- Mm-hmm the second day, and at first I thought that they had sounded the alarm and started to move out of their kind of head bobbing sleep or meditation because we got so close, because we were getting closer.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: But as I look at the movie, we all had, we did a movement where our hands came up like this above our heads, all of us- Mm-hmm which is like a cat, right?
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Like this kind- Yeah of movement will stop and spook a horse.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: And, um, we weren't thinking about that when we were doing the movements, but I think that's actually what sounded the alarm, was the type- Mm-hmm of movement, not the proximity And, uh, so I'm, I'm even more curious about that.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I'm curious if there, if all of us were included and if we'd slowed it down, slowed the movements down even more, how close could we have got?
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: What might have happened?
• 9:58
  Speaker: That first day when the herd surrounded us.
• 10:02
  Speaker: And I remember you saying, you were like—and we were all just, like, jaw dropped and- It
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: was-
• 10:08
  Speaker: in awe.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: It was wild.
• 10:10
  Speaker: And you had said, you were just like, you gasped, and you were like, this is the vision." You're like,"This is the vision that we had.
• 10:17
  Speaker: Oh, my gosh."
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:19
  Speaker: And so when you say, you know, you're talking about, you know, the steps of having these visions realize and come into fruition, it's like that moment was like your follow-through-
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: It,
• 10:32
  Speaker: it- where it's like,"Oh, gosh."
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: It w- it was part of it.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: And then the flocking.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Like, we'd wanted to get everybody.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: We were hoping for an opportunity that we would be able to introduce the flocking, and that the whole group would be able to do the flocking near the wild horses.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: But I realized, because of the, we were exhausted and the way everybody's tents were, we were scattered once we were in camp, that wasn't gonna happen.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: And I was like,"We need to seize this opportunity." And- Yeah the facilitators had practiced flocking when we arrived the day before.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Everybody else did.
• 11:05
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: And so I knew that we had...
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: A- and we were all dancers, so I knew that we had enough to be able to do it.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: I'm like,"This is it.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Let's just do it." Mm-hmm.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: But that had been part of the vi- a- another part of the vision.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: I remember it was actually during an interview with somebody that choreographed with horses.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: I said,"W- I wonder if we could just improv with wild horses.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: What would that be like?" And it was that question.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: And then so for me, I was a little bit numb after the trip and just kind of in shock of, like, these visions came, not only came to fruition, but they came true.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: And I'm not even sure how all that happened.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: Um- Yeah I guess if you just say enough times, our thoughts create our words, our words create our deeds and actions, and that creates our reality.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: It starts to happen.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: And you remove the blockages.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Like, I think-
• 11:58
  Speaker: Yeah
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: I think we, we really do.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: Like, remember that, when that movie, The Secret, came out?
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: And I was so on board with,"Oh yeah, positive a- attracts positive.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: We can create whatever we want." But there were some caveats there that I think we didn't know or didn't get addressed, and I think that is all the stuff in our minds that limits us.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: All of that programming that's running behind all the time, that you're not good enough, or we can't do this, or society won't accept that, or, you know, whatever those- Mm whatever those thoughts are.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: You have to get rid of that before you can create the reality.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: And there's some- Which I
• 12:39
  Speaker: think is so hard.
• 12:41
  Speaker: I think, I mean, and I know for myself, that's something that is Something that gets in my way, like even now when I think I'm like'cause I feel like I'm in this interim s- place of like, you know, y- yeah, I'm working and I, I have a job that, I've done it for 10 years.
• 12:58
  Speaker: I'm it's fine.
• 12:59
  Speaker: It's paying my bills.
• 13:00
  Speaker: It's interesting.
• 13:01
  Speaker: I- I'm still with animals.
• 13:02
  Speaker: But I'm like, my next step, like my next goal, what exactly is that and what does that look like?
• 13:10
  Speaker: And I have these ideas of what I want it to look like, but then I just feel like there's blocks of me like taking that next step of okay, this Like for example, I had listened to that AWHC talk, and they had showed like their database- Mm-hmm of how they're like keeping track of all of their hor- their horses and the herds that they look at.
• 13:30
  Speaker: And, and I was like, well, I know databases like really well, and I c- really can compare this to like my work in epidemiology.
• 13:39
  Speaker: And I was like, I should really contact them and ask them more about their data and their database and how they management, manage it, and what are some areas, like some holes that they might need filled.
• 13:50
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 13:51
  Speaker: Like how can I be of any use, if any, to them on the database side?
• 13:56
  Speaker: And I'm like, it's a simple like email that I think about almost daily, or I've gotta like start at least drafting that out, and I'm like, have blank page, you know?
• 14:08
  Speaker: And I'm like, so there's this block of me like actually putting that step into action.
• 14:15
  Speaker: And I feel like a lot of us-
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm
• 14:18
  Speaker: do that, and we kinda halt our potential and where we could be.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I hear people talk about that all the time, and I'm grateful to hear you talk about it because it does remind me for some weird reason, it's That's not part of my makeup.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know if it's the autism or my experiences as a child, but I have very little impulse control in some you know, I manage my life okay, but I do tend to be more impulsive o- you know, on a bell curve than most people.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: And when it- Yeah comes to something like that I want, I just do it.
• 14:54
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: And I don't know why, but in some ways I feel like a trailblazer.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: If I can do it, you can do it.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: But then there's also is there a reason you're not doing it?
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Is there a good reason that you're- Yeah not moving in that direction?
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: And if you move in that direction and you find it's not right, can you switch directions?
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, somebody said- Yeah to me once, you got a 50/50 shot in every decision of getting it right.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: And if you get it wrong, you have another 50/50 shot in the next branch of decisions of getting it right.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: So wh- why not?
• 15:27
  Speaker: That's a very good point.
• 15:28
  Speaker: And I, for me, I'm like, well, in this particular instance, my why n- what halts me is because, because like we were saying, there's so much going on.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 15:38
  Speaker: And I'm like, where do I fall?
• 15:40
  Speaker: And like, I wanna be If I'm gonna put my energy towards something, towards like the mustangs.
• 15:46
  Speaker: I wanna make sure that I'm putting my energy towards an organization and a step towards a solution that I can stand behind.
• 15:58
  Speaker: And I'm like, I'm not entirely sure if sterilization is the way to go.
• 16:02
  Speaker: Is this organization the direction that I wanna go in?
• 16:06
  Speaker: It's kinda like when we wanna donate to like a wildlife mustang rescue organization or any, any organization.
• 16:15
  Speaker: We're like,"Is this an organization that I really stand behind, that I feel like I, this is where I want my hard-earned money to go towards?" And it's like you, you don't know, and then you find out later on like,"Oh my gosh, I just found out that they've been, like, embezzling money or they've been, you know- Not using the donated money towards, the animals.
• 16:33
  Speaker: It's been going towards 90% going to salaries and, 2% going to animals and whatever.
• 16:38
  Speaker: So I think that's also part of That's hesitation- You wanna get it- that like I really haven't explored, but-
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: You wanna get it right.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: And, and- Yeah how to get it right is overwhelming.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: I know I- Yes I go through a little bit of that too, like, but I've just been clicking petitions on social media.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I've come to the place where, how I invest my time and money- Take more consideration, but can I repost things?
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Can I flood- Yeah can I flood things with what's going on to bring awareness?
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Can I hit petitions, even if it signs me up for the Sierra Club and maybe I don't believe in everything they're doing?
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: It's still a step.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: It's still something where what I'm doing- Yeah matters because there's a massive movement, and there's all- Mm-hmm of these different parts to it.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: And-
• 17:28
  Speaker: Yeah
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: and I, I see three different parts.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I see wild mustangs as part one, I see mustangs in holding as part two, and I see mustangs and other horses in sanctuaries and refuges and rescues as part three.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: And all three have their own sets of problems and issues.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: And all three need to be addressed.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: Can I do all of them?
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: No, but I can bring awareness to all of them.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: And I think, I think there's a place, as a scientist you've probably read somewhere about the cellular matter in our guts and our hearts being similar to our brain.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: And so when we're making decisions, we gotta make them not just with our brain, but with our heart and our gut.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: And coming into alignment of a place where there's just so much trust of, and you can call it a God thing, too.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: It came into your awareness.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: Does it feel right?
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: If it feels right, explore it, right?
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: It, it's- Yeah come to you for a reason.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, what, what, don't, just don't get attached to the outcome.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: The reason might be they're completely wrong, or they need you to give them perspective, or it might be it's exactly what you wanna stand behind.
• 18:47
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 18:49
  Speaker: Well, something you just said made me think of, you were t- you were talking about the mustangs and the three different areas that they fall into.
• 18:55
  Speaker: And so in holding, something I'm thinking about my little mustang, Luna, came from the Centennial herd, which is up near Ridgecrest.
• 19:05
  Speaker: Okay.
• 19:06
  Speaker: So it's on the China Lakes Naval Weaponry Facility.
• 19:14
  Speaker: It's north of Los Angeles, I wanted to go and just see, where is she from.
• 19:19
  Speaker: I have no expectations to actually see, the herd.
• 19:22
  Speaker: 'Cause it's, a lot of land.
• 19:24
  Speaker: And my dad was a Navy veteran I think people can get access to the base.
• 19:31
  Speaker: You have to, like, apply or whatever, but he's also a Navy vet, so his veteran status can get him access to the base.
• 19:38
  Speaker: So I thought it'd be cool just to see the area- Yeah that she came from.
• 19:41
  Speaker: And then, like, right there is also Ridgecrest, which is one of the BLM holding facilities.
• 19:48
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 19:48
  Speaker: So she was rounded up at China Lakes and then sent to Ridgecrest, and I've never been to any BLM holding facility.
• 19:57
  Speaker: And I wanted to go and s- see one, and I'm like,"Well, that's two and a half hours away to where she's from, or where she, where she was held, so it'd be kind of interesting to do that." I don't know.
• 20:09
  Speaker: Do you have any thoughts about, or have you ever been to a holding facility?
• 20:14
  Speaker: I have.
• 20:14
  Speaker: Or any thoughts about going?
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: I've been to Burns twice, which is eastern Oregon, and it was exciting to see the wild horses and to see how they're kept, and it was a little bit sad.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: But after se- after doing the trip, I have a different perspective on it.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: They need to be free.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Like, what are we doing?
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: I think at the time I didn't understand.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: I thought there were good reasons for rounding them up and finding them homes, and it was a good program.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: And at the time, the horses were being, funneled into the prison system, and they were being used for rehabilitation, and they were, um, being, adopted out more in mustang makeovers.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: And, and there was the TIP program, which was the trainer's program- Yeah would pay trainers to get them halter broke, move in and out of a, a trailer, where they could, go to homes and continue whatever training.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: But those all got taken away.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: There's no funding for any of that.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: And so when I visited the holding pens, those things were going on, and so it made sense to see mustangs in holding.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Now that those programs don't exist and I've seen the mustangs in the wild and witnessed the work that Ivana has done, and felt and thought about the potential that wild mustangs have to affect people- To bring us more present, to give us firsthand this idea of freedom, to act as ambassadors for themselves, now when I think about the holding facilities, I feel kind of sick
• 22:00
  Speaker: When we were on our trip, and I just thought,"What are we doing?" What am I doing?
• 22:07
  Speaker: As part of my email that I said, I'm like, what, like, where do I go from here?
• 22:10
  Speaker: What is more important- Yeah than fighting for someone's freedom, fighting to do what is right?
• 22:18
  Speaker: And that can be extended to so many things.
• 22:22
  Speaker: I think of, and this is where my brain just goes off into, like, all the injustices that we see in the world.
• 22:29
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 22:29
  Speaker: And of course my corner is horses and animals, so I'm like, what are we doing with these wel- like, what are we doing here?
• 22:35
  Speaker: This is ridiculous.
• 22:37
  Speaker: And then I think of we have children in foster care, children without family.
• 22:41
  Speaker: What are we doing?
• 22:42
  Speaker: Why do we have hungry children?
• 22:44
  Speaker: Why do we have hungry people?
• 22:46
  Speaker: I'm like, we have so much food in the world.
• 22:47
  Speaker: We're wasting so mu- what are we doing?
• 22:49
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 22:49
  Speaker: And I'm like, we're so driven on, greed and power and all of that glaze of- and everything's on that platform It's so mind-boggling that this is what leads so many decisions and so many reasons of like where we are today through like greed and just power-based people.
• 23:12
  Speaker: I'm like,"Can't we just do what is right?" And I know that's a, that sounds easy, and it's not easy'cause there, it is money, it is resources, it i- like all that comes into play.
• 23:22
  Speaker: But for me personally, that's why I feel like I'm just still stuck in this oh, I'm, I'm not just gonna go get a job as an epidemiologist doing whatever- if it doesn't speak to my heart.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: I experience the same thing.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: The, the mustang issue is just, it's a microcosm of all of the issues that are out there, right?
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: And what you said- Mm earlier about being in nature, wanting to get that feeling again, r- that reduction of why are, why am I really here?
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Where are my connections?
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: We need that more and more to be able to come back and function in this, like, I don't know.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: It, sometimes it feels like the programs and the cities and the world and the politics is all just this illusion, right?
• 24:08
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: And how do we keep our center?
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: How do we keep our ethics?
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: How do we move in this almost non-reality while we are participating in creating the bigger real reality?
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm getting a little too philosophical, but I think you understand what I'm saying, right?
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: Oh,
• 24:30
  Speaker: no, because I went there right with you because- for example, my name Padma means lotus flower.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 24:38
  Speaker: They're a symbol of, one who, like, lives in the world but is not of the world, and I very much, resonate with that, and that's how I operate.
• 24:45
  Speaker: So it's always has been a challenge because I'm like, I feel, and it might sound, like, odd or weird, whatever, but I'm like, I feel like I'm not of this world, but I'm in this world.
• 24:58
  Speaker: And so to operate in this world but to maintain my true self- What's my true self, I feel, I guess it's like I felt how I feel like when I'm out in nature and immersed in it.
• 25:14
  Speaker: And so I That's also why I'm like, oh, God, I, I, I gotta get, I gotta get on some little adventure.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 25:21
  Speaker: Cause I mean, I need to recharge myself.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: Because that's the reality.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: Like- Yeah that life is the reality.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: And, you know, as more and more people wake up, w- I think more of us are experiencing that duality of like, wait a minute, what You know, what's real?
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: This or the dream time?
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: Mm.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: What's real?
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: The spiritualness of it, or the program that we live in our daily lives, and how do we navigate that with this-
• 25:44
  Speaker: Yeah
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: like, greater and greater awareness that there's so much going on at the same times.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: And there is something about those mustangs- And them being subjected by the programs that exist in this world, and yet here they are in their organic freedom and- beautiful sentient beings that are here to maybe demonstrate some of that.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Like, the, the symbolic, the symbolism of the freedom goes way deeper than like we're losing some civil freedoms in the United States because of the Constitution.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Way, way bigger than that.
• 26:19
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: And I appreciate being able to talk to you about it because I don't think everybody really gets it.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: And-
• 26:25
  Speaker: No
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: and it's a hard thing to explain with one voice and one perspective.
• 26:33
  Speaker: Yes.
• 26:36
  Speaker: Very much so.
• 26:37
  Speaker: Yeah, I app- I appreciate being able to talk about it'cause like you said, people don't get it, and then I'm also, I'm Then I feel oh, God, they're gonna think I'm like crazy or like way too woo woo or way too this.
• 26:48
  Speaker: And I'm like, but I guess so what?
• 26:50
  Speaker: I guess that's who I am.
• 26:52
  Speaker: But that's- Oh, yeah
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: You're not alone in your thinking there are a lot more people waking up- Yeah and having these realizations, and those horses are there to help us do it.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: And they are-
• 27:05
  Speaker: Mm-hmm
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: they are acting as ambassadors, and they are pulling us.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: They are pulling at us to, to get things to happen.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know what the right course is.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: I think we all have a part.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: You know, just like we all had a piece of that puzzle?
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: We all have a part.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: And figuring out what our part is, remaining present long enough.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: E- Eckhart totally talks about if you remain present long enough, you will understand your purpose.
• 27:36
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 27:39
  Speaker: Which I need to, write that down.
• 27:43
  Speaker: That's exactly where I'm at right now.
• 27:45
  Speaker: I'm not sure where I fall in the issue of the Mustangs, if you wanna call it issue, or in the world of the Mustang situation.
• 27:56
  Speaker: But I'm like, but I have a Mustang.
• 27:59
  Speaker: I'm here for it, and I can only stay present and aware and just one step forward at a time and kinda see where that leaves me.
• 28:10
  Speaker: And try to be more active when I see moments to be more active.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: That's huge, Padma.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: That's really huge.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: There were I ended up writing a poem.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: No, no, I- Let me see if I can find it.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: I took the puzzle pieces, okay?
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: And-
• 28:28
  Speaker: Mm-hmm
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: I took some of the things that people had said, and I...
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: it's not the greatest poem in the world, but do you remember how everybody was talking in the end, too, about scattering the ashes with the wild horses?
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: I think, um, Heidi brought it up, and somebody else said,"Yeah, I thought that," and somebody said they'd read it somewhere.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: So I'm gonna read this poem if w- if that's okay.
• 28:48
  Speaker: Okay.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: And, um, there's two lines in it,"We are well.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: It is well," and those were from the puzzle.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: And when I think about that in relation to the mustangs and them becoming ambassadors, it's almost like the controversy and the things that have happened are here to push that forward, and through it all, they are saying,"We are well.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: It is well."
• 29:17
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: There's that I may be a little cliche here, but you know from 12-step programs everywhere, this we're all exactly where we need to be all of the time.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: And that-
• 29:26
  Speaker: Mm-hmm
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: that feels right here.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: So I'm gonna read the poem.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: Intention, container, precision.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: We are here to stay together, honoring the horse beneath me.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: They encircled us with a stampede of freedom.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Joy so great, shine so bright, emotions so big that breath exalts in a cry of remembering recognition.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: The I, the we, the all, confidence and joy are yours.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Soft touch, curious, playful, careful, witness, learn, be free.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: We are well.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: It is well.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: They dance through sage to meet stillness in the wild, scattering ashes with them.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: The wild horses know no bounds.
• 30:13
  Speaker: Oh, that's beautiful.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: It came from the group.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: I feel like it really came from the group, and I just kind of arranged it.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: I...
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: that's all I can say about the trip.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Like you, it's just so hard to talk about.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: But it's not...
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: It's getting easier to talk about the what's next, which is maybe- Mm-hmm part of why we were on the trip.
• 30:36
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: There's a few things under what's next.
• 30:41
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: And the movie.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: You know, we're, we're, um, Alec is working on the movie, and these podcasts that hopefully the movie will- Bring forth some of the things we talked about today and make people aware of what happened on the trip.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: Thank you for talking with me today.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: I enjoy connecting with you and,
• 31:03
  Speaker: Yeah
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: I think a lot of the things we talked about are really important for everybody.
• 31:08
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 31:09
  Speaker: No, I agree.
• 31:12
  Speaker: And it's been refreshing'cause I feel like,"Oh, do you wanna talk?" I'm like,"Yes,"'cause I've had all these things just, like, rolling in my head, and I haven't talked about it really to anyone.
• 31:21
  Speaker: So I'm like, it's nice to just kinda-
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah
• 31:23
  Speaker: get it out, because my brain is always just thinking what's next?
• 31:28
  Speaker: What's next?
• 31:29
  Speaker: What am I doing?
• 31:31
  Speaker: These Mustangs.
• 31:33
  Speaker: And, um, yeah, just trying to figure it out and work through it.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: You know, that question, what's next, I love that, and I've used it when I go and I work with clients and the horses and we're in the ring together.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: And sometimes when it's just me and the horse in the ring together, what's next?
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: And just allow a lot of space for what, what is coming in.
• 31:58
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 32:00
  Speaker: Which is good.
• 32:00
  Speaker: I need to do that more with my own horse.
• 32:03
  Speaker: Those moments where it's just us and we're just hanging out, those are the moments where can sit and think and have those conversations with her.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:15
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 32:16
  Speaker: Maybe do my dance with her.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: That's beautiful.
• 32:23
  Speaker: Yeah Was there any other questions or anything you had or anything else you wanted to talk about?
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: I feel pretty complete.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: How about you?
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Is there something else?
• 32:34
  Speaker: No, I think that was it.